#Without multiple nightmares
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I just realized one thing
Tallulah saw Binary Monster in her dream long before it's introduction
Tallulah had a prophetic dream
You know, who also had prophetic dreams?
Fundy.
Wilbur had some serious beef with Apollo, I see
#dream smp#qsmp#qsmp tallulah#fundy#wilbur soot#At least for her it was just once#Without multiple nightmares#She's like#What if#Fundy chose easy mode instead of hardcore mode during birth#i'm so happy for her#Never mess with Apollo
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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me on the sims wiki trying to explain the lore of sims 2 to a friend who never played sims 2 like "and in strangetown everywhere you look you think you're avoiding them, but then you look in the family tree and you see them again: the curious family"
#moonys ramble tag#shitpost#people talk about veronaville and like yeah it's a whole neighborhood with only three families#playing more than a gen or two there must be a nightmare#but nobody talks about how like half of strangetown is in some way related to the curious family#sometimes they're even doubly related (the alien sisters who are from the curious family but also pol's kids)#(and pol married... a curious)#though strangetown is the only neighborhood you can have aliens dating without a multiple pollination tech mod
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.
#i forgot how hard if i had words is to write#cause i refuse to write the same scene twice so its like. who gets the big love confession. who gets the big reveals#which chapter gets which juicy gossip#and then how do you write the other one WITHOUT the big juicy gosspi#without it just feeling like theres a massive hole in the plot#writing tag#if i had words#its a nightmare. but i love it! but it is one of the horrors#anyway the last chapter is like 90% max having multiple internal crises at once and 10% him thinking about pegging so thats fun#charles' is 100% him trying to figure out how to woo that man and yapping about iit to everyone he knows
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it always feels so weird when vi am happy for multiple days in a row without something specific happening to make ve feel happy. is this how people are supposed to feel normally???
#like you're supposed to be happy for multiple days????#you can be happy without something good happening to make you happy or a special interest???#this is so weird#actually getting treatment for depression now lol#also graduating and getting away from vy old school#being able to feel happy for multiple days in a row without an immediate reason is so weird#thinking how far vi have come within two years#when vi literally felt like vi was going to die somehow before vi graduated bc vi was in so much fear all the time#to now where vi am actually happy and recovering and able to express vyself and actually be a person and not have to make vyself disappear#also the nightmares are less frequent now too especially since they no longer have power over ve since vi graduated#it gets better#vi was able to make it through and survive and vi am so proud of vy younger self#actually knowing what vi want is hard tho after so many years of suppressing vyself#don't rb#harbor's posts
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Letters 6:27
By Us the Poets
I feel you,
Being in the closet
Is like a closed mouth
Full of hotsauce
Bursting to get out
I want out
I know you do
But you can't seemingly live without
The thought of
Your parents
Or peers
Striking you down
Well here's a mental medicine for life's emotional riding roller coasters
Just because they birthed you out
Doesn't make them your parents
A parent is someone who takes care of their kid no matter what
Circumstances unknown couldn't keep them from
Their own child
And how wild is it
That these so called best friends are not there to be with you till the end
But they are there to end when
Things get too thick
Or too thin
And maybe it's coming from within
Not within your friends
But within you
Because maybe if truth would've been told by you
Then losing someone special
Wouldn't have came in twos.
So you choose
To stay in the closet
Trapped with skeletons, rubbers, and R. Kelly's gun
A baretta too vendetta
For a night's fight of fun
I wish I could run
To your aid
But I'm tired already
I'm sore from the pain you kept me hustling behind
So spaghetti noodles
I go limp soup
You'll
Be alright
I wish you the best but
More importantly
I wish you love, peace, and acceptance
Of self.
