#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.

[peace-hunter]

tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.

he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.

except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.

and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.

or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)

they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.

and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.

optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.

and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.

[streetlight11]

Till I Met You Again

Summary: Everyone is born with a life already planned out for them. Including their soulmates. Except, every person walking this earth has been given a specific soulmate marking that was similar to a tattoo to match their soulmate’s. The ink is invisible when one is born. To activate the soulmate marking, one has to be at least in a 20 feet radius to their designated soulmate. But of course, they wouldn��t know it until they start to notice the ink slowly appearing on their skin.

Theme: soulmate au, university au, enemies to lovers

Genre: angst, fluff

Warning: mild cursing

WC: 10k

Pairing: Soulmate!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! I kinda got too carried away in writing this one the other day, hence the word count for this is... woah. Hehe. But anyways, here's a soulmate au for you Min Yoongi lovers <3

Every person who was born into this earth has their life journey already written out for them in which it unfortunately remains a secret from them. And these living souls have been entitled to a soulmate that would potentially cross their path in the near future. Everyone is made for someone and the tattoo on their skin otherwise known as a ‘soulmate marking’ determines it for them.

The soulmate marking is nothing far from a tattoo as it imprints on your skin for eternity.

However, these markings will already be on you the minute you were born. Except, the ink will be invisible to the human eye.

But it’s definitely there. The only way to activate the marking is when one happens to be of 20 foot radius with their designated soulmate. This will cause the ink to start slowly appearing on one’s skin. Even so, these markings will start only when one has reached the age of 14. Only then will the ink start to be visible to one’s eye.

Unfortunately, until now when you’re already past 20 years of age, not a single tinge of ink was displayed on your skin. You’ve checked everywhere on your body. From your fingertips to your toes.

Nothing.

You weren’t really one who purely believed in this whole soulmate thing simply because you felt that there’s no such thing as a fixed soulmate. You should be free to choose who you want as your partner purely through interactions and chemistry you shared with the other, not by some marking on your skin. Your parents had a matching mark on their right wrists which was a simple rose in a glass jar.

No doubt you admired their love story and how they met, but you couldn’t see it for yourself. You really don’t want to fully depend on this supposed marking. Even when you went off to college, you’ve made it a point to try and go on dates no matter what their soulmate markings would be.

But it all turned out with the same ending. Either the guy dumps you for not having the same mark or they ghost you after the first date, saying you’re too good for them. All these never led to a heartbreak on your end because you were never in love to begin with.

You were simply trying your luck, trying to see if you’d find a single soul who was just as sceptical as you on this whole soulmate thing.

And so far, you’ve met none.

It was the start of university life for you as you’ve managed to enrol yourself for a Computer Science major in Hangang University. You took the same course during college, having interest in web design and computer technologies. You could only hope that the study load this time would give you a mental break every once in a while despite knowing the content is definitely heavier than college content.

But you still told yourself to persevere and never leave your knowledge hanging while you’re still young. With this mentality, you brought yourself to campus today for day one of university classes.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door to the specific lecture room for the first lesson.

Immediately, you were greeted by a room that had the majority of the students’ gender being males. But it wasn’t a surprise to you because CS majors tend to lean more towards males instead of females. This doesn’t bother you since you were here solely to study and perhaps make friends along the way.

You found an empty seat in the top last few rows. With careful steps, you climbed the stairs to make your way to the spot you had your eyes locked on. After you’ve settled down, you noted how the room was fairly quiet.

Probably because it was the first day of classes and nobody really knows each other yet. That was all pushed to the back of your mind when you heard chatting coming from the front door and you saw 2 friends walk in. It was pretty obvious they knew each other considering how they were laughing and talking freely to one another.

As you kept your curious gaze on them discreetly, you could only realise how good looking they were.

The taller one sported beautiful dark brown locks that were long enough to cover his eyes, his smile so charming you were sure anyone who crossed his path would fall for his smile in less than a second. And then there was the other one who sported a more edgy look with his shorter dark purple, undercut hair that was parted near the centre to show his forehead, a right eyebrow piercing to compliment his face.

You quickly diverted your gaze to your laptop screen, not wanting them to think you’re a creep. You were busy searching for the e-books for this lesson in your online school portal when you heard a gentle voice calling to you from your right.

“Hey, are these seats taken?”

You looked up to see the one with the eyebrow piercing staring at you with the softest smile on his face.

In response to his question, you simply mimicked his facial expression and shook your head at him. He thanked you quietly before the 2 of them settled down beside you down the row. They resumed their conversation for the next 3 minutes before the lecturer walked in to start the class.

Two hours later, you don’t even know how you managed to absorb the things your lecturer said but you did. You were typing out the notes he shared on the projector screen when you heard his voice through the speakers.

“I will let you go for your lunch break. Be back by 1pm, here. You can leave your bags behind since I will be locking the room once everyone leaves.”

With that, your classmates replied with a series of yes before they got up one by one ready to head for lunch. You were just typing out the last of your notes when the boy beside you spoke up. At first you thought he was talking to his friend. You completely missed the way he was turned to you.

Until he gently taps onto your forearm to tell you that his question was directed to you. With a turn of your head, you locked eyes with him for the second time that day. “H-Huh?” You stuttered, earning a stifled chuckle from him.

“I was saying, do you wanna join me and my friends for lunch? We’re already sharing classes, might as well get to know each other to prepare for future projects or assignments.” He kindly repeated himself for you, making you whisper a soft ‘oh’ under your breath.

It wasn’t like you to approach someone first when it comes to striking a conversation with a complete stranger. So when he did it for you, it surprised you that he even thought of letting you tag along with them to lunch. For this alone, you decided to accept his offer knowing he does have a point for that last statement.

With that being said, the three of you left the lecture room after bringing your wallets with you. You quietly followed beside the brown haired one as they immediately opened a topic for their conversation.

You were just checking your phone for the texts sent from your mom in your family group chat when a voice spoke up, addressing you directly.

“What’s your name?” You glance up to catch the one who asked the question was the brown haired one, as the purple haired one was already looking at you but it wasn’t intimidating in any way. So you found it easy to reply to them.

“Y/N.” You said as they all nodded only for the boy beside you to speak up. “Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Taehyung. This is Jungkook.”

And so you know.

After almost 10 minutes of walking, you finally arrived at the cafeteria located on the other side of campus from where you originally were. The cafeteria was filled with hungry students and occupied tables. This wasn’t something new but at times like these, you’d rather bring your own food and sit somewhere that’s less crowded and bustling.

Just when you were about to excuse yourself and get a take out instead, Taehyung’s voice sounded from beside you, “Hyung said he found a table for us. They’re at the side near the drink stall.” He addressed it to the Jungkook in particular.

Hyung? Found a table? Did their other friends go to this same campus too?

You thought to yourself as Taehyung soon led the three of you around the cafeteria with you following behind them like a lost puppy.

You were busy looking at the available food stalls around when you were stopped by the voices that called out to the 2 boys’ names. Curious eyes wandered over their figures to see just who their other friends were and you were met with a table filled with relatively handsome guys.

There were 3 guys seated at that table, happily welcoming Taehyung and Jungkook. Just when you thought they had forgotten you, Jungkook turns around to show you to his friends.

“If you guys don’t mind, we made a new friend this morning and we invited her to join us for lunch. Her name is Y/N.” Jungkook announced as the three boys smiled at you warmly.

“Hey Y/N. I’m Namjoon, this is Seokjin and Hoseok. It’s nice to meet you.” Namjoon said as he stretched his hand out for you to shake in which you obliged. You definitely didn’t miss the intricate design of a floral arrow lining his inner forearm. That must’ve been his soulmate marking. You soon found yourself seated next to Hoseok and Jungkook after buying your meal.

You were chewing your noodles when Taehyung spoke up to catch everyone at that table’s attention, “Where are they? Shouldn’t their class be over already?”

“Apparently they just ended 5 minutes ago. Minie told me they’re on their way now.” Seokjin replied.

Who were the ‘they’ Taehyung was referring to?

Were there more of their friends?

Oh great.

You refocused on your food, taking a bite out of the chicken meat as you listened to their ‘first day of university’ story. You found out that Namjoon was a Psychology major, Hoseok was a Dance major and Seokjin was a Culinary major.

You were currently staring at the pile of vegetables that Taehyung so kindly transfers into your bowl, after he asked around on who wants the boiled carrots and broccoli to which you said yes.

Taehyung was passing you every last bit of vegetable to your bowl when a sweet voice spoke up from the end of the table nearest to Namjoon and Seokjin.

“Finally! I thought you’d never make it for lunch.” Namjoon laughed as you heard a much raspier voice speak up from the same spot.

“I wouldn’t miss lunch for the world.” You heard the others laugh when Taehyung finally finished clearing his plate off the vegetables before turning to the newcomers to say his hellos.

“Oh, by the way, we have a new addition to our circle. She’s in Taehyung and Jungkook’s class so they tagged her along for lunch.” Seokjin announced as he reached his arm behind Taehyung to place a soft hand on the top of your right shoulder. You finally looked up from your bowl to see who the newcomers were.

The first guy you locked eyes with had cute puffy cheeks, sporting a pretty dark blue hair colour as his bangs framed his face nicely.

“Oh hello. I’m Jimin.”

You smiled shyly at him before your eyes naturally travelled to the other individual standing right beside Jimin and that’s when you frowned.

Unsurprisingly, the male did too.

His hair was an ash grey colour that parted at the side to show his forehead instead of letting it cover his eyebrows like Hoseok’s did. He had a few piercings on each ear. If his physique was unrecognizable to you, at least his face was. You knew exactly who he was without having to ask him for confirmation.

“Yoongi?” His name rolled off your tongue effortlessly in a whisper, stirring reactions from the rest of them.

“Wait, you know each other?” Jimin asked in confusion as his eyes travelled back and forth between you and Yoongi. That’s when you heard the other scoff before locking his eyes with you.

“Never thought I’d see you again after all these years.” His expression was dry and almost unwelcoming unlike the smiles his other friends gave you upon your first meeting. “Never wished for this day to come either but here we are…” You said sarcastically.

The tension was so thick, you were sure you would have to cut it with a knife instead of a scissors.

You broke the gaze by standing up, claiming you’ve lost your appetite.

“I’ll see you guys in class.” You said, directing your words to your classmates before you snatched your phone and wallet off the table top along with your tray of food to return. With a quick glance to Yoongi, you ignored his burning glare as you shoved past him by the shoulders causing him to stumble back a little.

The table fell quiet as Seokjin was the first to break the awkward silence, “Well, that was unexpected.” Yoongi scoffed as he left the table to go buy his food, not bothering to wait for Jimin as his mind was clouded with the thought of you being in his circle of friends.

The history of you two goes way back when you were in both pre and high school. Your first ever dispute with him was in preschool, all because you were both fighting over the crayon box. And then gradually, more fights would happen over silly little things. It came to a point where your teacher would have to separate you from each other.

Your disputes continued after you found out that he just so happened to join the same high school as you, let alone the same class. It only made things worse. You two would bicker and fight almost everyday like a married couple.

Your friends teased you often with him for the amount of fights you got into with him. They’ve even grown accustomed to the harsh comments you had thrown to each other on a daily basis.

Not a day goes by without either him stepping on your tail or you having a payback for all the pranks he did on you to get you worked up. And yet, just when you thought you were free from seeing the devil himself again, life has its way with you and it bothers you to the core at this very instant.

Your lecturer arrived back at the lecture room 15 minutes before 1pm and it seemed like everyone else was still having lunch. All except you. “You’re here early? Have you had your lunch?” He asked as he proceeded to unlock the room while you lingered behind him, standing up after you saw him approaching from afar.

“Yeah, I did.” You smiled, stepping back into the room after he pushed the door open. You climbed the stairs again to where your belongings were, taking out your air pods to bury yourself in music.

Shutting out the world around as you rested your head in your arms on the table. You didn’t notice the people strolling into the lecture room, too busy drowning yourself in your own little bubble. All of it soon came crumbling when you felt a soft tap on your shoulder.

That’s when you look up to see the 2 of them back in their seats.

You glanced ahead to see that the lecturer had already flashed the new slides onto the projector screen which indicates the start of class again. So you took out your air pods and kept them in its case before tossing it into your bag.

Class resumed and your messy thoughts were shoved to the back of your mind, far away from your main focus right now which was your class.

After a dreadful 4 hours of lessons, your lecturer finally calls it a day. He reminded all of you to be punctual for class tomorrow, saying that he has some group discussions for the topic he would be teaching. Once everyone was dismissed, you kept your stuff back into your bag quietly.

You could tell the two boys were waiting for you since they hadn't moved a muscle from beside you despite already standing up and were just leaning against the table while they chatted. The minute you stood up, they pushed themselves off the table and only then did they start walking down the steps.

The three of you made it to ground level thanks to the operating lift, making your way to the parking lot that was right beside the campus entrance.

You were just talking to Jungkook about your hobbies when you noticed a group of 5 guys gathered at the steps of the campus grounds through your peripheral vision. You could only guess it was their friends due to the voice that calls out to those walking with you. They led you towards the bunch as you glanced over to everyone but him.

“Hey Y/N, how did you come here this morning?” Namjoon asked, his voice nothing but sincere.

“Public transport.” You said simply with a smile directed towards him, only for Seokjin to speak up, “Do you need a ride home? I can drive you?”

With that being said, you kindly shook your head with a smile, not wanting to offend him in any way for turning his offer down. “It’s fine, I can manage on my own. Thanks for the offer though. Maybe next time.” You said as you bid the rest of them goodbye, not bothering to look at the very person you’ve held your grudge on for years.

They watched as you turned in your heels and left, deadpanning your way to the front gates. Jimin sighed lightly before turning to Yoongi and asked for answers on why you and him weren’t on good terms.

But the latter only brushed Jimin off, saying he would explain some other time.

The rest of them soon dispersed to their own vehicles to head home after a long and tiring first day of university.

As more days began to pass, you were sometimes dragged by either one of your 2 classmates to hang out with their friends and girlfriends. If you weren’t mistaken, half of them already found their soulmates and were currently in a relationship with them. While the remaining half were still finding for theirs because it was either their soulmate markings had appeared on their skin but very faintly, or there was none at all.

But the amount of times you’ve recalled hanging out with them during the past three months were countable with your fingers. You avoided having lunch with them often ever since you found out Yoongi was in their circle. You didn’t want to seem petty but it seems like he too hated having you around.

Which means that the feelings were mutual on both ends.

It was a pretty warm day so right after you arrived back at your apartment, you headed straight for the showers. Slipping into the shower stream the minute your clothes were discarded.

The cold stream coating your shoulder down with it’s nice, cooling temperature to ease out the warmth in your body.

After you finished your shower, you took your towel from the rack and proceeded to wipe yourself dry. Stepping out of the cubicle, you walked over to the sink counter where your large mirror was glued onto the wall. As you were ruffling your hair with the towel to rid the excess water, you noticed something on your left rib through the reflection.

Is that…?

You glanced down at your skin to see a very faint outline of something on your skin. You blinked twice, not believing this.

When did it start showing?

Your mind was going feral at the thought of seeing your soulmate marking finally make its appearance onto your skin. Who was the cause of this? Why did it only appear now after all these years? If that’s the case then it means that your soulmate is someone from school.

“What am I thinking? This is all a load of crap. I can date whoever I want no matter what marking they have.” You said to no one in particular as you changed into your home attire.

A few days later, you were just in class alone in the morning. Taehyung and Jungkook had yet to arrive when a sudden voice from beside you made you jump. A soft curse emitted from your throat as you clutched to your chest from the minor heart attack. You turned to find one of your classmates whom you recalled his name to be Hanbin, towering over you to your left.

“Hey, I’m Hanbin.” He smiled at you, feeling your stomach get warm upon seeing him up close for the first time.

“Hey… I’m Y/N.”

“I don’t mean to be creepy or weird, but I’ve kind of noticed you going for lunch alone these days instead of with your friends?” He asked as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. You somehow knew where this was going.

“Right… Well, that is true I suppose.” You chuckled awkwardly, looking away from him briefly before turning your attention back to him.

“I see. Well, if you’re looking for company, you can go for lunch with me?” He said it more like a statement instead of a question and that in itself made you smile. You had just accepted his kind offer when you heard familiar voices approaching to where you were seated.

Hanbin’s eyes glanced past your shoulder only to flicker back to you, setting a reminder before he left.

“Lunch with me later, yeah?”

You gave him a soft nod as a smile crept onto your lips. At the same time, you felt the soft nudge to your right elbow. You already knew who’s the culprit. “Wasn’t that Hanbin? What did he say to you?” Taehyung asked as he took a seat beside you.

“He asked me to go for lunch with him.”

“So you agreed?”

“Mhm.”

“You wanna go for lunch with him but not us?” Taehyung asked with a pout, only for Jungkook to lean over and ask what was going on. You could only roll your eyes at them, not actually annoyed or anything. Just a reflex whenever someone tried to get your sympathy over something stupid.

“Give me a break. I’m not sharing a table with ‘you know who’. Wouldn’t wanna accidentally break the table with our arguments.” You flashed him a sarcastic smile that made him click his tongue at you in disbelief.

It has been two months since you first went to lunch with Hanbin and you have been doing that ever since. You noticed that his demeanour was starting to change too around you, maybe there was a mutual feeling settling in between the two of you after all.

It was a Saturday afternoon and you already made plans with Hanbin a week prior. He wanted to bring you out on a date to the amusement park and then maybe grab some supper before heading home. He picked you up at your apartment that evening in his jeep, looking quite handsome if you say so yourself.

The two of you spent the evening together, adrenaline rushing through you thanks to the rides you took. After enjoying yourselves at the amusement park, you were both tired from having fun so he offered to stop by and grab supper with you before sending you home.

You ended up getting fast food at the diner downtown. You were happy. You were grateful that he was nothing but sweet to you. But for some reason, deep down there was that voice in you that was screaming, “He’s not the one” and you hated it. You didn’t want to rely on the marking to determine your happiness.

What if you belonged to someone who has a different marking than you?

That’s possible right?

So when he finally parked right outside your apartment complex, he turned off the engine leaving his key in the ignition. The car fell silent for a moment before you decided to be brave and spoke up.

“Do you… wanna come up for a bit? We can talk for a while longer?”

With that, Hanbin frowned as he wondered if he should. He didn’t want to ruin a first date and he most definitely did not want you to have a bad impression on him.

“Are… Are you sure?” He asked quietly, to which you nodded.

When you didn’t get a proper response, you simply let out a soft giggle followed by, “come on” before you opened his jeep door to board off the vehicle. You left him no choice but to follow after you. Once you’ve made it to your apartment, you unlocked your front door and stepped inside allowing him to enter.

It took him a while as his eyes travelled all over your cosy apartment, admiring the minimalist interior. You told him to take a seat while you went to get him a drink.

A few minutes passed and you were both just talking freely on your couch when you noticed how his eyes always flickered down to your lips constantly as you spoke. This made you stifle a giggle and he caught on. He apologized for it but you brushed it off.

Just then, the room felt quiet all of a sudden as it was your turn to glance down to his lips.

Hanbin softly smiled as he began to lean closer.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you could feel his warmth radiating off his body from how close he was to you.

Right when you felt your head get dizzy from the close proximity, you unconsciously whispered against his lips something that you would never normally do.

“Kiss me.”

With that being said, he pressed his plump lips on yours.

Immediately intoxicating you with how sweet he tasted. The kiss slowly got heated as he carefully guided your body back to lay on the couch while he hovered over you. His hands slid past the hem of your shirt, resting on your waist as he caressed your skin.

You slide your hands up his chest, wrapping them around his neck. He slowly pushed your shirt up using his wrists. Right when he’d just pulled away for a breather, his eyes travelled down to your bare torso beneath him.

His gaze seemed stuck on whatever he was looking at. When you realized he stopped and was staring at something on your body, you knew exactly what he saw.

“Is that…?” His voice was soft, almost sounding as though he was upset.

“Yeap…”

With this confession, he slowly pulled away from you, tugging your shirt back down and bringing you to a sitting position.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” He began but you were quick to hush him.

“It’s okay… Besides, I should be the one saying sorry. I already saw your marking the other day when you wore a tank top to class. I just thought you’d be okay with dating someone who doesn’t share the same mark as you. I guess I was being selfish…” You said.

Hanbin remained quiet as he listened to your reasoning. Suddenly feeling bad for stopping whatever you two were sharing, so abruptly like that. With that, he reached out to hold your hand, telling him that he was still sorry for reacting that way and for hurting your feelings by doing so.

But he told you he didn’t regret taking you out on a date today, that he genuinely had a good time with you and that he would love to still be friends with you if you allowed him.

You smiled at him before turning your attention to the flower pot sitting on your coffee table only for him to continue, “I just hope that you’ll find someone who will love you for who you are, doesn’t matter the mark.” For that, you smiled again. Thanking him for being sweet and thoughtful.

After he left, you couldn’t help but sigh. This was already the umpteenth time this happened to you.

But you couldn’t stay mad at Hanbin for turning you down simply because he didn’t reject you the way your other ex dates did. That was the reason why you let him go without holding a grudge.

The next few weeks, you’ve gone to lunch on an alternate basis between Hanbin and the guys. And every time you went with the guys, you could only prepare yourself for the constant bickering with the one and only, Min Yoongi and today was no different.

You were sitting next to Namjoon at the end of the table with the only space left empty being beside you. And it was as though luck wasn’t on your side, the only human left to arrive for lunch was none other than Yoongi himself.

You were just sipping your green tea when you heard his voice approaching towards your side of the table.

“Sorry hyung, that’s the only seat left.” Jungkook smiled sympathetically to the elder as you made it a point to not spare a glance over to him. You could hear his grunt of disapproval but nonetheless plopped his bag down on the chair before disappearing to buy his food.

When he did come back, you had just gotten a whole chunk of chocolate fudge cake shoved into your mouth by Taehyung who was seated opposite you.

You were unable to pull the dangling piece of cake into your mouth so you tilted your head back. But instead of the cake entering your mouth, it ended up falling into your hands when you felt your head crash into something behind you.

And the hiss just told you who it was.

“Watch it before I spill hot soup on you.” Yoongi said as he placed the bowl of steaming noodle soup on the table top beside your tray.

“Don’t worry because I’ll make sure it spills on you too.” You challenged him back, earning a glare from him.

You heard a few sighs coming from some of the guys but you couldn’t care less. You busied yourself by scrolling through your social media in hopes that the time would just pass by quicker so that you can be away from him after lunch ends.

A few days later, you had just finished your shower when you noticed your mark slowly growing more and more opaque. To which you could finally see the design of it.

It was a dream catcher.

A pretty one at that. You softly traced your finger over the outline of the detail, keeping your eye on the reflection. Just then, a soft sigh left your lips.

This means that your designated soulmate has supposedly crossed your path more than once. But seeing how the ink is getting darker with each passing day, could only mean that if not often, this person is near you at least more than 3 times a week.

A week went by and Jungkook had invited you to his birthday slash pool party that weekend. He invited only the guys and some of their girlfriends. You’ve met the girlfriends a few times and they’ve all been pretty sweet to you so far. All of them are so down to earth. You told Jungkook you’ll be there, earning a happy soft clap from him when you said so.

On the day of the party, you had just finished your shower when you noticed the water droplets underneath you weren’t clear. You looked harder only to realize those weren’t water.

It was blood.

“Great… Thanks mother nature…” You huffed as you went to get your feminine item from your cupboard. After successfully changing into the attire you chose for the day, you tied your hair into a messy ponytail before leaving your bathroom.

You wore simple denim shorts and a loose shirt tucked into your jeans.

When you actually made it to Jungkook’s house, you were surprised to know that he was living in a one story house with a built-in pool ready when he moved in.

Apparently his parents were pretty wealthy people so they bought this house for him, saying it would give him the opportunity to take responsibility in keeping the house clean and tidy rather than his mother having to do it for him all the time.

You called Jungkook’s phone only for him to pick up on the second ring. You told him you were at his front gate so he hung up the call and rushed over to you.

Once you were inside his beautiful compound, he brought you towards the back through his side garden. Distinct voices gradually get louder the nearer you get to them. The minute you turned round the corner, you instantly saw more than half of them in the pool including the ladies.

Seokjin and Taehyung were over at the barbeque grill, cooking the meat for everyone. There was a table filled with all kinds of snacks and sweet drinks. It was a full on pool party.

Just then, a familiar voice rings in your ear already knowing it belonged to Hoseok.

“Y/N! You made it! Come join us!”

You stopped at one of the chairs only to put your sling bag down and apologized to him, “Sorry to burn the mood, but I can’t. Monthly calls.” You could hear some whines and sad pouts forming on some of their faces right after.

“Aww man, that’s a total bummer.” Jimin said, making you shrug.

However, you noticed a figure leaning against the wall on the other side of the pool just blankly staring at you. That’s when you glanced over to see Yoongi. You held your stare for a moment before you turned away. Missing the way he was still staring at you even when you were making your way to Seokjin and Taehyung.

A few minutes later, you were just talking to Jiyeon who was taking a break from being in the pool. You sat facing each other but from where you were seated, your back was facing the grilling pit.

Jiyeon was just talking to you about baking when you noticed someone swimming to the side that was aligned with where you were sitting.

