#WITH BONUS. not understanding that the asking should have had to occur.

[istherewifiinhell]

hmm. can this be communicable and requistionally vague enough? lets say. a situation of. one persons unilateral decision making. which fails to past much muster in its reasoning to. other parties enduring the consequences?? and well there just no opt out now. only midigation. but being treated at fault or. in the wrong. i suppose. for just being vocal like. Lol this sucks? and im gonna avoid as much of it as possible? like. COME ONnnnnn.

[bluexiao]

#monsieur neuvillette’s relationship headcanons

NOTES. finally a work after months. i missed this, tbh. but hey, here’s my new husband for you. might also have a part 2 of this i feel like i haven’t written everything yet

WARNING. real identity spoilers (nothing too explicit from the current archon quest i haven’t even done it yet oops)

NEUVILLETTE

(Before)

Before the relationship began, it took a long while for him to truly process what he had been feeling towards you—to be frank, he even thought he was getting sick (which was impossible. He never got sick.), though that thought comes to an end the moment he realizes that the effects only happen when he is around you. Only you.

He had heard of love before. Had seen love. Had read about love. Not just the platonic or familial ones, but also romance and more. And yet, he does not understand them, simply because he considers them as something someone like him would not eventually feel.

And yet, it all changed when he first saw you. Curiosity turns to admiration, and admiration turns to anxiety—which is never good; the sweating on his hands and the back of his neck, and the pressure on his chest whenever your presence comes.

He was only reminded of the term romance when he consulted Sigewinne about it.

“Does it only happen around a certain person, Monsieur?” “Monsieur, I think you are simply in love,” she says. “Humans do tend to have the same symptoms but it does not necessarily mean you are sick. It appears to me that you feel the same as well. Does their presence give you happiness?”

He did not even need to ponder over his answer. What he does ponder over is how he should deal with it. The evidence is overwhelming, and there is only one verdict. And yet, where does this lead to?

Contrary to popular belief, he will confess as soon as he is sure of his feelings. He is an honest and honorable man. He would confess his feelings if he could, but it did take some time knowing how busy his schedule was.

The only thing that probably was able to push him to go through was the Melusines. It took them weeks to have him clear his schedule up for a nice little dinner date that they had planned and suggested to the Monsieur.

“Recently, I have come to realize that I have developed a romantic interest with you, Y/n.”

“I do not intend to put pressure on you. I shall accept whatever judgment you make. I do not wish for you to change how you treat me in any way.”

“If you may… I can only ask to indulge in this meal with you for tonight. Your company eases me greatly.”

Brutally honest. It may even drive you crazy how this all seems so easy on him.

But in reality, his palms were sweating underneath his gloves and the slightly cool sensation of the utensils as he blurts out his intentions for setting up such an occasion. His heart was pounding but he could not process whether this was about how you looked especially good tonight or his nervousness with finally confessing his feelings for you.

Or maybe both. Either way, all evidence of such leads to only one thing—you.

Bonus; I do think he’ll reveal who he is first before he gets into a relationship with you but that really depends on how observant you are.

(During)

It was a surprise to him, at the very least, how he had managed to keep you as his lover despite what he lacks. He knew how he was not well-versed with “feelings” per se (just in his mind), but you, the angel that you’ve always been, chose to be with him.

The sudden change did not occur to him much, actually. But he did notice how much his mind lingers to you more often than not, and how he will end up recalling how you are now his one and only lover.

It takes time for him to adjust, but it all started with frequent conversations (much more than before), then sending flowers to your place every other day (constantly), though most of the time they’re delivered by someone else, knowing how busy he is as the Chief Justice.

Or when he started to first brush his gloved fingers to yours.

When he does something, it will be constant. (Maybe this also comes from being responsible and disciplined as shown by being the Chief Justice). All the things that he did before, he still does them now—unless you’ve told him no, of course.

He is definitely a man of his honor!!

And would always ask for your permission first before he touches your hand, or holds them, or hugs you, or kisses you.

He does like pampering and showering you with “offerings” though.

Stuff like buying your favorite flowers or trinkets once or twice a week, making sure you have enough supply of the best water out there. And even with how he always has an umbrella or parasol for you (ones he got ever since you got together; one in his office, one that’s foldable for him to carry under his coat, and one he gave to you for every time you leave the house.

Through the course of the relationship, he learned about the beauty of life, which is how he sometimes brings you flowers despite its short life. However, he still secretly prefers giving you trinkets for your hoard of gifts from him, mostly because it symbolizes his everlasting love for you. (He’s very romantic like that, even if he does not know he is)

He will also introduce every single Melusine in Fontaine. At first, it may surprise you how he knows all of their names, but it will surprise you even more the moment you realize you could do the same. If you do, he’ll love you even more (which he thought was impossible at first as he knew he already loves you very much).

The Melusines will treat you as their other parent the moment it is known amongst all of them that you’re his lover. Sigewinne, for one, would always give you a personalized gift. She would also always send you letters to ask how you are and probably be quite excited whenever you accept an invitation for a cup of tea.

Monsieur Neuvillete is not jealous, but he is possessive and territorial. It’s a dragon instinct, forgive him.

It also comes with being protective. Though he’s not feral, he would make sure to always shield you away from any harm, or anything that might take you away.

One time, he had to deal with a bunch of… shameless individuals who had tried to make a move on you, and though he has great trust on you, he cannot help but have the same self-deprecating voices in the back of his mind.

Though instinctively, he finds himself buying you trinkets or flowers again.

“Hm? You just gave me one earlier, didn’t you?” You look up with a confused look but still hold that smile that stirs butterflies in his chest.

He nodded. “The flowers reminded me of you, mon amour. I could not help but feel the urge to give it to you.”

It does not stop him from giving you offerings.

Of course, he cannot just give up on you. The ruling of whoever deserves your love and affection the most. Of course, he is at an advantage knowing that he’s already your lover.

“Is there something wrong?” You looked up to him, hearing the pitter patter of the rain outside through the taps on the windows. You had your hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing them with your palms.

“It’s nothing, mon cœur, no need to worry.” He flashes you a reassuring smile, and yet, at the back of his mind, he wondered how you could have thought to check on him. Is it perhaps the gloominess in the atmosphere?

You frown as you look at him intently, “There are times when you’d shower me gifts with a saddened look on you. I’m worried, is all.”

He stares at you then. Ah, so you noticed, he thought.

He chuckles as he shakes his head and stands right next to you. “May I?” He opens his arms and you nod and dive right into his chest. He enclosed you into an embrace, relishing the feeling of your warmth.

He kisses your forehead then. “Allow me to bask in your presence for a while.”

For short, one of the best. Definitely a 100/10.

[ash-says]

Hush Hush Honey:

A guide on how to regulate oversharing and balancing the conversation flow.

Each one of us has at least been in a situation where we accidentally ended up spilling more than we should. We do recognise the patterns but are unable to control ourselves. That's why your girl Ash-says is here to say a lot about it.

1) Find the why

What are you trying to achieve by sharing that piece of information? Drama? Attention? Get it off your chest? Is it important to inform them? Is it valuable to them?etc.

First tackle the why. Before you go in to reveal something ask yourself if it goes with the conversation flow and if yes is it really important to share it.

2) Are you a celebrity?

No like why? Who is interested in your life so much? Are those people paparazzi to broadcast your current events and bring you fame? No right. So shut up.

3) Who puts their dirty laundry on display?

When you overshare you are basically putting all your secrets, stuff that you do or did on blatant exposure. People are going to judge you. That's the very nature. So breathe and keep it inside.

4) Try to listen more

Train yourself into listening more than speaking especially in group settings or around people that you don't know much about. Gossip is real. You don't want to be the next tea time sensation.

5) Alternatives for talkative people:

Now I know you might be thinking can't say this can't say that then how the hell am I going to bond with people or what should I converse about?

I have developed a solution for you. It's Ash verified because I myself have been using it unknowingly for around 7 years of my life.

Never open your mouth for passing judgements, expressing your opinions on things that do not relate to you, your dirty laundry, secrets, family issues, relationship issues, your sex life, your goals and aspirations, your daily routine, your political standpoint,etc you get where I am going right?

Instead speak about the experiences you had while travelling somewhere, some goofy stuff that happened to you, your harmless vice for example: I am clumsy so I have a lot of incidents that occur due to it which can be told in a funny way. It adds a nuance to my perfectionist image plus helps people warm up to me. Movie shows, songs, etc here also there's a catch if you relate to a show/song/ piece of literature strongly never reveal it. The smart ones will understand the inner workings of your mind.

Never let them know your next move.

If nothing of this then goof around being nonsense. Do little hand gestures, funny faces if you are bored but never overshare.

6) Be mindful of interruption

Practise practise practise. Literally that's the only way. Try not to interrupt people while speaking. There's no roundabout way. It is what it is.

7) Be comfortable in silence

You have to be okay with the conversation dying down. Running your mouth dry will only result in one sided convo. It's more useless and harmful than the one mentioned before.

8) Know your limits

Fix in your brain what you can share and what you can't. Stick to it. Even over your dead body.

9) Be genuinely interested in people

Ask yourself are you asking questions to really get to know the other person or just looking for a chance to talk about yourself? Dethrone yourself first and then interact with others.

10) Put out stuff that you are over with

Always remember what you say can and will be used against you. Drill it and from next time when you speak be mindful that every word can stand against you. Do you have the capacity to handle the consequences? Yes then go ahead. No, then stop live streaming.

Bonus point: Be as private as possible on social media. People don't need to know what you are doing nowadays. Privacy is power. What they don't know they can't ruin.

Strategically put things out. I am not saying be inactive. In Rome you live like the Romans. Do it smartly.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[doodlegirl1998]

The House Arrest. 

One of the very few times where Bakugo actually faces some consequences for his actions.

Unfortunately, it is undermined by the fact that Izuku is also being dragged down with him (even if it was a day less, he is still punished for basically defending himself. Bakugo admitted to throwing the first punch but for some reason, likely Hori's Izuku hate and Bakugo boner, Izuku feels the need to mention that he punched back. Why? And if Aizawa was an actual good teacher, he wouldn't have even needed to ask because basic observation shows that Bakugo is the obvious aggressor).

And in the long run, since Bakugo was given 4 days, he missed out on getting his ass kicked with the rest of his class by Mirio (a character that I don't like, mainly due to the fanbase feeling the need to wank him off and put Izuku down for the hundredth time).  

A really missed opportunity would be to have Bakugo getting a dose of humble pie after getting his ass kicked by those he thinks are weaker than him (Izuku should have beaten him in their second fight).

But what gets me is that his supposed "friends" don't even try and get details about what happened and just go on to call them idiots. While that easily applies to Bakugo, I don't understand why they would think Izuku would willingly throw hands with Bakugo without a reason. 

Ochako has a really dumb response: "Whaaaat!? Did they make up afterward?" 

Iida's response really pissed me off. 

I hated how he basically insults Izuku by calling him 'Mr. House-Arrest'. Like, real mature, Iida. And he says that he was forbidden from telling Izuku anything that they went over in class that day. Yeah, he apologized but it would still sting.

