#Why I Use Amazon Ads

[mnsgranth]

How To Add Amazon Ads For Your WordPress Site?

Amazon Ads ऑनलाइन पैसे कमाने का एक शानदार तरीका हो सकते हैं। साथ ही, अन्य विज्ञापन नेटवर्क की तुलना में उनके पास तेज़ और सरल अप्रूवल प्रक्रिया है।

क्या आप अपने वर्डप्रेस साइट पर Amazon Ads जोड़ना चाहते हैं? ।मुख पृष्ठ।।पोस्ट।।Amazon Ads For Your WordPress Site। Amazon Ads For Your WordPress Site? Amazon Ads ऑनलाइन पैसे कमाने का एक शानदार तरीका हो सकते हैं। साथ ही, अन्य विज्ञापन नेटवर्क की तुलना में उनके पास तेज़ और सरल अप्रूवल प्रक्रिया है। इस लेख में, हम आपको दिखाएंगे कि कदम दर कदम आप अपनी वर्डप्रेस साइट पर अमेज़न विज्ञापनों को कैसे…

[moeblob]

A lil guy !

[tenrose]

I honestly can't get behind the "throw a perfectly edible food on a famous art piece appreciated" as an "ecological" revendication. In my book, people destroying (or trying to) pieces of art are never good people, no matter if they say it's for a good cause.

If you want to denounce the destructive nature of capitalism go throw some stones at a bank ffs 😤

[avaantares]

Fanfiction Authors: HEADS UP

(Non-authors, please RB to signal boost to your author friends!)

An astute reader informed me this morning that one of my fics (Children of the Future Age) had been pirated and was being sold as a novel on Amazon:

(And they weren't even creative with their cover design. If you're going to pirate something that I spent a full year of my life writing, at least give me a pretty screenshot to brag about later. Seriously.)

I promptly filed a DMCA complaint to have it removed, but I checked out the company that put it up -- Plush Books -- and it looks like A LOT of their books are pirated fic. They are by no means the only ones doing this, either -- the fact that """publishers""" can download stories from AO3 in ebook format and then reupload them to Amazon in just a few clicks makes fic piracy a common problem. There are a whole host of reasons why letting this continue is bad -- including actual legal risk to fanfiction archives -- but basically:

IF YOU ARE A FANFIC AUTHOR WITH LONG AND/OR POPULAR WORKS, PLEASE CHECK AMAZON TO SEE IF YOUR STORIES HAVE BEEN PIRATED.

You can search for your fics by title, or by text from the description (which is often just copied wholesale from AO3 as well). If you find that someone has stolen your work and is selling it as their own, you can lodge a DMCA complaint (Amazon.com/USA site; other countries have different systems). If you haven't done this before, it's easy! Here's a tutorial:

HOW TO FILE A COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT FOR STOLEN WORK ON AMAZON.COM:

First, go to this form. You'll need to be signed into your Amazon account.

Select the radio buttons/dropdown options (shown below) to indicate that you are the legal Rights Owner, you have a copyright concern, and it is about a pirated product.

Enter the name of your story in the Name of Brand field.

In the Link to the Copyrighted Work box, enter a link to the story on AO3 or whatever site your work is posted on.

In the Additional Information box, explain that you are the author of the work and it is being sold without your permission. That's all you really need. If you want, you can include additional information that might be helpful in establishing the validity of your claim, but you don't have to go into great detail. You can simply write something like this:

I am the author of this work, which is being sold by [publisher] without my permission. I originally published this story in [date/year] on [name of site], and have provided a link to the original above. On request, I can provide documentation proving that I am the owner of the account that originally posted this story.

In the ASIN/ISBN-10 field, copy and paste the ID number from the pirated copy's URL. You'll find this ten-digit number in the Amazon URL after the word "product," as in the screenshot below. (If the URL extends beyond this number, you can ignore everything from the question mark on.) Once this number has been added, Amazon will pull the product information automatically and add it to the complaint form, so you can check the listing title and make sure it's correct.

Finally, add your contact information to the relevant fields, check the "I have read and accept the statements" box, and then click Submit. You should receive an email confirmation that Amazon has received the form.

Please share this information with your writer friends, keep an eye out for/report pirated works, and help us keep fanfiction free and legally protected!

NOTE: All of the above also applies to Amazon products featuring stolen artwork, etc., so fan artists should check too!

[dduane]

I just received a copy of a book I've been very much looking forward to by a favorite author, but the quality of the book itself is... not great. Cheap paper, weak binding, even a weird illustration of the main character on the cover that I'm having trouble believing the author approved. Obviously, I don't want to leave a bad review on Amazon or GoodReads or anywhere, as I'm 100% certain the content is as excellent as her other work. But how can I best let the publisher (Baen) know I'm disappointed without threatening to never buy her books again? Because, well, if this is the only option, I'm gonna keep buying them even in my disappointment.

Well, the first thing I thought when I read this was "Wow, I'm really glad I don't have anything in print from Baen at the moment except a couple of anthologized short stories." :)

As for the rest of it, let's take it point by point.

Adding a cut here, because this will run a bit long. Caution: contains auctorial bitching and moaning, painful illustrations of cases in point, and brief advice on how to complain most effectively. (Also links to paintings of cats.)

Cheap paper: This has been an accurate complaint since well before COVID—and it's often been worse since, with supply chain issues also being involved. That said: one way publishers routinely save money on printing books, especially the bigger ones, is by going for thinner/cheaper paper. I remember one of our UK editors going on at great length and with huge annoyance—during one of those late-night convention-bar bitch sessions—over how the only way they could get some really good books published (because Upstairs insisted on reducing the per-copy production costs) was by reducing the paper quality to the point where you could nearly read through it. Sacrificing decent text size(s) also became part of this. Nobody in editorial was happy about the result: but there wasn't much they could do.

Bad bindings: Similar problem. Sewn bindings used to be a thing in paperbacks... but not any more: not for a good while, now. These days, it's all glue. Even hardcovers are showing up glued rather than sewn. Don't get me started. :/ (This is why I so treasure some of the oldest paperbacks I've acquired, which are actually sewn.)

Crap covers: I've had my share of these—though my share of some really good ones, too. And one of the endless frustrations of traditional publishing is that the writer routinely has little or even no influence over what the cover will look like... let alone how much will be spent on it, or (an often-related issue) how good the execution will be.

There are of course exceptions. If you're working at the, well, @neil-gaiman -esque level or similar in publishing, a lot more attention is going to be paid to your thoughts. You may even be able to get "cover veto" written into your contracts, so that if you disapprove, changes will get made. But without actual contractual stipulations, the writer has zero legal recourse or way to withhold approval. (And I bet even Neil has some horror stories.)

The normal workflow looks like this. After a book's purchased, its editor and the art director discuss what it's about and what the cover should look like. The art director then hires an artist and tells them what to do. After that, the artist executes their vision and gets paid. It is incredibly rare for a writer to have any significant input into this process. And as to whether or not they approve of the final result, well... the publisher mostly just shrugs and goes back to eyeing the bottom line, muttering "Who told them they get a vote?"

Now, I've been seriously lucky to occasionally be an exception in this regard. In particular, my editors at Harcourt (when Jane Yolen and Michael Stearns were editing Harcourt's Magic Carpet YA imprint) would ask me what I thought would be a good idea for the next Young Wizards cover, and I'd think about it a bit and send them back a paragraph or so about some core scene. They'd then talk to their art director, and after that send their notes and mine to Cliff Nielsen (who started doing the covers for the hardcover and mass-market paperback editions of the series in the mid-90s) or to Greg Swearingen (who was the artist on the digest-format editions). And the results, by and large, were pretty good. ...I also think affectionately of the UK artist Mick Posen, who insisted on seeing pictures of our cats before painting the covers for the Hodder editions of The Book of Night with Moon and On Her Majesty's Wizardly Service (the UK title for To Visit The Queen).