Only to realize it was Yoongi.

He placed his hands on the edge of the pool and soon pushed himself upwards. You watched as water flowed down his body effortlessly. Cursing yourself for even staring at his shirtless form. He pushed his wet hair out of his face, resulting in him having sort of a slick back hairstyle.

He was too busy talking to Hoseok and Jungkook who were still in the pool, his head completely turned away from you.

Right when you were about to look away, your eyes caught sight of the imprinted ink on his left rib. You didn’t think much of it as you turned away from him. But then something in your brain ticked you off like a time bomb. So you carefully turned back to him just a few feet away from you.

That’s when you saw it.

The dream catcher on his left rib is so prominent and bold against his milky skin. Not to mention his toned abs. A soft gasp left your lips as he walked past you without sparing a single glance at you.

But you didn’t mind it. You were glad he didn’t see how shocked you were because if it did, he would have said something about it.

So instead, you just got up and left, entering Jungkook’s home through the glass doors frantically. You rushed in and went straight to the said destination. Once inside, you took a moment to steady your breathing as you brought your gaze up to the long mirror that laid upon you on the wall landscape.

You carefully pulled your shirt up to expose the ink on your own skin. You could only stare at it through the reflection before looking down at your own torso and gently tracing your finger over the outer rim of the dream catcher’s hoop.

You didn’t know how long you were gone for. It wasn’t until a voice broke your train of thoughts.

“Was it really necessary to rush into someone’s house like-”

However, his speech got stuck in his throat when his eyes flickered over to the reflection in the mirror. No it wasn’t your face he was staring at. It wasn’t the soap bottles lining Jungkook’s sink.

It was your mark on your left rib.

You swiftly pulled your shirt down to hide it from him from seeing any more details of it. With quick hasty steps, you turned to leave the bathroom and had barely taken a step out into the hallway when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to face him.

“Show me.” He said firmly.

“Show you what?”

“Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I- I don’t know what you mean-”

Without warning, Yoongi used his free hand to lift your shirt up to stop right below your bra line as his hands naturally cupped your sides to keep your shirt there. He finally caught a clear look of the inked design on you, seeing how familiar it looked to him.

You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes flicked wider for just a millisecond before it went back to its original state.

For some reason, your lung felt restricted and your heart dropped upon seeing the same mark on his skin at the same exact spot as yourself. You wanted to run away. All you wanted to do now was to be as far away from him as you can.

So you slapped his hands away, making him lose his grip on you before you turned around to leave.

He grabbed your wrist again but this time, you mustered whatever strength you had left to yank your arm from him. Tears stinging your eyes as it threatens to fall, yet you don’t fully understand why.

“Don’t! J-Just… leave me alone… please.” Your voice falls into a whisper as you rush to the backyard, ignoring their worried calls as you simply told them you weren’t feeling well because of your monthly calls. When Yoongi did come back to the backyard, he was questioned as to what happened back in the house and why you looked like you were about to cry.

Yoongi couldn’t help but stare at your descending back just in time before you turned the corner and disappeared fully from sight. Only for him to lie to them despite knowing exactly why you left.

“She wasn’t feeling well.”

The week went by and you have been avoiding coming relatively close to the rest other than the 2 who were obviously unavoidable. But it’s not like you had anything against them. You just wanted to avoid Yoongi at all costs for now. It was a Friday and you had just finished your classes for the day when the two boys exchanged glances to each another before Jungkook spoke up.

“Hey, do you wanna grab something to eat with us after this?” You knew he was being nice. You knew he wasn’t to blame for Yoongi having the same exact soulmate mark as you. So for that, you chose not to lash out at him.

“It’s fine. I’ll pass.” You smiled half heartedly and they could tell. But thankfully, they chose not to question further.

The three of you were walking towards the main entrance as usual when you saw the rest of the group seeming to wait for you three. You glanced up to Jungkook beside you who gestured a small wave to the others, only for you to accidentally look over.

And the first thing you saw was Yoongi already looking at you.

Great.

Before you could get to close, you bid your goodbyes to your friends as you separated from them to head towards the gates. Nobody has yet to know why you were acting this way other than Yoongi himself. You were just halfway through the parking lot when a firm grip on your wrist made you turn after being tugged back gently.

You nearly crashed into the figure whom you weren’t surprised when you saw it was him.

“Stop acting like a child.” He said, his tone held something much more than just firmness. He sounded like he’s… hurt almost.

“So what? This marking thing is a load of bullshit. Why does it determine who we should be with? That’s unfair! I’ve seen couples who have different marks and yet they’re still happy together?!” You said, clearly letting your emotions take over your mind.

“If you think it’s bullshit then why are you ignoring me like I’ve just killed your pet?!” He asked, his voice now a tad louder than it was before.

“Because all the guys I’ve tried dating care too much about these marks! Every single one of them ditched me when they found out I didn’t have the same mark! And what are the odds that the one person who has the same exact mark as me, happens to be the one person that has been nothing but a daily source of fight with me?” You paused as his grip on you loosened, his glare suddenly softened.

“Of course I couldn’t believe it… I didn’t want to believe that of all people, it’s you… That’s why I ignore you.” Your voice grew soft as you saw the way his eyes flickered back and forth on your own brown pupils.

“So you’re saying you hate me? Is that it?” His question was simple but it held a thousand meanings and you knew it.

“I don’t even know anymore, Yoongi…” You whispered as you slowly pulled your hand out of his grip and quickly left before he could say anything else. Yoongi stood there trying to process everything. Still not entirely sure of what just happened. Just then, a gentle hand on his shoulder made him return back to reality.

“Hey man, you okay?” Namjoon’s calm voice spoke from beside Yoongi as the latter could only nod.

“We heard your conversation… Well, we didn’t intend to anyways… But, is it true? That you both have the same mark?” Namjoon continued.

He could hear the soft, quiet curse leaving Yoongi’s lips during his exhale before he spoke up, “Yeah… That was actually the reason why she abruptly left during Jungkook’s pool party.” Yoongi explained and it all began to fall into place for Namjoon. The younger could only nod as he finally put the pieces together.

“Mmm, and so I’m guessing she’s too overwhelmed with the fact that you have the mark out of a billion people to walk this planet?” Namjoon said.

“Bingo.” Yoongi sighed as the two began to walk back to their friends who were still gathered at the entrance despite hearing the commotion earlier. If space is what you need, then space is what he shall give. But of course, you can’t run from him forever.

It has been two weeks since your outburst with Yoongi and you have been keeping your distance from him again. The guys also didn’t try to tag you along knowing fully well that you needed space from Yoongi. For that, you silently thanked them. It was a Saturday night and you had made it a point to go for a quick grocery run to stock up your refrigerator with edible food.

After getting all the items you needed, you went to the queue. The lady at the counter scanned every item on the conveyor belt and went ahead to put it in the plastic bag before telling you the total cost.

You were about to reach into your jeans pocket when you noticed them being flat.

You felt around the pockets of your jeans and it was in fact empty. With that being said, you mentally cursed yourself for not bringing your wallet with you. Not only that, this store was the only one nearest to your apartment and it was closing in 10 minutes.

You wouldn’t make it back in time if you went home now to retrieve your wallet.

So you apologized to the lady who looked equally done with her job as you left the store empty handed. You were just walking down the partially empty street when you felt something drop onto your cheek. You stopped walking to feel what it was. Before you could touch your cheek, another drop hits the top of your head. And then another. And another.

“Fuck my life…”

You whispered to yourself as the sky suddenly began to downpour on you. Watching as some people ran across the road for shelter, some whips out their umbrella to shield them from the rain, some simply stayed indoors to avoid being caught in the rain.

However, you were too tired to even care about seeking shelter. Feeling as if today was the worst day of your life.

You continued to stroll down the street completely soaked under the rain.

You wrapped your arms around yourself in attempts to keep yourself warm but it clearly did no shit for you. Absent minded to notice your surroundings, you didn’t hear the calls for your name until the vehicle came to a gradual slow speed beside you on the street.

“Y/N!”

It was Yoongi.

“Leave me alone…”

“Y/N, why in the world are you walking in the heavy rain? You might fall sick, you dummy.”

“Who c-cares?” Your lips were starting to quiver from the cold.

“I do.”

You could’ve sworn your heart just skipped a beat at that response.

“Look, let me take you to my place and get you dry clothes while waiting for the rain to stop. I’ll send you home after.” He said.

“I d-don’t need your… h-help, Yoongi.”

He let out a soft groan in annoyance with your stubbornness, only to drive a little further down before bringing the car to a complete stop. You were about to carry on walking but your feet just came to a halt when you saw him running out of his car and coming to you.

“Come on and stop whining like a little kid.” Yoongi said as he grabbed your wrist and began jogging back to his car, pulling you into the passenger side before going back to the driver seat.

Once safely inside, he drove off into the night and made a left turn at the junction while your apartment building was to the right and probably about a 20 minutes walk. The car ride was quiet as neither of you said anything. You simply let him do what he said he would. When he finally brought the car to a park, he turned off the engine and soon climbed out of the vehicle.

You followed suit as he had already come over to your side to hold the door for you. After he’d locked the car, he led you to his apartment complex as you followed behind him. You took in the interior of his apartment complex, it looked slightly older than yours but still well maintained.

Apparently, he lived on the 14th floor unlike you who lived on the 5th floor.

He soon pulls out his house key and proceeds to unlock his front door. He opens the door for you, letting you step inside first. Once he had closed the door behind him, he told you to wait there as he excused himself to go get you a clean towel and new dry clothes for you to change into.

You took in the minimalist setting of his apartment, quite similar to yours except your walls are white and his is grey.

Yoongi came back with a handful, telling you where the bathroom was.

You followed his directions and soon closed the bathroom door once you’ve stepped inside. In the meantime, Yoongi had gone to change out of his own wet clothes into a clean pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie. He was boiling hot water to make hot chocolate for the two of you when you cleared your throat behind him.

He turned around at the sound, only for him to scheme through your outfit in which he had so specifically chosen for you. He had lent you one of his sleeping shorts and an oversized black hoodie that looked a little too big on you.

But for some reason, you looked good in them.

He almost had to pinch himself for staring too long before he finally spoke up, “Uhh, my dryer’s in the laundry room. Second door to the left.”

You nodded as you disappeared back down the hall, only for him to mentally curse himself for losing his composure. After 2 minutes or so, you came back having managed to turn the dryer on.

He handed you the cup of hot chocolate, not forgetting to thank him for it.

There was a short moment of peaceful silence before he gestured over to his living room. The both of you went over to the couch as you sat on either ends of the furniture. He turned his tv on and was busying himself with searching through Netflix when you mustered up the courage to ask him what was on your mind for the past half an hour.

“Why did you help me?”

Yoongi turned to you briefly, unsure if he should answer the question truthfully.

“As much as we fight, I’m not entirely heartless.”

Your eyes bore into him as you soon found yourself looking down at your hands when he turned to look at you. If it wasn’t for the tv, you knew for a fact that he could’ve heard the thumping of your heart. Silence fell over you two again but he broke it as soon as it started.

“Why were you walking in the rain?”

“I was on a grocery run.”

“But I don’t recall seeing you carry any bags of groceries?”

“That’s because I couldn’t pay for it without my wallet…”

He raised his eyebrows at you in disbelief, finding it ridiculous that you only realized it when you were checking out of the store.

“Shut up. This kind of stuff happens okay…” You scoffed, earning a quiet chuckle coming from him followed by an, “Okay, okay.” The room fell silent again and you were just playing with the strings of your hoodie.

Silently wishing for time to pass quicker but it seems like the rain only got heavier.

“Look, I think we should just forget about the whole marking thing and just… start over?” He said, causing you to look at him but he seemed like he was diligently avoiding your gaze.

“Start… over?” You dragged your words to show that you wanted a slightly more detailed explanation.

“What I mean is… let’s stop ignoring each other and stop fighting over the smallest little issues like we did when we were young. Back then we were still young and immature. But we’re not anymore, are we?” He ended with a question, making you huff.

You know he has a point but your ego is still higher than ever.

“Are you only saying this because I’m your soulmate?”

“No. I really am tired of fighting with you.”

“Why now? Why only want to call truce after you’ve seen my mark? Doesn’t that say a lot?” You were stubborn and he knows it. And yet, he still answers you to clear all your doubts.

Surprisingly patient with you.

“I know it might look like what you think, but it’s really not. I don’t care about the marking much like you. But after thinking about it, I feel like it’s actually childish to hold a grudge on each other for the things we’ve done years ago, don’t you think?” He explained, hoping it’ll get past that rock solid head of yours.

Your heart knows he’s right but your mind forces you to say otherwise.

With that, you huffed as you got up and excused yourself to go check on your clothes. Before you could make it past the first door on the left, he grabbed your wrist and tugged you back.

He pressed you against the wall with his other hand beside your head to trap you.

Your free hand hovered in between both yours and his chest as he was less than 4 inches away. Your faces were so close you could feel his breath hitting your lips. You would’ve slapped him if he did this years ago.

But now?

“Why are you so stubborn?”

He asked, his voice low as you kept your heated gaze on his eyes even though you saw the way his eyes flickered back and forth between your eyes and lips.

Rising heat from both anger and his body temperature radiated off him, engulfing you like a cocoon. You could’ve sworn you saw his pupils dilate a few times now that he was this close to you. It was quiet in the hallway as he frowned, still waiting for an answer from you. But instead, you gently pressed your hand on his warm chest that was in between your bodies.

This was enough to make him flinch slightly. His crammed face relaxed for a moment when he looked down at your hand on his chest before looking back at you.

Even more confusion struck him.

Your heart was racing rapidly in your chest, and you were so sure he could hear it. You couldn’t bear to look at him any longer so you looked down at your hand as you slid it up towards the necklace he was wearing. Playing with the pendant in between your fingers.

You didn’t realise this but his grip on your wrist was long gone and was now slowly snaking that arm around your waist.

Yoongi leaned in very subtly to let his lips brush against yours just to see your reaction. He closed his eyes, taking in the feeling of having you this close for the first time. You did the same as your other hand rested on his left bicep. Before you knew it, he closed whatever remaining gaps in between only to kiss you.

Your heart exploded in your chest as he used the hand beside your head to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch while you reciprocated the kiss. Yoongi’s grip on your waist tightened as he pulled you against him.

He felt both your hands now just holding onto his biceps for support, his lips tugging upwards against your mouth.

You could feel his muscles flexing under your fingertips as he pulled away from your mouth and was now trailing soft kisses down your neck. A soft sigh left your lips, feeling him give some love to the part that joins your neck and shoulder blade together.

“Yoongi…” Your voice came out as a mere whisper.

Just when you wanted to say something, your breath hitched in your throat when you felt his hands slip past your shirt only to rest them on your sides when your mark was.

His touch was gentle but it definitely did something to your poor heart.

“Answer me truthfully… Are you okay with… this?” Yoongi asked, gesturing between you and him. “With us? Because you can say no if you’re really against this. I would never force you.”

You stared at him for a while, rethinking your answer. You’ve been so firm about not caring who has the same soulmate mark as you because you thought it was all bullshit. But now, standing in front of him and knowing that he has the mark, not only that but he seemed like he really genuinely likes you is making it twice harder for you to say no.

But your silence was too long for him as he counted to 3 in his mind. When you didn’t respond, he slowly nodded. Pulling himself away to leave a space between you.

“It’s okay, I understand… I think your clothes are dry. Go change, I’ll wait outside.” His voice was quiet as if he’s too upset, he can’t even look you in the eye. You felt bad. You never wanted him to feel this way. So when he turned in his heels to walk away, you yearned for him to come back.

Yoongi was halfway down his living room when he felt a smaller hand slide into his right one. His step came to a halt as he kept his back to you.

He was about to ask if there's something wrong but all he got was a soft apology.

“I’m sorry…”

You watched as he remained still, his back still facing you. Doing nothing to turn and look at you. Yoongi wasn’t sure what he wanted to do at the moment so he kept quiet.

Just then, you used your other hand to cup his that you were already holding. He would be lying if he said he didn’t like this. But he definitely wasn’t prepared for what you were about to do next. You weren’t sure if you trust your voice so instead, you took a few steps closer before wrapping your arms around his waist.

Pressing your cheek against his back. You stayed like that for a few seconds, basking in the sweet vanilla scent of his.

You could feel him tense up when you first hugged him but he soon relaxed in your arms.

You didn’t dare to do anything else, all until you felt him softly caress your arms only to lock his fingers with yours over top of your hands. You only nuzzled your face deeper into his back, afraid to look at him.

But when you feel him slowly move around in your arms, that’s when you let him face you.

The minute he sees your face, he immediately cups your cheeks and wasted no time in kissing you ever so sweetly. The butterflies in your stomach erupted as you snaked your arms around his shoulders, feeling him pull you closer to him by your waist.

He held you securely against him all the while never leaving your lips. You were the first to pull away, keeping the distance small between you and him.

Your eyes were still closed so you depended on your senses.

That wasn’t until you felt him cup your face again, caressing your cheek with his thumbs. The room fell silent as he brushed his soft lips against yours and whispered to you quietly, “Can we start over?”

You opted for just a nod, unsure if you could trust your voice. You opened your eyes to see him staring at you so softly with his doe round eyes.

Yoongi smiled, whispering an ‘okay’ before he kissed you again. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you melted against his lips. He took his time with you, making sure you were comfortable and that you really wanted this. He never wanted to hurt you in any way. He kept asking for your permission before he did anything and you appreciated it.

You woke up the next morning to a warm feeling engulfing you from behind. You stirred in your sleep, trying to see what it was. But the squeeze around your waist made you look down to see the familiar arm draped over your waist, tucking his hands underneath you. The silver bracelet around his right wrist could never be mistaken for someone else.

Just when you were about to snuggle deeper into the warmth of his body, you felt him kiss the back of your head. Your heart pounded in your chest, stomach flipped in your belly.

“Mmm, good morning.” He whispered, his morning voice low and raspy.

You sighed in content as you turned around to face him, only to find that he still had his eyes closed but there was a smile that crept on his lips.

With that, you smiled as you planted a soft kiss on his lips. You could feel him smirk against your lips, earning a soft giggle from you. His arm that was supporting your head, bent at the elbows as he began to play with your soft hair.

The next day, you came to school feeling a little down in the weather. Maybe it was a late reaction to when you got drenched in the rain. You were sniffling in your seat when Taehyung and Jungkook immediately caught the sight of your red nose.

“Hey, are you sick? Your nose is red.” Jungkook said, his voice laced with full concern. You simply shook him off saying it was just light flu.

The other two weren’t buying it, they said they would go get medicine for you after class and you all but rejected them. The last thing you’d wanna do was to burden them.

So after your morning class has ended and you have been dismissed for lunch, the three of you made it to the cafeteria only to find the rest of the guys already seated. But you and Yoongi still haven’t told them about your resolve yet. So they thought you two were still ignoring each other.

“Hey guys! Y/N? Are you okay? You look kind of pale…” Namjoon asked, making you smile.

“It’s just a little flu, that’s all.” You said, completely missing the way Yoongi was staring at you with pure concern.

“Do you wanna go home and rest?” Hoseok asked in which you shook your head, before a squeaky sneeze left your lips not forgetting to cover your mouth while you did. “Sorry…” You whispered an apology, earning a few laughs from them. Just then, Yoongi got up without a word, leaving the table.

You watched as he disappeared down the aisle towards the drink stall. You wondered what he was doing but nevertheless shrugged, going to the empty seats beside him and Jimin.

You took a seat beside Yoongi’s empty chair, not really having the appetite to eat.

You were just rejecting Jimin’s offer to feed you some of his food when Yoongi came back with a glass of hot tea, a bottle of water and a strip of two panadol flu tablets. The rest of them watched quietly as he sat down beside you and handed you the drinks.

“Here, take this.” He said softly, pulling your hand up to push the two tablets out of the strip onto your open palms.

“Oh? Since when are you guys on good terms?” Taehyung asked in utter confusion.

“We’re not. We’re just acting.” Yoongi replied sarcastically before twisting the bottle cap open for you. He waited for you to throw your head back and let the tablets fall into your mouth before gulping down the water.

After you were done, you thanked him quietly. You didn’t miss the little smirk on his face.

“Okay…” Seokjin said as he gently slammed his hands onto the table top, making some of you flinch.

“What’s going on? Last week you were both ignoring each other and now you’re taking care of her like she means the world to you?” He asked as you turned to Yoongi for help.

“Don’t you know the saying ‘People change’?” Yoongi said.

“Of course, but it’s almost too drastic. Just over the weekend too.” Seokjin said in disbelief.

“Well, I guess it happens.” Yoongi shrugged as Jungkook directed his question to you.

“So I’m guessing you too?”

“No. I still hate him.” You lied.

“Is that so? Then why are you holding his pinkie?” Hoseok smirked, pointing to your intertwined pinkie on the table. With that, you quickly removed your hands from Yoongi.

“Hey... Why did you let go? I was about to play with your fingers.”

Yoongi said with a small pout, making you blush. Just then, Yoongi reached back over to lace his fingers with yours, resting your hands on his lap only to steal a quick kiss to your cheek.

This stirred a few dramatic gasps from your other friends. “Did you guys see that?! That was- omg!” Seokjin’s voice was too loud, making Jimin cover his mouth with his hands.