We don't see or have a line saying Izuku tried reaching out to Ochako or Todoroki but if Iida's response was anything to go by, it was likely they refused. And nobody else who's at least on friendly enough terms with Izuku doesn't either just out of kindness or pity.

Izuku has such great friends, doesn't he?

Man, they were real friends, Ochako and Todoroki would say "fuck whatever Aizawa and Iida said" and secretly give Izuku notes and information about what their class had gone over in the 3 days he was out. This will show that Izuku truly does have friends that have his back. 

Bonus points for maybe including Tsuyu and Tokoyami also joining in and helping Izuku.

Hi @ultimateemerl 👋,

You are spot on with this!

How the house arrest played out was deeply unsatisfying to me. Aizawa being apparently "so smart" and "Mr Logical" should have seen via the security camera footage that Izuku was merely defending himself against Bakugou beating him up. I don't think Izuku should have been punished for that other than being told next time if a situation like this were to occur to alert a teacher straight away.

Izuku certainly should not have been placed on house arrest with his abuser and aggressor for gods sake! That's just asking for another incident to occur!

Other than that as you mentioned not only was the punishment unsatisfactory but as was how the fight played out.

Izuku let Bakugou win again.

Izuku didn't beat Bakugou's ass, tell him how unfair it was to drag him out after curfew to beat him up or tell him he isn't his friend and he's done with him like Bakugou deserved. I would have clapped if Izuku did 👏👏👏.

Instead Izuku still thinks he's amazing... For some reason. Izuku lets him beat him up (to those who think explosions would win against 8% OFA I have no idea what to say - logically BKG should have been K.O'd by Izuku even back then), praises him and calls him "Kacchan" indicative of closeness when there is literally no closeness there. It all felt deeply unsatisfying to read and to watch especially with All Might coddling Bakugou afterward, allowing Bakugou into OFA meetings and looking on fondly at Izu and Bkg 'as rivals.' 😒

Izuku's friends response to this incident again is tone deaf and stupid at best. They should have asked more questions about this, Izuku isn't the type to physically fight someone without reason, they know this. They should also see that Bakugou is antagonistic and open in his hate for Izuku. Yet no questions are asked, why? Because then Bakugou would look like the ass he is, simple. And Hori cannot have that 😒.

Ochaco being like; "What? Did they make up?!" like Ocha... This is not a normal member of your class having a fight with Izuku. This is Bakugou. Bakugou, who has always been open in his hate for Izuku, this isn't a two-sided issue or a simple fallout. Ocha, Bkg dragged your love interest and best friend outside after curfew to beat him up! Where's the anger? Where's the questions? Anything?

Also I agree this isn't a good moment of Iida's, this reads like Hori trying to do some misguided attempt at comedy through Iida's overt "Mr House Arrest" 'rule stickler' demeanor. But I don't think it lands. Instead, it comes across as character regression for Iida who has been shown to disobey rules when it is important to him. So by that logic isn't Izuku important to him? They're meant to be best friends! The narrative tell us this so now would be a good time to show it Hori! This moment could have worked if Iida had been shown to act like this while Mr Aizawa walks by then as he's walking away Iida promises to give Izu all they learnt that day - that actually would have been funny and shown character growth for Iida. But Hori doesn't give us that ☹️!

I wish we saw someone like Tsuyu, Tokoyami or Todoroki help Izuku out instead but I doubt Hori would have allowed them to help Izuku out either.

I wish instead, like you mentioned, Izuku's friends took the stance of "fuck whatever Aizawa Sensei said, you did not start that fight and this is unfair." Then all his friends - Iida included - helped Izuku with his classwork in the 3 days he missed.

That scenario would give a more cohesive feel of the Dekusquad and would show Izu has true friends in his corner rather than Hori leaving all these friendships to rot.

[captain-mj]

Part 3 of pornstar Koenig. You know what we discussed and I am holding your ribs hostage

I'm going to start only answering asks that threaten my bones because this is so funny

Also, if its italicized, its in a language only one of them can understand, thought I'd make this easier on myself

Horangi had a few kinks that were a bit more... out there. He didn't want to talk about them openly, still having that shame about those topics.

So the fact that König couldn't understand him was just a bonus for him because he could speak in Korean and he wouldn't know. He was fairly certain König was doing this as well since he always got shy when Horangi asked for him to translate what he had said.

They were trying something new today and it made Horangi's insides both tense with anxiety and hot with how attractive it was.

König had a camera on him. After some discussion, it was mostly on his back and not his face. He could stomach those scars just a little easier than the one's on his face.

"I just don't understand why you want to record me."

"You wanted me to treat you like I did them, yes?" König had basically purred at him and Horangi had gotten flustered and agreed.

Horangi's hands were tied behind his back as König fucked him hard. Horangi begged for mercy and König, who had no clue what he was saying, took that as a plea for harder. It was perfect.

König kissed along his neck and rutted into him. His hands held him down easily so the binds were basically useless, mostly just keep him from scratching at König. Apparently he had "left marks" that "didn't heal for a week", whatever that means.

"I love you so much, little tiger." König purred to him before sinking his teeth in his shoulder. He held him closer, rolling his hips just right to make Horangi's leg shake.

"Please, you're so big." Horangi pled against him, arching his back so he could take him deeper. "You're breaking me in half."

"Want to tell you how beautiful I find you." König kissed him hard, almost smashing their teeth together. He yanked him up so he was basically in his lap and fucked up into him as hard as he could, growling along his throat.

Tears started running down Horangi's face and he wasn't playing it up for the camera. Pleasure was sparking up his spine with every move of the man underneath him and he could feel himself getting close. König stopped right as he was about to come, giving him a second to breath and come down. Horangi whimpered.

"You dick."

"It's called edging. Do you want to end the show so soon?"

It only occurred to Horangi now that the position change may have put his face in camera but when he looked, he realized König must've thought of that. It was angled to only view his chest and it made him melt a tiny bit that König thought of that.

König kissed along his jaw. "My love, I'd spoil you if you let me."

Horangi shivered, flushing a little. König's hands ran along his thighs as he thrust back up into him. It was maddening. He started to get close again and König paused.

Horangi shook. "You're being so rough with me, please." König caught the word please and fucked him harder, exactly what Horangi wanted. His legs started to shake and he whimpered a little. "My darling, please, mercy."

König growled and didn't stop this time, coming in him and letting Horangi finally finish. Horangi shivered against him and melted.

"We should upload it."

König flushed. "What??"

"We should post it! Is your account still up?" Horangi smiled at him.

"Yes..." König smiled. "Maybe we could..." He ended up posting it later after cleaning Horangi up. Horangi let König spoil him, purring at the feeling.

The next day, König hummed. "We have more views than I was expecting."

Horangi jumped up immediately to look. "Any comments?"

"Just a few. Mostly in Korean. Can you translate?"

"Uh... Let me see here." Horangi took it from and started to read them. "Several about how hot you are. How hot I am. Some about how they want to fuck us, let's see... Oh, dirty talk. Someone is basically roleplaying."

König translated the German ones for him, all similar.

And then.

The bane of Horangi's existence.

Monolingual people.

"Can someone translate what they're saying?"

"Oh! Yeah, so the Korean is saying 'its too big' and begging for mercy. No clue on the German."

"The German is mostly just saying he loves him. How beautiful he is. I thought this was sweet. Is that really what he's saying?"

A few more Koreans and Germans started to talk, translating everything.

"I don't think they talked much about what the video was supposed to be."

Horangi stayed in blissful denial while his eyes slowly scanned over everything. Anger flashed in his chest for only a second before he looked at König, who looked very flustered and slightly upset. He then hit bargaining.

"Listen..."

"Was I hurting you?"

"No! No! Look... I like... roleplaying... And I didn't know how to bring that up. And I promise to never do that again but."

König was staring at him.

"You said you loved me?"

König looked terrified. "I... Um... I love you. This isn't... how I wanted you to first hear it from me. But... Yes. I love you. I usually tell you."

"Why in German?"

"I was too nervous to say it in a language we both understand."

"I love you too big guy." Horangi blushed. "And you're perfect in bed, don't worry. I didn't think about this when I said we should post it... I always assumed you were dirty talking me..."

"I didn't either." König pulled him a little closer. "Do you want to roleplay more?"

"Get the camera."

[lightneverfades]

So I have an idea, this one I might potentially make and it's not related to the Lokius AU I mentioned earlier!

What if AU... Loki time slips back again and again to try and understand science, engineering & physics with the intention of fixing the Loom, but after centuries of doing this and failing every time, Loki is exhausted and he can't help himself... At some point, he goes back in time to see Mobius on his previous timelines (e.g.- pie moment). Or even goes back to see Don - Mobius's sacred timeline self, again... and again...

And maybe when Loki goes back to see Mobius in his own timeline, the spaghettification happens much more rapidly, but when he goes to meet Don, he finds that the so-called 'Sacred Timeline' doesn't deteriorate as quickly as when he is in the TVA.

So when he needs some emotional support or feels so lonely and needs to see a familiar face to talk to, he goes back to see Don on the day he met they met.

And every time, it's like a reverse version of '50 First Dates' where Mobius doesn't know him, while Loki has gone through their same conversation multiple times and has already memorized it by heart.

And after centuries of repeating the same thing over and over, Loki has become an expert on how long a timeline lasts before the spaghettification happens (maybe he has a day or a few hours at most).

Depending on how rapidly the spaghettification occurs, or how slow it is, Loki spends as much time as possible to be with his friend. Sometimes he would change his narrative on their first or second meeting so that he is indeed there to buy a jet ski (or the one Don tries to sell him at his house) and rides it, perhaps even asking the handsome Don on a date.

But the more he goes back in time to be with Don, or with Mobius... it takes a major toll on Loki, who remembers every memory he has with the men while they don't remember him.

Ultimately, Loki knows he has to say his goodbyes because he is getting attached to a dream he could never have and knows he is getting sidetracked from his true mission to save his friends and fix the loom.

So in the end, he goes back to Don one last time, a final farewell date. And he also goes back to Mobius as well, knowing this will be his final farewell to his beloved man as well.

Bonus: Another What if AU - What if Loki finds a way to save Don's timeline from spaghettification (somehow), and therefore he spends years being with Don to the point where he marries Don and becomes the second father to Don's kids (this is a bit like a Wandavision with Wanda creating her own family).

Loki knows it's selfish because he wants to be with Mobius or Don in any form or shape and yet has a mission to do, but he also doesn't want to be alone and this causes him to stay longer than he should have, perhaps to the point where Mobius grows old (he's revealed some part of himself, such as him being a Norse god) and watches the boys grow into teenagers as well.

He lives a normal life, but the guilt eventually takes hold. Loki knows that this reality is not real, he had made this construct for himself because he was in a vulnerable place after having tried and failed to fix the loom a thousand times to no avail. And he goes back to his mission, knowing that someday he will be able to see Don and the kids again... just not physically with them.

[loneamaryllis]

Harrie and her Alpha, chapter 14 bonus

The bonus scene of Mathilda waking up Snape.

Severus was dreaming of the Yule Ball. He was dancing with Harrie, holding her close, looking into her green eyes. She was wearing a green dress, too, that showed off her breasts and hugged her soft curves.

"Why are you wearing green?" he was asking.

