#Without multiple nightmares
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I just realized one thing
Tallulah saw Binary Monster in her dream long before it's introduction
Tallulah had a prophetic dream
You know, who also had prophetic dreams?
Fundy.
Wilbur had some serious beef with Apollo, I see
#dream smp#qsmp#qsmp tallulah#fundy#wilbur soot#At least for her it was just once#Without multiple nightmares#She's like#What if#Fundy chose easy mode instead of hardcore mode during birth#i'm so happy for her#Never mess with Apollo
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thinking about the fact that siffrin didnt even REALIZE he knew an actual wish craft ritual when he did it (didnt even know wish craft EXISTED at that point) so whos to say theres not many many more rituals they know instinctively but dont remember? whos to say he wont accidentally make another wish using a ritual they dont realize they know? whos to say he wont wish something horrible into existence without even meaning to?
#talk tag#saw multiple siffrin ocd posts on my dash today and couldnt stop thinking abt this. absolute fuckign nightmare#isat#isat spoilers#isatposting#also think a lot abt the fact that their wood carving thing is wish craft. i think he would be really fucked up over that post canon#the fact that they apparently arent good at it at all with their own skill is like. would upset him but thats the LEAST of his worries#what else have they been doing thats wish craft without realizing it this whole time? what else? what else?
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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me on the sims wiki trying to explain the lore of sims 2 to a friend who never played sims 2 like "and in strangetown everywhere you look you think you're avoiding them, but then you look in the family tree and you see them again: the curious family"
#moonys ramble tag#shitpost#people talk about veronaville and like yeah it's a whole neighborhood with only three families#playing more than a gen or two there must be a nightmare#but nobody talks about how like half of strangetown is in some way related to the curious family#sometimes they're even doubly related (the alien sisters who are from the curious family but also pol's kids)#(and pol married... a curious)#though strangetown is the only neighborhood you can have aliens dating without a multiple pollination tech mod
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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in kayfabe american nightmare cody probably has the least evidence supporting any transfem headcanon, or any trans headcanon for that matters. but i know deep down if you feed cody estrogen she will be speaking in maoist standard english by week six so *shrugs* his pronouns are she/her and she's a white maoist <3
#we call it amerikkkan nightmare here ma'am#textposts#'hey erase isnt cody kind of weird about- yes. thats the point. her transitioning will make her better in some aspects#but cody is still cody and is not without flaws#also the thematic link transfem cody refusing her family's legacy not just as a wrestler but as a man who came from a bloodline of cubans#who fled communism#transfem cody is thematically meaningful in multiple ways. despite the canon character being horrifically cis
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#i forgot how hard if i had words is to write#cause i refuse to write the same scene twice so its like. who gets the big love confession. who gets the big reveals#which chapter gets which juicy gossip#and then how do you write the other one WITHOUT the big juicy gosspi#without it just feeling like theres a massive hole in the plot#writing tag#if i had words#its a nightmare. but i love it! but it is one of the horrors#anyway the last chapter is like 90% max having multiple internal crises at once and 10% him thinking about pegging so thats fun#charles' is 100% him trying to figure out how to woo that man and yapping about iit to everyone he knows
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it always feels so weird when vi am happy for multiple days in a row without something specific happening to make ve feel happy. is this how people are supposed to feel normally???
#like you're supposed to be happy for multiple days????#you can be happy without something good happening to make you happy or a special interest???#this is so weird#actually getting treatment for depression now lol#also graduating and getting away from vy old school#being able to feel happy for multiple days in a row without an immediate reason is so weird#thinking how far vi have come within two years#when vi literally felt like vi was going to die somehow before vi graduated bc vi was in so much fear all the time#to now where vi am actually happy and recovering and able to express vyself and actually be a person and not have to make vyself disappear#also the nightmares are less frequent now too especially since they no longer have power over ve since vi graduated#it gets better#vi was able to make it through and survive and vi am so proud of vy younger self#actually knowing what vi want is hard tho after so many years of suppressing vyself#don't rb#harbor's posts
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Category 5 "Locked out of govt offices bc I was exactly 4 minutes late" event
#I've been trying to get all the paperwork I need to get officially hired THIS WHOLE MONTH!!!!#MAKE IT STOP!!!#(rly glad* to have a real full-time with which we can afford a bike so we can move around town without paying multiple appendages per trip-#but DAMN....)#*terrfied also ofc bc this implies working actual 9-to-6 hourd which is???? sometimes that's my SLEEP SCHEDULE#like BITCH???????#also i have to Be At The Office a couple times per week & they absolutely require formal clothing and a faceshield to get thru the door ._.#like ok queen ty for 'taking covid seriously' or whatever#but letting me work from home fulltime like we'd done all of last year would be safer.... lol#and also not a sensory nightmare which causes me to work at 0.5% normal speed#pandemic aside THE CLOTHES!!! how am i gonna muster enough brain-RAM to tank shitty stiff office attire (WHICH I DON'T OWN CURRENTLY BTW-#partner says their dad can help w that but it's going to be a) humiliating and b) prolly a rushed fastfashion pick & thus illfitting as FUQ#) and ALSO FUNCTION at the same time ?#gonna be tbh creaturing amongst my coworkers in the flesh for the 1st time#sure hope I can get a good grade in those soshe inties (social interactions)..........#HRAAAGHFJRHRHRHDHGDGG#viitalks
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Assuming I lived through the childhood asthma and being pretty much fucking blind without glasses, I'd die of a hangnail at age 21!