But this kind of treatment is a courtesy—not even vaguely suggested in the books' contracts, and very much the exception to the rule. And for every writer who's midlist, there are times when the luck runs out. For example: one time I wrote a book that was an AU-Earth-near-future fantasy police procedural, thematically pretty dark—dealing with issues of abuse of megacorporate power, institutionalized bigotry, and (explicitly) attempted genocide. And the cover, done by an artist who's a good friend and some of whose fabulous art hangs in our house, came out looking like this. It was... let's just say "not ideally representative."

So I was glad, when my local workflow allowed it, to recover the current, revised version of the book with something at least a little more apropos. But the original cover's not the artist's fault. He did what the art director told him... as a cover artist must do to get paid, and (ideally) to get hired again. At present, that's how the system works.

...So. You've got a badly-built and -presented book on your hands. How best to make your feelings known in some way that might make a difference down the line? (As you make it plain that you'll keep buying this author's books this way if you must.)

First of all: when (as part of my psych nursing training) we were taught how to complain most effectively, we were told that the first and most basic rule of the art is this:

Only Complain To Someone Who Can Actually Do Something About Your Problem

So I salute your desire not to waste your time taking the issue to the reviews on Amazon, or the pages of Goodreads... because they can't do anything. The odds that anyone from production at Baen is reading the comments there strike me as... well, not infinitesimally small, not being hit-by-a-meteorite-while-in-the-shopping-center-parking-lot small... but really low.

So: write to corporate.

In your place I would go online and rummage around a bit to find out who's on record as the publisher at Baen. I would then write them a letter on paper. And I would lay out the problem pretty much as you laid it out up at the top.

The tone I think I'd choose would be the more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger approach. I'd say, "I write to comment about your recently published book by [X Writer], whose work I love. I have to say, though, that I don't think the cover on [X Book] is terribly representative of the quality of the prose inside. And also, the construction and production quality of the book itself was a disappointment to me because [here spell out why].

"I'd really like to see [X. Writer's] books succeed with you, and I'd like to buy more of them without wondering whether I was going to be disappointed again. But if this is typical of how they're being produced, I'd also be concerned that the state of these books is setting up a situation in which the author's sales will be damaged, and you would stop publishing them... which would really be a shame. Whereas on the other hand, better production quality could keep previous purchasers coming back and buying, not only more books by this author, but books by others whom you publish."

This phrasing, as you'll have seen, walks a bit wide around the issue of your further purchases, while directing attention toward the bottom line... which will routinely be what the publisher's looking at from day to day. And—being, one has to hope, in possession of the wider picture as regards what's going on with their production costs—maybe they can actually do something about it.

Anyway, nothing ventured, nothing gained, yeah? It's worth a try. All you can do is hope for the best.

And finally: please know that I admire your commitment to the author: whoever she is, she's lucky to have you. It's a terrific thing to have readers who'll willing to spend the time to hunt you down, and who're willing not to judge a book by its cover. :)

[x-brik-x]

I'm seeing a lot of people say that punk fashion is expensive and inaccessible, which is very wrong. here is a list of some ways you can make punk fashion easier, cheaper and more accessible for you, since that's... kinda the whole point.

others are encouraged to add onto this!! (just don't recommend corporations like amazon. not cool.)

1. patches!! you don't need to buy them. DIY patches are not ugly or boring. in fact, they are encouraged here!! DIY, in my opinion, is always the best thing to do when it is an option and is safe to do so.

2. speaking of DIY, spikes!! you can make them!!

cut the top and bottom off of an empty can. cut down the middle of the cylinder and flatten it, so it's just a flat rectangle of metal.

cut out a shape that is kind of a third of a circle, but around 3/4 of the curved edge is taken up by triangle shapes. (I'm not very good at describing, so here's a badly drawn picture)

roll it into a cone, leaving the 4 triangles sticking out at the bottom. this bit is optional, but you can fill it with hot glue to make it more sturdy, just be careful touching the hot metal. I tend to hold the cone by one of the triangles with a bit of fabric wrapped around my fingers for this bit. cut 4 small holes in your fabric in this kind of shape:

and put the spiky bits of triangle through the holes. fold the triangles in on themselves to secure the spike in place. boom. spike obtained. this is one I made and attached to a little piece of fabric to test this method out:

3. battle vests!! (like the base jackets). the best places to buy these are charity shops and second hand websites in my opinion, but if anyone else knows any better options, please reblog with those!!

a good trick I find works well on eBay is to filter search results to your country (or state? can you do that in the US? idk) so that a: fast delivery because local, and b: all the sellers of everything that shows up are in YOUR TIME ZONE.

why is this important? when people sell something for really cheap, it goes FAST. check eBay at like, 2am or something. all the scalpers in your area are asleep. grab the cheap stuff while they can't.

4. sewing!! want patches, but can't sew for whatever reason? I've heard of a lot of people with joint conditions like arthritis complain about the inaccessibility of patch stuff, and that does sound extremely annoying, however:

safety pins!! while they are still a little fiddly, they're much less work so you don't have to fiddle about for long. if you can, you could even ask a friend to help, since it doesn't take long at all I'm sure someone will be willing to help out!! (I know I would, but that's just me, and I love this kind of thing). safety pins on clothes are also widely considered to be a symbol of solidarity, so if anything, you're adding some extra love and meaning to your patch pants/battle jacket.

if that's still too fiddly, fabric glue is always an option. unfortunately this means you won't be able to remove/reposition patches, at least without leaving a massive patch of residue, but if you're ok with that then fabric glue is probably your best bet.

for people who prefer sewing: as for where to get the thread, I've heard a lot of people recommending dental floss, as it's apparently much cheaper and works just as well. I haven't tried this myself so can't confirm that, but I thought I'd share it regardless.

5. where to get fabric!! old clothes. rip em up. you don't need any kind of fancy fabric from the craft store. my patches are made of old jeans that I grew out of.

don't have any old clothes and you don't want to waste any good ones? I'm not sure about other countries, but in the UK, as long as you're not on private property (trespassing), dumpster diving is perfectly legal.

I definitely ;) do NOT encourage ;) trespassing rich people's land ;) to steal from their dumpsters ;)

or tbh it doesn't matter too much how rich the person is, since it's all going to landfill anyway. if it's in the bin, it's free game, but you didn't hear that from me. ;)

please add onto this where you can!! and if I missed something or got anything wrong, add that on too!!

[techalphanews]

Why is Amazon Alexa giving me ads every time I ask a question?

Why is Amazon Alexa giving me ads every time I ask a question?

USERS are dissatisfied with the inconvenient advertisements that are provided by Amazon’s Alexa.It appears that whenever an Amazon user attempts to ask Alexa Read Full Text

[thefirsthogokage]

Fuck AMPTP and the bullshit going on. I'm tired, might not do this well:

(link to article in above picture) From The Article

Receiving positive feedback from Wall Street since the WGA went on strike May 2, Warner Bros Discovery, Apple, Netflix, Amazon, Disney, Paramount and others have become determined to “break the WGA,” as one studio exec blatantly put it.

To do so, the studios and the AMPTP believe that by October most writers will be running out of money after five months on the picket lines and no work.

