#i really like the way it breaks it up
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color accuracy is lost bc of lighting but this was the start of the granny blanket project, I gotta take another progress picture when I knock out a significant amount
#i think this was day ttttwwooo... yes bc I was doing especially bad that day and made 12 of them back to back#ANYWAY!! so these are the starters#this is before I added the teal into the mix but these are most of the colors otherwise#pinks / yellows / a couple blues / offwhite / black / dusty purple / brown#i have teal and burgundy in the mix now because i'm letting the colors be whatever#obviously I really love the sunflowers which is why I'm wanting to put repeats of those in there#but in general i'm going to let the squares be different from one another and i won't be arranging#the squares in any specific order when it's time to sew them all together#also having ones that are just One Or Two Colors#i really like the way it breaks it up
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Dewi wouldn’t hurt a fly…usually.
Bug Fact: The African Cicada is the loudest bug in the world reaching up to 107 decibels (about the same as a car horn).
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Masterpost
#btw I’m taking a break for the weekend! new page Monday#HK will....survive....mostly#Making sure that thing does not get back up again#Tbh I dont think any of them expected Dewi to enter the fight. He doesn't seem one for combat#also most bugs in game dont have big stompers like Dewi does.#In my experience the best way to kill a bug is to keep ur foot on the ground but Dewi doesn't really have that experience yet#hollow knight#hollow knight humans#hollow knight hornet#hollow knight quirrel#hollow knight knight#hollow knight au#dewi#dewi's adventures in hollow knight
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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little detail I've picked up on: lucanis seems to like it when rook is smart. not in an academically minded way, necessarily, but when they're clever/analytical and clear-eyed about the practical realities of a matter and able to sort out the bullshit. most immediate example that comes to mind is of course when rook points out to illario that zara physically can't have made it back to vyrantium yet by conventional means in the café scene (where they're also backing what lucanis is trying to say, so the approval there makes extra sense), but it pops up in several other places too where rook cuts through to the heart of a problem with that kind of thinking. his and davrin's approval often overlap, but davrin seems to like it when rook is resolute and practical (and kind but don't tell anyone that sssh <3 ilu davrin), where I get the sense that lucanis gets that extra little thrill when they're also clever. in another contrast emmrich likes it when you're curious and openminded and kind (a lot like solas in da:i really) -- more like a life-long earnest academic *would* think about and value learning and knowledge in terms of a process and way of thinking rather than the results that come out of it -- while i think lucanis kind of likes it (and possibly gets a little ah frisson out of it depending on your relationship with him lol) when your mind is a knife. which I think is really neat. also tracks perfectly with him liking both viago and neve too haha. he clearly enjoys the Thinkers of the world.
#lucanis whenever rye's stark sharp analytical Watcher eyes break through the just a little guy-ness: ah too late#something has already been Awakened in me there's no turning back now. oh well :> ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#you know what I actually really like in this game that is such a little thing? rook can reach the wrong conclusions in dialogue#really quite frequently. another lucanis quest example but you can have your rook reach the conclusion that maybe zara is lying#even though all available evidence is sort of building up under what she says. rook is allowed to be wrong and/or just not wired that way!#they have a whole team behind them to make up for the places they may fall short (whether in people skills or critical thinking or whatever#small flavours in characterization that does a lot if you actually engage with them
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oh shit look who it is!!
please click him for better quality
#aoex#rin okumura#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#blue exorcist is my favorite manga i can't believe i've ever posted anything for it before#i found some really old fanart i made when i was prolly like 9 and it made me pick the books up again#there are 30 now?? when did that happen#i physically can't watch season 3. why is rin so ugly#also sorry for not posting for um. 4 months. my winter break was so shit i kinda lost all motivation for a while#i had to work my way back up to actual stuff on the computer#anyways aoex was like formative media for me. so many of my character designs had/still have elements from the show in them somewhere#all my rat
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Dear Bonnie, I’m a coward. I should be saying this to your face, not writing this letter, but I know if I do you’ll talk me out of running away from all my problems. You’re gonna make me face a future without Elena and you’re gonna help make me the best man I could possibly be, the same way she did. And I’m absolutely terrified of failing you both. So, I’m leaving. Because I’d rather let you down once, than let you down for the rest of your life. And I hope it’s the happiest life. Because you, Bonnie Bennett, are an amazing woman, a mediocre crossword puzzle player and my best friend.
With great love and respect, Damon.
