#so this is both hilarious and deeply insulting to me

[avaantares]

Fanfiction Authors: HEADS UP

(Non-authors, please RB to signal boost to your author friends!)

An astute reader informed me this morning that one of my fics (Children of the Future Age) had been pirated and was being sold as a novel on Amazon:

(And they weren't even creative with their cover design. If you're going to pirate something that I spent a full year of my life writing, at least give me a pretty screenshot to brag about later. Seriously.)

I promptly filed a DMCA complaint to have it removed, but I checked out the company that put it up -- Plush Books -- and it looks like A LOT of their books are pirated fic. They are by no means the only ones doing this, either -- the fact that """publishers""" can download stories from AO3 in ebook format and then reupload them to Amazon in just a few clicks makes fic piracy a common problem. There are a whole host of reasons why letting this continue is bad -- including actual legal risk to fanfiction archives -- but basically:

IF YOU ARE A FANFIC AUTHOR WITH LONG AND/OR POPULAR WORKS, PLEASE CHECK AMAZON TO SEE IF YOUR STORIES HAVE BEEN PIRATED.

You can search for your fics by title, or by text from the description (which is often just copied wholesale from AO3 as well). If you find that someone has stolen your work and is selling it as their own, you can lodge a DMCA complaint (Amazon.com/USA site; other countries have different systems). If you haven't done this before, it's easy! Here's a tutorial:

HOW TO FILE A COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT FOR STOLEN WORK ON AMAZON.COM:

First, go to this form. You'll need to be signed into your Amazon account.

Select the radio buttons/dropdown options (shown below) to indicate that you are the legal Rights Owner, you have a copyright concern, and it is about a pirated product.

Enter the name of your story in the Name of Brand field.

In the Link to the Copyrighted Work box, enter a link to the story on AO3 or whatever site your work is posted on.

In the Additional Information box, explain that you are the author of the work and it is being sold without your permission. That's all you really need. If you want, you can include additional information that might be helpful in establishing the validity of your claim, but you don't have to go into great detail. You can simply write something like this:

I am the author of this work, which is being sold by [publisher] without my permission. I originally published this story in [date/year] on [name of site], and have provided a link to the original above. On request, I can provide documentation proving that I am the owner of the account that originally posted this story.

In the ASIN/ISBN-10 field, copy and paste the ID number from the pirated copy's URL. You'll find this ten-digit number in the Amazon URL after the word "product," as in the screenshot below. (If the URL extends beyond this number, you can ignore everything from the question mark on.) Once this number has been added, Amazon will pull the product information automatically and add it to the complaint form, so you can check the listing title and make sure it's correct.

Finally, add your contact information to the relevant fields, check the "I have read and accept the statements" box, and then click Submit. You should receive an email confirmation that Amazon has received the form.

Please share this information with your writer friends, keep an eye out for/report pirated works, and help us keep fanfiction free and legally protected!

NOTE: All of the above also applies to Amazon products featuring stolen artwork, etc., so fan artists should check too!

[blackkatmagic]

I love the meet cute for Padme so much.

Padme and Fox at Palpatine’s funeral? He’d be upset that she got there first except now he finally gets why his men like this senator so much

Padme and Arla? Idk who they’d even kill, maybe Tor, but I think Arla would be very into Padme murdering him with a hairpin. Or I could see Padme being very into Arla murdering a Sith with a very large gun

Padme and Granta could work with either Anakin or Palpatine. They’re both in the removing comical amounts of weaponry from their clothes club and it deeply amuses me that Granta would have the bigger femme fatale vibes in the relationship

Also, not a Padme one but: Dooku and Nico

I have a massive secret soft spot for Padme/Granta (largely because of the femme fatale thing) and this makes my brain vibrate like you would not believe dear lord.

Nico/Dooku would be absolutely hilarious in an entirely different way. Who's dead? Maybe it's Palpatine! Maybe it's a random senator who insulted Dooku's favorite cape/denied Nico's request for aide to a group of newly freed slaves. The various options cover a wide swath of the population and all of the results are funny.

[spencer-charnas-ix]

How to give an unsub a midlife crisis with SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and SSA David Rossi - A Criminal Minds Fanfic

A/N: I randomly thought of this idea of Hotch and Rossi being victims of an unsub and the unsub's planning to kill them, but Hotch and Rossi just make fun of them and make them cry and have a midlife crisis because why not and it would be hilarious, and we need sassy Hotch and Rossi🤣

"Oh, for god sake, why the hell did we get kidnapped?" Aaron Hotchner said, rolling his eyes as he was tied to a chair with his co-worker/friend David Rossi.

"I have no clue, but to be completely honest I don't care" Rossi shrugged, sighing deeply, as they heard a voice crackle from a nearby speaker.

"Welcome, SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and SSA David Rossi, it's a pleasure to see you," The voice said

Hotch rolled his eyes. "Great, it's fucking jigsaw; what is this the saw franchise" He mocked

"Yeah, are we gonna be killed by John Kramer?" Rossi interjected with a scoff

"Or better yet, are we going to play a game?" Hotch added with a tired sigh

"Hey, I'm not John Kramer!-"

"Oh really, I hadn't noticed." Rossi mocked sarcastically

"Well, I'm here to kill the both of you, and I'm going to enjoy-" The unsub said before Hotch interrupted him.

"Spare us the villain monologue; we've heard it all before," Hotch said, rolling his eyes.

"Why are you both so mean?" The unsub whined, feeling annoyed

"Oh gee, we have a ton of damn reasons why", Rossi explained, rolling his eyes

"First of all, we've had no sleep; our sanity is gone, and we have to deal with our chaotic mentally ill work children, AKA our team, and we've turned into major alcoholics from it", Hotch explained condescendingly.

"But you know I am still gonna kill you both-"

"Oh, please kill us that way; we won't have to deal with our stupid, mentally ill work children." Hotch interrupted, looking bored of the conversation

The unsub came into the room, but their face was covered. They were wearing a black hoodie, jeans, trainers, and a Jason Voorhees mask with a voice modulator embedded in it.

"Wonderful, we're gonna get murdered by Jason Voorhees," Hotch said, scoffing

"Great, let me guess, you have mommy issues; what's the matter missing your mother, Pamela or better yet, did you drown in Camp Crystal Lake because of your deformed face?." Rossi sneered as Hotch laughed

"HEYYY, STOP CALLING ME JASON VOORHEES, AND MY MOTHER ISN'T PAMELA, AND I DIDN'T DROWN AT CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE BECAUSE OF MY FACE!"

"Oh, quit your whining; I mean, honestly, how are you going to kill us, huh? You gonna bore us to death," Hotch mocked as Rossi burst out laughing.

"No I-i'm gonna set you both on fire!" The unsub shouted angrily

"Oh really you're gonna set us on fire, and when you do play 'This girl is on fire' when we die, it'll be funny", Rossi laughed as Hotch nodded, laughing.

The unsub started getting upset and had a mid-life crisis due to the mocking, mimicking and other insults Rossi and Hotch had thrown at them.

Meanwhile, Hotch had been on the phone with the FBI SWAT Team the whole time as he and Rossi were also free from their restraints, but they acted like they were still tied up.

"Also, you know I've been on the phone with the FBI SWAT Team all this time, right? You boys can come in now!" Hotch said into the phone as the SWAT Team arrested the unsub as Hotch and Rossi got up from their chairs and left the warehouse they were trapped in.

"God I need a drink", Rossi said, pushing his hair back with a tired sigh

"Me too, wanna go back to the office and drink all the booze we have?" Hotch suggested

Rossi grinned. "You read my mind, Aaron"

Both men laughed as they went back to the office after a long, tiring day and drank like it was no tomorrow.

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 21: Uskerty

I absolutely adore this episode as the origin of my single favorite Cabin Pressure line: "You know, between the dames and the horses, sometimes I don't know why I even put my hat on." Nothing will ever beat it for me.

So yeah, this episode is super funny, but I do want to talk a bit about something that's come up as my go to "look, a THEME!" here- vulnerability. Because as I was listening, trying to figure out what I was taking away from this episode besides "this is all really funny and well plotted" because at a certain point that gets old, it struck me that there are ways that both of our (absolutely brilliant) pairings this episode really strike a chord when considering the role of vulnerability- and lack of it- in relationships.

This is a bit less so in the Douglas-Arthur pairing in this episode, which is inspired (and yay, there's finally a nice airport manager!)- there are brilliant set pieces, and the premise of the bar conversation allows two very different people to kind of sort of attempt to understand each other. There's also a really nice father/son element- we already can perceive, even if it's not said outright, that Arthur doesn't have much of a father figure- his life is very dominated by Carolyn's influence, even in the majority-male flight deck, in a way that I think even tints his interactions with Mr Birling about sports (there's a tinge of eagerness for acceptance), which he's clueless about. Would Arthur know more about sports if he'd had a dad who gave a shit about him? Who knows. But this episode giving him an older man who's willing to open an as-yet-shut door into a men's world that excites him.

