gay-jesus-probably

[gay-jesus-probably]

there are no hard rules for human interaction but honestly i think everyone online would benefit hugely from operating under the assumption that, unless you have been given a specific reason to think otherwise in discrete instances, internet strangers do not want to be approached with:

your trauma, illnesses, or deep-rooted self worth issues

any come-ons or sexual content

over-familiar playful rudeness

information about your dnd characters/ocs

disagreements with their harmless subjective opinions

if it is your first time speaking with someone i can not highly enough recommend that these do not be your opening topics

[gay-jesus-probably]

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

[gay-jesus-probably]

NFL referees announced Monday they had started a new tip line to which penalties could be reported, part of an effort to streamline the video review process and provide an opportunity for fans to help with the enforcement of rules. “Starting today, we will have a dedicated team of volunteers standing by to collect any information you may have about chop blocks, pass interference, or a delay of game,” said referee Brad Hussey, emphasizing that tips would remain anonymous to protect the identity of those who witness and report potential game-changing infractions such as unnecessary roughness or unsportsmanlike conduct.

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[gay-jesus-probably]

[gay-jesus-probably]

you ever like go to make a post on here but as you’re typing suddenly every single possible misinterpretation and nitpicking argument that can and will be made on it flashes before your eyes and ur like ok nvm close post

[gay-jesus-probably]

[gay-jesus-probably]

When your car dash says it has a web browser you know I have to see if I can read fanfics 😏😂

[gay-jesus-probably]

[gay-jesus-probably]

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

[gay-jesus-probably]

As a farmer.. homie thinking he is hot shit for hauling ONE BALE is so fucking funny let me put a rack on the back of my 02 dodge and i can haul fuckin 10 bales without needing the headers

[gay-jesus-probably]

[gay-jesus-probably]

luigi mangione, the SUSPECTED (innocent until proven guilty) united healthcare shooter, has been charged with terrorism. that’s right. a man who supposedly shot ONE SINGLE PERSON is being charged with terrorism. because in america, billionaires lives matter enough that a SINGLE rich man’s death is considered a terrorist act against this country. think about that.

[gay-jesus-probably]

when i was in college, i was high. the sentence usually ends there but one specific time when i was high, i wandered into a gym on campus with some friends. we saw 4 guys in skinny jeans playing basketball and we said hello. they asked if we were going to the show later tonight and we were like "uhhh no probably not, we just wanted to play some basketball" and they were like "oh cool, yeah let's play"

so i'm not like, an athlete in any sense of the word. neither were my friends. but these guys were clowns on the court—and i don't mean harlem globetrotters. i'm talking pt barnum. these guys could not ball. they all had boots on and one of em was wearing a tight leather jacket. so i think we won purely because we were wearing leisurewear. my friend makes this joke about how our liberal arts college is undefeated in pickup basketball and none of them laughed. we played to 21 points, said goodbye, and laughed at dinner about those weird guys

those weird guys were Kings of Leon and they were playing a show in on campus that night for some reason. i heard their set in the far distance, muffled through the window of my dorm room as i was playing Animal Crossing

that was 2014 and it's been downhill ever since for the band

i am what happened to Kings of Leon

[gay-jesus-probably]

concept:

supervillain × henchman with the twist that the supervillain is a sort of cartoon foppish dramatic gay villain with gonzo schemes and no bodycount. and the henchman is secretly a grimdark ultrapowerful Apex Predator supervilllain who came to Stake Out the competition. got mistaken for a henchman and found this so fucking funny hes just 100% committed to the bit.

hes carrying around boxes of fucking Acme Corporation sticks of dynamite. hes dressing in the matching stylish outfit. hes managing the other henchmen to execute gonzo schemes flawlessly. genuinely the most fun hes ever had in his life

his dumbass gay boss has literally no idea the lengths he is going to behind the scenes to make sure nobody interferes with any of this shit.

(apex supervillain, in his Supervillain Disguise. homoerotically and terrifyingly flirt/threatens flamboyant supervillain. smash cut to this poor man lying face down on a couch unpacking this with the very attentive henchman)

("hes going to eat me maybe????? but GOD that was the HOTTEST fucking thing thats ever happened to me. but i might DIE?? do u think he LIKES me...."

henchman: i think he does :3)

the ruse comes out when someone who the apex supervillain didnt catch comes to ACTUALLY challenge/harm his gay boss in public and apex supervillain is like. yeah no we're not doing this. time for the power of unfathomable violence.

gay supervillain promptly has a FULL MELTDOWN. oh my god the blood. and also. "you LIED TO ME???"

apex supervillain, apologetically: "I was waiting to see if you'd ever figure it out yourself. And the longer it went the funnier it got."

gay supervillain: "I TRUSTED you!! you were my BEST HENCHMAN"

apex supervillain: aw. past tense?

[gay-jesus-probably]

yeah i don't have an explanation for this one

[gay-jesus-probably]

WHY ARE YOU MARKED RED ON SHINIGAMI, WTF DID U DO

i cant even post moths anymore. because of woke

[gay-jesus-probably]