#the vampire diaries#tvd#damon salvatore#bonnie bennett#bamon#otp: my best friend#gifs#thevampirediariesedit#tvdedit#damonsalvatoreedit#bonniebennettedit#bamonedit#useramys12#tuserbelovas#tusercatherine#userjustine#tumblrusercherry#userishh#usermegara#useroli#tvdversegifs#kat graham#ian somerhalder#thinking about that elena quote about them ‘i think he actually kind of loves her. you’re mean to the people you care about.’#and going crazy cause it really fits that emma theme of arguing with the people you love.#in these gifs and just in general when bonnie’s showing affection towards damon he can never really hold her gaze for too long. he looks#so full of love but also so unsure at the same time. he’s too overwhelmed by their connection that he can’t fully speak it or face it.#they're such a perfect mirror to steroline that way. like stefan says: 'maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and i#have experienced it but... i think this could turn into something even better.' damon's never felt this kind of love before and he doesn't#know what to DO with it! meanwhile bonnie's so confident in it always looking at him head on never breaking her gaze– UGH! they're perfect.
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year of silver…. year of silver please sega… unpack his trauma…. pleasee….
#silver the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#mephiles the dark#eggman nega#silvaze implied#really proud of this piece but idk how to break through into the sonic fandom atp haha#but he’s my favorite and I know it’s more than likely they’re not gonna do another year of#or if they do it’ll probably be Amy but#idk it’d be cool#I imagine it would be like. a lot of time loop stuff . probably happens due to leftover time eater destruction or mephiles escaping again#and it would devolve into an MGS2 style ending#in a perfect world silver would have no idea it’s Blaze he’s chasing even at the end . he just knows he has to give up restoring the#sonic 06 timeline….#or maybe he realizes mephiles and iblis are im the same boat as him and blaze and he reunites them in a normal way#idk#I have so many silver ideas….. so little time to make comics
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Art for the portraits in Sinsmas by jigokuhana89
#helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss octavia#helluva boss stella#it really puts into perspective how octavia was a seemingly very happy child up into her mid-teens#like to me it speaks of how well stolas kept up the charade of the happy working marriage all that time#i imagine all that came crashing down right after blitz popped back in into his life#like imagine it from Octavia's pov: you have a normal life. your parents get along fine (at least in front of you)#your dad clearly likes spending time with you more than your mom does but that's okay. maybe she's too busy. your dad makes up for it though#then suddenly one day out of nowhere they start fighting like it's the end of the world#next thing you know they're getting divorced#like the song goes‚ her world is burning down around her#suddenly everything she thought she knew turned out to be a lie#and the catalyst for this neck-breaking change seems to be that imp her dad clearly likes way too much#it's no wonder she immediately believes her entire life has been a huge lie; as far as she knows everything was just a show#including Stolas' love for her
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wunderbar !
#nightmaretheater#sasha nein#psychonauts#Sorry i just really like drawing distressed sasha#This art is directed at me. It tells a story only i know#sometjing skmetjing younger sasha bejng stressed and a complete foreigner being askedsooo many wuestiosn Wahhh#….Was fun to play with restricted colors to :) love restricting my colors#to the one person (me) who knows what this is refferencing ;#Yes there was gonna be a 4th image but i ddint do ti Giggle#The color choice and shapes are intentional. By the way. Walks off#anyways *stretches* Back to the art caves#…his hair is kind of annoying 2 draw sometimes. giggle#Lso my art style changed mid drawinf bc i took a break from it Lol#also i will not stand down let a woman have veiny hands#rRHRHFHGJJJggahdhfhhGgsh chews up the walls of my room#11 hours on canvas + prolly more btw#started this like a week or so ago Giggles
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to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u
#look...i know it's been a month but hear me out-#guys don't yell he's really trying okay!!#NOT a mean ww truther bc he really isn't mean like at all#not in an intentional way#he's just stressed and embarrassed and tipsy here give him a break#he's swagless & thinks it's yet another reason he's unlovable (untrue)#dont worry woowoo vash also severely lacks in the swag department#but funny doodles aside i have other more serious art of them already posted + in the works#their understanding of each other ends up being so deep#but at the same time they manage to be so utterly stupid about it#how do they manage? i don't know#they just make me want to tear my hair out#you're important to each other!!!! get!! that!!! thru!! ur! HEADS!!!!#neither of them think they deserve what they want/need#i'm inconsolable actually nobody talk to me (talk to me please)#see using words isn't so hard. stupid fictional men#(she thought she did something with those tags)#times are hard but i stay silly#by that i mean i re-read vol 10#on the daily.#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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okay but literally what if buck and tommy end up together? like what if we get to see them moving in together or saying i love you for the first time or getting engaged or getting married? what if we get to see buck having a husband? literally what then...