“Oh hush your pie hole dust. Just let me be happy for once.” Yoongi smirked as you felt him caress the back of your hand. He’s definitely going to be a handful but you’re more than happy to entertain his crap.

~~~

[angellissy]

Hey :) I’ve never requested anything before so I’m sorry if i do it wrong hahah

But could I request something where instead of ward faking his death it’s rafe who has to do it and none of the pouges know about your relationship until it’s you crying in the dock instead of Sarah. And when you and the piggies go on the “rescue” mission to get Sarah off of the boat you see rafe and eventually end up staying with him and leaving your friends

I’m sorry if this is really long xx thank you for taking the time to read my request

R E A C H I N G  F O R  T H E  S U R F A C E

SEASON TWO SPOILERS!

rafe Cameron x Reader

warnings: angst with a big a, canon rafe (maybe a bit softer), toxic relationship, rafe playing the victim card, death and talks of suicide.

a/n: I feel like it is of importance that I tell you all that I have done everything in my power not to romanticize the rafe cameron character and if I have then please kindly let me know because sometimes it can be hard. However I still need to say that I am writing through the eyes of the “reader” who very much still cares for this boy, which also means that the way the reader deals with things might not have been your way. If any more warnings should be included in the beginning, feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy this fic which I am actually very proud of. A big thanks to @snkkat​ who is my proof reading buddy. Also thanks for sending in the request, I LOVED writing it! <3

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, but how about when you watch someone else die? For as you watched him die, the life and moments the two of you had shared flashed before your eyes like a string of reminders of a life and love lost. It felt as if there was no air for you to breathe, you weren’t even sure how long it had been since you managed to take a full breath. Your mind was running in circles, trying to grasp what had just occurred, replaying the scene over and over again until you were not even sure what reality you were in. With a hammering heart and a split soul, you were kneeling on the dock, just minutes after watching your first love take his own life. You could not even remember how you had gotten out here in the first place, you just wished that you would have stayed behind as all your friends rushed toward a disaster in waiting. Perhaps that would have spared you some of the heartbreak, spared you from hearing him scream that he loved you one last time, spared you from seeing his boat go up in flames. But no, you were sure that for as long as you lived, you would see that blazing inferno whenever you closed your eyes.

There were arms around you, an attempt to soothe your shaking body, it only made you feel more trapped in a memory you would never escape. Those arms lifted you up and suddenly you were walking, mixed in all the anger and sadness there was a surprise that your body was even able to function. It felt as if you were outside of your body watching everything occur, you watched as Kiara and JJ helped you sit down on a sofa and as they draped a blanket over your shoulders. You watched it unfold, but you couldn’t feel it and there was no way that you would be able to respond to their worried questions. Instead, you were stuck in a mind that replayed everything Rafe had ever said or done to you as if that somehow could manifest him back to life. That stuck-up boy with the golden hair had been your first boyfriend, complicated as the relationship may have been, it had been the first time you ever experienced something close to love. Just days ago you had stood before him, tears in your eyes and heart in your throat as you called the relationship off. For a very long time, he had not been the boy you fell for, but rather a ghost of who he once was. Where he had once been sweet and tender with you, there had only been cold stares and words sharp enough to cut through ice. You were not oblivious to the fact that he struggled with issues you could never comprehend, but you refused to be an accomplice in his undoing. Time after time you had tried to be the person he could cling to when the world sat heavily upon his shoulders, but you soon realized that love and affection could not solve all problems. Oh, and you had loved him so much that you would have done anything for him to smile at you the way he had when he uttered those big three words for the first time. He had watched you with eyes that held so much adoration that you thought that they would never dim, that they would shine brighter for each time his eyes found yours. But eventually, they had dulled, and so you had realized that you would not sacrifice yourself no matter how much you cared for him. It did not matter that you had called things off with him or that you had decided to leave him in order to save yourself, for the knowledge that he was actually gone made it feel like someone was clawing at your heart and trying to rip it apart. It felt like no time in the world would be able to heal the pain in your chest or dry the tears falling from your eyes.

Time was indeed a funny thing, how seconds turned into minutes and how then those minutes became hours. Hours that you spent reminiscing over a life you thought you had given up before it was lost forever. You clung to the memories of him as if they were the lifebuoy keeping an anchor from pulling you down in a sea made up of your own sorrow. You knew that you were staying in your own made-up memories of a relationship with more bad times than good, but a part of you felt that you could not grieve the person he had become. For he had been vile and horrid, and if you acknowledged that, you would feel guilty for the sadness overwhelming you. So yes, you stayed in your made-up reality and wept for the boy that could have been. As hours turned into days, your friends made every effort to comfort you and try to get you out of the room that had become your place of mourning. Their tries aggravated you, for they did not understand the feelings rushing through your body at such speed it made you lightheaded. Each one of them had hated Rafe Cameron with at least one bone in their body and you knew how some of them had looked the day he died as if they were content that he was finally gone. Relieved that he could no longer plague them with taunts and threats that might have become reality was it not for his passing. You might have understood this, had it not been for the grief and guilt plaguing every bone in your body.

As days turned into weeks, you eventually came to appreciate their efforts to help you. It was like your vision was starting to clear and you could finally start trying to live your life again, and the first step to doing that was always to surround yourself with people that made you roar with laughter. Their ventures to try and find the Cross of Santo Domingo, were helpful, to say the least. Those adventures were as distracting as they were terrifying since the outcome was never given. Your mixed friend group of pogues and kooks had actually found that damn cross as well. Who would have thought that a bunch of high school kids would be able to find a historic relic? The answer would have been no one, and that is why you don’t underestimate kids with no limits. The cross had been in your grasp until a greedy and manipulative Ward Cameron came along and grabbed it. Ever since that particular happening, things started going south fast and it all ended up with Sarah being kidnapped by her own guardians. It also ended up with the rest of you stowed away like cargo on the ship she was on. While John B and Pope carried out their plan to find Sarah and the famous cross, you, JJ, and Kie sweated from every pore as you waited to hear from them. You had zoned out, staring mindlessly into one of the walls of the container, in the background you could hear your two friends talk about their dreams for the future. Something about going on several surfing trips at various destinations with each other, and that part made your heart ache. Sure, after everything he had done, a future with Rafe had not been one of your dreams. Still, as you listened to your friends talk, you could only remember a time where he had been everything you wanted in life. You pressed your palms upon your face as if you somehow could force every memory of him to remain in that little part of your brain where you were hoping they would become forgotten. A loud clank dragged you out of your thoughts and you looked up just in time to see Pope and John B climb in through that small window opening, followed by a woman you had never ever seen. Shortly after that, problems started to arise and soon all of you were scrambling out of the container in hopes of not being detected by the workers on the boat. They were in obvious search of all of you, which made you sweat even more than you had done inside the container. All of you received different plans on how to tackle the situation, yours was to act as a lookout for John B as he searched for Sarah.

You followed him down to what you could only assume was the boiler room since steam was thick in the air and you took your place by the door as he ventured further down. His desperate cries for Sarah echoed through the room and you dearly wished for a response to be heard, but there was nothing except the sound of his shoes against the floor. Thump, thump, thump and then utter silence until John B utters a name that made it feel as if the floor was pulled away from under your feet.

“Rafe.”

One of your hands finds the doorframe, a poor attempt to steady yourself as you try to figure out if this is a trick played by your grieving mind. You take a few breaths and as the silence is once again interrupted by two raised voices, you follow John B’s path down into the room. The heart in your chest is beating so hard that it feels like you are going to throw up, and it only gets worse the nearer you come. At first, you only see your friend, but then you look past him

and

your

heart

stops.

Rafe Cameron had died in front of your very eyes, so either the gods were playing a nasty cruel joke or you had lost the battle with your mind. You shut your eyes just to open them again, and no matter how many times you did it, he still remained. What happened next was a bit peculiar to you, for weeks you had drowned in grief where sadness was the constant emotion, but as you looked him in the eye and saw that he was very much alive, rage and anger crushed into you with the force of a thousand waves. You stepped toward him, only for an arm to shoot out to stop you, and John B added to his gesture by saying “Don’t”. Laughter bubbled in your throat, for who was he to tell you what you could or could not say to your “dead” ex-boyfriend who seemed to never stop causing you grief.

“Find Sarah.” John B hesitated for a few moments before following your unspoken order to leave you and Rafe alone. It wasn’t surprising considering that his worry for Sarah would always overpower anything else. Once again you looked into Rafe’s blue eyes, remembering a time when you used to stare in them for so long you would see specks of green and grey. Had you searched for those colors now, you would probably have found them. However, you were trying to decipher whatever feeling that was shining in them, was it anger? No, his other features were too soft for that and the hand holding his weapon had gone slack as he watched you. Maybe it was relief? No that was not it either, for why would he be relieved to see you? You were not the one who had died and left the other behind. You stepped even closer to him, the simmering anger inside of your veins made your hands shake and he looked at them briefly as if he wanted to take them in his. Your hands clenched into fists and you watched as his shoulders dropped the tiniest bit, and suddenly you knew exactly what was shining in his eyes.

Love, and sadness. Your heart started to speed up again, and you knew that once you opened your mouth, the anger and grief that had become part of you, would tumble out in words that you would never be able to take back. But he had done something much worse, so he would listen, you would make sure of it. Your lips parted slightly and he must have seen it for his words came first.

“I- fuck I am sorry okay? But I had to do it, you wouldn’t understand but I had to do it, it was the best for everyone.” As he says this you can’t help the sound that slips through your lips, it was supposed to be a laugh but it sounds more like a sob. His eyes flicker between you and everything else in the room as if there was anything in here that could save him for this conversation. You move your hands toward your chest and his eyes watch as you press them hard against your chest, against the heart that won’t stop breaking.

“Best for everyone?” Your voice is the combination of a whisper and a ragged breath “Did you have my best interest in mind when you let me believe you had blown yourself up?” He winces and makes an attempt to say something but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Did it ever occur to you how your little stunt would affect the one person who still, despite everything, loved you?” This time, your voice has started to rise towards something like a scream, and how could you not scream when there is so much sadness inside of you that it felt like just looking at him would turn your body into a pool of water.

“You broke up with me, so don’t start acting like a victim where you aren’t one.” His features are starting to morph into those he carries when anger overcomes him, but you will not back away from this. Your hands are in your hair, pulling at it as if that would help you make sense of this situation. “You broke my heart long before I broke yours.” You can’t help the way your voice breaks or the tears that start falling from your eyes.“You needed and still need help and until you receive that help, you are prone to hurt anyone in your vicinity.” Now it is his turn to drag his hands through his hair and his breaths come faster and faster until you realize that he is starting to hyperventilate. He sinks to the floor and you follow, not sure how to help when it feels like his state is mirroring your own. With cautious movements, you place your hands on his shoulders, and the shaking of his body sends trembles throughout yours. For a while nothing happens, you just sit there with your hands on his body and watch him fall apart. Perhaps you should have been glad that he was suffering, after everything he had done to you he deserved it. But you couldn’t feel anything other than anguish and as a sob escaped his body every restraint you had kept on yourself broke and you hugged him towards your chest. You could never save him, but he clung to you as if you had the power to undo every wrong he had ever done. After a while, he looks up at your tear-streaked face and one of his hands reaches up to cup it. You want to look away because you can see everything in those eyes of his, every regret and every wish he has ever had. His forehead leans towards you and you feel his hot breath against your skin. As you breathe in the scent of cologne and feel his skin against yours, you feel overwhelmed by the fact that he is actually here. You notice that his lips part and for a second you are scared that he is going to kiss you, but he must know that there is a limit to your patience with him so he just whispers words with the promise of what could have been. “I wanted to be good for you.” A small smile takes place on your lips and you close your eyes as you try to restrain the well of emotions inside of you. “I know Rafe, I know.” He breathes out a little, almost as if he is relieved that you are aware that he tried in a world and with a mind constantly working against him. You knew, but you also knew that there was someone else out there for you. Someone who would love you in a way that Rafe would never be able to, in a way that would not send the two of you to the bottom of the ocean. Whoever was out there would make you swim. For so long you had wanted to believe that Rafe was the one, despite all his flaws you would have given anything for him to be your future. It was a relief to know that you could and deserved to have more. But you also knew that you needed to do something before that could happen.

“I will stay-.” Before you could even finish your sentence he whipped his head up to look at you with such hope you never wanted to continue talking. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to go on. “I will stay with you just to make sure you receive the help you need.” His whole body deflated and you had to bite your lip in order not to cry again. Eventually, he nodded and you closed your eyes in relief. You knew that this had to be the right move, no one else would listen to him or make sure he got help, so you needed to be the one to did. Just enough so that you finally could start swimming towards the surface.

[imasimpforshanks]

Heyyyyyy hiiiiii hope your having an awesome day drinking that water getting hydrated 😗. I was wondering if you could do a Law Angst alphabet please. But only if you feel up to it and have time. If you don’t feel free to ignore or do it later here now have a cookie 🍪 because your awesome 😊

Angst Alphabet - Trafalgar Law

a/n: HI HI!!! thank you for your kind words!! I hope you are looking after yourself <333 here is the law angst! Please enjoy 🥰

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

He would only blame himself if any of his actions led to the accident that caused your death (we’ve seen him blame himself for that very reason about Rosinantes death). If his actions weren’t directly correlated to your death in any way then he would not blame himself, though he would kick himself for not being able to help you in time. Other than that, Law is painfully aware of the harsh reality that is life.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

Law would break up with you in a seemingly emotionless way. He’d mask his true feelings, while telling you a whole bunch of excuses why the two of you could no longer be together. He doesn’t believe any of them, but he’s got to do what he’s got to do.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

I feel like I’ve used this one in a few other character alphabets but it really applies to Law too. He would cause you to stress and panic so much over his health and wellbeing. He’s a literal doctor. He should know to take better care of himself, but he just doesn’t seem to care about himself the same way you do. So it isn’t until you’re crying in front of him, spilling your heart out about how concerned you are for his safety that he realizes his health is important to more than just himself.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

My god, if Law was to lose another person that he loved, he literally would never want to let himself get close to anyone ever again. Your death would be it for Law. He’d basically be on the verge of giving up himself. What other reason does he have to go on.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

He tries to hide every emotion. Law doesn’t like to be too open, out of fear of people using it against him or it simply being too much of a sign of weakness. So, very rarely does he let his emotions show. He also tries to divert attention away from himself in hopes that people won’t focus on him or his emotions for too long.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

This was covered in his fluff alphabet! But here it is again:

Your fights tend to be pretty short lived resulting in forgiveness and apologies from both sides relatively quickly. He really doesn’t like to stay mad at you for too long – he’d much rather have you two on the same page.

Most fights are caused by stress and concerns of health and safety, so Law does a lot of eye rolling and using his title as a ‘doctor’ as justification that he knows what he’s doing so you just need to chill – but like I said these fights are very short lived.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

Law will never forgive himself for Rosinantes death. He will forever feel responsible for his death – it was all his fault. If only he hadn’t given that note to Vergo, then Rosinante would still be alive. He died because of Law’s incompetence (at least that’s what he tells himself).

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Law would act pretty normal. He wouldn’t behave any differently until he’s left alone. Only then would he let himself go and truly feel that heartbreak.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Thanks to the doctor in him, Law is able to remain calm. He can keep his composure until he administers whatever treatment necessary. That’s not to say he isn’t worried though. He’s just capable of focusing on the injury right in front of him.

Only once he is certain that you are stable does he (or potentially his crew) go and hunt down the cause of your beating.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When Law does get jealous (which is rarely), he gets quiet. His fists clench a little more, and his frown deepens. He also speaks less than usual (which is already pretty hard to beat). He only gives you short snippy replies until he eventually gets over it.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Law would kill for revenge, yes. He literally wanted to kill Doflamingo as revenge for Rosinante. However, it was in Law’s plan that Kaido would be the one to kill Doflamingo (after they fought) – so I believe that is how he’d kill for revenge as well. He would devise a fool proof plan (okay maybe not fool proof, bc if the straw hats are involved who knows what could go wrong).

In short, yes. Law would kill for revenge.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

This poor man has suffered so much loss in his life that it’s actually really difficult to choose which would be his greatest loss. He lost his entire family as a young boy while also having a shortened lifespan himself. Losing his family, and the realization that he only had a few more years to live, really made him lose his will to live a good remainder of his life. Young Law literally became a pirate.

However, he did meet Rosinante (Corazon) and he gave him another reason to live. Furthermore, Rosinante actively sought out a cure for Law so that he could continue to live a long life. Basically, Rosinante became a father figure/older brother to Law. So, losing him – another ¬person he loved so dearly – would have been beyond devastating.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

There was one day where he spent the entire day ignoring you. It was completely unintentional. His mind was swarming with plans and all this other information that has just come in. He got so immersed in it that he didn’t talk to you or tell you what was going on for a whole day.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

Nightmares are one of the many reasons Law hardly ever sleeps. He’s haunted by his family’s and Rosinantes deaths. His nightmares get particularly bad around the same time each year (that is, around the time of year that they died). He wakes up trembling and on the verge of tears (but he never lets them fall). Instead of even trying to go back to sleep, he’ll make himself a nice hot cup of coffee and immerse himself in a book or work of some kind – anything to avoid going back to sleep and risking a re-run of that horrible nightmare.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

Sometimes his exhaustion catches up to him and other times its all the stress building up that finally he snaps and all the emotions are too overwhelming that he just directs it to the nearest outlet, which just so happens to be you.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

You walked in on him absolutely breaking down over Rosinante. One evening Law retreated to his room while you and the rest of the crew were eating and drinking. He didn’t think you had noticed him leave, but soon you were following after him. You opened the door and found him breaking down in the middle of the room. You completely forgot that it was the anniversary of Rosinantes death. It was the first time you had seen him this distraught and it broke your heart.

It really cemented into your brain that no matter how tough he may look, he still suffers (probably more so than anyone). But, you were also grateful that you were able to see him like that, as it allowed him to start relying on you a little more.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His inability to openly express his emotions. Sure, now he will share with you how he is feeling, but that is with you and ONLY you. He still insists on keeping everything else bottle away from the rest of the world which is a really unhealthy way to deal with things. It’s not that you dislike being there for him, in fact, you appreciate how trusting he is with you. It’s just, what if there comes a time where you aren’t around and he’s in desperate need of someone to confide in?

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around)).

Law would wait until he was 100% certain you returned his feelings to confess to you. So, if you were to reject his confession he would be really confused for a while. He’d let it go because well, everyone has their own reasons – its not his place to tell you how you feel. All he can do is tell you how he feels and then the rest is up to you.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

He has no self-inflicted scars, and to my knowledge he has no battle scars either. But, his arm did get cut off and then reattached during the Dressrosa arc, so it actually is likely that there is a remaining scar from that (although I’m not certain).

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

Nope not at all. In fact, the only instance in which he would possibly break your trust, or lie to you, about is when he went to Punk Hazard and sent his crew to Zou. Some would assume that he wouldn’t tell you his plan out of fear of your safety, but that’s not true. He had to tell you. You taught him to be open and honest, and to trust. So that’s exactly what he did.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

Law has gotten so comfortable around you that whenever you aren’t there, he gets unbearably anxious. Your presence is soothing, even if he can’t see you, even if he can only hear your voice echoing throughout the Polar Tang, it’s enough to put his mind at ease. So, if you are separated for a while… oh boy does he want to see you badly.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

He tends to yell at you. He tells you to “piss off” and that “you’re only being a nuisance right now”, despite you only wanting to help him.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Not being able to control things makes Law feel really weak. Weak may not be the right word, but it definitely makes him feel unprepared. He doesn’t like when things are out of his control and he can’t account for things. Which is usually why he always does extensive research and preparation before constructing a well thought out plan.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

Well, I mean other than his obvious hatred of bread, Law also really hates when he works extremely hard on formulating a plan only for it to be completely thrown out of the window by a reckless straw hat wearing captain and his entire crew. (and somehow everything still ends up working out!!! That is the part that frustrates Law the most HAHAH).

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

One of the only things he’s ever really wanted was for Doflamingo to be taken down. He’s been partially successful in that sense, seeing as Doflamingo is in prison now. However, he wants more than that. He wants Doflamingo to suffer the same way he has.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

It may seem a little out of character but… I believe Law would be borderline desperate/inconsolable. There would be a lot of clinging on to you, begging you not to leave him like everyone else he’s ever loved. He can’t handle another person leaving him, it’s too much. It’s far too much.

He wouldn’t cry (just yet), but his voice would tremble, and his hands would be shaking. His mind would be racing with all sorts of theories and possible ways he could save you. How could he possibly prevent the inevitable?

[practicalmagicintuitions]

HC reading

DISCLAIMER: If you will send me an Anon, I will answer the same tone as your ask, opinion is written.

All information and statements made in this reading or any other post of mine are all alleged until proven to be fact and for entertainment purposes & usage only. All information stated is based on my intuition and my tarot cards. Opinion only. The readings have no intention to cause any harm to the individuals, people featured in it.

Cards pulled on 19th September

I barely thought about the question The Moon and the 2 of Pentacles felt out. I was thinking a little because I haven’t thought about that question deeply yet, but I decided to keep that 2 cards as a summary of the reading and go back to it if I don’t understand something and the very end of the reading.

My question was how his next few weeks will look like.

Queen of Cups rx, Death rx,( clarified by the King of Cups and the Devil rx - both fell out so I kept both) 5 of Swords, 3 of Swords rx, 10 of Swords rx, Knight of cups rx

What I see is a lot of balancing, wanting something but resisting the change at the same time. Inner and outer battles.

Death rx could be many things one of it is resisting to change, something couldn’t come to its end. For example, a relationship is over but they cannot move on, stuck in. And I think they cannot really move on because they have some codependency between them (QofCrx). If this card represents a person, they are someone who cannot control their emotions, mood swings, hypersensitive to criticism etc. This also could mean heartbreak. I think the truth is the blend of this. There is this emotional insecurity and neediness that is not let something reach its end. Denying your own feeling to make someone else happy. New energies, new impulses don’t reach him and he is operating on those old ones that should be let go. He is somewhat lying to himself that he can juggle between new and old, that he can grow but can remain the same. On a physical level that could mean depression, sleep deprivation.

However, these two-card is facing each other like in a battle when the oppositions are ready to attack. So I think before he can move on or he can battle for some change he has to face the forces that don’t let him choose or move on (QofCrx. It could be another person or one part of himself) The next card is the 5 of Swords. 5 of S is a change, a battle, a battle coming to an end card and top of that his card suggests very strongly a bulling person or situation. Ungraceful win or mental suffering. With this card is very important that who you identified yourself with on the picture. The bigger figure, who won, who has a smug smile, who probably a bully and won unfairly, or the 2 little figures, who are defeated, humiliated, bullied. 

5ofS is losing the moral compass and integrity and I feel this could be a realization of his that he reached that point. He lost those things, his moral values and wants to break free (Devil rx) but he is stuck. Maybe he has to balance between his own mood swing or someone else’s. 