#title#poems by us the poets#jude lupe felix felipe fenix phillip jarel o'rion rippington mr alias nightmare poetall#poetry community#alter egos#aliases#multiple personality disorder#count the letters#i apologize for outing you but im not sorry for telling the truth#baby come back...psyche nigga jus playin#i dont need you#better off without you#break up poem#we were never dating#but it felt like it doe#your words... ��we can never be together man”#youre afraid#and i get that#being outed#self acceptance#self love poem#peace#spilled poetry#nothin but love 4 u#to each his own#you do you#hope you find what you looking for#blessings#dont let others dictate you#letters 6:21 (27th letter)
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Category 5 "Locked out of govt offices bc I was exactly 4 minutes late" event
#I've been trying to get all the paperwork I need to get officially hired THIS WHOLE MONTH!!!!#MAKE IT STOP!!!#(rly glad* to have a real full-time with which we can afford a bike so we can move around town without paying multiple appendages per trip-#but DAMN....)#*terrfied also ofc bc this implies working actual 9-to-6 hourd which is???? sometimes that's my SLEEP SCHEDULE#like BITCH???????#also i have to Be At The Office a couple times per week & they absolutely require formal clothing and a faceshield to get thru the door ._.#like ok queen ty for 'taking covid seriously' or whatever#but letting me work from home fulltime like we'd done all of last year would be safer.... lol#and also not a sensory nightmare which causes me to work at 0.5% normal speed#pandemic aside THE CLOTHES!!! how am i gonna muster enough brain-RAM to tank shitty stiff office attire (WHICH I DON'T OWN CURRENTLY BTW-#partner says their dad can help w that but it's going to be a) humiliating and b) prolly a rushed fastfashion pick & thus illfitting as FUQ#) and ALSO FUNCTION at the same time ?#gonna be tbh creaturing amongst my coworkers in the flesh for the 1st time#sure hope I can get a good grade in those soshe inties (social interactions)..........#HRAAAGHFJRHRHRHDHGDGG#viitalks
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Assuming I lived through the childhood asthma and being pretty much fucking blind without glasses, I'd die of a hangnail at age 21!
...Which I know, because a hangnail got dangerously infected and put me in the hospital when I was 21. Like if I'd waited another day to go to ER, they would have been treating me for sepsis. Amputation was very much on the table if the IV antibiotics hadn't worked, and even years later I still routinely contemplate the fact that after all the dumb shit I've done in my life, the first thing that genuinely put my life in immediate danger was a fucking hangnail. Antibiotics are truly amazing, and infected wounds are way more dangerous than most people think.
*this is just about having medical needs that would have meant death without modern medicine, so no ‘I’d probably die from not being able to distinguish the blur as a lion’ we have a healthy caveman squad who cares for each other, we just also dont have, yknow, penicilin. etcetera.
pls reblog for sample size etc
follow for more occasional useless polls :)
#my older sibling probably would've died very young tho#they were in the ICU for awhile after they were born tho idk what the complications were exactly#and their belly button was such an aggressive outie they needed surgery as a toddler because it was pulling their intestines out?#again i'm not clear on the details but the medical issues were probably very upsetting for two new parents#meanwhile i practically fell out totally fine and mom hated having to spend 24 hours in the hospital with me afterwards#bcause it was a brutal heatwave there was no AC and the hospital showers werent working#then all i had was colic but apparently it meant i wore myself out screaming all day and slept through the night. the parents loved it#the sibling was a really hard baby but then smooth sailing from there#meanwhile i was an easy baby and then such a nightmare they had to get multiple parenting help books lmaooo#my favourite is the one thats just 'how to accommodate your autistic child without having to admit your kid is autistic'#the book NEVER said autism it was just a help book for raising 'spirited' children. extremely funny
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I hate it when actors talk about an animal they had to work with on set and it’s obvious they were not patient with the animal at all. You especially see this with non cat people who had to work with cats and are like “Working with that cat was the bane of my existence, never on cue, scratched me once, always seemed afraid of me.” Like yeah, she’s a cat. She could probably sense you hated her. It’s hard enough to be an animal in the entertainment industry without some guy being a dick to you. Are you that uncharitable with human costars (and particularly child actors) or do you just hate animals?
Conversely, it’s so heartwarming when an actor speaks positively about an animal they worked with and/or there are behind the scenes stories of the crew genuinely trying to make the animal comfortable and giving them grace.