"It's a gift. For you."

"I don't want any gift from you, Potter," he said.

"But Severus, we're dancing," she pointed out, with a smile. "You know what this means."

"Yes. I do."

He woke abruptly, to the sound of banging outside his door. Instantly alert, he grabbed his wand, and, expecting an ambush (as always), approached the door slowly.

"Professor Snape! Wake up!"

Bang bang bang.

Throwing the door open, he glared at the culprit.

"Miss Walker. You better have a damn good reason for barging into my office and knocking on my bedroom door."

"It's Harrie. I think she's hurt."

His world went cold, narrowing down to what mattered. Harrie, hurt. Harrie, needing him. Harrie, Harrie, Harrie.

"Where is she?" he said, Accioing a couple of emergency potions as well as a satchel.

"Third floor, at the bottom of the stairs. She's breathing very quickly, and she was making weird noises of pain."

"What did she say to you?" he asked, leaving his office once he had everything he needed.

He walked quickly, and the Hufflepuff had to run to keep up with him.

"She just told me to get you."

"You didn't ask her what was wrong?" he said, with a sharp glance at the girl.

"It was more important to get help."

"Didn't you get a first aid class?"

"Um, no?"

Ah. It was in the second semester for third-years, he remembered now. She should have stayed with Harrie and called for help, or should have asked questions to make sure Harrie could be left alone safely. But there was no point berating the girl now.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, panting now from having to run after him.

"No," Severus said. "We're lucky you were roaming the corridors. Don't ever tell anyone I said that."

"Never!"

He smelled her first, and from the potent, heady tone of her scent, he knew what he had feared had occurred: she was in heat. She mewled when she saw him, whined his name in a breathy little gasp. Muttering a couple of reassuring words, he knelt down, cast a few diagnosis spells. Her heat had just started. It was good news, meant she could understand him still, that she wasn't completely overwhelmed by her hormones.

The Alpha in him was roaring at the sigh of the trembling Omega, at the smell of her need. The urge to protect was a fire in his chest, undeniable. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go.

"Is she hurt?" Miss Walker asked.

Severus had almost forgotten her presence. He lifted Harrie into his arms, nodded at the Hufflepuff.

"I'll take care of her. Thank you for your help."

"Oh, you thanked me! Too bad I won't remember it."

He was surprised by how astute she was. He had planned to fire an Obliviate at her when her back would be turned.

"That doesn't bother you?" he said.

"No. That secret isn't mine to keep."

She was smiling at him, with such honesty and ease it was nearly disturbing.

"Just tell me, since I won't remember: you don't hate Harrie at all, do you?"

"Miss Walker, you are leading me to reconsider my opinion of the entire House of Hufflepuff," he said.

She smiled wider.

"I'm ready, Professor."

"Obliviate," he said, targeting everything about Harrie and him tonight.

He used the slight confusion the spell always caused to disappear from her sight. Harrie groaned something, squirming in his arms.

"Alpha..."

"Yes. Your Alpha will take care of you..."

[noahtally-famous]

deets about the bridgwourtney wt au fic?

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED ANON

no but seriously, I got this ask last night, and I spent the entire day writing out a solid semi-layout of the idea, and I think it's finally (mostly) ready to be shared!!

alright here we go--presenting my braindump for this fic skeleton I thought up bc my girl Bridgette doesn’t get nearly as much love as I feel she should-

fyi: canon divergence stuff (obv 'cause this is an au lmao), and a looong post ahdfjf

kk so each individual girl has some sort of confusion relating to love. Courtney and Duncan are fresh out of a breakup (partly the reason why Duncan quit wt) and Courtney’s struggling to understand what went wrong between them, she ultimately assures herself that winning is more important than romance, but when she starts hanging out with Bridgette more again, some...feelings she had initially brushed off in tdi start to resurface. Bridgette, for her part, is mixed with her past feelings for Geoff (they broke up in tda but are still good friends though at times it’s still a little awkward--maybe some Geoff & Brody mentions??) and befuddled by Alejandro’s manipulation; after Yukon, in an effort to prove herself not susceptible for exploitation so incidents like Alejandro won’t happen again, she vows to be stronger and more like how she was in tdi--steady and levelheaded, not so reliant on romantic relationships--and Courtney encourages this and tries to help her--the two growing closer that way too. meanwhile, Gwen is torn between her growing feelings for Courtney this past season (and half of tda), and now that Bridgette’s interacting more with Courtney, by extension, Gwen hangs out with her too; which allows her to realize more just how the two had clicked previously in tdi, and that the way she feels around Bridgette may not be exactly the same for Courtney, but the overall concept is still the same--so feeling confused and frustrated, she forces herself to focus on emotions for someone that ‘makes sense’: Duncan. 

there you have it: a three-way tangle of chaos and repressed emotions, misunderstandings, and ‘is my heart broken?’ yet ironically, they also have their Soft Moments that only serve to make everything else more complicated for them.

starts off during ‘anything yukon do, i can do better’ where Bridgette gets stuck to a pole by Alejandro, the near-kiss, yada yada; but what’s different here is that when team amazon comes across Bridgette and after singing “stuck to a pole” Courtney insists on taking Bridgette along as well despite Bridgette being on a different team--giving a nod to Courtney and Bridgette’s close friendship from tdi--which the rest grudgingly agree at the prospect of an alliance. they reach the finish line, and instead of getting eliminated, Bridgette is told to switch from team victory to team amazon. 

Courtney and Bridgette get to talk more in-depth in economy class, with the former being more enthused abt the team switch while the latter is still a bit emotionally scrambled from the last challenge’s events. meanwhile, an intern who feels bad for Bridgette and is a fan of her, gives her a letter from Geoff who asks for the Alejandro explanation--despite their breaking up, he thought she had moved on way too quickly and insubstantially, and Bridgette finds herself explaining what had happened and sending it to Geoff using the same intern, and from then on, their letter-exchanging occurs throughout the season, and their friendship strengthens that way. she gets insight abt Geoff and Brody, as well as scrapbook photos that he sends to cheer her up; he'd get insight into her actual thoughts, not just the television portrayal of them. (bonus if the intern who helps her becomes a good acquaintance of hers too.)

the dynamics in team amazon is a bit shaky what with Heather and Courtney vying for team leader and shunting the other down to get to the top; Gwen, at this point, can't be bothered, she takes Courtney's side when she does intervene, but often, she'd only make things worse by snarking at heather. Cody and Sierra are no help, obviously, so that leaves Bridgette trying to play mediator while being the glue of the team. along with that, she holds uneasy tension with team chris bc of Alejandro mainly; Tyler and Owen and Izzy she doesn't mind, though a Noah and Bridgette friendship would be super interesting to delve into. with the hugging thing in Yukon, she initially assumes he has a crush on her, but he only rolls his eyes and says that she was just the closest available heat source and his only other options would have been Heather and DJ--the 'bitch' and the 'cursed guy'. he sardonically adds that he doesn't know how everyone would react if he cuddled a guy again, which is when Bridgette pieces together his sexuality and, as a bisexual or pansexual, she bonds over that, and Noah's pleasantly surprised. they become closer, after the merge, whenever either wins, they usually end up asking the other to come to first class with them, but everyone just knows they're nothing romantic going on (bc there's alenoah tension on the side and obv the bridgette/courtney/gwen deal). But they both basically help each other with their respective love issues, and support each other. It'll be funny bc Noah's more of a 'Tough Love' kinda guy with his sarcasm and his introverted side, but Bridgette is the opposite: she shows her affection for people openly bc she's got nothing to hide, and she's more of an extrovert.

also Bridgette still interacts here and there with team victory--I feel like team chris and team amazon get the spotlight, so I wanna see if I can shed some on team victory lmao

Thinking that Heather gets eliminated pre-merge or during “Greece’s Pieces”

it all comes to a head in "i see london" when Bridgette, Courtney, and Gwen track down the ripper and end up finding Duncan instead. Gwen gets snatched by the ripper, and while trying to nab Duncan, Bridgette and Courtney end up in a ~situation~ where they may or may not kiss (and nab Duncan in a single motion). Gwen witnesses this on the cameras, and her feelings for Courtney muddles--on one hand, she wants to hate Bridgette, but she knows that's not reasonable, and she just can't hate Bridgette. whenever Gwen thinks abt her, her heart pounds as quickly as it does around Courtney; she knows Bridgette is the nicest person ever, and she genuinely has fun and laughs around her. so with her mixed feelings between both girls and her feeling like she's being a 'two-timer' by feeling similar ways for them both, Gwen focuses on the ship that she's heard from Sierra that td fans think will get together: gwuncan. she gets this belief that if she kisses Duncan and dates him, she'll sincerely like him and every confusing feeling she's had for Bridgette and Courtney will go away, and she'll be able to hang out with them like usual. so she kisses Duncan who either kisses back out of surprise or doesn't--but in both situations, he already likes someone else who he was meeting in London when they'd nabbed him and he makes sure Gwen knows that so they're both 'dating' just for the public.

when Courtney hears of this, she still gets upset bc Duncan's her ex and she still considers it an act of betrayal for her best friend to kiss her ex after knowing how much Courtney had cried over him. Gwen stays quiet and accepts the onslaught of insults from her bc she thinks that Courtney being upset about her dating her ex is a better reprieve than Courtney being disgusted for Gwen liking her and Bridgette at once. Bridgette can see that Gwen is hiding smth so she tries to talk to her, but Gwen shuts her out and Bridgette is simultaneously hurt and confused bc Gwen’s normally so upfront with things.

Bridgette and Courtney agree to take things slow-but neither can deny that there's something...missing, though they just avoid that topic. during the london elimination, Owen gets eliminated via Alejandro as a ‘fuck you’ to Noah who’s now beyond pissed and ready to deliver one back when given the chance for eliminating his buddy. Sierra starts gushing abt bridgney and them being cute and how she thought ‘gwourtney would reign supreme’ and everyone’s confused as to wtf that means, while Gwen leaves the room to go to the confessional.

in the episode where Gwen gets eliminated, it's Sierra who gets the boot due to a dual alliance involving Cody (with Alejandro likely at the head) who's just ready to have Sierra gone lmao. oh and Duncan and Gwen breakup.

When Blaineley arrives, there’s a slight rivalry between her and Bridgette due to Geoff hosting the Aftermath and Blaineley ‘snatching’ the spot—though Bridgette doesn’t mind a whole lot, it’s just Blaineley’s personality that irks her, plus she's annoyed on behalf of Geoff.

in Niagara Falls, things are still as rocky between the three as they were before. Duncan and Courtney get picked; I haven’t quite decided what to do for Blaineley; but Chris pairs up Alejandro and Noah, and Bridgette and Gwen by saying that Noah’s a twig and couldn’t pick anyone up anyway—a flimsy excuse but we all know Chris is playing matchmaker lmao. Anyway, the two go across the tightrope, Gwen carrying Bridgette bc if it’s the other way around, they’d be dead already. It’s awkward, until finally Bridgette can’t take it and asks Gwen what’s her deal, then is horrified at how rude that came out and apologizes vehemently. Gwen interrupts her with a fondly exasperated eye roll and laugh, and it’s the first genuine laugh Bridgette has heard from her in a while so she’s struck dumb staring up at her in her arms like oh. Gwen says ‘it’s for the best’ and Bridgette’s like ‘bullshit. We’re all suffocating under this unresolved tension, including you. Now what’s WRONG?!’ and she catches Gwen glancing at Courtney ahead of them, and puts together that Gwen likes Courtney; she’s saddened by this and assumes it’s bc Gwen likes her gf and nothing more; being the nice person she is, she hints at Gwen that if that's what they both want, she’d set them up and she thinks Courtney likes her too. Surprisingly, Gwen looks horrified at the notion but they don’t get a chance to discuss it bc they reach the end and are in second place. Cody gets booted.

