#Trophy feels bad after seeing him like this so it could lead to him thinking over his actions

[strawberrylemonchai]

it's for the best...

Guys I'm coping so hard. Bro I just want them to make up 😭

[xo100]

Shifting gears - LN4

*:･ﾟ Summary: Lando and you, childhood best friends, discover a deeper connection during a drive in his new Porsche. After discussing his playboy image, the conversation takes an unexpected turn, leading to a realization of long-hidden feelings and shifting your relationship from friendship to something more romantic and intimate.

*:･ﾟ Word count: 2250

masterlist / community / request

౨ৎ

The afternoon sun filtered through the tall trees that lined the road, casting dappled shadows over the sleek Porsche as it cruised effortlessly along the winding asphalt. The roar of the engine was almost hypnotic, a perfect blend of power and control, much like its owner. Lando Norris gripped the steering wheel with ease, his fingers drumming absentmindedly as he glanced over at his passenger—his best friend, someone who had been by his side since they were kids.

While Lando had built a reputation for himself as a playboy—charming, confident, and always with a new girl on his arm—you were the complete opposite. Introverted, quiet, and shy. But that’s what made your friendship so special. You balanced each other out.

Today, though, something felt a little different. Maybe it was the car, the air of freedom and luxury it represented, or maybe it was the conversation you were having that shifted the mood. Either way, the usual playful banter between the two of you had taken a slightly more serious turn.

“So, who’s the flavor of the week this time?” you teased, your voice light but carrying a hint of genuine curiosity as you shifted in the leather seat.

Lando chuckled, a low, throaty sound that seemed to vibrate through the car. “Not sure yet. You know how it is,” he replied with a smirk, his eyes never leaving the road.

You rolled your eyes, but there was no judgment in your expression. “Yeah, I know exactly how it is. You with some random girl, one night, maybe two if she’s lucky, and then you’re off to the next. It’s like you’re collecting trophies or something.”

He shrugged. “It’s not that bad. I’m just… having fun. Life’s short, you know?”

You snorted softly. “For you, maybe. I can’t even imagine doing that. Just… being with someone like that, without any meaning. Doesn’t it get old?”

Lando raised an eyebrow, finally glancing over at you. “Why, you thinking about trying it out?” he teased, though his tone carried a hint of something deeper, something that wasn’t quite a joke.

Your face flushed, and you quickly turned to look out the window, trying to hide the sudden rush of heat that crept up your neck. “No,” you muttered, “I’m not like that.”

Silence filled the car for a moment, the hum of the engine the only sound between you. Lando’s eyes flickered back to the road, but his expression was thoughtful now, less playful than usual. “You don’t always have to be so… sweet, you know,” he said after a beat, his voice quieter, almost serious. “It’s okay to let loose sometimes. It doesn’t make you any less… you.”

You blinked, surprised by his words. He wasn’t wrong; you were the “sweet” one, the one who always cared too much, worried too much. But hearing Lando say it so bluntly made you feel strangely vulnerable, like he could see right through your carefully crafted exterior.

“Yeah, well, I’m not the one who’s constantly in the tabloids for having one-night stands with half the population,” you shot back, the words harsher than you intended.

Lando laughed, though there was a sharpness to it. “Touché. But you know, it’s not as glamorous as people make it out to be.”

You frowned, turning back to him. “What do you mean? You always seem like you’re having the time of your life.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it’s fun, I guess. But it’s not… real, you know? It’s just… I don’t know. It’s easy. I’m used to it.”

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. You had never heard him talk like this before, so openly about the lifestyle he had embraced. It wasn’t like him to get deep, not about this.

“Then why do you keep doing it?” you asked quietly.

Lando glanced at you, and for the first time, you saw something different in his eyes. Something almost… uncertain.

“Because it’s easier than thinking about what I really want,” he said softly.

The words hung in the air between you, heavy and loaded with meaning. You swallowed, unsure of how to respond, your heart suddenly racing for reasons you couldn’t quite explain.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Lando didn’t answer right away. Instead, he pulled the car off the main road, slowing down as he drove into a secluded spot overlooking a lake. The car came to a stop, and the silence that followed was deafening. He turned off the engine, and the two of you sat there, the tension in the air thick and palpable.

“I mean…” Lando began, his voice low, almost hesitant, “I’ve been with a lot of girls, sure. But none of them were ever you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. “What?”

He turned in his seat to face you fully, his expression serious now, his usual cocky smirk replaced by something softer, more vulnerable. “You. You’re different. You always have been.”

Your mind was racing, trying to process his words, but all you could focus on was the way he was looking at you—like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.

“But we’re… friends,” you stammered, your voice shaky.

“I know,” Lando said, his gaze never leaving yours. “And that’s why I’ve never said anything before. But… I don’t know. Lately, it feels like things have changed. Like maybe we’ve changed.”

You didn’t know what to say. You had always been close to Lando, but you had never let yourself think about him like that. He was Lando—the charismatic, carefree playboy who was always with someone else. But now, sitting here in the quiet of his car, it was hard to ignore the way your heart was pounding in your chest, the way his words made your stomach flip.

“I…” you started, but you didn’t know how to finish the sentence.

Lando leaned closer, his hand coming to rest on the edge of your seat, his eyes searching yours for some kind of answer, some kind of sign. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “And I will.”

But you didn’t tell him to stop. You couldn’t.

Instead, you leaned in, closing the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a soft, tentative kiss. It was slow at first, hesitant, like neither of you were quite sure if this was really happening. But then something shifted. The kiss deepened, and suddenly it was like everything that had been simmering under the surface for years had finally come to a head.

Lando’s hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours with more urgency. You could feel the heat of his body, the way his heart was racing just as fast as yours. It was intoxicating, overwhelming, and before you knew it, you were climbing over the center console, straddling him as the kiss grew more heated, more desperate.

You had never done anything like this before—never been this close to someone, never let yourself be this vulnerable. But with Lando, it felt… right. Like this was exactly where you were meant to be.

His hands roamed over your body, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You gasped as he kissed a trail down your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “Lando,” you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of nerves and anticipation.

He pulled back slightly, his eyes dark and intense as he looked up at you. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice rough, barely controlled.

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “Yes.”

The next few moments were a blur of tangled limbs and heated kisses, the world outside the car fading into nothing as you lost yourself in him, in the way he made you feel. It wasn’t rushed or careless like you had imagined his one-night stands might be. It was slow, deliberate, and full of a kind of intensity you had never experienced before.

And then, just as quickly as it had started, it was over. You found yourself lying in his arms, the cool leather of the seat beneath you, your breathing still ragged as you tried to make sense of what had just happened.

Lando’s hand stroked your hair gently, his touch comforting, grounding. “You okay?” he asked softly, his voice full of concern.

You nodded, snuggling closer to him. “Yeah,” you whispered. “I’m okay.”

For a long time, neither of you spoke. The sun had begun to set, casting a golden glow over the lake, and the quiet between you was no longer filled with tension, but with a kind of contentment you hadn’t expected.

Finally, Lando broke the silence. “You know… I didn’t plan for this to happen,” he said, his voice low. “But I’m glad it did.”

You smiled softly, your fingers tracing lazy circles on his chest. “Me too.”

He shifted beneath you, turning slightly so he could look down at you. “So… what does this mean for us?”

You thought about it for a moment, your mind still spinning from everything that had just happened. But when you looked up into his eyes, you knew the answer.

“It means… maybe we’ve changed,” you said quietly, echoing his words from earlier.

Lando smiled, a real, genuine smile that made your heart

skip a beat. He cupped your cheek gently, his thumb brushing against your skin in a way that made your stomach flutter.

“I guess we have,” he murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. It was such a simple gesture, but it held a weight of everything unspoken between you. Years of friendship, of shared memories, of teasing and laughter—all of it led to this moment. The line you’d been dancing on for so long had finally blurred, and neither of you could deny it anymore.

For a while, you just lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, basking in the comfortable silence that followed. The world outside the car seemed distant, irrelevant. It was just you and Lando now, and that felt right.

Eventually, though, the practicalities of life started to creep back in, and you couldn’t ignore them forever. You shifted slightly, sitting up in the seat, the reality of what had just happened slowly settling in.

“So… what now?” you asked, your voice quiet, as if speaking too loudly would break the fragile newness of what had just formed between you.

Lando sat up too, his hand still resting on your thigh, a small, reassuring gesture. He looked at you thoughtfully, as if considering his words carefully. “I don’t want this to be some random, one-time thing,” he said slowly, his voice steady. “You’re not like those girls. You’ve never been. I don’t want to screw this up.”

You smiled softly, feeling your heart swell at his words. “I don’t want that either,” you admitted. “I’ve never thought of us like this before… but now, I can’t imagine it any other way.”

His eyes softened as he leaned in to kiss you again, this time slower, more tender, as if sealing the promise between you. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm on your lips.

“I’ve liked you for a long time,” Lando confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just didn’t know how to say it.”

Your heart skipped again, but this time it wasn’t from nerves—it was from the overwhelming realization that you felt the same way. Maybe you’d always felt it, buried somewhere deep down.

“I think I’ve always liked you too,” you admitted, your cheeks flushing slightly at the confession.

Lando’s smile widened, his eyes lighting up with a mixture of relief and joy. “Good. Because I’m not letting you get away now.”

You laughed, the sound light and easy, and for the first time in a long while, everything felt simple. No more games, no more hiding behind jokes or casual flings. Just you and Lando, finally facing what had been there all along.

The sun was almost set now, casting a soft orange glow over the lake as the two of you sat there, side by side, in the quiet of the Porsche. The future felt uncertain in the best way possible, full of possibilities and new beginnings.

Lando gave your hand a squeeze, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You know,” he said, a teasing glint in his eye, “I think this Porsche might be my new lucky charm.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. “Of course you would say that.”

He grinned, that familiar cocky smile back in full force, but this time it was softened by something else—something deeper, more real. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I’ll take you home. But tomorrow… maybe we can go for another drive?”

You nodded, your heart light as you leaned over to kiss him one more time. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

As Lando started the car and pulled back onto the road, you couldn’t help but glance over at him, your best friend—your something more now—and feel grateful for every twist and turn that had led you here.

And as the Porsche sped down the road, the two of you heading into an uncertain future, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was only the beginning.

౨ৎ

*:･ﾟ Notes; thank you for reading, love’s! Hope you all enjoyed it! If there is something wrong or need to be edited, let me know!

[its-all-papaya]

landoscar + 41? 🧡 maybe fake/pr-dating-turned-real-dating coded, so maybe even + 56? like, they realize the fake wasn't that fake anymore 🙈 (insert i am in love are you in love audio here)

they are both in love, anon.

(because i found it kind of impossible to explain without adding sooo much exposition... oscar is not a driver. he's just... a guy. that mclaren found. to date lando. suspend your disbelief, idk)

send me a ship and a number and i will write a kiss

41. to pretend (or is it?) | landoscar | 1.2k

Lando is in over his head. His aching, pounding, hurts-so-bad-it’s-making-him nauseous head. If he’d known one throw-away trip to the club in Miami was going to complicate his life so irreparably, he would have tucked his P1 trophy into bed next to him and gone straight to sleep like a good, boring boy. Instead, he’d gotten catastrophically fucked-up on any number of things he doesn’t remember and tossed himself dick-first into an entire publicity nightmare. That’s the worst part, probably: Lando doesn’t even remember. He remembers taking shots with Max and Danny and he remembers – barely – stumbling to the bathroom, and the next discernable point on that mental timeline comes at approximately 6:45 a.m., when he’d woken up to go vomit and found his lock screen so full of notifications that it’d made him forget to wonder where the man he’d gone to bed next to had pissed off to so early.

Since then, every minute of Lando’s life not spent in the car has felt full wall-to-wall with interviews, and meetings with crisis management, and saying “I’d prefer not to comment on that” so many times he hears it on repeat like an ear worm when he’s falling asleep at night. And also Oscar. There’s been a lot of Oscar.

He’s waiting in the lobby of McLaren’s hospitality when Lando arrives down from his driver’s room after qualifying in Brazil. Lando wonders how he got in, if their bosses have finally decided he’s trustworthy enough to walk around unchaperoned. It’s funny that he ever didn’t have a pass, actually; he is technically a McLaren employee. Probably. Lando thinks he gets paid. They’ve never talked about the specifics.

Either way, however he got there, Oscar is by himself in the lobby, leaned back in a chair, thumbing at his phone. He looks up when he senses Lando’s arrival, and Lando must look even more pathetic than he even thought, because Oscar’s face immediately goes soft with concern and he leaps up to take Lando’s bag off his hands.

“Hey, you alright?” he asks. He slides the backpack onto his own shoulders and then steadies a hand in the middle of Lando’s back, thumb tracing comforting little circles near his spine.

Lando could lie, but there’s not really any point to that, so he lets his face fold into the grimace it wants to be in and presses his thumb between his eyebrows.

“Head’s killing me,” he says. It comes out weak.

Oscar makes a sad little sound in sympathy, and the palm on Lando’s back shifts to his side so Oscar can tug him closer. Lando doesn’t have the energy to fight Oscar on these things at the best of times lately, so he’s definitely not going to when he’s exhausted and sick with the pain behind his eyes. Even though there’s really nobody around to see them.

“Let’s get you back to the hotel, then,” Oscar says, and Lando has never agreed to anything faster.

Oscar leads the way out of hospitality and through the paddock, fingers linked securely between Lando’s own. It’s baffling that he’s already been around this circus long enough to know the way without help. Nice, though, because Lando’s not really in a state to be of any.

They run into a few people along the way – fans or sponsors or employees. Lando doesn’t get the chance to tell which are which, because every time somebody new greets them, Oscar’s fingers tighten around his own and he talks the both of them cleverly out of the conversation before Lando can even consider what he would say if he was left to his own devices. It feels nearly impossible that less than six months ago, Oscar could barely say two words to Lando without being directly asked to.

“Oscar!” he hears as they’re nearing the exit, and they’re so close to relative quiet that Lando can’t help but groan about it. Oscar squeezes his hand again like an apology as he turns to address whoever it is.

"What’s up?” Oscar asks. When Lando lifts his eyes from the pavement, it’s Max stood before them. Both of his hands are hooked in the straps of his backpack and his chest is heaving just a little, like he’d jogged to catch them up.

“You’ll of course be at the race tomorrow?” Max asks. Lando’s not sure where this conversation is going, but he’s pretty sure it doesn’t have to happen right now. He hopes the look he’s giving Max is sufficiently irritated.

It must do the job, because Max’s eyes brighten and he says “Not pleased about that, Lando?”

Oscar’s hand goes from Lando’s palm to his back again, quick, and before Lando can open his mouth, Oscar’s saying, “He doesn’t feel good.”

“Ah,” Max says. Lando can’t figure out the look he’s being given.

“The race tomorrow?” Lando presses. If they’re going to chat about whatever it was right now, they could at least get to the point.

Max nods, shifting his gaze back to Oscar, “You are staying, yeah?”

“Yeah," Oscar says, "Why?”

It’s taking too long. Lando squeezes his eyes shut and presses his forehead against Oscar’s shoulder, hoping the counterpressure might do anything at all for the hot ache in his brain. Oscar’s hand goes immediately to the back of Lando’s neck, like it’s habit, and his thumb starts drawing firm lines down the muscle there, hairline to nape. It feels…really, really nice, actually.

“You’ll fly back with us after,” he can make out Max saying, “to Monaco. Lando and I and a few others.”

That doesn’t really make sense. Oscar’s been planning to go home for a bit over the mini break, Lando knows, they talked about it nearly right away when the agreement was drawn up. Far be it from him to argue that point, though, not when Oscar’s saying “Yeah, thanks, mate,” and his thumb’s still easing the pain in Lando’s skull. Lando would blame it on the headache, but it’s not like he’ll mind the extra time with Oscar, either. Which Max knows.

Lando cracks his eyes open and shifts enough to squint suspiciously at his friend, but Max is just grinning happily at the pair of them.

“Very good,” Max says. Sure.

“That’s all?” Oscar asks. His thumb finally stills. Lando does not whine about it, but it’s a close thing.

“Yes,” Max says, “you can take grumpy home now.”

Then, before Lando can decide whether that’s worth getting upset over, Oscar squeezes the back of his neck and nudges him up off his shoulder. His eyes are apologetic when Lando meets them, and he kisses Lando once on the forehead as he slides their palms back together.

It’s nice. Domestic. Very convincing, probably. Oscar’s gotten really good at his job.

“We’ll see you, mate,” Oscar says.

Max clasps Oscar’s hand for a second, then squeezes Lando’s shoulder on his way by.