#can i be honest the likleihood of bucktommy lasting to me is hard to figure out for me. i think some people saying bucktommy bonessssss#or whatever are saying it for the wrong reasons but there is truth to the idea that there is a very strong possibility that it doesnt last#longer than a season#not cause of buddie. just cause bad writing. this isnt a show where characters can really move forward a lot so#with bucks love interests especially they dont stick around and i am afraid we're gonna keep buck in that revolving door of love interests#with no end point. which is why i feel like some of those ppl should stfu about “god i hope they break up 😡” cause like.#are you sure? do you want that? no no not for you ship i mean like for this character completely independent of that ship. do you want that?#does that better his character in any way? does that further any development INDEPENDENTLY of the ship you want to happen?#okay rant over but like !!!!! what if it happens?? what if we get to see buck be happy and flourish in a relationship???#what then#bucktommy#firefly tag
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I think any fix-it mouthwashing au has to have the mandatory scenes of Curly either being able to blink again or speaking for the first time.
#like metaphorical nature aside can you like fathom the relief in being able to hear your voice again? or like blink your eye even if manualy#how many times to you think the phantom actions triggers only for nothing to happen to be asked something and it catch in his throat from h#his torn vocal cords probably from how loud and hard he was screaming in agony#or the feeling of having to cry with tears and the instinct to blink them away like those little relief would make him break down#also just like I want the fix it au to have a scene of Anya feeling truly safe and content with nothign in the back of her mind#like I like playing with the struggles and angst but really just have her subtly realize shes fine alone or with one of them I dont care#shes like reading and someone unintentionally sneaks up on her but she doesnt jump or she wakes up and its not the first thought in her min#or maybe just her realizing she can finally push it away maybe someone not recognizing her or Curly from the incident and realizing it wont#define her forever and she'll move past it like please let them be happy have them meet Daisuke's family who pointedly dont ask#or Swansea appriciating his kids in a way Daisukes didn't appiciate their useful ray of sunshine like LET THEM SMILE#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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Something I love about Leo is that, canonically, he IS capable of cooking, he’s just completely incapable of using a toaster. He’s banned from the kitchen not out of an inability to make edible food, but because being within six feet of a toaster causes the poor appliance to spontaneously combust.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#all Leos mortal enemy: toasters#side note but thinking about this aspect of Leo’s character really has me wanting to make a deeper dive into Leo as a Jack of All Trades#because he has aspects of this all throughout the series#where he can do many things he’s just not the best at it#like he can cook but he’s no Mikey#he can - canonically - rewire an *AI PROGRAM* but it goes very wrong#he can lift both Mikey and Raph simultaneously but he struggles to do so where his other brothers don’t even break a sweat#bro is a Jack of All Trades Master of None frfr#and Leo is even more interesting with this in mind because he uses what he CAN do so well#it’s like how he can see his family’s strengths and weaknesses and knows exactly how they work#his skill set is made way better simply by his personal USE of those skills not by the skills themselves#portals and teleportation are only op if you know how to weaponize them#given time he ABSOLUTELY could#okay I shut up now this was supposed to be about toasters#but yeah all the boys have a bunch of skills under their belts outside the typical ones#but Leo stands out to me for having skills his other brothers have but to a much lesser degree in a lot of cases#and he works with what he has so well that that is a skill in itself
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Meet cute
[At this point Brakul is a prisoner of war, speaks very little Wardi, and understands just enough to get that Janeys is A) asking for him to expand on his given name and B) being mad annoying. So he’s listing off his entire ancestry.]
[TEXT]
Janeys: You must have a name. Mine is Haidamane. "jay-nees hai-dah-mah-nay". You might have heard of it? My father funds the entire Yellowtail route.
Brakul: ...Ok.
Janeys: So you haven't. Well I guess that's to be expected. What's your name then? Your name?
Brakul: Brakul.
Janeys: Brakul what?
Brakul: ...Brakul?
Janeys: What's after that? Don't tell me you don't have a surname.
Brakul: I have.
Janeys: So what is it?
Brakul: Brakul virsum Kuligan, et Dirunys et Fetken et Brakul et Gornaid et Ultarnaith et Bril et Finntaigr et Kulsagh et Guimír et Magdenarch et Ailahstaigr et Fírudai et Borunil
Janeys: Ok.
Brakul: et Kulniad et Brinsaid et Ullyos et Bruníl
Janeys: Ok I get it.
Brakul: et Áibethil et Findelaithe et Bratuvhed
Janeys: Ok yeah you're-. You're fucking with me. That's hilarious.
Brakul: et Maebra
Janeys: You're so funny. You're-. Uh.
Brakul: et Damaekul et Bisheldir
Janeys: STOP.
Brakul: et Ludseig
#Listing his ancestors names is also a means of invoking their protection especially because he thinks he's about to be sacrificed#but he is mostly just fucking with him. The exact proper way would be to add another 'virsum' before his mother's name (Borunil)#to designate the switch to the female line but he doesn't want to break up the monotony#Janeys will see him pull this same shit years later on other people asking annoying questions about his name and be like#I feel like he's mad at me??????#brakul red dog#janeys haidamane#the white calf#Not really this is like 13 years prior but#Goes in the tag.
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