With those conflicting emotions, thoughts, I feel he is in an early phase of transition. This King (King of Cups) is emotionally responsible and with the Devil rx maybe he wants to break free from some emotional attachments. The King of C is the pleaser, the father figure, the dominant one so maybe somehow his father is playing some role in it.

Death rx is a very interesting card because if we think the upright is about rebirth the reverse should be about being stuck, not remain the same but Mary K Greer is saying this card could mean “emerging from the death” coming out from a stagnant period. (keep this meaning in your mind it will be important at the end!)  And I think the Devil rx is supporting this meaning but those cards as a whole suggest for me such an inner conflict, battling with yourself, what to do, what to decide. As the song says “ Should I stay or should I go”? 

5 of Sw, 3 of Sw rx, 10 of Sw rx, Knight of C rx

In this whole spread, there are cups and swords. Heart vs mind, emotions vs logic and a clear head

Both 3 and 10 of Sw rx means healing, escaping from something fatal (NOT necessarily in a death-life situation!! more like on an emotional, metaphysical level as Death card doesn’t mean physical death ), the swords are falling out. But that doesn’t mean the experiences or the process is not painful. Oh boy… it is, it is painful. but instead of the light end of the tunnel is a train it’s like…. we can still have hope it’s not a train. 

What a little worries me is the Knight of Cups rx because this is again, juggling, mood swings between seeing the positive aspect of this or feeling sulky and moody. With this RX  knight the problem is that he is overly romantic, daydreaming or the opposite, he feels everyone is leaving him and reject him. He is in emotional turmoil. And I feel even he won his inner battles and start to heal he will check back to the past. Not necessarily reconnect with an old flame but starting to live in the past and asking “what if…?” and starting to replay the past decisions, emotions and those are not healthy.  I think all of those will leave him emotionally insecure and confused. 

The relationship now (at the time of the reading)

2 cards felt out face down and when I flipped the first it was the Lovers. And I was WOW that is something new, how exciting, second was the World rx. I pulled 2 clarifications on the Lovers: the Empress rx and the Strength. First, let’s see these 4 cards. 

When I was thinking about the Lovers card’s sudden appearance after 6 months in the first time I felt (because of the other cards) that some seducing going on like they were doing it when I pulled the cards or some other games were going on like she was trying to convince him about something and she was seducing him to get what she wants.

The World rx is unfinished business, no closure, something is not finished yet, unfulfillment. 

I think she (because Emprx is always her in my readings) feels that this relationship is not dead yet or she is not ready to give up. Look at the Strength card. There is a woman, taming a lion, a beast with her, kindness, will, determination etc. This card is also the first card in the second set of sevens we can separate the Major arcana (1-7, 8-14, 15-21), so it could mean a new chapter too. I feel this is what she wants very badly. However, in this situation, the question is who has the real strength? Maybe she is on her way to use convincing tactics but in real life, she wants something HC has or something that she cannot get if he doesn’t want to give. And I think this is the relationship itself or some aspect of it.  

The World rx  is still not a bad card could mean success but that success is not what you wanted or how you imagines it. There is a serious anticlimax here. And it’s a very short-lived success, if at all. So no matter what female tactics she uses for keeping alive the relationship if HC doesn’t want to give the relationship another round, she can do anything, she won’t succeed.

On a very direct level, it could mean that the whole world is watching them and she feels the pressure of it “the world’s burden on her shoulders” Maybe there is a lost connection and she wants to make up this with sex or being physical. 

With the Emp rx and the Strength, I see a serious manipulation going on. 

The rest of this spread is The High Priestess, 2 of Swords rx, Ace of wands rx. If you want to imagine the “spread” it’s 5 cards, HP in the middle, on the left the Lovers ( without signifiers) and the World rx, on the right the 2ofSrx, AceofWrx .

Why is this important? I am studying the HP atm because for me this is the most fascinating card, I always have a hard time interpreting. Many people saying this is a secretive woman, someone with secrets etc...I think this is such a simplifying way to handle this card. HP is not secretive in a gossipy, mean girl way or someone who is cheating etc. She doesn’t share her knowledge because we are not ready, not because she is enjoying that she knows something we don’t. She is a gatekeeper. On the card, she is sitting before a veil (veil between the worlds), she has some sacred text in her lap. In the RWS deck, this is the Tora, in my personal deck, this is the Book of Shadows. She is aware of those deep truths, ancient knowledge. This is not some simple secret or gossip.The High Priestess wisdom in the light in the Hermit’s lamp that separates him from the complete darkness and shows him the path he has to choose.  On the veil, there are pomegranates that link her to Persephone whose faith was living between two worlds. She keeps those worlds apart.  (this was my short essay on The High Priestess for you,welcome :D )

So what is the significance of all of this? That I think in the spread THP separates the thing NV wants to achieve and the truth or the thing she wants to avoid. On the left there is the manipulation, the seducing, trying to tame the beast, trying to make it sexual again on the right distance in a relationship, cold heart, love cannot come through because of the crossed swords, no sexual desire (Ace of Wrx). A of Wrx is infertility, impotency or not wanting the other sexually anymore. This card upright is a phallic symbol that’s why it is connected to sexuality, fertility, pregnancy, in reverse not just the lack of this but a thumb down too. It’s like giving a thumb down to the relationship and this is not just an “ I don’t like something”.In ancient times that means a death sentence to gladiators. It’s like the death sentence of this relationship. And I feel very symbolic that the first card was the Lovers and the last is this in this spread. A polar opposite in meaning that is separated by THP. The HP is not passive, he is the epitome of eternal stillness, the boundaries between two extremes. I feel this relationship like the whole reading is about duality ( 2ofPent, 2ofSw, THP, Judgment) as the first row of this reading, swords vs cups, mind vs emotions. These two things are battling in him.

The outcome of this relationship

Judgment, 3 of cups rx.

Numerologically the Judgment (XX 20=2+0=2)

On the Judgment card, an angel blows her trumpet and people rise up from their coffins. Do you remember what I said about the Death rx?  That one meaning of this is “emerging from the death”. Clarity, decision made, realization, powerful understanding. Also means huge transformation. In a relationship could be a Karmic connection. With the 3ofC rx is the realisation that the relationship is no fun anymore. More work than joy. I don’t mean “it’s a pr “, I mean their time together is less fun more work in the relationship. Or no matter how much they try the fun is just lost.( for example they can have sex, the real desire is gone) Also, this is the drinking card so maybe the realisation they over partied and drank way too much in this relationship and they don’t like each other that much if they are sober. Also could mean infidelity or a third weel in not necessarily a cheating sense, for example, one of them has a friend/parent etc and that person is so involved and present in the relationship that the other feels it’s a third party in this. This card also means no reconnection, mistrust.

I think the theme of this relationship and his next few weeks is balancing and trying to conquer himself. Battling between mind and heart, logic reason and emotions. 

This reading has a 2nd part, I pulled some cards on 30th.

For now, I will only reveal from that reading one thing. I asked about timing and breakup. I got the 5 of Swords. So this card means October 3 times. How is this possible? 

1.Methond - days, weeks, months, years

Swords are weeks, so this card means 5 weeks from 19th September

2.Method Seasons

Swords means Autumn. October is Autumn.

3.Method Astrological corresponds

Swords : Air signs. Gemini, Libra, Aquarius. 

Libra is September 23 – October 22. 

However, I felt I need a 2nd card, a clarification. It was the Hanged Man. This means, delays, no time period available. I interpret this as the break up will happen in October but we won’t know about it for a while. And yes, I am prepared that she or someone maybe reading this and they will organize something in October, but this doesn’t change the fact that I am getting October SINCE April. That’s why I said in a previous ask that, this is a joke from Universe if they won’t break up in October. 

I hope you enjoyed this reading.

Be blessed. :) 

[silentprincess17]

A Proposal Gone Awry

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | AO3

Summary: Link has been touring the breadth and width of Hyrule to clear out the remaining monster camps, and soon enough, he reaches Zora’s Domain. Mipha asks him to wait before he heads back to the castle, which he was intending on doing... but some mischievous children may have other plans.

Part 4 (Final)

Mipha floated in the pool, the water cascading in gentle waves over her prone form.

It was the fifth time she had left her own private pools after a prolonged period of recovery. She waded her way through a sea of guilt, shame, mortification, longing, pining and despair. Heartbreak was a painful thing, and it was a shame her Grace couldn’t heal it. Still, her time in almost near seclusion had helped her to come to several key realisations, which she could freely admit after the initial torment and hurricane of emotions drifted into colder water.

Number 1: She realised how much she had fooled herself.

Really, she had never even talked to Link about her feelings, planning to use the armour as her segue on the topic. An armour given at an engagement! What had she been thinking? How had she deluded herself into it?

Number 2: The answer was that she was simply too scared. Too terrified to ever voice her affection for him. And it had all backfired so spectacularly. There were so many signs that she had, simply put, ignored. All the way from Link saving Zelda during their journey, to finding out who they really were: soulmates bound through all of time and fated to be together. Her cheeks coloured, from thinking of all of the ridiculous explanations she had made up in order to continue living in a fantasy she had constructed in her mind.

Number 3: All of this could have been avoided, if she had talked to him properly.

Still, it was too late to regret it now, but with hindsight, she should have done everything differently from the start. She could have saved herself so much pain. The only saving grace she had was that Link thankfully had no idea what was going on. She didn’t even want to consider what would have happened had he realised.

The flow of the water changed, and Mipha instinctively looked up, as Bazz walked in, holding a bloom of Blue Nightshades in his hands. Every day since she had returned from the castle, he came carrying a small bundle of flowers as an apology. He had noticed how reclusive she had become, and the blanket of sadness that covered her like waves covered the ocean. She had reassured him multiple times she wasn’t sad because of his little stunt, and he didn’t need to bring flowers, but the poor boy had taken it to heart.

He had even brought the whole gang over on the first day that she had left her rooms, each of them bearing a gift. Bazz himself had brought her purple hyacinths, which apparently “symbo-bolises forgive-ness”. Gaddison had polished her treasured Lightscale Trident, something which Mipha hadn’t held for over two months. It had felt so good to wield it in her hands again. Rivan had given her a hearty blue snail, whilst Sidon had given her a huge hug, and a pendant that had Vah Ruta engraved into it. She knew her father must have helped him, but she still appreciated the effort he had put in. Once she had hugged him, he had softly whispered in her ear that she was his Hero, and he wanted her to smile again, like this, and he had given her the best gift of all- his trademark smile and pose.

It had made her feel comforted and helped her realise that she had a family here. She had responsibilities. She couldn’t just hide away from the world because she didn’t have the courage to talk to the man she loved, and now he had been taken away.

She was Mipha, Princess of the Zora, a daughter, a sister, a warrior. Yes, Link had played a large part in her motivations. She had always wanted to protect him, ultimately. First by healing his wounds, then by fighting the lynel with him, to finally creating an armour containing a piece of herself. But what she had failed to realise then, and she understood now, was that it wasn’t just all for Link. It was for her Domain, for her people who she would eventually rule over.

After that fourth realisation, it became easier to ease herself out of her rooms. To slowly begin to partake in the council meetings. To swim in her home’s beautiful waterfalls. To allow herself to heal.

She smiled as Bazz shuffled closer, his sword still scrapping the floor with every other step. He held out the peonies he had gathered today, and this time pressed a letter into her hand. She raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t say anything, just shrugged. She flipped it open, and it was about an event at the Flight Range. She read, and reread the short brief,

To all the children in Hyrule,

I, the Great Revali, Champion of the Rito, will be offering free lessons in the all-important field of archery.

Should you want to participate, convince your parents/guardians to bring you this Saturday to the Flight Range.

Teenagers are welcome on the following day and for those who do not possess this basic knowledge, I mean Sunday.

Remember that if you do come, I will expect nothing less of excellence, or at least, the maximal effort to be demonstrated until you achieve said excellence.

Master Revali, Champion of the Rito

Well, she never would have guessed Revali liked children. Or indeed teaching. He… well, she wouldn’t say he was the most patient of the Champions. Still, it was good of him to do… probably. She wasn’t sure he would have many students left after the first session.

But why had Bazz given this to her….? She got her answer when she looked up to Bazz’s huge, silently pleading eyes. She sighed. The children had done a lot for her these past few months. It was the least she could do to supervise them on a short trip. It was highly likely Revali would scare them all away, if she was being honest, which would be the main reason she wouldn’t want to bring them. Still, if they wanted to go, then she would accompany them. It was only right she gave back a little of what they’ve given her.

She smiled as she heard Bazz screaming to the other three and lifted herself out of the pool. She was out of practise with her spear, and she was certain Revali would notice. Not that she cared for his crass comments, especially considering what she had gone through these past two months… but she was still competitive and just in case he asked her to practise like they once used to, she needed to make sure she wouldn’t fail within the first minute.

The children squabbled together on the swim to the Rito Village. They were excited for their first time out exploring Hyrule, and she had to remain vigilant if any one of them decided to pop up for air and sit on the bank to appreciate the views. Whilst she did understand how shockingly green the world must appear to them when compared to the Domain, there were still monsters around, and these children were all her responsibility.

Soon enough they arrived, threaded in amongst the throng of people present in the Flight Range. Revali was at the entrance, by a giant board of names. He held the chalk in his hands as he wrote down the name of each child at a specific time slot, before directing them towards the bonfire that was burning in order to stay warm. From what she could make out, around half of the slots were filled, with lessons starting at 1 pm. As this was the sign up session, no one had been assigned into classes yet. She assumed it would be dependent on the numbers that turned up today…

She made sure the children were organised in file row by age, with the eldest first, (Gaddison, Bazz, Rivan and Sidon) before she approached Revali.

He merely nodded at her, wrote down the four names and directed her in much the same way as everyone else. Well, she wasn’t expecting favouritism, but surely in light of their history he could- wait- actually… What did she want him to do? She had only had a few training sessions with Revali, and aside from the battles they had fought together, she had rarely interacted with him. He didn’t tend to stay for the informal sessions they had as Champions, and, as he rubbed a lot of their group the wrong way, she had never paid much attention as to why that was.

She only smiled, asked if he needed any help, “No thank you, Mipha. Just head to the bonfire.” And Mipha understood his curt dismissal. He looked stressed, and she wouldn’t want to exacerbate that.

After a couple of hours, it was the Zora children’s turn. All of them headed off towards the Flight Range, were given basic instructions in how a bow works by Revali, and a brief guide into using a paraglider as an emergency safety check. The main benefit of practising at the Flight Range was that even if they slipped, or lost control, the wind was so strong it would buffet them in the air until Revali himself would pick them up. Anyway, no one would be flying out unless they fell; the first lessons would take place on the deck whilst aiming at the target just across.

Mipha was not afraid of anything going wrong. She trusted Revali. Despite their differences, Revali would never let any of one of them down.

Gaddison did the best, she adapted well to the new weapon, a swallow bow, managing to hit the inner turquoise ring after five arrow shots, whilst Bazz came in second hitting it after eight. Rivan managed in twelve, and Sidon could only hit the outside ring. He was perhaps too small for this sort of venture. Mipha understood his need to participate though; she knew he really wanted to be accepted into Bazz’s brigade, and she wouldn’t stop him from trying to fit in.

Whilst the children were firing at the target, she came to stand by Revali. He was intently focussed, but she thought she could perhaps try to get him to relax a little.

“This is a really good thing you’re doing Revali… training the next generation of potential archers.”

He fixed his emerald eyes on her, funny, how she had never noticed the startling colour before, “Well thank you, Mipha. Not all of us are handed our legacies. I have to make my own.”

She paused… hesitated a little as she thought over what he meant. It was true: she had never realised but all of the other Champions were in positions of power. She was a Princess, Urbosa was Chief of the Gerudo, Daruk was Chief of the Gorons. Zelda was Princess of Hyrule, and Link was Captain of her Royal Guard team. Except for Revali. His only title was Champion… “Perhaps that is a good thing. Self-made legacies are the ones that people remember the most.” He didn’t reply, so she asked another question. “How did you come up with the idea of making the Flight Range a training centre?”

He wrapped both arms around his chest, which she read as a little defensive, “Teba. His son, Tulin, trains here. Well. I guess I should say, ‘will’ train here.” He shook his head, “Anyway, I also don’t want to be remembered solely by the Rito for having trained Rito warriors. I want this to be an endeavour that spans across Hyrule. Archery is just as, if not more, important than simple swordplay.”

Ah. There it was. She wisely chose not to say anything else on the matter, “It’s an admirable aim, Revali. And from the volume of people here… I’d say you are in a good position.”

He merely shrugged. “It’s only the first session, Mipha. It would be foolish to assume the same pattern for the future.” He hesitated, looked at her ornamental silver again, before his gaze flickered away onto the children. He cleared his throat, risked another glance at her, before speedily asking, “Why did you change your armour?”

She was about to respond to his initial statement actually, to reassure him that it would work, and that he was a Champion which would undoubtedly make people want their children to be taught by him, but he had caught her completely off-guard. “What do you mean?”

He jabbed a feather at her clasp. “That never used to be there.”

Oh Goddesses. How would she explain such a thing? How had he even noticed such a small difference? “Well, one of the scales needed to go. It happens sometimes.” There. That wasn’t a lie. Technically, the scale had to go, and it didn’t happen often obviously, but she wouldn’t have to explain the ins and outs.

He paused, just for a second, before continuing on, “Is it susceptible to attack?”

“Well, yes-”

He jutted in, “Would you like to train then? It’s important to maintain your defence. Especially with such a pronounced wound that anyone could take advantage of.”

She did not mention the wound was, in fact, sealed completely by the clasp. But she appreciated his offer. It had been so long since she had properly trained with a Champion. And… now actually, she could remember him doing the same thing at the ball. Had he spotted it from then? Had he wanted to ask if she was okay from then? Had he wanted to train… to help her better defend herself from then? She wasn’t sure why she found that surprising, but it felt good to know he cared. “Okay.”

“Monday evening… at the Domain, for your convenience?”

She nodded, and with that, it was the end of the children’s turn. She established what time, exactly, on Monday evening, and invited Revali to come over for dinner. He hadn’t had a chance to visit the Domain properly in all the chaos of the Calamity, but there was no such rush now.

Mipha had a giant pile of things to do, and she tried her best to do it all quickly. First, she dropped the children back to their home familial pools, reassuring their parents that everyone had been well behaved. Then she informed her father that she had invited Revali to dinner so preparations could be made in time. Finally, she visited her Divine Beast, Vah Ruta... She paused at the entrance, smoothing her hand across the door. Ruta was pleased to see her Champion back, and Mipha found herself falling back into her routine of caring: she gave Ruta good clean, and even ended up having a late-night bonding training session to attempt to prepare herself for Monday.

In all her haste to do it all, by the time she finally reached her pools, she was so tired she immediately blacked out.

It was only in the morning that she realised, for the first time that night, in the span of two months, she didn’t think of Link. Of her failed proposal. Of her shame and embarrassment at reading the whole situation so wrongly.

And she finally braved the courage to pull out the package that she hadn’t touched since that evening. She decided it was time to post it to Link. She wrote a short note about completing his armour set, and she didn’t mention anything else. By letting go of it, and subsequently of the feelings that were associated with it, Mipha finally felt lighter than she had for a long time.

She grabbed her Lightscale Trident, keen on getting some practise before Revali came. Who knows, maybe he could teach her some archery too. Whatever it was, she was keen to finally put her trident to some good use again. For the first time in two months, she had something to look forward to… a goal she could achieve.

Perhaps her proposal had gone awry… but it had given her a much needed wake up call.

She was more than a girl who loved a boy.

She was Mipha, Princess of the Zora, Champion of the Zora and of Vah Ruta, a warrior and healer that contributed to the destruction of the Calamity. She was Sidon’s hero, and it was time she lived up to it.

Mipha stepped forward, her Grace poised in her movements, bold, determined, and ready.

[mc-lukanette]

Marinette couldn’t stand herself sometimes, particularly with her own logic. She should’ve known that there was no realm of possibility where she would’ve agreed to a date with Luka and then walked away from it like it was nothing, yet she’d done worse and gone on multiple dates with him, one of which she was on at that very moment.

She rubbed her face as she walked along the sidewalk, mentally scolding herself all the while. Luka deserved better than this - better than her - yet she kept indulging him because of how much she selfishly loved him.

She was partway to groaning into her hands when she remembered that Luka was walking next to her. She lowered her fingers just enough to peek at him, seeing that he was staring at her with a concerned gaze.

Ashamed at having been caught, she looked away from him. "S-sorry. I was… thinking. You didn’t do anything."

She knew he was smiling reassuringly from his tone as he replied, "It’s okay."

Except it wasn’t okay, and there was no real way out of it besides—

Marinette fidgeted, growing uncomfortable. They were just talking a simple walk along the Seine, and yet she’d made it awkward by being unable to keep her emotions inside. She wasn’t going to get anywhere that way.

Steeling herself up, she stopped walking and turned to him, a firm, "Luka," coming out of her mouth before she cut herself off. He’d stopped alongside her to listen, but she sighed and opted to step away instead, taking a seat at the edge of the Seine. It reminded her of the time she’d had ice cream next to him while he played her a song.

Not that he’d remember it anyway, but she believed it was for the best.

"...Ugh," she groaned, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead, "you probably wouldn't believe me."

He walked over, sitting beside her and humming in thought. "You don't know how a note will sound until you hear it."

She shook her head, but knew without looking that he honestly wanted to hear what she had to say, provided that she wanted to tell him. He’d always been like that, which made it easy to love him but hard to hide anything.

Looking around, making sure no one was nearby, she finally let herself give in. She slumped and stared down at her lap, clasping her hands together anxiously as she explained, "I...I have a miraculous; the miraculous of the rabbit." She glanced over at him without turning her head, gauging his reaction. When he didn’t show anything significant, she continued, "It’s not really used for battle, but rather for time travel."

"Time travel?" he echoed, his voice entirely neutral, merely absorbing and not disbelieving.

"Yeah." She fidgeted, then turned towards him, unclasping her hands to settle one of them between him and herself. "Luka, before Adrien introduced us... you don't remember meeting me, do you?"

His eyes went wide. "I met you before? Marinette, I'm sorry—"

"No," she interrupted. "It makes sense that you wouldn't."

He blinked, confused.

"That was another time; another timeline. We actually met a long time ago, back when we were teenagers. We were friends, and—you really, really liked me." She smiled at the memory, but it quickly turned back into a frown. "I was into Adrien though. I was stupid, and it took me years to figure it out. You were the one who told me that I was clear as a music note, sincere as a melody, and it made me feel so warm inside to hear it, but then I just... didn't do anything and didn't realize how I was feeling. I felt terrible once I finally got it, because I really liked you but I didn't deserve you. You'd been hurting all that time because we were so close and I still went after Adrien anyway."

Unable to look at his shocked expression anymore, she turned away from him, continuing, "That's why I knew I'd probably hurt you again. If I did it once, I'd probably do it again, so… I went back in time to tell myself not to meet you - to stay away - because I was sure your life would be better off without me. If Adrien hadn't made us meet up, I'd probably still be avoiding you."

The idea hurt, just as did the idea of not seeing him again after the night was over. Still, she forced the rest of the words out. "Just—you deserve to know all that, Luka. Please understand, it might be for the best that we not meet up again."

The silence was chilling, combining with the night air to make her shiver. She shifted, waiting to hear something - anything - like Luka speaking or getting up, but there was nothing. She began to turn towards him, hesitated, then turned fully against her better judgment.

Luka was staring at her quietly, looking both dazed and thoughtful at the same time. She tried to discern exactly what he was thinking about, but couldn’t get a read on him due to all of her nerves.

It was over, she figured.

She pulled out her phone and faked skimmed through it "...O-oh, um, wow!" she shouted forcibly. "Look at that! I’m late for my ten o'clock howling-at-the-moon session!" She stood up, lightly smacking the side of her head with her free hand. "See? I’m crazy! I better—"

He grabbed her hand before she could move away. She winced, her fingers twitching on the hand he was holding. Chewing her bottom lip, she felt his gentle tug wordlessly urging her to sit back down. After a few seconds of internal debate, she relented, returning to her original spot and putting her phone back in her purse.

When she eyed his expression again, he had his mouth covered by his hand and was staring up at the sky. His thoughts still weren’t obvious, but she wondered if maybe he was thinking back on old memories.

In hindsight, she hadn’t been subtle, as it was too easy to get lost in just enjoying her time with him without thinking about it. She’d known all of his favorite drinks and sweets without him telling her, she knew the layout of the Liberty like she’d been in there many times despite never stepping foot in there before - at least to his knowledge- and she hadn’t kept up the act of being "professional" around him for very long. Everyone knew that she wore her heart on her sleeve, so to hide it, and around the guy she loved?

Not possible.

Finally, Luka turned to her, making her go stiff. He was gentle when he spoke, however, with no animosity in his voice.

"Marinette, I have a lot in my head right now, and a whole song sheet's worth of things I want to say," he began, "but first..."

He reached out, lightly touching her chin. His eyes firmly locked with hers, he asked gingerly, "Can I kiss you?"

She gaped at him, going wide-eyed as she repeated his question in her head. Surely, he didn’t just—? She told him everything and he still…?

He continued looking at her patiently, even as every attempt to respond verbally just had her utter a small noise or two. She couldn’t comprehend his logic, but something in her took control enough for her to nod, giving him permission to lean in and press his lips against hers. She went rigid at first, too many doubts creeping up at once - she didn’t deserve this, why was he doing this, it didn’t make sense - but the feeling of his calloused hand against the back of her neck turned those doubts into a moan.