When he's a few steps off, Oscar says, “Ready?” like Lando hasn’t been begging to go this whole time.

Lando says yes, please and he can tell it's a little whiny, because Oscar says "Hey, okay love, I'm sorry" and brushes a gentle kiss against his lips. Lando thinks Max is probably too far away to see it, but Oscar would know better.

It’s not until they’re finally settled into the back of the car, sides pressed together, that Lando remembers:

“Max knows about everything. You didn’t have to… he knows.”

Oscar’s gaze is soft and maybe a little sad, for some reason, but he smiles past it and combs his fingers through Lando’s hair until he settles.

“Yeah,” Oscar says as Lando’s head falls back against his shoulder, “He does.”

[crustyfloor]

Luka is very good at keeping himself composed on stage, mostly with the help of maintaining track of his heart rate, but during Mizi's attack in ROMH he seemed to slip up, not only was the red background a tell-tale sign of Mizi's violent intentions but it was a more symbolic way of showing Luka in quite visceral fear. Even if for only a second.

I'm not convinced Luka will be as continuously calculated as he normally comes off, it all seems too fake to me. Because it is. It’s a similar case to Ivan who can't feel, isn't normal, isn't human enough so he makes a persona to blend in. So Luka, whoever he is, makes this version of himself to cope with what he has to live through, pretending like he's on top of it all to survive in this world.

So in round 7, I think something drastic will happen to make him 'snap' in a way.

It's safe to say that we don't know Luka. We don't know who he really is. We don't know his real desires. But we do know one thing--he is scared. he is afraid of the aliens. That's why he appeases them--being their trophy. He's only kept around for his purpose as an entertainer and nothing else and he's very aware of that. He knows very well that a dented trophy will be discarded; with that mindset, he's been able to get so far, and he's scared of losing. That's why he holds any little thing he can get his hands on close. And an important extension of that fear is his fear of losing power.

Till should be the more likely in this position, given he's such a rebel. But isn't that just too predictable? Keep in mind, that Till is a strong person. Even after all he's been through, even after he's been beaten into something more manageable for the aliens--He still hasn't lost his spark. Till is a raging storm. subdued but nonetheless a force to be reckoned with.

Round 6's effect on Till is greatly ambiguous for now but at this point when the time for round 7 comes, Till has been put through so much hell. Whatever Luka does to provoke him probably won't work, he and Luka are equally talented individuals and will make for an intense battle, and at the end of the day, the numbers won't lie. Exactly that is what Luka is ready for but scared of--a worthy opponent for the throne. Someone capable of stripping him of his power. (Is fear what makes Luka so dismissive?)

It would be so aggravating that this 'pest'. who is so indignant, so rebellious (in a way Luka envies.), could so easily destroy everything Luka has worked for, disregard every pain Luka has been through to get to this point, and Till doesn't value this throne as much as Luka does, and Luka doesn't want to feel the pain of death anymore. If his facade is as destructible as I think it is, that will be what ultimately brings out Luka.

This idea may be flawed. Luka is so perfect, too perfect and confident and experienced for something as little as that to break him, just think of all the training Luka went through to get to this point. I'm positive he's very aware of what playing unfairly will lead to. But isn't there always room for a wild card?

Just remember what happened to Hyun-woo.

What happened here isn't fully explained (and probably will be in round 7) but imagine Luka: "Trophy child, goody two shoes" Luka possibly killing another human. Whether by accident or not, what happened?--what and how did Luka feel in the moment for the repercussions of whatever happened to be that bad?

A Luka that is secretly greatly insecure, pliable, and defensive enough that in a spur of emotions, he can’t help but lose his cool in a way he hasn’t in a while because he’s afraid—just to try and prove he is still valuable. That is the type of character I theorize we'll come to see in round 7.

[sweetdispatch]

https://www.tumblr.com/lucedilunax/768841993471361024/hi-matt-rempe-x-sarcastic-and-savage-reader

I love it but I was thinking more of it becoming a frenemies with benefits kinda thing? Like, they pretend they can’t stand each other but there’s a lot of pining. Rumors go around the team that they’re fcking or have some history of it. Then one night they get too drunk at the bar celebrating a win and go home together. But it’s not dirty and rough like you’d think. It’s super sweet and slow and kinda sloppy but you can tell there’s a lot more there than just annoyance and denied attraction. Sweet whispers and gentle touches. Stuff like that

prompt list

You and Matt had a complicated relationship. You weren’t his biggest fan and vice versa. It all started when you were still in college and hooked up with him once. You thought there’s something between you two but he stopped talking to you. You tried to forget about him and it was working, until you started work in Hartford. You had lots of fun with guys until you saw the forward who came back from New York. It was none other than the guy who made you believe that you two can be together.

Everyone around you could feel the tension between you two but no one asked about it. They thought both of you need to spend more time together to get along. Until one of the guys found out the truth and spread it to the rest of the team. At first Matt hadn’t put the pieces together that you’re the college girl but when he heard guys questions about it, everything made perfect sense to him why you hate him so much. 

“Why didn't you tell me that we share a past?” He asked you.

“Are you serious? Why would I tell you that? Why would I embarrass myself again in front of you?” You laughed. 

“Well, it would be nice to know this from you and not the guys” He found back.

“First of all, call down…” 

“Don’t tell me to calm down” He interrupted you in the middle of the sentence.

“Second of all, that’s not my problem you don’t remember me” You shrugged and left him.

Matt was shocked. He didn’t know how to cope with that information. Now, all the time he was seeing you, all he could see was the situation. It was embarrassing for him because he regretted not talking to you after you two hooked up. You looked like you moved on and now, you’re just sarcastic towards him to make him feel bad about the situation. 

You went with the whole team to celebrate a very important win. The next day you all had free time so you got drunk. Matt got drunk too and found the bravery to approach you. 

“What problem do you have with me?” He asked you.

“You fucked me and later treated like one of the whores. I felt used by the way you left me without a fucking word. I thought you liked me but I guess you only wanted to get laid” You answered him honestly. You were too drunk to control yourself.

“I did it because I liked you. I didn’t want to ruin it and that’s why I kept my mouth shut after it. I know it was wrong and I’m sorry” 

“I don’t believe you” You sipped your drink. He took the drink from your hand and kissed you. Immediately you kissed him back. “Let’s go back to my place so you can show me how sorry you are” You knew you’re gonna regret this but at that moment you didn’t care. 

When you arrived in your apartment, Matt was kissing you while you were laying impatiently on the bed. You were tired of waiting. 

“Just put your dick in me” You stated.

“Who knew that you’re hiding such a dirty mind” He laughed.

The sex was sloppy. You two were way too drunk to know what to do. Matt was gentle with you and tried to show you as much affection as he could in his state. He was touching you like you’re a trophy. He couldn’t get enough of you. You enjoyed this side of him. He was whispering cute words into your ear. He worshipped your body. 

This was new to you. You never expected him to be that guy, especially after your first hookup. Matt paid attention to every inch of your body. Your orgasm hit you hard and Matt followed your lead. Two of you laid in bed way too drunk to talk but you were aware that awkward conversation was waiting for you and him.

[nothingbutnowhere]

Hockey Player AU! Captain John Price Headcanons

...

Center. Long time captain (obv.), long suffering captain. 1000+ games. Someone get this man a cup already ffs. Defensive offenseman; has like three Selke trophies.

Not a big goal scorer, under reactive cellies, does the stand and point at whoever was the assist. But he does tally a few good assists per year and his cellies for his boys are intense. A little slower these days but will not back down from a crushing hit or dropping the gloves when he makes the occasion call for it. MEAN slapshot.

Leads by example... which... can lead to some crowded penalty boxes- you do NOT cheap shot these guys. They can and will drop the gloves. Price holds his team to the same standards and isn't afraid to enforce it internally. He'll drag Soap out of a pile as many times as he needs to. They play hard and physical, but clean.

Similarly, he wants to hold the league to high standards as well. If he feels there's been too many bad calls by the refs he's ready to cut a check to the league for scalding criticism post game.

Loves his boys so much. Always yelling encouragement on the bench. Would and has run through a wall for them. Physically affectionate. Known to give a little kiss on the cheek during cellies or on the bench 🥹 Gif sets of those are very popular. We love to see it.

He's a hockey veteran though and though, made some deep playoff runs, knows his shit, knows they can win a cup.

His team may be down but they are never out. Do not turn off the game, do not leave the stadium early, because you will regret it. Price will lead the team though the most nail biting comeback you've ever seen. He's fully taken the clipboard from the assistant coach to draw up plays before and it WORKS. Down three with three minutes left? One goal per minute, easy (this is, in fact, not easy).

Gaz is set to be his predecessor for captain. Price could not be more happy about it; he took Gaz under his wing the second he was drafted. Even though their play styles aren't the same, Gaz learns a lot from Price's leadership skills.

The kids think he's trendy with the 'bucket hat'... has to explain it's not.

Not a media favorite. He doesn't use the stock hockey responses and is a little too real. Has accidentally sworn multiple times live on air :( Used to avoid interviews and pressers when he was younger, but once he took on leadership roles he had to make peace with it. He gets asked the 'why are you so pissy' comment that Drai did a couple years ago. Reporter got a death glare for that.

Yet a fan favorite. We can't help it he's so handsome!! Competency is hot!! He's loyal and passionate! What's not to love about him!

Locker room menace- walks around naked and does not give a fuck. Much to the chagrin of the media. (Pls one shot of his ass just one please we're begging you)

Hockey hair status: yes with his facial hair. Keeps the chops shorter during the regular season, but lets it all grow for the playoffs

Roster pic status: he's giving that one face. His promo videos are also 😵‍💫

Mic'd up: he'll do it and knows people like his voice (for some reason?) but he doesn't prefer it

WAG status: has been with the same women for years and years. She enjoys games with the other girls, but doesn't party as much as she used to. His family was SO cute at his 1000th game ceremony 🥹 

His number WILL be retired one day and I WILL cry at the ceremony.

After retirement will stick around to coach, probably after taking a few years off to be with his family.

...

I do NOT consent for my works, part of my works, or my ideas to be used for ANY form of AI.

Note: WAG stands for wife and girlfriend or the plural, used to refer to sports guy's significant others. Yes it is heteronormative. (Read as self insert if you so desire). Hockey Price is somewhat based on my previous fav (now retired) player Mikko Koivu.

More hockey au: Ghost | Soap | Gaz

[jacquesthepigeon]

Re:suffering

First the caveat that this is writing choices and not meant to address the character's *personality*/core.

I think one of the big reasons you get people arguing in favor of the suffering thing comes down to catharsis and reprecussions.

Adrien's plot is suffering, like, you legitimately can't put a kid through what he has canonically gone through without issues. A literal property for his father's fashion empire, schedule controlled to the minute, mother dead, isolated from the world, yeeted into superheroing, the various things involved in that. A girl both frenzying at him and running from him, him being fairly useless in relationships having had almost zero and yet multiple people wanting one with him mere weeks after his emergence. His father's descent into madness, whatever the hell was going on in S5.

It's all there. Yet as you say it never seems to really *hit* him. This is because he needs to be a 'perfect' trophy for our lead heroine. After this much time being denied catharsis it no longer feels like he isn't affected, it feels like the best 'smiling through the pain and slowly going mad' riff you have ever experienced.

Meanwhile we see Marinette suffer alllllll the time. Dragging Marinette is this show's favorite thing next to beating the dead Chloé horse. Yet... It's always performative. Marinette suffers...but it almost always just works out fine when push comes to shove. She wants a boy and he is unavailable? Here's another boy. That one won't work out? He's the first one back, and a couple girls on top. Take your pick.

Lost Fu? Okay but now you have access to all the miraculous and here's Alya too. Lost all the Miraculous? Don't sweat it Monarch is going to go back to generic akumas. Lost the wish? Don't worry the results work out in your favor.

Nothing ever sticks. The show wants you to sympathize with Marinette (hence making her suffer) but won't let her actually fail/have a meaningful setback. She is required by law to girlboss by the end of every episode.

So all that just sets up a lot of cognitive dissonance. People express it ... Poorly.

See, I have to disagree on a number of points.

When it comes to Adrien, it does come across as him simply not caring rather than trying to smile through the pain, at least to me. His lack of significant interest or reactions in most of canon combined with the WOG knowledge that anything that could challenge his worldview and pure-heartedness is to be avoided and never acknowledged as a possible factor in his behavior gives me no choice but to read him that way. The crew won’t even acknowledge Gabriel, or any other parent for that matter, as being abusive so according to the universe’s rules and intentions, while Gabriel is extremely overbearing and controlling, no one, in or out of the ML universe, is meant to interpret that as anything other than misguided forms of affection. As a result, while Adrien is canonically traumatized in that he feels caged, he can’t resent his father for more than an ep at a time and truly recognize how bad his situation is. In addition to the fact that we’ve had a couple of scenes of Adrien confiding in Plagg about his upsets, he rarely mentions difficulties coping with family, instead focusing on his romantic pursuits. Just look at how his main daddy drama in S5 was about Gabriel disapproving of Marinette rather than the lifetime of isolation and the cover-up regarding his own mother’s mysterious disappearance.

And don’t get me wrong, I’ve made posts about his fixation on romance being a bad coping mechanism and what it would imply for his character, but as far as canon interpretation goes, he acts like The Problems don’t even exist and only seems to care about getting a girlfriend 99% of the time. WOG pretty much confirms that.

As for Marinette, I think implying that having a support system negates suffering is incorrect on many levels. It helps with coping, yes, but does not negate the hurt. And it’s not like she got 1:1 tradeoffs either so none of the events can be considered bittersweet in regards to their effects on her. The writing being Lazy and Bad does make it not as bad as it could be, but it’s still undoubtedly bad.

[xjulixred45x]

Yui x Itadori AU!Crossover JJK/DL/¿Gojou or Sukuna?

This is the translation of a question from my inbox, which just talks about the AU Crossover of JUJUTSU KAISEN and Diabolik Lovers, with Yui being saved and having a cute romance with the JJK main character, Itadori :3, right?

I definitely like to think of this Au where Yui's partner is defined by the reader (although my personal favorite is Itadori) so the potential to write about Gojo with an older Yui is a tantalizing prospect (and realistic considering how the clan Gojo acts).

Gojo may or may not have been the one who saved Yui from the vampires in the first place, so from the beginning Yui would hold him in high esteem, not only for saving her but because she would quickly realize how strong he is and be inspired in a certain way. especially after realizing that even though Gojo comes from a strong clan, he's only human, he can die like her and still can with the monsters that terrorized her for years. That helps not to put him on a pedestal but in turn want to learn from him.

We all know that Gojo is not very fond of weak people, but I imagine that he interacts a lot with Yui in order to ensure that no one tries to kidnap her again, which leads to them getting to know each other better and understanding the context of what happened with the diaboys. , which leads to him respecting Yui more and not seeing her as someone "weak" but rather as a victim who did what was necessary to survive.

I imagine Gojo is very supportive of Yui getting over her trauma with the Diaboys, either by trying to warm her up by using her Normally loud and fun personality, but if that doesn't work, I think she could open up to her a bit to Let him see that he understands what it's like to go through something traumatic (this would be the most likely).

Yui has had birthdays in several Games, so I think she's definitely over 18 at the end of Lost Eden, so in Gojo's case, there wouldn't be much of a problem with the age difference. But even so, there is a different maturity difference and in personality, don't even talk about it, but it is partly a strong point.

Does anyone remember that SHIN dialogue in Dark fate?

"you told me this one day

"I am aware of how weak I am"

You're wrong.

You are not weak.

Aren't you stronger than anyone?

That's why I let your presence surround me, and I open myself to you"

It gives me a vibe that it would be something that Satoru would say to Yui, CHANGE MY MIND.

Besides, the dynamic with the boys would be hilarious, they wouldn't even believe that someone as adorable and good as Yui would be with someone like their sensei. I already mentioned it in the original post, but Yui is a mommy friend, so I wouldn't be surprised if Nobara, Meugmi, and Itadori see her as such, and totally ignore Satoru when he wants to be seen as a dad.

Taking a bit from gaming canon, Yui knows how to cook, I'm talking about soups, big plates for the Sakamakis (6 people) and most importantly BAKED GOODS DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO MAKE BAKED GOODS?? Apart from that they are delicious! Satoru becomes Yui's number one taster and brings her whatever she needs to cook to her liking, he helps from time to time so that it isn't so heavy, but you have to be careful that it doesn't end up in a flour fight.

GojoxYui is definitely something fun to imagine with the perfect amount of fluff and angst, the complete package.

