#YEAH I SAID IT BITCH

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

wow u guys really liked my colossal unreadable wall of tags on this one huh:

#GENIUS I TELL YOU #the worse thing about this is how it makes Actual Practical Sense. i mean like. say you get held at gunpoint and forced to reveal your Super Secret Supervillain Lair--you can just. pull the wrong lever and watch your nemesis fall into the crocodile pit. that's what i hate the most. how it is a ENTIRELY PRACTICAL DESIGN. because.. because LOOK at Yzma. NOTHING SHE DOES IS PRACTICAL. (she and kronk are just team rocket but without a Meowth to cancel out their natural dominance/submissive energies YES I FUCKING SAID IT) #anyways. the point is that they are both equally and oppositely insane. and will never ever ever be part of the same functioning workspace/office ecosystem #(emphasis on FUNCTIONING) #so there is no WAY either one of them came up with this and convinced the other to follow through. they just don't have that level of competence. as i've said many times before: Yzma! is only! competent-passing! bc she specifically hires the Most Himbo Of Himbos to stand next to her. and Kronk is actually extremely-and-weirdly-competent. just not at anything in his Actual Job Description. so again. team rocket coded but if the narrative stopped interrupting them with a spray bottle every time Jesse tried to assert dominance

"why do we even have that lever" is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)

i find the implications hilarious:

kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn't even manage that

but on the other hand, it's easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one's on yzma tbh

yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just...just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn't need to have a function

upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: "why do we even HAVE that lever?" it's because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. "why do we have that lever?" because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!

[xochimillilili]

Really been thinking about breeding my puppy for hours on end recently like genuinely. Wanna feel his cunt throbbing around my cock as I pump him full, breed a litter into him while kissing and raking my nails along his hips, feel his hands in my hair and legs around my waist.

Imagining how pretty he'd look fucked out and face down in bed afterwards, all nestled in between a nest of our blankets while I softly praise and kiss his thighs and ass, fixing his hair outta his eyes n rubbing his lil puppy hips as I tell him what a good boy he was for me.

Fucking a plug into him, so his cunt and pretty tummy stay nice and full of my cum, though not before softly yet teasingly kissing and licking up the cum that's stuck to his throbbing clit.

That's my baby, such a good baby pup for me sweetie~ Such a good puppy for daddy, shhh shh, just rest for now little one. You've gotta rest for now, you know I need to fuck another litter into you soon, just relax and let me rub and pet your pretty tummy sweetie, feels so good to be full of your dad's pups doesn't it my love?

[bogdreamz]

korvo lost and farting 0 stars for you my boy

[lyrichi]

solomon: enough about me. when were you born?

mc: ....guess

solomon: 2011

[mc gags]

[mayxo-hxh]

i love how illumi and hisoka are freak by nature x freak by act. like hisoka could 100% be a normal person if he chose to be one day but illumi couldn't act normal even if he tried

Hisoka is the guy that makes a conscious effort for people to perceive him as a disgusting freak every single day but Illumi doesnt even have to try. he just is. he exists and people are weirded the fuck out by him. Even hisoka agrees too like 😭😭😭😭

[haharuspex]

shout out to, like, 5 other people in the entire dragon age community who main aeducans + kill their stupid ass brother trian

anyway my floki aeducan :) she's an ass a rogue and a bastard (literally)

[myquietsafehaven]

Possibly an unpopular take but here it is.

If I was in Jon’s position I’d be a bitch to Martin season one too.

Dude comes in with more credentials, years of experience, and was picked specifically by my boss who I respect. Then proceeds to show none of the skills he is expected to have and in fact seems to be the least competent of everyone in the Archives.

I would 100% believe he was fucking up on purpose and respond accordingly.

Like maybe it’s the autism and imposter syndrome combo that I embody but Hanlon’s Razor is hard to prescribe in such a circumstance.

Also I prefer Grey’s Law: Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.

So yeah I’m a firm believer in the ‘Jon was a bitch in season one but you know what fair,’ stance.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Track list for Fig and the Cig Figs independently published Junior Year album (officially named “Infaethable”)

Teenage Rebellion

Night Yorb (a heavy metal banger)

Summer Scaries

Devils Nectar

Time Quangle (a love song about Ayda)

Multiclass (Gorgug sings on this!)