“The endgame is to allow things to drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses,” a studio executive told Deadline. Acknowledging the cold-as-ice approach, several other sources reiterated the statement. One insider called it “a cruel but necessary evil.”

The studios and streamers’ next think financially strapped writers would go to WGA leadership and demand they restart talks before what could be a very cold Christmas. In that context, the studios and streamers feel they would be in a position to dictate most of the terms of any possible deal.

[Image IDs: Twitter thread by David Slack posted July 12th, 2023 that reads in totality:

And right on cue, here’s the inevitable Deadline article claiming that the AMPTP and their CEO bosses are ready to wait us out and let us “go broke.”

They’re not. They can’t. This studio propaganda, and here’s why.

In the increasingly mega-merged and hedgefundified Hollywood, these companies live or die on their quarterly earnings reports. It only takes one bad quarter for their stock price to plunge, putting the company and the CEO’s job in jeopardy.

But their stock prices are holding steady, right? Right. For now. Because our industry is a pipeline that starts with writers. The TV and movies they’re releasing now are shows we started making for them 4-12 quarters ago. But what happens when that pipeline runs dry?

What happens is they run out of product. No new shows in streaming to drive and sustain subscribers. No new shows in broadcast and ad-supported to bring in ad revenue.

No shows, no money.

No money, bad earnings report.

Bad earnings report, bye-bye stock price. Bye-bye CEO.

After 70+ days with no writers to create their product for them, the pipeline is running dry.

Their stock price isn’t tanking yet. But if they don’t make a deal with us, it will.

And they know it.

If they make a deal soon, they might be able to weather it. Stretch out releases. Rush some new stuff through.

But the longer they keep us out, the longer that pipeline runs dry, the more unavoidable a catastrophic dip in new high-quality shows becomes.

And they know it.

So yeah, the studios are planting articles in the trades that make it sound like they’re so determined not to pay us the 0.02% of company revenues we’re asking for that they’re willing to hold out forever.

Bullshit.

I’m sure the AMPTP bosses would love to break our union. But they love their jobs more. They love money more. They can’t make that money without us.

And they know it.

Ignore the trades, walk the line, stand together, and win. #WGAStrong

/End ID]

Bonus: John Rogers' Reaction

[Image ID: A tweet from John Rogers that he posted July 12th, 2023 that reads:

I was trying to be cool and professional about this strike, but this AMPTP “we want to drive them to homelessness” shit means I’m going to be dug in at WB Gate 4 like Hiroo Onada. They’re gonna have to send @ellenstutzman with a bullhorn to order me out of the bushes.

The second image is Ellen Stutzman's Twitter bio that says:

Cheif Negotiator for WGA MBA, Assistant Executive Director, Writers Guild of America, West; Cornell ILR and UCLA Anderson alum. Views are my own.

/End ID]

EDIT: Please see the update on this HERE

[tiajk]

Amazon strawhat reader

Warnings; fem reader!, everyone crushing on reader if you squint, everyone loves themselves amazon reader, added robin brook franky and jimbei becuase why not even though i haven’t watched that far so if i get something wrong pls tell me, reader can do a lot of stuff

A/N: none!

masterlist. part 2

— luffy would actually love you without a single fucking doubt he was practically jumping up and down asking you to join his crew if you said no he would kidnap you but who could say no to him and his cute face

— luffy uses you as a climbing tool he wants to see something up high and can’t see his going to you asking for uppies and you gladly give them to him

— zoro didn’t want to admit but he liked you on the crew becuase your strong he wants to challenge you and he admires your strength but he’s lowkey scared of you if your taller than him

— let this man see your sword he will literally not want to let it go and he’ll be so honored that you let him even hold it if you let him use it in battle if he lost one of his he’ll be so fucking happy and blushy

— sanji swoons over every women ( and man) but a muscular tall woman that’s race is literally goddess warriors this man is on the floor for you at your every beck and call

— he gets carried by you a lot he tries to carry you but you just carry him and he gets all blushy

— nami thinks that’s your so fucking cool she would 100% want to sun bathe with you all the time

— she also wants to hear about how the stories that your people have made over the years

— ussop is shaking the first time he meets you

— when there’s a fight he hides behind you and says that your under his control when you go along with it makes him very happy that’s why your his favorite

— chopper thinks it’s so cool that your on the crew when you tell him about the animals that your mother told you when you where growing up it makes him feel less like a monster and he does his cute little dance thing

— if you ever in battle and seriously injured and don’t go to him because your stubborn best believe he’s shape shifting and throwing you over his shoulder so you can get treated correctly (you could overpower him but you’ll let him win this one)

— robin has definitely heard of amazons but never seen one before in real life

— you guys will have little reading dates and she loves when you give her books from your home because there so interesting and fascinating

— Franky thinks your SUPERRRR all the time you never understood his obsession with cola but when he had you drink some you were hooked

— he makes you gadgets all the time whether to improve your sword or shield he is always making stuff for you

— when brook saw you he wanted your panties but was kinda scared when you drew your sword at him then he remembered he was dead but it was still kind scary

— jimbei had definitely heard of amazons before but like robin had never seen one

— he’s like a really cool person to be around if you wanna learn about his people culture you would always go to his with no hesitation and he would gladly tell you

— the crew admires you a lot your like there personal bodyguard they love you

— the girls will always make sure that when you guys go shopping you all get matching stuff because why not

— i feel like luffy goes to you for everything he has a cut on his hand he’s going to you instead of chopper it just shows how much he trust you

— when you first join the crew and your kinda timid to the boys they understand because your people say that men are just nasty but they get kind sad because they wanna know you better but over time you learn to love them ask much as you do robin and nami

— tell them stories of your home they wanna hear about it all the time especially if simultaneously they all can’t sleep and want to hear your voice

— they know how stubborn you can be so when you go into battle and almost sacrifice yourself so they can live they can get pretty mad at you but they know it comes from a place of love and respect

— i know that amazon’s have super strength and so does the crew so when you guys them they get kinda scared because of your bone crushing hugs

— if you don’t understand why some people do certain things then they’ll explain it to you

— sanji love it when you tell him about food that you ate when you were a child he tried to recreate it with you helping him

— they know how passionate you can be one time you were telling them how much you love them and made them cry

— whenever zoro gets lost you always find him first or he finds you first becuase he can feel your passion 100 miles away

— luffy definitely flexes on law and kid that he has an amazing warrior on his crew and they don’t (they admire you just as much and are kind jealous)

— if someone were to ever catcall you or harass you before you can get a word at there all jumping the person making there life absolutely fucking miserable

— for your birthday they did the cutest thing they had the sunny decorated like your home island from what they could make out of the books and just made you fell right at home

— when they find out your a princess that doesn’t change a thing about they see you but they can tell that another place you get your passion from

— nami will probably ask you for some money and you give it to her becuase you love her so much and she never charges you because of it

— you love you nakamas and they love you

[gay-dorito-dust]

I love all the things you write for the bat boys! So it just makes me wonder, how would the bat boys react to their partner doing the thing from tiktok where they’re all like “My boyfriend just told me he doesn’t love me anymore” all bc they told them that they couldn’t shop on Amazon anymore? 😂😂😂

I dunno what this was tbh.

Jason

Raises his brow at you the moment you say this, unamused. ‘Says the one who’s spending unnecessary amounts of money on 50cm plushies.’ He retorts.

You huffed as you crossed your arms over your chest. ‘Could’ve fooled me.’ You really wanted that 50cm hello kitty plush but Jason had to pull you away from doing so unfairly.