NOW, with Sukuna I have mixed feelings, I really like the "bad REALLY BAD x pure person" trope, other than (in my perspective) Sukuna wouldn't want to kill Yui because of how useful she would be, which is already a good start, BUUUUUUT, I honestly can't imagine this relationship being healthy, don't get me wrong, I like it, but it would be hard to get anything out of Fluff without a Yandere background or something.

As I said in the original post, Sukuna at first would see Yui more as a trophy than as a person, but he wouldn't kill her for how valuable she is, both Sorcerers and Curses would want her, but only HE could have her because he is THE KING of curses. Now, I don't think Sukuna wanted to use Yui to get stronger because of Ego, he thinks he's invincible and for the most part he is. Does anyone assume that he needs a human to be powerful? Instant death.

I think I would only develop a greater interest in Yui if she makes the first move, I mean, Yui has already been around disturbed people (and even interacting with KarlHeinz before) so she wouldn't be as scared as the average person would be, since seen death before, unless Sukuna did something really barbaric in front of her or I tried to kill her(VERY unlikely). That probably catches Sukuna's attention and he wants to know more about her (like the interest she has for Megumi with a plus of constant interaction).

I talked about this a bit with my sister and maybe Yui will be able to get (probably not on purpose) into Sukuna's innate domain when she sleeps (like when she dreamed of Eden in More Blood) and thus interact more with him. I imagine Yui very curious about what Sukuna was doing before being sealed, which would 1. Raise the ego of this mf and 2. The esteem towards Yui increases.

When I say this would be a bit difficult without putting on the Yandere vibes, I really mean it, for a deeper friendship/crush point, Sukuna most likely won't hesitate to kill what he sees as a potential problem for Yui, the bishops who sent her with the sakamakis? Dead Karlheinz? Dead, the Sakamaki? Oh how he would enjoy this, after knowing everything they did to Yui he would be merciful with their deaths and be proud of his work. He may or may not resort to some manipulation to get Yui to turn to the dark side to his side and never be the victim again, he makes sure of that.

If we talk about an AU where Sukuna has his own body or his true form, let's be honest, Yui wouldn't do anything against him as long as she survived, it worked for her before and it will work for him now. After all, she knows that pleasing someone with a sky-high ego is a good way to survive (ask the Diaboys) and Sukuna would be HAPPY about this, not only because it strokes his ego, but because Yui willingly stays by his side as as long as he fulfills certain conditions (leaving Seiji alive, for example, and yes, one day I will talk about him).

Already established, I would say that it would be a dynamic where although Yui does not participate in Sukuna's bad deeds, she does nothing to avoid it either, she accepts his nature and instead lives better compared to other humans. It's his little lamb, adorable and naive, but untouchable. Something too precious to harm, but not just for her blood.

It's like a new version of the White Rose for curses, the White Rose of the King of Curses. Surprisingly protective of Yui, having the context of what happened to her, he is wary of everyone except maybe Uraume, at least Yui has someone else to interact with.

The YuixSukuna is definitely something, he has the old DL undertones, a bit of a dark relationship, with Yandere undertones, but he is surprisingly comforting and ironically much more loving than all the diaboys.

If there was a love triangle between the three of them, I don't think, I'm not good at doing something like that per se, but I would definitely like to see it with someone who knows how to do that kind of thing. stage, but I'll see what the future holds.

Some other day I'll talk more about this AU and its bases, but for now I hope you enjoy it :3

[adleryoung]

"It's a lot easier'n it sounds," Burnside continued. "An' then, once you work yer way up to his brain you can-"

"ALL RIGHT," I interrupted, starting to get queasy myself. "Thank you, Raccoon Monster, for perfectly illustrating my point. That's enough now!"

"Hold on," Burnside objected. "I ain't finished yet. If you poke the brain in just the right spot, you can make him dance around an- OOOHHHHH!"

I applied a generous amount of Orgasmic Touch, and Burnside crumpled happily to the ground.

"So are you gonna teach us that move?" the mouse (bear?) asked.

"It's pretty advanced," I replied cautiously. "We'll see what sort of progress you make first."

I took a moment to compose myself and try to clear the gruesome imagery of Burnside's descriptions out of my mind. After a few deep breaths, I knelt next to Mother Didelphis and applied a few well-chosen Gramaryes to revive her. I also soothed the duck and offered the vixen a stomach remedy, which she politely refused.

"If you're all feeling better now," I declared after these ministrations were finished, "let's continue the briefing, or orientation, or whatever you want to call it. You've heard the Raccoon Monster's gruesome testimony, and I presume you know the old adage 'Elves do not lie.' This means her story is true. And yes, she is an elf, an Unseelie one," I added as the vixen raised her hand.

The vixen lowered her hand with a nod, and I continued. "What the Monster told you is an extreme example, yes, but this is ultimately what the Unseelie lifestyle leads to. It is a path of ever increasing violence and destruction. It may start small, but it ends with you crawling inside someone's ribcage and poking his brain. The first few steps you take, you can justify your actions: This person was mean to you, or he's just bad in general - but eventually the excuses melt away and you start hurting people just for fun. Where do you think this leads? Do you suppose the Raccoon Monster has any friends? Or do you think she sliced them all to ribbons and ate them years ago? Go Unseelie, and you'll truly learn what isolation is. You think you're outcasts now? How will you feel when villagers grab their torches and pitchforks and start hunting you? Will you be pleased with your choice while you're living in the roots of a dead tree, cold and alone? Will you be happy when you look at your reflection and only see a monster looking back?"

"He's got a point," the vixen murmured.

"I never thought of it that way," the duck quacked quietly.

"But how do I get even with that SHREW who took away my pie trophy?" Mother Didelphis objected.

"By being better than her!" Rebecca exclaimed. "Like all of you, I turned to witchcraft out of spite, to get revenge on the world. But success is the best revenge! Spite just breeds more spite. Instead of sabotaging your enemy's recipes, you can use magic to bake a pie so delicious, she will never be able to top it! That's the Seelie way! A positive, constructive way! I implore you to at least give it a try. Even though I've only just started, this is the happiest I've ever felt! It could work for you too."

As Rebecca gave her impassioned speech, a cluster of tiny sparkles flew around her head. When did she learn to do that??

"That makes sense," the bear (mouse?) admitted. "But a blood ritual still sounds pretty bad-ass. I didn't sign up to be nice and bake pies and crochet doilies. I am looking for thrills."

"Don't let yourself be duped into thinking Fuma is all goody-goody," I interjected. "That is the result of your erroneous lowfolk assumptions, which your cockamamie religion has instilled into you. Fuma has very different definitions as to what is good and evil. Fun is encouraged! A little mischief is expected! You can be as theatrical and broody as you want. Wear black! Be mysterious! Tie bones in your hair! Cackle fiendishly at your own private jokes! A little showmanship and mystique will go a long way."

"Could you wear pink and glitter if you wanted to?" the duck asked.

"I mean, hypothetically," she added sheepishly, as all the other witches stared. "If somebody wanted to do that, would it be allowed?"

[coqhee]

RACE TO YOUR HEART 𓂃 이희승

✷ lee heeseung who's always been a pro at racing takes on a change of pacing ; racing for your heart.

f1 racer heeseung︲fem reader ︲fluff, romance, angst, strangers to lovers, mechanic! reader︲pet names, grammar errors, cursing, yeonjun is kinda an ass, alcohol consumption, jealousy, poor communication, kissing︲16.7k / more

1ST EMAIL IN TO: YOUR HEART COLLECTION

─── ♡

LEE HEESEUNG was no stranger to racing. from the loud roar of the engine, to the chant of fans surrounding the track hoping to see him come out on top, and the split-second decisions that could mean the difference between victory and defeat were all too familiar to him.

with many fans who adored his fierce attitude and passion for racing, there was no denying that he was one of the best f1 racers of his generation.

as soon as he puts on his crimson red helmet, he’s a completely different person. a full 180, from the sweet, observant, and attentive man he usually is. there comes his competitive side where he’s got his eyes on the prize.

he’s adorned many trophies over the years, winning many competitions over, at some point he felt numb to it. win after win. many could only wish to feel “nothing” from winning.

a new type of race. he needed a new prize.

now, while he may be a pro at racing cars, was he a pro at racing to someone’s heart? hell no. far from it.

so, when a cute new mechanic arrives as the replacement for one season only, it’s then he decides, it’s a race to your heart against time. he’s determined to win something other than a race. to win your heart.

except he only has 167 days and he’s got to make every one worth it.

─── ♡

youd always had a love for cars from a young age and even repaired your first car with your dad. a red vintage mustang, practically in shambles when you first got it.

your dad agreed to help you fix it as long as you bought it, so one summer job later, your pockets were lined with cash or at least enough to barely afford the broken car for a price that took days of haggling for a flat $500.

essentially, you had built that car ground up considering how broken it was, but that feeling of working with cars was something you just couldn’t dismiss.

you had your heart set on working with cars, no matter what. throughout highschool you had taken many shop classes and earned high marks, and even through college, you repaired cars on the side for some extra cash.

you used that cash to take classes at night in order to get your qualifications to be a mechanic despite your parents’ wishes against it.

you’d never really thought about where your future of cars might lead you, and you’d never considered being an f1 mechanic until your friend karina had brought it up.

“you’re joking, right?” you asked after karina suggested it. “listen, i love working with cars but f1? sure it's a dream, but that’s the scary fast stuff for the rich people that take cars too seriously,” you continued denying any possibility that you could be an f1 mechanic.

“i mean, you’re good at what you do, and you have the qualifications for it, what’s so bad about it?” karina shrugged, putting down her pencil.

“rina hand me that wrench near the phone there,” you motioned with your head towards your work area. “okay listen, i’d have to travel constantly, and it’s completely different cars from what us commoners drive,” you continued defending your point once again.

“okay well, just think of the money,” she attempted to convince you once again. “broke girls like us need that sorta cash,”

you hummed in response to her argument as she handed you the wrench you asked for. she wasn’t wrong. working as a mechanic under your boss didn’t necessarily suck per se, buuut it could be better.

“plus, you won’t even have to stay working as a mechanic for long. just find a cute, rich racer and you’re set for life, never work another day,” she teased, referring back to your “plan a” in life of just finding someone rich instead of working your ass off.

you wouldn’t call yourself a gold digger necessarily, but hey if finding someone rich while doing your job came along, you wouldn’t be too opposed to it. all of a sudden being a mechanic for those fancy cars didn’t sound too bad.

“okay fine. fair point,” you caved, “what’s in it for you though hm?” you questioned the authenticity of her suggestion.

“got me there,” she sighed, “there’s this super cute guy who races for ferrari, jake, and my dad knows a person who knows a person, who…” she noticed you rolling your eyes, at her extensive speech.

“long story short, i can get you a job as a mechanic there,” she clapped her hands giddily.

so that’s how you ended up here. in monaco. you reminisced on the memory from months ago, sighing. she was indeed very convincing or else you wouldn’t be here now.

with a loud clap from your boss, you were snapped out of your trance in an instant.

“alright team, sun’s shining bright,and it’s looking like a real good day. i’m sure by now you guys have met y/n, who’ll be joining us for today's race,” your new boss motioned towards you. you awkwardly bowed your head to meet your peers around you.

“beomgyu, i’m gonna need you to show y/n around the hospitality today,” he instructed, pulling you and the manto the side.

“hi, i'm beomgyu, i’ve been working here for around 3 years, hope we can get along well,” he smiled softly. your nerves were relaxed upon hearing the welcoming words.

“y/n, i’m new to this f1 stuff, so honestly i’m nervous with the cars we’ll be working with,” you chuckled nervously.

“don’t sweat it. i'll just show you around and how we run stuff. maybe you’ll even meet some drivers if they’re hanging around, doubt it though,” he reassured, patting your back as the two of your walked to the hospitality.

you were in awe of the big space. sure, you had seen it through pictures when karina was gawking about how nice it’d be, but this was on a whole new level.

from the luxury cars parked on the grass, to the view overlooking the track, it was truly astonishing just being able to be here.

“so yeah! there’s not much to it, the place is cool and all but most of our time is gonna be spent down at the garage. but hey! when you’re on break you can enjoy the sweet, sweet view up here,” he commented, ending off the tour on a high.

you smiled pleasantly making a mental note to call karina later and thank her for the opportunity.

“beomgyu! what are you doing here? i thought you’d be down at the garage,” a voice chirped from behind you. the voice neared and you saw a figure pulling beomgyu in for a hug.

“heeseung! hey man i’ll be there shortly, just showing our new mechanic around the hospitality,” beomgyu greeted back cheerfully.

the man looked down at you with a kind smile and nodded, “great to have you here! i'm heeseung, one of the drivers for ferrari, and you are..?” he trailed off hoping to catch your name.

“y/n. glad to meet you as well,” you smiled curtly because wow. karina was not lying when she said that the racers were good looking people.

“so you’re the lee heeseung, as in the reigning champion of f1?” you jokingly clarified to fill the silence

he chuckled and nodded, taking note of your name in the process “well anyways, i should get going. super great meeting you though,” he turned to leave.

“oh yeah, beomgyu, you should come too, they wanted you to do one final check on the car to make sure it was good to go,” he quickly called out, motioning for beomgyu to follow.

with that, you watched as the two exited the building leaving you to your own devices. It wasn’t long until you had to be at the garage either.

you looked at your phone to check the time, 10:21 am, may 24th, 2024. only 198 days til the season was over. and it barely felt like you could survive this weekend of racing alone.

─── ♡

“who is she?” heeseung asked watching beomgyu check the car thoroughly.

“who, y/n?” beomgyu asked back.

“yeah, her,”

“just the new mechanic. it’s her first time doing f1 shit so i wouldn’t expect the world out of h-“

“she’s funny,” heeseung cut off, too lost in thought. beomgyu rolled his eyes at the two word comment he got cut off for.

heeseung, frankly, was a fool. he was drawn to you and would love to get to know you more. being friends with your mechanics cannot go poorly, right?

to be honest, he had seen you before you had walked in the building and admired your passion when speaking with the other mechanics.

ever since seeing that he’s wanted to talk to you, and that’s all that’s been on his mind.

“well, you’re all good to go for your practice laps, just don’t crash, thinking about her,” the boy teased, patting heeseung on the back for motivation.

“yeah yeah like that’s gonna happen,” heeseung snorted at the silly comment. how could he, f1’s reigning champion, crash? well, it might happen if he’s too busy thinking about ferrari’s new and cute mechanic, you.

heeseung slid into the driver seat of the car, the space feeling all too familiar to him. a second home if he was being honest. as his assistant handed him his helmet and he put it on, it was like a switch flipped.

as he revved the engine, he could see from the corner of his eye you giving a giddy wave as if you were a fan girl (which you basically were to be fair). he chuckled at the gesture.

cute. he thought to himself as he set off on his laps.

the groove of the road slowly felt more and more familiar the more he drove.

soon enough it was time for the real deal, the final race of the weekend.

heeseung took a final deep breath sliding into the car, and began creeping up to the starting position. he’d been driving for a while and while it was in his nature to feel relaxed typically, he couldn’t help but feel nervous with a new set of eyes on him.

he suppressed the voices within and let the switch in him flip to the lee heeseung that many knew as ferrari’s star driver.

for you on the other hand, you felt nothing but excitement to watch the races throughout the weekend. you had watched heeseung’s fiery determination from practice to qualifying, and were nothing more than eager to watch the final race commence.

with that, you watched the red lights countdown, and soon enough, off they went with a blur.

“pulling ahead, in the lead is ferrari’s star lee heeseung with their new and improved model, lets see how well it’ll hold up against mclaren’s newest driver, choi yeonjun, coming up not far behind,” the announcer broadcasted loudly.

watching the race take place in real life, this close, felt straight out of a movie, and you could barely comprehend that this was even happening.

you watched heeseung’s bright red ferrari and yeonjun’s orange mclaren trade between first and second place, everyone seemingly falling farther and farther behind. the two bright cars seemed to only be competing with each other and no one else.

the minutes soon passed by and the first race was closing out. you watched as the orange blur overtook ferrari’s signature red near the end of the track, sighing in what you thought would be defeat.

“lee heeseung not far behind picks up the pace to catch up with choi yeonjun… will he be able to pull it off? and HE DOES BY LESS THAN A SECOND, WINNING THE MONACO GRAND PRIX FOR 2024” the announcer exclaims with enthusiasm.

cheers erupt from the fans surrounding the track, eliciting an unfamiliar and unique emotion. it became clear to you why so many adored f1 racing, and cheering for their favorites.

you cheer from the sidelines pumped up seeing your team win off the bat for the season and smile feeling a sense of pride wash over.