One of my favorite examples of this is Mad Max 2 (1981) which was made on a budget of $4.5 million AUD (about $13.5 USD in today’s money). They ended up casting a dog from the pound that was scheduled to be put down and by all accounts the dog was a nightmare to work with. But most of the cast and crew loved him. The dog’s name was Dog so his character’s name was also Dog. He was difficult to train but super food motivated so they kept writing dog food into scenes for him. He kept freaking out on set and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Eventually they realized part of the reason he kept acting out was because he was terrified of the sound of cars and motorcycles so they had special doggy earplugs made. His character was supposed to be aggressive but real Dog was very affectionate and could not be made to behave aggressively so they had to use selective editing to make him seem more menacing. When filming was done multiple crew members wanted to adopt him because he was such a good bad boy. He was adopted by one of the stuntwomen and got to live out the rest of his life doing actual blue heeler things. That was his only film role.
#I think I remember Mel Gibson complaining about him#which makes sense because Mel Gibson is a dickhead#and the dog in the first movie didn’t like him either#but everybody else was like ‘yeah he’s a neurotic high maintenance shelter dog whatever. we like him anyway’
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Actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel, without context:
A character has ominous nightmares and attributes them to eating too much paprika
Dracula first appears wearing a fake beard
The person he was trying to fool with the fake beard immediately realizes Dracula and Beard Guy are the same man, due to both having really firm handshakes
We are told parrots are immortal unless fatally wounded
A Texan cowboy opens fire on a bat flitting around a window, and lodges a bullet in the wall of an occupied room
A woman is called a polyandrist for receiving blood transfusions from multiple men
An incorrectly addressed telegram leads to two deaths, multiple druggings, and several children being assaulted
Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, takes a lovely trip to the zoo and freaks out the animals so badly that he gets mentioned in a newspaper article
The one character who knows anything about vampires spends a good two-thirds of the book refusing to talk about vampires
Dracula went to Satan's Witchcraft Academy and somehow this is only brought up in two throwaway lines
A character gets stuck inside a circle of communion wafer crumbs
A major plot point of the book is Dracula (who was said to be a brilliant scholar and has the strength of twenty mortal men) realizing he can move boxes without human help
Someone is referred to as "manifestly a prig of the first water"
Two characters have a hobby of reading train schedules
A hospital lets a mental patient escape to see what will happen
A character starts vomiting up feathers from eating whole birds
A doctor refuses to give a medical diagnosis and instead makes a speech about growing corn
Dracula impersonates another character just by wearing the same clothes, despite being taller and visibly much older. This deception is successful.
A character "cleans" a room by eating all the insects in it
Suddenly: rats. Thousands of them.
The heroes progress in their efforts through "the wonderful power of money," i.e., bribery
Dracula has three other vampires in his castle. Their relation to him is never explained, nor are any of them named.
A character insists his salvation depends on having a pet cat
Dracula is thwarted by flowers on more than one occasion
A group of vampires stand in the hall outside a man's bedroom, talking loudly about their plans to eat him. When he comes to the door to confront them, they run away laughing
Dracula wears an unfashionable hat and gets roasted for it
A group of Romanians encounter a disheveled, shouting man and, "seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they [give] him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached."
A boat crashes due to Dracula having the munchies
A wolf is thrown through a window and immediately runs off, confused and covered in glass
Dracula makes a bed
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whenever we go through a particularly rough patch, there always seems to be this point shortly afterwards once we start trying to recover and get our shit together where it's really hard to tell how well we're doing because in some ways it looks like we're doing way better but in others it looks like we're doing really badly.
usually it's some combination of being more organised and doing better at keeping up with chores and catching up with stuff we'd been struggling to keep on top of, and even doing a lot better at using various coping mechanisms, but then also getting really fucking depressed and having flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks and random breakdowns and more (dissociative) seizures than usual and just generally having symptoms that make it seem like our mental health is much worse.
like obviously during the rough patch we also have a fuckload of the same symptoms because of our mental health being shit, but during that it's constant and we can't keep up with basic shit and it's clear that we're struggling, whereas in the weird period afterwards we look like we're doing great from an outside perspective and seem to flip back and forth between feeling like we're doing great and feeling like the world is ending.
