#absolutely crazy shit

[contakaidigon]

still not over the Last Stand. can you believe he did that. what the fuck

[keferon]

Guys. Guys they’re miners. They’re tiny cogless miners. Guys

I blacked out and filled the whole three canvases with sketches of them being itty bitty goobers. Figured Imma show you some haha

[starjunkyard]

Hilson should have had ONE. (1) honest to god fistfight. Not talking about no pansy ass scuffle either i need a FIGHT. Im talking bloodied noses nd bruised cheeks. I need them to exchange words that will alter the course of their relationship forever. MOST OF ALL. They need to make out nastystyle afterwards

[shit-talker]

The 141 have a ridiculous run of inside jokes that is continuosly ruining their lives, such as;

1.) If someone says, "You love it really," to you, you immediately have to agree with them, no matter what the circumstances. Otherwise, you lose the ability to do it back. This has resulted in many weird fake confessions, including one time in which Soap got fed up with people making your mom jokes at him and went on a rant about it. Ghost glanced at him in front of a room full of cadets and just went, "You love it really, though," and Soap almost died as he sadly nodded and replied, "Yeah, I do."

2.) If something even remotely sexual sounding is said about you, you must always say, "You're damn right I do/am/will," back. This backfired once when they were in a defreif and Price said something about Gaz "coming through the back door" and Gaz, without think, winked and replied "You're damn right I did," In front of everyone and got in trouble for mild insubordination. (The others almost died laughing as he realised what he'd done, who he'd done it to, and who he'd done it in front of (aka Price's bosses))

3.) When talking about Roach, they will always act like he's died. He hasn't, but none of them can stop the joke, and it always makes all of them crack up, even Roach. This once caused major panic, as once when Ghost was discussing their latest mission with Laswell, he said, "It was fine because Roach - God rest his soul -" and Laswell had about two minutes where she thinks Roach has dropped dead and she didn't fucking know.

4.) They will always make up bad stories for how they met Ghost, if anyone ever asks. It doesn't matter what the truth is, or who they're speaking to, when asked, all three of them will reply with some made up, overly dramatic or down right boring story on how they met. These stories ranged from Ghost, saving them from a shark attack (Gaz), Ghost selling them assorted drugs as a teenager (Roach), and most devastatingly is when Soap told a distant relative of his that he met Ghost after "finding him with my older brother, behind his wifes back" he does not have an older brother, and so there is no wife.

5.) They always reference the "Malibu incident." None of them have ever been to Malibu. Nothing bad has ever happened there, but now they've created a whole conspiracy in the British Army about a coverup that happened in Malibu. Price knows about this one and finds it endlessly funny, so he goes along with it, never directly mentioning it but refusing to deny it when someone asks. If anyone ever asks about the details of it, they just give a deadpanned look as if the other person should already know and say; "Don't make me say it." There are rumours. Like, a lot of rumours.

6.) Roach claps every time someone says, "I'll be there for you" because once he clapped at the wrong time during the friends intro and had been paying the price ever since. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes you'll just hear him clapping - not even in the tune to the friends theme. Just random clapping. If any of the others hear it, they almost always reply with "That's a fuckin' joke" in a really disappointed tone. It's confused a lot of people.

[stealingyourbones]

Out of all of the people The Ghost King Phantom expected to relate to, it definitely wasn’t the scrawny red headed photographer of the Daily Planet. Jimmy Olsen has gotten so many temporary superpowers over his time being Superman’s friend. Hell, he once gained a 4th dimensional being’s reality warping abilities when he was given said dimensional being’s powers during a fight. Sure there’s a dozen or so heroes with the same amount of powers he has, but none as suddenly granted to them as a all powerful god that can relate to a teenager.

[evilkaeya]

THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT KAITO AND SHINICHI ARE COUSINS??