─── ♡

the long drawn out weekend ended with heeseung’s in first place narrowly beating yeonjun. he was cutting it too close. closer than usual that is.

“insane race today, good shit though,” jake dapped him up, going in for a hug after taking his helmet off.

“i was scared for a second honestly, what do they put in these new guys,” heeseung retorts back to his close friend (and teammate), taking his own helmet off. he shakes his head letting his messy hair fall down naturally.

“that yeonjun guy has some serious potential though, shame he’s an asshole though i’ve heard,” jake shrugs after nodding off to the other mechanics to deal with the car.

“really? who'd you hear that from,” heeseung asks mindlessly, walking towards the hospitality.

“sunghoon from red bull told me, even the mechanics don’t like him apparently,” jake continued on with heeseung humming in response.

“hey, who’s the new mechanic for you? beomgyu said you were getting a replacement,” jake questions curiously to his fellow teammate.

he thinks to himself for a moment recalling the interaction earlier, and the silly joke you had made earlier.

“y/n. she’s cute, beomgyu introduced me,”

“cute? that’s what you point out?” jake laughs at the seemingly shallow comment.

“i’m bad with women, you know that. she’s nice and i really wanted to say more but i didn’t wanna scare her off. i think i want to get to know her better,” heeseung explained.

“man, you really suck with women, but it’s not like i'm any better. you’re on your own,” jake snorts, giving him 0 reassurance.

─── ♡

it didn’t take long for heeseung to make his first move in an attempt to talk to you more.

he had a plan. he was indeed a man with his plan.

step one: find out how to talk to you more.

it started with talking with beomgyu to find your hotel room number for the night and quite a few questions from the man asking why lee heeseung, the young star with a bright future ahead, would need it.

“i’m just tryna get to know my team a little better, what’s so bad about that?” heeseung defended himself raising his hands up as if surrendering.

and after 10 minutes of haggling —yelling— with beomgyu, and one long talk from the receptionist asking you to keep it down in the hall because guests were sleeping, he finally got your room number… just not through beomgyu.

“hey, uh, did i miss a page?” you wipe the sleep from your eyes as you poke your head out from your room.

“everything is great! don't worry about it! isn’t that right gyu,” heeseung grins, waving his hands as if telling you to ‘not worry about it’.

“uh huh, okay” beomgyu rolls his eyes walking back to his own room leaving just you and heeseung in the hall.

you nervously approach the tall man despite being tired, in your pajamas, and feeling slightly embarrassed, but nonetheless wanting to figure out what the commotion had been about.

“um, so what was that about?” you question curiously, which you had every right to at this point.

“hi, i'm heeseung. i don’t know if you remember or not but i was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee in the morning at the cafe blocks down,” he asked shyly scratching the back of his head nervously.

you blew it. you absolutely just fucking blew it. his inner voice told himself.

“sure, sounds great. i’ll be there at 7:30,” you mumble out tiredly, after all, it had been a long first day on the job.

he grins upon hearing your response despite it sounding incredibly unenthusiastic. i mean c’mon, he just woke you up yelling in the hallway, you can’t be that glad.

“sounds amazing,” he smiles. “i’ll be ready by then, pretty,” he turns to leave in the direction of his room.

“oh, and sorry for waking you up,” he apologized quickly. you giggle at the way he sounds almost out of breath from arguing with beomgyu earlier but still wanted to make an effort.

heeseung smiled to himself hearing you giggle. maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

he spent that night thinking of all the different ways a conversation with you could possibly go, replaying every memory of you in his mind that night. just something about you was so incredibly captivating, he had to figure it out.

heeseung was up before the sun, the soft hum of the city still waking up as he slipped on a hoodie and grabbed his keys. it wasn’t often he found himself nervous—he was used to high pressure situations, the kind that made most people sweat. but today wasn’t about lap times or podium finishes.

you had agreed to have a coffee with him in the morning, and the thought of it had his heart racing faster than any f1 car ever could.

it wasn’t a date, at least, not officially. just a morning coffee. casual. easy. but the way he had been thinking about it all night made it feel like something more.

he reached the café early, of course. it was small, tucked away from the main streets, the kind of place where you could go unnoticed. perfect. he picked a table near the window, fingers drumming on the edge of the table, glancing out every few minutes, waiting for you to walk through the door.

you still couldn’t quite believe that lee heeseung, ferrari’s golden boy and one of the most sought-after drivers in the world, had asked you to coffee. the whole thing felt surreal. you had only talked once before—a brief conversation (if you can even call it that) before the race.

the question had caught you off guard. you had blinked, unsure if he was just being friendly or if there was more behind the offer. but the easy smile on his face made it seem harmless, so you said yes without thinking too hard about it.

after all, why not? it wasn’t like you were going to pass up breakfast with a formula 1 driver, the lee heeseung, even if it was just a friendly gesture.

but now, the night before, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, you found yourself replaying the moment in your head. what exactly had prompted him to ask you? you had only talked for a few seconds, nothing deep or particularly memorable, at least on your end. or so you thought.

you figured it was probably just a spur-of-the-moment thing. maybe he was bored, or maybe he just liked getting to know people. either way, it wasn’t a big deal. right?

you turned over in bed, groaning softly. why were you overthinking this? heeseung had probably forgotten about it already, while here she was, lying awake, wondering if she should dress up or just go casual.

it wasn’t like it was a date or anything—just coffee. just a second conversation with a guy who happened to race cars for a living (and was super cute).

still, there was something about the way he’d asked. his tone had been casual, but his eyes had held yours a moment longer than she expected, like he was genuinely hoping you'd say yes. and that small detail had stuck with you, now making you second guess yourself.

you sighed, grabbing your phone from the bedside table to check the time—2 a.m. great. if you didn’t get some sleep soon, you'd show up looking like a zombie. but as you tried to settle down again, your mind kept wandering back to him.

─── ♡

as you approached the café, a soft breeze tugged at your hair, and the early morning sun cast a golden glow over the quiet street. it was still early enough that the city hadn’t fully woken up yet—just a few people walking their dogs or grabbing coffee to-go.

the air felt crisp and cool, carrying with it the faint scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked bread from the nearby shops.

you nervously fidgeted with the strap of your bag as you reached the door. inside, everything seemed quieter than the world outside, yet still lively in a sense

your eyes sweep the room, and then you see him. heeseung, sitting by the window, bathed in the soft morning light. he looks calm, leaning back slightly in his chair, fingers tapping lightly on the table as he stares out at the street unaware of your presence.

he soon takes notice, waving to you to come sit with him, and your feet move your way over before your mind can even process the small interaction.

“hey,” he greets you as you sit down, his voice low but warm, the kind that feels like it wraps around you and pulls you in. “glad you made it.”

you offer a small smile, trying to match his ease. “yeah, thanks for inviting me. i hope i’m not too late.”

he shakes his head, his eyes soft as they meet yours. “nah, not at all. i’ve been looking forward to this.” his words are casual, but there’s something about the way he says it—like he really means it—that makes your heart skip.

shut up, he's just being nice. you think to yourself. just a temporary job, then i'm back home. you couldn’t afford getting too attached to anyone here, it was just a job at the end of the day.

“really?” you manage to muster out despite your thoughts.

heeseung grins, a boyish charm lighting up his face as he leans forward slightly. “well, it’s not every day that I get to have breakfast with someone who isn’t a driver or a team manager.”

“oh, so i’m just a change of pace for you?” you tease, raising an eyebrow.

“maybe,” he says, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “or maybe it’s because i don’t know you that well yet, and i kind of want to.”

the sentence caught you off guard with the amount of sincerity he used to say each and every word.

“sorry didn’t mean to make it weird,” he mumbled out in a sort of embarrassment for his statement.

you giggled at his nervous excitement of the situation and reassured him it was okay to which he smiled feeling relieved of a potential headache of overthinking.

an oddly comfortable silence fills the air as the two of you take in the bustling atmosphere around you of people just going about their mundane day.

normally coffee with a person you barely know would be awkward to say the least, but with heeseung it felt eerily normal.

“so how'd you get into racing?” you ask, breaking the said silence.

“mostly video games, honestly, i played racing games when i was younger and i've always just been in love with the speed that comes with it. my cousin knew someone who did karting so i guess that's how it all started,” he responds, reminiscing about his childhood spent playing racing games with his older brother.

you nod at the mini backstory you had asked for and take a sip of your coffee before he asks you in return, “how’d you get into being a mechanic?”

and before you can answer, he receives a phone call. you smile and nod telling him to take the call to which he does.

heeseung pressed the phone to his ear, his patience already fraying as the call came at the worst possible moment.

“hey, listen, i’m kind of busy right now,” he said, trying to keep his irritation in check. “can i call you back in, say, 30 minutes?”

he could practically hear the stress on the other end of the line, and he rolled his eyes internally. of course, there was always something—always a problem that couldn’t wait. of course.

“no, this is important,” came the firm response, cutting through any hope that he might get even a short reprieve.

heeseung’s jaw tightened. “okay…?” his tone edged with the same frustration he was trying to suppress,

there was a pause, followed by a deep sigh. “it’s about the car. the engine isn’t working, and we need you to come down.”

he sighed, his hand tapping on the table, displeased to say the least. of all days and time for the car to act up, it had to be now. glancing across the table at you, he knew his morning with you was about to be cut short.

“give me a moment to finish up. y/n’s with me—do you want me to drive her there then?”

he gave you a tight, apologetic smile, pointing to the phone as he mouthed "manager," signaling the sudden shift in mood.

you nodded, watching him closely as he turned his attention back to the call, already feeling the tension radiating from him.

“sure, why not,” the manager replied, sounding distracted, like they didn’t really care about anything other than getting him to the garage.

heeseung hung up with an irritated sigh, shaking his head as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. “the car’s engine is messed up or something,” he muttered, his tone sharper than he intended. then he looked at you, softening slightly. “we gotta head down there. i’ll drive you.”

he could feel the frustration simmering beneath the surface, not just because of the car, but because this was supposed to be a break—time spent away from the chaos, a change of pace as he put it earlier.

but then you smiled, that same light-hearted grin he’d come to appreciate, and you said, “hey, maybe this can be my first proper job for f1 then, huh?”

heeseung couldn’t help but smile, your enthusiasm cutting through his irritation. he let out a soft chuckle, the tension in his shoulders loosening just a bit. “hmm, maybe,” he said, his tone more relaxed now. “guess we’ll see then.”

as he stood up and grabbed his keys, he watched you mirror his movements. despite the shift in plans, you weren’t phased. if anything, you were handling the disruption better than he was.

he led the way out of the café, his mind already half-focused on the problem with the car, but he tried to stay in the moment, glancing over at you as you walked beside him.

you didn’t seem to mind the sudden change of plans, and that alone made it easier for him to let go of some of the frustration.

at the car, he opened the door for you without thinking, a gesture that took you by surprise, quietly thanking him as you climbed in. he hesitated for a moment, resting his hand on the car roof.

he settled into the car watching you intently as you studied the detailed black interior of the car, aweing at the time it must have taken to make such an intricate car.

“sorry about this,” he murmured, his voice a little quieter, more sincere than before. “i didn’t plan for it to happen today.” he continued more apologetically.

“don’t worry about it,” you replied, settling into the passenger seat. “besides, it’ll be interesting to see what’s going on with the car, right? maybe i’ll learn something new.”

a wave of admiration came across him for your positivity, it was blinding honestly.

sure, the car’s engine problem was weighing on his mind, but somehow, sitting here with you made it feel like it wasn’t such a big deal. for once, even amidst the chaos of racing, he felt grounded—thanks to you.

the car ride had that same comfortable silence in the air, neither of you wanting to add more to think about. both of your minds lingered on the thought of what could’ve possibly happened to the engine.

“so..”

“right, how did you get into car stuff, being a mechanic?” he asked, wanting to finish the conversation earlier until he had been interrupted by “car stuff”.

“my dad fixed cars for fun and he showed me,” you smiled. he hummed in response hearing the humble backstory, glad to know more about you.

“what’s the plan after this mechanic gig is up?” he asked, prying further into your life, just wanting to keep the conversation going.

you stared out the window admiring the blur of the city going by. “hmm, i'll probably just go back home to my old job, this was kinda a one off, if i'm being honest,” you answered with a sort of hesitancy, realizing this little dream job would end in less than a year. he hummed in response not wanting to encourage your dwelling.

“when i read up on you, i saw we have the same hometown, funny huh?” you continued in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“reading up on me huh?” he teased to which you rolled your eyes trying to keep your own composure.

“hey, i need to know who i'm working with,” lie. you stayed up longer than you should’ve last night looking him up. article to article.

“honored my name is on your search history then, pretty,” the reoccurring nickname sending your brain into a frenzy.

“u-uh yeah.” you stutter out still feeling giddy.

─── ♡

“there you guys are, finally,” his manager greeted the both of you. you shyly greeted him back before he hurriedly debriefed you on the situation at hand

“y/n, the rest of the mechanics are over in that garage if you want to take a look,” he motioned in some other direction to which you nodded.

part of you cheered giddily for getting to be able to do something, contribute if you will, but otherwise, you were nervous. nervous for failure on your first attempt at fixing an f1 car.

stepping into the garage, the smell of fuel and engine oil hit you immediately, mixing with the faint scent of rubber from the tires. a few mechanics stood huddled around the open hood of the car, their heads bent in concentration.

you looked around, with your eyes eventually settling on a girl with a dark wine red, who glanced up when she noticed you approaching.

“y/n right? beomgyu said you were coming, i'm yunjin,” she greeted cheerfully bringing relief to your mind which was in its own way, racing. “here to get your hands dirty?”

you smiled back, feeling slightly more at ease with her laid-back demeanor. “yeah, that’s the plan,” you replied, though your voice still carried a hint of nervousness. beomgyu greeted you, while coming out of another room looking exasperated.

“what’s the situation with the engine?” you asked curiously.

beomgyu sighed, tossing the rag aside. “we’re looking at a potential misfire, could be an issue with the MGU-H, maybe something off with the ignition system. not even sure yet,”

he motioned toward the engine, the massive power unit exposed as wires and components sprawled out in a delicate maze of engineering.

you took a step closer, peering into the engine bay. the complexity of it was overwhelming, but also fascinating—an intricate system of components that, when functioning perfectly, powered the fastest cars on the planet.

you glanced over the mechanics’ shoulders, watching as they carefully inspected each connection, each part.

“so… where can i help?” you asked, feeling a little more confident now that you were in the thick of things, seeing how in some ways it looked familiar to the cars you had worked with.

beomgyu chuckled softly, his eyes scanning the engine before nodding toward a diagnostic tablet nearby. “we could use an extra set of eyes on the data. see if you can make sense of these readings. we’re trying to narrow down where the issue is coming from.”

you picked up the tablet, the screen displaying various engine parameters—temperatures, pressure readings, electrical currents. it was a lot to take in, but you focused, scrolling through the data while beomgyu and the others worked around you.

a few hours had passed, and just as you were starting to get into a rhythm, you heard footsteps approaching. looking up, you saw heeseung walking over, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern. he stopped beside you, glancing at the tablet in your hands.

“how’s it going, pretty?” he asked, his voice low.

the nickname caught you off guard and surprised you by how it flowed out so easily from him.

“it’s… a lot,” you admitted with a small laugh, holding up the tablet for him to see. “but i’m getting there. beomgyu’s been helping me figure it out.”

“i'm sure you’ll get it, i trust you,” he reassured with a warm smile. “more than beomgyu for the matter honestly,” he whispered secretively to you, holding a smirk.

“I HEARD THAT!” beomgyu shouted approaching the tall man, smiling.

you smiled seeing the childish interaction between the two of them, bickering back and forth. it felt familiar.

“mm pretty sure you didn’t but okay,” heeseung scoffed, starting to walk away, giving you a wink in the process, giving you an eruption of butterflies in your stomach.

this can’t just be a friendly thing right? you thought to yourself fighting an internal war in your head. a constant back and forth.

you watched him go, the air feeling a little lighter (ironically) without him nearby. you could finally think straight.

you focused back on the task at hand. working with beomgyu, you continued to pour over the data, narrowing down the possible issues.

after a while, something in the numbers caught your eye—a sudden dip in one of the electrical readings.

“hey, beomgyu, look at this,” you said, pointing to the screen. “could this be related to the MGU-H failure you mentioned?”

he leaned over, his eyes following where you pointed. “yeah… that’s definitely something. good catch.”

you felt a small surge of pride at his words, feeling a little more confident in your contribution now. hey, maybe it wasn’t all too bad hiring you. you had eyes that could catch a dip in a graph. what a relief!

heeseung went about his day busy with many other meetings about marketing and such with lots of new information to take in. honestly though, he was just waiting to get out of them and make it up to you through dinner, and the opportunity arose not long after you noticed him waiting for you outside the garage.

