#just in case cws

[swamp-spirit]

"Playful insults/competition/ribbing" are tricky because they're a breeding ground for "my conversational preferences are correct". Anyone who thinks you go too far is 'too sensitive', anyone who goes too far for you is 'just being mean'.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how a 'sense of humor' is often an intentional method of exclusion. I remember not applying for a job because the posting pretty much said "has to be okay with bigoted jokes". Discomfort with mean jokes is often used to soft-gate the targets of those jokes as too sensitive and unable to 'handle the culture'.

But I'm also aware insults and bragging are important parts of a lot of communities. Hell, playful insults are a big part of most of my friendships and 100% a part of my marriage, and, again, my sensitivity is not actually a valid metric for how people should communicate.

So I've been thinking about 'playful' insults, the functions they serve, and whether I consider those positive.

Some Positive Things

Show of Familiarity - All playful insults depend on knowing the boundaries of this particular community/person. Most people are fine being teased about a typo and not about their grandmother's death, but there's always going to be somebody who's been humiliated for their 'stupidity' and is deeply hurt over being teased by a typo, but thinks jokes about their grandmother's death are cathartic and hilarious. Ribbing can almost be a flex of closeness and communication. It can be affectionate, highlighting 'negative' traits you enjoy. It shows you know what's off limits, and have the communication skills that, if you miss, a casual 'hey, too far' will be listened to.

Diffusion of Tension - On familiarity, joking about something can often remove the fear around it. For example, openly cracking jokes about my disability keeps it from being a taboo subject people avoid. It can also be used to highlight the absurdity of insecurities. An outsized reaction to a minor mistake can be used to say "look how absurd it would be to care about that mistake".

Playful Competition - Some fond trash talk can be part of the fun for some people, heightening the wins and being a fun way the clash wits with a friend. This works best when skill levels are similar, the trash talk not attacking a genuine lack of skill, and staying relevant to the game instead of attacking the person.

Reclaiming Control - I'm clumsy and not great at social cues. I've been in some embarrassing situations because of it, but turning those situations into a joke gives me power over them. Hand-in-hand with diffusing tension, plenty of people want to be able to joke about their traumatic experiences, or even just their embarrassing experiences. Friends sharing in these jokes are not putting their friends down, they're respecting how somebody wishes to frame their own narrative.

Some Negative Things

Conformity Policing - 'Playful' humor is often used to embarrass people breaking the unspoken rules of 'normal'. This is often used in a very gendered way, which also has the splash damage of framing who is inferior by default. A space that is constantly mocking guys for being "pussies, little bitches, like a girl" hurts both men who fail to fit masculinity and makes it clear this space does not see women as worth respecting. What's 'too far' is also used to enforce group values and can be used to exclude. For example, some POC might find jokes about their race diffuse tension, but a workplace where race jokes are 'part of the culture' is going to feel more hostile to people who've had traumatic experiences related to their race or are the only person of their race in the office. Even if they 'make fun of everyone', it's used to create a pressure that those most affected need to leave or pretend it's fine, and pretending it's fine will be used to justify the behavior.

Lack of Accountability - Something being 'a joke' can give license to say things without consequences. Even when the insult comes from a genuine place, being offended or hurt is a sign that you are 'too sensitive'. Plenty of people have lifelong insecurities from things that were brought up 'as a joke'. It's especially tricky because the person saying the insult may or may not mean it, so the target can be left wondering if there was ill intent or the person thought it was funny. Remember: It's not a joke if you mean it.

Addressing Grievances - This is a bit like accountability, but comes from a different place. Bringing up a genuine issue 'as a joke' is sometimes seen as a way to bridge into a heavy subject in a gentle, low-tension way, but it almost always backfires. It undermines the person's ability to trust your 'jokes' and makes it hard to have a meaningful conversation about resolving the issue without an awkward shift in tone.