I'm guessing it's something to do with how brains process stuff because if you go through something traumatic that's not just gonna go away once it's over, but good god I would like it to be easier.
anyway we're currently in that weird recovery period and we also have just over a month before we hit a wall of anniversaries of stuff that always fucks us up and that usually comes with us having to work on processing shit and like, I'll put in the work to process and deal with that, but god I hate how much work it actually is just to try and manage our mental health and I hate that I spent all summer going "I am being actively traumatised and can't do anything about it and I'm gonna have to deal with processing all of this later" and sure enough now I'm having to deal with processing it
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I keep wondering why I feel so bad and why I'm having nightmares about medical procedures#(usually either doctors doing stuff to us without our consent and/or procedures going wrong in horrifying ways)#and then other alters have to remind me that we did in fact spend 3 months having to deal with a load of medical stuff#that included us trying to deal with some of our worst triggers and us not being given adequate treatment for certain stuff#(mostly the dental abscesses that went untreated for over a month despite us mentioning the severe pain to multiple people)#and having reactions to meds that fucked us up so bad we were scared it would kill us#and waking up in so much pain we couldn't fucking move on an almost daily basis#plus there's just been a lot of other stuff going on that's unrelated to all this that we did not get to process as it was happening#and will probably have to deal with those emotions randomly coming up later instead#and now we've thrown ourselves into trying to get our life back together and doing everything we reasonably can to help ourselves#because the minute we're out of the situation and able to focus on recovering we just kind of throw ourselves head first into it#that's not to say we weren't doing everything we could to manage our mental health during the situation#but ''everything you can do'' is a hell of a lot less when you're in that much pain
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you guys have it so easy…
#the horrors#you don’t have to work a job with your main trigger#I may be recovered from some of the worst of it but I’m still stuck with it#imagine your biggest fears#all fucking day#without stop#imagine having to feel your worst sensory nightmares all day#multiple times a week#this is not good for me#but I love you so I have to do it#I love so hard I destroy myself#and abandon all of my self needs#I’m only surviving
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I want to know if my nightmares are strange or not by comparison. BTW I am a lucid dreamer.
An orangutan chasing me through a building and when I wanted to shower with the rest there was a spider as big as I was on the curtain.
Can't remember this one well but I was actually enjoying the puzzle solving aspect of it even if there was lots of gory parts but the actual scary part of it was a witch chasing me. she was sweaty, matted crazy hair and nails about 2 meters long never cleaned and you could see various stains on her. The chase happens after I open a safe and when I saw her I bolted. Funniest part was that a kitsune charged over to me already and I basically ignored it.
Last one I can't really explain as it started out normal, went to school and flirted with some guys. Something just kept telling me to wake up. It started after I flirted with a ginger and the longer it went on, the stronger the feeling was. My consciousness eventually decided that no matter what happens to me it won't be a big enough shock so it targeted my best friend. She became pregnant and was later run over by a truck. I couldn't sleep after that as I kept feeling the thing keeping an eye on me. I wonder if it chose a ginger is because I am most attracted to them. I feel like it didn't originally look like that.
#tw nightmares#Nightmare#nightmare#Dreams#I literally dreamed about a giant snake chasing me multiple times and all I thought was how fun#I even dreamt about raptors trying to kill me#It was fun trying to escape#I keep getting comments on how strange my dreams are#almost forgot#I even dreamed about something taking me away in the dark#Even after all the precautions it was like that new boogeyman movies#Where all the lights went out or was destroyed by it#After I actually moved out of my old house I didn't have another nightmare#So it's been 6 years without nightmares but still fun dreams#lucid dreaming#I wanted to add something but I forgot#I was squished by my pup
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Reasons Discord's New Mobile Layout Update is Bad
The reply function is redundant, as most people are used to just holding down and tapping the reply option at the top. If they're going to change it, they shouldn't have gotten rid of the member list for this functionally bad option. It also doesnt line up with any other platform in terms of swipe direction.
The member list is gone from easy viewing
It doesnt auto open your last group chat/DM making multiple simultaneous conversations far more difficult and longer
It's already broken my app once (Locked all channels including other servers' to one channel. I could not access anything except that and my DMs.)