The men's world is, of course, the world of the pub. We've already seen a glimpse of Douglas in that milieu in Kuala Lumpur, and usually I'd say the less said about that the better, but I think there's something interesting about how mean spirited and surfacey it could be there, alongside Arthur's misunderstanding what Douglas means about "talking about their lives." He asks a question that is so unexpectedly and deeply personal that Douglas isn't even upset that he asks, he understands that this is another rule of masculine bar/pub conversation that he has to teach Arthur. On a certain level, this is fine on its own- there's a time and place for everything- but if you look at it a certain way, it can reinforce tropes about men and expressing emotions and feelings. And yet... even by following the rules of pub chat that Douglas lays out for him, and trying to fall into its ritualistic norms (like creative insults), Arthur, in part through his own open-book vulnerability, is able to bring things to a place where Douglas is pretty unselfconsciously vulnerable himself, about the place in the world where he finds himself. And by the end, he's fallen more into Arthur's more atmospheric image of two men in a bar. He's loosened up, and isn't playing by the rules anymore. It's just really nice (in addition to being hilariously funny).

The Martin and Carolyn pairing is maybe a bit less novel than the Douglas and Arthur one, but it still works really well in this discussion of vulnerability. Both of them have had pretenses/barriers they try to keep up- and both, incidentally, are related to their own interest in expressing that they are in control- but by now Martin has learned enough to have started to relax his. This actually really helps, as his actions aren't hampered by pretense or pride- he's basically able to function ALMOST competently with the cabbie as a result. But Carolyn is almost on overtime trying to keep her barriers up against vulnerability and it is clearly driving her a bit bananas, hence her complete dysfunction this episode- she has to be ironic and invulnerable about her gift to Herc, to prove that she may be seeing him but she doesn't have feelings (which will of course come to haunt her in Vaduz), and as a result loses all her judgment. And her overtime craziness is, unusually enough, what causes Martin’s misfortune, not his own incompetence! He's the functional one here, not her, because unlike her he's not filtering all his behavior through this one very constricting lens.

Once Martin is able to open her up a bit in the discussion of his salary- where she starts off in control as the boss and is forced to face the fact that Martin is loyal to her even when he shouldn't be*, which could very easily pierce the defenses of her invulnerability as she has to accept this reality- she starts to mellow out. Whereas she starts off saying that she's “not a little old lady” so she can’t do the totally reasonable thing until Martin begs, afterward she manages to chill enough that she can do the, you know, sane thing even though it dings her a bit in the self-confidence. She's not quite as in thrall to her inner barriers anymore.

I'll just end off by saying- this episode may also, in addition to my favorite line, have my favorite closing lines of any episode, with the possible exception of Zurich 2. Though that one's mostly about the nostalgia and emotions. So maybe this is it.

*On this note- when did Martin stop looking for jobs? He was looking in Rotterdam… given my St Petersburg post I wonder if it was before or after that.

[arinrowan]

Hi. I just found your Pluto posts and you just made my night with your analysis on it's themes of humanity, grief and hatred. I finished it last month and I still can't get over how deep and painful it all was.

Dare I ask, do you have any favorite scenes or character moments from Pluto?

I don't think it was meant to be funny but there's something darkly hilarious to me about how many people showed up to talk with Brau 1589 and that he (it?) was somehow the closest thing to therapy any of those characters got. Also the guy losing his human chassis because Pluto accidentally stole it for a few days so the poor dude was just wandering around in his construction body like the worst possible version of losing your car and house keys so you can't drive home.

Are Atom and Goji perfect AIs because they can lie? Was Geischt a perfect AI because he reacted in anger and murdered the man responsible for the death of his child? What do any of these scientists actually mean by a perfect AI, and what do they want to accomplish by creating one? What's the difference between the emotions of an AI and the emotions of a human?

Tenma is a disaster. Just. An absolute disaster. He's responsible for almost the entire plot yet takes responsibility for none of it. With both Atom and Goji we see him show up, do something deeply traumatizing to the robot, and then wander off before he has to deal with any potential fallout or consequences. The closest moment of connection we see him have is with Helena when she asks him how to grieve for her dead husband. He almost connects with Uran but her worldview is too different from his so he ends up insulting and belittling her instead. He lies to himself that he can bring Tobio back to life, he lies to himself that he won't try and fix Atom, does nothing to try and connect with Atom once it's confirmed Atom is alive again and leaves Ochanomizu to deal with any potential fallout, essentially sabotaging any possible fix he could have with his and Atom's relationship. He keeps showing up, saying cryptic things, then wandering off without bothering to provide any context. He also keeps warning people not to do something and then three episodes later we find out he said that because he already did the thing but didn't feel like explaining.

Did he honor Abullah's last request out of respect for his grief?

Is it a kindness for Helena to not remember her dead child? Is it a worse violation that her memory was changed without her consent or knowledge and then two different people in her life, Geischt and Atom, failed to tell her what was missing? Is she grateful Atom lied to her about not knowing what was in her missing memories?

Epsilon refused to be conscripted and dedicated his life to raising children who were orphaned by the war, and despite Goji showing he knows this ON SCREEN he still wants Pluto to kill him. Twice.

Goji being about to potentially kill Wissily by beating him with a pipe, a traumatized child he's had kidnapped, and Pluto not allowing him. Pluto begging Epsilon to kill him because he doesn't know how to stop.

Atom and Pluto, after their fight, waiting for Bora by lying down and stargazing until it's time.

[swamp-spirit]

"Playful insults/competition/ribbing" are tricky because they're a breeding ground for "my conversational preferences are correct". Anyone who thinks you go too far is 'too sensitive', anyone who goes too far for you is 'just being mean'.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how a 'sense of humor' is often an intentional method of exclusion. I remember not applying for a job because the posting pretty much said "has to be okay with bigoted jokes". Discomfort with mean jokes is often used to soft-gate the targets of those jokes as too sensitive and unable to 'handle the culture'.

But I'm also aware insults and bragging are important parts of a lot of communities. Hell, playful insults are a big part of most of my friendships and 100% a part of my marriage, and, again, my sensitivity is not actually a valid metric for how people should communicate.

So I've been thinking about 'playful' insults, the functions they serve, and whether I consider those positive.

Some Positive Things

Show of Familiarity - All playful insults depend on knowing the boundaries of this particular community/person. Most people are fine being teased about a typo and not about their grandmother's death, but there's always going to be somebody who's been humiliated for their 'stupidity' and is deeply hurt over being teased by a typo, but thinks jokes about their grandmother's death are cathartic and hilarious. Ribbing can almost be a flex of closeness and communication. It can be affectionate, highlighting 'negative' traits you enjoy. It shows you know what's off limits, and have the communication skills that, if you miss, a casual 'hey, too far' will be listened to.

Diffusion of Tension - On familiarity, joking about something can often remove the fear around it. For example, openly cracking jokes about my disability keeps it from being a taboo subject people avoid. It can also be used to highlight the absurdity of insecurities. An outsized reaction to a minor mistake can be used to say "look how absurd it would be to care about that mistake".

Playful Competition - Some fond trash talk can be part of the fun for some people, heightening the wins and being a fun way the clash wits with a friend. This works best when skill levels are similar, the trash talk not attacking a genuine lack of skill, and staying relevant to the game instead of attacking the person.

Reclaiming Control - I'm clumsy and not great at social cues. I've been in some embarrassing situations because of it, but turning those situations into a joke gives me power over them. Hand-in-hand with diffusing tension, plenty of people want to be able to joke about their traumatic experiences, or even just their embarrassing experiences. Friends sharing in these jokes are not putting their friends down, they're respecting how somebody wishes to frame their own narrative.

Some Negative Things

Conformity Policing - 'Playful' humor is often used to embarrass people breaking the unspoken rules of 'normal'. This is often used in a very gendered way, which also has the splash damage of framing who is inferior by default. A space that is constantly mocking guys for being "pussies, little bitches, like a girl" hurts both men who fail to fit masculinity and makes it clear this space does not see women as worth respecting. What's 'too far' is also used to enforce group values and can be used to exclude. For example, some POC might find jokes about their race diffuse tension, but a workplace where race jokes are 'part of the culture' is going to feel more hostile to people who've had traumatic experiences related to their race or are the only person of their race in the office. Even if they 'make fun of everyone', it's used to create a pressure that those most affected need to leave or pretend it's fine, and pretending it's fine will be used to justify the behavior.