Compulsive 'Truth' Seeking - Some people see negative feedback as 'real' and 'honest' and feel compelled to accept and seek out harsh words. It can become a form of emotional self-harm, and it's important to acknowledge that trying to get people to "do their worst" is often rooted in attempt to push or numb oneself in a way that might not be healthy.

At the end of the day, it really comes down to familiarity and knowing was is and isn't acceptable to the person/group/culture, but that takes two things.

First, if people don't feel comfortable saying somebody went too far, if that's "ruining the fun", then you aren't actually staying in the lines of acceptable. If "anything goes" is the only right answer, there will always be people pressured into hearing things that genuinely upset and hurt them long term for the privilege of being deemed 'able to hang'.

Second, you have to consider what culture you're building. Even if everyone involved is having fun, who might not feel comfortable getting involved? Who listening are your jokes at the expense of?

[leo-artista]

AU in which Ford is in much worse shape when Stan arrives in the shack so he has to take care of him, and they get to actually talk about stuff instead of fighting

[wanderingibon]

anya deserved so much better

[trustymikh]

there are many benefits to being a ground-type pokemon trainer

[mxmarsbars]

just some concepts ^.^ can’t wait for the next episode where nothing goes wrong :,3

anyways so uh. suit symbolism and stuff. i think it kinda fits them.

EDIT ; I DON’T KNOW WHAT HOMESTUCK IS /LH

[teddybeartoji]

mmmm when he stops fucking you and sinks in balls deep aand then just stays there . no matter how much you push and paw at him, no matter how much you beg him to move, he doesn't do it. if anything, he just presses himself even closer, so there isn't a single inch between you mmmmmm and then just chuckles right into your ears when you gush around him, teasing you over the fact that that's all it took for you to cum. he feels you clenching around him, squirming below him with his name mixed in with pathetic pleas and oh, he thinks you're so adorable like this. you sniffle and you cry and he just stays there, nestled comfortably inside your warm cunt while cooing at you mmmmmmmmmmmmm

[bamsara]

scratch scratch

[futilys]

dead boy cares

[candycatfalls]

^^ guy stuck for all eternity inside a TV-Y7 disney channel show

[kairamuwu]

🫵 gem art cause that one Chappel roan photo got me thinking about women in armour

[astrangeavenue]

drew some totally normal sadnesses

blank bg and individuals below the cut

edit: i posted some of my thoughts that went into these designs! if youd like to read you can find it in the reblogs

[beetle-beep]

yeahg...

[rafry]

sanitys fall

[st4r-t3ars]

The Archivist ver. 2

[floweroflaurelin]

I haven’t watched this show yet but I keep seeing her everywhere and I think I hauve Covid

Bonus sketch:

Notes app strikes again! heart eyes

[sonseulsoleil]

Okay it’s like 2 AM. But Percy and Annabeth struggle to have a baby for a long time. Mortal fertility doctors say there’s nothing wrong and so they know it’s the gods. More specifically, it’s Hera being a petty bitch. They make offerings to Demeter and Dionysus hoping that blessings from the other fertility gods will help offset Hera’s doings. Annabeth gets pregnant, but Hera is still the goddess of child birth, so she miscarries. After that they stop trying for awhile. It’s too painful. They focus on the demigod kids they foster instead. After awhile, Annabeth gets pregnant again. They haven’t made any more offerings, but Percy wonders if Mr. D still remembers all that Diet Coke and gold. In any case, they’re holding their breath, making lots of offerings, including to Hera. They don’t tell anyone until it’s unavoidable because she’s showing. They don’t look at baby name books or have a baby shower or anything, too afraid of getting attached, of facing that loss and pain again.

But apparently Hera’s found her compassion, because Annabeth gives birth to a healthy baby girl—Annabeth’s spitting image, except for her sea green eyes and the freckles on her cheeks. She’s their little miracle, and the day she is born they burn so many offerings for Hera, it’s a little ridiculous. And some for Dionysus and Demeter, just to be safe.

(What they don’t know: Dionysus has a soft spot for that kid Peter Johnson, and is always down to pick a fight. He never really got along with his step-mom anyway.)