...Which I know, because a hangnail got dangerously infected and put me in the hospital when I was 21. Like if I'd waited another day to go to ER, they would have been treating me for sepsis. Amputation was very much on the table if the IV antibiotics hadn't worked, and even years later I still routinely contemplate the fact that after all the dumb shit I've done in my life, the first thing that genuinely put my life in immediate danger was a fucking hangnail. Antibiotics are truly amazing, and infected wounds are way more dangerous than most people think.
*this is just about having medical needs that would have meant death without modern medicine, so no ‘I’d probably die from not being able to distinguish the blur as a lion’ we have a healthy caveman squad who cares for each other, we just also dont have, yknow, penicilin. etcetera.
pls reblog for sample size etc
follow for more occasional useless polls :)
#my older sibling probably would've died very young tho#they were in the ICU for awhile after they were born tho idk what the complications were exactly#and their belly button was such an aggressive outie they needed surgery as a toddler because it was pulling their intestines out?#again i'm not clear on the details but the medical issues were probably very upsetting for two new parents#meanwhile i practically fell out totally fine and mom hated having to spend 24 hours in the hospital with me afterwards#bcause it was a brutal heatwave there was no AC and the hospital showers werent working#then all i had was colic but apparently it meant i wore myself out screaming all day and slept through the night. the parents loved it#the sibling was a really hard baby but then smooth sailing from there#meanwhile i was an easy baby and then such a nightmare they had to get multiple parenting help books lmaooo#my favourite is the one thats just 'how to accommodate your autistic child without having to admit your kid is autistic'#the book NEVER said autism it was just a help book for raising 'spirited' children. extremely funny
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I hate it when actors talk about an animal they had to work with on set and it’s obvious they were not patient with the animal at all. You especially see this with non cat people who had to work with cats and are like “Working with that cat was the bane of my existence, never on cue, scratched me once, always seemed afraid of me.” Like yeah, she’s a cat. She could probably sense you hated her. It’s hard enough to be an animal in the entertainment industry without some guy being a dick to you. Are you that uncharitable with human costars (and particularly child actors) or do you just hate animals?
Conversely, it’s so heartwarming when an actor speaks positively about an animal they worked with and/or there are behind the scenes stories of the crew genuinely trying to make the animal comfortable and giving them grace.
One of my favorite examples of this is Mad Max 2 (1981) which was made on a budget of $4.5 million AUD (about $13.5 USD in today’s money). They ended up casting a dog from the pound that was scheduled to be put down and by all accounts the dog was a nightmare to work with. But most of the cast and crew loved him. The dog’s name was Dog so his character’s name was also Dog. He was difficult to train but super food motivated so they kept writing dog food into scenes for him. He kept freaking out on set and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Eventually they realized part of the reason he kept acting out was because he was terrified of the sound of cars and motorcycles so they had special doggy earplugs made. His character was supposed to be aggressive but real Dog was very affectionate and could not be made to behave aggressively so they had to use selective editing to make him seem more menacing. When filming was done multiple crew members wanted to adopt him because he was such a good bad boy. He was adopted by one of the stuntwomen and got to live out the rest of his life doing actual blue heeler things. That was his only film role.