“hi, hee,” he could’ve sworn his heart was doing backflips and the thumping in his heart was audible.

“hi y/n, what’s up with the nickname?” he managed to respond, keeping his composure which seemed to be a lot harder than he had intended for it to be.

“mm just figured i should come up with something for you since you have something for me,” you explained softly, a shy smile fell over your face.

“is that okay..?” you asked after a few moments of no response or expression showing on his face. truthfully, he was still in shock you were bold enough to give him a nickname. a nickname he was in love with hearing it from your mouth.

“no yeah! call me whatever you’d like,” he smiled warmly, giving you a look of reassurance. to which you felt calmer, the second-guessing thoughts receding like the ocean and its shoreline.

“okay then, hee,” you repeated, testing it out again, your voice carrying a playful lilt as you gave him a quick, shy glance. the way the nickname rolled off your tongue made your heart flutter, and you couldn’t help the giggle that followed, light and soft, as if it was your own secret joke with him.

a rosy pink shade rose to his ears hearing it again. what he’d give to hear it over and over again like its own song. a moment of that familiar silence arose again, the slight breeze comforting alongside it.

“i think i have to get back to work, but i’ll see you around?” you broke the silence as reluctant as you were.

his smile didn’t falter, though inside he found himself wishing the moment would stretch on a little longer. “yeah, for sure,” he replied, his voice a little brighter, though his mind was already racing back to the swimming sessions he had to return to. the thought of going back to the simulator, locked in hours of tedious practice, wasn’t exactly thrilling, but it was necessary.

still, right now, all he wanted was to hold on to this little piece of time with you.

“good luck with practice,” you added with a small smile, your hand brushing slightly against his arm in a casual, fleeting gesture. the warmth of your touch lingered even as you stepped back, turning to leave.

“thanks,” he said, his voice softer now, watching you go with a quiet fondness. “see you soon.”

as you walked away, heeseung found himself staring after you for a moment longer than he should have. a part of him wanted to call you back, to find some excuse to keep talking, to hear you say his name just one more time. but instead, he sighed softly, shaking his head at himself.

“holy fuck, pull it together, she’s just a friend” he muttered under his breath, already dreading the simulator waiting for him. but even as he trudged back to the track, his thoughts kept circling back to you.

he didn’t know what would happen next, but he knew one thing for sure: he couldn’t wait to see you again.

─── ♡

one race to the next, it barely felt like you had any time. before you knew it, you already hopped on a plane to canada to prepare for the next race up ahead. the job has not been as expected, tiring to say the least but it felt rewarding in some aspects.

heeseung on the other hand, if you were tired, he was on a different level. sitting through meetings non stop, simulating to what felt 25/8. he was exhausted.

if there was any highlight however, it had to be seeing you throughout the day. the small waves you'd give him when seeing him around, to the small smiles you'd give him when you were a too busy.

y/n: hi! this is y/n, beomgyu gave me your number. want to grab dinner after you’re done? read 7:31pm

he would be lying if he didnt say he was elated to receive a text from you.

“is that your y/n?” jake asked, peering over heeseung’s shoulder to read the text catching him very much off guard.

“maybe,” he mumbled, trying to play it cool while already typing his response, his fingers dancing over the screen with a mix of excitement and nerves.

heeseung: hi, sounds good with me. read 7:35pm heeseung: i can get take out, and meet by the park nearby at 8 maybe? read 7:35pm

“and there goes our dinner plans,” jake teased, dramatically faking a sob as he leaned back in his chair. “he’s all grown up now.”

heeseung shot him a playful glare, trying to suppress a grin. it was hard not to feel a rush of happiness as he awaited your reply.

y/n: sure! read 7:36pm

heeseung hurriedly tossed his things into his bag, hands moving faster than his thoughts as he glanced at the time. he was already running late, and the last thing he wanted was to keep you waiting.

without much thought, he grabbed whatever was in reach—his keys, his jacket—and slung his bag over his shoulder.

on his way out, he made a quick stop at the food court, scanning the options with little patience. he settled for the first thing he saw—some greasy chinese takeout, barely giving it a second glance as he paid and rushed out.

i mean you can never go wrong with 5 hour old egg rolls, friend rice, and general tso’s chicken from someone who’s name was probably not even general tso’s.

it wasn’t the best choice, but he figured it would do. after all, it wasn’t about the food—it was about seeing you. or at least for him it was. he started praying on the way that you weren’t expecting some high quality 5 star food.

heeseung was practically speed-walking now, juggling the takeout bag in one hand and his phone in the other as he checked the time again. 7:53pm. he had a little time, but not enough to feel comfortable.

he couldn’t believe how much effort he was putting into something as simple as takeout and a park bench, but then again, this wasn’t just anyone—this was you.

as he neared the park, the familiar buzz of his phone snapped him out of his thoughts.

y/n: i’m here! just by the fountain :) read 7:55pm

his heart skipped a beat. you were already there, waiting for him. great, now i’m really late, he thought, quickening his pace.

he finally spotted you sitting on the edge of the fountain, your legs crossed, hands in your lap as you looked around, casually enjoying the evening air. the sight of you, illuminated by the soft glow of the park’s streetlights, made him momentarily forget about the cheap takeout in his hand or how rushed he felt just moments ago.

“hey!” he called out as he approached, trying to keep his voice steady. you turned at the sound, your face lighting up when you saw him.

“hi, hee,” you greeted with a warm smile. his stomach did a flip at the nickname, but he played it cool, grinning back as he held up the bag of takeout.

“so, i grabbed the finest chinese food this place had to offer,” he said sarcastically, shaking the greasy bag a little. “i’m talking five-star dining right here.”

you giggled, rolling your eyes. “well, i guess i’ll just have to take your word for it.”

he plopped down beside you on the fountain ledge, setting the bag between you two. the evening breeze picked up a little, cool but refreshing after the heat of the day. the city sounds in the background faded as you both settled into a comfortable silence, the atmosphere between you casual yet warm.

heeseung handed you a pair of chopsticks, and as you opened one of the boxes, the aroma hit both of you. “okay, this doesn’t smell half bad,” you teased, raising an eyebrow at him.

“i told you,” he chuckled. “general tso—whoever he is—knows his stuff.”

as you started eating, he stole a few glances at you, feeling strangely content in this moment. it wasn’t anything fancy or over-the-top, but sitting here with you, laughing over greasy takeout in the park—it felt right. like maybe this was something he could get used to.

“thanks for grabbing dinner,” you said after a while, your voice soft. “this is nice.”

“yeah, it is,” he replied, smiling to himself. “i’m just glad you didn’t expect anything too fancy.”

“oh, please,” you rolled your eyes. “this is perfect.” you continued enjoying the warm air around you in the dark night on a dim lit park bench.

and for a moment, everything felt simple. easy. just you, him, and some less-than-great chinese food, sharing a quiet evening together. nothing complicated. just two colleagues, friends you could say enjoying a nice dinner. the tension surrounding the two of you didn’t quite scream “friends” though.

you finished chewing the last bite of food which you had fought over, before starting conversation up again.

“thank you for tonight, i really appreciate you coming out here to have dinner,” you chuckled, cleaning up the mess of napkins, plastic forks and take-out boxes.

“of course, i had a great time, too, pretty,” the nickname rolled off his tongue naturally now, and he couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips as he said it.

your cheeks warmed at the way he said it so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world. you bit your lip, glancing down at the mess in your hands to avoid meeting his gaze for too long.

“i mean, who knew egg rolls could be so competitive,” you teased, trying to keep the mood light as you tossed the takeout boxes into the trash nearby.

heeseung chuckled, shaking his head. “you really fought for that last bite. i was impressed.” he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, eyes still locked on you with that same amused glint.

“hey, i take food seriously,” you joked, finally looking back at him, meeting his gaze fully this time. the comfortable, playful atmosphere was still there, but something about the moment felt… different. there was a weight to the way he was looking at you now, something deeper than just casual banter.

the silence stretched for a beat too long, not awkward, but charged with something unspoken. you shifted slightly, suddenly aware of how close the two of you were sitting on the fountain’s edge.

“so,” you said, breaking the silence, “i guess i’ll see you around soon?”

“of course,” letting go of that remaining syllable with hesitancy knowing this would be the end of tonight. he wasn’t quite ready for this quiet peace to end.

you walked back to your hotel, feeling a mix of excitement and exhaustion from the day’s events. luckily, it wasn’t too far from the park where you had spent the afternoon, a short stroll that allowed you to soak in the fading light of the sunset.

as soon as you had made it back to your hotel, you kicked off your shoes and threw yourself onto the hotel bed. you had way too many thoughts in your head, and figured you could call karina, the one person you know would love to hear about your life as of now.

“y/n!! it's been so long, how is the job?” you heard her chirp from the other end with a hint of curiosity eager to hear about your new busy life away from home.

“tiring to say the least,” you responded back exasperated from the extensive work with close to no time for yourself.

“well, chin up, this is your life for the next half year,” karina encouraged your anxious self. “tell me about heeseung boy you texted me about,”

a small smile crept onto your face at the mention of his name. “he’s… well, he’s great. really friendly and easy to talk to,” you began, your excitement bubbling to the surface, biting your tongue from saying any more not wanting to confirm any potential feelings you might have.

“just friendly, huh?” karina teased back at your word choice.

“come on, you know what i mean!” you shot back, laughing despite your embarrassment. “I just don’t want to assume anything. we’re just friends, i think that’s what he wants,”

“mmkay, whatever you say,”

─── ♡

and “just friends” you were. because friends always go out of their way to sneak in secret lunches away from their managers who could yell at them for not working effectively over the days spent preparing for this next grand prix.

friends always send quick glances to each other during team briefings, or share inside jokes that leave the rest of the team confused.

friends always feel a little thrill when their names light up each other's phone screen, a small buzz of excitement you tried to ignore every time you saw a message from him.

friends always hold eye contact with others for a second longer than they should.

and of course friends always end up sitting a little too close during those late-night hangouts, where your shoulders brush just enough to send a shiver down your spine, but you pretend not to notice.

wait, are you sure this is just friends?

yet, when someone like yunjin pointed it out, you brushed it off, unwilling to admit to anything beyond the friendship label. because that’s what it was, right? just friends.

friends who found excuses to be in the same place a little more often than necessary.

so "just friends" you stayed. at least, for now.

once again heeseung was back on the track, his first love if he's being honest. he slid on his helmet with a familiar weight settling on top of his head, muffling the world around him. he took a deep breath before sliding inside the familiar seat, his hands automatically flying to the wheel.

this was his space. his escape. the one place where everything made sense. hours of practice had led up this.

he rolled up to the starting position, the low hum of his engine vibrating beneath him, steadying his pulse. next to him, yeonjun from mclaren sat in his sleek orange car, radiating confidence, a clear rivalry showing through.

heeseung watched as the red lights above flickered out—

with a deafening roar, both cars shot forward, engines screaming as they tore down the track. heeseung’s grip tightened on the wheel as he surged ahead, adrenaline flooding his veins as the car hugged the asphalt.

he had the early lead as usual, but a glance in his mirrors showed yeonjun right behind him, too close for comfort.

the first turn approached fast, and heeseung swung into it, hugging the inside line. but yeonjun wasn’t giving him any breathing room. as they exited the turn, yeonjun accelerated aggressively, pulling up beside him, refusing to back down.

the straightaway stretched out before them, and yeonjun made his move. his car edged closer, pressing against heeseung’s, forcing him to the outside of the track. heeseung’s jaw clenched as he felt his car veer dangerously toward the barriers, the scraping of metal just inches away.

he’s pushing too hard, heeseung thought, heart pounding, but there was no room to hesitate. yeonjun was relentless, using every inch of the track to his advantage, leaving heeseung little space to maneuver.

they approached the second set of turns, and yeonjun cut in hard, practically shoving heeseung toward the edge again. the walls loomed dangerously close, and heeseung had no choice but to ease off for a split second, letting yeonjun take the inside line. frustration bubbled inside him as he watched the orange car pull ahead, but he wasn’t giving up yet.

heeseung pushed the gas, catching up on the straight, and for a brief moment, they were neck-and-neck. the final turn approached—a brutal, tight corner. this was it. heeseung braked late, swinging into the turn, but yeonjun held his ground, keeping just ahead.

coming out of the turn, yeonjun’s car edged in front by mere inches. the finish line was just ahead, and heeseung floored it, pushing his car to the absolute limit. both cars rocketed toward the line, tires screeching, engines roaring.

but it wasn’t enough.

yeonjun crossed first—just barely, but it was enough to secure the win.

heeseung slowed down, pulling into the pit lane, his heart still pounding from the intensity of the race.

He was pissed. he’d rarely ever get mad, but when it came to racing, he was pissed.

“i had that shit!” heeseung yelled furiously as soon as jake came to congratulate him for the high placing despite knowing heeseung was not going to be the least bit happy.

“you still won almost every other race this season, it's okay,” jake attempted to reassure him but to no avail heeseung mumbled out a string of curse words.

you approached him slowly seeing how upset he had been over this race. he immediately picked you apart from the crowd and you watched as his face softened upon seeing you.

“you did really great, okay? i'm sure you'll win the next one,” you smiled trying to force any bit of positivity out of yourself as encouragement.

“yeah, maybe,” his tone was sharper than usual. he hadn’t meant to raise his tone, but you could immediately tell his guilt after it had slipped out.

at that moment, you watched as yeonjun stepped out of his own car holding a victorious smile, smirking at heeseung and snorting. heeseung reacted with a string of curses.

“sorry about him, he’s not the best at taking losses,” jake apologized, casting a glance in heeseung’s direction. his tone was light, but there was an understanding behind his words, as he’d seen this side of heeseung before.

then, turning his attention to you, he extended his hand with a friendly smile. “i don’t think we’ve met properly, though? jake. it’s so nice to meet you,” he said warmly, his grip firm but welcoming as you shook his hand.

“y/n, really great to meet you too,” you greeted back holding a smile, neither of you having each other’s full attention as you both watched heeseung getting whisked away by the press for photos despite his scowl.

“thank you for putting up with him for this long,” jake chuckled with a more positive tone as compared to heeseung. honestly, finally gave him your full attention looking up at the man. and you could now very much understand why karina wanted you to have this job to begin with.

“well it's my job, he's actually quite nice though,” you replied back, a silence falling upon the both of you, not the same kind of comfortable silence though.

“so, are you two…?” jake asked, his voice lowered now that heeseung was out of earshot.

you blinked, caught off guard by the question. “no, wait, yes? honestly, i’m not sure,” you admitted, surprised at how easily the truth slipped out. jake’s expression stayed neutral, not even a hint of amusement crossing his face.

“hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully like he was entertaining the idea, but not giving much away.

“what?” you asked, feeling a bit defensive under his calm gaze.

“between you and me, and i guess heeseung,” jake leaned in slightly, lowering his voice, “he definitely thinks you’re something.” smiling at your stunned expression.

jake winked before glancing over and watching heeseung walk back a little more calm, before walking off himself to do his own interview.

“what’d that loser say?” heeseung asked, his voice full of concern. more specifically that jake would try something, although it wasn’t quite his character to.

“oh, um. nothing, i can't hear all too well in this crowd,” lie.

heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly not fully convinced but choosing not to press further. “okay,” he responded simply, his tone light, though there was a hint of suspicion in his eyes.

he let it go for now, shifting his attention back to the crowd around them, but the moment hung in the air, leaving you feeling like he might not buy your excuse.

to you though, you were still processing this little bit of information, but little did jake know this would be keeping you up in the dead of the night reevaluating all interactions. maybe you weren’t just friends.

