#Workplace Etiquette

[handsomeamoeba]

How to Approach a Coworker

1) don't show fear.

2) maintain eye contact with the coworker.

3) hold your arms up to appear larger than the coworker.

4) back away slowly while shouting and waving your arms.

5) DO NOT RUN. this will trigger the coworker's prey drive!

6) when the coworker is out of eyeline, turn and walk calmly to the nearest shelter, checking behind yourself occasionally.

7) if the coworker reappears, begin again from step 1.

[eraserspiral]

being in a large workplace when you have prosopagnosia is erm, fun

"hi [name], how's it going?"

I have no idea who you are. we may have met once or known each other for years. keep talking and I may get some context clues, but for now you are NPC_01 and I will smile blandly until you let me escape

[alex51324]

Supposing that you had recently applied and been interviewed for a promotion at your job, which would be the WORSE to find out you didn't get it?

A: The boss makes a general announcement to everyone naming the person who was promoted, who is not you, or

B. You get up (on a day you are not working until the evening) to find an email from the boss's secretary, stating that he would like to schedule a Zoom call with you today to to "discuss your application." You then rearrange your remaining pre-work hours around this meeting, such that you cannot do anything else you might have planned to do with that time. When you arrive at the meeting, the boss explains that he wanted to tell you face-to-face that they went with someone else, rather than subject you to Scenario A.

(Just to further develop this hypothetical, the interview was with a committee, who would be providing a recommendation to the boss. They mentioned during the interview that he might decide to talk to the finalists before making the decision.)

(If you're wondering why "finding out via an email, voicemail, or form letter" is not one of the options, your guess is as good as mine.)

[umbrellacorphq]

Topics to avoid in the workplace:

- other people's personal medical history - politics - sexual preferences - salary - the incident on the 7th floor - relationship problems

[sweaterkittensahoy]

My work: You may not use your computer for personal work.

Me, plugging in my thumb drive so I can rotate some pdfs using Acrobat Pro: Uh-huh.

[abigailspinach]

Starbursts

. Starburst curation

My office has a communal candy dish that includes the little two-packs of Starbursts. A coworker has taken to opening these packets, eating only the Starburst flavors they like (pink and orange), and leaving the remaining Starburst squares (red and yellow) behind for others. On the one hand, this strikes me as absolutely unhinged behavior. On the other hand, this unhinged behavior means I also have a whole slew of red Starbursts (my favorite) at my disposal, without even having to gamble for them. Am I obligated to say anything about this behavior, for the greater good? Or, with two Starburst-happy employees in balance, am I in the clear to continue letting crime pay?

I’m not sure there’s anything unhinged happening here! If your coworker is opening all the packages and removing the pink and orange Starbursts so there are none for anyone else, then yes, this is boorish behavior. But if they’re just taking a reasonable amount of candy and putting back the individually wrapped ones they don’t like so someone else can have them, this is what top minds consider a classic win/win.

Either way, you are under no obligation to speak up and may continue enjoying the red cast-offs without qualms.

[darrenwalleyconsultancy]

Unwritten Rules at Work

Photo by Aaron Burden Since birth, we have been guided by a set of social norms. Which effectively are unwritten rules that we live by. These unwritten rules guide how we live and determine how people react to us. In times gone by, most of these rules were called “good manners”. These would guide the behaviour of a lady or a gentleman. Unfortunately, some of these rules are no longer…

[theeleganceadvisor]

How to Interrupt politely? If you are ever in a situation where you are in a group of people and you notice someone trying to get into the conversation, do your best to include them with your body language, eye contact, and a head nod. It is elegant and kind to be inclusive.

[anxiousangerball]

Old or young, I have never been "in touch" with anything trendy (or even not-so-trendy) in my life.

And I admit that I am both old and rather set in my ways. (Old, of course, is relative. Relative to what I've been hearing about the correct age to be on Tumblr, I am old.) It would never occur to me that one thing that I was taught as a bright young thing would ever change.

I'm at work today. Corporate setting.

I just went to use the bathroom.

Explain to me how mores have changed enough that it is acceptable to hold a phone conversation in a stall of a public restroom of an office work setting.

(We have a variety of meeting rooms which, on Mondays, are generally empty. Go hold your fucking conversation there, Ethel! I'm trying to take a dump here.)

And I get, a part of my irritation is that I really would prefer to use the restroom without anyone else in there. That's a me thing, and I understand that. Still, I maintain that a bathroom stall is not interchangeable with a fucking office, a fucking meeting room or a motherfucking telephone booth. Fuck, take a fucking walk outside if what you have to say on the phone is so god damn sensitive that you can't hold this conversation at your fucking desk.