Lack of Accountability - Something being 'a joke' can give license to say things without consequences. Even when the insult comes from a genuine place, being offended or hurt is a sign that you are 'too sensitive'. Plenty of people have lifelong insecurities from things that were brought up 'as a joke'. It's especially tricky because the person saying the insult may or may not mean it, so the target can be left wondering if there was ill intent or the person thought it was funny. Remember: It's not a joke if you mean it.

Addressing Grievances - This is a bit like accountability, but comes from a different place. Bringing up a genuine issue 'as a joke' is sometimes seen as a way to bridge into a heavy subject in a gentle, low-tension way, but it almost always backfires. It undermines the person's ability to trust your 'jokes' and makes it hard to have a meaningful conversation about resolving the issue without an awkward shift in tone.

Compulsive 'Truth' Seeking - Some people see negative feedback as 'real' and 'honest' and feel compelled to accept and seek out harsh words. It can become a form of emotional self-harm, and it's important to acknowledge that trying to get people to "do their worst" is often rooted in attempt to push or numb oneself in a way that might not be healthy.

At the end of the day, it really comes down to familiarity and knowing was is and isn't acceptable to the person/group/culture, but that takes two things.

First, if people don't feel comfortable saying somebody went too far, if that's "ruining the fun", then you aren't actually staying in the lines of acceptable. If "anything goes" is the only right answer, there will always be people pressured into hearing things that genuinely upset and hurt them long term for the privilege of being deemed 'able to hang'.

Second, you have to consider what culture you're building. Even if everyone involved is having fun, who might not feel comfortable getting involved? Who listening are your jokes at the expense of?

[frumfrumfroo]

(Sorry if I am belabouring the point, so feel free to ignore this ask) no yeah I'm definitely the same way and you're never wrong for having personal reasons not getting into something immediately - I think some of the fandom anxiety comes from the fact that things get cancelled so quickly without sufficient viewership (or even with sufficient viewership, which is a whole other nut). It puts a weird amount of onus of a show's success on the fandom, which is even stranger in the time of broken trust and active resentment of audiences/audience engagement with a text/trying to 'outsmart' us. But ultimately there is something severely rotting at the root that I don't think we have any control over.

And yeah the popular perception of TD season 1 is that it's grimdark because its protagonist is deeply wounded and many a fanboy is butthurt about its celebration of redemption. It's an incredibly, incredibly dark show, and so that tragic beginning is hard for a lot of people to get past, I think, when it's not the final conclusive thematic remark*. I would say that Dark is similar to this if you want an idea of the tone. Somehow we have ended up where the children's modern day fairytale is grimdark and nihilistic and shows inured in tragedy are idealistic and redemptive.

Anyway, very thankful for your blog in keeping me sane in the time of psychedelic narrative rules, and being Principled, because sometimes I feel like a stick in the mud lol.

And the asterisk is there up above because I have heard this exact description of a popular book series (A Song of Ice and Fire) and I disagree with this conclusion, partly because the series is unfinished, partly because I think the fanbase on Tumblr is overly optimistic, and also because TD has an absolute conclusion which is idealistic. So I just want to note this so it doesn't seem like I'm misrepresenting or overstating the show lololol.

It's also extremely unsavoury the way big name fans and the former twitter cabal, wherever that hangs out now, will take advantage of this anxiety and use it as a bludgeon to make a captive audience feel like they have some 'duty' to support the financial success of giant evil corporations. Giving Disney more money and bullying people for not giving Disney more money is not a moral victory, I think we should all be able to agree. Abusing calls to support artists by co-opting them into the service of mindless consumption of branded refuse is fairly repugnant. Saying 'vote with your dollars' between a choice of Disney Extruded Movie Product A, B, or C is both hilarious and sad.

eg: that tie-in comic, I think it was the TLJ one? The one with the terrible art. It's a commissioned product, the artist was paid once and as little as possible to create it for solely marketing purposes. Applying fandom etiquette to it or saying it should not be criticised because of high turnover times is frankly fucking ridiculous. It's a professional commissioned product they were selling for profit. They had all the time and all the money in the world, there's no excuse for it to be awful and absolutely no one should have felt obligated to buy it or keep quiet about how bad it was. Maybe the artist could have done better under better working conditions, but that doesn't make the actual product we're being asked to purchase acceptable. Giving Disney your money is not going to improve those conditions and it's not going to help that artist.

The same with the tros defenders saying they tried therefore you can't criticise them. A) they did not try B) this was not a sincere piece of art and pretending otherwise is just insulting and C) it's a corporate product made by a near-monopoly who employed alleged professionals. Nothing could possibly be more fair game for harsh criticism.

Ultimately putting this onus on fandom of you must throw your money away on this thing or be a free shill for this brand or maybe they'll stop throwing us any crumbs... like it's debasement. Given all the many recent examples of how public support doesn't matter unless it's that first weekend a show drops on a streaming platform or the opening box office, how being the 'wrong' audience makes you irrelevant no matter how many of you there are, how even very successful shows are dropped after two seasons because producers don't want to pay actors, etc. etc. it's even more silly. We should be demanding better, not propping up this nonsense. Creative people are being profoundly fucked over by this system and are often still fucked even if they make something successful.

If people want to support artists, buy independent and small label media. Go see original, mid-budget movies at the cinema (if you live in a city where you have any chance of one playing, that is).

And see, I have no problem with darkness, angst, and tragedy if I know it's going somewhere positive. Having to really go through it can make the journey and the ultimate conclusion feel even more rewarding. As long as it's not angst for angst's sake, but is doing something meaningful and necessary, it only enriches the hope at the foundation of redemption or recovery stories.

Idealism is brave, challenging, and requires sincerity. When the modern fairy tales are being produced in cynicism and by committee to meet a quota for the shareholders...

Thank-you ❤️

[getindumdums]

I noticed you said you liked 12 and 03. I was wondering what’s your opinion on both versions of Raph?

I do really like both. Something I love about all Raphs is that they care so DEEPLY about their family. They’re so protective of them, and seeing them get angry when that sibling is harmed means a lot to me.

I prefer 03, but either way I think their relationship with their Mikey is underrated. They both care so deeply about their bro. Mikey in both iterations is a little shit and deserves to get chased around for his antics. Hilarious sibling behavior, so real, I lived it with my bro. That kind of younger sibling, doesn’t matter how strict, caring, or times you tell them no, they will mess with you just to get your attention. Including tackling you to the ground.

While 12 Raph misses some marks from me. Like if they were trying to create 03 Raph again because he was so great but missed slight things on what did make him great. Still really fun though. He’s still a favorite for the 12 series me. 03 Raph is a grade A “tough character who’s also a sweetheart” and I am HERE for it. My favorite in the 03 series followed by Mikey and Don. Cool, sassy, and he makes good points. Something about a character who gets frustrated by their environment or a bunch of little things has always intrigued me.

And I think it’s because my twin sister is like that. She’s always stepped up to take on a lot of responsibilities, and faced unfair expectations and criticism. She’s always been so protective, supportive and caring and loving to us, her family. A big reason why I love Rise Raph is because his frustration stems from pressure and stress. It’s so important, so real.

Actually I feel like I should add a big reason why I love sassy “A-hole” characters is because both my sister and my dad have that ability to shoot back a witty, insulting remark. And they’re just such important, healthy figures in my life. I see a character like Raph and I see family, I know who this character is.

[lassieposting]

Incorrect ways to respond to abuse from obnoxious and antisocial passers-by shouting that you’re fat:

Running away

Walking faster

Displaying discomfort

Crying

Feeling bad

Looking embarrassed

Holding a memory of the event for longer than 30 seconds

Correct ways to respond to abuse from obnoxious and antisocial passers-by shouting that you’re fat:

*uncontrollable laughter*

“Are you okay?”

both of the above

“Do you have nothing better to do?”

“That’s lovely Raymond”

“Thank you for sharing that in-formation”

“It’s okay, I’m on my period too, I get it”

“Go lose at Fortnite or whatever I don’t have time for your noise”

“Fuck you”

“Still out of your league, babydick”

“Better a fat ass than a skinny penis”

“The politically correct term is ‘thicc’ tyvm”

“I see you have unresolved issues with your mum”

“Don’t take what you want to say to your ugly girlfriend out on me”

“This ass is worth more than your dead-end job”

“Go take your fucking heroin Sean”

“God hates you!”

“Yo Hi-Tek, you think you can fuck with something like this?”

“Yo what you mean, something like this?”