─── ♡

heeseung told himself he wouldn’t let that small interaction bug him, but it did more often than he would like to. every small little thing reminded him of you. what did jake tell you that was so secret you couldn't tell him?

heeseung found himself replaying the moment over and over in his head. maybe it was nothing, maybe you were just being polite, but that little spark of doubt wouldn’t leave. it gnawed at him, making him question things he hadn’t even thought about before.

had he been too quick to assume you were not just friends? maybe you were less than friends itself.

maybe it was the way you’d smiled at jake. friendly, yes, but something in it made him wonder if there was more. what if you were talking behind his back? what if he didn’t know you as well as he thought?

he shook his head, trying to push the thoughts away. it’s nothing, he told himself. she wouldn’t do that.

but what if? what if there was more between you and jake, something he wasn’t a part of? something he didn’t know about?

the more he thought about it, the more irrational it all seemed, but the seed of doubt had already been planted. and it was growing.

work had piled on thicker and thicker, like heavy snowfall, leaving almost no time for yourself or even him. wait, why were you thinking of him at this time?

you didn’t come here to get a boyfriend; you came here for work.

work to fulfill your passion and get ahead in your career.

gain new experiences.

heeseung was a new experience, that much was true. but now, after everything that had happened, you couldn't help but wonder if maybe jake was wrong.

every time you greeted him in meetings or simply passed him in the hallways, his response was distant—almost colder than before. and it hurt more than you’d like to admit, especially because he’d been so warm when it was just the two of you.

had he changed his mind about you? was it all just a casual fling, or was he simply not interested anymore?

you couldn't help but think back to that conversation with jake. "he definitely thinks you're something." had jake been mistaken? had you read everything wrong? or was it possible that heeseung never really felt that way in the first place?

the doubts gnawed at you. you wished you could ask him, but you couldn't bring yourself to. maybe because you were afraid of hearing the truth. or maybe because you didn’t want to risk pushing him further away.

you found yourself constantly second-guessing every interaction with him now, analyzing every look, every word. was he just being polite? or was there something more?

maybe jake was wrong, you thought, but deep down, you knew you were hoping he wasn’t. because, if he was, that meant you were just… nothing. a distraction. someone who got in the way of his real focus.

the thought stung, but you pushed it down. you couldn’t afford to think like that.

“hey girl, are you doing okay?” yunjin asked you, snapping you out of your thought trance. while you were usually sharp and always open to talking, these days you seemed to be very lost in thought while working.

“i don't know, there's too many thoughts going through my head,” you mumbled out as a response. you didn't want to dump your emotions on a poor colleague but she seemed so inviting and open to talk to despite your doubt.

“listen girl, if it were me, nothing beats drowning those thoughts out with alcohol, every once in a while,” yunjin chuckled, presenting a new door to you. you shook your head, getting wasted didn’t sound the most “fun” to you personally.

“okay, well just hear me out. a couple of the drivers and their staff are going out to a club for a change of pace, it’ll be a great networking opportunity and a great distraction, you should come,” yunjin persuaded, urging you.

she paused, raising an eyebrow as if to drive her point home, then added with a mock sigh, "plus, i don't want to deal with beomgyu alone. you know how he gets it."

you glanced at her, feeling the weight of the long days and constant demands pressing down on you. the thought of letting loose, even just for a few hours, was tempting. the last few weeks have been all work, no play. no room for any of the things you used to enjoy—no time to relax, or… think.

"you know, it's been a while since i've gone out," you said, your voice soft, almost uncertain. you didn’t know if it was the exhaustion or the constant racing thoughts, but the idea of spending a night away from all this chaos sounded like something you could use.

yunjin caught the shift in your tone and grinned wider. “exactly! we could use a break. plus, who knows? you might meet someone interesting. networking, remember?" she winked, a playful glint in her eyes.

you chuckled at the thought, but your mind was still stuck on heeseung. had he really been that distant lately?

you shook your head slightly, trying to shake off the thought. maybe this night out could be just what you needed to stop overthinking things.

"alright, alright," you sighed, giving in. "i’ll go. but only because you begged me."

yunjin beamed, her eyes lighting up with a victorious gleam. "perfect! let's get ready then. it's going to be fun, you'll see."

as you both started to make plans, a small part of you wondered if a night out would really be enough to clear your head. but for now, the idea of getting away, even just for a little bit, was a welcome relief.

later that night you slipped on whatever cheap thrifted dress you could find at the nearby store and waited for yunjin and beomgyu outside the club.

“she actually showed up, told you. $20 bucks now,” yunjin demanded, extending an open hand to beomgyu, waving to you with the other, to which beomgyu grumbled and pulled out his wallet.

as you stepped in, the thick crowd greeted you—a sea of bodies moving to the rhythm, lights strobing in every direction, and laughter mingling with the music. the noise seemed to swallow everything, every thought, every worry. it was almost too much.

but you were here now, caught in the whirlwind of it all, with beomgyu and yunjin leading the way through the crowd.

"let’s grab drinks first!" yunjin shouted above the music, making her way to the bar without even waiting for a reply. beomgyu followed closely, his eyes scanning the area as he pushed through people.

you glanced around, your mind still buzzing, but you couldn't shake the sense that even in this chaotic, loud atmosphere, your thoughts would still drift back to the same place—the one you’d been trying to forget.

“hi there, what can i get started on your tab?”

“something light, maybe fruity, i don't really drink,” you yelled over the loud music which swallowed up your voice whole, the bartender nodding as a response.

“make it two! put it on my tab,” an unfamiliar voice called out behind you, as you turned around to thank the patron you were taken aback.

choi yeonjun?

"uh… thank you?" you said cautiously, unsure how to react. your confusion must have shown because his smile widened, but it seemed to lack the usual competitive edge you'd seen from him before.

"of course, beautiful," he said, his voice smooth and calm, a stark contrast to the chaotic atmosphere around you. "come sit with me?".

your mind was racing. why was he here? you barely knew him outside of the competition, and even then, heeseung had never seemed to hold a conversation with him that lasted more than a few words, usually being some string of “hes an asshole”, or “he needs to fuck off,”

you glanced around for a second—yunjin was too far off, lost in conversation with beomgyu. the booth in front of you seemed too quiet, too intimate for the tension that lingered between the two of you.

“uh, sure,” you said, hesitating. despite the oddness of the situation, you found yourself following him as he led the way to a secluded booth in the back, away from the crowded dance floor.

as you sat down, the silence settled between you, but it wasn't uncomfortable. more like… expectant. you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to this than just a friendly offer for a drink.

"so," yeonjun began, his voice surprisingly calm, "fancy seeing you here. not exactly where i’d expect to run into someone from the pit crew."

you raised an eyebrow, still trying to wrap your head around why he was talking to you at all. "yeah, not really where i expected to see you either," you replied, unable to hide the confusion in your tone.

yeonjun’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he leaned back in his seat, seemingly unfazed by the strange situation. "well, considering the rivalry, i guess we’re both out of our element, huh?"

it was a strange thing to say, and the silence stretched between you. you had no idea how to respond to that. after all, the only thing you'd ever known about him was how heeseung spoke of him—a rival. someone who pushed him, someone who made things harder.

but here he was, calm and collected, sitting in front of you, offering drinks like nothing was out of place.

you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to this than just a friendly chat. and something about it irked you.

“yeah i guess,” you replied dryly.

heeseung would love to be anywhere but here. preferably in your presence, but he was still uncertain and doubtful of you. even more so when he sees choi fucking yeonjun chatting you up and giggling over any little thing you say.

filled with a new kind of anger, he threw back any remaining alcohol in his glass as he stood up from his seat.

“hey wait, you shouldn’t stand up so fast. you just threw back one of their strongest, calm down,” jake makes an attempt to pull heeseung down by the cuff of his leather jacket.

heeseung rips his arm away preparing for confrontation; to yell at yeonjun. afterall he had some residual pent up rage from earlier.

"why the fuck are you talking to y/n?" he shouted, his voice rising above the throbbing beat of the music, sharp and aggressive. every muscle in his body was coiled tight, ready for confrontation.

you, yourself were taken aback, more so than yeonjun was.

yeonjun didn’t flinch, his expression calm, almost amused as he leaned back in his seat. he was still too comfortable, too unbothered. "what?" he shouted over the music, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. "i can talk to whoever i want. why the hell does it concern you?"

"because it does concern me!" heeseung growled, taking a step forward. his voice was low, almost dangerous now, as the tension between the two men thickened like smoke. "she's not some random girl for you to flirt with, yeonjun."

yeonjun raised an eyebrow, his smirk only growing wider. "flirt?" he repeated, his voice dripping with mock amusement. "you think i was flirting with her?"

"you're always so dramatic, heeseung," he said, his tone almost playful now. "maybe you're more worried than you'd like to admit."

you could see it in his eyes, that challenge. and now you couldn't help but wonder what was really going on between these two, or why heeseung's sudden rage was so deep-seated.

yeonjun laughed, the sound harsh and bitter, like it was meant to get under heeseung’s skin. "you’ve got some serious issues if you think i'm only talking to her to get to you," he replied, leaning back into his chair, unaffected by the tension.

"you’re still acting like this is just some game, aren’t you?" heeseung growled, stepping forward until he was almost in yeonjun’s face. "you think you can just waltz in here, throw a few compliments, and toy with her heart?"

yeonjun’s eyes flickered with amusement, but his smirk was sharp, venom filled. "so? what’s it to you?" he taunted, his voice low and challenging. "you like her or something?"

"it’s none of your business," heeseung spat, but even he could hear the edge of doubt in his own voice.

"why are you so mad?" yeonjun cut him off, an eyebrow raised in mock curiosity. "because i talked to her? or because you’re scared she’s actually interested in me?"

heeseung’s chest heaved with every breath, his mind racing. "don’t play with her, yeonjun," he growled, voice low and dangerous. "she’s not a prize for you to win. she’s not a game."

"so you do like her," yeonjun said, his smirk widening. "funny, because you’re still acting like you’re scared to admit it. pussy. you do like her.”

heeseung felt the heat rise to his cheeks, his frustration and confusion colliding into a mess of tangled emotions. "no," he said, voice coming out sharper than he meant. "she just deserves better than you, that's all."

as soon as the words escaped his lips, his entire body froze. no. he hadn’t meant to say it like that. he hadn’t meant to say no.

heeseung felt his stomach drop as your eyes widened, brows knitting together in surprise. the confusion on your face mirrored his own. he wanted to take the words back. wanted to grab them out of the air before they settled between you like a thick, suffocating fog.

no. he just said no.

you just wished the ground would swallow you whole as your throat constricted and your mouth went dry.

he took a step back, swallowing hard, his hands fidgeting. "y/n—" he started, but his voice was swallowed by the music, drowned out by the chaos around them.

you shook your head, a look of uncertainty clouding your expression. "no, I—" you started, but you couldn’t find the right words either. you were as lost in this conversation as he was.

you stood off, running towards the exit praying you could make it back to your hotel without embarrassing yourself any further. you heard heeseung's footsteps run to catch up with you, pulling you back by your sweater.

you stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what to say. and then, after what felt like an eternity, you spoke. "you didn’t mean that, right?"

heeseung’s heart dropped. "no," he muttered, shaking his head desperately. "I didn’t mean it like that. I—"

but the words felt hollow, meaningless now. the damage had been done.

“heeseung, you don't get it do you? you don't just get to lead me on, call me pretty, bring takeout whenever i don't have it in me to get my own food, all for you to say no. fuck off,” you confront to his face. he looks like he wants to say more, but it's no longer about defending himself.

he fucked up.

“oh no, looks like she’ll need someone to comfort her, how about you sit this one out hm?” yeonjun mocked back giving a fake pout, running up to her to escort her out.

heeseung couldn’t meet your eyes as you looked back a final time for anything you could tell from his face. he was afraid of what he might see. afraid you’d realize the truth, the mess he had made out of everything.

yunjin quickly took notice and rushed outside to check on you, sending yeonjun back to the club to chat up whatever other girls there were.

she found you sitting on the low wall outside the club, your arms wrapped around yourself as you stared into the night. the cool breeze did nothing to calm the tension in your chest.

“y/n, you good?” she asked, crouching down beside you.

you didn’t look up. “yeah. just… a lot, i guess.”

yunjin let out a sigh, her expression softening. “you sure? yeonjun can be a little… much.”

“it’s not him,” you mumbled, shaking your head. “it’s… everything else. heeseung, and the way things are getting weird between us.”

yunjin was quiet for a beat, processing your words, she had a lot of questions going on in her mind, but right now all you needed was comfort. “weird? in what way?”

“like… i don’t even know. i’m starting to think i might be imagining it all,” you admitted, your voice low and uncertain.

she tilted her head, thinking. “you’re not imagining it. there’s something between you two. but maybe… he’s just scared of it too. or he doesn’t know how to handle it.”

you looked at her, frustration laced with confusion. "what if i'm the only one who feels it?"

“then let him catch up,” yunjin said, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. “he’ll figure it out eventually. if he’s smart.”

you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh.

he had no idea how to fix this.he wasn’t even sure if it was possible at this point.

─── ♡

the next race approached slower than ever and heeseung was nowhere in the right mindset for this race. he considered telling his manager he wasn't fit, but he couldn't succumb to what yeonjun would want him to do.

everything was slipping through his fingers—his focus, his drive, his very reason for being here, but most importantly you.

he hasn't seen you any more than once after you had walked out of the club with tears streaming down your face. all he heard was you were moved to jake’s pit crew for the time being.

his motivation was lower than ever

he stared at the car in front of him, but it felt like he was looking through it, not at it. every tool, every dial, every piece of equipment that should have been familiar, had suddenly become a reminder of everything he felt like he was losing. and it wasn’t just the race. it was you. it was him—yeonjun.

"heeseung, you’re not fit to race today, are you?" his manager asked, his voice slicing through the thick fog of his thoughts. "you look off. need to talk about it?"

he couldn’t fall apart. not like this. but the weight of it all was suffocating. the thought of telling his manager he wasn’t fit to race seemed like the easy way out. and yeonjun would love that, wouldn’t he? he'd love to see him crumble. love to see him give in, admit defeat.

no. he couldn’t.

but damn it, he was tired. his heart felt like it was being pulled in too many directions, each one pulling him further away from where he needed to be.

he couldn’t quit.

he wouldn’t quit.

but why did it feel like he was already losing?

"you good?" his manager asked again, his voice softer now, seeing the frustration in his expression.

heeseung nodded, forcing a smile, but it was thin. fragile. "yeah, just… a little tired."

he rolled up to the starting position once again, surprised at how he even made it through qualifiers with this low motivation.

the race started, but it felt like heeseung wasn’t really there. as the lights went out, the cars roared to life, but his mind was a million miles away. the engine roared, but his thoughts drowned it out.

he took off in the pack, but he felt sluggish, disconnected. his hands gripped the steering wheel, but it was like they were moving on their own, not in sync with his racing instincts. he knew he should have been focusing on the track, on the turns, but instead, his mind kept circling back to everything but the race.

yeonjun. the argument. you. the way things had changed.

heeseung felt the weight of it all settle into his chest. every corner seemed a little sharper, every move a little slower. his car didn’t feel right. or maybe it was just him. maybe he wasn’t right.

it didn’t take long for yeonjun to slip past him, and that just made it worse. heeseung clenched his jaw, but instead of retaliating, he just let his car drift further behind. the familiar rush of competition wasn’t there. it felt more like a slow-motion crash waiting to happen.

every lap was torture. he could hear the radio buzzing in his ear, but it sounded like static. his mind was a jumble of thoughts, and none of them were about racing.

by the halfway point, heeseung was already at the back of the pack.

he wasn’t focused. he wasn’t present. and it hurt to admit it, but deep down, he knew he wasn’t giving it his all.

“annnnd yeonjun wins yet another grand prix,” “heeseung is really off his game today” “yeonjun really is better, you were right,”

the comments from the crowd, press, and fans were eating him alive, more so than being away from you.

back at the hotel, heeseung thinks back to what everyone’s been telling him earlier. you were only in for one season.he only had til the end of the season to pull something off.

he was determined to win you back before the season ended and you went back home to where he might not ever see you again. he only had 167 days, but he was determined to race for your heart, and win you back.