Things are relatively the same in China as canon. Bridgette doesn’t eat animals so she dips pretty quickly and catches on that Courtney is cheating for Alejandro. She wants to keep quiet for Courtney, but seeing Alejandro get ahead infuriates her, and she blurts out that they’re cheating. In the end, Sierra wins and Blaineley gets booted along with Duncan, which he’s happy abt. However, there is now tension between Bridgette and Courtney heightened more so when Bridgette finds out how close of friends Courtney and Alejandro are. She tries to warn her, but Courtney says that Alejandro is the only one that seems to understand her. Thinking that’s a jab at her not being a good girlfriend, she retreats and broods, which is where Gwen finds her, and they talk and Gwen reveals that her relationship with Duncan was only for publicity and neither liked each other like that. They bond more, and Bridgette finds herself coming to the realization that she might harbor the same kind of feelings for Gwen as she does with Courtney. Shortly after Gwen leaves, Noah comes across her and they just sit together enjoying the silence of each other's company. Maybe Bridgette discusses the new revelation of her feelings with Noah as well as Geoff during one of her letters to him.

also similar to Geoff and his scrapbook photos, Gwen draws Bridgette and gives it to her bc that'd be adorable.

In Tanzania, due to her clumsy nature, Bridgette doesn't get many tranq balls. She gets hit in the head by a soccer ball and her thoughts are a little fuzzy--both Courtney and Gwen try to hurry over to her and both are taken aback by how in union they are in that moment. Bridgette only gets like two tranq balls (no matter how ticked off Courtney gets at Chris for accommodating for her injury), though with her friendship with Noah and when Gwen tags along, they have a small handful of tranq balls as a group. I haven’t quite figured out what happens here, but in the end, Noah gets eliminated.

Also with the help of Brody, Geoff, and maybe Noah, Bridgette comes to terms with her being into polyamorous relationships as well as monogamous. I can see her being v chill abt it, she doesn't panic abt it or overthink it like Gwen does.

Courtney's the last person to come to terms with this; she's so focused on winning the million that she doesn't give room for her feelings to be acknowledged until close to the end of the season.

Anyway, Courtney and Bridgette have a heart-to-heart after Tanzania, and Courtney apologizes for anything she's done/said that might have been hurtful; they reconcile, and cuddle it out. Alejandro wins immunity, but Courtney nudges him to allow Bridgette to join, and Bridgette pulls Gwen along, and for a half hour it's dead silent and awkward as all fuck, but then they put on a movie, and the four of them end up jumbled together, and Alejandro's sprawled on his chair; Bridgette, Gwen, and Courtney are in one giant pile, limbs over one another. In Easter Island, the subtle tension between Alejandro and Bridgette is finally acknowledged; Alejandro offers an alliance and apology, Bridgette declines. Worrying that this could mean him getting booted, Alejandro maybe does/says smth to Gwen abt Bridgette and/or Courtney to try to dent their bond. As a result, the quips Gwen and Bridgette share as they find their eggs are more barbed than usual and Bridgette is confused af—a jealous and protective Courtney alternates between tugging Bridgette along and quipping back at Gwen though both girls notice that while before, the heat of the words isn’t present, rn there are some barbs thrown that threaten the relationships. While in the caves, they get the whole story and reassurances are said. Bridgette wins the challenge by unloading all her eggs into the nest bc the condor saw her as unthreatening and she loves animals.

In Drumheller, when the plane explodes, Alejandro is the one to push Bridgette out of the line of impact, both as a last-minute genuine act of kindness and another gesture of apology. Bridgette feels terrible and forgives him; Alejandro is out of the game due to the explosion messing with his head and legs, and Chris is angry with the entire situation in general. So now it’s Gwen, Bridgette, and Courtney in the final three.

Bridgette uses her dormant weaving skills to make a hurried hot-air balloon to Hawaii. Now in a wheelchair, Alejandro offers her words of encouragement before heading over to Courtney to see if she wanted to help—Alejandro and Courtney's friendship is obv gonna remain intact. After the stand-off between Courtney and Gwen, where Courtney was supposed to be voted off for whatever reason if the plane hadn’t exploded, Gwen storms off and ends up on the train. (Bridgette votes for Alejandro bc she didn’t want to offend either girl). Courtney fashions a hang-glider, although she lands on the train when her glider can’t sustain itself and her. She and Gwen duet ‘I’m Gonna Make It’ on top of the train while Bridgette tacks along above.

They land on the beach together, Bridgette half on top of Gwen and Courtney; Gwen and Courtney on each other; all of them in a tangle of bodies. Unlike after Tanzania, they don’t move away quickly, instead savoring the time close to each other.

I’m still deciding who’s gonna be in the final two. Either Courtney and Bridgette or Courtney and Gwen with Bridgette being one of their helpers 😅 as for certain characters and eliminations and stuff I want to do for certain episodes, I’m still ironing the details out so hopefully I didn’t confuse you with my seesaw decisions lmaoo

What I do know is that there’ll be tension and awkwardness, confessions, and a group hug at the end. And kissing. Lots of that. And Gwen realizing that it’s okay to like/want to be in a relationship with more than one person—especially if both parties like her back. Oh yeah, and no volcano eruption too.

and possibly some v side duntrent hints from when they remeet in London before Duncan's nabbed by the girls??

Sooo...that's all I've got for you at the moment, anon! Hopefully, you like it!

[rusakkowrites]

For the DVD commentary, the part of Not Quite so trifling that I just LOVE to think back on:

“But I should like to – that is, it would make me feel closer to you.” The colour in Emma’s cheeks deepened as she spoke, and she pressed his hand. “Will you not let me help you?”

What man could have resisted such a plea, when presented in such a manner? Mr Knightley, assailed by a rush of helpless fondness, was certainly not capable of it.

“Very well – if you are certain. Allow me but a moment to situate myself so that we may both be comfortable.” He shifted so that he was sitting in the middle of the bed, pulling the sheet across his legs and propping a pillow behind his back. “If you will sit here – Perry has advised me to begin from the calf and work my way upwards…”

Emma, still blushing, but with a determined look in her eyes, settled beside him. She poured a generous measure of liniment into her hand before slipping it under the sheet – but scarcely had her fingers grazed his skin when she abruptly withdrew them with a shocked squeal.

The mortification suffered by Mr Knightley at that moment can scarcely be described. It was his worst fear come true: that Emma should be disgusted by his altered appearance; that his lameness should come between them in the most intimate moments of their lives.

“I am sorry, Emma – I should not have allowed—” he began, hardly knowing what he was saying for wretched humiliation. “It is perfectly natural that you should be repulsed – the effects of my illness—”

“No,” Emma interrupted him, looking exceedingly flustered, “it is not that! Merely that I had not expected – I had not known—” She gestured towards his still-covered leg. “It is so very hairy!”

For a fraction of a moment, Mr Knightley could only stare at her in utter incomprehension. Then, as understanding dawned, he burst into hearty laughter.

“Oh, my Emma! Forgive me – I should not laugh at you” – he wiped at his eyes – “but it had not occurred to me that that would alarm you.”

“Indeed, it is very unjust of you,” replied Emma primly, looking very embarrassed but also a little affronted. “You can hardly expect me to be familiar with what gentlemen conceal under their trousers!”

“I am exceedingly glad that you are not,” replied Mr Knightley, still struggling to contain his amusement, “but I assure you that I am by no means anomalous in this regard. Men are, in general, rather hairier than women. I am sorry if you dislike it, but so it is.”

(Oh, and can I send more than one ask? 😇)

Ooh, I'm so glad you asked about this scene, because I have a lot to say! (And you're more than welcome to send more than one snippet if you want. I'm very happy to ramble on! :D)

First of all, this entire chapter risked never being written. The idea for this specific scene popped into my mind when I had already written quite a lot of the story and planned out the ending. I knew that adding this scene to my intended last chapter wouldn't really work - I wanted more of an epilogue vibe there, with some time skips and more narrative distance. Still, I really liked the idea of this scene, so eventually I decided that I would add it as a sort of bonus "missing scene".

However, I was writing Not Quite So Trifling for a multifandom event that had a deadline, and I wasn't sure if I'd have time to write this extra chapter. The fic had already grown longer than expected, as fics tend to do. It actually became one of the things that motivated me to get through some tricky parts earlier in the story: if I manage to finish everything else in time, I'll get to write the fun bonus chapter!

Now for some more detailed thoughts:

“But I should like to – that is, it would make me feel closer to you.” The colour in Emma’s cheeks deepened as she spoke, and she pressed his hand. “Will you not let me help you?”

This is a reference to canon, where Mr Knightley wants to comment on Frank Churchill's letter to Emma while he's reading it because it makes him feel he's near her. I also felt that helping Mr Knightley in this pretty intimate way would be important to Emma as a sign of partnership and trust - and because it would provide some physical closeness, of course.

What man could have resisted such a plea, when presented in such a manner? Mr Knightley, assailed by a rush of helpless fondness, was certainly not capable of it.

While Mr Knightley can be pretty critical of Emma's behaviour at times, he's definitely not immune to her charm. We also see in canon that he's ready to do a lot to make her happy and comfortable, including moving in with Mr Woodhouse, which is a pretty big sacrifice. That also helps him overcome his embarrassment in this scene.

“Very well – if you are certain. Allow me but a moment to situate myself so that we may both be comfortable.” He shifted so that he was sitting in the middle of the bed, pulling the sheet across his legs and propping a pillow behind his back. “If you will sit here – Perry has advised me to begin from the calf and work my way upwards…”

I remember thinking that I needed to give readers a clear enough picture of the scene and the positions of the characters. I didn't want to suddenly go into a lot of "he sat here, she sat there, he did this, she did that" type narration, though, so I decided to make it part of the dialogue instead. It also felt realistic that they'd have to talk a bit as they shifted around - being in love doesn't turn people into mind readers.

Emma, still blushing, but with a determined look in her eyes, settled beside him. She poured a generous measure of liniment into her hand before slipping it under the sheet – but scarcely had her fingers grazed his skin when she abruptly withdrew them with a shocked squeal.

This whole chapter is from Mr Knightley's point of view, but I wanted to try to show what Emma was feeling, too. She's pretty nervous about all that's supposed to happen during the wedding night but also more than a little curious about the new intimacy that she and Mr Knightley are suddenly allowed - and on top of that, she's trying to navigate his insecurities about his body. She's been doing really well, but now her nerves get the better of her.