“Yeah that’s perf’, Yo-Landi do that thing”

“Hit me with the ching-ching” *middle finger*

“I fucked your dad and if he’s anything to go by I’m not interested in you”

“You were born from boring sex and it shows”

“Your face, my ass, I think I’m still winning cocksucker”

But really, this is motivation, Lassie! They were trying to help you! Remember, the thing that drives most people to the gym in the beginning is seething, roiling, steaming self-hatred, and once they get over the hump what keeps them there is self-love after they shed the flab and reveal the Olympic deity within

Suffering is progress, pain is the path, the struggle is salvation

Keep going gym

—

I strongly disagree that this kind of shit is motivational, ngl. It made me want to turn around, go home and bury my face in a kingsize tub of Ben & Jerry’s. There are definitely people who respond well to nastiness as motivation - hell, look at how they train soldiers in the army, that’s a solid 70% getting roared at and insulted by some meathead drill sergeant, and they seem to thrive on it. But I’m not one of them. I respond well to praise and encouragement, and very badly to criticism, especially if it’s unwanted, unwelcome and coming from complete strangers. 

But some of these suggestions are hilarious and I’m very touched you took the time to type them out for me <3. Another friend suggested wordlessly screaming as loud and long as possible in order to appear unhinged, which would also be deeply funny if I could pull it off. My entire life has been a performance of quiet, unassuming congeniality in order to Fit In, so doing something like that is. Almost unthinkable? It was drummed into me as a tiny child being bullied that the #1 way to deal with that shit is to pretend you didn’t even hear it, and thus avoid confrontation, and unfortunately that’s now basically embedded in my DNA - I do it automatically, before I even realise I’m reacting at all. By the time I’ve parsed what was said, realised it was said to me, and the anger has overwhelmed my automatic “Ignore It, Be The Bigger Person” response, I’ve already walked past them, and I’d look even sillier coming back like “Well actually -”

(Yes, I am angry that this was the only method of dealing with conflict I was ever taught. I despise being a conflict-avoidant people-pleaser, but it’s so deep-rooted I don’t even notice I’m doing it, most of the time, until the conflict has Gone Away and I have come out of Emergency Shutdown Mode.)

“You were born from boring sex and it shows”

[the-ultimate-seamstresss]

RE: Bugsnax AU, I think you could make some rough equivalents out of numerous DR characters and grumpuses. In some cases, you can easily imagine similar characters taking the parts, but in others? I think it'd just be fun to see these different personalities filling that kind of role. So with that in mind, I'd say:

Elizabert = Komaru. Not just because she 'bites off more than she can chew' sometimes, but really because...

Eggabell = Toko. The sort of "angrily ordering you to take care of yourself" mentality just fits... and ofc, Tokomaru = Win.

Filbo = This one was a struggle for me. I ultimately felt that Kaito offers a fun combination of self-declared "best friend" and relative ineptitude to fill the role, and it'd be neat to see how his outwardly confident personality contrasts with someone like Filbo.

Gramble = Gonta. Of course. A pure bug-loving soul.

Cromdo = Kokichi. I think this would be hilarious — Kokichi as a grifting salesman-type.

Beffica = Kotoko? Hiyoko? Either could work, albeit with slightly different spins on the role. If we want to lean into her conflict with Cromdo, then Hiyoko is a better option.

Shelda = Angie. They both love providing phony-ass wisdom from on high.

Snorpy = On the one hand, Kazuichi is smart and seems more likely to believe utterly insane conspiracies. But on the other hand, it'd be really funny to see Chihiro be the one who believes in the Illuminati or whatever. They're definitely smart, and this opens up the chance for his partner to be...

Chandlo = Mondo. Liftin' your crib, dawg.

Floofty = Matsuda seems like a really easy pick for someone who is both very intelligent AND deeply misguided as well as insulting towards others, but... nah, I think it's more fun to make this Izuru. I think the acerbic "I'm better than you" attitude and Kamukura's deadpan delivery combined with literally insane ideas would be a delightful gold mine. :)

This leaves me with Triffany and Wambus. And I'm... at a loss on those two, frankly. Any ideas?

I was thinking about doing this as well, just been at a loss for who would be who. I do like a lot of suggestions you got there!! Unfortunately I haven't played nor know anything about Ultra Despair Girls so I'll have to replace some characters. But I think I'll keep a majority of these suggestions, like Hiyoko and Kokichi. That's a very interesting dynamic!

As for Wambus and Triffany,, hmm,,, I was thinking maybe Sakura and Hina? And maybe replacing Gonta with Gundham(or maybe not I'll put more thought into it). I just thought the dynamic between Sakura and Gundham would be interesting but I may change my mind

And I'm struggling to decide whether I should include the Reporter into the au. And if so, who should it be? I was thinking maybe Shuichi but, as much as I dislike him, Hajime would be interesting.

But as for Eggabell and Lizbert,, since I don't know a lot about Komaru and Toko, I'll have to replace them. That is the hardest decision that I just can't figure out. Let me know what you guys think! Any suggestions??

(btw If anyone wants to draw the Grumpuses from this au, feel free but please credit -<3)

[fandomsandkittens]

Thanks for answering my ask, if you don't mind me asking (again), who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Hi, again! I would be happy to answer this question too. You will find that I'm a fan of enemies to lovers, because I just find the banter hilarious. My top five romantic couples are:

Jude and Carden (The Folk of the Air series) - Words cannot describe how much I love this couple. Carden fell hard for Jude long before she fell for him, and I love their dynamic. Carden is supposed to be the dangerous one due to being a fairy, but Jude, the human, turns out to be the most dangerous person in Elfhame and feared by everyone, which Carden finds attractive. They are so interesting and lovable. I cannot wait to see them in the Stolen Heir sequel next year!

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) - These two are the blueprint for enemies to lovers. I don't know what it is about them that makes me love their relationship so much. It's just so classic. They insult each other to their faces in a time when manners were everything, and Mr. Darcy still protected the image of Elizabeth's family after she refused his proposal. Also, the hand flex in the movie. Enough said.

Mina and Jonathan (Dracula) - We all participated in Dracula Daily last year. I should not have to explain how wonderful this couple is. Their love is pure. I have no words.

Nick and Jess (New Girl) - While watching New Girl, I rooted for this couple so much. They perfectly complemented each other personality-wise. Also, their first kiss was one of the best first kisses I have ever seen in media.

Kyo and Tohru (Fruits Basket) - Kyo and Tohru were always meant to be a couple, especially due to Kyo having historical ties to both Tohru and her mother without Tohru realizing it. They both experienced extreme trauma growing up and helped each other through it in their own ways. Tohru loved Kyo unconditionally when everyone else excluded him. She refused to leave him or allow him to leave. Kyo protected Tohru and made sure she had a safe place to live. They care for each other deeply, and I loved watching their journey.

[icharchivist]

icha!! it’s been a while since I’ve sent one of these in but! I finally started summer troupe act 2! so. here’s my commentary lol. only gotten thru the first 8 episodes but so far my feeling is this: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that’s it. has anyone ever made the su(m)meragi pun yet. (I chose the first m in summer bc it’s the red m on tenma’s jacket)

ok for real this time I’ll go in chronological order but. I am naturally predisposed to like kumon I think bc seeing his sprite I immediately went oh I ADORE you in my head. like I saw him and was like YOU! I love you and I would kill for you. is that normal idc. also I had his bday card when I played a3 so special affection as he was the only rookie ssr I had. but it’s just! he’s just like :D how could I ever reject him?? he’s got such a lovely smile!!

these were the thoughts I had starting up and then. well and then I immediately bust out laughing bc.

me: nice to meet you kumon, my dearest, sweet summer child—

kumon, about natsugumi: “they only do comedy, right? no offense, but doing plays with nothing but stupid, empty gags sounds pretty lame to me.”

me: …ah. so you’ve chosen death, then.

just kidding I LOVE when characters r assholes. this doesn’t even make my initial impression wrong bc kumon is still such an absolute sweetheart but I think it’s so funny. immediately I was like. oh I cannot wait to throw tenma at him it would be hilarious. he’d take it as a personal challenge. and like he absolutely did so I was right lmao. juza chiding him immediately is very good. I do love how kumon is like banri hater #1 but speedruns his disinterest in like. 3 days it’s great. I just feel like even tho they’re very different ppl they actually would have things in common and hate to admit it. and kumon is like u have pretty hair! when he means to insult him lol. anyways the reactions to that comment r so good. yuki going “he sounds like a certain hack when he first joined” and then misumi doing an impression of tenma saying “im not a comedy guy” was sooo good, I definitely felt the voice was recognizably tenma even as I didn’t remember the line misumi was quoting so. that’s how u know it’s good.