Jason groaned as he knelt in front of you. ‘Sweetheart, if I could I would give you all the plushies your heart desires, but you’ve got to think we’ve got limited living space and besides you were bound to get annoyed with how much space they take up sooner or later. I’m doing this for us, okay?’ He said as he searched your eyes.

You started at him for a bit before relaxing your arms. ‘Okay.’ You murmured.

Jason smiled, ‘do you take back your statement about me not loving you?’ He asked.

‘I guess.’ You replied, still not looking at him but Jason brought his hand to your chin and gently moved it so that you were stuck staring at him as he smiled at you sweetly. ‘I’ll ask again, do you take back the statement that I don’t love you?’

‘Yes, I take it back.’ You said louder this time. ‘I take back my statement that you don’t love me, I was being dramatic and I’m sorry that’s I’d ever say anything bad about me sweet, handsome man.’ You added when Jason didn’t think you were being honest and decided to butter him up with flattery.

Jason chuckled as he presses a kiss to your forehead. ‘Flatter won’t get you anywhere sweetheart but I appreciate the attempt, I’ll buy you a plushy for being good as long as you don’t spout such nonsense.’ He hums as he pressed a kiss to your nose before one more against your lips.

‘I promise.’ You said as you closed your eyes, knowing well enough that you could never say such things again when he treated you with nothing but love, respect and willingness to compromise. That and you could never stay mad at him for too long, you didn’t have the heart to.

Dick pouts but still stands strong on his stance.

‘I do love you baby but this has become an addiction, I’m only trying to save you the embarrassment from having your card decline for insufficient funds.’ Dick tells you as though he was helping you break a shitty habit, which you guess he was, but it wasn’t your fault you couldn’t help but buy that one plushy! It looked so lonely and you wanted to give it a home!

‘But, but-‘

‘No buts.’ Dick replied sternly. ‘The plushy would’ve found a better home with that kid that came into the store after us,’ he then squeezed your hand reassuringly, ‘besides i don’t think you really want to Hayley to get to them.’

You winced thinking about how the poor plushies would get torn apart within seconds if Hayley found them, which is why you kept all of your plushies elsewhere while getting Hayley her how set of toys, was it a bit much? Yeah but if it was to make your sweet puppy happy then you’d more than willingly go bankrupt for her just to see her little happy paw tippy taps. ‘I guess you’re right.’ You admitted defeatedly.

‘You hurt my heart when you said I didn’t love you anymore.’ Dick feels you and he brought your hand to his chest to feel his heartbeat. ‘You know I love you more than anything, so please don’t go hurting my heart for the sole purpose of loving you without fail.’ You couldn’t help but internally coo at his words and know that realistically he was looking out for you, so you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed with how dramatic you are being, especially over something that you could easily get when Dick wasn’t looking.

What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him after all.

‘I’m sorry, what can I do to make it up to you.’ You asked as you looked into his pretty eyes.

‘Since you’re offering Preferably some cuddles, kisses and even more kisses from the most beautiful person I know.’ Dick said with a cheeky smile on his face, the little shit had been planning this the entire time, the conniving little fucker and you fell for his trap without much difficulty. And now you were stuck coddling this smug man as he patted himself on the back for getting back at you for being dramatic over some plushy that he may or may not have bought you already.

[iknityounot]

I am going to make this a separate post, since the other one got so long.

So, like I mentioned there, I sent my grandma's granny squares off to my Loose Ends "finisher" with the intent of giving my mother the blanket when it was complete. I had NO thoughts in my head at all for saving something for myself.

When I received the box in August with the completed blanket, it had two additional things in it. It had a letter and a bag. The bag had two and a half skeins of left over yarn (please peep the picture of all they yarn I sent this lady, I was SO surprised she was able to use so much of it!) my grandmother's crochet hook, and a single granny square. In the letter, my finisher, Katherine, wrote that she set aside one of the original squares my grandma made--she specifically said the one she guessed may have been one of the first--in order to put it in a central place in the finished blanket. But then she forgot about it when she went to put the blank together, so now there was one left over. She said she sent it along with the blanket, hoping it would still find a home.

So, like I said in my last post, I gathered up the blanket and brought it to my mom....but I kept that lone granny square for myself. I immediately knew what I wanted to do with it:

I bought this little shadow box on Amazon, pinned in the granny square, and added my grandma's hook. I plan on hanging it in my little crafting zone in my apartment ❤️

Just another reason why the Loose Ends Project has my heart in a chokehold. There was so much thought and kindness that went into what Katherine did--for both me and my mom.

[queerly-autistic]

I've been thinking about potential pick-up of Our Flag Means Death by another streamer, and how it all might be tying in with the current BBC release, and I have some thoughts about what might be happening and what we can do to give the show the best chance of being picked up.

I think it's important to start by saying that all the whisperings that I heard over the past few months (including from some people who work at/with the BBC) pointed firmly towards a scheduled March release for Our Flag Means Death on the BBC. Needless to say, this means I was extremely surprised when they suddenly announced it was dropping at the beginning of February. I think it's also clear from everything I've seen that the BBC's marketing/social media plan for the release was not ready for February (there was no trailer, which was odd), which, again, really supports the idea that the show was initially schedule for a March release, not a February release.

I firmly believe the release was brought forward. The question is: why? Is it because they saw how much noise and press the show (and our campaign) was getting, and decided to try and capitalise on it? Or is there something else going on?

On top of that, we now have specific questions about Our Flag Means Death appearing on YouGov UK, including asking whether respondents would watch another series. This doesn't just happen. The charity I work for has commissioned YouGov polling (including some very recently) which I have been tangentially involved with, and so I know that this sort of polling is not easy work, and it's not cheap. Someone has put time AND money into commissioning this polling. This is significant. Someone is not only watching, but they are specifically watching the UK response to the show, and putting questions to the UK audience about it.

I have strong suspicions that a streamer (or several streamers) are interested in picking up the show, and are using the UK release as a live case study (Apple, Amazon and Netflix also have a presence in the UK, so we are a big target audience for them in a way we never were for Max). This could account for both the potential bringing forward of the BBC release (they didn't want to wait until March), and the YouGov polling that's going on (bear in mind, the YouGov questions were specifically as part of a wider survey about streaming services).

And this isn't just a passing interest: working with the BBC to bring forward the release, and investing time and money into YouGov polling? That's a strong interest. That's so interested they've already invested something into it.

Of course, I don't know anything for certain, so take everything with a pinch of salt (it's just a theory...a gay pirates theory...), but I think it's something to consider as a strong possibility.

So what does this mean for us?

It means we need to keep streaming on iPlayer. Watch it as many times as you can. Share it with your friends and family. If you're outside the UK, get yourself a VPN and join the party. Watch the live broadcasts on Monday nights (if you have iPlayer, you can stream the live broadcast - this is what I do because I don't have a TV). Keep tweeting about it (add the #OurFlagBBC hashtag to the existing hashtags we're using). Tag and email the UK media (including TV guides and radio shows) and ask them to talk about the show/our campaign. If you're tagging/emailing Apple, Amazon or Netflix, make sure you mention you're from the UK (and tag their UK specific social media accounts).

According to Parrot Analytics, the demand in the UK for the show is rising - let's keep adding to that!

You can also sign up to YouGov and rate the show (more instructions in the quote retweets of the tweet I linked to earlier), and keep answering questions about TV shows and streaming (and marking Our Flag Means Death as one of your interests) as a way to try and get them to give you the specific questions about the show (these start as a question about streaming and streaming services, which then turn into questions about OFMD, so if you get a survey like that, take it!).