The mortification suffered by Mr Knightley at that moment can scarcely be described. It was his worst fear come true: that Emma should be disgusted by his altered appearance; that his lameness should come between them in the most intimate moments of their lives.

“I am sorry, Emma – I should not have allowed—” he began, hardly knowing what he was saying for wretched humiliation. “It is perfectly natural that you should be repulsed – the effects of my illness—”

One of the things that initially got me thinking about this fic idea was the fact that Mr Knightley is, all things considered, a pretty confident suitor. He's in despair as long as he thinks Emma is in love with Frank, but after that's cleared up, he immediately puts himself out there. He doesn't seem to consider the age difference to be much of a problem, nor does Emma. This is probably partly due to the fact that bigger age differences in marriage were more common at the time, but I also think it's interesting how the narrative emphasizes Mr Knightley's good health and fitness. He's seen by himself and others as a man in his prime. I started wondering how their dynamic would change if he suffered an injury or fell ill... and this fic happened.

Of course, Emma's reaction to touching his leg is straight from Mr Knightley's worst nightmares. I think there's something to be said for the writing philosophy of picking the worst thing that could happen to a particular character, considering their background and personality, and putting them through it. I think, at this point in the story, the worst thing that could happen to Mr Knightley (at least emotionally) would be being rejected by Emma due to the changes to his body. He's struggling with his self-image and masculinity, and she seems to be confirming all his doubts.

But of course, because he's the kind and responsible Mr Knightley, he's still trying to put her feelings and comfort first. However, based on the proposal scene in canon, he seems to have a tendency to become somewhat incoherent when in the grips of strong emotion - lots of interrupted sentences and broken-up speech. I wanted to reflect that here.

“No,” Emma interrupted him, looking exceedingly flustered, “it is not that! Merely that I had not expected – I had not known—” She gestured towards his still-covered leg. “It is so very hairy!”

For a fraction of a moment, Mr Knightley could only stare at her in utter incomprehension. Then, as understanding dawned, he burst into hearty laughter.

“Oh, my Emma! Forgive me – I should not laugh at you” – he wiped at his eyes – “but it had not occurred to me that that would alarm you.”

A piece of storytelling advice I heard long ago that has stuck with me is (more or less) "include a touch of sadness in happy moments and a touch of happiness in sad ones". I feel like the same principle often works well with romance or drama and comedy. I don't really like writing scenes that are pure serious romance. I want to include something embarrassing or funny to mix things up a bit and provide contrast. That's what's happening here.

I also wanted to show how differently Emma and Mr Knightley are perceiving the situation. He's so focused on worrying about his disability that he imagines everyone else is focused on it too. Meanwhile, she's all caught up in the novelty of being in an intimate situation with a man and sees his leg as a side issue. Mr Knightley has made his bad leg into a big thing in his head. Emma, on the other hand, is thinking more about another - ahem - big thing that he's got.

The revelation that Emma was just surprised by his leg hair helps Mr Knightley snap out of it and direct his attention to reassuring his inexperienced bride. Hairiness, after all, is something that he considers perfectly normal. Maybe it's even a reminder of his continued masculinity and therefore something to be a bit proud of.

And of course this moment functions as a release of tension for the characters and (hopefully) also for readers. After all, laughing tends to put people more at ease.

“Indeed, it is very unjust of you,” replied Emma primly, looking very embarrassed but also a little affronted. “You can hardly expect me to be familiar with what gentlemen conceal under their trousers!”

“I am exceedingly glad that you are not,” replied Mr Knightley, still struggling to contain his amusement, “but I assure you that I am by no means anomalous in this regard. Men are, in general, rather hairier than women. I am sorry if you dislike it, but so it is.”

Emma is not someone who enjoys admitting that she doesn't know something. She wants to be perceived as being confident and in control. Like Mr Knightley, she's forced to show her vulnerable side here, and this puts them on more equal ground. I wanted to show them getting back on the same page and getting over the awkwardness by returning to their familiar dynamic of playful bickering and banter. Learning to be at ease together again in this new situation is key to the success of their marriage.

Thank you again for asking about this scene! <3

[acourtofthought]

I can't copy the link so could you go in the gwynriel tag on tik tok, tap on the tik tok that basically makes fun of gwynriels for believing that the cover of CC3 stands for Gwynriel and search for this comment in the comments:

"It’s crazy cause the last time I checked the stans of the crackship had headcanoned her as a glowing singing fish. How does that translates to flame" (please censor this if you could)

And look at the whole argument I had with this person. The comments are out of order thanks to Tik tok, but to explain it all: I explained to them what a crackship is and how gwynriel isn't one. They agreed on that but basically believes that gwynriel can't happen because they have "no canon scenes" which is also not true. I started asking them to send me all the scenes that Yrene and Chaol had before their book (legit none). Told them that I could send them all the romantic scenes of the other ships like Feylin, Chaoleana etc. I tried show that sexual attraction and interest do not equal to love/ endgame, especially when after more than 2 years and everything that happened, Azriel confirmed he hadn't thought beyond the sexual fantasies. They tried to say that Azriel does care more for her as seen in the bonus chapter because it's the "same" as Nessian and I told them the difference between Nessian's chapter and Azriel. They said "So you’re saying sjm can’t write relationships with different dynamics. He felt way more than sexual tension. Even before nessian happened. Reread" which was a respond to my comment that mentioned how Elriel had always been on good terms with no tension while other endgame ships had so and that it isn't a good look for El/riel, especially after Azriel had confirmed he doesn't think beyond sexual fantasies. I still laugh at the "He felt way more than sexual tension even before Nessian happened" because CANON says Nessian and Elriel literally met on the same day and throughout acomaf Azriel had his eyes on Mor. Azriel answering Elain's question does not equal love 💀. And canon literally said that after all that suppose 5 books of elriel canon, Azriel had NOT CERTAINLY thought BEYOND sexual fantasies. Anyway, it went on with them disagreeing and telling me that I am emberassing for fighting when I tried to have a normal conversation with them (maybe yeah I was too direct), that I don't have any proof and can't read when I literally can pull out all the proof and shove it down their throat because Sjm literally wrote all that I've been saying. Also kept on saying that I don't make any sense and I'm like? Is it either because the comments are out of order so it's harder to understand or they forgot all that occured in the books? Then they started saying that the point was that Gwyn is not flame and I can't prove it so I should stop emberassing myself and I was confused about that because I never mentioned that Gwyn is flame and I certainly never agreed so what the hell was that gotcha comment about? My first comment to theirs was literally "Ships stans are always reaching but you also don't seem to know what a crackship actually is, right?" Which indicates that I don't agree with Gwynriel being shadow and flame. Again they hit with the "if you think a ship that has no scenes can happen instead of the ship that has 5 books of canon then believe what you want" and I told them that if Chaol and Yrene could then yes I believe it. Also corrected them on the 5 books of canon because it was only small scenes scattered in 3 books, not 5 full books. To end it all they told me that I can't read and should read their comments right so they don't have to repeat themselves. (Please censor this text too..)

So.. based on the false facts they have given me, I know for a fact they will be thrown off guard once gwynriel is confirmed. I constantly told them what actually happened in the books, I ever agreed that Gwynriel scenes are not romantic, but they kept on telling me I don't make sense and that El/riel care more for each other when that is not true. You could say interest or a crush, but it certainly isn't any deeper feelings nor love because azriel literally said so. It is exhausting and no use to try to have a conversation with them about ships because they're hellbent on El/riel and their suppose love. I truly cannot wait for Sjm to finally announce the ships and for them to scream "fanservice" because apperantly sexual attraction, interest and having more scenes equals to endgame when Sjm has proven otherwise so many times.

I might be a stupid and mean for showing you all this, but I wanted your opinions on this since we have the discussion about El/riels problem with holding on for their ship.

You can try reading the comments but since it's completely out of order it's gonna be a little harder to get it.

I mean, right off the bat they're obviously forgetting canon facts.

Not that the cover of CC3 has anything to do with any of the ACOTAR characters but I think what Gwynriels are saying is that if it did (as E/riels keep trying to push that it relates to Elain and Az), Gwyn and Az would be more likely than E/riel ever would.

Because canon tells us that Gwyn's grandfather is a High Fae of Autumn Court nobility. Since powerful Autumn Court members have Fire as their ability, it's common sense. Not to mention Nesta noting a "crackling" around Gwyn which could hint at that being hidden power.

But that's what they do. They choose to ignore anything that doesn't support their ship.

Your arguments to them are all spot on and really, you know everything you're saying is accurate. And I think that to some extent, they know what you're saying is accurate. But they will NEVER admit defeat. It's like telling someone water is wet but because they don't want to give you the satisfaction of being right, they'll argue that it's not forever and ever.

And I'm not sure what definition of the word they're using but a crackship is one that is implausible. Since when is a ship between two characters who smile at one another, who interact with one another on a regular basis, who are not currently in a relationship with someone, and who share the exact same language as other males ("sparked in his chest") considered a crackship? What would be disturbing about two single people, after moving on from their pasts, deciding to be together?

Really, E/riels have no where to go at this point because their arguments are all easily shot down by logic and canon. The only place that's left for them to go is a permanent state of harassing, bullying, and saying we're "stupid" and "lack reading comprehension". They're backed into a corner and they know it and that's why they're responding the way they do.

I'm attaching your second message to this one:

You're not a hypocrite because I don't think you were literally saying "it is unacceptable for you to engage with Anti's on Tik Tok. I think you were just pointing out that it never seems to get us anywhere but.... We all know we'll still continue to engage with Anti's at some point, despite how frustrating it can be. People can only take so much of seeing canon so horribly twisted before we're unable to stop ourselves from responding!

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Ok I kind of don’t understand how this is worse than going home and calling out her husband for being a cheater cheater pumpkin eater, but I’ve never had to choose btwn these two scenarios so what do I know lol.

Is she getting paid rn? Or is her “pay” basically coming off what she owes him for the car expenses?

😵‍💫

The amount of time and effort the jackass put into tormenting you is extra, almost desperate. You put that thought away.

Ya… hide it away and sharpen it occasionally… then pull it out and stab him 86 times when he least expects it!!! Like when he goes to the senate meeting where people usually don’t bring knives!!!

Hung from the wall is the kind of art that holds meaning only to those deluded in their own pretension

Me, super self conscious about my basic bitch taste in art: hahaha like what kind of art, for example???? 😅😅😅 asking for a friend 😬😬😬

(I have the following prints in my apartment, feel free to heap judgement upon me and/or eye roll at this “I like art!” starter pack lol 🥲: Warhol Campbell soup can AND banana, the Van Gogh cherry blossom painting, the drowning girl Lichtenstein, a fucking old timey looking map of Europe even tho I’m Canadian and it serves no practical purpose, that black&white photo of Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” 😫😫😫 I will draw the line somewhere though… idk like not quite at Banksy, but before it gets to Damien Hirst and definitely before it gets to Jackson Pollock 😅)

"Really fucking impressive, huh? Not a single Ikea screw in this place," he mocks.

U know what….if someone can assemble IKEA furniture from the instructional diagram that could basically be a visual captcha, the. it actually is very impressive!!!