─── ♡

you glanced down at the engine in front of you, the pieces more familiar than they used to be. the way everything clicked together, the hum of the motor, the fine-tuned adjustments—it was all starting to make sense now.

working on jake’s car felt different, though. not in a bad way, just… different. you caught yourself missing the way heeseung’s car seemed to fit you. the precision with which you had become familiar with it—the way you almost felt like you could predict its needs without thinking.

but today, with jake’s car, you were making small mistakes. not big ones, but enough to frustrate you. the adjustments didn’t come as easily, the instinct wasn’t there like it was with heeseung’s.

and there it was again—another thing that reminded you of him.

you couldn't shake it. everything came back to him—whether it was the car, the track, or just the way he used to talk to you like he didn’t need to say everything. like you just knew what he was thinking.

you sighed, wiping your hands on the rag and trying to refocus. no, it wasn’t about him. it couldn’t be. you were here to work, to get better.

it started with roses being delivered to your hotel room. sure they wouldn’t last due to your busy schedule and your poor ability to take care of flowers, but it was the thought that counts.

your phone buzzed and you dreadingly opened it to find a text from him. your heart sank, ashamed at the way it still beat a little faster when seeing his name.

heeseung: hope we can talk sometime, enjoy the flowers. don’t feel pressured to respond or anything. read 6:42 am.

you sighed and closed your phone. at least he kept in mind that you wouldn't want to reply.

over the next few weeks, things fell into a strange rhythm. races continued, engines roared, and the work never stopped. but there was an undeniable difference in the air—like the world was quieter somehow.

the excitement of the grand prixs, once a rush of adrenaline and passion, felt more distant now, less meaningful without the comfort of the familiar faces you once shared them with.

you found yourself in cities you once dreamed of visiting, but this time they felt a little less magical. belgium, with its food you could feast on from the eyes only, no longer held its allure.

a part of you was wishing you could go back to the times when everything felt like an adventure—when heeseung would call to ask if you wanted to grab a drink or wander the streets after a long day.

but now, there was an empty space where that spark used to be. you were still going through the motions—working with jake, troubleshooting engine issues, spending your days in the pit—but your mind always drifted back to him.

the quiet messages that arrived every so often did little to ease the weight on your chest. they felt like an attempt to reconnect, but they never fully erased the hurt.

in the netherlands, you received another delivery—this time, a box of sweets with a note that simply said “thinking of you”. you hadn’t responded to the previous messages, but heeseung’s attempts were constant. his name still lit up your phone, and every time you saw it, there was a flutter in your chest, though you hated how easily it pulled you in.

at the next grand prix in austria, you saw him briefly. he was standing by his car, talking to the crew, his jaw clenched in concentration. when his eyes landed on you, there was a moment—just a second—where everything seemed to stop.

but before you could look away, heeseung turned back to his car, his shoulders tense, and you knew that talking wouldn’t be easy. you didn’t even know if he was ready to face you yet.

so, you didn’t approach him.

you told yourself it was better that way.

the text messages continued, though. a late-night text about the race in belgium. a message wishing he could see you before the dutch grand prix. small gestures that, at their core, were attempts to remind you that he was still there, still thinking of you. but they were hollow to you.

you hadn’t responded to a single one. the last time you had heard his voice had been that awkward conversation after the club in barcelona, and things hadn’t gotten better since then.

still, the flowers kept coming—different varieties, different colors. sometimes roses, sometimes peonies. each one a reminder of the distance between you two. each one a reminder of what had changed.

in germany, during a pause between practice rounds, jake leaned over, handing you a cup of coffee. “you gonna talk to him anytime soon?” he asked, glancing over at heeseung, who was deep in conversation with his team.

you sighed, taking a sip of the coffee and looking down at the pit floor. “not yet.”

“you know he’s trying, right?”

you didn’t answer. because, honestly, you weren’t sure. maybe heeseung was trying. maybe the roses, the texts, the little gestures meant something. but the hurt from the way things ended was still too fresh, and you weren’t sure if you could get over it.

the next grand prix was in italy, and as the days passed, you kept your distance, both physically and emotionally. the tension between you and heeseung was unspoken but ever-present.

he would look over at you from time to time, his gaze lingering for just a second before he turned away. you hated how much it hurt to see him. you hated how much you wanted things to go back to the way they were, but you couldn’t ignore the walls that had been built between you two.

you began to doubt if heeseung even knew how to fix things. and maybe that was the hardest part. you were waiting for him to make the right move, but the longer you waited, the more you wondered if he would ever really try.

─── ♡

you weren’t sure how much more you could take. burying yourself in work hadn’t helped, but at least it kept your mind busy.

the constant races and late nights in the garage were wearing you down. the machines felt familiar, but the work felt hollow now.

your phone buzzed constantly with notifications you didn’t want to see. and yet, when you saw his name, your heart betrayed you every time.

the roses had been a small gesture, but it didn’t make you feel better. they were just another reminder of how things had fallen apart.

you closed your phone with a sigh. you didn’t want to talk, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to cut him off completely.

after a long summer, the weight of everything seemed unbearable. a messy explanation to your boss, and you were on a plane home. you needed to be away from everything to do with lee heeseung.

home felt like a strange comfort, a place where everything was still. the noise of work and racing faded as soon as you stepped through the door.

you needed the space to breathe, but even here, heeseung lingered in the back of your mind.

the familiarity of home was soothing, but it also reminded you how far you’d drifted from everything.

you couldn’t shake the feeling that things were left unresolved. no matter how much time passed, the questions still remained.

the first thing you did of course? tell karina everything. your one safe lifeline who had been there through your ups and downs and unfortunately had to see you through another one of your downs and it hurt for her to see as much as it hurt for you to experience yourself.

you two sat on the couch, the familiar weight of the silence between you, before you spoke up.

"i don't even know where to start," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

karina glanced at you, her brow furrowed in concern. "you don't have to start anywhere. just tell me what happened."

you let out a shaky breath, feeling the pressure rise in your chest. "it’s heeseung, karina. i thought… i thought it was something real. but now i’m just… i don’t know what we even are anymore."

karina's hand rested on yours. "what do you mean? what happened?"

you felt the flood of emotions, the frustration, the hurt, all pouring out. "he keeps sending these messages, these little gestures like nothing’s changed, but everything’s changed, and i don’t know if i can just go back to how things were." you managed to hiccup out tears, your nose stinging trying to hold back tears.

karina’s expression softened. “you deserve more than that, y/n. if he’s not being clear with you, then maybe it’s time you start focusing on what’s best for you, not waiting around for him to figure it out.”

you sighed, wiping at your eyes. "i know, i just… i don’t want to give up on him, i need a sign, i'm so confused,”

“i'm here for you, okay?"

you nodded, feeling a small sense of relief in her comfort.

it was then you heard a knock on the door of your apartment, the two of you looking confused.

“did you order food?” she asked curiously trying to put the pieces together of why there was a door knock. you shake your head and watch as she gets up from the couch to see who it is.

you peer around the corner hoping to get a look at who it might be, but your ears find out sooner than your eyes.

“JAKE FUCKING SIM?” you heard karina shout. you stand up quickly rushing to the door to see for yourself, and there he is, in the flesh at your apartment door.

“jake? what are you doing here?” you asked stunned to why your boss (in a way) is here and not in italy preparing for the races ahead.

“we got wind from yunjin and beomgyu you went back, and he wanted to see you. he’s at some park he said was nearby,” he states matter of factly, annoyed that his best friend made him come along to sort out his girl issues.

“oh. okay.” well now there was really no avoiding it. he had flown all the way back to talk to you, and in a way made your heart pound a little faster knowing he had done all of that.

karina was still in shock at seeing her celebrity crush standing right at your doorstep, her mouth agape. this sparked an idea, and you were more than thankful for karina being there for you.

“jake, this is your first time here in this city, no? karina why don't you show him around town?” you suggest, watching karina turn pink and giggle, jake seeming non opposed to it.

karina dropped you off at the closest park you could think of, you weren't quite ready enough to text him and ask where, but lo and behold there he was. nervously waiting, bouncing his leg anxiously to see if you would even show up.

he looks up from his phone and immediately shoves it in his pocket, his full attention on you.

“hey,” you greeted, trying to keep the tension out of your voice as you approached the bench.

heeseung looked up, his eyes flicking over your face with a mix of uncertainty and hope. “hey,” he replied, his voice low but soft. “thanks for meeting me.”

“i didn’t think you’d want to see me,” he murmured, looking at his hands.

you shook your head. “it’s not about wanting or not wanting, heeseung. it’s about sorting things out.”

“i’m sorry, y/n,” heeseung said after a long pause. his voice was low, almost pained. “i’ve been… i’ve been a mess, and i need to apologize for how i acted.”

“i… i fucked up,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “when i said… when i said no that day, i didn’t mean it. i didn’t mean it at all.”

your heart skipped a beat. the memory of that day, when heeseung had said no—when you had thought it was over, when everything had crumbled around you—came rushing back. you had been confused, hurt, feeling like you’d been cast aside, and all the emotions you had pushed aside came flooding back in that moment.

“what do you mean ‘you didn’t mean it’?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

heeseung ran a hand through his hair, frustration and guilt clear in his expression. “i… i was scared. scared of how much i felt for you. scared of how real everything was getting, i got scared of yeonjun, honestly, i didn't want to admit it in front of him of all times, and i wanted it to be special,”

“because you are special, it wasn’t a no because i didn’t care. it was a no because i was too scared to say what i really felt. but i’m here now. i’m not running away this time, and i'm going to do it right,” he continued on trying to compose himself and complete his sentences.

“i was scared when you and jake were talking that day in canada, scared of what you might've said after i lost, and i know it's silly-”

“i wasn’t being honest either,” you continued, the weight of your words settling between you. “jake told me… he said you saw us going somewhere beyond just 'friends'.” you paused, swallowing hard. “and that scared me.”

you glanced at him briefly, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly as you let out a shaky breath. your heart raced, but you forced yourself to keep going.

“i'm sorry for just running and never letting you explain yourself. i was too selfish in not wanting myself to get hurt, i never heard you out,” you sniffle out. the air surrounding the two of you is raw and full of emotion, but it's what's needed.

"we can try again," he said softly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "if you're willing. no more running."

you bit your lip, holding back a small, relieved laugh as your heart swelled. "yeah," you said, nodding. "no more running."

heeseung leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone. "i’m sorry for all of it. for not being honest with you sooner. for not being there when you needed me."

you shook your head, a smile breaking through. "i’m sorry too," you whispered, finally feeling the weight of it all lift. "for not trusting you."

there was a long pause before you both let out a breath, as if some invisible weight had been lifted. the park bench beneath you both felt like a safe place, a starting point for whatever was coming next.

you both had been through your fair share of confusion and misunderstandings, but now, as the conversation unraveled, it felt like the beginning of something new.

heeseung reached for the takeout bag beside him and handed it to you with a small smile. "i know it’s not five-star, but… i thought it might be fitting," he said with a slight laugh. "our first dinner together."

you couldn’t help but laugh, your heart warming at the gesture. "you remembered," you teased, taking the bag from him.

"of course i did," he said softly, his eyes lingering on yours.

for the first time in a while, the tension between you melted, leaving a sense of calm in its place. the night was still young, but now it didn’t feel like it was filled with uncertainty.

─── ♡

things were finally back in motion, and the atmosphere had shifted. the team seemed lighter, more energized with each race. heeseung had you by his side, his lucky charm, and it felt like everything was falling into place again.

after a push from jake, the managers agreed to reassign you back to heeseung’s pit crew, and you couldn’t be happier. the excitement of working with him again was undeniable, and heeseung’s spirit's seemed higher every time you were in the garage together.

the long summer had passed, and heeseung had found his rhythm again. he was more confident, his focus sharper, and you couldn’t help but smile at how much he’d grown. it wasn’t just work; you two were becoming closer outside of the races, too.

fall had come and gone, and the competition had never been fiercer. heeseung and yeonjun were neck-and-neck, trading wins as if they were competitors in a never-ending battle. mclaren and ferrari, back and forth, each race felt like the next turning point.

as the final race approached, the excitement in the air was electric. everyone was asking the same question—who would come out on top? the reigning champion, lee heeseung, or the new rising star, choi yeonjun?

you could feel the pressure building. heeseung was more focused than ever, his energy a blend of intensity and determination. the weight of the championship was heavy on both drivers, but you could tell heeseung was ready.

“we’ve got this,” heeseung said, glancing over at you. the quiet confidence in his voice gave you the reassurance you needed.

you nodded, giving him a small smile. “just like always.”

the race started, and the tension was palpable. every turn, every lap, it felt like the world was holding its breath. yeonjun was a fierce competitor, but you could see how well heeseung was handling the pressure.

the final laps approached, and the two drivers were locked in a battle for the lead. you watched, heart pounding, as they fought to the finish line.

it all came down to this. one final push for the championship, and it was anyone’s game.

your stomach dropped. you couldn’t hear the roar of the crowd, couldn’t see the final push, but you could feel it in your chest, as if the very air around you was holding its breath.

and then, in one seamless motion, heeseung swerved into the inside line. he was gaining, inching closer to yeonjun. the tension was unbearable, every second dragging on forever.

with the finish line just a few meters away, heeseung’s car crossed it, just barely ahead of yeonjun’s.

“LEE HEESEUNG CROSSES THE LINE 0.479 SECONDS AHEAD OF CHOI YEONJUN MAKING HIM YOUR 2024 FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPION!”

heeseung quickly and eagerly comes to a stop and gets out of the car with a wide grin on his face as yeonjun holds a bitter scowl.

as yeonjun passes by to get water he mutters foul words to heeseung but he could care less as his full attention is on you, who he sees running towards him, jumping for a hug.

“you did it hee! i'm so proud of you, you deserve it the most!” you shout with glee.

heeseung grinned, his eyes sparkling with exhaustion and relief as he pulled you into a tight embrace. the weight of the world seemed to lift off his shoulders, and in that moment, everything felt perfect.

“thank you, pretty,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the noise of the pit. "you’ve been with me through it all."

you pulled back slightly, your hands still resting on his shoulders, searching his face. the adrenaline from the race still buzzed between you, but now, it was just the two of you, standing in the middle of all the chaos, sharing something far more intimate.

“i mean it, hee. you worked so hard for this, and you earned every single bit of it,” you said, your words filled with genuine admiration.

heeseung’s smile faltered just for a moment, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. "i couldn’t have done it without you." his voice was soft, but there was an intensity behind it that made your heart skip a beat.

“i’ve been meaning to ask though, be my girlfriend? i don't think i can deal with this no label ‘friendship’” he smiles cupping your face grinning up at you. he already knows the answer.

“of course,” you smile with pride

your eyes locked, and for a second, it felt like time stood still. the world around you faded into the background. it wasn’t about the race anymore, not about the trophy, but about the two of you standing there, sharing a moment you both desperately needed.

heeseung leaned in slightly, his face inches from yours. the air between you felt charged with something unspoken, and the weight of everything that had built up between you finally settled.

you didn’t pull away. instead, you let yourself be enveloped by the warmth of his presence, the comfort of knowing you were both here, together, after everything.

you felt his lips press onto yours, gentle yet electrifying, as if the world around you had disappeared. everything was quiet except for the soft hum of the celebration in the distance.

it was brief, but it felt like everything you’d been holding back for so long was finally let go. when he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, and for the first time in a long time, there was peace between you.

“you’re not alone in this,” you murmured softly, your voice just above a whisper.

heeseung’s expression softened even more, his hand still resting on your cheek, his thumb brushing across your skin. “i know,” he breathed out, his lips barely touching yours.

it was a moment, a simple one, but one that felt like everything was finally falling into place.

─── ♡

that night the two of you went out for your signature couple meal, shitty chinese take out, enjoying it in the trunk of his car on the beach underneath the stars above you.

the night air was cool, but the warmth between you two kept everything just right. after the chaos of the race, you found solace in the simple act of being together, eating takeout in the back of his car as the waves lapped gently against the shore.

"this feels perfect," you said, leaning back against the car, taking in the quiet beauty of the night.

heeseung smiled, glancing at you from across the small space, his fingers absentmindedly toying with a fry. "yeah, it does. just… us."

the stars above glittered, a silent reminder of how far you'd come since the beginning. no more confusion, no more running away. just the two of you, figuring it out together, one race at a time.

"we should do this more often," you murmured, your voice soft but content.

"definitely," he agreed, his hand finding yours and giving it a gentle squeeze.

as the last eggroll was eaten and the takeout box was tossed aside, you both leaned back and stared up at the sky. there was no need for words now, no more doubts. just the sound of the ocean, the warmth of the night, and the certainty that whatever came next, you'd face it together.

─── ♡

a/n: im surprised i managed to write this much, halfway through writing this i was searching up the name and apparently someone on wattpad wrote a racer fic with the same name, AND starring heeseung. swear i was not copying, on skibidi ☝️. THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH to @hyuukais for beta reading this fic in its monstrosity. anyways hope you guys enjoy the fic cause im sick n tired of being sick n tired if writing this fic ><

@ coqhee 2024. all rights reserved.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Initially I was thinking that Noah also decided to "date" the two of them to act as a wedge between the pair, because if Heather and Alejandro could ever look past their rivalry and learn to work together they'd dominate the competition. And also because Two Very Hot People are essentially saying he's their 'ideal' partner out of the options presented; this is hilarious and a huge stroke to his ego, of course he's going to play along.

So he's essentially acts as an Aleheather 🐔block and, as a Good Boyfriend (it may be a ruse but he has standards, thank you very much, if he's going to be someone's fake boyfriend he's going to be a Good Fake Boyfriend), validates the two when they go on rants about the other in an attempt to keep their rivalry going, among other things. Which only works to further endear him to the both of them, unbeknownst to Noah, because he's a surprisingly supportive partner in his own weird lazy, snarky way.