I am sooo deeply interested in juza’s reluctance regarding kumon acting as well as how kumon brushes off his whole baseball team situation. like clearly it was more complex than him quitting. this is smthing I do have to say which is that I unfortunately got a little spoiled and so I know kumon has some kind of health issues, which I assume is the reason he quit. didn’t muku quit track and field due to a sports injury, too…? wild. but anyways the way kumon talks abt the baseball team and having that… settled is so. awkward and unsure and uncomfortable tho. made me remember like. ah. there’s a bunch of times I’ve not wanted to elaborate about suddenly fucking up something really badly, too…

idk. it’s very interesting bc juza clearly knows what’s up with kumon but seeing how he reacts to the baseball stuff I’m not sure if he knows… Everything? it makes me want to dig into their sibling dynamic a bit more

but then tenma steps in and invites kumon to the road show!! i clutched my heart I was like oh he’s come so far as a leader… sigh, even though summer troupe rightfully teases him, he’s quite reliable, isn’t he? im so going to extrapolate all of this into the tenma juza dynamic thoughts later ofc. but the way yuki and sakyo r both like “free labor” in response to tenma’s suggestion… adds one more point to my feeling that yuki probably has the like most financial knowledge regarding the troupe next to sakyo.

also ace pitcher for the baseball team!! that is really not something u just… quit. I am excited to see the full story there. it seems like kumon gets a lot of anxiety? which. extremely relatable i not only panic often but I can panic pretty hard. but tenma was so nice, being so oblivious like ah I bet u can’t sleep the night before a big trip! pfft. love that yuki knew he was looking up tourist info bc he could hear him muttering, but clearly since tenma didn’t know that he knew, it meant that yuki heard him and just. didn’t tell him to shut up. is he just used to ignoring tenma’s voice so he slept easily. idk.

like I said kumon and banri kinda feel similar in some ways to me. I rly love how they squabble. and that juza is like doing his own thing and they r like mutually fighting so jimins defense of his brother is kind of ineffective lol

i cheered when tenma was like oh guess I’m sitting with u kumon. and then I realized. ah. it’s rookie and leader as the leads. idiot. ofc they’re gonna set up a dynamic. the story was not responding to u wanting to throw tenma at kumon. (also, the train background also rly looks like an airplane?) but it’s been so long since I’ve seen the a3 kids and stuff that whenever tenma shows up I wanna reach through the screen and hug him. i love them.

also it’s so cute that kumon calls juza niichan. I get why the translation just has it as juza but. I can hear. and! kumon like almost immediately being proven wrong and apologizing was so fun. its also rly interesting to see how he’s sorta cautious and hesitant around tenma abt stuff while tenma is like. immediately nice! the kumon sprite when he’s nervous genuinely tugs at my heart so easily. it’s just like the side eye the uncomfortable vibes. please be okay. but I love seeing tenma be nice. like, kumon gushing over how cool juza is as lansky and then tenma praising juza’s fight choreography as due to his experience! he’s so. man he’s rly so. like it’s such a natural follow up to how very clearly tenma noticed and adored the specific quirks of his summer troupe in act 1… ofc he notices these things abt the other actors! not to get all teary abt it but. tenma… it’s kinda nice like this, yknow? to have someone that might be just excited abt what he has to say. although I love it when summer troupe teases him haha. but the way kumon was like oh wow! what was ur second play like! and tenma was like. we… we can talk about that later… like lmao no one wants to discuss sardine search.

again wild how ready kumon is to just square up with banri. I’m glad it did not actually happen. I was confused at first as to why kumon was to totally blown away by water me, and then I checked and it seemed like juza just came alone to see muku’s performance? tho muku obviously admires juza im kind of interested in exactly how close he was with kumon, since it doesn’t seem like they know each other That Well.

love how when homare is like let’s go to paris! for a road show, hisoka’s response is that it’s too far which is a pain. im taking the fact that he didn’t say anything else that he’s fluent in french and would be fine, so it’s literally just distance.

when kumon’s like asking to be tested to get in, juza tells him ”you can’t give up and quit in the middle like you did with your baseball team” which. I do think juza feels a lot of responsibility for mankai so I assume that’s part of him being a little harsh but I really feel the baseball thing is a bit more complicated. but yuki saying that kumon is tenmas responsibility… nice! honestly I was so surprised he actually had to ask to join natsugumi after he passed his audition bc like. I just assumed they’d adopted him already lol. anyways KUMON LIKES THE TRIANGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re sharp and pointy like his brother! so sweet.

for the rehearsals kumons va was very good at showing how rough he is regarding acting! I feel like kumon in general has this like, overexcitement in his voice that rly bleeds thru like even when he’s improved a little? god I love the acting in this game. tenma coaching him was so good… the way like u could see kumon directly improve and then audibly smile when tenma complimented him… so sweet! tenmas gotten a lot nicer hasn’t he.

when igawa showed up I had a fear response just bc. I don’t like tenmas parents. I think tenma can deal with them fine but that doesn’t mean I like it for him. wish he wasn’t the lead. but an audition chance! very cool… the famed director that’s like known overseas is called shirasawa, and I have to wonder if that’s a reference to like. akira kurosawa films? like… kuro-sawa -> shiro-sawa -> shirasawa. just a thought lol bc he’s the only like. famous in the west japanese director i know, though the time period here is quite different. I made a lot of leaps. again kumon I feel is kinda hyper cautious? like he takes initiative to step back, worried he’s a burden, and then tenma is like. no. I’ll do everything I’m cool as hell. love him. also love chikage offering to set up covert bodyguards for him lol,, I rly feel like once he got over his this troupe is temporary I’m here to enact revenge! vibe he’s now like. ride or die for everyone lol. it is so funny to see yuki and tenma quietly talk to each other like. that’s… weird, right? subordinates? like it is so funny. outside of spring troupe how well does anyone sans hisoka know chikage.

I did like that when juza and muku were discussing kumons condition, juza being like. we’ll be there for him and let him make his own choices. development compared to when he was like muku stay away from me without even like. taking his feelings into consideration. the scene where kumon is like my brother has perfect abs and trying to. show them. he rly loves his brother lol. it rly got me tho when he was talking to muku and went “the closer I get to everyone and the more they help me out, the more I really want to become a part of this company” tho!! the translation didn’t specify but I definitely heard him say tenma-san and natsugumi so I checked yaycupcake and that’s who kumon specifies as “they”? which I thought was so sweet. I rly like their dynamic. my vision is kumon panics at some point, locks himself in the panic closet, tenma goes to find him, gets locked there too, and they don’t really even have a deep heart to heart but tenma falls asleep there and kumon is moved anyways bc he kind of understands how deeply he’s being cared for, to the point that even if he ducks up they still like him. tho I don’t know kumon’s exact issues.

was worried muku was gonna talk abt kumon’s condition to summer troupe secretly so I was very glad he just said he was pressured! which literally anyone could notice. and I thought it was cute how summer troupe cheered him on. the moment I read kazuko and I was like ah… they’re all cute girls! one more tick towards my “all female summer troupe play” vision. love sakyo being like he’s got a lot of drive unlike SOMEONE abt kumon. and banri is like yeah I wonder who…? it’s great.

and kumons audition!! he reminds izumi of sakuyas first moments!!!! thinking abt how tenma joined summer troupe due to a deep admiration of sakuya in the first place. thinking abt how he’s teaching kumon now. and tenma calling him “student of mine” love it.

juza: …

izumi: he looks happy that his brother passed the audition!

me: …I think you might need some expression practice, izumi

again it’s so funny that kumon has to ask to join natsugumi bc I had totally assumed he already pivoted there post-road show. still this is very cute. and it’s wild that tenma is like oh? like he’s surprised. like. it’s so obvious how much he likes u guys lol. once again tho kumon’s a bit hesitant abt it and tenma and natsugumi r all like hell yeah kumon welcome on board. paused here bc it seemed like a good place to take a break! I am… very excited for what comes next.

KIRIII HI!!!! it's been so long but it's always a pleasure <33 take your time always, but what a pleasure to see your takes again!!

AND HELP. Someone should definitely make that pun, it's right here. come on.

AND HELP. I'd say yes it's normal to love Kumon at first sight, he's just So Shapped. He has a lovely smile, he looks radiant like the sun, he's a ball of energy, he's just. Everything about him is SO endearing i adore him. I'm so glad you felt like that right away, he deserves all the love (and i'm so glad he kept you company in the a3 server when you were playing!)

DLKFJDLKFJDF WHAT A FIRST INTRODUCTION THEN LMAO.

But yeah Kumon really has a stellar introduction, he's sweet but the way he immediately dismises Summer is like. hold on. no wait you don't know them like we do hold on. and yeah i love how they point out right away that it's just like Tenma because, yeah! it's just like Tenma! and now everyone can clown on BOTH Tenma AND Kumon at once! congratulation everyone! But god yeah i love how Kumon immediately goes to Banri's throat and then mostly is chill around him. i love how he can't insult anything other than his hair and how Banri is genuinely more affected by Kumon's comments on his hair than if Kumon had thrown real insult. so funny.

aw waaa 🥺🥺 of course i won't say a thing about all that's going on with the Hyodo, i'll just confirm to you that yes, Muku did leave the track team because of an injury yes! But for the rest, there's still so much to discover. But also oof mood on the "not wanting to elaborate suddenly on something you fucked up" thing.