He took the moan as exactly what it is; an open invitation to continue. He leaned further in, Marinette having to adjust and keep one hand on the ground to balance herself. Eyes closed, her hand blindly reached out, touching his chest by accident before moving to his arm. He got what she was doing, his free hand rising to meet hers. Their fingertips brushed before they properly held hands, squeezing just slightly for effect.

Marinette was halfway into melting completely into the kiss when she realized exactly what was happening. She pulled her hand away from his, grabbing the fabric of his shirt and forcing him a small distance away. Her breathing was already heavy from the thrill of their contact, but she tried to remain calm so she could still speak up.

"I-I don’t…" She looked at him, managing a simple, "Why?"

He smiled warmly, placing a hand over the one gripping his shirt. "My life was fine, Marinette. I was happy enough with it, but... starting at the music festival, things were off. I couldn't remember you, but I felt like I was missing something. The picture Juleka had on her cupboard made me smile like an idiot and I kept thinking I was just that happy about her photo curse breaking. I'd hear your name and I didn't know who you were but it had such a nice ring to it: Ma, ma, Marinette~" He chuckled. "I'd gotten so used to the feeling of something missing from my life that it surprised me when you came in and I felt that feeling going away. I'm usually not that upfront about telling people that I want to know them more, but the idea of letting you go without saying anything hurt me."

She gaped at him for a good few seconds, then shook her head. "But... I hurt you? In the other timeline?"

"You mean by not being sure who you were in love with when you were just a teenager?" he asked. "And what did you do about it? Instead of getting together with me right then, you went back and changed time just so I'd never feel any heartbreak in the first place. You risked the timestream... for me."

"L-luka, it's not—" She blushed, starting to see what he meant.

"You don't understand, Marinette. No one's ever done anything for me like that. Of course no one would have the powers that you do, but people don't just think so much of me like that."

"B-but you deserve to be thought of?" she argued, genuinely confused that he would imply otherwise. "And—how are you not mad?"

"Mad? At you? Never." He reached back up to her face, caressing her cheek, which she couldn’t help leaning into. "I wish I'd met you sooner. I wish I could remember all those years I spent with you, even if I was hurting, but if the outro is me being here with you and getting to know just how much you really feel about me, then I wouldn't change a thing."

She swallowed, thoroughly overwhelmed and not sure how to deal with it. She’d had a dozen scenarios in her head about how he might react to the truth, but even her best case scenario didn’t involve him fully accepting it.

She stared down at the Seine, not speaking for about a minute before finally saying, "I’m sorry."

He went to interject, but she covered his mouth with her hand, giving him a meaningful look. His gaze softened and he removed his hand from her face, seeming to understand that she needed to say what was on her mind.

She took a breath. "I… I know you don't have regrets, but I shouldn't have made decisions without you. I shouldn't have spent so much time fretting and worrying about everything when it should've been so simple. I reset time and, instead of insisting that you were the right choice all along, I went for the punishment of telling myself to never meet you and it left both of us feeling different kinds of empty." Her heart ached at the memory. "So… I promise I won't do anything rash like that again. It’s just—I wish I could make up for it somehow."

He nodded in understanding, taking both of her hands in his. "I don’t think you have to make up for anything." He chuckled as she pouted, then he continued, "but, if it'll bother you that much if you don't..."

She straightened, nodding her head eagerly at him. She’d do anything for him and she didn’t care what it was, so long as it would help make up for what she did.

"I can think of one thing," he confirmed. One of his hands released hers to move up to her face, his thumb brushing across her lips. His eyes glinted playfully as he added, "Two if you don't mind showing me what you were about to do with your tongue earlier."

She needed no further prompting.

[nikkithebard]

Your Angel Ellipsis

Geraskier short fic, post S1E6, post mountain-break up, hurt/little comfort, fix-it-fic, angst, angsty thoughts, featuring HSK, open ending, 2.6k words

Rating: T (Mature language)

A/N: I am totally 100% open to fic ideas if anyone wants to share some. Feel free to send an ask with a prompt, I don’t mind in the slightest. (I have never uploaded my work here before)

The bard moved with about as much grace as a broken-legged turtle, holding his lute case close to his chest. It was the only thing around him that felt even remotely real. Everything else had faded into whispers across his skin. The wind, the dirt, the others who remained on the mountain still. The soles of his boots had been worn thin, slipping over the rocky dust of the ground. Jaskier ignored it. He was far too disinterested in anything that wasn’t the very person he was distancing himself from.

Jaskier cared for Geralt of fucking Rivia.

And all he had gotten was shouts, demeaning language, and a wish fit for a djinn.

Oh, how far he’d thrown himself into this wolf’s den. He feared he’d die of heartbreak--again--if he didn’t die from the hunger and dehydration that came with getting lost climbing down a fucking mountain. How far had he gone? Felt like he had been descending in circles rather than going straight down.

Jaskier heard his own words in his mind, reverberating.

You did your best. There’s nothing else you could have done.

Who would have known the words were better suited to him and not the witcher? But, it was true. There was nothing else the bard could have done to change the outcome of this dragon hunt. He tried to talk Geralt out of this, tried to convince him this was too dangerous a task. As per usual, Geralt cared little for Jaskier’s opinion and carried on. Was that his fault, too?

His foot slipped on a larger boulder and he fell. Catching himself before he could do any serious damage, Jaskier decided to take a seat, the sun beating down on his back. Rivulets of sweat pooled around the collar of his chemise. Opening the case, Jaskier made sure his lute was alright. Of course it was, but a peek wouldn’t hurt.

The lute, as it always did, sang back at him through its dark wood, enchanted to no end. Pointless to think it would ever break, really. He withdrew the instrument, strumming the melody he had been crafting for weeks now. It had started out as a metaphor for some sort of unrequited love. As of late, it had been slowly turning it into something much sourer. With naught but the help of a sorceress he watched portal herself away nearly an hour or two ago. Jaskier was still dumbfounded that Geralt was so entrenched in the most awful example of the fairer sex.

“The fairer sex,” Jaskier mumbled to himself, strumming to the opening melody of his latest tune. “How, when she’s as unfair as a thief? A bandit?” He tilted his head, pondering. “A crook?”

Very rarely did lyrics fall into his lap so perfectly, yet the poet learned early on in his life to not look a gift horse in the mouth. Taking out his pen and notebook, he scratched off the first line of his original ballad, writing in the better one.

Jaskier sighed, unable to keep his mouth shut even if there was no one around to listen, “Bollocks, there I go again, rewriting yet another love ballad. Not that it matters, when you spend over twenty years stooped in what others would refer to as a pile of shit, perhaps every tune comes off as identical, yeah? All the words collide and all the notes fall into unbridled repetition--” He stopped, his own voice crashing into his ears, “Twenty years? Is that right?” He scoffed, fingers absentmindedly moving over the strings of his lute, “Can’t be, I don’t even--I can’t be over forty, can I?” He tried to shake the thought from his mind, yet he simply couldn’t get away from the passage of time. The time he had spent trailing a witcher that threw him away like a tankard of spoiled ale. “What...am I doing?”

Over twenty years, Jaskier had spent chasing a man for nothing. For nothing, because there was nothing else he could have done. The years dripped into his mind, at first a simple leak. In seconds, a stream. In minutes, a broken dam of thoughts and images dancing across the landscape of his brain.

At first, he had only longed for a muse after a particular dry spell of wordless thoughts that had plagued him after he arrived in Posada all those years ago. Jaskier had been coming down from a small bout of fame he founded for himself and the money had run out too quickly. And it was then that he had caught sight of the White Wolf. Only, then, he had nary a clue of who the man was. Jaskier saw armor, swords, a very interesting shade of hair. He was intrigued. As the day passed and Jaskier crafted the song that shot both of their names into the stratosphere, he realized he cared little for the money, the recognition, the women. Yes, it was damn welcome, but he found himself missing something.

It didn’t take him very long to admit the thrill of the adventure--wanderlust, to be specific--was the answer to a question he asked himself too many times. And so, when he and Geralt found each other again, he made it a point to tag along. Geralt didn’t appear to care all that much and let Jaskier do as he pleased. Only when Jaskier droned on and on about any random crap that came to mind--which was purely to spur any sort of response from the silent witcher, he wanted to get to know him--did Geralt stir enough to shut him up.

As time went on, years apparently, Jaskier found himself caring less and less for the songs. He just wanted to follow the witcher. His friend, though Geralt refused to verbally reciprocate the fact. After a while, he only wished for his company, to hear the incredible feats and adventures that befell the witcher. It wasn’t until they started to become tight on money and ended up sharing rooms together that Jaskier realized his fascinations went beyond friendly. When they were alone, with a roof over their heads and safety in their minds, Geralt would always relax a bit. He would speak, joke, smile even.

Jaskier thought he was insane in the beginning. To think he could feel anything more than a curious nature. But, no, it became quite apparent.

Jaskier cared for Geralt of fucking Rivia.

And it had become his fatal flaw.

Geralt, it seemed, truly cared nothing for the troubadour that brought him fame and coin.

And it was painful. Of course it was. The two had fought a multitude of times in the past, but this was different somehow. To blame his own destiny on the bard that had only wanted to leave this damn mountain, to leave the witch to her inevitable demise, wanted the witcher to be safe.

Perhaps that was why he had very obviously confessed himself to the witcher. Using the excuse that he had to work out what pleased him when he had done so years before. All to stave off the knowledge that his confession had been viewed as material for his next song. That his love was nothing more than musings to be ignored.

Jaskier never thought he would be faced with his unrequited affection so harshly, though he figured it would come down on him eventually. He strummed the lute, an acute anger creeping up his spine.

The fairer sex, they often call it.

But, her love’s as unfair as a crook.

It steals all my reason,

Commit every treason

Of logic with naught but a look.

He had written a majority of it a night or two ago, when Sir Eyck had gone off to shit in the woods and Yennefer had gone off to “get her beauty sleep”. Scratching off lines and writing over them, as he had gotten so used to for a long time.

Never getting the chance to tell Geralt how he felt, what he wanted, what he needed. Came to a point where he no longer thought it was ever going to happen. Watching Borch, Téa, and Véa fall to their presumed deaths--and nearly watching Geralt follow suit--changed that. He knew there would never be such a delight as “the right time”, especially if this hunt had proven to be so deadly. Jaskier wanted to say his feelings outright, hoping a song would help him in that regard. Alas, nothing ever worked out that way.

Jaskier settled for asking Geralt to allow him the opportunity to prove himself as a worthy travel companion, stretching his tone across the word “companion” to give it a different meaning. Geralt did not catch on and if he did, made no move to show it. And he was shot down.

It made him upset, knowing he had lost the battle for the witcher’s affections long before the bard had even agreed to take part. Rigged and unjust, but he should have known better than to love someone he knew damn well now didn’t care.

A storm breaking on the horizon,

Of longing and heartache and lust

She’s always bad news,

It’s always lose, lose

So tell me love, tell me love,

How is that just?

But, Jaskier cared for the witcher before they had met the witch. And, still, he had lost. He had nothing else but their friendship, and even that was gone now. It wasn’t his fault. Not this time. All at once, everything had gone to shit, more so than it had before whenever Yennefer’s influence on Geralt made his vision turn red. Always lashing out at everyone, always angry, never ever good for him.

The lute was strummed harder, the instrument making the troubadour’s emotions known to anyone within range.

But the story is this,

She’ll destroy with her sweet kiss, her sweet kiss.

The bard repeated the line, filling the melody appropriately. There was nothing else he could do but let the song continue. He was a bard, all he knew was to let the music escape him, else he might explode. Jaskier heard rustling behind him and chose to ignore it, too caught up in his emotions to stop the tenor of his own voice. If he could just finish the damn song, he would feel better.

He wouldn’t be so angry that he had completely wasted over twenty years of his life. Destroyed his own path whilst following Geralt down his. Getting them free rooms, free meals, making him famous, helping him scrounge up coin for better armor, making him hair tie after hair tie from the leather of old strappings. Fixing baths, cleaning and stitching up wounds, sleeping in the same fucking bed together. And he still lost to a lusty bitch with a hankering for destruction.

Jaskier had lost to a woman that never spent more than a few hours with the witcher at a time. A woman that caused him pain, not healed him of it. A woman that would outlive him and still cause Geralt heartache without respite. Melitele damn her.

Her current is pulling you closer

And charging the hot, humid night.

The red sky at dawn is giving a warning, you fool!

Better stay out of sight.

The troubadour's tune faltered, voice breaking as memories of the past flooded through him again. Asking Geralt a favor in bodyguarding him while being told he was not the White Wolf’s friend, which stung despite the bard’s nonchalance. Learning that Geralt needed nothing out of life. Jaskier telling the witcher that someone--the use of a gender-neutral pronoun had been a flirt, but still remained true to his heart--may want him. “I’m weak, my love, and I am wanting.” Jaskier’s tone changed, filling with longing and desire. He knew he had a penance for lofty things. Good clothing, fine wine, upstanding company. But, he steadily gave it all up, choosing a life of grime and dirt and blood. The rustling behind him came closer.

If this is the path I must trudge,

I welcome my sentence,

Give to you my penance,

Garrotter, jury, and judge.

And his chorus repeated over and over, driving home his emotional distress at losing the one person in this godsforsaken world that was still willing to deal with his bullshit. Jaskier knew, now, that Geralt had never truly been willing and was only ever acting in line with his morals. Geralt only saved him from the djinn because it was the right thing to do. Geralt chose not to harm Jaskier out of pure annoyance because it was simply wrong and unjust.

Yet, Jaskier couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps Geralt sometimes acted outside of his moral compass. The banquet, the event that had really changed the course of the witcher’s life, had been the only inexplicable act Jaskier could not explain. The witcher had helped him free of his coin, in the most minute way. Nothing in their initial understanding of the event had even the slightest to do with what was the textbook definition of a witcher.

Was it due to the fact that, even if Geralt would never admit it, they truly were friends?

Jaskier had little time to continue his reverie, a soft hum from behind breaking through his thoughts.

“I will never understand why I am oft referred to as a ‘garrotter’.” Gravelly voice, low toned, and calm. Jaskier froze, music stopping. How much had he heard? And even more, he caught on to the metaphor immediately.

Jaskier cleared his throat, refusing to look, “It also means ‘killer’ or ‘hunter’.” He said plainly. “Not to mention your name matches the sound of the word a bit.”

“Hmm.” Geralt said, “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that.”

It was a wonder they were even speaking. Jaskier was always so quick to forgive the witcher, though. Yes, he was still hurt and angry. On the other hand, he would fight to keep their friendship and wouldn’t let their squabbles get the better of them. He would just have to bottle his pain, again. Well, maybe put the cork back on the bottle if he was being truthful. He’d let enough spill out of him over the last few days and the song didn’t help.

Geralt walked, moving in front of the bard, gear in hand, “The long way down is safer, but we have a lot of ground to cover.” Face emotionless, golden eyes stared down at the distraught bard.

The bard shook his head, not knowing how to proceed, “Geralt--”

“I’m sorry, Jaskier.” The witcher cut in before the troubadour could make a long-winded speech. His name always sounded intimate when it crossed over the witcher’s lips. Never casual, always private and personal.

Jaskier gave a pained smile, blue eyes still rimmed red with sadness, “Good, that’s all I wanted.” No, it wasn’t. He kept that bit to himself. He stood, placing the lute back into its case and placing the strap on his back.

Geralt gave him another straight look, but his eyes always displayed the man’s thoughts and emotions. He knew Jaskier was lying, especially if he had been paying attention enough to know the truth behind the bard’s lyrics, “Hmm.”

They continued down the mountain together, both silent for once. It wasn’t until they had reached the bottom that Jaskier finally fell into a mindless chatter. His thoughts were becoming too heavy and it wasn’t appropriate when he had company.

They didn’t talk about the song, not for a long time. And when they did, there was no turmoil or miscommunication on either end.

There was only an understanding.

[everything-laito]

Never expected the Laito vs Shin CD to be this deep on Laito’s side. Hi, I’m back at it again with another long rant.

Hiiii! It’s Corn here, with a long awaited analysis of the Laito vs Shin drama cd! 

I didn’t expect to like this pairing as much as I did, but honestly Shin’s abrasiveness brought more out of Laito than I expected. Maybe it’s also the combination of Laito struggling to keep himself restrained. 

If you wanna hear my shitpost 2 am reactions to this, here’s the link. I go back now and realize I forgot some stuff in my notes to put in there, but oh well haha. If you want me to release the ones I forgot let me know lololol, my 2 am ramblings are pretty funny in hindsight. Thank you to @/dialovers-translations for providing the translations to these CDs! If you want to check the CD out for yourself, here it is. And as always, if you want to add anything, feel free to! Huge analysis under the cut :)

So the CD starts off with Laito and Yui. They’re in public somewhere and Laito’s being… Laito. But he’s trying to be quiet which was off putting for me at first. Anyways, this takes place right after the Lost Eden ending. I will admit I haven’t played Lost Eden or has seen the translations yet (I like playing the games as I do) but I do know that in in some endings the Sakamakis (and Mukamis???? I think??? Not sure) inherit daddy ketchup’s power. (I think it’s all of them that do in their endings but correct me if I’m wrong). 

So we know that Laito doesn’t like violence from him saying it multiple times in past games, drama cds, etc. He also mentioned in Haunted Dark Bridal that he doesn’t like family politics and has no interest in having the throne/Karl’s power. So, safe to assume from the start he doesn’t like having this power. And oh boy he is NOT having it. 

In my notes of the first track I made a quip of that Laito’s been kind of a “wannabe romantic.” I know that’s not the best way to describe it, but he’s like “human girls like this right?” or “this is what you do in a relationship, right?” (And he either puts his own twist on it or it ends up being More Blood’s vampire ending). So in this he holds your hand, no tricks, no nothing. I know this is a result of Rejet’s writing change after HDB, but also I think it’s some development on Laito’s end too (either way, it’s cute as hell). I honestly took this as him trying to distract himself from the power he now has; one that he never wanted in the first place. And we know Laito: master of distracting himself from his own issues and other people. 

Laito: “Fufu…You’re shaking~ In that case, should we just dive down from here while I hold you in my arms? …We’ll reach the ground in no time, but it might be reaaaaaally scary.”

Laito: “I’m not going to jump down. After all, I’ve decided I won’t use these powers no matter what.”

Although it takes some deeper knowledge of Laito, he definitely is using the ol “making fun of things I’m insecure about = coping mechanism” plenty of people like to do. He’s teasing himself; making a little quip of it and then kinda turning serious, yet still remaining his “~playful Laito façade~” self. In my notes I say that I’m glad Rejet stuck by with Laito’s whole “I have no interest in these powers” kinda thing. I also think that it scares him, on top of the fact that he just doesn’t give a shit. Or him having the “I don’t give a shit” attitude is a cover up for that fear? We’re gonna go deeper into that, my fellow sinners. 

Before I get into that, I just wanted to point out yet another quote that follows the ones that I put. 

Laito: “Don’t look so puzzled. This is the human world, isn’t it? It would be odd. There’s no hidden meaning behind it. That’s all.”

I liked my note in response to this quote: “H A H don’t be so DAFT, Laito, you’re the KING of double meanings. I know this is a liiiieeeeee” and man, I gotta agree with my cryptid self. He’s using the fact that it’s the human world as an excuse for him to not use his powers. Which…. Is a valid excuse. But this is also Laito we’re talking about. And he just sucked your blood in public. And moaned. I can see right through you man. Laito without double meanings is just…. He can’t exist. There’s no way. Sure he’s developed but if he’s still sticking with his façade from time to time, it’s a safe assumption; deductively. 

As for Laito fearing his powers, it really starts to prove itself by Track 02. Shin finds him, attacks him with wolves, and Laito STILL doesn’t use his powers, even in self defense. For a man that has 0 self restraint typically,,,,,, he really can restrain himself for the most specific things. This further supports my claim that Laito’s scared of himself with these powers. He’s also just really dedicated to his morals, whether they’re falsified morals he created himself in self defense, or ones that go deep to his core (oh shit, another analysis idea???). 

Then… Laito got angry, and attacked Shin in the process (this happens in track 04. Shin steals Yui in track 03). Again, I know I just said he’s pretty dedicated to his morals. But it’s an oddly human thing to do; breaking your morals once in a while to achieve something. We’ve all done it at least once in our lives. Then Laito beats himself up over letting his angry emotions get to him. And we get such a moving scene.

Laito: “Ah…Fuck…! Why…! Why!? Why did I let myself fall for such an easy taunt!? …Bitch-chan? I’m weird, right now, aren’t I? Because of that guy’s powers…Aren’t I going crazy?”

Laito: “…!? I…I’ve been composed this whole time. Yet…Why do you tell me such a thing!? Just as I thought…You also think that I’m becoming weird! If not, you wouldn’t look at me with those eyes!”

Laito: “Don’t touch me…!! If you touch me…You’ll be corrupted as well.”

Laito: “Fufufu…Ahaha…! I’m not corrupted? No, haven’t you experienced it first-hand? That man’s sullied blood and powers are flowing through this body of mine. Even though I don’t need them…! Even though I never wished for them…! Why…!? Why did I have to get these things forced upon me!? Fuck!”

I know that Japanese doesn’t technically have swear words like we do. He says 「くそ」 (“kuso”) which is an interjection that describes something that’s outrageous. Which is why it gets translated into “damn!” “Shit!” “Fuck!” Based on the context and aggressiveness. But, Laito rarely ever says 「くそ」, and he said it a LOT in this CD. And that’s what really caught me off guard. 

So, SO much is said in those quotes I cannot even begin to fathom. So let’s break it down. 

Firstly, as I mentioned, He’s beating himself up (as well as gaslighting himself(?) Is that possible?) over breaking his own morals and not wanting to have these powers in the first place. And he uses Karl as a scapegoat, as he (and the other brothers) have a habit of doing. Also, he refers to his powers as “that guy’s powers.” He hasn’t even accepted that they’re his, and that’s also what’s really sad.

Then the second line. “I’ve been composed this whole time.” Well we, as Laito fans, know that what we usually see Laito is a façade. But this, right now, is raw Laito, baby. He then kinda gets a paranoia of some sort, trying to read your eyes (which is most likely sympathetic, not thinking he’s weird) in order to blame it on someone, or continuing to gaslight himself. And the third line… Wow that hit hard for me in the feels. You know how Laito usually says he wants to corrupt you? Steal your innocence? (Again, projection, from what Cordelia made him feel). This also further supports the notion that Laito doesn’t think that highly of himself (well, people who have some type of superiority complex do. And he definitely does, sometimes on Ayato levels) and also the fact that he still keeps that façade up. Probably to protect these inner feelings. Again, his statement about his composure says as much. 

It’s then implied that Yui tries to comfort him, saying that he’s not corrupted. He continues to not listen to her and kinda say his bottled up feelings. God that last quote, and the way he says it,,,, ugh god it’s so heartbreaking. As we previously knew, he didn’t want these powers at all. He never wanted to be in any part of Karlheinz’s games. He just wanted to live the way he wants to (even if it is,,,, an unhealthy mindset to live in). He says it in such a fearful and tragic way. Again, he’s afraid of himself with these powers. He’s trying to build back up his facade or adjust it in any way that he can to avoid it, but right now, it’s too much for him. 

Laito: “Bitch-chan, you see. As long as she has someone to make her feel good, she will make do with anyone. …Power does not matter. That’s what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is all about, isn’t it?”

Shin: “Che! You’re just spouting random crap! You won’t deceive me.”

Laito: “Heh…There, there…Don’t glare at me like that..We’ve come all the way up here…It would be foolish to waste our time talking about power dynamics. Let’s enjoy ourselves…I don’t care about complicated stuff. To me, this is everything.”

I actually said something coherent enough in my 2 am notes in response to this to pretty much put it in here verbatim: 

Damn, this boy really just wants to vibe and avoid responsibility (I mean, don’t we all Laito) but he just has to face it. I kinda realize through this drama cd that Laito just… doesn’t wanna face complexity too. He doesn’t, never has. Violence is too complicated, getting involved with Cordelia and Ayato’s relationship by standing up for Ayato as a kid is too complicated, getting on Cordelia’s “good side” (which is uh,,,, awful) is too complicated. 

Putting up that whole perverted façade in order to hide from his own feelings; holy shit idk how I didn’t notice this blatantly before. I didn’t know it would take Shin to make me realize this. Laito never asked for any of this happening to him (none of the boys really did; at least for their pasts). Goddamn, when I try to look at the overly complex stuff, I miss the simple shit so easily. People in real life try to escape like this––using sex and pleasure––just like Laito. 

(Can’t believe I said that at 2 am omg) But, to add onto that, the whole “That’s what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is all about, isn’t it?” Has SO much meaning to it. First of all, it’s a question. Which raises uncertainty about a subject. This subject is what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is. It’s phrased in a desperate way that this is Laito’s way to ask you to help. And that’s huge. Also, I think it’s Laito’s way of saying to not judge him right now, and to still accept him for who he is. If he really thought that Yui was that “loose” of a woman with no standards, he wouldn’t have cared to say this, or implied his purpose: which is wanting to make Yui feel good. Which, I think in Laito terms, means “wanting to make Yui happy.” And he wants to continue to be there with her through this double meaning. And wow. That’s,,,,pretty poetic.

Last note; I know that Shin even said or implied (I’m too lazy to go back to the direct quote) that he was like “bruh get over yourself, these are your powers now, get used to it” (which set Laito off I believe). And going in, I didn’t think I’d get much out of this duo in terms of development, but WOW, there’s a chock full of stuff. 

If you’ve made it this far, congrats! Holy crap I think this is longer than the Hilde analysis. 

Thanks for reading as always! -Corn

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Four - Back to Humdrum

Returning to Loveland was as heartbreaking as it was exciting. Part of me missed the lazy days spent in Bali, enjoying each other, Victor relaxed and perfectly content by my side. But the other part of me was thrilled to go back to my life as Victor’s wife. I felt like, after two years of trying to find myself, I had finally been able to lay down roots and see the fruits of my labor.