You can not see images that have been pinned in the pins tab.
The search function was fine before. Where did your before, during and after date search go??
All of Discord's individuality is disappearing.
Getting used to a mobile format actually impedes usage of the desktop format and likely discourages people from multiplatforming discord because theyre so used to the "intuitiveness" of the new "tailored for mobile" experience
There is no way to CHANGE IT BACK. This is like Tumblr rolling out Tumblr Live without any Disable button At All.
Why are they marketing midnight mode as Something fucking ENTIRELY new??? It has always been a feature on Android as the AMOLED theme???????
DARK MODE IS NO LONGER LOW CONTRAST AND DISCORD IS DEVOLVING INTO AN ACCESSIBILITY NIGHTMARE
Disable swipe-to-reply by activating full-screen Launchpad in Advanced Settings
Discord’s new layout is apparently permanent. Keep sending feedback and rating it one star on all appstores; if you get redirected to the advice article, double tap gove feedback.
If you, too, dislike the theme, head to settings (you can double tap your account picture) and go to Appearance, scroll to New Layout and Send Feedback.
Overall, what they've done is disorientate every single current user on discord, and you cannot avoid it unless you've not updated to the latest discord because this is not an update. It is a feature that has already been on the latest update and is being slowly rolled out, like Tumblr Polls.
Good Luck, and may we send as much feedback as possible and have them make it optional or at the least, revert it. I've already sent in at least seven complaints to discord, commented on their instagram post about the layout and I'm about one star review it on google play and app store.
This isnt just the appearance and vibes being off like the new (ish) app icon, this is a matter of functionality.
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Seven x Deadpool!Reader
t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader is insensitive and an asshole since they're also a supe working at vought, your powers are the exact same as Deadpool (even the skin condition), mention about killing, death, gore, r-pe, n@zis?!?!, alcohol, some intimacy (?). Also reader is gn!!
ᯓ★ here's a version with the boys <3
HOMELANDER
This man hates you so fking much
Has tried to kill you multiple times, he tried lasering you, tearing you in half and even throwing you into the sky but you just always manage to come back like the damn plague
Eventually he gives up trying to kill you and just had to deal with the fact you'll be kept alive... just temporarily though... he's still looking for ways to kill you
However, your powers gave you dozens of advantages when around Homelander.
He can be having a meeting about something serious and everyone would be listening to him due to their fear towards him, then there's you who'd be doing your own thing and just shout out unrelated things like "Donald Trump just blocked me on Twitter!! HAH!! SUCK IT CORNFLACKS!!"
Everyone turning to you with startled expressions while Homelander simply rolls his eyes before continuing his presentation.
You are a complete nightmare to the PR team, that's why for interviews or any events, you'll always be paired up with Homelander so he can keep you under control and stop you from saying weird shit that could ruin the company's image.
"So Deadpool, how does it feel being in the Seven working alongside Homelander? You've been working together for almost 3 years now" A reporter would ask as you two are surrounded by screaming fans.
"Like I'm in the twilight series, not because of the fantasy but because I'm still waiting for the part where he impregnates me—"
"O-kay! That's enough, just silly ol' Deadpool with those inside jokes"
"You can tell in this eyes that he wants to fuck me right now. HE'S GONNA FUCK ME!!" You shouted as you're being dragged away by him.
Obviously when you had found out about his relationship with Stormfront, especially her background, you had to say some shit about it. Not giving the slightest care about the fact he could be grieving over her death.
He'll be in his room standing in front of the window and you'd just storm in, being as loud as possible.
"I can't believe you dated a N@zi!! Is it because I'm Jewish?!" Which may or may not be true, nobody knows your origin.
He may hate your guts but if he ever needs someone to help him do some dirty work, you're the person for the job, you never ask why or how, which could be the only thing he likes about you.
"Y'know, maybe if you didn't have such a big mouth, you'd be tolerable"
"All the people I've slept with have said otherwise"
Compatibility? 50%
STARLIGHT
Before she joined the Seven, she had an image of what kind of person you were, she just didn't know it was this worse.
When you found out she used to work at this Sunday School Church, you just haaaaad to say something about it.