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[334iwatchshit]

what the fuck are these gay doctors doing on my screen

WHY ARE THEY DOOMED I CANT

[macbethz]

Me: yay fun little doctor who episode

The last ten minutes:

[edwinisms]

i get such a sense of primal envy when looking at edwin’s clothes up close because god you can just tell his coat is real wool and made to last and not cheap flimsy mass produced garbage and auggagghhhh that was just STANDARD in his time. by no means am i saying i was #borninthewronggeneration because i like having vaccines and household appliances but. man. to have a personally-tailored coat like that that’d last for years and years……. and fabrics of fine thread-dense quality………. if only

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Characters as things I've said/heard people say

I went to the fair with my family so you get this

---

Angel: No regrets, if we die good riddance

----

Cherri: I would strap myself to a bomb for fun

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Charlie: I haven't pet a cow in too long I think

----

Vaggie: *furious* All because I can't crochet

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Husk: if I was a goat I'd uhhh umm I don't know I'd probably just be a goat... Sleep maybe?

----

Angel: I'm going to touch your ankles

Husk: What are you, some kind of Victorian pervert?

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Charlie: *gasping and pointing to a sign* SUPER FRIED CHICKEN

Angel: Lame I want super SUPER fried chicken

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Alastor: *watching pork roast* Gorgeous

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Charlie: *feeding Vaggie* here comes the airplane

Alastor: ... That was embarrassing for both of you

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Vaggie: *watching a man dressed as a cockroach walk by* The men have started morphing into their true forms

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Cherri: Wouldn't it be funny if this place got set on fire

Charlie: No??? There would be a stampede

Cherri: Oh damn I would die

Charlie: No, you would stampede?

Cherri: I wouldn't run

Charlie: *sigh* yeah, of course not

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Sir Pentious: If I died on a rollercoaster my last words would be "Wahoo"

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Nifty: I need to destroy, I need to rip something to shreds with my bare hands

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Lucifer and his Candy apple adventures a saga:

Lucifer: *holding a candy apple* oh hell yeah I'm gonna fuck this shit UP

-

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: *doesn't notice*

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: *looks around* ???

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: *looks back at him* What are you doing?

Lucifer: Huh?

Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*

Alastor: WILL YOU STOP

Lucifer: What are you talking about????

Alastor: You're throwing something in my hair and on my shoulders and back-

Lucifer: *singing* head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!

(my sister never figured out what I was doing 💀)

-

Lucifer: *still eating his candy apple* Why am I eating this like a chicken wing?

Charlie: Is that not how you're supposed to eat it?

Lucifer: You are absolutely right

-

Lucifer: *covered in candy apple* I'm sticky 🥺

-

Lucifer: *done with his candy apple but still chewing on the stick*

Alastor: *takes a bite of a mozzarella stick*

Lucifer: *gasps* MOZZARELLA STICKS

Alastor: *dips mozzarella sticks in marinara sauce and holds it out to Lucifer*

Lucifer: *reaches for it*

Alastor: *takes it back and glares*

Lucifer: what? oh- weirdo *eats it from his hand*

----

Lucifer: Can you bring me to the bathroom?

Alastor: I'm not carrying you

Lucifer: *rolls eyes* can you walk me to the-

Alastor: I might be able to find you a little red wagon

Lucifer: I'm going to punch you

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Cherri: Froot loops are just-

Angel: *nods seriously* Gay Cheerios

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Charlie: I need to find a bathroom to cry in asap

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Vaggie: She's either drunk or high off something

Angel: I think it would be easier if I was high

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Charlie: All I can smell is weed

Angel and Cherri: *deep inhale*

Charlie: NO

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Alastor: Ugh there are so many people

Lucifer: I know I'm dying

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Angel: *gasp* MY PHONE IS ON ONE PERCENT

Alastor: *completely monotone* oh no the horrors

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Stranger: Is that your dad?

Husk: Do I look that old?

Angel: No, we're married

Stranger: Oh... you're married

Angel: *laughing* No

Husk: DO I LOOK THAT OLD????