It was easy to fall back to old routines, especially because Victor enjoyed a bit of humdrum, a way to help him unwind from his incredibly busy life. So that morning, like many others, I felt his lips on my hair as he whispered to me that he was going for a run and then I fell back asleep, only to hear sometime later a lovingly mocking voice calling me sleepy head and warning me it was time to get ready. Like all the other times, I dragged my sleepy self to the shower, slapping my husband’s behind while he shaved, getting the same playful scoff in return. And according to tradition, I entered the kitchen with my hair still wet, trying to remove the remaining sleep from my eyes, I was greeted with a cup of coffee, warned that I should drink it slowly because it was hot, and sat on the stool while Victor finished making breakfast.

“French toast for Mrs. Lee.” Victor placed a plate with freshly made french toast and fruit in front of me, pecking my forehead. “Eat while it’s hot. Do you want more coffee?”

“No, I’m good.” I smiled at him, while he went to the stove, grabbing a serving for himself. “I should make breakfast more often. I feel so spoiled.”

“It’s alright, I get up earlier than you anyway.” He sipped his coffee. “Besides, I like to spoil my wife. You can return the favor by spoiling me in other ways.” He smiled suggestively, picking up his phone to read the news.

“And what ways would those be?” I teased back.

“You are creative enough. I’m confident you can think of something.” He smirked while swiping on his screen.

Our morning ritual also included a moment of quiet. It was a comfortable silence, where both of us turned to our daily schedules, preparing ourselves for the day. After breakfast, as usual, I cleared the table, while Victor grabbed his briefcase to leave. However, there was something different about this particular morning. I came home to Loveland only to find my old car dead to the world, which meant I needed Victor or the driver to take me to work since I wouldn’t dare touch any of his many cars. When I met him in the hallway, Victor was lost in thought, staring at the aquarium.

“Are you ready?” I looked at the aquarium, trying to see what he was seeing.

“Do you think our lobster is getting fatter?” He furrowed his eyebrows, observing our pet more closely.

“Looks the same to me.” I frowned at him, confused.

“It’s definitely fatter.” He concluded. “The housekeeper must have overfed him, I’m sure. He’s obese.”

I laughed, being met with a scolding gaze that quickly made me shut up.

“Victor, there is no such thing as an obese lobster.” I looked at him in all seriousness.

“Yes, there is. We have one.” He declared, closing the subject. “Let’s go, I have a busy day today.”

I found Elise waiting for me next to my office door, schedule in hand. First order of the day, to meet with my research team to know about the evolution of the study, next an emergency meeting with Olive. As I was leaving the research department, I got a call from Victor.

“Can you talk?” He spoke like the CEO I first met, incisive and cold, yet also tense. I reckoned being back after a two-week vacation meant that Victor would be a very busy man these first two days.

“Hello handsome.” I smiled. “Hard day?”

“Nothing that I can’t handle, don’t worry about it.” He softened, a smile clear in his voice. “I’m calling to let you know I’ll send a driver to pick you up, I have an emergency conference call at six.”

“It’s ok, I can take an Uber and meet you at LFG. I want to say hi to Goldman and Diane.”

“Call the driver instead. I’ll wait for you here then, and we can both go home together.” He paused, letting out an exhausted exhale. “How is your day going?”

“Good so far.” I spoke nonchalantly. “I’m heading to an emergency meeting with Olive, to discuss my future in Loveland University, whatever that means.”

“Not hard to guess. The GESA awards were announced last week, she knows you’ll have plenty of job offers.” Victor offered casually. “She wants to secure your position in the University. Assess what will make you stay.”

“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I’ll know soon enough.”

“Alright, I should go now. Good luck with your meeting.” I heard the rustle of sheets and Victor sighing heavily. Probably Goldman handing him more work.

“I hope your day gets better. Love you.”

“See you later, my light. I love you too.”

It turned out Victor was right. Olive Carson wanted to discuss with me what the next step in my career would be, now that I had more free time, since the second part of the study was basically data collecting.

She was no fool either. Olive knew that I couldn’t be lured with a better paycheck, so she offered me the thing that she knew I appreciated the most: recognition. She offered me a job as a teacher, but this time not to teach Economic Theory, but to create my own subject, based on my own study.

Although it was flattering, it also made me uneasy. I excused myself, with the promise of an answer after some thought.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, as I pondered Olive’s offer. It was every researcher’s dream to have his work recognized and deemed worthy to pass knowledge to younger generations but at the same time, I felt this was all to keep me there, and not solely because of my work’s worth. Besides, creating a new whole subject from scratch, even being from my own study, meant that I would have to travel frequently to the companies I was studying, evaluating them carefully, and that meant more time away from home, away from Victor.

At that moment I wanted nothing more than to root down next to the man I loved. We had gone through so much already to be together, and my hard focus on work had made Victor feel dejected, so I didn’t want to cause him so much pain again. Also, I knew he was excited to start this new life with me, as much as I was. I couldn’t make myself absent again because of work. He deserved better. We deserved better.

I was brought from my thoughts by Elise, knocking on my door.

“You told me to remind you when it’s six pm.” She sneaked from the door.

“Yes, I’m just answering some final emails and I’ll be on my way.” I said, not lifting my eyes from the computer. “You can go home.”

I hurried with my replies, not wanting to bring work home. I had a lot to think about already. I was just grabbing my purse to leave when there was another knock on the door.

“You’re still here? You should be home…” I trailed off, realizing I wasn’t talking to Elise. In her place, I found a tall man with dark sleek bangs almost covering his violet eyes, wearing a white shirt and grey pants. “I’m sorry, I thought you were my assistant.” I frowned. “May I help you?”

“I’m sorry to just knock, but I saw no one at the desk outside.” He apologized politely, with a smooth warm voice. “You are Dr. Andrea Jones, I suppose?” He extended a hand for me to shake.

“It’s Andrea Lee, now.” I shook his hand, and for an instant I felt a chill going up my spine. “You are?”

“I apologize again.” He smiled. “My name is Lucien Xu. I have read your recently published research, and I must say I am a big admirer of your work. Also, I know felicitations are in order. For the GESA award.”

“You came to visit me on purpose to tell me that?” I frowned at him, feeling suspicious. ”You could’ve just called, or sent me an email.”

“I have friends at the Economics department who I visit frequently, do you know Dr. King? He’s a good friend of mine.” His eyes focused intently on mine, and I felt a wave of relaxation rush over me. He didn’t look like he was lying.

“Yes, he is helping me supervise my research team.” My uneasy feeling magically disappeared. I was being suspicious for no reason. If he was a friend of Dr. King, he could be trusted.

“Yes, he told me you had returned from your honeymoon, and I wanted to take the chance to personally congratulate you for your excellent work. I have been following your career quite closely.” He looked at the chair next to him, and it dawned on me how rude I have been.

“I am sorry, Mr. Xu, I was in a hurry to leave, so I didn’t ask you to sit down.” I motioned to the chair. “But I think I can spare a few minutes.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose. You are clearly a busy woman, and I’m sure your husband must be waiting for you.” He walked to the door, opening it for me. “You know, Victor and I have known each other for years.”

“Well, everyone in Loveland knows Victor.” I nodded politely, thanking him. “Investments, I assume?”

“To be honest, our relationship is one of a more… personal nature.” He seemed to be carefully choosing his words, as we walked out of the building. “Unfortunately, Victor and I didn’t agree on some matters, and that caused us to drift apart quite sourly.”

“Oh?” I wondered what it could be, but I didn’t ask. “Well, I’m sure that if you talk to him, you can reach an understanding.”

“I certainly hope so.” Mr. Xu stopped, and I noticed Victor’s sedan already waiting for me in the parking lot. “Would you please do me a favor? As a sign of good faith. Send your husband my best regards and tell him that... good friends can be found in old enemies.”

“I will, of course.” I smiled.

“Thank you. And congratulations on your recent wedding. I heard it was wonderful.” He took my hand and squeezed it, with a smile.

I walked to my car in a daze, confused about what had just happened. Although harmless, that Lucien guy sounded really cryptic. I shrugged the feeling off, deciding I would ask Victor about it later.

Visiting LFG was always fun, as I had made a lot of friends there. I took my time saying hi to everyone, taking some special time to brief Diane about the honeymoon, until Goldman came to greet me.

“He’s just finishing up.” He said after a hug. “I think you are ok to go now. Oh, and you’ll meet Margot.” He smirked, “I too have an assistant now.”

“Oh, you’re going places, Goldie! Good for you!” I patted his back before I left for Victor’s office.

In the large corridor leading to Victor’s door, there was a desk. A young blonde sat there, typing furiously on her keyboard. Probably the assistant Goldman had mentioned.

“Good afternoon, Margot. I’m Andrea.” I extended my hand to her in a friendly manner. “Is Victor free already?”

She looked at me with very suspicious eyes, refusing to shake my hand.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Lee isn’t taking any visitors. Do you have an appointment?” She spoke dryly.

“Do I need one?” I frowned. “I’m his-”

“You need to schedule an appointment if you want to see Mr. Lee.” She interrupted me. “The best I can do is check if he would be so kind as to concede a few minutes to you.”

Finally, it dawned on me what was really happening. She had no idea of who I was, we had never met before. And I had to admit, she was doing a really good job, being so protective of Victor’s time and space. I decided to play along and let her have it her way. I didn’t want to play the wife card on her first day and embarrass her.

“Can you just tell him I’m waiting for him? That would be a huge favor.” I smiled.

“I can do that, yes.” She relaxed slightly. “Who should I announce?”

“Andrea Lee.” I almost snorted, wondering if she would take the hint.

Apparently not. She picked up the phone to speak to Victor.

“Mr. Lee?” There was a short pause. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Miss Andrea Lee…”

“Mrs.!” I corrected.

“Sorry, Mrs. Andrea Lee asked for me to tell you she’s waiting for you.” There was another pause before she hung up and turned to me. “Mr. Lee is coming right out. Would you like to sit while you wait?”

I nodded politely, taking a seat on the luxurious leather sofa in front of her desk. Soon after, Goldman came to me, frowning.

“Why are you still waiting here? He was about to end the call when I left.” He asked me.

“Mrs. Lee didn’t have an appointment.” Margot intervened, blushing slightly. “I already spoke to Mr. Lee, everything is taken care of.”

Goldman and I laughed, which seemed to make Margot even more uneasy.

“Andrea doesn’t need an appointment, Margot.” Goldman explained. “She’s Victor’s wife, she can walk in and out as much as she pleases.”

Margot turned beet red. I went to her, trying to reassure her. She held my hand apologetically.

“I am so sorry, Mrs. Lee, I had no idea! This was all a big misunderstanding, I hope you can forgive me.”

“His desk is full of her pictures, how could you not know?” Goldman laughed.

“I didn’t recognize her, she looks so pretty in those pictures!” Suddenly she realized what she was saying and panicked. “I mean, not that you are not pretty now, you are beautiful, but people are so different in pictures, you know?”

Margot looked like she was about to have a stroke. Before I could utter a word to appease her, I heard my husband’s voice.

“Here you are. Why didn’t you come in?” He casually rested his hand on the small of my back. He then noticed Goldman’s amused face and Margot’s flushed one. “Is there something wrong?”

“I apologize, I didn’t know she was your wife, and I made her wait outside because she didn’t have an appointment. It was an honest mistake, I’m so sorry!” At this point, I honestly thought that she was going to start crying.

“It’s ok, Margot, don’t worry.” I smiled at her. “For what is worth, I think you were very efficient. I am pleased to see that Victor has such competent people working for him. Please don’t be upset over this.”

“Thank you so much.” She visibly relaxed. “It won’t happen again.”

Victor looked confused, blinking at both of us. After a brief moment, he cleared his throat.

“Now that you know who she is, I’m sure it will not happen again.” He offered. “I’m heading home, you should get some rest as well. See you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, sir.” She took a deep breath. “Have a good evening.”

We got into the elevator and Victor’s deep frown returned.

“I think you broke my secretary.” He stated as the metal doors closed behind us.

Back at home, after changing into more comfortable clothes, we had dinner and moved to the living room to relax a bit before sleep. Despite his busy day, and the load of work he would probably have the next morning, Victor chose not to bring work home, adamant on having time for his family when he was home, even if his family was just me. We sat on the couch, him nursing a glass of brandy, as I rested my head on his chest, the only audible sound being my sighs of satisfaction as he played with my curls.

“How was your meeting with Olive?” Victor broke the silence. “What did she want?”

“She wanted to know what I wanted to do, now that I’m not so busy with my study.” I started playing with the fabric of his sweater. “I could either take a job elsewhere, or go back to teaching. She proposed that I would create a subject to teach, based on my study.”

“A subject for Economics students to take? That’s quite remarkable.” Victor looked at me with wide eyes. “Do you want to do it?”

“I don’t think so.” I lifted the hem of his sweater, sneaking my hand under it to caress his soft skin.

“Why not?”His hand stopped mine. When I looked up, I saw him looking at me with worried eyes.

“Creating a subject from scratch would mean endless hours working and numerous business trips. I would barely be home. Do you want that for us?” I asked, in all seriousness.

“No, I don’t.” He caressed my cheek. “However, I will support you, if it’s something you want. I will not be the one standing between you and your goals, Andrea.”

I moved closer to his face, pecking Victor on the lips.

“I know.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, while he held my waist. “But I’m not sure I want to do it either. I want to enjoy this first year of marriage, just us, building a life together.”

“It sounds like an excellent plan.” Victor pecked my nose, and I laid my head on his shoulder, as he took another sip of his brandy.

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you.” I mumbled sleepily on his neck. “I saw a friend of yours today.”

“You did?” He frowned. “Who?”

“He had an uncommon name actually…” I tried to remember. “It was Lucien. Lucien Xu.”

I heard the sound of glass breaking, and brandy spilling all over the sofa. Victor hissed in pain.

“Victor!” I got up, startled. “Are you hurt?”

Before I could reach his hand, he pulled it behind the back of the sofa, his blood now dropping on the floor.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing serious.” He pulled my arm to bring me closer. “Did you say Lucien Xu?

“Yes, Lucien, does it matter?” I tried to take a closer look at his hand, but Victor wouldn’t let me. “Let me see it, you’re bleeding!”

“Andrea, focus!” He held my arm forcefully, keeping me in place. “Look at me. Where did you see him? I need to know everything.”

“You’re hurting me!” I snapped, releasing myself from his grip. “What’s the matter with you? Why are you so worked up?”

Victor immediately came to his senses, something changing in his eyes, as he relaxed on the sofa. I took the chance to take his hand to look at the wound. It wasn’t deep, just a small cut, no shards embedded in his skin.

“Come on, let’s get this properly treated.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the sofa, towards the nearest bathroom. He followed me obediently, his previous adamance magically gone.

I started pouring some iodine solution on his cut, ripping a packet of gauze with my teeth. Victor watched me silently, as I worked, but I still could feel he was tense.

“He met me in my office as I was leaving to meet you. Wanted to congratulate me on the GESA award.” I intended to pacify Victor, by telling him what he wanted to know, but it actually had the opposite effect. I could almost hear his heart beating wildly on his chest.

“That was it? That’s all he said?” He became insistent again. “How did you know I knew him? Andrea, you must tell me everything. I must know every single word he said.”

“He said that you and him had some kind of fallout, I think his exact words were that things ended sourly.” I tried to recall as I wrapped some gauze around Victor’s palm. “He wanted me to send you his best regards, and tell you you can find good friends in old enemies. I thought it was weird, but to be honest, everything about him was weird.” I looked up to see my husband’s eyes fixed on me, a hint of fear in them. “But this was all it was, Victor, nothing else happened. It was very brief, very insignificant, really.”

“Andy, I need you to promise me something.” He held my shoulders, his forehead touching mine. “If he ever shows up again, if he ever tries to talk to you, you walk away, do you understand? You walk away as fast as you can and you call me. Now, promise me.”

“Victor, I don’t understand why you are asking me th-”

“Promise me.” He hardened his grip on my shoulders. “Please. Promise me you’ll walk away and call me immediately.”

“Ok, ok, I promise. I promise, you have my word.” Victor exhaled heavily, some of the tension leaving him. “But you need to tell me what’s going on. What happened between you two?”

Victor paused, lost in thought. After a moment, he spoke again.

“We both knew Mia. It’s complicated.” He simply stated.

Hearing that brought a bittersweet taste in my mouth. Of course it had to be about Mia, everything in Victor’s past, everything that moved him to the place he was now was motivated by Mia for some reason. Victor and this guy and Mia were probably part of some romantic triangle, both men trying to win the lady’s heart.

“I should’ve known.” I threw, bitterly. He tried to grab my arm, but I pulled away. “You have nothing to worry about. I will keep my promise.”

He wrapped his left arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him, his right forearm clumsily holding me in place, because he couldn’t use his hand. I felt his soft lips on my cheek, his voice husky and warm in my ear.

“You know I love you more than everything, don’t you?”

I pulled back to look him in the eyes, seeing in them love, and a hint of worry. I still wasn’t sure why the Mia subject made me so uneasy sometimes, but it did. She was married, he was married. But I couldn’t shake it off.

“I know.” I smiled weakly. “I love you too.”

I could still feel the uneasiness in his embrace, and I have to admit the whole thing was making me slightly uneasy too. But whatever it was, we would deal with it. Together, as a team. I was sure of it.

[its-amboo]

Temptation

This is something I wrote for my english class, but I liked it so I thought I would put it here :) (does include mentions of death and blood, but nothing too gory) 

He was gone too soon.

That’s what they always say, but really any time would be too soon. Any time that I have to spend, the years I will endure without his presence- they will always be too much, too many. He could have died in a thousand years, but if I still had to continue on my own, then he would still be gone too soon.

It’s funny, they say ‘gone too soon’ like I’m unaware of the fact. That I believe it was the right time, that it’s perfectly acceptable for him to be gone and for me to be alone. It’s not. It will never be alright, I will never be alright. Not without him, for the only time I feel at ease is when I’m in his arms.

Now, I live with the constant fear. The realisation that he’s really gone has begun to worm its way to my heart, infesting my body with the idea that he will never again walk through that door and hold me. It stings, every time I feel it, like thorns digging into me from inside, piercing my lungs and making it hard to breathe. I wish my breathing would just stop, so I could at last be reunited, but it always seems to come back, and I’m hit with another wave of knowledge; the knowledge that I’m not with him. It reappears in different forms, but it always hurts the same.

But my end is not yet to come, and I carry on living the best that I can, trying not to collapse at the very mention of his name or any image of his face. It’s exhausting, and the world seems to be against me. It poisons me, haunts me, but not in the way you would expect. I don’t see him in shop windows, mistake his voice in my ear, no, instead I feel him.

Well, it’s not him. It could never be him, and I’m not foolish enough to think that. Loss is a difficult thing, but I know the feeling. We’ve all lost something, but when something small is absent it’s rather hard to be aware of what I’m feeling now. But this loss, it’s something big. The feeling is amplified, and the wounds it causes are greater and deeper to accommodate this. This feeling, it’s of absence. Not just the absence of him, but the absence of space entirely. It’s the lack of him, in places he once was, and now he’s gone God doesn’t know what to put there.

It’s like something wiped away space altogether. I feel it when I stand where he usually stood, leaning against the kitchen counter with such carelessness. He would put his hands on the counter top behind him, standing there. Now, as I pass through the space a chill invades me, running up my spine and ghosting over my arms, raising goosebumps in its wake. I have to stop, to see if the feeling will pass, but it doesn’t. There’s nothing there, and I know that- but that’s the problem really. Nothing’s there, but he should be.

I think the world is confused, because it knows right now a body should stand in this very spot, but its lack of existence is disturbing the very fabric of being. He’s destined to stand here, but his death has broken destiny, now the strands of reality are pulled thin in this space, allowing a draft through. I move out of it, because the cold is starting to hurt my head, right in the centre. I hiss in the chill and break free from it, trying to pretend I hadn’t experienced it altogether.

It’s weird, having cold where there should be warmth. He was always warm, and he always warmed me. But now, there’s ice. I shake my head to clear the thoughts, and carry on with my living, knowing better than to dwell on the thought of him. Of course, a part of me is always thinking about him, but if I draw attention to it I find the feeling is much worse. I let myself forget about the chill, but I do put on a jacket, to hide the bumps still decorating my skin.

Forgetting. It’s a blessing and a curse. Forgetting helps me to move past the incident, but it also makes the shock of it happening again much more pungent and sharp. I sat at his spot at the dining table, the closest one to the door, and it hit me like an avalanche. The chill, the frost, the frozen pain. It stabbed me, clung to me, grew on me like mould, it’s feverish grip as it held me fast in the chair. I tensed all over, begging for the feeling to leave me, but it wouldn’t. It reached my heart, stilling it into some tight longing sensation. My hands gripped the seat of the chair until my knuckles turned white, and my eyes screwed shut, blocking out the world. This was cruel, this torture. Why did it have to be cold? His inviting warmth, it could soothe me, but this chill was intended to do the opposite. I was in distress, trying to writhe away from the air, but it didn’t let me go. I couldn’t get out of the chair, something was holding me to it, chaining me to this heartbreak. You can’t forget forever, at some point you have to remember. And remember it I would, there was no forgetting the feeling. The feeling of his absence, God’s cruelty as he was ripped from me, like a part of me was removed and never coming back.

Eventually, the feeling subsided enough for me to move. I opened my eyes and pushed the chair back and away as hard as I could, scrambling up onto my feet incase it caught me again. I left the chair out from the table, sitting there like a warning. I wanted my jacket again, I was so cold. I walked to the pile of washing I was yet to do and sought for it. Somewhere in here, my armour. I rummaged through the pile, and found not my own jacket-

-but his.

It was green, a dark forest green, and long. He was tall, and I remember this jacket well, the way it covered him, the shape it took when he wore it. When I held it, it felt like holding him, soft and comforting. It had been buried under a mountain of fabric, and its warmth was not too dissimilar to his own, but still not the same. However, its scent was his- his and only his. It was sterile, like desert sand; fresh, like the green tops of strawberries; and yet, sweet, like a syrup that sticks to the roof of your mouth and stays there. I hadn’t smelt this since he had last held me, but now it was here, for me to feast on.

I ran my hands along the fabric, smoothing it out, surveying what was once his. Here, in the middle, was something I had hoped not to see. His blood, dark and flaking at the touch. It stained the green of the jacket, but I didn’t mind. Something else of his, I thought, barely pressing my fingertips to the substance, tracing the outline of the stain, picturing where it would have been on his body.

I hadn’t been there when he died, but now, I had my chance to say what I would have said had I been there. I knelt on the floor, jacket draped along my knees, and I whispered to the jacket all of things I needed to tell him. I would have whispered them in real time, too, because no one else deserved to hear these words. I didn’t feel these things for anyone else, so nobody else should get to hear them. They were for him, and I wondered if he could hear them now. From above, the sea of golden clouds where he now lived, could he hear me? See me as my vision grew blurry with long harboured tears. Did he notice, how my voice grew hoarse as my throat grew tight. My heart dropped with each confession, each declaration. Why had I waited? I would have liked to see his reaction, but now I couldn’t. The jacket couldn’t talk, it couldn’t show how it felt. I imagined his face- his wide, but subdued smile; his eyes, how they always seemed to shine no matter how dark the world was; his hand, gracing my cheek with the simplest brush.

My hands trembled as I picked up the jacket, I pressed it to my face, burying myself in it. I had done so when he wore it too, pressing into it until nothing else remained. Time would stop in his embrace, all else would be removed and it would just be us. We didn’t need anyone else, I didn’t need anyone else. If I had him, the feeling of him, the scent of him, then I would be happy. This wasn’t the same, but then again nothing would ever be the same.

I made do, with the jacket. I kept it with me at all times, holding it close. I slept with it, tangled in my arms, face pressed deeply into its folds. I couldn’t bear to be apart from it, the sensation of it not being in my hands was devastating. This was him, and it was mine. He was mine, and I couldn’t lose him again. The idea of washing it, it was unbearable, so the jacket grew dirty and the blood on it turned black with time. I still held it, not bothering to avoid the stain. In fact, I often focused on the patch, because it was even more him than the jacket. I touched the blood, felt the dry roughness of it against my fingers and smiled. If I rubbed hard enough, some of the black liquid would transfer to my skin. It was beautiful, coating me and staining me. I never washed it away, not once, because I would be removing a part of him from myself. I let my fingertips grow as black as the stain, and then- and only then- did I push my fingers past my lips and let the taste of him spread across my tongue.

It was oddly soothing, letting my mouth absorb his life, the once red essence of him. I found such enjoyment in it, and it became somewhat of an addiction. Every day, I would absently dye my fingers with the blood, and by night fall I could indulge in my secret pleasure under the security of the darkness. It was heavenly, and I imagined this is what true bliss felt like, licking his blood from my hands, making sure to waste none of it. It would be a sin, to let this sweet, indulgent nectar be wasted. I swallowed every bit of it, desperate for more, but swallowing my desires until the next day. I had to restrain myself, but nobody can pretend forever. It grew too much, the thought of having him inside me. Where he couldn’t leave, where my body would absorb and never release him. If he was in me, then we would be one, and for as long as I existed, he would exist within me.

My love, he would become mine. Truly, mine.

I waited for a beautiful moonlit night. The clouds had resigned themselves away, and the moon was as bright as any star. It shone down on me, as I prepared the jacket for my final act of love. The knife was sharp as I worked it through the green, well-loved fabric. I cut the seams, freeing the arms and panels of one another. They would be back together soon enough, I promised them, as I continued slicing and cutting. It felt nice, to cut into him like this. To feel the resistance of the fabric, his resistance as he wordlessly begged for me to stop.

“My love,” I whispered, “It’s ok, my darling, this will be short.”

I sat down at the table, the scraps before me. My mouth watered at the very thought of what was going to happen. I had stopped myself for so long, but this was my reward. As I placed the first piece on my tongue, it was glorious, the sensation of swallowing it, forcing my body to accept the gift of him. He tried to lodge himself in my throat, but my resolve was unbreakable. He would be a part of me, I was determined to do this. It was for his benefit, too, for if not this fabric would disintegrate into nothing, and time would leave its unstoppable mark. Now, he would be immortal.

I kept eating, devouring hungrily every last segment of the jacket. The parts stained with blood were the best, flavoursome and oddly delicate as I swallowed them down. This was it, he was mine now, and he couldn’t escape me again. If I went anywhere, he would come too, and if I ever needed him, he would be there. My darling, my sweet lover, how I had waited for this feeling again. This feeling of being complete, being whole- being full.

[archergwenwrites]

ZM - Feb 10 - Fake Dating

@zutaramonth

“I still don’t see why I have to go.”