(Also on me is my assumption that the person holding office hours in the bathroom stall is irritated that I flushed the toilet while they were chatting on the phone. (Gross, right? A toilet flushing in the background isn't something anyone wants to hear while on a telephone call, right? Am I crazy to think that?) My assuming that the person is irritated with me (a common worry that I am working on) for me just living my life is something I do own.))

[dailymanners]

If you give someone a ride home, or walk someone home, don't leave or drive away until you see them get inside and close the door behind them. Make sure you see to it that they get fully get inside safely before you leave.

This also applies to temporary residences, such as a hotel, airbnb, dormitories, ect.

Seeing to it that they fully make it inside safely isn't just about fear of something as drastic as an assault or a mugging. It would also be awfully annoying and stressful for them if they lost their key, and before realizing they're locked out their ride or walking companion has already sped off, so now they're stuck outside alone with nowhere else to go, and possibly a dead phone (when it rains it pours). Or maybe there's dangerous fauna in the area. Or maybe the neighbor's poorly trained dog with aggression issues is loose. Or maybe they slip and hurt themselves while walking to the door.

Even if you're absolutely positive they'll make it to the door safely, it's still a kind and thoughtful gesture to let them know that you care enough about their safety to see to it that they make it inside safely.

[mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips]

Ravi: Guys, I almost choked to death last night.

Buck: It's fine, next time just stay still and breathe through your nose before you take more.

Ravi:... I was talking about food, what were you-

Buck:... I was talking about stuff in general.

Eddie: *walking by* I'm stuff in general.

Hen: *cackles*

Chim: *groans*

Bobby: *sighs deeply*

[eraserspiral]

how do I say fuck you, you absolute cuntweasel but like, professionally?

[akkivee]

according to canon at least lol

[pyrokineticqueen]

Tma Crack AU where after the worm infestations get too frequent, everybody just starts squatting Sasha's place because after the events of mag 26, it's clear she's untouchable.

Like she followed a neon eldritch horror to several secondary locations, killed a man with a fire extinguisher while knee deep in worms the whole time and lived. Let's face it, had it not been for the clown table with existential issues, Sasha would've made her way through all the Fears with a stapler before Elias even had time to [extended sounds of brutal pipe murder]. She's two expresso shots away from being god.

It started out with Tim. He wasn't really scared of the worms, but had had too many close calls for Sasha's taste, and it's not like they'd never stayed over at each other's place before, so it's fine. Tim just starts sleeping on Sasha's couch.

After that it feels cruel not to invite Martin. The man's living in the archives for god's sake. Sasha may not know him as much as she knows Tim but they are friends. Besides, agressive-tea making has never hurt anyone (yet). So they pull out a sleeping bag from the closet and the more the merrier.

No one has any idea how Elias made his way here, but he's there now and Jon has no choice but to follow. The Head Archivist insists on taking the bus every morning to avoid spending his entire day with the people he now lives and works with, despite the underground being much faster, and arrives late almost without fail. He's smiled maybe half a time since he got here, but Martin and Tim were still shocked to find out that Jon is physically able sleep.

It is a mess. Sasha's living room is too small for four sleeping bags. They take turns cooking and Tim always makes ramen without fail. Elias' pyjamas are somehow a three-piece suit. But there are no worms and everyone is happy and alive.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi, I grew up in a UK working class background and have just started working in academia which is predominantly middle class. I recently went to a conference and during the day when it was all work talk I had no issues fitting in and have a number of people who wish to collaborate with me due to my unusual skill set.

However in the evenings when we went for dinners/drinks I felt out of place as conversation topics were more general. I know that I need to become more well versed in politics and history, but I was wondering if you could recommend any other topics I should start learning about to make conversations at these events easier?

Hi love. I'm not from the U.K. but have some friends from university/clients/special friends who live or have lived in London, and it seems like these hobbies & subject matters tend to be of interest:

The art market & general art knowledge/art history

Tennis/Football/Rugby/Polo/Cricket/Equestrian sports

Knowledge of social clubs, restaurants, museums, where to shop, etc.

Significant or trending books, social media trends

Best places for traveling during different times of the year, hot spots in these destinations, general cultural knowledge of these areas

Buzzy television shows, movies, celebrities, media events, etc.

General understanding of the real estate market/social climates of different regions and their social scene groups

Anyone from the U.K. in this community, please feel free to add anything or correct any of my outsider observations.

Hope this helps xx

[theeleganceadvisor]

The Elegance Advisor — Best Personal and Professional Etiquette Online Course

The Elegance Advisor offers a certified etiquette course and image advising. They provide online classes and personal advising in various areas, including adult etiquette, young adult etiquette, children’s etiquette, and corporate workshops. With a focus on cultivating elegance, their services cover topics such as business etiquette, interview etiquette, workplace etiquette, office etiquette, elegant communication, public speaking, table manners, personal branding, and more.