Like, I EARNED this rickety ass shelf, bitch!!! I built it poorly with my own hands instead of dropping like $7k on some overpriced restoration hardware couch!!! 😤😤

labels listing designer names proudly

Lmao so Marc Jacobs isn’t rly designer but whenever I think of labels I think of this:

You back up and bend to untie the worn laces.

She has boots with laces 😯😯😯The heck?!? Is this the early 20th century or…

I know I just recently admitted to not having tied my shoes in probably over a decade (tie them once, double knot those suckers. Pull them off when you’re done, and jam your foot in the next time u need them 🥲) but BOOTS seem like something that should be zipper mandatory or u just step into them like moon boots.

Can u imagine having to tie laces for footwear that goes above your ankle every time you put them on??? That’s like, at least 2 shoes worth of laces per boot 😩

And if you like the aesthetic, fine. Put dummy laces on the front like they put fake pockets in women’s clothing, and then put the zipper on the side. There. Best of both worlds

My therapist: … would u describe this as a typical thought that runs through your head during the day? How often would u say these types of thoughts occur?

“let’s start… easy. I’m easy. Really. I’m sure you can handle me.”

The “beginner friendly” horse that’s about to buck u off and fucking trod over ur ankle like a nicotine fiend stubbing out a cig with their boot😓 (I witnessed this and it was horrifying lol)

snakeskin, tacky as fuck

Shit, I feel attacked 😂 😳😳. Is it the snakeskin material that’s tacky, or the print? Or both?

Idk haha I love the Python print stuff from Stella McCartney. I’ll stomp around in these fugly mofos all day 🐍🐍🐍

You swallow your disgust, just do it.

This should be Nike’s tagline to better market to those of us who hate exercising tbh

You slap his thigh as he doesn’t let up.

What a heel move 😡. Gonna generate a lot of heat with this…She tapped out of the submission manoeuvre and he kept going!! Where’s the ref huh???

BONUS CONTENT: (mini medium anatomy TED talk)

⚠️ warning, I discuss the penis and the structures within it, as well as what happens during an erection.

“Hey, don’t fucking break it.”

No one:

Me: so actually, it is possible to “break” a penis, and when this happens it’s called “penile fracture”!!(pls note, although the term “fracture” is used, this is not the same as breaking a bone.)

Think of the penis as an elongated maki roll. Now, if you took a transverse cross section of a California roll, you would see the crab, avocado and cucumber in the centre, surrounded by a sheath of seaweed, which is then surrounded by rice.

Similarly, a cross section of the penile shaft will show 3 main tube-like structures inside.

The smallest of these 3 is the corpus spongiosum. This is basically erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra (tube through which urine and semen exit the body)

The other 2 larger structures are the corpora cavernosa, which also contain erectile tissue. When a male becomes aroused, these two vessels will become engorged with blood, causing the penis to become erect - think of a garden hose becoming stiff when it has sufficient water pressure inside.

If the penis is suddenly bent or otherwise subjected to a sudden force, these vessels will burst under pressure much like a balloon overfilled with air. Yet, although one can bend/squeeze/fold a ballon without causing it to rupture (think: balloon animals), this is not possible with the penis.

The outer rubber of the balloon is elastic, so when forced is applied, the air can be displaced to other areas of the ballon, which will stretch (to a certain extent) to accommodate its new shape.

The penis, however, does not have the same elasticity. Remember the seaweed surrounding the filling of the California roll? The equivalent structure in the penis is called the tunica albuginea, and there are actually two layers that surround the corpora cavernosa. This covering is quite fibrous (eg a garden hose - it is stronger and less elastic than a balloon).

When the corpora cavernosa become engorged, they expand and “fill out” the inside of this covering; this is why the penis becomes erect (again, imagine the garden hose uncoiling and becoming a straight line when filled with water). Thus, the tunica albuginea is responsible for the rigidity of the penis during an erection.

Now, when a sudden force is applied, the corpora cavernosa will be subjected to increased pressure, but since the tunica albuginea surrounding these vessels is inelastic, it cannot stretch to ammodate, causing it to rupture/burst (sometimes with an audible “pop” sound). This is referred to as a ✨penile fracture✨

(I had to repeat anatomy one summer. 😵‍💫)

Unsolicited 8

Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, oral/noncon, coercion, cum, some untagged sexual and dark elements.

Wouldn’t mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜

Masterlist

You scoff as you look around. The car ride was long enough to make you think, to make you wonder. The amount of time and effort the jackass put into tormenting you is extra, almost desperate. You put that thought away.

Keep reading

[dxmoness]

Hello it's me again!!! Can i request Claudebwith a Reader as Shuli Von Neuschwanstein like personality and attitude towards everyone but the appearance is difference also a widower and has step children from her former husband please? (Bonus Reader is Grand Duchess)

“𝒜 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ ℐ 𝓃ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓇 ℯ𝓍𝓅ℯ𝒸𝓉ℯ𝒹.”

manhwa(s): Who Made Me A Princess

character(s): Claude de Alger Obelia

note: aight here I go again! If reader is ooc from Shuli's character just a quick reminder that I still do not know her well, and am still trying to understand! Also I'm sorry that this took so long! I had written a draft and was ready to post, but looking at it again I really didn't like it and it kinda was off track... So, yeah here's your request!

Name was the newly wed wife of the emperor, Claude de Alger Obelia. Never did it occur to her that it was such a struggle to be a royal's beloved until this very day.

The marriage was of course hidden as a secret relationship towards the two of them. There would be suspicion if the nobles as well as commoners found out that a duchess, whose husband had died years before, became the emperor's beloved.

Luckily for her, Claude had thought of it and held the wedding ceremony so that only the most trusted were invited.

This meant that he and her still lived in different homes. In the comfort of their own homes, they both seemed persistent in keeping this relationship such a secret.

Being a duchess was already stressful enough, even without the nobles hearing that she had gotten married.

She tried her very hardest to keep her will strong. To care for her children, love Claude and Athy, and do her duties as the duchess.

Athy had taken her quite well. The princess seemed quite intent in making her new mother comfortable. Which made Name smile all the time. Not only that, Athy took to her children well as well. The twins seemed to love being with the princess. So much that they had to be bribed out just to get them out of her room.

Taking care of Claude was no small feat. It took her every willpower not to panic at his movements. He always seemed to want affection from her, though he'd never admit it. Always wanting a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or even a head pat.

Most times while the kids played, she and Claude would have tea in the garden. During which she tried making conversation that only made Claude lull to sleep. She normally gave a giggle, seeing him sleeping.

When she was back home, she was duchess and not his wife. Which was stressful to say the least. There were always letters to be answered, papers to be finished for the estate's renovation plan, as well as invitations from nobles who were eager to see her mess up in one of their extravagant parties.

Days like these normally went by slowly, and she never did get used to it. Reading all those letters was a nuisance. Especially when all she was trying to do was do her duties and be a good example to her children.

"Mother?" Her head jerked up towards the door, revealing one of her beloved children.

"Yes?" She asked, taking a notice of her hoarse and tired voice.

"You should take a rest, you've been working all day.." Her son mumbled as he walked towards the desk, looking at the written letters sent by the council.

"Ah... I still have work to finish, dear." She gestured to the stacks of paperwork to be answered and checked. "I will go to bed when I finish, I promise." This caught in her throat a little for she knew it would take her all night to do this, and would most likely finish in the morning.

"You won't." This gave her quite a shock. Was it written all over her face? "You always say that, and always come to breakfast looking as if you haven't slept in weeks. Please sleep." He said, touching her shoulder. "Father won't be pleased when he hears that you have not been catching sleep." This was also very startling. Normally her children would call Claude by his name alone or his title. Never once had she heard them call him "Father".

"oh alright then." His mother said, looking up at her son. "I will sleep, just let me finish this one.." She exhaled in frustration. Why was Claude always the reason for her to do as she could.

Her son smiled at this, and sat on one of the cushioned lounges near her desk. "I'll stay here until you're done to ensure you're going to sleep this time."

Once the female finished, she was rushed to bed almost immediately by her son. "Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" Her tone was playful and her son just laughed at it, shaking his head.

"I don't see why I can't worry about you the way you do to us." He smiled, waving at Name, who was now stuck on the bed in a pile of pillows and blankets. "Good night, Mother!"

The next day, they were expected in the castle. "Good afternoon, Athy!" Name exclaims cheerfully as she hugged her. "How are you?"

Athy's eyes seemed to gleam in delight as she hugged her back. "I'm good! It's so good to see all of you present here!" She smiled, as she ran and hugged her other step-siblings.

It was truly a good thing. Normally it would be either Name would go or her children would, but today they had planned on going together.

Claude was asleep when they had arrived as Athy had told her. She had been given the job to rouse that sleeping beauty from his nap. "Claude." She muttered, noticing that tapping him was not working at all.

She knew she was gonna die for this, but she began shaking him. That failed as well. Trying other techniques on waking him, she finally gave up. Should she just wait for him to stir from his slumber?

She cursed under her breath as she racked her brain for other methods that could possibly work.

An idea that was most likely the worst of all her ideas came to mind. As she thought of it more, she did not notice that her husband was already awake and looking directly at her.

"You seem very serious, what are you thinking?" This made her snap back to reality to see those jeweled eyes staring at her own.

"Doesn't matter since you're wide awake now anyway." She shook her head, feeling embarrassed that she had been caught thinking of ways to wake him up.

"Hm. Am I?" A quick movement was produced as she found herself on the bed with him.

"Claude." She mumbled, flustered as she felt him nuzzle against her back. "The kids are waiting—" "So what? They can wait." Claude grumbled as he hugged her tightly as if she might die if he let go.

"This is the only time we're all together and here you are making us stay in bed?" She sighed. Sometimes this man was truly hard to deal with.

"Do you have a problem with my wishes?" His voice seemed intimidating. Did she touch a nerve? She calmed herself.

"Sorry." She apologized.

"Good. Now let me sleep." He shut his eyes, and fell asleep on her.

[krisingtons]

I wish you‘d write a fic where All Might is a villain. Bonus points if he still adopts Izuku

Huh, this is super different for me, and I've been looking for something different, so I'll try out a little snippet.

This is an AU where Toshinori never got One for All.

Dangerous

Izuku stared at All Smite, and the villain stared right back at him with a thoughtful frown. His figure appeared more shadow-like than human in the dark of the tunnel they found themselves in. All Smite twirled the blade of a dagger in between his fingers, something that seemed wholly unwise to Izuku. Yet again, the countless scars on the man's skin suggested he wasn't adverse to a few cuts.

"So... Are you going to kidnap me now or something?" Izuku asked, trying to calculate his options for retreat without moving his eyes.

"Why would I do that?" All Smite drawled.

"Because you're a villain, and that's the kind of thing villains do."

"Is it now?"

Before Izuku could jump into the various stories he'd heard about the villain before him, All Smite's eyes flicked to the ground as he flung the dagger in his hand. Izuku's eyes followed the trajectory to see the outline of the sludge villain's true form pinned to the ground right before the man hole where he had attempted to escape. All Smite bent down, picked up the dagger, used the butt of it to knock the slime villain unconscious, then put the dagger back into his hilt.

"If you're so certain of what villains do," All Smite said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes, "then tell me why I attacked another villain."