#I think I remember Mel Gibson complaining about him#which makes sense because Mel Gibson is a dickhead#and the dog in the first movie didn’t like him either#but everybody else was like ‘yeah he’s a neurotic high maintenance shelter dog whatever. we like him anyway’
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Actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel, without context:
A character has ominous nightmares and attributes them to eating too much paprika
Dracula first appears wearing a fake beard
The person he was trying to fool with the fake beard immediately realizes Dracula and Beard Guy are the same man, due to both having really firm handshakes
We are told parrots are immortal unless fatally wounded
A Texan cowboy opens fire on a bat flitting around a window, and lodges a bullet in the wall of an occupied room
A woman is called a polyandrist for receiving blood transfusions from multiple men
An incorrectly addressed telegram leads to two deaths, multiple druggings, and several children being assaulted
Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, takes a lovely trip to the zoo and freaks out the animals so badly that he gets mentioned in a newspaper article
The one character who knows anything about vampires spends a good two-thirds of the book refusing to talk about vampires
Dracula went to Satan's Witchcraft Academy and somehow this is only brought up in two throwaway lines
A character gets stuck inside a circle of communion wafer crumbs
A major plot point of the book is Dracula (who was said to be a brilliant scholar and has the strength of twenty mortal men) realizing he can move boxes without human help
Someone is referred to as "manifestly a prig of the first water"
Two characters have a hobby of reading train schedules
A hospital lets a mental patient escape to see what will happen
A character starts vomiting up feathers from eating whole birds
A doctor refuses to give a medical diagnosis and instead makes a speech about growing corn
Dracula impersonates another character just by wearing the same clothes, despite being taller and visibly much older. This deception is successful.
A character "cleans" a room by eating all the insects in it
Suddenly: rats. Thousands of them.
The heroes progress in their efforts through "the wonderful power of money," i.e., bribery
Dracula has three other vampires in his castle. Their relation to him is never explained, nor are any of them named.
A character insists his salvation depends on having a pet cat
Dracula is thwarted by flowers on more than one occasion
A group of vampires stand in the hall outside a man's bedroom, talking loudly about their plans to eat him. When he comes to the door to confront them, they run away laughing
Dracula wears an unfashionable hat and gets roasted for it
A group of Romanians encounter a disheveled, shouting man and, "seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they [give] him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached."
A boat crashes due to Dracula having the munchies
A wolf is thrown through a window and immediately runs off, confused and covered in glass
Dracula makes a bed
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whenever we go through a particularly rough patch, there always seems to be this point shortly afterwards once we start trying to recover and get our shit together where it's really hard to tell how well we're doing because in some ways it looks like we're doing way better but in others it looks like we're doing really badly.
usually it's some combination of being more organised and doing better at keeping up with chores and catching up with stuff we'd been struggling to keep on top of, and even doing a lot better at using various coping mechanisms, but then also getting really fucking depressed and having flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks and random breakdowns and more (dissociative) seizures than usual and just generally having symptoms that make it seem like our mental health is much worse.
like obviously during the rough patch we also have a fuckload of the same symptoms because of our mental health being shit, but during that it's constant and we can't keep up with basic shit and it's clear that we're struggling, whereas in the weird period afterwards we look like we're doing great from an outside perspective and seem to flip back and forth between feeling like we're doing great and feeling like the world is ending.
I'm guessing it's something to do with how brains process stuff because if you go through something traumatic that's not just gonna go away once it's over, but good god I would like it to be easier.
anyway we're currently in that weird recovery period and we also have just over a month before we hit a wall of anniversaries of stuff that always fucks us up and that usually comes with us having to work on processing shit and like, I'll put in the work to process and deal with that, but god I hate how much work it actually is just to try and manage our mental health and I hate that I spent all summer going "I am being actively traumatised and can't do anything about it and I'm gonna have to deal with processing all of this later" and sure enough now I'm having to deal with processing it
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I keep wondering why I feel so bad and why I'm having nightmares about medical procedures#(usually either doctors doing stuff to us without our consent and/or procedures going wrong in horrifying ways)#and then other alters have to remind me that we did in fact spend 3 months having to deal with a load of medical stuff#that included us trying to deal with some of our worst triggers and us not being given adequate treatment for certain stuff#(mostly the dental abscesses that went untreated for over a month despite us mentioning the severe pain to multiple people)#and having reactions to meds that fucked us up so bad we were scared it would kill us#and waking up in so much pain we couldn't fucking move on an almost daily basis#plus there's just been a lot of other stuff going on that's unrelated to all this that we did not get to process as it was happening#and will probably have to deal with those emotions randomly coming up later instead#and now we've thrown ourselves into trying to get our life back together and doing everything we reasonably can to help ourselves#because the minute we're out of the situation and able to focus on recovering we just kind of throw ourselves head first into it#that's not to say we weren't doing everything we could to manage our mental health during the situation#but ''everything you can do'' is a hell of a lot less when you're in that much pain
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you guys have it so easy…
#the horrors#you don’t have to work a job with your main trigger#I may be recovered from some of the worst of it but I’m still stuck with it#imagine your biggest fears#all fucking day#without stop#imagine having to feel your worst sensory nightmares all day#multiple times a week#this is not good for me#but I love you so I have to do it#I love so hard I destroy myself#and abandon all of my self needs#I’m only surviving
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I want to know if my nightmares are strange or not by comparison. BTW I am a lucid dreamer.