The Ballad Of Lucy Frostblade (Kristen was the one who convinced Fig to write this)

So Late, So Tactical

Do You Have A Fucking Warrant

Cassandra (Can You Hear Me)

Hall Of Mirrors

President Applebees (written entirely in the night after Kristen gets elected by a drunk Fig with extremely drunk notes by Kristen)

Raging For Love (inspired by Gorgug, of course)

The Elven Oracle (Has A Day Job) (So Stop Bothering Her)

Maximum Legend

Fury Of The Ball

Cursed

Infaethable

The Bad Kids

[angy-grrr]

spoilers for chapter 429

idk if you guys remember but ochako does have parallels with All Might, specifically as the side who saves. It’s not that he feels the same for them both or something like that, they serve to represent the type of heroism he naturally goes to; his friend is not his love interest, from his perspective she’s out there having a crisis over not being able to save her, and Izuku reminds her that she is a hero bc she is his hero -she saved him multiple times, and she should be able to feel like a proper hero.

This conversation is not about the nature of their relationship, is about heroism; Izuku relates to a conflict between being a hero who saves and failing to save someone, and doesn’t want to see Ochako ending spiraling because she couldn’t also fulfill that role as expected. She’s his hero not because he loves her romantically -he’s a nerd I’m sure he would be way more nervous and blushing if he was confessing anything he thought was romantic- but because she’s able to go and do what All Might does to Izuku, save him physically and emotionally.

He knows she hides her feelings in order to not be a burden, yet he doesn’t talk about his own feelings outside of his guilt in heroics -what does he feel about losing OFA? About his own failures? About the people he personally lost? He can’t talk for others and claim Ochako is everyone’s hero, but he can speak for himself, and that’s his personal perspective -she is a hero to him, she’s his hero. And then the class appears to make sure she’s able to get support and understand she’s not alone, and she’s important to them too.

but Izuku doesn’t get support. Izuku cries a little and talks a little about himself, but he doesn’t get supported. If this was meant to be romantic, I don’t understand why he would hold back what’s inside of him.

the end of the chapter reveals that boy is going to be helped by that woman who regretfully ignored Tenko, and they both witness it and are happy about it while hearing izuku inspired that change, and iida wonders what’s up with them -this is the conclusion to their relationship. In their hearts these two are saviors who struggle to be heroes who save others, and they are happy there are appearing more people who want to be heroes like them. Heroes who save. Save like All Might.

That grandma for example, interpreting the narrative as what I think is intended, would be that boy’s All Might; she’s his hero.

Izuku and Ochako are heroes who save, and Deku is here to remind her at least she did save him many times, that she is still a hero because she is his hero. I don’t believe is meant to be interpreted as romantic, not that Izuku sees that phrase as it neither -after all, he said he does want to be like All Might and feels good to imitate him, but he doesn’t love him.

Ochako’s All Might hair moment, the parallels with Toshinori telling him he can be a hero, the trying to save from black suffocating quirks, the we can do it and do your best…

Do I need to remind you heroes arent a romantic thing for Izuku Midoriya?

[bumblydumbly]

insane how people act like charles is ‘the jealous one’ like edwin didnt spend the whole first episode screaming crying throwing up every time charles looked at crystal and not him

[musical-chick-13]

This is the only thing I'm going to say about the election until it's over:

Anyone who did not vote for Harris or who attempted to dissuade people from voting for Harris, you are indirectly responsible for whatever shit Donald Trump does if he gets elected. That blood is primarily on his hands, yes. But it is also on yours. I hope you can live with that because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[scrollonso]

only sexy people like lance stroll

[currently-haunted]

waiting for the inevitable angst guys

[galaxostars]

“where else did he want to run to when he was scared besides right here?”

extract from a scene in Hide Your Fires by @starsworth

I am still in pieces since that hug ✌🏻

[gingermintpepper]

I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)

SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??

OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS

I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).

Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀

Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.

(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)

(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)

Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.