:3c looking forward your reactions to the whole Hyodo arc then.

BUT YES YES YES!! This chapter really shows Tenma's growth so well and the way he tries to work it out with Kumon (while at this point, while we know Kumon is the Summer rookies, no one knows it yet, so Tenma is just helping out just because!! Probably also seeing himself out of the whole anti comedy thing like "oh my sweet sweet summer child" (literally) it's so sweet).

and yeah so true i think Yuki is the one with the most knowledge on that front, aside from Sakyo of course.

eheheh :3c. AND HELPP YEAH!! Tenma is so sweet and i love again how his dynamic with Yuki shines through in that bit like. truly the roommates who know each other too well at this point. rip.

AND DLKFJDFKL. the Kumon&Banri&Juza dynamic really is hilarious.

but waaa so cute :sob: so true on the hugs though, they really seem so huggable, and Tenma especially is so good this chapter. Like yeah of course the leader/rookie dynamic is expected but it's so nice to see them go through it rather organically.

YEAAH i love how he calls Juza niichan too <333 the perks of being able to catch a few of the words in Japanese when spoken. AND YEAH… Kumon at least completely speedrun his "comedy is alright actually" bit that Tenma half denied most of his own arc god bless. and you're SO right about everything you say about Tenma. Like, it really showcase just how far he has come and how he came to really notice and appreciate the good quirks everyone can have and ahhhhh he's so good. and i love that he can be here for Kumon and while Kumon is uncomfortable for now (probably the mix superstar + "i kinda insulted his whole troupe's thing while now i see i was wrong" embarassment) it's really sweet to see how into it he gets when they talk about those things. and they should talk about the sardine search more. Dance kitty cat dance.

yeah Juza came alone to Water Me. Oh if ever you feel like it, there's Juza's New Year SSR ( " SSR - [Chilling Out at Home] - "New Year's with the Hyodo Family") in the Archive that is set before Kumon's arrival, which showcase a bit the Hyodo/Sakisaka relationship before Kumon joined Mankai. obviously won't say much more about Muku and Kumon.

DLKFJDFLKDF i love this. Everything is a good reason to read more into Hisoka's multilanguage attributes.

oh the whole Hyodo drama muah. I LOVE how the summer troupe immediately steps in for Kumon though :sob: they really did imprint him on him right away didn't they. AND YEAH ANOTHER TRIANGLE ENJOYER HELL YEAH.

YEAAH the voice acting in a3 is so good at conveying so much character in how good or bad the whole acting is, like, how much you can feel them, as actors, behind those lines. Kumon especially since he's the personification of the sun itself so he just spills out sunshine everywhere when he talks he's so cute. and i LOVe how good Tenma is with him, he improved so much and got so much nicer :sob:

mood for Tenma's parents. and! for the diretor, That's actually very likely, that'd make sense at least :o could be just a reference without it being supposed to be modern and all. god this arc is good. And YEAH FOR CHIKAGE. really went from "this whole company means nothing to me and i will burn it down" to "anyway what can i do for my precious company right now", best character development. AND HELPPP. Yeah, i assume outside of spring and winter people don't know Chikage much aside from "he bailed on us at some point and we all saw him date the director, what was up with that". Spring at least knew something was off with him and Winter knew something was off with Hisoka because of him. but for the rest?? Esp the kids??? god Chikage speedrunning from weirdo stranger to weird uncle is incredible.

Juza and Muku working together for Kumon's sake 🥺 it's really so cute and it does show how they evolved in term of problem solving with other people. Kumon is so cute. And yeah this is so sweet!!! Summer really is doing a number on him right away!! Like it's just really soft how, Kumon wanted to join the company for Juza, to be with Juza, and all of that and just… how quickly Summer grew on him that now he's kinda here for himself instead. and for those people who cheered for him then. It's so soft. I love your vision on how this arc would go aaa

Muku is handling the situation so well!! honestly he deals with Kumon's situation with so much care i almost forgot he was younger than him at a time, Muku really tries hard to take care of him as he can there as a senpai. AND HELL YEAH for the all female summer troupe play. They're all ready for this. dFLKJDFDF SAKYO. And Banri is that Garfield picture isn't it.

AND YEEEE ON THE IMPRESSION IZUMI HAS OF KUMON. associating him with Sakuya's enthusiasm and everything and having Tenma mentoring him… it's all very sweet.

AND HELP. hey maybe Izumi is right, we don't know (yet) what's in Juza's head! who knows!

AND RIGHT… Natsugumi really just took care of Kumon just because as if it wouldn't cause him to Be Attached just as quickly for it. it's so sweet.

Thank you once again for your detailled thoughts, it's a blast to read through and it makes me relive those arcs which is always so good. I'm glad you're having fun and are totally getting into the stuff that are being set up!! it's going to be a trip!

Always looking forward more of your thoughts, and thank you again for sharing <3333 Take care!

[pizzapasta23045]

Mood. I like a balance of headcanons tbh. Like- how there’s fics that are canon compliant and then there’s canon compatible. There’s nothing saying this can’t be true, but it’s not something you’d find in the lore. And that can be genuinely fun! And sometimes there’s some lovely worldbuilding accompanying those things and I’m just!!! Because I can just rotate that in my brain endlessly. Like yes please tell me more about this subject it fascinates me. But I also like when I can see a headcanon and go- oh yeah! I can see that! That makes sense! (See- every autistic hc I’ve come across regarding genshin impact) Or ones that are just- hugely based on projection on my part. I really enjoyed Colleis character because of the canonical chronic pain/illness. Getting worn out easily, having issues with mobility sometimes? Mood.

Fandom can genuinely be really fun in this regard. While some things that become fanon are frustrating- others can be lovely.

Nah legit! Fandom culture is spoon fun once you cut out the cringe culture bitches!!! Fucking fun! Hilarious! Love that for me!

Tbh, though scarce, disability and neurodiverse content is much much easier to find and much better than a lot of fandoms I've been in, but also somehow a bit more hated? It's this interesting phenomenon I've noticed with genshin, the fact that it attracts such a wide slice of the population, from people that actively engage in cringe culture to people who are deeply and happily "cringe" (cringe is not an insult to me in this case) so yeah... Both sides of the coin tbh.

It's cool that it's relatively popular, at least. And it's been getting more and more popular with newer fandoms, which is great!

And yeah, I'm a chronic hc rotator, sometimes shit comes to mind and I play with it for a while before just moving on to the next detail. (Currently it's between neurodivergent content and Khaenri'ah so yeah....)

About autistic hcs: I don't hc every single popular character as autistic (Diluc strikes me more as a PTSD kind of guy tbh and Shenhe as a cluster-b disorder gal, Chongyun I can see go either way)

(Cluster-b is the group of trauma-induced disorders that includes borderline, BPD, narcissism, psychopathy and the likes. In Shenhe's case more the first two than the the rest, though I haven't looked which is best suited so yeah)

But I do also engage with a lot of content on them as autistic because it's just fun! Fandom is just fun and i love that shit!

So yeah...

[artichokefunction]

this is bad. this is bad. this is bad. most of your abdomen is gone. this is bad. this is bad. you need to. you need to notify the handler. you need. the. the. the. the switch. on finger two. finger two. you need to. this is bad. finger two. under the silicon. under the. under the. there it is. there it is. the switch. switch to red. switch to left. switch to bad. this is bad. this is bad. click. there we go. there we go. alright. alright. alright. alright. alright. all good.

you find the agent in almost two pieces, connected weakly by a strip of stomach tissue. the leaves of the bushes it was thrown under are spattered with red and pink. that's a biosecurity hazard honestly, but you don't have the time to clean that up. this is an emergency. your agent is- it is- you kneel down next to its head. it's periscopic eye focuses on you, for a second, before going blank. you check its pulse. there's one beat... and a second... nothing. alright. okay. okay. you need to- oh god. you need to get it into the truck. it's awkward and terrible but you pick up both halves at once so nothing else is torn and get it inside the truck. you can't fix this. not here, with this equipment. hey, dude, i'm gonna call up the albatross and see if he'll let us use their equipment. alright? yeah. you sound *way* closer to tears then you thought you did. you have to. um. i'm gonna go up to the drivers seat for a second, but i'm not leaving. i promise. you're gonna be alright. i just need to make a call. fuck. fuck. don't cry. cmon. you are in the drivers seat and you are breathing deeply. you are calming down. you need to make a phone call. yeah, you're fine now. there we go. alright. dialling. hello? bird man?

Gangrene! I don't hear from you too often! How's it hanging?

hilarious. and pretty bad, actually. i need to use your regen tech for a couple hours. my agent is... dead. my stuff's not gonna cut it for this.