It's also worth considering that if there's any validity to this, then there's a possibility that they might be waiting until after the show has finished airing in the UK (the finale is airing on 25th March) to crunch all the numbers together. This means that if we don't hear anything in the next few weeks, do not despair! We need to buckle in for a long fight, and to keep pushing the show and making noise over the next few weeks and months, especially around the BBC release.

This show is worth the fight. Let's get our damned men back!

[renranram]

baby making with quackity. 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Baby Making!

q. version ヘ⁠（⁠。⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠ヘ

nsfw!

this is quackity version of my schlatt one!

word count: 1976!

( i made him speak spanish, i apologize please just use google if you're struggling with understanding, also do correct me if im wrong enjoy!! )

the discussion of having children hasn't came up to you and alex’s relationship, both of you are aware of the large responsibilities it came with

but god forbid alex quackity having a tiktok account, his fyp filled with baby videos that he couldn't help but coo to

“ after marriage “ that's two of you agreed to, after marriage then children, but can't the man just dream?

the boy had been giving you subtle hints, during one time, on live, his viewers notices a pair of baby shoes and started spamming about it, “ oh this? “ he picks up the small shoes, beige brown

< ilikemymenlikequack: is (y/n) pregnant??

< quackadoodledoo: ALEXIS FATHER ERA?

< husbandkosialex: WOI OMG??

“ chat, (y/n) isn't pregnant yet, i just found these on amazon and thought it was cute, “ alex shows off the baby shoes, fixing his beanie with a smile, “ id like to be a dad one day tho “

and it continued, “ chat, isn't this cute? “ alex asks, showing off semi realistic baby doll, one that was given to him during twitchcon, “ it looks so fucking cool “ he chuckles

“ id want this baby to be real in the future “ alex adds, chuckling, and it continued, giving you simple hints, such as baby toys, clothes, and sudden talks of marriage

“ so…. when do you think we'd get married? “ alex looks at you, as you cook dinner for the two of you, “ what? you wanna get married? “

“ when you want to of course, “ he spun on your counter's chair, “ i mean i think it's cute just the two of us having a wedding, rings in both of our fingers, then we can show off to everyone that we're so in love “ he rambles, shrugging his shoulder

you chuckle, “ we're not even fiances yet? “ you face him, turning off the stove as you serve up the dish in plates, “ well, we will be in the future “ alex replies

“ well… i think marriage with you would be great, would be happy and satisfied with my life, but aren't we still young? “ you added as alex makes his way on your dining table, “ hm… right… what about babies? “ quackity asks non chalantly

“ what about babies? “ you repeat, wanting him to get straight to the point, deadpanning him, your hand resting on your hip

“ you know… babies…? “ alex awkwardly chuckles as he scratches the back of his head, “ i know what babies are “ you reply

“ lex… is there something you need to tell me? “ you ask, removing the apron from your torso, hanging it somewhere as you approach him

cupping him by his cheeks, you ask, “ is there something wrong that we need to talk about? “ god, that was one of the reasons why he just wants to marry you right there right now

“...i wanna… get you pregnant “ alex confesses, sighing in defeat as he leans more onto your touch, “ i dont think i can wait after marriage… i wanna see you in cute maternal clothes…, feeding our baby, babying them, i know you'd be the perfect mother, fuck, you're the perfect wife id ever ask for even tho we're not even married yet, it's just… i know i sound selfish and desperate but fuck, “ alex returns your affection by cupping your cheek too, “ i love you so much that i think i wanna make babies with you to show off how much i love you “

alex pecks your cheek, “ i love you so much, i just wanna show you off with our baby in your stomach “ he added, “ can we do it? please? “ he pleaded, “ i know if you think it's too much, but let me be selfish for once please? “

you pause, blinking as your eyes flutter, a faint pink tint appearing on your cheeks, “ lex…, babies are big responsibilities “ you added, “ i know, that's why im working hard aren't i? “ alex replies to you, with a soft gentle tone, caressing your cheek with just his thumb, “ my money’s big enough “

“ fuck… i can marry you right now, take a flight to vegas and get married to that stupid elvis chapel you keep joking about “ alex smiles warmly and affectionately

“ please? mami? “ alex pleaded, and dear lord how you folded so fast, now there's the two of you, making out with small giggles and chuckles

it was warm, gentle and comfortable for the both of you as alex gently pressed you against your bedroom’s door, his tongue swirling with you, making out as if it's your first time again, his hands, rests on your waist, holding on you gently on your place

“ mami you're so beautiful “ he whispers between the kisses, fixing your hair out of your face, before pulling you into a kiss again, your hands resting on his chest as you take the kiss, your lips locked with eachother, passionately and warmly

alex slowly slips his hand in your blouse, resting in your midriff, “ vas a ser una gran mamá para nuestros hijos “ he whispers, pecking your cheek as you giggle softly in response, “ baby… is that why you've been ordering baby stuffs off amazon? “ you ask as he chuckles, nodding, “ i was hoping you'd get the hint “

“ im kinda hints-blinded “ you joke as he chuckles, pecking your neck, trailing kisses all over you, “ i should've told you from the start then “ he added, “ would've been a better idea “ you smile, giggling loudly as he picks you up, holding onto you gently yet tightly, securing his grip on your hand as he press kisses all over your face, “ mami, you're the only person i can think of doing this with me “ alex hums, gently setting you down on your bed, his eyes hovering all over your body as he smiles warmly, seeing you all so pretty underneath him

alex removes his shirt, tossing it to the side, and he leans back down with you, “ mami, i want a little girl, she's going to be as beautiful as you, “ he cuts himself off with a kiss to your collarbone, “ as smart as you, “ he kisses your upper chest, gently guiding you to take off your top, before continuing, “ as kind as you “ alex pecks your chest, “ as friendly as you “ he pecks your stomach, his hand resting on the waistband of your shorts, gently tugging it down with your underwear

“ as perfect as you are “ alex lowers, now pecking on pelvis, “ alex… didn't know you're shakespeare “ you joke, giggling, causing him to chuckle in response, “ oh fuck off mami im trying to be romantic here “ he added, smiling warmly, his eyes filled with love and adoration as he fixes your hair

“ im… going to make you feel so loved “ alex replies as he nuzzles his mouth onto your clitoris, liking a strip on your warm organ with smile on his lips, “ you already make me feel so love lex “ you reply as her intertwines his hand with yours, the other holding you up

“ it's not enough “ alex replies as he kisses your clit, sucking it, lapping you, nuzzling his warm tongue, “ it is enough “ you mutters, moaning softly as you squeezes his hand

“ not for me that is, “ as alex eats you out, his finger gently enters you, feeling your wetness and tighness as you moan softly, alex finding a moment as he playfully scolds you, “ can you stop being such a smartass so i can fuck you, querido dios por favor “

you cackle, giggling as he smiles warmly, his finger thrusting into you with his tongue wetting you all up, you toss your head back, moaning softly as your other hand kneads with your breast

alex maintains eye contact, giving you heart eyes with every reaction you could possibly release, god, that man is so in love with you, chuckling softly, seeing how you gasp when he enters another finger in, admiring how you squeezed his hand in response

“ hah… lex “ you whimper out as his fingers skillfully scissors you, “ does it feels good mami? “ he asks, lapping you like a damn dog, enjoying your slickness as you nods, your finger dancing gentle with your nipples, kneading you breast as the other squeezes his hand

after a few minutes of sucking, fingering, you felt a familiar pool in your stomach as you gasp, “ lex.. lex.. im close “ you moan out, louder than the rest as alex nods, kissing your clitoris as he fastens his finger, causing you a few sharp gasps