Izuku waited for All Smite to light the cigarette, watching as the tall, lean figure before him take a drag and puff some smoke into the tunnel.

"Villains work alone, and you're known for attacking whoever it is you feel like." All Smite let out a huff, glancing down the opposite end of the tunnel.

"Yeah, that's what everyone likes to think. That I'm just a dick who beats the shit out of people for no reason." He turned back to Izuku. "What about you? Most kids your age are eager to show off what amazing heroes they'll be, using their quirk left and right. What's your deal, then?" All Smite asked with disdain thick in his voice, which Izuku didn't understand.

"Oh, I can't be a hero," Izuku said quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because... I'm quirkless."

Izuku looked up again. A shiver went down his spine at the intense blue eyes holding his gaze. It occurred to him in that moment that perhaps he shouldn't have admitted to being so vulnerable in front of one of the most famous villains in all of Japan. Yet again, if All Smite had wanted to hurt him, he probably would have done it by now.

"Quirkless, huh?" the man said as he dropped the butt of his cigarette to the ground and pressed into it with his boot. "You shouldn't go around admitting that to just anyone, you know. It's dangerous out there for quirkless people like us."

"Yeah, I... Wait, what?"

All Smite smirked at Izuku as Izuku tried to process what the villain just revealed. He had studied many heroes and villains alike to understand their quirks, and there was a lot of speculation about All Smite's, but never did Izuku imagine...

"Come on, kid," All Smite said, cocking his head to the side indicating Izuku should follow. "You look like you have some villains in your own life. Tell me about them. Maybe we can help each other out."

Izuku wasn't sure what to think of the offer. Yet again, he had never met anyone quirkless before, and certainly not anyone who could hold their own in a fight the way All Smite could. So, he tentatively followed.

"What's your name by the way, young man?" All Smite asked.

"Uh... Midoriya. Izuku Midoriya."

"Well, Midoriya, go ahead and call me Yagi. People in these parts don't take too kindly to the name All Smite."

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol.5 Sakamaki Kanato [TRACK 5 + EPILOGUE]

Original title: 窓の向こうに & エピローグ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 5 Sakamaki Kanato

Audio: Here (Huge thank you to @filthyhelplessworld​ for providing the audio!)

Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki

Translator’s note: Oh my gosh. What a rollercoaster of emotions! As much as I really enjoyed the final track because I’m a sucker for these kind of sappy romantic plots, I do think that it almost felt...out of place? I found myself thinking ‘Is this really Kanato!?’ more than once. :p It’s a welcome change in my book, but I can imagine that people who love Kanato, might feel a little scammed because this is almost an entirely different character? I think Rejet might have realized this as well because then you start listening to the bonus track/epilogue and it’s just like SURPRISE! Little bastard is back. >3 I guess this confirms that the secret track doesn’t necessarily take place ‘after’ the main story, but gives you some extra content from a random point within the overall Daylight timeline.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 5: On the Other Side of the Window

( Afterwards, thanks to Reiji’s successful treatment, I did not have to lose the person most precious to me. According to his explanation, the potion she ingested was one of Reiji’s works-in-progress. While she must have been convinced it would kill her, the truth is somewhat different. The drug will stop the person's heart as long as they wish to die. On the other hand, once they regain their will to live, their wish will be granted. It was a drug capable of manipulating life and death. 

Once he finished with this explanation, Reiji explained that he had been looking for a test subject and eventually settled on her after she came to him seeking advice regarding the abnormal behavior of her heart. I assume I must have happened to witness that exact conversation back then. )

*Rustle*

[01:04] “You must not. Stay in bed, okay? If you want a drink I will go get you something and feed it to you.”

You shake your head.

“If you’re not thirsty, then what’s the matter? You can tell me anything.”

You explain.

“Get mad at you? And why would I do that? I’m so happy to see you alive…! I want to do anything for your sake, you know?”

You smile and tell him you just want the two of you to be together. 

“...! All I need to do...is stay by your side? ...I-I feel the same way!”

He grabs your hand.

[01:53] “Honestly, the fact I’m able to hold your hand again like this...It feels like a miracle to me. I truly...truly am so relieved. I think I finally realize how valuable you and your life are. ー And what it means to have to part one day. ...As well as that it is something unavoidable.”

You frown.

[02:32] “I didn’t want to accept that all humans are fated to die one day. However, now I realize just how selfish that was of me. Death is something which occurs. I will accept that. No matter how sad that may be, right now, all I want to do is make sure that every second we spend together up until that day is worth it. I’ll be there with you, the whole way through.”

You thank him.

“You warned me from the very beginning. ...I’m so sorry I refused to listen to your words. Can you...forgive me?”

You nod.

[03:32] “Hah...I’m so glad…”

You smile at him. 

“You will...accept me as well, won’t you?”

You expose your neck.

“Since you exposed your neck, you basically...Hah. I guess you can tell that I’m craving your blood even during a time like this, huh?”

You nod.

[04:10] “The stronger my feelings for you grow, the more thirsty I become. However, I don’t want that. I no longer want to make you suffー”

You embrace him.

“...When you hug me this close, I won’t be able to stop myself…”

You tell him he doesn’t need to.

“...You will accept me regardless, won’t you?”

*Rustle*

[04:54] “Please rest assured. I will show to you that I’m capable of suppressing these urges, even if it means having to hurt myself.”

You tell Kanato you don’t want to see him hurt. 

“So please...Can you close your eyes for a couple of seconds?”

You close your eyes.

“...Mmh.”

*Smooch*

“This is all I need.”

You hesitate. 

[05:34] “No, it is. I always feel a little sad that I can’t show you just how fulfilled my heart feels right now. ...Above all, right now...Mm.”

*Smooch*

“I want to continue kissing you right now. I feel like that will satisfy me more than sucking your blood. ...Is that too much to ask?”

You give him permission.

“Mm…”

*Smooch*

[06:18] “This is the first time I realized that there’s something other than blood capable of making me feel satisfied.”

*Chirp chirp*

“...Right, there is something I want to show you. I will carry you to the window sill, okay?”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Come on, hang on tight.”

*Rustle*

Kanato carries you to the window.

[06:56] “Listen...I’ve been thinking. This whole time, you’ve always accepted me ー and the fact I’m a Vampire. Therefore, it’s my turn now.”

He opens the curtains.

*Rattle*

*Chirp chirp chip*

He opens the window and breathes in the air.

[07:23] “This is...the world you’ve lived in. The sky...is so very blue. ーー It’s beautiful. I’ve never felt this way my whole life. You are the one who taught me this. Thank you.”

*Smooch*

[08:01] “Say? Let’s be together forever, okay? ...Even if your life comes to an end one day, I promise you I will be there by your side when you take your final breath. I will watch over you until the bitter end, without looking away even once. I don’t mind being left behind by myself. As long as I can cry...with you in mind. Mm…”

*Smooch*

Track 6: Epilogue

*Cling*

Kanato enters the torture chamber.

*Creaaaaak*

*Rustle*

“Hahn...Nn…”

*Cling cling*

*Gulp*

“...Keep still!”

You protest.

[00:41] “Fufu...You’re only making it hurt more by fighting back. All I need to do is suck your blood after all. It’s so obvious you just want to drown in the pleasure as well. Fufufu...You’re so easy to read. Mm…”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Hahn…However...I wonder how long that obedience will last? Why don’t we take this opportunity to put it to the test?”

You open your mouth to protest. 

[01:24] “Don’t talk. Who gave you permission to speak? From now on, you should only do exactly as I say. If you understand...Let’s see...I suppose I’ll have you get on all fours on the floor to start out?”

You hesitate.

“Come on, hurry up!”

*Cling cling*

[01:56] “Hahaha...What a lovely view...Ah, why don’t you show me exactly where you want my fangs?”

*Cling*

“Your throat? That’s all? ...You should be a little more honest with yourself. It should help you feel better as well. ...Come on!”

You confess. 

[02:31] “Hah...Heeh~? Now that’s rather bold of you. I am somewhat surprised you hold such desires in your heart. You are more greedy than I thought.”

You cover your face in shame.

“Don’t hide it! ...I honestly do not dislike seeing you like this.”

Kanato approaches.

“Well then…”

*Rustle*

[03:04] “Let me give you your reward.”

He bites you.

*Sluuuurp*

“Fufu...~”

ーー THE END ーー

[nat-20s]

 Part 8 of the wonderful! Au: the boys answer some questions! Up to you to decide if they actually clarify anything!

(also on AO3)

~*~

Martin: Hey everyone! I know what some of you are thinking right now: it's not Tuesday, why is this episode in my feed? I know significantly more of you are thinking: I don't consistently keep up with podcast releases, how much free time do you think I have, buddy? To answer your queries: this is a bonus episode! We're answering listener questions to clear the air and/or have fun. Also, I don't know, around 20 to 40 minutes a week, as that is the average amount of time per episode? Maybe during your commute? My husband's omnipotence has been gone for five years, we just have to guess at that sort of thing now.

Jon: For legal reasons, that last statement was a joke. In fact, to cover all of our bases, we do not guarantee that any of our responses are genuine.

Martin: Just because we say we'll answer things doesn't mean we'll answer truthfully. Though, honestly, I think we might make it more enjoyable if we do tell the truth. Like, I don't necessarily have a fun lie prepared for our first question from konspiracyking97: "What's their fuckin deal anyway?"

Jon: Is this referring to the oblique references  we've made about being from a parallel reality and only ending up here as a consequence of ending one apocalypse and potentially starting another or the general premise of the show?

Martin: Oh, it's gotta be general premise, yeah?

Jon: In that case, I'm Jon, the other voice you're hearing is Martin, we're married, and we talk about things that are..nice? Good? Usually generally but occasionally rather specifically pleasant.

Martin: That pretty much covers it. It's not a complicated show. Uhh, next question comes from Shane: are either or both of you aliens? Nope!

Jon: Well..

Martin: No. We are 100% human people from Earth, we are under no definition extraterrestrial.

Jon: Eh..

Martin: Okay, first off, I know the tone of that 'eh' and "not fully human" is not synonymous with alien, so even if 100% is being a bit generous, we're still from the same planet as our listeners.

Jon:..

Jon: But. We sort of aren't though. Technically speaking.

Martin: No no no no no. I don't care if it's parallel, Earth is Earth is Earth, regardless of whatever nonsense metaphysics might be occurring.

Jon: So what you're saying is that if you got sucked through a portal and landed on an Earth where dinosaurs were still the predominant species, you wouldn't consider yourself to be an alien?

Martin: Nope!

Jon: I'm certain that they would consider you an alien. All of their mammals are probably shrew sized.

Martin: Sounds like a them problem.

Jon: Sounds like a-?! You know what, no, this will be an off the record debate, for now, I suppose I concede that the two Earths and our physiologies are similar enough that we might, maybe, not count as aliens.

Martin: Thank you. Anyway, our next question is from anonymous, and asks, "Is all of this an ARG?"

Jon: A whomst?

Martin: Alternate reality game. It's a method of storytelling that's interactive with audience, and usually has, I dunno, a certain suspension of disbelief to it where it pretends to be something actually happening in the real world until a dramatic reveal. A lot times it was used as a marketing gimmick, but others have done it just for fun. I can show you some examples after the show?