Ah, I see. Well, that's gonna cost ya... uh, let's see here. he starts audibly flipping through a book, the fucker. then he slams it on the table. I'm messing with you. It's free this time.

thanks man. seriously.

Very seriously! You're not as good at hiding tears as you think you are.

shut up egg man. he laughs at that.

How long do you think the drive over will take?

uhh, probably like. 55 minutes. i'm not all that close.

I'll have everything set up for you by the time you arrive. Drive safe.

thanks again, man. you hang up before they can insult you again. call success. you consider going to the back to check on it again, but it would still be- fuck. it's sharp, smart eyes, the way they'd snap from one subject to another, but linger on you for just a bit longer then everything else. the way its dead eyes stared up at you from the short, bloodied grass. you aren't crying too much to drive. you'll be okay. it will too.

-

[state your name and business.]

hello, this is sonic 2 & knuckles, and we're here to, uhh, defeat the evil dr eggman.

[...what? oh, uhh... hang on.]

...

[entry granted. please make your way to the second basement layer.]

thank you.

you navigate your little truck through the facility. it's been a while since you were here, but you still more or less remember where to go. the albatross would definitely tease you if you got lost.

There you are! It's all set up for you.

thanks man. it's in the back. i'm gonna need help moving it, if that's alright.

Sure, yeah. And next time

you show up, please don't confuse my security staff so much.

i needed to make sure you knew it was me! i promise nothing, that was effective encrypted communication.

you and them step into the back of the truck, and they get a good look at the agent. he's silent for a minute, which is funny, they aren't usually. you and him move the agent out of the truck and into the big boxy regeneration machine. he knows that you know how this thing works, he leaves you to strip it of its gear and get the necessary info inputted. once the thing has gotten to work, you just kinda stand there and watch the display, as it slowly and steadily rebuilds your agent. your machine has one focal bit, this has six. it's somewhat hypnotic to watch, even on the shitty pixelated display. after about 20 minutes you are brought a drink. some sort of fruit juice. they said what flavour, you just weren't listening. it's good. there's probably something you can do to repay the albatross for all this. maybe just money, you're not horribly short on that. finally, finally, finally, its vitals come back online. quiet, unsteady heartbeat. there isn't any work needed on its head, so you open the upper quarter of the machine.

-

air in your lungs. cloth under your hands. you- you try to- you open your eyes. concrete. oh wait, this is probably the uhh. the place. where you got your jump boosters installed. alright. you recognise the feeling of yourself being rebuilt. you stay still. the handler comes into your line of sight. their face splits into an expression you don't recognise. like joy, but with more tears. dude, i was so fucking- worried! i was scared! i- i thought i would lose you, i- i- you carefully close your eyes, then open them again. slow blink. affection. it lands, they start laughing. still crying. very weird emotion. she takes your head in his hands, very carefully, and rests their forehead against yours. it's nice. warm and familiar. you let your eyes close, and just enjoy the moment. i love you, dude. so much.

[sciencestyled]

How Ragnar Lodbrok Learned We Almost Got Yeeted by Nature and Decided to Educate You All

It all began one fine morning as I stood atop my longship, pondering the most pressing issue of our time: why the mead always runs out before the storytelling gets good. Life, I thought, was a peculiar little game of survival, and we Vikings played it with gusto—pillaging, raiding, and occasionally arguing over who got to name the livestock.

But then something strange happened. A peculiar visitor arrived at my encampment, claiming to be a "scientist." He looked harmless enough, with his parchment and quills and strange inability to wield an axe. He told me of a "genetic bottleneck" and how humanity had once been reduced to a mere smattering of individuals, teetering on the edge of oblivion like a warrior with too much ale on a narrow plank.

"Ragnar," he said, "you must understand—900,000 years ago, humans almost went extinct. It’s a miracle we’re here today."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying my ancestors were almost bested by a mere act of nature? Was it a frost giant? A colossal sea serpent? Speak plainly, man!"

"No," he replied, adjusting his spectacles. "It was likely climate change, environmental shifts, and a whole lot of bad luck."

Bad luck. The words echoed in my mind like the hollow clang of a missed sword swing. The notion that my lineage had nearly been wiped out by something as intangible as bad fortune offended me deeply. If anyone was going to obliterate my bloodline, it would be me—and only after some spectacularly bad decisions involving rival kings and possibly fire-breathing dragons.

Curious—and, let’s face it, slightly insulted—I pressed him further. He unfurled a map of ancient migration routes and genetic studies, explaining how humans had been reduced to a population of a few thousand individuals, huddling together like frightened sheep in some prehistoric apocalypse. It was as if my ancestors had been on the brink of leaving the saga unfinished, and I, Ragnar Lodbrok, had inherited the tail end of a nearly doomed story.

It was then that I realized this was no ordinary tale of survival. It was a saga of cosmic proportions, a reminder that even the mightiest of species could be laid low by forces beyond their control. And yet, here we are, strutting about like we own the world, arguing over whose TikTok video has the most likes. It’s both humbling and, frankly, hilarious.

But what really struck me—and I mean struck, like a well-aimed mace—was the eerie resemblance between ancient humanity's plight and our own foolishness today. Here we are, merrily burning through resources, ignoring the omens of environmental collapse, and squabbling over shiny trinkets. It’s as if history is a massive wheel, spinning us toward the same mistakes, over and over again.

Fueled by a newfound sense of responsibility (and possibly a little too much mead), I decided that this story needed to be told—not with swords and shields, but with the magic of "videos" the scientist spoke of. These enchanted scrolls of moving pictures could reach more people than all my raids combined, and without anyone having to clean up after.

So, I sat down, dictated my thoughts (in between wolfing down roast boar), and called upon the scientist to create the video you are about to see. Consider it a saga for the modern age, a reminder of how close we came to the abyss and a warning not to waltz blindly into it again.

Watch, learn, and for Odin’s sake, recycle something. The ancestors didn’t claw their way out of extinction just so we could doom ourselves with plastic straws and Twitter arguments.

[elysianslove]

haikyuu boys that ━━

━━ would absolutely, definitely, 100% get nauseous, dizzy, possibly might faint, while their s/o is in labor. one peak and they’re doubling over the hospital bed, inhaling deeply and exhaling sharply, steeling themselves. some are surprising, some are expected. all are stupid.

iwaizumi hajime; he just cannot. he cannot fathom what is happening. there is no way you’re going through that and surviving. no wonder you’re screaming in pain. of course you’re screaming in pain. he takes one look at what’s going on and just immediately takes a step back, eyebrows raised and hand pressed to his chest like “my god.” he’s an 8/10 though because he is incredibly supportive and those arms are great to grab onto. will not complain for a second (is strangely way too quiet), but he’s worryingly pale. maybe he’s quiet cause if he speaks he’ll throw up. 

miya atsumu; he’s this close to screaming. or crying. possibly both. he can’t tell if he’s scared in general or scared for you or if he’s hurting seeing you hurting. in fact, no one can tell. he just looks like he’s watching an alien abduction happen right before his eyes. like a 6/10 because he probably does actually faint. it’s almost as if he’s the one in labor. and he’s the annoying kind of supportive that makes you want to smack him like shut the fuck up i’m pushing a whole child out of me right now. but his reactions are extremely endearing and hilarious to watch back because he most definitely insisted on filming. 

akaashi keiji; the silent struggler. really doesn’t wanna make it obvious at all. like he really, really, really doesn’t want you knowing that he’s uncomfortable in any way, but he’s like, sweating from how nauseous he is. a big part of it is hating seeing you in pain; he cringes every time you so much as groan or pant. 7/10 because he’s incredibly supportive but his hands are way too clammy :/ like fr get a grip keiji. again, supportive, but his voice is shaky so it’s like, really ineffective. he cries when he sees his baby and it automatically makes him an 11/10.

sakusa kiyoomi; absolute coward. pussy. it’s not about hygiene, he’s just genuinely mortified. keeps asking you’re okay like,,, what do you think, sir? he keeps looking even though every time he does it doesn’t get any better? question mark? you can see him visibly gulping cause he’s in so much shock. like a 5/10 because he forgets to hold your hand. just stands there. eyes wide and mouth parted like a dumb fish. chokes back on his sobs when he hears his baby’s cries and it’s adorable how he brings his hand up to silence himself so maybe he’s a 7/10.

goshiki tsutomu; please he probably has a panic attack mid labor. definitely screams with you and all the nurses and the doctor are like ???? holds your hand tighter than you’re holding his. apologizes the whole time. the whole time. like the doctor asked him if he wants to see what’s happening, which idk why they would consider that a smart idea, and he just wailed like, “baby i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry, can we just adopt?” a 3/10. he’s so cute but. bring someone else if you don’t want to rip your hair out and his. 

kageyama tobio; he absolutely tries to pretend that he’s okay but he just gets really, really quiet once you start delivering and his lips are chapped and his pupils are blown and his face is so pale. he looks like he just got off of a really bad rollercoaster. he’s not even holding your hand you’re just hanging onto an unmoving, lifeless limb. maybe 6/10, cause he could be better in the supportive department but, at least he was quietly panicking. he does have a mini panic attack once his baby is in his arms though. like just starts hyperventilating. it’s okay though! it’s actually kind of cute <3

lev haiba; actually faints. not probably. he actually faints. like all 6′5 of him just drops onto the floor by your bed and you’re like ,,, damn, guess i’m doing this alone then. he wakes up and the first thing he sees is your baby crowning and he just faints again pls. someone has to be there with you, just like to help him to you. he cannot stand straight at all, he’s leaning on the bed the whole time. 5/10 because it genuinely makes you laugh it kind of makes the pain bearable. they have to get a chair in case he just falls back cause he’s just so dizzy pls.

