#i really like the way it breaks it up
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
sergle · 11 months ago
Text
color accuracy is lost bc of lighting but this was the start of the granny blanket project, I gotta take another progress picture when I knock out a significant amount
Tumblr media
892 notes · View notes
giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
Text
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
17K notes · View notes
lilybug-02 · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Dewi wouldn’t hurt a fly…usually.
Bug Fact: The African Cicada is the loudest bug in the world reaching up to 107 decibels (about the same as a car horn).
First || Prev // Next
Masterpost
2K notes · View notes
corpsentry · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a glass sun 1/2
1K notes · View notes
vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago
Text
little detail I've picked up on: lucanis seems to like it when rook is smart. not in an academically minded way, necessarily, but when they're clever/analytical and clear-eyed about the practical realities of a matter and able to sort out the bullshit. most immediate example that comes to mind is of course when rook points out to illario that zara physically can't have made it back to vyrantium yet by conventional means in the café scene (where they're also backing what lucanis is trying to say, so the approval there makes extra sense), but it pops up in several other places too where rook cuts through to the heart of a problem with that kind of thinking. his and davrin's approval often overlap, but davrin seems to like it when rook is resolute and practical (and kind but don't tell anyone that sssh <3 ilu davrin), where I get the sense that lucanis gets that extra little thrill when they're also clever. in another contrast emmrich likes it when you're curious and openminded and kind (a lot like solas in da:i really) -- more like a life-long earnest academic *would* think about and value learning and knowledge in terms of a process and way of thinking rather than the results that come out of it -- while i think lucanis kind of likes it (and possibly gets a little ah frisson out of it depending on your relationship with him lol) when your mind is a knife. which I think is really neat. also tracks perfectly with him liking both viago and neve too haha. he clearly enjoys the Thinkers of the world.
606 notes · View notes
kurikorso · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
oh shit look who it is!!
please click him for better quality
863 notes · View notes
jessmalia · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dear Bonnie, I’m a coward. I should be saying this to your face, not writing this letter, but I know if I do you’ll talk me out of running away from all my problems. You’re gonna make me face a future without Elena and you’re gonna help make me the best man I could possibly be, the same way she did. And I’m absolutely terrified of failing you both. So, I’m leaving. Because I’d rather let you down once, than let you down for the rest of your life. And I hope it’s the happiest life. Because you, Bonnie Bennett, are an amazing woman, a mediocre crossword puzzle player and my best friend. 
With great love and respect, Damon.
509 notes · View notes
luuxxart · 8 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
year of silver…. year of silver please sega… unpack his trauma…. pleasee….
204 notes · View notes
wazzi2ya · 14 days ago
Text
Art for the portraits in Sinsmas by jigokuhana89
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
249 notes · View notes
medicalunprofessional · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
wunderbar !
556 notes · View notes
tzarrz · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u
1K notes · View notes
fluentisonus · 1 month ago
Text
working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
157 notes · View notes
usercelestial · 5 months ago
Text
okay but literally what if buck and tommy end up together? like what if we get to see them moving in together or saying i love you for the first time or getting engaged or getting married? what if we get to see buck having a husband? literally what then...
310 notes · View notes
dykedvonte · 3 months ago
Text
I think any fix-it mouthwashing au has to have the mandatory scenes of Curly either being able to blink again or speaking for the first time.
178 notes · View notes
turtleblogatlast · 10 months ago
Text
Something I love about Leo is that, canonically, he IS capable of cooking, he’s just completely incapable of using a toaster. He’s banned from the kitchen not out of an inability to make edible food, but because being within six feet of a toaster causes the poor appliance to spontaneously combust.
435 notes · View notes
serpentface · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Meet cute
[At this point Brakul is a prisoner of war, speaks very little Wardi, and understands just enough to get that Janeys is A) asking for him to expand on his given name and B) being mad annoying. So he’s listing off his entire ancestry.]
[TEXT]
Janeys: You must have a name. Mine is Haidamane. "jay-nees hai-dah-mah-nay". You might have heard of it? My father funds the entire Yellowtail route.
Brakul: ...Ok.
Janeys: So you haven't. Well I guess that's to be expected. What's your name then? Your name?
Brakul: Brakul.
Janeys: Brakul what?
Brakul: ...Brakul?
Janeys: What's after that? Don't tell me you don't have a surname.
Brakul: I have.
Janeys: So what is it?
Brakul: Brakul virsum Kuligan, et Dirunys et Fetken et Brakul et Gornaid et Ultarnaith et Bril et Finntaigr et Kulsagh et Guimír et Magdenarch et Ailahstaigr et Fírudai et Borunil
Janeys: Ok.
Brakul: et Kulniad et Brinsaid et Ullyos et Bruníl
Janeys: Ok I get it.
Brakul: et Áibethil et Findelaithe et Bratuvhed
Janeys: Ok yeah you're-. You're fucking with me. That's hilarious.
Brakul: et Maebra
Janeys: You're so funny. You're-. Uh.
Brakul: et Damaekul et Bisheldir
Janeys: STOP.
Brakul: et Ludseig
332 notes · View notes