An orangutan chasing me through a building and when I wanted to shower with the rest there was a spider as big as I was on the curtain.
Can't remember this one well but I was actually enjoying the puzzle solving aspect of it even if there was lots of gory parts but the actual scary part of it was a witch chasing me. she was sweaty, matted crazy hair and nails about 2 meters long never cleaned and you could see various stains on her. The chase happens after I open a safe and when I saw her I bolted. Funniest part was that a kitsune charged over to me already and I basically ignored it.
Last one I can't really explain as it started out normal, went to school and flirted with some guys. Something just kept telling me to wake up. It started after I flirted with a ginger and the longer it went on, the stronger the feeling was. My consciousness eventually decided that no matter what happens to me it won't be a big enough shock so it targeted my best friend. She became pregnant and was later run over by a truck. I couldn't sleep after that as I kept feeling the thing keeping an eye on me. I wonder if it chose a ginger is because I am most attracted to them. I feel like it didn't originally look like that.
#tw nightmares#Nightmare#nightmare#Dreams#I literally dreamed about a giant snake chasing me multiple times and all I thought was how fun#I even dreamt about raptors trying to kill me#It was fun trying to escape#I keep getting comments on how strange my dreams are#almost forgot#I even dreamed about something taking me away in the dark#Even after all the precautions it was like that new boogeyman movies#Where all the lights went out or was destroyed by it#After I actually moved out of my old house I didn't have another nightmare#So it's been 6 years without nightmares but still fun dreams#lucid dreaming#I wanted to add something but I forgot#I was squished by my pup
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Reasons Discord's New Mobile Layout Update is Bad
The reply function is redundant, as most people are used to just holding down and tapping the reply option at the top. If they're going to change it, they shouldn't have gotten rid of the member list for this functionally bad option. It also doesnt line up with any other platform in terms of swipe direction.
The member list is gone from easy viewing
It doesnt auto open your last group chat/DM making multiple simultaneous conversations far more difficult and longer
It's already broken my app once (Locked all channels including other servers' to one channel. I could not access anything except that and my DMs.)
You can not see images that have been pinned in the pins tab.
The search function was fine before. Where did your before, during and after date search go??
All of Discord's individuality is disappearing.
Getting used to a mobile format actually impedes usage of the desktop format and likely discourages people from multiplatforming discord because theyre so used to the "intuitiveness" of the new "tailored for mobile" experience
There is no way to CHANGE IT BACK. This is like Tumblr rolling out Tumblr Live without any Disable button At All.
Why are they marketing midnight mode as Something fucking ENTIRELY new??? It has always been a feature on Android as the AMOLED theme???????
DARK MODE IS NO LONGER LOW CONTRAST AND DISCORD IS DEVOLVING INTO AN ACCESSIBILITY NIGHTMARE
Disable swipe-to-reply by activating full-screen Launchpad in Advanced Settings
Discord’s new layout is apparently permanent. Keep sending feedback and rating it one star on all appstores; if you get redirected to the advice article, double tap gove feedback.
If you, too, dislike the theme, head to settings (you can double tap your account picture) and go to Appearance, scroll to New Layout and Send Feedback.
Overall, what they've done is disorientate every single current user on discord, and you cannot avoid it unless you've not updated to the latest discord because this is not an update. It is a feature that has already been on the latest update and is being slowly rolled out, like Tumblr Polls.
Good Luck, and may we send as much feedback as possible and have them make it optional or at the least, revert it. I've already sent in at least seven complaints to discord, commented on their instagram post about the layout and I'm about one star review it on google play and app store.
This isnt just the appearance and vibes being off like the new (ish) app icon, this is a matter of functionality.
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