----

Lucifer: *singing along* I can count on you like 4 3 2 you'll be there

Alastor: No I'd leave you

Lucifer: Yeah I know

Alastor: Like everyone else

Lucifer: oh

----

Nifty: *staring at crystals* Do I think they could heal me? No, I am beyond repair. Do I think they're so so so so pretty? YES!!! I NEED THEM

----

Lucifer: *overstimulated, angry, and grinning with tears in his eyes* I wish I could enjoy things

---

[1spooky-dad]

Always and forever thinking about the day they got the eggs and got paired up, and other people being maybe a little awkward cause they still don't necessarily know the person they've been paired with, a little unsure of what bits they can get away with, and then Mariana, i imagine, is like "damn this is my chance for an actual ship for once let's fucking go let's not be To Weird so my partner won't be creeped out" but then charlie runs up and assigns him as Bitch Wife and immediately starts a bit where they've been married for years and he's trying to get a divorce and Mariana is just like 😍 YOU! You are The One. We are going to have so much sex. And he was right.

[lawva-girl]

silly draft i forgor to post:

Law being such a nerd he sometimes just stares at his figures/memorabilia, you’ll find him from time to time doing so

Maybe !!! You find him and reach up to his shoulders, he always jumps just a bit

But you continue, grabbing his shoulders and gently squeezing, trying to get his stubborn muscles to relax.

Law doesn’t exactly acknowledge you, at least not with words. He’ll sigh and lean a tiny bit into your hands, to attempt to let you know he likes it.

The first couple of times you thought he wanted to push you away, so you would retreat and drop it.

but one day law started staring at his figures, and you walked in. you didnt come close, since you wanted to respect his space.

but law grumbled, turned to you, and said "my shoulders hurt."

you just stared back at him, unsure of why he would sudden- oh

you laughed a little, to his protest, and walked over to start massaging his shoulders.

he stopped whatever mumbling had been going on and sighed in relief, saying how he felt like a kid throwing a fit.

you chuckle, and answer with something about how he was acting like a kid.

but every time he stared at his collections, or you wrote in your journal, you both were there.

rubbing each others shoulders :D

[presdestigatto]

just saw someone call charles' career 'common successes' the pole to win ratio agenda is too severe because in no way is 26 poles without a championship winning car common at ALL

every time he wins it's after ten thousand trials and tribulations and his wins this year mean so much more to me than if he had a dominant car. i said it last year and i think so doubly now that he impresses me with every race like he is him and i truly think he is the best.

[captainmaxatx]

Omega! Logan who was born in the 1800s when secondary gender roles were very prevalent but it actually really suited him and he wanted to be a home maker and have a bunch of pups but he was always too big and hairy and and not seen as a good Omega. Alphas would sleep with him but never treat him the way they would a “proper” omega and they didn’t ever want anything serious because it’s like almost shameful to have a big hairy omega.

Then times change and Omegas start breaking out of the cookie cutter roles and they go into the work force and what not (feminism but it’s omegas) and Logan is very happy for them he thinks they all deserve the right to choose, but still no one wants him. And everyone expects him being an omega with the way he looks to be at the forefront of the movement to want the change for himself, but he doesn’t.

And over the years he toughened up and stops looking to start a family and put his dreams on the back burner to become what everyone expected of him.

And then everything happens and all the sudden Logan finds himself in a universe without secondary genders, where he isn’t a too big and hairy omega, he’s just some guy.

And unintentionally he finds his way into the role he’s always craved, where he takes care of the home and the dog while Wade makes the money, and it’s the closest he’s ever been to the life he wanted. He mostly retires from fighting and heroing, but now he’s ready for a new challenge. And being near Laura has only served to dig up that old desire and instinct he tried to bury so long ago

And I mean, even if the mutant hate wasn’t as bad as it is in Logan’s old world there was still a time here not to long ago when mutants were ran out and scattered around the world. And now with the people at Xavier’s working on getting the Mutants back into the city trying to re group with their still dwindling numbers. I mean Logan and Wade should help with the mutant re population efforts, who better to do that then two very eager immortals who can heal from anything and with a whole gang of friends around them for free child care.

[sotomato06]

donald trump recently said he wants to use the national guards of red states to force blue states and sanctuary cities to comply with his mass deportation plans.

In less Facist words, he wants to use his power to pit Americans against each other and literally invade blue states. If you live in a blue state, you are not safe, no matter what your government may promise. But especially if you live in a blue city in a red state, because your government won't even try. Learn to protect yourself and fight back against this absolutely insane regime before it rips our union apart.