“ do it mami, make a mess to my face “ alex reassures you, licking a stripe as you groan out in pleasure, seeing your legs shake, and with a squirt of your juices in his face, alex accomplished what he wanted, even tho, that was just the first step

he pecked your clit one last time, before pulling away, you making a mess on his face as he giggles, watching you whine out as he pulls out his finger, “ so pretty, mi linda esposa “

seeing him chuckle and smile, couldn't help but bring a smile on your face too, you just couldn't believe you're making a baby with the man you've loved for years, alex as gently as possible, spreaded your legs, propping himself between it as he pecks the side of your ankle, releasing your intertwined finger as he whistles in amusement seeing you all so flustered and pink

“ i love you “ alex mutters as he slips his pants down with his boxers, “ i love so much mami, you're going to be such a pretty and perfect wife and mamá to our daughter “

as he worships your body, his eyes not letting a single crevice of your body left untouched or unloved, he hums as he gently enters your body, the two of you gasp in unison, “ you alright mami? “ he asks, making sure you felt pleasure instead of pain, his almond shaped brown eye watches you, filled with adoration and love as you bit your lip, nodding

“ im moving, ¿bueno?, tell me if it hurts, ill stop mami “ alex gently warns as his hips roll against you gently, watching you moan out, your eyes fluttering in pleasure, enjoying how your body bounces with every single thrust

you chuckle softly, a warm intimate moment like this was just perfect, he was perfect for you, a pretty, gentle, kind boy who'd do everything, just to make you feel loved, if you were to switch places and had the dick, you'd probably do the same

you moan out, as he leans down, kissing you, his arm wrapped around your torso, flattening you as his thrusts continues, his tongue swirling with yours, feeling the smile on his lips

your lips stayed intact, only pulling away for taking breathes, noticing his thrusts speeding up as he groans, “ te amo mucho, seré la esposa más bonita que jamás haya existido “ he whispers, as you moan back in reply

“ te amaré por siempre y te adoraré como si fueras mi dios, te amo mucho, no puedo creer que seas mía y que estemos haciendo esto “ he added, alex groans out as he holds onto tightly

“ feels so good mami? “ alex mutters, staggering slightly as you nod in response, moaning, as you gasp

“ ah fuck.. fuck… im so close “ alex gasps, “ let me be selfish this time, ¿está bien? “ he added as he tightens his hold onto you, his hips thrusting faster and faster, your moans and gasps giving him more power to just get you pregnant right there

“ fuck fuck fuck fuck “ with every curse his thrusts was speeding up, kissing you all over your face as you receive him, “ será la esposa más bonita que jamás haya existido, ¿eh? “

“ te luciré muy bien en casa, todos se sorprenderán de lo bonita que eres cuando estás embarazada, ¿de acuerdo? “ he groans out, catching his high as he climaxes into you, filling you up with his seed, making you a mother

[ms-demeanor]

sex work is work, no problem with that, but spamming sex work absolutely everywhere now is not okay. bot or not, it is not okay to shove your probably fake/stolen tits or ass into everyone's face even where kids are. it is absolutely the lowest, cheapest trash doing that. are these people showing their barely covered up pussy to school kids on the street to maybe get a customer? because they are doing exactly that on the internet. if you cant find customers and need to lower yourself to std ridden junkey trash standards who missed the way and entitled themselves to begging for money outside trash town, zero support from me!

Yeah you really sound like someone who supports sex workers. That's what I always think when I hear people using words like "disease-ridden" and "junkie" - 'wow, that person must be SUCH an ally. braver than any US marine, thank you for your service, person who believes sex work is work but thinks STIs or drug addiction are 'trash'.'

So, point by point:

It's not absolutely everywhere. You don't see people trying to link their onlyfans on facebook most of the time (i've actually never seen it but i could believe it is happening, though it's not common because FB has real-name policies that are unfriendly to sex workers). You're unlikely to see fansly links as sidebar ads on cspan. People aren't linking their pages in the amazon reviews. You're seeing it "everywhere" because you're not going anywhere. Tell me you spend all your time on two to three platforms without telling me you spend all your time on two to three platforms. Instagram, tiktok, twitter, and tumblr are full of people who are promoting all kinds of brands and one of those kinds of brands is sex work.

Those are also all platforms that have age restrictions and behavior standards, and of all of them tumblr is the one that has the history of being the most openly sexual and the least connected to legal identities. People are linking to their diy porn because of the culture of these websites both currently and historically. I once posted a video on this website of me bringing myself to orgasm in a public bathroom stall then inserting a dildo into my vagina before I went on stage and performed a set with my band. I did it for free and for fun five years ago, the week before the porn ban hit.

What I'm saying here is that the culture of this website has a much longer history of openness about sex and sexuality and the visual presentation of sex than it does of being full of people who think teens shouldn't see nipples. This is an *extremely* reasonable place to post information linking to porn that you make and to use cute pictures of yourself to do so.

It's also really easy to tell that these people aren't bots or using stolen images because the whole point of the live platform is that you can click through and go talk to them. Strange Aeons did just that and you can see what happened. (click on that video for a fun cameo at 6:04) Turns out live users are just a bunch of people (not networks stealing images the way that actual porn *bots* on tumblr do) and the ones who are trying to do sex work on the live platform itself get banned.

But also kids too young to see the occasional boob shouldn't be on tumblr! (like, seriously, define kids. what age is too young to see the kinds of images allowed by the tumblr live tos? how about the ones banned by the tumblr live tos? How old should you have to be before someone shows you an ahegao face on a hoodie in public? What should the punishment be for the ahegao fashionistas for exposing six year olds to anime tongues? What should the minimum age be to go on the beach and see men in speedos? Fifteen, or is that still abusive to children? Maybe we should make it twenty to be safe, or better yet why don't we make it twenty AND ban speedos? this is what you sound like, you fucking asshole). Tumblr has age limits and people under that age limit shouldn't be looking at most things on this website. A smiling woman in a bikini top or a dude with his abs out are fucking nothing compared to the kind of damage you personally and specifically are trying to inflict with your shitty ideas.

Posting t&a on tumblr is not at all comparable to doing street level work and soliciting children for a number of reasons, but I'd just like to really take the time to point out that you just compared the profile pics on tumblr live to sexually soliciting a child. You literally did the "x group i hate are pedophiles" thing, which is exactly why it's such a huge problem that any and all types of nudity have been stigmatized online. We have created an entirely new paradigm of "pedophile" that means "existed around a child while wearing tight pants." You are such a fucking clueless, sanctimonious pile of shit that you can't even see that that's what you're doing. This is literally, exactly kink at pride discourse.

And that's even if I grant you that these people are posting t&a! Go look at the live leaderboards, you don't have to accept the ToS to see the leaderboards! We are talking about *at most* saucy pin-up levels of eroticism. I have seen fucking holiday cards with more visible cleavage than any of the top 200 tumblr live streamers right now.

The only thing in your final sentence that makes any sense is that you are positioning tumblr as trash town.

Yeah. I'm actually not at all impressed by tumblr recently and that has a lot more to do with the influx or resurgence of nuance-allergic, anti-sex, whiny shits like you than it does with a banner that i can scroll past in a quarter of a second.

I want people reading this to really, really sit down and think about what they're calling assault or hypersexualiztion or whatever. We are talking about profile pictures. You are so offended by a bar of 4 profile pictures at the top of your dash that you're comparing regular ass humans (some of whom are sex workers and some of whom are just streamers who took thirst trap selfies) to the real life solicitation and abuse of children.