"So like, you say that prayer always works, but every night I pray for my hair to grow and it never does. Do you think God has me blocked? How do I get unblock?"
"Uh..."
You two surprisingly get along without one wanting to slice the other's throat, except sometimes the things you say can really piss her off. Which is why when the company assigned her a new costume, she was trying her hardest to avoid you, but you found out anyways.
"Holy shit Starlight! Nice costume, is this your Miley Cyrus breakthrough? Girl power!"
Insert her groaning out of annoyance.
Again, the second you discovered she was dating a guy behind the death of Translucent, you were heartbroken :(
"Of course this happens right when my therapist gives up on me!"
Despite your behaviour, you pitied her when it was revealed that she was taken advantage of by The Deep, so like any good friend, you took revenge by cooking his friend octopus and eating it happily in front of him.
"Revenge does taste sweet" You'd say happily while Starlight just watches by the side, both grateful and horrified at your actions.
In my opinion, you would definitely be the person she goes to once she starts working with the boys, you'll always be providing whatever information that happens in the company for her to use.
It helps her worry less about getting anyone killed 'cause you literally can't die.
Compatibility? 60%
QUEEN MAEVE
You're half the reason why she rethinks about her life choices when she wakes up in the morning
Not because you're a handful (which you are) but because you're always paired together on missions
"Deadpool! The hostages!"
"OKAY! God... you act just like my drunk uncle"
Which is a joke/nickname you like to address her by because of her alcoholism (yikes)
Whenever the company needs you for something, half of the time she's the one assigned to search for you.
There was this one time she caught you trying to have Anika track down Kanye West's location, nobody knows what shenanigans you were up to.
Another thing to mention was that you two were chosen by the company to sing a Christmas song for the year's Christmas ceremony.
Just imagine during the bridge of the song, she's singing normally while you're completely going off, your high note so high you were sure you had Mariah Carey a run for her money.
Even though she finds you a lot to deal with, you're actually her buddy to train with.
Since you're very skilled with Katanas, she likes to practice her swordsmanship with you.
You like to tease or make fun of her everytime she fails to strike you which is good motivation for her to get better. Maybe you guys bring out the best of each other?
Last thing I'd like to add is when she was found out by the public that she was a lesbian (She's bi but you get the running joke), you had gifted her a t-shirt that says, 'Biggest Dick in Town'
Compatibility? 80%
THE DEEP
Your human punching bag
If Vought was a high school instead of a company, you'd be the bully and he'd be the nerd getting stuffed inside the locker room.
For example, Homelander could be confronting Starlight about her relationship with Hughie and everyone would just start raising their voices til you come in yelling "SHUT UP!" to the Deep who had not said a single thing during the entire time.
Just imagine him staring at you like 😐
To be honest you also ate his friend octopus so you guys are actually never getting the chance to make up.
"Look dude, I don't appreciate your tone"
"I don't appreciate your haircut either but we can't all get what we want"
You may be a crazy person but you weren't going to be okay with the fact he violates every woman he sees, so not only did you cook the octopus but you also called in a male stripper disguised as a woman just for him to celebrate on his birthday.
Just imagine him all happy when you tell him the news and later that night he'll run inside your room, completely pissed off at your act after finding out but you just laughed and said.
"Happy April Fools 😚!"
"That's next month dipshit!"
Also, you never understood his weird fantasies. He has a thing for sea animals??You've caught him multiple times either flirting or getting off to one. It was concerning even for you.
"From how many animals you've fucked, you might just turn from the ocean's 'Seaman' to 'Semen'." You joked which he did not find funny.
Maybe you messing with him could just be your way of getting along with him since you're the same with everybody else, it's just he has more flaws to poke fun of and he's sensitive about them.
Compatibility? 5%
A-Train
He thinks you're fucked up in the head.
Half of the shit that comes out of your mouth just has him reacting like in the GIF
Buuuuuut you're the one he always brings to the club because you always know ways to give the party life.
You've somehow even got on the wall of fame, a lovely portrait of you with your hands making out a heart.
Also, you know about his business with Compound V waaaaay before anyone else did. He's still grateful you didn't tell anyone.