Sokka frowned at the Switch in his hand from the comfy chair. “It’s simple, Katara. Dad’s a teacher; at least half his coworkers will be there-” The console beeped sadly as Suki’s beeped triumphantly. “-and he’ll be disappointed in you if you don’t show up so he can brag about you.” He turned to look at Suki whose lap on which he was reclining. “How to you keep doing that, woman?”

Suki stuck her tongue out at him before replying, “get gud.”

“Rematch,” he said, kissing her nose. “Anyway, Katara, just go to your five year reunion. Who cares if you’re going solo? No one’s gonna care about high school drama.”

Both Katara and Suki snorted in derision at the same time. “Fine, think poorly of your classmates. But I bet that-”

The door to Sokka’s apartment slammed open and then closed as his roommate returned. He tossed his keys into the bowl on the kitchen island, effortlessly turned it into an exhausted wave, and practically floated through their small living room gathering and down the hall. Another door slammed, presumably his room, and the three in the living room all exchanged amused glances as the muffled sounds of rustling still drifted back up the hall. A creak announced a door opening again, and Zuko emerged from the hall. He collapsed into the couch next to Katara, making her bounce slightly with his force on the fluff.

“How is everyone?”

“I’m doing-” Suki’s switch beeped merrily again. “Oh come on!”

“Give it up, Boomerang,” Zuko drawled, leaning his head back on the couch to stare at the ceiling, exposing his long, pale neck. “Your girlfriend is unbeatable.”

“Damn right I am!”

“Stop victory dancing under me! This is very unsettling!”

Chuckling, Katara returned her gaze to Zuko’s neck – since his face was currently unavailable. “We’re fine. How are you?”

His low groan was somewhat lost in the din of Sokka and Suki’s playful argument. “I’m alright. I’m just, tired of dealing with people, both at work in Uncle’s shop and with the city council.”

“Well I think you’re doing an amazing job.”

He lifted his head to give her a big smile just as Sokka turned to them from where he was now upside down on the chair. “Hey Zuko, go with Katara to her high school reunion. She needs a fake boyfriend to stave off all the terrible gossip remaining from high school.”

“Oh that’s not-”

“Sure, what night is it? Uncle will happily give me the night off.”

“Um, next Saturday. Doors open at 4:30 with dinner starting at 5:30. We don’t have to stay the whole time.”

He gave her a cheeky eyebrow raise. “I’m prepared to stay as long as it takes. I’ll save you from the gossips.”

“Careful, Zuko,” Sokka said teasingly before Suki shoved him onto the floor with a thwump. “Katara was quite the heartbreaker in high school. You’ll have to beat them off you with a stick.”

*

Katara was clenching the steering so hard she thought she might snap it off. “We should probably go over our story before we go in.”

Zuko gave her an amused glance. “Our story?”

“Yeah. How long have we been fake dating?”

“How long ago was your last relationship?”

She thought for a moment back to college. “Three years.”

“Year and a half then. Taking it slow because we started when you were in your final semester of college, about to do study-abroad; I was just elected to the city council but didn’t want you to get away so to speak without taking a chance, so we’ve only been dating in the same city on equal life footing for eight months, but it’s been long enough that it’s not too early in the relationship to bring me to a reunion and have it be desperate.”

“Yeah that makes-” She blanched. “That’s very good but my dad will be in there.”

“So tell him your plot.”

“What!” Zuko shrugged. “He’s Sokka’s dad, too. You think he wouldn’t like a good prank?”

“It’s not a prank,” she replied, exhaling as she released the steering well. “It’s winning the relationships.”

“That’s healthy,” he quipped, getting out of the car. She laughed as she slipped out of the car.

“Really? You of all people are gonna say that when you would date your private school girlfriend no matter what crap she’d put you through?”

Zuko shrugged, throwing an arm over her shoulders as the moved towards the door to the gymnasium. “Takes one to know one, princess.”

“Gross. No nicknames.”

“Oh, Sugar Queen? A memorandum on nicknames?”

“Knock it off, Prince Ponytail.”

Zuko laughed, and from the other side of the gym Hakoda caught his daughter’s eyes. “Whatever you say, Sweetness.”

In front of the check-in table and the innocent Earth Kingdom girls who’d volunteered for this, Katara punched Zuko with a quick jab into his side closest to her before turning to them. “Hi, Katara Sweetwater and guest.”

Zuko took her nametag from the nice volunteer and stepped close to Katara so he could affix it to her blouse. She blushed at the attention. He tapped her nose with a finger just as her dad’s hand landed on her shoulder.

“Katara. Quick question. I’ll bring her right back Zuko.”

“Nice to see you, Hakoda, sir.”

The older man gave a smiling nod before pulling his daughter to the side out of earshot of others. “You brought Zuko?”

“Before you start, it was Sokka’s idea.”

*

Zuko leaned against the wall blocking access to the small alcove where Katara and Hakoda were clearly hashing something out. Somehow, that must have given a guy with even scruffier hair and leather pants permission to lean against the wall next to him. Zuko just raised an eyebrow, but waited in silence for the stranger to explain himself.

“One of the downsides of being the teacher’s daughter. Always pulled off to get private lectures.”

“I’m not sure; the man has a fine touch with the grill. I’d almost consider him a perk.”

The stranger offered a hand. “Jet.” Ah yes. The one from end of senior year into college. The teenage rebellion one. The “only brought home once to unmitigated disaster” one.

Zuko took his hand and gave a firm shake. “Zuko.”

Jet’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t remember such a name in our graduating class.”

“Oh no, I didn’t go to this school. I’m Katara’s date though. Hence the hanging back. I’d much rather navigate this with her.”

“Interesting. We used to date; did she tell you that?”

“No, sorry. It must have slipped her mind.”

Jet scoffed a little. “Typical. Well, here’s some free advice, since you’re obviously new to this relationship. Whatever Mr. Sweetwater says, goes. She won’t even question how high if dear daddy tells her to jump or to break up with some guy. So I wouldn’t get too attached. If Mr. Sweetwater decides you’re done? You’re done.”

Zuko raised a dismissive eyebrow. “If you think Hakoda could make Katara do anything she didn’t want to do, I’d say you’re a fool.”

“That’s what I thought. But just you wait. Or you could always bail. I mean, it’s a little weird to be coming to a school reunion this early on, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know,” an older voice cut in. “A year and a half sounds about reasonable to me. Katara, thanks for updating me on Sokka. I appreciate it.” Katara, now standing next to Zuko and away from Jet, smiled at her father as he stood in front of the three of them. “Zuko, always a pleasure to see you.” He pulled the younger man into a brief hug. “Good to see you, too, Hakoda.” The teacher turned to the third member, voice and face notably colder. “Jet. Enjoy the party, all of you.” And he waded into the loose crowd.

Zuko offered a hand to Katara. “Well, care to introduce me to some of your classmates?”

“Of course,” she replied, placing her palm in his. “Nice to see you, Jet.”

“Uh, yeah. Same to you.”

Zuko gave him a jaunty two-finger salute from the forehead. “Nice talking with you, buddy. Enjoy the party.”

Jet just glared, and Zuko had to keep him from laughing. He leaned down to Katara’s ear. “Please tell me you have more ex-boyfriends I can annoy.”

She turned, her face so close to his, as she replied, “Unfortunately, no. There are, of course, multiple hearts I broke, but most of them were actually nice.”

“Then why break the pattern with Jet, of all people.”

Katara shrugged. “You don’t always see a mistake before you make it.”

Gently bumping her shoulder with his, he replied. “Fair enough.”

*

Katara tried not to panic as the dinner ended and spun into dancing. Zuko was too good at this. She knew that both his jobs required him to charm people, but she didn’t know when he had gotten good at it. Well, not good like a politician is good at charming. It all felt so real, the way he was genuinely interested in Haru’s moustache care or how he listened to Jin talk about her full classrooms of adorable kids. He still stumbled over words - he was still Zuko - but no one seemed to care, least of all him.

When he asked her dance for a slow song, she regretted having asked him to come the way she did, but it was too late now.

“This is nice.”

He only hummed in reply, the note vibrating in his chest. With her ear pressed against his sternum, she could swear she could feel it.

“You were so charming. How do you manage it? It can’t be just all that council practice; I see you enough times when you come home from a session.”

He chuckled, another pleasant vibration against her face. “I just comfort myself with the knowledge that, given how few of them I met before tonight, even just as your friend, I don’t have to see these people for another five to ten years, whenever they schedule the next reunion. It makes it a lot easier to let the mistakes roll off my back, because they’ll have forgotten by then.”

Katara pulled back. “You would come to another of these with me?”

“Of course, Katara.”

She leaned close, still swaying to the music. “Real or for tonight?”

His eyes widened, but he didn’t immediately say anything. Disappointed, and shocked she was so disappointed, she tucked her head back on his sternum. “I’m sorry. That was, unfair, of me to ask.”

“No, it just, surprised me. I didn’t expect you, well.” He paused. “Do you want it to be fake? Because if not, we can ditch this popsicle stand and get some real ice cream and get talking in peace.”

“Getting ice cream sounds nice.”

“You gotta remember to take it slow though; don’t want to get hurt going to fast in trying something new.”

“Of course. It’s the best way to appreciate what you chose.”

As the song ended, Zuko pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Then, Sugar Queen, lets go get you some super chocolate fudge.”

“Aww, you remembered!”

[milkygcf]

Hiii I c ur doing reqs. U don't have to do this one though. I'm sure you'll be getting many so only if it inspires you 💖 buuttt here goesss. Vkook x reader. Jealousy. Angst. plshappyending. kluvvyouuu.

//credits to @jjks for the gif!//

Pairing | jjk x reader (ft. kth)

Genre | angst, s2l

Warnings | none

Summary |  ❝ Hiii I c ur doing reqs. U don't have to do this one though. I'm sure you'll be getting many so only if it inspires you 💖 buuttt here goesss. Vkook x reader. Jealousy. Angst. plshappyending. kluvvyouuu. ❞

Word Count | 1.6k

Author’s Note | hi anon!! your request is finished! i tried to make it as angsty as i could, although it does stray a bit from the jealousy you asked for 😅😅 yet if you squint, it’s hinted! alongside this, i hope the somewhat happy ending satisfies your wishes! i also hope this is to your liking ❤ thank you for requesting ✨ ________________________________________________________________

Taehyung has to moderately be the most romantic fellow you’ve ever met. You’ve known the dork for a good four years, befriending him at a summer camp your parents practically forced you to attend.

During the span of time, you earned the pleasure to watch him evolve into one fine man. From wearing those ugly pink shorts he was quite fond of, to having half of his wardrobe being nothing but pairs amongst pairs of slacks. You have to admit - despite your imposing disdain towards that garment, you kind of miss it. 

You also miss the countless nights awake tallying the stars that scattered across the sky with him. Or perhaps all the times he’d invite himself over and insist you watch Avatar: The Last Airbender with him.

Anyway, back to Taehyung being the hopeless romantic he is - lately, he’s been hell-bent on trying to find someone he can share his life with. 

And by time, he did.

However, you are not that someone. 

In fact, you are the side character that doesn’t obtain as much luck as the main character does. You sit and stare in the sidelines, watching as Taehyung relished in the confines of euphoria with someone he now calls his soulmate. 

That soulmate is not you.

“If love was a thing, what would you associate it with?” He queried silently one night, fumbling with his phone. Your fingers coursed through his soft locks that splattered across your chest and you frowned. 

If love was a thing, to you, it would’ve been Kim Taehyung. It would’ve been his deep, rich voice, the way it soothes your very soul and leaves you wanting to hear more. Or the constellations in his eyes - those who suppress every memory he has ever endured. Eyes who spill tears and crinkle when his lips curve into a jovial beam.

There are a mass of qualities you consider to be a concept of love.

He took your lack of response as cluelessness, locking his phone shut and letting a sigh flutter out of his lips. “Don’t you think it’s something akin to a warm summer? Or like a walk by the sea, with the fresh, chilly breeze making your hair flow.”

“That’s a way to put it,” you shifted under him, “Although everyone has different perspectives of the very subject.” “And I hope one day I’ll be able to meet someone with that same perspective.” 

Taehyung’s wishes eventually come true. After a span of perhaps a month, he comes running to you with tears of joy sprouting down his cheeks, the most merry smile spread across his lips. He engulfed you in a jostling hug and pecked your cheek, his sentences nothing but a jumble of words that you couldn’t seem to comprehend. 

If you had known back then, you would’ve told him that to you, love was like a rose trapped in an eternal winter. To you, it was lifeless - non-existent. How could you know of such a thing when you skipped the basics and immediately jumped onto heartbreak?

You are in love with Kim Taehyung - that much was clear. 

Nothing could possibly define the state of your heart as you listened intently to the way his voice spoke ecstatically about someone he was going to share the world with. 

“She’s like a rainbow after a murky storm, Y/N, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so exquisite. Her eyes shine brighter than the crown jewels of England!” The way he interprets her makes you giggle - Taehyung always had a peculiar way of saying things. 

Although, the way your name rolls carelessly down his tongue makes you choke - no longer do you find it soothing, no longer do you find that same old caring tone laced into it. Like you were the only person he ever needed. You and him against the world. 

Heartbreak is a menace - god forbid someone ever experiences the turmoil it brings along with it. It is a plight that once you bump paths with, it encases itself around you and never fades. 

Unlike heartbreak, Taehyung becomes a distant memory. He does fade away - lets himself disintegrate in the nooks of your mind. You can do nothing but watch as he scatters any remaining thought of you and leaves it to his youthful moments in life. 

“Ah - sorry Y/N, we’re going out today! Our anniversary is soon, and we were hoping we could plan a small party.” 

“Right, yeah, that’s okay.” You lie right through your teeth, “Can we meet anytime soon? I miss you, you dork.”

Taehyung’s light laughter reverberates through your phone. Another fragment of your heart cracks and crumbles. “I miss you too silly! I’ve been a bit busy lately… What a bummer! I promise I’ll text you as soon as I’m free! Love ya!” 

You’re left with the eerie sound of your phone beeping. 

There’s a reason why you were never really fond of promises. They were meant to be broken - made to be hopes and dreams only to be twisted in the end. Unfortunately for you, the reason for your heartbreak never texted you back after that.

It’s your fault, really, you were the one who couldn’t come clean to your best friend. If you had told him just a sliver of your feelings, maybe things would have been different. Maybe you wouldn’t be watching raindrops trickle down your bedroom window alone. Maybe, just maybe, your sleepless nights would’ve been replaced with warmth spreading through your skin at Taehyung’s tender touch. 

You can do nothing but sulk now.

Except, you sulk until you stumble upon a stranger whom, just like you, battles the scarecrow lurking around them. It tore them down, made sure they praised regret for as long as they reminisce about each memory conceived with their last love. 

His name is Jeon Jungkook, and just like you, he lives with remnants of heartbreak staining his very soul. 

“She was the light of my life,” he announces grudgingly, eyes gleaming under the dimly lit night sky. “It’s like you finally start seeing colour. Like, actual colour, you get me?” 

Of course you do - you’ve been seeing that colour since you laid eyes on Taehyung at summer camp. 

“What about you?” Jungkook queries then, turning towards your slumped figure. Your fingers anxiously pick at the grass beneath you, a frown curving onto your lips. “Me?” Your voice comes out rather silent, a bit distressed. 

“What’s your story?”

“Well, Jeon, I thought I had everything until I carelessly let it slip away. A dumb move, really, it’s all my fault.” But in reality, how could you tell him? Was the result of rejection better than the state you’re left in now? You would’ve easily earned yourself an answer if you’d confessed. 

Jungkook looks at you with pity circling in the pits of his eyes. He makes it his mission to understand your anguish, what causes such disappointment in your features.

And then? He interlocks his fingers with yours and offers you a mellow smile. You turn to him with wide eyes, mouth agape as to what he was insisting. 

“In that case, I hope we can mend each other.” 

---

Taehyung has been out of it since the moment he cut the last call you’ve had together. Your very last interaction. Since then, he’s been throwing himself into his significant other’s arms, hoping that eventually, he’ll rid the guilt etching into him. 

Perhaps if he weren’t so foolish, things would have been different. How else was he supposed to spend his free-time now? He was used to your constant presence - your pearly whites out on show whenever he makes the dumbest of jokes. 

He craves the enjoyment he used to earn himself with you - the euphoric feeling bursting through him as he continues to relish on the beauties life offered with you.

It’s different now. 

The person he wakes up beside isn’t you - the same warmth he’d find himself aching for every time isn’t there. He finally found someone he could course life with, but it wasn’t you.

There’s a feeling nagging at him, yet despite how much he tries, he just can’t seem to fathom it. 

Taehyung is suddenly aware of his current standing. He’s aware of how you’ve become a distant memory - a fragment of his older life, a life he’s abandoned because he seeked out what he’d wished. 

But was it really what he’s always wanted?

His queries are answered when he spots you by someone else’s side. You’re smiling so brightly it’s almost humanly impossible. Something bubbles within the confines of his mind. It’s clear you’re with someone who’s clearly making you happy, although that someone’s not him. 

The very fact makes him feel somewhat conflicted, however he has no clue as to why he feels so distraught. 

You don’t notice his presence whatsoever, focus put directly on Jungkook and the little ministrations he was making with his hands. He was telling you about this one time he watched an animated movie and how he’d further on adapt to the idea of hearing bells when meeting his soulmate. It’s endearing - it makes you want to tune in to more.

Both you and Jungkook found solace in each other, trying to mend your broken hearts despite how challenging it is. You found comfort and happiness, and by time, you both let go of the burdensome heartbreak sitting on your shoulders. 

That, however, didn’t count on Taehyung’s side. 

And as he watches you be whisked away by a stranger he has no knowledge of, it finally dawns on him how he’d lost you due to his foolishness.

[jane-fucking-seymour]

Legend of the Six Chapter 17 - To the Revolution

Words: 4631

AO3 Link

Going back to Weston is more than just returning home for Catherine Parr.

As she wandered the well-known path, walking with her cloak over her face, she knew that returning there meant that there were a few things she’d have to face, things that, for months, she hasn’t had the time to.

For one, it meant seeing the remains of the town that she just knew was not left standing after the events from which she fled there last. She understood that it would be an entirely different place, and she honestly wondered if anything would even be left standing.

Another, more heartbreaking occasion, however, was to be had: after months of running from it, she’d have to acknowledge that her most beloved in the world was gone. 

John.

She wished Catherine was there to help her through this. She wished she didn’t have to face this alone… but there wasn’t a choice, not with everything going on. They all had roles to play, and this was Cathy’s and Cathy’s alone.

She manages to get up the hill, exactly where they were all those months ago when she witnessed John’s death. She holds back a gasp.

The town is no more. Weston, in its glory, was nothing.

There’s still burned down debris everywhere. Where there was once warm houses and fields, there’s charred remains of an attack that, to the rest of the Realm, was justified. To her horror, not even the executioner station had been cleaned up and broken down. There was a stone wall that, thankfully, was intact, but everything within the town was just… gone.

She moves further down the hill, wandering into the town that, only months ago, would have welcomed her back with open arms.

She walks over to where her shop used to be, remembering all the good times in the now burned rubble: getting the shop with John, their conversations and witty arguments, their decision to stay in Weston and start a life there, the creation of the bookstore to what was its former glory, the meeting of the other queens, and, eventually, the fateful day of John being taken away.

The day everything completely changed.

She steps forward and kneels down at the rubbage, surprised at something she sees. She picks it up: a small, burned up piece of the storefront sign, the one that she and John had created and painted together when they first got the place. With a small smile, she puts it to her heart before pocketing it, walking towards where she knows is inevitable.

The executioner’s station.

The memory of that day, of her watching John’s speech, of her watching him die, bombard her to no end there. She can’t fathom how he was feeling when she last saw him. Did he feel afraid? Was he angry? Did her showing up and showing him that she was still there, still beside him to the end to the best of her ability… did it change anything? 

Does he approve of the woman she’s become since then?

“I thought you were dead.”

Cathy’s thoughts are interrupted by someone next to her, and she can’t help but gasp at who it is.

“Anne?”

Sure enough, Anne Parr was standing before her, the disguise completely ineffective with her.

Cathy expected nothing less from her little sister.

Cathy moves closer to Anne, taking a deep breath as she looks the girl over. “You look good, Anne.”

“And you’re alive,” Anne repeats. “We thought you had been captured- or worse.”

“Did the news not get to here?” Cathy asked, tilting her head. “They’ve been looking for me for ages.”

“No one really passes by here now, ever since…” Anne nods towards the burned down wreckage.

They both just stand there for a moment, considering.

Then, Anne starts to walk off.

“Come on, Cathy. It’s not safe for you here.”

Cathy follows Anne towards the row of tents nearby.

“Has this all that you’ve been living in?” Cathy asks, frowning. Back then, Anne’s house was nearby to Cathy and John’s. They’d often hang out at each other’s places, and the two were close.

Not anymore, however; Cathy hasn’t talked to Anne since she left.

“Everyone’s doing the same,” Anne replies. “There’s been no relief, no help from the Realm. Weston has all but completely been erased from the map, and it’s people, too.”

“That’s terrible,” Cathy says quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

Anne says nothing as she leads Cathy into one of the tents. She’s surprised by how many are in it.

“We don’t have enough for everyone,” Anne replies, as if knowing Cathy’s thoughts. They always were on the same wavelength, it’d be foolish not to assume that wasn’t the case now. “We all need to share.”

Cathy says nothing as she takes the tea that’s offered.

“Why are you back here, Cath? After all this time?”

Cathy frowns.

“I… I need Weston’s help.”

“Oh?”

Cathy puts the tea down.

“We’re starting a revolution.”

“Against?” 

“The Realm.”

“Why would-”

“Catherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn are alive.”

That gets Anne’s attention. Cathy watches her carefully.

“Their deaths were exaggerated to justify wars and unspeakable war crimes. Henry’s gone off the deep end.”

Anne frowns. 

“If they’re alive, does that mean Katherine Howard is as well?”

Cathy’s grip on the tea cup tightens. Anne continues.

“She was a sweet girl. It was a shame what happened.”

“She was alive, yes,” Cathy continues.

Silence.

Then, Anne:

“... but she’s not now?”

“She didn’t make it after Mind Magicks stole her sanity.”

“Oh.”

A beat.

“That poor girl…”

“We’re continuing on in her honor,” Cathy explains quietly. “For everyone’s that’s been lost. We can’t just… let him win. It could mean worse for the Realm than anyone thinks.”

She takes a sip of the tea.

“Weston is a special place. I thought, maybe… the people could help bring it back to its former glory.”

“The people of Weston… well, they don’t really know what to think about you,” Anne admits. “I don’t, either, if we’re being honest.”

Cathy looks up, a bit shocked by the admission. Anne shrugs.

“You disobeyed king and the whole town paid the price for it, Cathy. There’s a lot that’s happened because of you.”

“Not because of me, because of Henry,” Cathy argues, shaking her head. “He’s the real reason behind all of it.”

Anne shrugs. “How are you going to convince the people of Weston of that?”

Cathy smirks. “By showing them.”

“How?”

“Seymour Library has the hidden knowledge.”

“And you’re just going to… waltz on in there? As one of the most wanted criminals of the Realm?”

Cathy’s face falls then. She’s thinking about it before she hears someone behind her.

“I’ll get you those documents.”

Immediately, Anne is on her feet.

“Elizabeth?”

Indeed, Elizabeth Boleyn has entered the tent, sitting down next to Cathy with a note.

“Mum said to give you this.”

Cathy takes it, reads it, then immediately puts it away.

“She’s cautious of you,” Cathy says. “Good on her.”

“I’ll need to prove myself to her, I know that,” Elizabeth replies. “But to you?”

Cathy looks the girl over, then, with a smile. “You have time and time again. I trust you, Lizzy.”

“If Lady Elizabeth is here,” Anne says, bringing the conversation back to the issue at hand. “Does that mean everything Cathy is saying is true?”

Elizabeth nods. Anne sighs.

“Well… I believe you, but just Elizabeth’s word isn’t going to solve everything.”

“Then prove yourself to your mum, Liz,” Cathy says with a grin. “Go to the library. Get what you can. Come back by nightfall.”

Elizabeth nods, standing up. “I’ll be back sooner than that.”

She suddenly disappears.

Cathy turns back to Anne.

“When she has the full reports, she can prove it to the rest of Weston, and we’ll be free to move on from there.”

Anne watches for a moment before she nods. 

“I imagine you’ve been travelling for a long, long time,” Anne says softly. “You should get some rest.”

Cathy nods, laying down where she was; not much other places to go, honestly, and Cathy was definitely a bit more tired.

“I’ll wake you up when it’s time,” Anne replies softly. 

Cathy smiles. “Thank you.”

As Anne leaves the tent, she’s immediately confronted by some of the others that were in the tent as well.

“Is it really her?” one asks.

“We should report her,” another says.

“But what if she’s saying is all true?” another.

“Lady Elizabeth wouldn’t lie to us. Cathy, however…” a final finishes.

“Enough,” Anne says, running a hand through her hair. “We’ll figure this out. In the meantime, nothing has changed. We keep to ourselves, we wait for Elizabeth to return.” 

It takes a few hours but, surprisingly, none of the others decided to run their mouths to the rest of the town; a very, very lucky circumstance for Anne in particular. Harboring a fugitive, after all, has a death penalty.

When Elizabeth returns - hours later, but not before sundown, as promised - she brings a wealth of knowledge.

“How did you manage to get all of this?” Anne asks, looking it over with a few select scholars of the town.

Elizabeth shrugs. “I learned from some of the best queens out there,” she nods in Cathy’s direction before looking back at Anne. 

Anne, however, is distracted by what she’s learning and what the other scholars are saying: the reports of misconduct on the battlefield, the betrayal of Henry when he stabbed Katherine, the deals made in the shadows to ensure the First and Second Kingdom’s demises, the fall of the Realm’s Sanctuary, the slaughter of innocents to push a narrative… so much that, for all the scholar’s wisdom and knowledge, was on official reports in official ink with official seals.

It was as legitimate of a report as any of them have ever seen.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” one of the scholars says, “and it’s treasonous, but… screw it, it’s all wrong. We’ve been lied to.”

“Not just you,” Cathy pipes in. “The entirety of the Realm.”

The town’s elder stands then. “The people should know about this, should know about what the Realm has done. So long as the people consent - and they should, once they hear what is in these reports - you’ll have Weston’s support… provided you can give us direction as to where to put our attention to.”

“We can do that,” Cathy says. “We can start the revolution we’ve been looking for.”

“And how will you do that?” Elizabeth asks, frowning as she looks through more of the reports.

Catherine shrugs.

“What I do best.”

She writes.

She writes about the treatment of prisoners of war.

She writes about the plight of Weston, of its people.

She writes about the corruption of the Blessed Sanctuary of the Realm.

She writes about the experiments at the Temple of Healing at the Heart.

For two weeks, all she does is write.

Elizabeth does her part: she not only masters magick to quickly reproduce the writings her teacher writes, but also teaches anyone willing in Weston. One of the younger villagers came up with a name: Mirror Mages, after their ability to copy the print faster than any press that the Realm had. The name stuck.

By the time they’re done, there’s over a hundred Mirror Mages, thousands of pamphlets, and just as many willing couriers to spread the message far and wide.

Weston, once a place of great potential, burned to the ground due to an injustice thrust upon the town. Within those two weeks - and thanks to the brilliant potential of the villagers, led by Elizabeth Boleyn and Catherine Parr, the town was rebuilt into one of learning, of magicks, and of growth.

They rose from the ashes of it, against all odds, more united than they’ve ever been: one town, one people, rising against their past to rebel towards the future. 