TOUCHING GRASS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PLEASE GO INTERACT WITH ACTUAL REAL HUMANS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT DASHCON OR MILKSHAKE DUCK ARE. YOU ARE CRITICALLY INTERNET POISONED AND IF YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE AT THE DMV AND DESCRIBED IT AS ASSAULTING CHILDREN TO HAVE SOMEONE IN A BIKINI ON A BILLBOARD THEY WOULD IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET AWAY FROM YOU. THINK OF THIS POST AS THE CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTOR TELLING YOU THAT THE SHADOWS YOU'RE SEEING AREN'T ACTUALLY DEMONS BUT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO REALLY REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T GO OUTSIDE.

[empressgeekt]

batfam meets the justice league fic idea, where Nightwing convinces the JL that the batfam is the last of the race Gotham bat demons...

made on moble so sorry in advance.

Okay so it starts with Batwoman and Nightwing hanging around the watchtower. Eventually someone (most likely either hal or barry) asks how they are related to batman. Batwoman claims to be his sister, and Nightwing obviously says he's his son. When the question of who Nightwing's mom comes up (along with some of the league thinking that Nightwing was an accident, cause they can't see bats settling down), Batwoman simply says, "he doesn't have one."

The convo sudden shifts to the topic of the 'history' and 'biology' of the bat demon race. How they were nearly eradicated by a war with the Amazon's, and Atlantis, only a few really surviving and finding refuge in the caves below Gotham. Hwo they used ancient forgotten magic to remove all memories of this 'war' to keep themselves save. And finally how they reproduce asexually, by reviving the souls of children who were wrongfully killed. Taking the weak dead spirit and carrying them in their own soul until it could put itself back together.

When asked if this was how Nightwing was born, they confirm it.

BW: oh yeah. Actually 'wing was kind of a surprise you could say.

Hal: surprise?

N: YEP! You see I was kinda of dad's first so he really didn't know what he was doing...

BW: and it ended with bossy big brother screaming his head off in an emergence of a batling that he didn't know he was carrying.

Barry: screaming his head off?

N: oh...well the process of soul splitting, emergence, rebirth, whatever you want to call it, includes the host's soul breaking down enough to allow the younger newly revived soul to detach. It's very painful, So I've heard.

BW; so you've heard? Kid please I know you've heard your father when it came to your siblings rebirth.

Needless to say everyone (especially hal and barry), look at Batman the same way for the next few days.

when Bruce confronts his son and cousin, he honestly can't say he hates the idea. UT would throw off any suspicions sound hus true identity. Not mention give him a new way to mess with hal.

The rest of the batfam (let's say standard webcomic cast, with Terry and Matty McGinnis [time traveled/dimensionhopped], along with flashpoint!batman, because they deserve to be in the safe place rhay is the batfam too, for funies), also find this cover story hilarious, and spend all of dinner adding to the bat-demon mythos.

Thomas would've been the last surviving member of the demon army, who retreated and sought refuge in Gotham, along with his human turned immortal companion of Alfred. Bruce, Kate, and Luke (batwing) would his 'children'.

The normal children would all still be Bruce's. Inculding spoiler, as why she claims she isn't Bruce's daughter, she isn't passing up the chance to mess with the JL.

Eventually the idea gets suggested that they should trick the JL into believing that Batman is pregnant with a new batling. The prank idea slowly snowballs from there and Bruce is unable to stop it. So he agrees to join in, ans rhe prank planninf begins. Matty immediately volunteers to be the new batling, because he technically the youngest and doesn't have a vigilante alter ego yet.

The prank starts out slow. Batwoman and Nightwing increase their visits to the watchtower? Specially when batman is there and they are usually in the same room as him.

Bruce pretends to be more tired often, even pretending to take a nap, where the JL can find him. He also fakes head aches.

Eventually Clark asks him if he's alright. And Nightwing responds with

N: of course he's not. He's working too hard.

B: Nightwing...

N: there's a reason me and aunt BW following you, and it's so you don't over do it!

B: nightwing...

N: even grandfather is worried.

B: Nightwing. I have been through this 8 times already. I think I know my limits. Besides your grandfather has always been worried over the thought of a new spawn in the house.

Clark: !!!!

Once more things around batman grow awkward for the next few weeks.

The end of the fic would be the JL visiting the "bat domain" to meet Matty dressed up in a mask and brightly colored suit. And finding out about the literal small army that batman's been building. Not to mention cameo of Thomas in his bat suit scaring the living crap out if the justice league, and having the time of his life.

Edit: Alright its official, this is going to be my holiday special for this year. So, around Christmas time I'll post a link so yall can read this.

Edit 2: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51963331/chapters/131402920

Happy holidays! hears and early present!

[alternative-ffa]

Being with the same person for decades creates a sense of security. At this point, you're both partners in life and all effort goes into helping the other.

Jacob liked to message his wife Bethany when she was outside having a smoke or on the phone with friends. He would tease her with with his requests, hoping they would be inciting and arousing enough for her to come back in the house and play with him and his fat body. It was 8am and Bethany had sneaked out of bed, not to wake him. He took up over half of the king sized bed, using body pillows as dams for his obese body. He loved being fat.

This particular morning, he was messaging her to create a grocery order, daring her to get the most fattening items she could find - knowing that she would be insistent that he finished everything before it went bad. Her strategy was to get all perishable items, like cakes from the bakery instead of brand name cookies. It forced him to consume everything quicker.

Life over the last decade had thrown them curveballs. Having met on a fat fetish website, everyone looked forward to their updates, as they were quite active in the community. They were sure that Jacob was going to be impossibly huge, given his discovery of a female feeder at his disposal so early in life, and his sincere sexual desire to become too fat to move.

But life with the fetish isn't always the perfect fantasy. Jacob had to deal with the usual stress of life and would put his gaining on the back burner. His girlfriend (at the time) and feeder, Bethany, would always defer to what he wanted. If life became too stressful, and becoming fatter was the last thing on his mind, she never pushed it.

Life went back and forth. It was either, "feed me until I scream for help" or "I don't want to think about it".

She adapted to his mood throughout the years.

At this point life had taken a turn again. He worked from home and his gluttony began to take over. Bethany loved this. He found joy in getting groceries delivered. But he enjoyed it way more when she made the shopping list. She would order pastries and cakes and heavy cream on top of the usual order. He always had the last say, but would almost order her to create a grocery list of all the items she wanted him to consume.

He was obvious with his hints. An Amazon package arrived one day with a huge funnel and tube. She opened the box and raised her eyebrow as she asked, "planning on having a beer chugging party?"

He put his hands on his belly and chuckled as he said, "... not beer..."

As mentioned previously, he was obvious with his hints. Given the funnel and tube he ordered, she knew to add heavy cream... and given the holiday season, eggnog, to the list.

She secretly loved him working from home. He ate constantly. She wanted to see him get as big as possible, so she knew the tricks. He'd ask what food there was in the house. She'd give him a basic answer and deny his request for take out. He would grunt annoyingly as he created some kind of gigantic meal from the leftovers in the house. Then, once he finished his meal, she would order food. He didn't pick up on the strategy, but since he enjoyed it, he didn't care to. Time passing was a thing he didn't seem to notice, especially when it came to his appetite. She'd order food right after he finished a feast. He would stuff himself thoroughly with the order, then be confused why he was so full. She'd have to remind him, "well, you did finish a big meal before take out arrived."

He always looked surprised... "you mean, that wasn't hours ago? I... I'm still hungry."

She would smile and say, "you want something sweet now, don't you?"

He'd lick his fat lips and burp loudly, then say, "yes, ice cream. Sprinkle cinnamon on top, it's healthy."

