#Which is why I'm doing them now

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[hoofpeet]

Potentially weird habit but. When I get really fixated on an oc/blorbo or whatever I get embarrassed thinking cringey shit "In front of" them. Like ah fuck I was cringe in front of my imaginary fursona. shit

[peace-hunter]

tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.

he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.

except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.

and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.

or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)

they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.

and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.

optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.

and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.

[sergle]

color accuracy is lost bc of lighting but this was the start of the granny blanket project, I gotta take another progress picture when I knock out a significant amount

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[petr1kov]

actually an underrated little song from wicked to me is 'something bad'. i really like the ominous vibe and i kinda love dr dillamond tbh

[kwillow]

Why is ambroys so promiscuos, like psychologicaly. Is he just a Bimbo? Does he have a hipersexual disorder, is he just an asshole like that?

What drives this manwhore to this levels of slutness, UNPRECEDENTED HARLOTNESS i have to bear witness to

TL;DR: Sex is the lowest common denominator way to make people care about something and Ambroys wants people to care about Him.

Longer psychoanalysis under the cut, if you want a peek into the puddle-like depths of the world's shallowest man.

Surface-level, he’s just a hedonistic guy. He likes his base pleasures and indulgences.

Still, Ambroys is really more of an attention whore than an actual whore. He wants to be the main event everywhere he goes, and as most advertisers have noticed, sex appeal is a cheap and easy way to get noticed. Even if someone’s not attracted to you, they’ll probably at least look at you. And every pair of eyeballs is a win.

Additionally, seducing someone is a conquest. It makes him feel powerful. When people start seeming too messy and complicated it's a script to reset them to a dynamic that's within his control and understanding. Getting someone to fall for him reassures him of the "fact" that it’s his divine right to have what he wants, make others do what he wants, and make people want him. (Or as he would put it: he just wants to be loved — is that so wrong??)

This is why he sleeps with his friend nigh-immediately after breaking his once-paramour’s heart. His use of seduction as a comfort tool also creates the somewhat hilarious situation where he tries to fuck more often when he’s feeling bad, like women are his tub of Ben and Jerry’s and it’s binging time.

His other coping mechanism for feelings of inadequacy is sport hunting, by the by.

All that said, I don’t think Ambroys is much more promiscuous than your average frat guy. He is a young man brimming with energy and bereft of rationality, so a bit of skirt-chasing is to be expected. He just plays up the provocative libertine angle sometimes, because it’s easier than developing a likable personality.

[the-sea-anemone]

steeks are like sorcery to me. you just cut your knitting and it's fine. feels like it shouldn't be allowed

[javierduffy]

but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

While all three of my beloved Terror Lieutenant Ships are still technically in the running for the yuri tournament, I just want to say they ARE all yuri. to me. Specifically they are all different delightful flavors of lesbian stereotype.

Hodgving for instance are hashtag girlbestfriends. Absolute Jennifer's Body situation. They are two little girls playing house and snuggling together Too Much during sleepovers and "practicing kissing". They are a maid of honor speech where it's painfully desperately obvious that she's in love with the bride. They are Good Luck Babe Dot MP3. Starts at choir practice and ends with a body count.

Hodglittle on the other hand are an actual established butch4femme couple. Hodge after three hours: Ok I'm ready to leave the house! Ned: [tossing on one final jacket on top of her five layers of clothes] Wonderful darling you look so pretty let's go. Also by established I mean yes they uhauled it immediately after meeting. And yes that was a mistake but they're In It Together Now. Codependent and loving it.

Meanwhile Nedving are just two classic useless lesbians. Probably too shy to ever even meet each other irl. Ned will just keep posting pictures of like, a pony and a lamb sleeping cuddled up in a meadow and tagging them "#me and who" while Jirv keeps liking every post and being too nervous to say a single word to her. The height of romance and repression and also agonizing stupidity.

[lexosaurus]

God now I just want to write a Part 2 to my Valerie Makes Danny Lift A Single Weight fic (literally just the bar though because he's too weak to put any plates on) only this time Dash sees them working out together and takes it as invitation to launch into a 30 minute dissertation to Danny about the importance of hypertrophy and the best shakers to mix your preworkout in and the differences between doing a PPL split vs a Bro split when building a routine and meanwhile Danny's literally just like Dying

[a-s-levynn]

A new era

[screamingfrenchfries]

bless google scholar because i just KNOW if i searched "psychological abuse in relationships" on normal google id be put on some sort of watchlist when i'm just trying to do research for an essay on some silly little cartoon guys

[bookwyrminspiration]

i cannot emphasize enough how much my entire academic situation is currently hinging on receiving an email from one (1) person