Just like everyone else, you also enjoy messing with him except he's fast and constantly avoiding you.
"Hey A-Train, how much do you wanna bet that I can die faster than you?"
"Dude... seriously?"
You guys rarely get sent on missions together because you're always slowing him down, not basing off the fact he's fast but because you get easily sidetracked with other things.
"Alright, we're here now, how much C4 do we use?"
"Fuck math! Let's use all of 'em!"
You ended up detonating all of the C4 on you before he could object the idea, he was able to run out in time, your action nearly getting him killed while you ended up dead.
But it's fine you'll just grow back.
You know that race he has against Shockwave? You'd be at the VIP section standing near where Homelander and Queen Maeve is, waving your huge banner that has a picture of A-Train's face and yours pasted over a figure carrying the other in bridal style.
Compatibility? 55%
TRANSLUCENT
He makes people paranoid but you make him disgusted.
There was this one time he was bored so he snuck in your room to see what you were doing.
At first he was confused why you had so many cute plushies but then the more he explored your room, he realised your room is basically every collector's dream.
You even had a huge teddy bear in the corner of your dressing room.
The reason why he doesn't like to spy on you is because the last time he did, he saw you putting your hand in the blender, then proceeding to put your private part into it.
Never again, he thought, never again.
He doesn't need to witness you carry out your intrusive thoughts.
Surprising enough, you're close with his son, I'd like to think that after his death, you practically became the kid's godparent. Though you can be sort of a bad influence, leading up to how he is in Gen V.
You always tell him you hate kids but he thinks otherwise.
After all, he can read people well.
You guys like to pull pranks on each other since you guys like competing on who's more sneaky
There was this one time, you woke up to find your suit gone so you ended up walking around the building, completely naked and unfazed by people's stares.
It was when you walked around the corner that you found your suit worn by someone else, turns out it was Translucent under it.
"Why is it so fucking tight dude? How do you stay in this shit all day?"
"You get used to it"
Compatibility? 85%
BLACK NOIR
Lovers.
He doesn't mind your attitude because he actually can't say anything about it.
No seriously... he can't talk.
But hey he's got a good shoulder to cry on.
"I just... hffgh... I can't believe my album didn't surpass lady gaga's... She doesn't even know how to use Katanas like I do!" You'd let out a loud sob while he just stares at you for a while before placing a hand on your shoulder, patting you gently.
You know the scene where he's playing the piano for one of the company's party? You'll be laying down on top of it and singing in your usual overdramatic high pitched voice.
He finds your humour amusing so he always does this little head tilt like in the GIF when you say some weird shit while waiting for his response.
Since both of you are the only members of the Seven that wears a full body suit, obviously you had to try on his but since it was impossible to achieve that, you just had the company make a copy for you.
He'll be walking down the hallway doing his normal routine until he notises another person in his suit, the moment you speak and he realises its just you is when he let's his guard down.
"I just got some transplants done to my ass, that's why I look different"
You both are never sent on missions together 'cause you guys don't work well, pretty much nobody works well with him since he's the silent type.
Example, you two were hiding behind some crates ready to jump on the bad guys who were snucking in illegal drugs. He gestured for you to wait as he went to check again, only to turn back to see you gone.
"Marry Christmas motherfuckers!"
He heard your voice shout and he found you standing on top of the stacked crates, machine gun in hand and began shooting aimlessly.
He didn't even do anything but just watch until you ran out of bullets. However, multiple survived and began shooting at you so you ended running towards where he's hiding at.
"Yankee yankee!" You yelped.
You know the video of the two girls taking off their wigs to reveal that they're bald and they start bonding over it? I'd like to imagine that's you and Black Noir with the skin condition under the suits.
One more scenario I wanna add, you guys could be having a meeting but since you were bored and you always hated meetings, you'd draw a big heart on a piece of paper and show it to Black Noir from across the table. Surprisingly he'd draw a heart back to you.
You were overjoyed so you began to draw you and him doing it, doggy style. He stares at your doodle for a while before choosing to just focus on the meeting instead.
Compatibility? 90%
(This took a while cause I was on vacation)
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