This is Weston, hometown of Catherine Parr, home of the Mirror Mages, and the Start of the Revolution. 

Of course, every Revolution, by definition, has an opposing force.

And now, the town of Weston would be tested.

It’s the early morning when a shot rings out. 

Cathy is the fastest to move to her window, the fastest to see what’s happened, the fastest to jump out of her window and meet the victim in question: a scout, 20 years in age, barely alive when he falls to his knees. 

“Where are they?” Cathy asks, kneeling to heal him up as fast as possible.

“Twenty miles to the south,” he gasps out, coughing up some blood. “Large group. Damn good snipers.”

She nods, looking down at the wound; it was healing nicely.

“You’ll be alright, go get rest-” she starts, but the guy shakes his head.

“They’re coming, Catherine.” He looks at her with all the determination he can muster. “We fight. As one.”

Cathy watches him for a moment before she nods. “Sound the bell.”

He nods, takes another moment, then rushes up, rushing towards the town square, and throws a fireball at a nearby torch. When it’s lit, bells from all around the town sound off and the people get ready.

As Cathy meets up with Elizabeth, she can already hear the captains of groups start to bark orders.

“Valkyre group, get ready!”

“Bring the canons this way!”

“Barrier Regimen, on me!”

A well-oiled machine… or, at least, as well as it could be with only two weeks of notice.

It sounds more impressive than the actual people are.

“How many people do we have ready?” Cathy asks Elizabeth, who is conjuring up some sort of map of the town.

“A few hundred at best,” Elizabeth mumbles. “With half of those hidden under the city. Children, elderly, some others.”

Cathy nods before she turns to the scout approaching her. “How many?”

“Last count was five hundred.”

Silence takes the three of them.

“... alright.”

Cathy moves past the scout, who goes to help the people around her. 

She walks into the town hall, which has now turned into a headquarters for the fight. She looks down at the map on the table - on the other side of the Realm from Holbein, away from Hidden Gem… her friends can’t make it in time if they weren’t already coming. She can’t petition for help from anyone in time, and Holbein is as good as gone as far as she’s concerned for this fight.

They’re alone.

Surrounded on all sides.

The situation is looking dire.

She looks up at Elizabeth and, with a deep breath, nods.

“Take the best scouts you have and get out of here.”

Elizabeth looks at her like she’s crazy. “I won’t abandon you-”

“It’s a direct order, Elizabeth.”

Liz looks absolutely terrified at the statement, shocked even, as Cathy gives her a bag full of pamphlets and papers.

“Head back to Anne, take five scouts. Tell her you passed by the Moon. Then get these papers out there. Write down what you saw here. Write down what happened to the Town of Weston.”

She gently kisses Elizabeth’s forehead.

“I love you, Liz. Go fast, go safe.”

Elizabeth, teary eyed, nods and heads out.

When she’s gone, Cathy looks around at the various people getting ready for the battle. She walks with intention out of the headquarters and straight to her sister’s home.

“Cath, what’s-” Anne starts, but Cathy cuts her off.

“I need a second, Annie. You’re the one I trust the most in this village.”

Anne takes a step back. “I don’t have the qualifications-”

“But you do. You learned from all of us, Anne, and I know you learned a lot from Boleyn especially.” she puts her hands in Anne’s. “That’s the exact type of fighting style that we need right now. I need you at my side, Anne.”

Anne watches her sister very, very carefully… before she nods.

“I’m at your will.”

Cathy smirks.

“Then we’ve won this war.”

The soldiers surround the town easily enough, with horses and attack dogs and cannons.

It’s silent for a moment. 

Cathy quickly heads inside, into the headquarters, into a back room.

She smiles when she sees how it’s set up.

“You did great, Anne,” she compliments, moving into the middle of it.

“Just as you suggested! I even added a few things to help with your energy consumption. The hope is that it lets you continue on for a bit longer than normal.”

“Brilliant, just brilliant,” Cathy says with a nod. She looks around, then at Anne, then sighs. 

“Let’s start a war.”

She kneels down at the center of the room and focuses. Again, the sigil from those months ago appears on the ground.

The blue dragon appears once again; those from Weston remember it from the time their world burned, all those months ago.

The captain of the Realm’s Guard steps forward. “It’s an illusion. March forward!”

The men do… until very real fire emits from the dragon’s mouth.

Inside the town, Catherine Parr smirks within a summoning circle. 

“Thanks, Jane,” she mumbles. She focuses again, her eyes glowing as bright as the dragon’s scales as the dragon moves to her will, destroying a few canons and drawing lines in the formation of the Realm’s men.

“Go!”

Through the fire walks two hundred villagers, a crest of the blue dragon on their clothing. They walk through the flames - the same flames that are taking out the Realm’s men left and right - and go on the attack. Fifty archers from the town’s gates fire arrows through the flames, which catch fire to bring the burning to the men. The Realm’s men are seperated; no longer a full force of 500, but rather a few patches of fifty to a hundred men in each zone.

It’s a fantastic start.

The Villagers, however, aren’t as experienced in war as the Realm’s men, which allows for them to overcome the droves of rebellion coming at them. Villagers and Realm soldier alike die, though the latter less often. 

Catherine, from the Dragon’s eyes, can see this.

“Anne!”

The dragon continues to bring support fire as Catherine continues to concentrate on the summoning spell. Anne steps forward to the Captain of the Shadows.

“Start the operation.”

Just as the Realm’s warriors think they have the upper hand, they’re suddenly flanked by the fifty rogues the town managed to scrape together. Using their own weapons, the Realm’s own weapons, and sheer creativity, then men are cut down to size. 

They’re taking heavy losses, but the Realm is taking more.

The Captain of the Realm, with an annoyed grumble, realizes that he can’t win this, not when the town is so well coordinated.

“Since when did they organize this well?” he asks his second in command as he moves his horse to retreat.

“I imagine it’s the traitor, Catherine Parr, that’s done this so well,” the second says. “Possibly bewitched the entire town.”

“A pity,” he says with a shake of his head. “My hometown completely destroyed by the witch… ah, well.”

A soldier sees the captains retreating and rushes over to them.

“Sir! Do we also retreat?”

“No, you lot will fight and die here,” the captain says with a dismissive wave.

The man looks confused. “You’re not staying? We’re fighting for the Realm, and you abandon us-?!?”

It’s the last thing he’ll ever say, however, as he’s cut down.

“You are not the Realm. You’re a prisoner of war, as is the rest of this blasted company,” the general says with a rolling of his eyes. “If we wanted to, we’d have cut these people down to size already, but there is far bigger issues on our hands.” He looks to his second, not even regarding the dying men at his side. “We’re done here. Let them die. Take the real Realmmen and head back home.”

“Of course, sir.”

Cathy, from the Dragon’s perspective, heard all of this. With a narrowing of her eyes, she draws a wall of fire to cut off the General’s retreat.

He looks up at her with a glare before firing spell after spell towards her.

They hurt, but not as much as he’s about to.

She forces him back towards the fight, back towards the rest of the group. Then, when she figures he’s close enough, the dragon roars to get the world’s attention.

With the men cornered, Cathy dispells the dragon.

She stumbles to her feet, clearly exauhsted, and rushes out of the town and towards the battlefield. Anne, of course, is right at her side.

Cathy quickly moves to the center of the place, where the five generals were.

“Realmmen! Listen to me!” she yells in a voice that booms; a magical amplifier. She can barely stand right now, but she’s going to press on. “Your captains, they planned to abandon you.”

“This is false,” the General of the Realm says, rolling his eyes. “Another one of the Traitor’s tricks. Kill her, men!”

“No!”

They all look back to the man from before - the one the General struck down.

“It’s true. He slashed at me.”

The General looks angry, and Cathy continues.

“Lay down your weapons! We don’t want to fight, we don’t want more blood!” She looks straight at the General for the next part. “We want to be free. And we’ll set the Realm free - your homes - free from it as well.”

There’s silence. She continues.

“Your homes were taken from you - from all of you - and now you’re being left to die in someone else’s war. It doesn’t need to be this way. Everyone can work together to take back their homelands. Isn’t that what you all wanted? You, from the First and Second Kingdoms, whose homes were stolen from you during the Blessed War and War of Shadows. You, the refugees, who have been forced to fight for the very people who betrayed you and your people in the first place?”

The warriors look like they don’t know what to do. 

The General straightens up. “Someone shut this girl up already!”

Cathy raises an eyebrow. “Make me.”

The General, with a growl, goes to do just that.

He raises his hand and Catherine dodges what she could only see as a green bolt of energy. It hits right next to her, where the ground seems to die where it’s been hit.

“Necromancy?” Cathy asks herself, looking up at the man.

The general smirks. “You want to turn my men against me? Fine. But I’ll make sure you pay for it with your life - this one, and any I choose to give you afterwards.”

She is more cautious now; she knows that any hit, no matter how slight, could kill her immediately. The necrotic magick he’s wielding is strong, she knows that much; it would be a shame to die now.

She quickly dodges a few more attacks and, when she hears the agonized cry of a Realmmen and realizes the others around her are in danger of being hit by the General’s magicks, summons up a forcefield to protect enemy and ally alike from the one-on-one. The General doesn’t seem to care, but that changes when Catherine casts another spell - Dispell Magick, specifically - and his spells are no longer useful.

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re really going to bank on close combat?”

She nods. “I’m not going to let you hurt any more people.”

“At the expense of your life?” he shrugs, taking out his great sword. Cathy gets ready with a dagger she borrowed from Anne. “As you wish.”

He rushes forward, swiping furiously as Cathy, who dodges and parries as much as she can… but he’s a veteran swordsman, and she is not.

Cathy moves to dodge a swing, only to realize too late that it was a fake; he swipes upwards now, hitting Cathy across the chest.

She yelps in pain, being thrusted off her feet and up into the air. He uses the opportunity to slam her down into the ground. 

The magickal barrier dissipates, as does the Dispel Magick.

He smirks as a green light appears in his hands.

“That was all very charming, but,” he says, kneeling down next to her. “I think we’re done here. And it was all for nothing. You’ll make a great thrall, Catherine Parr, Traitor of the Realm.”

Catherine can barely hear him, her eyes barely open as she looks up with dispair. She had failed her mission. She wasn’t coming back. She wasn’t fulfilling her promise to Catherine.

She closes her eyes, not having the strength to look at her death.

I’m sorry, Catherine…

He smirks, hand shooting down towards Cathy’s wounds-

-only to stop when he’s struck in the shoulder with an arrow.

He spins around to find that it’s one of his own men.

“Traitor!” he yells, looking up and throwing the spell at the man in question. The man, however, has three of his fellow warriors step in front of him, blocking them all from the attack using their own shields.

The General’s eyes go wide as the four captains also realize the situation they’re in.

A cleric from the Realm goes over to Cathy, gently sitting her up and casting restoration spells on her; she feels her breath stabilize, life returning to her. Then, she sees the hand offered by the previously downed soldier, a smile on the man’s face.

“All of you! Traitors of the crown!” the General yells. “This is an outrage!”

“No,” Cathy says, standing up with the help of the downed man. “This is a revolution.”

The General and his captains are escorted from the battlefield then, flanked by Realmmen and rebels of Weston alike. They’re stripped of their belongings and sent off with a message: Weston is the birth of the rebellion, and it will not be silenced.

The victory is swift and wonderful, with their new allies quickly ushered into the town’s gates, and the dead and wounded are tended to. Some of the dead, thankfully, are even able to be revived, depending on when they died, thanks to the Realmmen’s magick.

Many died that day, but it could have been far, far worse.

Anne rushes to her sister’s side, quick to take her and lead the exhausted woman back towards headquarters.

“What do we do now?” Anne asks.

“We continue the fight,” Cathy replies. “With our new friends here. We get them to help. The First and Second Kingdom’s are just a stone throw’s away. If we get some of the Realmmen to go back home, to tell of Weston… we can surely get more on our side.”

The downed man from before steps forward. “We’ll do exactly that, Lady Parr, you have our word. The First and Second Kingdoms will not be erased from history for much longer, thanks to you.”

Cathy shrugs it off. “We still have much to do.” She sits down unceremoniously, catching her breath; so much magick used at once has detrimental effects on her health. She’ll need to rest for a bit before returning back to meet up with the other five.

“Anne,” Cathy says quietly. “I need you to do one more thing for me.”

“Of course, sister, what is it?”

She hands Anne her dagger.

“Lead them. They need it.”

Anne frowns, looking at the dagger, before she nods and clasps it in her hands.

“I will. The Order of the Blue Dragon will not be denied.”

Cathy chuckles at the name, but in reality she’s touched; John’s legacy will live on through it. Though weakened at the moment, Cathy understands the strength in the numbers they’ve gathered today.

A strength that, once the time comes, she’s certain she can call upon.

All according to plan.

[iwritethat]

Jason Todd: Badass

A/N: Jason Todd back in his Robin day’s, inspired by the Titans TV Series to be quite honest.

>>>>——————————>

They couldn't understand it, no one could. There was Jason Todd, Robin 2.0, renowned for his fiery temper and street thug background - which on his own was perfectly normal - but then there was you. Innocent, kind hearted and pure, beautiful you with a moral conscience to rival Supermans'.

It wasn't supposed to be a viable match but anyone could blatantly see Jason had a thing for you whereas you continued to be unreadable much to the surrounding heroes frustration. According to their knowledge, you were an extension of the Batfamily albeit not in the vigilante game but rather an associate and closest to Jason in particular. Origins remain unknown.

.

In retrospect they shouldn't have underestimated you from the start, possibly even delved deeper into why their resident cold hearted Robin was enamoured with a holy angelic soul such as yourself. Regardless, it was too late and as soon as you'd heard whispers of Robins capture echoing throughout Young Justice you found yourself standing before Nightwing and his selected Team within the hour demanding you go with them. Wally laughed, and Artemis immediately slapped him whilst Dick shook his head in disappointment.

"I'm going."

"I get you wanna protect Robin (Y/n), but it'd be safer for you here." West justified despite how adamant you were.

"Thanks for the concern KF but I can handle myself. When do we leave?"

"They’re right, it’s too dangerous, we’ll bring back Robin. There’s too many men to risk your life (Y/n).” Nightwing was correct, his tone more of an order even though you were not under his supervision by any means.

However, the one thing about knowing Nightwing was that he was Team Leader, essentially whatever he says goes - and this time that didn’t fall in your favour.

That's not how you found yourself staring up at Bane with Robin tied up a few paces behind you with blood dripping from his lips - no, you did that by disobeying orders and tailing the Team. It hadn't surprised you that Jason’s reckless headstrong attitude had gotten him stuck here in the first place but you couldn’t chastise him when you’d reinacted the same choices in order to save him. Meanwhile the rest of your unwilling squad were withheld by the threat of your safety - you're sure you could hear Batgirl and Kid Flash curse at your behaviour but you’d do anything to protect the people you care about.

.

"Bane right? How about I propose a deal, if I beat you senseless then we all go free and if you win, then you can do whatever you want." You playfully suggested, the less than intimidating stature you held and cherished smile encouraging his confidence. Even though he had the upper hand, it wouldn't be displaying the correct image to his employees if he turned down a challenge from the weakest opponent out there.

"I wouldn't Bane." It was a cough, a splutter from a smug Robin despite the unanimous glares/protests from the rest of your team.

"Bring it Pipsqueak!"

It was painful for all of them to watch, Kid Flash making visible movements towards you every time you took a hit only stopping himself when guns were aimed at your figure. You heard Artemis and Nightwing desperately call your name as you were slammed to the ground again, Banes hand tightly around your throat as you were pushed further into the floor with a groan.

"Stupid bet to make kid, but you and your friends will pay for it." He released his grip, allowing you to slowly get back onto your feet and wipe away the blood from your nose with a giggle. The villain immediately snapped to you, expressions of shock littered the room - all except the relieved smile of Jason because he knew you better than anyone ever could under the kindest smile known to man.

"I haven't lost yet~"

“Wha-“

“Did you know that you pivot your right foot 45 degrees away from your target when you go for a left uppercut?” Your head tilted as he came at you, performing the perfect counter thus silencing the room.

“And you do not have your anger under control, therefore your movements become desperate and easier to predict. Much like now.” Your tone was informative, analytic and upbeat as you sent Bane to the floor again.

It was like something flipped, reality had been warped or some other inconceivable explanation was required - your movements had changed, now quicker and stronger than ever as you anticipated Banes every offence, mapped him out like a book and within 57 seconds the huge male was knocked unconscious on the cold concrete of the warehouse with you elegantly crouched on his chest with an innocent grin. In the midst of their awe, Nightwing managed to take an advantage whilst the guards were distracted enabling his team to make a clean escape too.

.

You delicately walked over to Jason, slicing his restraints with the male practically falling into your arms.

"I warned him, that was badass doll." Robin lowly chuckled, forehead resting against yours which displayed how grateful he was to see you. Normally affection would never be displayed in front of anyone else unless it was playful flirting but this? This was meaningful.

"You okay dork? You're bleeding a bit." You softly replied, thumb brushing across his lower lip to remove the crimson liquid and looking back up to be met with his admiring gaze.

It was no secret that he liked you, it was in the way he spoke or rather flirted - a characteristic of Robins as you'd discovered but it was genuine, you knew because he opened up to you - whether he had meant to or not. There were the sweet gestures where he forgot himself and the momentary lapses, where he remembered that he was Robin and dating you would be dangerous.

Yet in this instance he couldn't care, because danger was exhilarating and you would make everything worth it so he closed the distance a little further as if silently asking if you felt the same. You noticed, being attune to the way he thought made the whole ordeal easier and you couldn't help the sincere smile gracing your features at the action, taking it as a sign of approval his lips met yours in a slow chaste kiss.

It was over as soon as it got started, Robin not even thanking you as you glared up at the boy wonder before rolling your eyes and brushing past Kid Flash who could barely make sense with his frantic gestures. Artemis' gaze followed you out, opting to comment on what they were all thinking as Jason stood beside Nightwing.

"No wonder you like (Y/n) so much."

"Tch, yeah right. That badass nerd - hell no." Robin laughed, smirking proudly at his brother.

"You literally just kissed-" Dick began, already confused by Little Wings’ contradicting displays.

"Bro, you kiss girls all the time. Doesn't mean anything."

"You what?!" Barbara practically radiated rage at Jasons’ haphazard statement, Nightwing instantly paling at the revelation.

"Ah no, Batgirl not like that I - Robin!!"

"See ya, thanks for the assisted save because let's be honest (Y/n) woulda just come alone anyways!" Before his brother could finish, Jason had offered a salute and disappeared into the night leaving the ‘adults’ to resolve their issues.

.

Later that night, you found yourself in one of Gotham's many local bars leaning against the counter simply minding your own business when a bottle was slid in your direction. You directed your irises toward the origin, finding none other than Jason wearing his favourite hoodie under a casual jacket with a beer bottle in his hand.

"How was your night?"

"I saved a guy tonight, didn't get much thanks mind you." There was a tinge of venom in your voice but it was more exasperated than anything.

"Oh? A kiss and a beer not good enough, what sort of thanks were you expecting?" Jason was sarcastic on the other hand, leaning on the bar beside you.

"I don't know Jaybird, now Arty, Wally and Babs know what I'm capable of. I'm an asset to them."

"You're not, Dick wouldn't let that happen and you don't have to join the Team. But hey seeing you kick butt up close and personal was an experience." He was serious now, your companionship was important to him and he’d never let them use your abilities when you didn’t want part of his lifestyle. He’d promised that many moons ago.

"Oi! What the heck are you two doing in here, you aren't 21!" You both flicked to the outraged voice of Dick Grayson, the male standing at the doorway with Barbara in tow. It was a shock to Dick and Barbara when they caught you both at the bar, underage - how'd you even get in?Instantly Jason grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers with his own as you both laughed whilst dancing through the crowd toward the fire exit.

"Don't even think about it or I'm using this as blackmail!" Babs echoed, not so fluently managing to evade bodies due to her taller stature.

.

You ran, and you laughed, staggering onto his favourite rooftop of all Gotham - the one adorned with Gargoyles, his favourite perched proudly at the centre. You’d managed to lose the other two more experienced Bats much to your amusement. The wind graced your skin and your gaze shifted to the night sky admiring the rare clarity of the stars, however Jason came to a halt beside you, finding your fascination to be much more beautiful.

"It's funny, we're just a streetrat who needs adult supervision and a misguided teenager who can barely function in society. How did we make it this far?" You mindlessly stated, eyes embarrassingly directed toward the ground as you smiled.

Jason moved closer to you, lifting you chin with his finger to meet his irises before he spoke.

"Isn't it obvious? Because it's us, we're here together despite whatever our connection is." He was so gentle despite his contrasting occupation, closing the distance between your bodies as he went.

"I shouldn't have kissed you tonight." Your tone was lower, halting his actions and you missed the brief glimpse of heartbreak cross his features. However his tone was more confident yet soft as he replied working to hide his disappointment.

"I'm pleased you did."

"Ah classic Robin behaviour." You rolled your eyes, but he sensed the playfulness behind your comment.

"If you haven't noticed... I've got a little thing for you, it's been us as a team for a while that somewhere along the line I thought about 'us' as more. Sure you're no vigilante, but you're my friend and that means more than anything." It was enough, you could allow yourself moments like these to be forgotten with the wind. And you let him in once more, like you had done on multiple occasions before, you let him kiss you, with as much admiration he could display in such an intimate act.

You pulled away, breathless, enjoying the time you had knowing that every night he left could be your last - but for now, you had him.

"I'm glad it's you Jason."

"Me too (Y/n). Me too, until death rips us apart."

.

Little did you know how soon that would be.

[almostrealdudes]

Losing Her (No Endgame Spoilers)

A/N: Hello my dudes. I watched Endgame, and I have the unfulfilled urge for angst. And you know me, a bitch loves a good heartbreak. So here I am, bringing you that good old angst you might be desperately needing.

THIS PIECE HAS NO ENDGAME SPOILERS. IT IS SPOILER-FREE

Summary: Those are little pieces about selected MCU characters, which describe them losing their female significant others.

Warnings: Angst, loss of a loved one

Tony

Tony is rational. He’s been to life-threatening situations; he’s experienced the risks, but he always had it solved in the end. Be it relationships, business or apocalypse, Tony never lost control. He had it. And she was right there beside him. Through the entirety of it. Her life was never under question. Protected, at all times, surrounded by suits and bodyguards, kept in a secret place, anything it takes. But sometimes even everything is not enough.

He couldn’t accept it. It was not supposed to happen. It was illogical, irrational. He wouldn’t accept it. It’s his fault, his misjudgment. She was his responsibility. She trusted him. He was supposed to keep her safe. And he didn’t do it. He failed her. His first priority. His… her.

I didn’t do enough to protect you.

Steve Rogers

Steve has a lot on his shoulders. Being a country’s symbol, he has to be the beacon of hope everyone looks up to. Which, evidently, hasn’t been easy. It’s hard to keep this optimistic determined attitude with so much loss and tragedy. But she was always there. Steve looked at her, the way she smiled, the way she laughed. She was a sign of things still being okay. She kept him going. She was his own beacon of hope. The little one to keep the big one going.

And now she wasn’t there. All Steve could think about was how she will never come back. Her smile, her laugh, her light. They were all gone. She was gone, and the hope of people’s hope was gone with her. 

I can’t do it without you.

Thor

He has lost so much. His hammer, his eye, his people, his family. She has always been the last remaining thing he has held oh so dearly onto. In his coping with trauma, she’s become everything to Thor. His sun, his stars, his support, and strength. To have her was the greatest blessing. To lose her… Thor couldn’t express what it would be, because he dreaded to think about it. It was never under consideration. He had to keep her safe. Everything around him could shatter to pieces, but he would protect her, whatever the cost. But he couldn’t. Just when you think a person can only lose that much, he loses again. The wreaking, eating pain, which pulsated in every inch of his body. The blame. The regret. And a phrase, burnt into his mind, repeating itself over and over again. 

Not you too.

Loki

No one would think Loki had anything he really cared about. With so many lies and cunning, there wasn’t much space left for anything genuine. But it wasn’t completely true. Loki did care. For his mother, his brother. Her. He loved them, dearly. He loved her. His mother was gone, and his brother and he had a complex relationship. She was the only person he could be real with. He allowed himself to open up. He let her in. He was happy to share his pains with somebody else. He was happy to express weakness. But then, life plays a joke on you, and a person who is now a part of you is ripped away, leaving so much empty space inside. And Loki has no way but to fill it with lies. They were always his cover. And he will remember to never shatter them again.

You were the only person to see the real me.

Peter Parker

Although Peter is a hero, he is still young. Terribly young for the problems he is faced with. But he has no choice but to deal with them. He first tried to be rational about it. To think it through. He tried to distance himself from her because he understands it’s bad for both of them. But he can’t help it, and he falls in love, and he wants nothing else but for her to be close. And she is. They are happy and crazy in love and Peter swears to protect her at any cost. But to take such responsibility is only a way to get hurt.

Peter can’t stop crying. Every object, every song, every picture, everything he sees reminds him of her. Of how she was gone. Of how he lost her. He blames himself. He will never forgive himself. All he wants is to go back and prevent the tragedy from happening. He will never be the same.

Please, come back to me.

Peter Quill

Peter is used to feeling alienated. He is used to having his hobbies and interests mostly to himself, because galaxy, although so insanely populated, feels especially lonely and distant. So when he found her, he was damn sure to keep her close and never let go. She was the one who danced. She shared what he loved, and she gave all he ever needed: a sense of family, home. With her, the oh so lonely galaxy felt a lot cozier. Wherever they were, Peter always felt like he belonged. Because she was right there beside him. When he lost her… it just felt like he was thrown into space, without any oxygen or protection. It was silent, cold, Peter felt like he was suffocating. How could it happen? How could he let it happen? She was the dearest thing he had. She gave him so much happiness and love. And she was gone.

I will never feel at home without you.

Stephen Strange

Stephen is cursed with knowledge. He sees through the universe, he knows what is to happen, and more than anyone else in this world, he knows there’s nothing to be done. He should not allow himself to be emotionally involved. It is a risk too big. Yet, Stephen can’t help being human, he can’t help being drawn towards her. She’s understanding, smart. She sees past his professionalism and detachment and somehow makes him have fun. It’s only with her that he uses his powers for something not galactically important. He shows off, enjoying her looking at him with admiration.

And he is heartbroken when he sees her fate. He searches for alternative paths, day and night, he looks for the way to avoid it. He loses his temper. But there is no way. Her death is a link in the chain of the universe. And he has to let it go.

I wish there was a way to save you.