Jon: So it's in essence a more involved creepypasta?

Martin, delighted: Aw, babe, I'm never going to have a handle on what pop culture you are and aren't aware of, huh?

Jon: We were born within a year of each other, and I've told you that I was a deeply morbid teenager, you should probably be able to intuit some of things, love.

Martin: This coming from a man who has yet to see "It's a Wonderful Life", but has seen every film in the "Banjo Cannibals" franchise, including the Easter special. Jesus doesn't exist in the Banjo Cannibals universe, why does it have an Easter special?

Jon: The movies are rather shoddily translated from Russian, so I'm fairly certain the Easter component of that special was invented wholesale in the English version.

Martin: You say that like it answers more questions than it raises.

Jon: Yes, because it does. Oh, and to answer anonymous's question, no, this isn't an ARG. From my understanding of it, if it were, it'd be a poorly constructed one, as there's no real game element to any of this.

Martin: Hmm. Well, sometimes the game component is just trying to figure out what's going on with the story, or if there's any deeper content, and people are definitely doing that with this show.

Jon: That's not by design though. It's more a side effect of us having poor brain to mouth filters, I'd say.

Martin: Harsh, but fair. Oh, this next one is from Zac, no K, who asks, "Are you two actually even married?"

Jon, flat: We are, but it's under false names because this whole thing is an elaborate insurance scam.

Jon, incredulous: Yes, obviously, we're married. What did you hear in this podcast that would make you wonder otherwise, and how do we rectify it?

Martin: Clearly we need to up our quota for how "disgustingly in love" and "horrifically sappy" we are per episode. Which segues nicely into the next question from Gwen, "What's your favourite wonderful thing you've brought so far?" My answer: my husband. He's kind of my favourite in most things, you know?

Jon: Boooooo

Martin: Why, what's your favourite thing?

[Jon reluctantly sighs]

Jon, indulgent: being married.

Martin: A: serves you right for trying to pretend you're the less horrifically sappy and romantic one even though earlier today someone put a love note in the lunch they packed for me-

Jon:- Lies and slander! I have never, in my life, done that, even once.

Martin: Oh, sure, not even once. And you definitely don't reserve the lilac sticky notes specifically for my lunches because you know I like the colour. 

Jon: I..I don't.. you're rather ruining my image here.

[Martin snorts]

Martin: Can't have the audience think that you are, on occasion, an incredibly doting husband-

Jon: -A title I would argue we both share-

Martin: - which is obviously why, even with it being your favourite thing you've brought, being married to me is just a small wonder-

Jon, audibly rolling his eyes: As I already explained-

[A Pause}

Jon: Actually, you're right-

Martin: Wait-

Jon:- I really should have brought it as a larger wonder-

Martin: Wait-

Jon: though I should warn you, I think I'd have far too much material for just one little segment-

Martin: No no no no no-

Jon:- In fact, I think I might have too much material for just one little episode-

Martin: Joo-oon-

Jon: I might have to do a whole series! Where would I even start? I mean I could talk about how every day I get to watch the early morning sun highlight your curls when I get up first, or hear you quietly humming and shuffling around the kitchen when you do, or I could talk about how the lunch notes only started in the first place as retaliation to the notes you would leave on the mirror for me to find, or how every time I get to see you at ease in a way that you aren't with anyone else, it takes my breath away, or I could talk about how cute I find the lines between your eyebrows that you only get when you're thinking something petty, but you know it's petty so you don't want to say anything-

Martin: Okay, okay, Christ, I give !up I surrender, and will cease my teasing on this particular topic.

Jon, probably making the :3 face: You don't have to stop. I mean, I could also discuss how very, very attractive I find your voice when it takes on a teasi-mmph!

[There's a pleased hum, then a pause.]

[The audio quality is slightly changed, as if the recording has been stopped and then started later]

Martin, giddy: Uh, heh, anyway, Eric asked what the least favourite thing we've brought was, and because of Jon's attempt to embarrass me live-

Jon, overlapping: It's definitely not live-

Martin:- on air, I'm gonna say it's my husband.

[Jon scoffs]

Jon : If the past few minutes are any sort of indication, I'm going to go ahead and saying that you are lying.

Martin, sighing contentedly: Maybe a bit, but how was I supposed to resist when your indigance gives you that adorable little nose scrunch? In reality, my least favourite thing was probably, um, mini golf? Which, I still don't think is inherently bad, definitely superior to regular golf, but when it's the only thing a next door two year old wants to do with you, the charm begins to wear off a bit.

Jon: Wow. A rather scathing review of a toddler.

Martin: Not so much a scathing review of a toddler as it's a scathing review of minigolf's inability to keep its appeal after the third time in the same week.

Jon: Mmm, the sound effects rather quickly go from part of the atmosphere to part of the irritation, don't they?

Martin: So what's your least favorite thing we've covered here?

Jon: Oh, love, I'm not going to pretend to have nearly enough memory of what we've covered so far to have a least favorite.

Martin: Really? Nothing that you regret or rescind?

Jon: Well, regret, certainly. It was one of the weeks where you went first, and your second item was mutual aid funds, and what they can do for marginalized communities, and I had to follow it with fucking Slapchop.

Martin, poorly suppressing laughter: In your defence, Slapchop, or whatever offbrand we have, is pretty useful, especially when either your scar or my arthritis is acting up.

Jon: I'm still not convinced you didn't somehow see my notes for the recording and decided you get revenge for the first year that we knew each other.

Martin, no longer suppressing his laughter: Yep, you got me! This marriage wasn't an act of insurance fraud, but it was a near decade long con to humiliate you on a podcast that about twenty people listen to. I'll draft up the divorce papers immediately, and then we can finally go our separate ways. 

Jon: I'm glad you've at last admitted it. Such a weight off of my shoulders. Goodbye forever then.

Martin: Right.

Jon: Right.

[A beat.]

[There's a pfft from one of them, before both dissolve into giggles that lasts a good 30 seconds.]

Martin, slightly out of breath: I can't believe we're the kind of people that talk this much about speciality kitchen gadgets.

Jon: Sorry about that.

Martin: God, don't apologize. I'm, like, deliriously happy with our varying degrees of useful cooking ware filled life. If you had told 25 year old me that one day he'd be debating the merits of getting a tortilla press with his husband, he'd have wept, I tell you.

Jon: Funny, if you told 25 year old me the same thing, he would've said "You don't know the future,piss off" and then quietly have a bit of a panic at 3 am that night.

Martin: I bet you were insufferable in your mid-twenties.

Jon: First of all, who isn't, secondly, I was fresh out of Oxford, and third, I was insufferable in my late twenties, as you can attest to, and I'm insufferable now, as you can further attest to, so extrapolation would indicate that, yes, I was insufferable back then.

Martin: Probably a different kind of insufferable, though.

Jon: There are different kinds?

Martin: Of course! You used to be "prick boss" insufferable and now you're "smug in a way that I can't admit I find hot or it will go straight to your head" insufferable.

Jon, in the aforementioned smug tone: Oh, really?

Martin: See, see! Straight to your head.

Jon: Well straight is probably the wrong descriptor-

Martin: Oof, 4 out of 10 joke, babe.

Jon: That would be a far more convincing rating if you weren't grinning right now.

Martin: It's a genuine review, I'm just well known to be a sucker.

Jon: You and me both, darling.

Martin: Okay, if you're pulling out darling, you're clearly in too giddy of a mood to be focused on recording. Last question, from Jess, "You two mentioned meeting at work, but how did you actually end up together?" That's easy, Jon pulled me out of a hell dimension and then we went on the lam together to Scotland.

Jon: If that's not the way to tell a cute boy you like him, I don't know what is.

Martin: All right, that wraps up this bonus episode, and as the old saying goes, hiding from murderers in a cottage is more conducive to romance than suggesting you gouge out your eyes together.

Jon, cut off: Hey-!

[kreidenprinz-imagines]

Hello Kreid, as a male who's in the spectrum of autism, I was wondering if I could request a Albedo X Autistic Male Reader, where Albedo comforts him and protects him from getting hurt?

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ/ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: Albedo/Male Reader

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Albedo has taken quite a liking to you, despite your differences there's always room to grow and care for.

ᴀ/ɴ: I firstly want to thank you for requesting!

Now to anyone else who may come as to my way of displaying an autistic person here's my disclaimer; I grew up with an autistic person who I WENT OUT with and I also dated another autistic person. So most of the potrayal will be based on this two people. As bonus information: one had more difficulties than the other like ADHD so please understand that I can only potray what I seen and experienced with my former s/o.

*✧･ﾟ:͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•*✧･ﾟ:

Albedo stirred the food as Y/N looked around near the Alchemist's lab site. The two looked in the direction of the ruckus that began to cause a disturbance. Albedo quickly left the cooking pot to stand besides Y/N. "What was that?" He looked at the Chief of Investigation as both stared toward the direction in silence for a bit.

"It seems some Hilichurls may had pick on someone who wasn't their side." Albedo's eyes trailed up as the two slightly stepped back to look at the same thing. "Is it going to cause an avalanche?"

"Its quite possible but let's see what occurs." Albedo keeps his footsteps low, sword in hand and the other hand ready to summon the Geo elemental flower he possessed. Behind him followed Y/N, today they had only came to Dragonspine to study some behaviors but had not expected to be interrupted in their downtime.

The sight was puzzling. Albedo staring back at Albedo. Y/N looked at the two as the one who had stayed closely with Y/N raised a hand defensively. "Ah, I wasn't expecting to see two Albedos." He said with a chuckle before it downed on him. Y/N stepped back as Albedo's copy charged forth only for swords to clash.

The sound of the clashing swords only seemed to get louder and louder. Overwhelmed, Y/N looked at the top of the mountain. Albedo and the replica looked at the falling snow before Albedo quickly turned as Y/N became unmoving.

"Y/N!" Albedo quickly pushed Y/N out of harms way as the snow that fell with the avalanche submerged the replica and Albedo.

Y/N peered at the edge once the avalanche settled, yelling Albedo's name as he looked around. A figure slowly came up. "Lend me your hand, Y/N!"

Y/N looked around, cautiously before offering his hand toward Albedo and pulling him up. He helped Albedo clear off the snow clearly still on him before turning his back toward him as to get a blanket. Once grabbed, he turned to watch as 'Albedo' had intended to slash him but had stopped at the stabbed sword that pierced his body. "You...How could you..."

Albedo sighed. "Are you okay?"

Albedo didn't loosened from his worries. He checked on you multiple times, despite the shock you faced, he wanted to ensure you felt alright. Gathered in blankets around the fireplace with the security of Albedo felt relieving. The explanation of the occurrence wasn't something you had expected but a more sense of relief seemed to clear up as time went on. "So... 'Rubedo' wanted to ensure that I wouldn't say anything." You asked again, to clarify.

"That's correct, I have covered Rubedo's tracks but seems like he thought you were here to get rid of him. Well, he should be okay now." Albedo looked at Rubedo laying down, a blanket over him per request from you despite the lack of feeling between warmth and cold weather.

"Thank you..." You leaned for a kiss on his cheek, his hand slightly giving your shoulder a temporary squeeze