━━ would be so fucking annoying. who the hell let them in this room? why did you agree to this? how are you going to raise a child with them? regrets. so many regrets. 

tanaka ryūnosuke; he’s like annoyingly scared. shut up and calm down for a minute i’m trying to birth your child here. swears so much like “holy shit holy shit that’s a big baby.” like pls you’re trying to push it out of you and he has the audacity to say shit like that? treats it like it’s some sort of volleyball match like he cheers whenever the doctor praises you. maybe a 5/10 cause he’s just annoying, but it’s motivating in a way. accepts any insult you throw at him too, like he’s so on board with it. “yes, i’m absolutely a piece of shit— what do you mean you’re not getting anywhere near my dick babe wait.”

bokuto kōtarō; listen :( you don’t want to think he’s annoying but he lowkey is. he’s trying his hardest to make this an easier experience for you but you just need him to be a little quieter. like this hurts bo, calm down please. you want to match his energy but it’s literally physically impossible. he’s an 8/10 though because you doubt it’d have been possible to go through it without him. bokuto’s incredibly ripped too so he lets you hang onto him and he holds you tightly too, like grips your hands and legs so strong that it’s v physically supportive too. 

kozume kenma; he’s so. quiet. like say something kozume. say anything. he’s just wincing and cringing. 4/10 cause where’s the emotion. lets you hold his hand, like wow you should be honored. insults you back if you insult him???? like what’s that about???? when he sees his baby he does like, sharply intake a breath or whatever cause he doesn’t want to cry but he’s really struggling not to, which is kind of cute you guess. films the whole thing and does like a peace sign with a very nonchalant face but he has a filter on and the filter scans your face too except you’re like screaming. actually a 3/10. 

sugawara kōshi; he’s incredibly supportive yes, but mans will be laughing at you. laughing. at you. probably films you and is like properly giggling and laughing boisterously. is so unfazed by anything and everything he sees. he would so easily be a 10/10 but he becomes a -1/10 just cause he’s an ass. definitely like is breathless and is so mind-blown when he sees his baby. just in awe and in shock that he laughs like, “we made that holy crap.” good to have in the delivery room because he does make the atmosphere easier and more lighthearted, but,,, at what cost? your sanity’s. 

suna rintarō; the amount of times you wanted to punch him you cannot count on your ten fingers. makes some sex joke about how you’re so stretched out. you literally want to deck him. films the birthing process and makes you watch the video when you’re not even done delivering the baby? cause he’s insane i guess? justifies it as “this is a reminder of how strong you are,” like shut up with your bullshit. it’s kinda smart tho cause you can pull this on your kid later but still. he’s so fucking annoying. if you hold his hand too hard he’ll be like “it can’t be that bad stop being such a baby,” and the baby is delivered like an hour early out of spite. a 6/10 tho cause somehow you love him and decided to have a baby with him. 

ushijima wakatoshi; pt.2 to say fucking something??? he’s mostly quiet cause he doesn’t really know what to say, and cause he’s never seen you in this much pain and it’s kind of shocking him. he’s not scared though, cause it’s like, a natural process of human life and the life cycle and all that stuff, he’s just like. taking time to process it. lets you hold his hand though. also if you wanna like give up halfway through he’s annoyingly angry with you like “no. you can’t just give up halfway. stop being a coward.” like why don’t you give it a try toshi??? a 5/10. could do better. 

terushima yuuji; so hyperactive that it’s infuriating. doesn’t even hold your hand, he just stands back and observes and like cheers. literally will jump every time you push, like what the fuck, my love? makes really weird comments like “what does it feel like? does it feel like you’re pooping?” like???? it feels like i’m being torn in half yu :D a 4/10 only cause when you ask if you can slap him he wholeheartedly agrees and the doctor cannot hold their laugh back. also definitely plays like the chika dance and makes the nurses do it with him. probably films a tiktok too. you’re going to kill him after. 

oikawa tōru; he’s trying so hard to be supportive and your backbone but he’s just so jittery and nervous. he’s not going to faint or get nauseous, but he literally cannot stay still. he’s so anxious it’s making you anxious. his hands are shaking when they grip yours, but honestly, completely unbiased of course, an 8/10, cause it really is so endearing. like he’s breathlessly and exasperatingly praising you and you can tell he’s near tears just gasping back sobs so ,,, maybe he’s not that annoying. but he is. he is annoying. a little. 

━━ would be the best of the best. perfectly supportive. a lovely anchor. not too quiet, not too chatty. is so soft and gentle with you. you fall in love with them all over again. 

miya osamu; definitely a 10/10. husband material. he has a cloth that’s just patting away at your sweat. kisses your hand and knuckles. soothingly rubs at your thighs. tells you you’re doing great, that it’ll all be worth it. kisses your forehead. grins at you halfway through when you need that extra motivation. literally all the nurses and the doctor are swooning over him. he’s very nervous deep down but he won’t show it, not for a moment, for your sake. 10/10. can’t stress this enough. 

kita shinsuke; another king! so soft with you when you feel like giving up. just speaks to you in hushed tones like, “you’ve come this far, lovely. you can’t back out now. think of all the happy moments we’ll get to share just a few hours from now.” and you’re like “alright i’m sold.” completely unfazed by anything he sees. okay maybe a little fazed but he just kisses your forehead after sneaking a peak and tells you you’re doing wonderfully. 100000/10. imagine him as the father of your children???? like literally who else would you want????

aran ojiro; wow another inarizaki i sense a trend. except atsumu he’s a pussy. cheers you on quietly, holds onto your legs, breathes with you, smooths your hair back, literally just an angel. if you take a small break he just spends it quietly talking with you to get your mind off the pain. his knuckles are just caressing your jaw and cheek softly till you’ve calmed down. 10/10 obviously. he’s just the right amount of loud supportive and quiet supportive. kisses you full on the mouth when he first hears his baby’s cries and can’t stop thanking you. literally wtf he’s so cute.

kuroo tetsurō; he’s actually surprisingly very serious when you’re delivering the baby. he’s cracking jokes and all before to try and get you less nervous but it’s actually because he’s freaking out. he’s mostly quiet, just holding onto your hand as tightly as you’re gripping his. he holds his breath every time you push. keeps whispering i love you and pressing kisses to your temple. a 9/10 cause he’s so quiet it’s a little scary but he cannot hold back his tears when he sees his baby. kisses you all over your face after. 

satori tendō; very emotional. like so emotional. he’s teary eyed the whole time, just thanking you even if you hadn’t given birth yet. it makes the nurses cry too cause it’s so lovely to see him get so visibly affected by this. he’s just whispering thank you’s and i promise not to let you down ever and i promise to love you forever and you’re pretty sure he’s speaking to the baby you’re birthing at this point. 9/10 cause he made you cry :( no but really he’s a 10/10. super loving, keeps asking you if you’re okay, if you need water, need to hold his hand, anything. angel, fr. 

matsukawa issei; relatively surprising as well because you expected him to be more than just annoying, but he’s just. in awe. he’s so amazed by how much you’re going through, and he just stores it in the back of his brain. literally thanks you for the next 50 years to come. laughs endearingly with you to lighten the mood. 9/10. a point is deducted because he jokingly said that now you’ll be able to take his dick really easily. a nurse choked in shock pls. gets real close after to whisper i love you so that only you can hear. he’s just a dream <3

━━ would not let you move an inch after giving birth. all the work is on them for the next 5 years. 

all of them. not a single one is left out in this one. they’re annoying but ,,, they all love very strongly <3

end note; listen idk what this is. i had a vision where iwaizumi could not handle his s/o giving birth and the thought was actually so sweet to me, just the nurses laughing at him and he’s just breathing deeply to try and not throw up and then. this happened. anyways. this helped put me in a better mood so i hope it does/did for anyone else too!