Bethany would laugh with that statement. A full bowl of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, spilling over the edges, and yet... adding cinnamon would make it healthy? She didn't care. If he wanted to believe that, he could. She just wanted him to get fatter.

She placed a grocery order... enough for a family of five - knowing it was going into a belly of one. Since he fluctuated in his gaining desire over the last decade, she knew this was the open window to make him huge. But she had to do it quickly... given his speedy change in mindset over the years.

At over 350lbs, Jacob was big in the scheme of things. But it wasn't nearly big enough. His whole life he had the desire to become too fat to move. Even as a child, he played games where he was too big to leave the plastic play house during recess. It was just a hint of his adult desire to become immobilized with fat.

She played with him mentally; making sure he ate so much that he was surprised it even happened. He'd eat a full meal and forget so easily that she could trick him into eating a second or third lunch. Daylight savings time helped. It got dark so much earlier that even though he had eaten a full, multiple plate, dinner... darkness fell and she could convince him that it was hours ago, as she presented him with another couple plates of food.

She didn't feed him, because she didn't need to. He would eat himself into a coma without her help. Feeding him was a treat... and he had to be laid on his back, belching loudly to make room, before she even considered it. She wanted him to beg. Him, laying on his recliner, stuffed like a hog, burping every few minutes, rubbing his belly... lifting it with his fat hands to drop it, just watching it jiggle down, teasing his fatpad which surrounded his dick.

She'd watch from the couch. If he ate this well without needing to be fed, then she'd wait until he couldn't eat any longer before she stepped in.

This was one of those nights. The funnel he had ordered sat on a chair in the living room, not being used. Bethany was waiting for the perfect moment. On this particular night, Jacob had consumed so much food that he was lapsing in and out of consciousness in his recliner. She looked over at him and smiled. She knew this was her chance to sneak into the kitchen and make a quick weight gain shake to surprise him. She wanted him to wake up with the tube in his mouth, helpless to stop the fattening fluid as it filled his already stuffed belly. While she combined the heavy cream, weight gain powder, ice cream, and milk in the blender; she realized a surprise was impossible with the inevitable noise. She shrugged her shoulders and thought, "well, I'm sure hearing the blender and noticing the funnel is no longer on the chair will be surprise enough for him."

When she turned it on to mix up his 5000 calorie shake, she heard him snort in the living room - obviously waking up suddenly. But he stayed silent.

She poured the shake into the funnel, being sure to block the tube with her thumb once it was filled. A little bit spilled in the sink, but given that this was her first time filling up a feeding funnel, she wasn't too bothered by it. Balancing the shake in the funnel, she tip toed back into the living room. His eyes met hers immediately. He looked greedy, and ready to go above and beyond to chug it down. When they made eye contact, neither had to say anything.

Bethany had already taken her arms out of her bathrobe so she could hold the tube and funnel, so it was easy as she dropped her bathrobe to reveal a dark navy blue, baby-doll style lingerie set. His hungry eyes sparked with a sexual hunger on top of his permanent gluttonous hunger, and they darted back and forth from her to the funnel she held.

She approached him and placed her hand on his belly. It was still hard and bloated from what he had eaten throughout the day. She was about to place the tube into his excited mouth, but instead asked, "You're still very full. Are you sure you can fit this?"

There was a hint of teasing in her voice, almost daring him.

His fat hand reached up and grabbed the tube from her. He wasn't quick enough to get it into his mouth and a little bit of the shake fell onto his breasts, but he didn't care. He closed his eyes and drank as fast as he could as she held the funnel up above him. It only took a few minutes until the funnel was half empty. He reached for the tube, placing his thumb on the end of it to save what was left. A loud wet belch escaped his lips. He groaned. His free hand reached down to his swollen belly and he pressed it, forcing more air out with every burp. Bethany could only watch as she held the funnel up above him. She wanted to stand between his legs, hovering over his huge body - leaning over him, kissing and rubbing his fat as she teased the sensitive flesh deep between his rolls. She almost decided to put the funnel back in the kitchen, balancing it on something to keep the other half of the shake in it. But Jacob grabbed it again before she could make the decision. He swallowed as quickly as he could. Luckily the funnel itself was transparent - he would look up at it every few seconds to see how much was left. As the fattening fluid disappeared down the funnel, he seemed to get more greedy, gulping it down faster and faster.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore. There was still a little bit of the shake in the tube, but he could feel the fullness in his belly and the pain of being so gluttonous that he could barely breathe. He had to stop. The small amount left fell down his chins and he dropped the tube. Luckily Bethany still held the funnel, and she caught it before the droplets fell on the floor.

Holding it in one hand, she leaned down towards Jacob. He continued to belch and she quickly rubbed what she could of his belly as she said teasingly, "You out-did yourself. I'll be right back fat boy."

He moaned. He loved when she called him fat. The more derogatory, the better. He wanted to be called a pig, a glutton, a fat fuck - and every time she indulged his enjoyment of humiliation, he found himself pulsing with pleasure.

She came back into the room with a wet paper towel and gently began to clean off the cream that fell from the tube. It dribbled down his lips, flowing down his chins. Bits of it were in-between his fat hairy breasts. She was erotic with her cleaning - teasing his nipples as she seductively told him what a messy fat hog he was. She had cleaned him thoroughly, but he was, yet again, floating in and out of a food coma. He sensed her walking away and jolted awake. She held up the dirty paper towel and assured him, "I'm just throwing this out, I'll be right back."

She heard the slight squeek of the recliner as he laid his head back down again.

She threw out the paper towel in the kitchen, then momentarily reflected on the last hour. She was lucky. The desire to be with such a gigantic man was rare - nevermind finding a man who would do anything to become as fat as he could. She had fattened men up before, when she had first discovered her unusual desire. But they didn't enjoy it. They did it for her attention, and not because they wanted it as well. As a result, they didn't gain nearly the amount she was attracted to, and the relationships never lasted. She smiled, knowing she chose the right man over a decade and a half ago. He was right there, laying in their living room, burping and moaning. She knew he was rubbing his belly without even needing to look into the room.

Another thought crossed her mind in this short reverie... his dreams. She was a light sleeper, and many times over the years she'd hear him groan in his sleep and whisper, "I'm so fat. More... more..."

She would always awake suddenly, but smiled. How lucky to have a man who really dreamed of being obese; who had no limit to how fat he wanted to get.

It had only been a few seconds, but in her brain, she thought she was standing in the kitchen dreaming for at least a couple minutes. Him moaning in the other room brought her out of her daydream and reminded her that he deserved a belly rub. She withheld it when he didn't eat enough. A slight dominance within her made sure that his reward of physical and sexual pleasure had to be earned.

She walked back into the living room and stood at his feet. He was reclined as much as he could be. His thick fat hands were already engaged in vigorously massaging his impossibly full stomach. His eyes were closed and she watched. He was so full that he wasn't exactly conscious. It reminded her of his dreams... and she wanted to say, "Yes, you are fat. And you're getting so much fatter."

She couldn't resist. Tip toeing over to his side she whispered this into his ear. He smirked and opened his eyes. She was leaning over him and he looked at her pert breasts almost spilling out of the lingerie. He reached with his fat hand and grabbed one. Moaning he said, "come closer."

She stepped away from his side and moved between his legs. Being reclined blocked her, so he grabbed the remote and lowered the foot rest. She moved closer, her hands on his thighs. He reached down and lifted his belly. The fat of his groin hid most of him, but she saw the head of his dick, hard and pulsing, almost trying to escape the fat that encased it. She got on her knees... and his eyes were wide with excitement.