When they inevitably discover he's been "playing both sides" so to speak, Noah's pretty sure his goose is cooked. Two of the strongest players gunning for his elimination after learning he's tricked them both? Of course he's the next to go. Except at team CIRRRRH's/the next elimination ceremony (depending on if this is pre or post merge), Noah isn't the one who's voted out? He shoots a tentative glance towards Alejandro only to see the Spaniard already watching him with unreadable eyes. His own dart away quickly.

Alejandro beckons for his "boyfriend" to follow him after the ceremony is finished, leading the pair to the cargo hold where Heather is already waiting. The two corner him against one of the crates and Noah's extremely thankful he rewrote his last will and testament whilst working for Chris because he's pretty sure he's about to be murdered, but the duo explain that they're impressed with his cunning- keeping them at each others' throats with the two of them none the wiser, cosying himself up to the both of them and breaking into their defences, making them both catch feelings for a pathetic little nerd- and want to offer a deal.

Noah can carry on being their shared partner and using that big brain of his to scheme along with them, helping them rule the competition, or they'll do worse than eliminate him (they won't, the two of them are regrettably Down Bad for him too intrigued by him at this point to want him gone, but the threat works).

So he becomes their shared boy toy third partner in crime, a Power Throuple if you will, working together with them to orchestrate elaborate plans that sabotage the others and/or guarantee their next 'victim' is eliminated. And it's... surprisingly fun? He initially landed himself in this situation to abate his boredom, so in the end he kind of got what he wanted? Even if he does initially feel kind of scummy about the whole 'sabotage' thing. Heather and Alejandro justify it as simply being part of the social game- after all, there's a million dollars on the line, you'd be stupid not to play to your advantages.

He's under no illusions that he'll make it to the finale, of course, but he's oddly okay with letting his two partners duke it out at the finish line. That doesn't mean he isn't plotting ways to win the million for himself. But he won't be heartbroken if he finds himself voted out sooner rather than later (similar to how MK reacted to her s2 elimination, he kind of expects it so there's no harm no foul) and he'll be rooting for the two of them to win.

Especially since he's, like, 90% certain he could get whoever wins to spoil him rotten with their prize money. He's going to live out his dreams as a trophy husband.

february has blessed me with The Sickness (i'm down with it) so apologies for not posting much these past couple days

anyway i'm still waiting for someone to write that alenoaheather fake dating au where both heather and alejandro pretend to date noah- the least intolerable person on the plane besides each other- to make the other jealous and noah Lets It Happen because it's funny and he has nothing better to do (he's read all of his books and now he's bored)

[bepp-ers]

yknow what? we need more yandere obey me in here. here are some headcanons for living with the yandere brothers!! requests are always open! <3

headcanons and general thoughts for yandere! obey me! swd? part 1 - brothers. gonna do a part 2 for dateables, will link here when done

When you first arrived in the Devildom, you weren't expecting the brothers to be like this at all.

Sure, as demons, they weren't gonna act like people, but this? This was just too much.

The first to... fall for you was Mammon, obviously. He was clingy, and almost treated you like a trophy.

It was a bit cute, at first.

"Look how cute me 'n MC look! We got matching sunglasses!!" would turn into "I was MC's first, ya know - Pretty sure they value me above you!"

It was a downward spiral. But that was only a slice of your problematic pie.

This lead you to Leviathan. Oh, insecure little Levi who - if you hadn't seen it for yourself first hand - you would think couldn't harm a fly.

Apparently, he needed you more than you needed yourself. You'd thought he was sweet, with his insecurities and all that.

Nope. He was way too clingy, always wanting you by his side.

He was worse than Mammon, and between the two of them you weren't entirely sure how you were going to cope.

Still, despite the uneasiness that befell you whenever you were in his prescence, he certainly wasn't the worst.

Beel came afterwards, seemingly hungry for food and your company.

Maybe it was because you saved his twin, or that you were always there to help him, but the guy fell and he fell hard.

He had an appetite, and be it eating your cooking, working out with you filming, or napping with you sandwiched between himself and Belphie, he was never satisfied.

He needed to be around you, and he wanted to protect you at all costs.

You were only a little human compared to him, he just wanted to keep you safe. And to keep you around him at all times, if that's what it took.

Moving swiftly on, you thought of Asmo who was almost as obsessed with you as he was himself.

Actually, that might be the other way around if you thought about it.

The guy initially didn't think you'd last a single week, and now he couldn't stop pestering you to spend every moment of every day with him.

Of course, though he couldn't spend all his time with you, he could dictate a lot of your life for you.

What should have been relaxing time to yourself was now dreadful, fearful horror to avoid at all costs. So handsy... sometimes, when you closed your eyes, you could still feel those slender fingers.

It was uncomfortable at best, and sickening to think about. He can't help it though, he protests, he just loves everything about you!!

To add to the ever-growing list, Satan knew just about everything there was to know about you.

"Knowledge is power," He had told you, and apparently this guy was pretty powerful.

It was almost as though he could see into your mind, he knew what you wanted before you could even think about it. It infuriated you, to the point where you'd begun to question whether you were truly alone in the safety of your own room.

He assured that, of course, it was nothing special, he just liked gathering information.

But something about the letters he left said otherwise...

The penultimate brother was, of course, the slothful Belphie.

A small mercy, you supposed, was how forward he was with his feelings.

He expressed on numerous occasions that, if given the chance, then he'd live with you and Beel and everything would be perfect.

And when you lay there at night, dark hair tickling your neck, leathery tail pinning you closer to him, you knew exactly how bad things were.

There really was no helping it, you were his saviour after all, having freed him from that attic and reunited him with his brothers.

Oh- and he did technically kill you, so he had to make it up for you! By showing you all this love, surely you'd realise how much he loved you?

And how much he appreciated you? He sure had a weird way of showing it, though, keeping you all to himself the way he did.

Worst of all, though, had to be Lucifer. He was powerful and he knew it, with an ego that was indescribably inflated, he treated you almost as property.

You couldn't get away- his word was like law. The only demon above him was Diavolo, and well, you wouldn't be receiving help from him anytime soon.

Life here was hell, which checked out considering as this was quite literally hell.

There is no escape. There is no refuge, or help to be found anywhere. You're stuck, so make the most of it! It's all you can do.

[catt-leya]

Hi, could i request a rick x younger reader fic smut? Both have a crush on each other, but rick never made a move, the typical stuff hehe.

So, the reader is a citizen in alexandria, she has a boyfriend (he's abusive). She met rick back when he and his group first came to alexandria, they often bumped into each other. The longing looks and sexual tension soon became unbearable, especially at the welcome party. Rick still didn't make a move, he didn't want to since she had a boyfriend, besides the age gap.

One night, rick walks home from a run when he finds her all wrecked outside his house dressed only in a nightgown. She had a fight with her boyfriend and rick saw a big wound on her leg. He covers her up with his jacket and carries her to his kitchen counter where he can patch her up and ask her questions. She's nervous and shy at first but later tells him everything and oops, they fuck.

Forbidden * (18+) || Rick Grimes

Cheating is a no-go for me, but I hope you understand why I find it okay there.

The request has really inspired me, so thank you and feel hugged <3

Trigger: rape, domestic violence

I push the door from the bathroom shut and lock it. Shivering, I slide down the door and pull my legs in front of my chest. I can still hear him raging in our bedroom and how he’s smashing a lamp against a wall.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath to suppress my trembling. There are better days and worse days with my boyfriend and today seems to be one of those worse days. A much worse one.

I couldn't even tell what I did to make him angry, but when I got home and saw him in the bedroom, all tense and face contorted with rage, I knew I must have done something to make him angry.

Before I could stumble backwards out of the room, he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to the bed. By some miracle that cost me some of my hair strands, however, I was able to free myself from his fist and ran as fast as I could to the bathroom because that's the only room in our house that still has a lock. Shawn has dismantled all the others.

Things start to quiet down in the bedroom, which also calms me down, and when I hear him drop the front door into the lock, I slowly venture out of the bathroom. I look out the kitchen window and see him walking deadpan toward the gate, which separates our Alexandria from the Walkers. He doesn't even look back over his shoulder as he grabs his best friend's arm on the way and points to the gate.

Knowing Shawn, he must be taking his anger out on some Walkers now because I got away from him. As I see the gate being pulled shut behind him, I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.It's not that I don't love him. I do, it's only on his bad days that I think about what it would be like if we weren't together.

But then he's back to being the loving trophy boyfriend and I take the bad days for the good.Once again, I take a deep breath and then walk out myself.

I need a few minutes in the fresh air to deal with Shawn later, although he's usually in a much better mood after killing Walkers.

The last few days the sun has taken no pity on us and I'm already starting to sweat as I walk down just the 3 flights of stairs that lead to the street.

Immediately my eyes fall on a young woman walking towards a house that stands at the other end of the street.

She is part of the group that recently joined us and now lives here with us. I have already talked to some of the members of the group and I feel much better because they know what they are doing.

I have only been outside the gate a few times and can probably just about defend myself. But this group has been through hell and arrived here alive. They know what to do outside and I believe they will be a valuable part of Alexandria.

I watch her until she disappears into the house and then slowly walk in that direction.My eyes wander to the houses that have been assigned to them as the door of the one on the right is pushed open.

I stop and stare at him. I haven't been able to remember the names of everyone else yet, but Rick is burned into my mind.I stare at him openly because he looks completely different than he did before. When he arrived here, his hair was longer and his beard looked like it had been neglected for months.

Now he is shaved and has clean clothes on. I have to admit that I thought he was handsome even when he took his first steps in Alexandria, completely filthy.

He had his little daughter in his arms and the contrast that this little helpless creature left in his arms made my head spin.

I'm still staring at him as my guilty conscience kicks in. I have a boyfriend who loves me. I shouldn't be pining over Rick like this, certainly not because I'm taken, for one thing, and for another, because he's probably a lot older. So, I avert my eyes and am about to turn back around when I hear Rick's voice, "Hey."

I don't know if he addressed me, but I turned around and sure enough, he's walking toward me. The white shirt hangs loosely on his body, but I know what he looks like underneath, or at least I can imagine it.

When he arrived here with his group he had a brown shirt on, which stuck to him like a second skin and that gave enough encouragement to the imagination.

When he stops in front of me, I break away from my thoughts and look up at him "Hey." he points his hand in the direction I came from, "You live over there, right?"

I don't know what he's getting at, but nod "Yeah, right. I share the house with my boyfriend." At the mention of Shawn, his gaze slides down before he looks me in the eyes again, "Deanna said you have comics in the house?"

As soon as it involves art in any form, I'm on fire and excitedly straighten up further, "Oh yeah, not just comics. Some who run errands outside more often bring me books or even pencils to draw with sometimes, if you're interested in that sort of thing." He tilts his head a little to the side "Not really, but my son is."

Strangely, disappointment spreads through me, but I quickly shake it off "Oh, if he'd like, he's welcome to come over and pick out whatever he likes."

As I look at him up close like this, I first notice how blue his eyes are and lower my gaze a bit so I don't have to look him in the eyes for too long "Thanks. I'll tell him." On impulse, I point to his hand where he wears a ring, "Is your wife here too?"

As if he doesn't remember he's wearing a ring, he raises his hand and looks at it "No, she died when my daughter was born. I wear the ring because - probably out of habit."

I mentally slap myself because I could have broached the subject more sensitively and mumble an apology. Unfortunately, I can't help but feel comfortable around him. Actually, I would have to get to know him first, but something about his aura attracts me. It is something warm and safe that emanates from him, that makes me feel safe with him and that I can relax. Even when some from Alexandria were skeptical and on guard because the group looked damn dangerous, I didn't feel like I had to seek protection from them.

His deep voice enters my ear: "Do you want to come in? I think we have a coffee machine in the kitchen." Rick offers. Actually, there should be nothing against it, but I jerk my head around to look at the gate.

Shawn's been gone for a while and knowing him, he'll show up soon and I'm sure he won't be happy to see me sitting with a stranger in the house instead of waiting for him. So, I shake my head and look back up at him "Thanks, but I should be getting back. We can catch up another time though." In my mind I add when Shawn has calmed down, or is best off running errands.

I get the feeling he knows something is wrong as he looks over my shoulder at the gate as well "You okay?" he asks with concern.

Slowly realizing I desperately need to get away from him, I take two steps back and wave him off "Nice talking to you Rick. I'll definitely see you around, feel free to send your son my way." I said before I would turn around.

He raises his hand and I turn around. Sighing, I walk back to our house, feeling his gaze burn into my back with each step. I don't turn back until I'm standing at the stairs to my house. To my surprise, he's still standing there watching me disappear into the house, letting the door fall into the lock behind me.

I can hardly believe my luck when Shawn walks in the door a short time later, looking much calmer. He even gives me a hug and apologizes for being a little louder earlier. To him, smashed lamps are really only a little louder because both he and I know it can be much worse.

The next few days pass in a familiar routine and I only get to see Rick now and then without really talking to him. I would like to exchange more than just two words with him and maybe just feel his warm skin under my fingertips. Only briefly and nothing suggestive; I would like to touch him to know that he really exists and that I am not imagining him.

In fact, an opportunity for a longer conversation arises when Deanna tells me there is a welcome party for the group that has newly arrived in Alexandria. So, for once, I put on a dress for tonight that is still floating around somewhere in my closet and go to the party with Shawn.

As always, when we go out among other people, he puts his arm firmly around my waist, forcing me to always be at his side. Before, when everything was still normal, I even liked to be seen so publicly by him as "his", but since the world has changed as it is now, I often find it inappropriate and almost presumptuous, as if I was his personal property.

I never dared to approach him about it because I know how much he likes to show me off in front of other men and of course I want to see him happy. So, I let him pull me into the group of people who are already there. Immediately, my gaze lands on Rick who is standing a bit off to the side and talking to some other Alexandrians. As if he senses that I am looking at him, he turns his head in my direction and looks me in the eyes.

His eyes wander over my body and I have the feeling he can see through the dress and suddenly I feel much more naked than I actually am. We look at each other across the room as his gaze lingers on Shawn's hand digging deep into my skin. Again, he looks at me and brings a glass of amber liquid to his lips. Who knew a simple drink could be so hot?

I stare at his mouth when Shawn digs his fingers even harder into my flesh "Who are you looking at so closely?" Shawn asks, I tear my gaze away from Rick to look at my boyfriend with a smile "Just checking out who all of the new ones are." I said.

Playfully indifferent, he looks over my shoulder probably straight at Rick and then pushes me in that direction "Then I'd say we say 'hello'." Shawn says.

Surrendered, I allow myself to be pushed toward Rick, who immediately stands up to his full height when he sees us walking towards him. I didn't notice before, but Shawn is shorter than Rick, not by an incredible amount, but still noticeable enough "Hey I'm Shawn, you have surely already met my girlfriend." coolly, Rick looks down at him "Yeah, I'm Rick Grimes."

Shawn pulls me in front of his chest and holds me that way while he talks to Rick "Ah, Rick Grimes. Deanna showed me the tapes. You think you're pretty tough." Shawn says.

Immediately, I wince. People have been roaming the world alone for a very long time and have probably seen things that would give us nightmares and from Shawn's voice I can tell he wants to ridicule Rick "Honey, Rick and his friends sure have been through a lot." I say.

I can't see Shawn's face, but his grip tightens again, "No one asked for your opinion, sweetie." he groans. Out of the corner of my eye I see Rick fixate on Shawn, "How about you let her go so she can stand on her own?" Rick barks softly.

Of course, Shawn wouldn't let that sit "And how about you mind your own business? I can touch my girlfriend any way I want." Shawn barks back, a bit louder.

I squint my eyes as I realize how tense my friend is and mumble "I'm sure Rick didn't mean it."

At that moment, I realize my mistake and make myself even smaller. Shawn tugs me to the side again and I regret the words I spoke in Rick's defense. Shawn puts his chin up "I think it's time we left." Shawn growls.

Suddenly Rick grabs my hand "Why don't you stay for a while?" he asks and tilts his head.

I'm panicked that Shawn will go after Rick, as pissed as he is, and I don't want either of them to get hurt. So, I escape Rick's gentle grip, which contrasts bitterly with Shawn's unyielding grip "We really should go. But it was nice to see you all here and have a good evening." I realize how put upon it sounds, but let Shawn pull me out of the house without resistance.

We are just turning the corner of the house"You little whore. You fucked him." he hisses. I stop dead in my tracks at his words, "What did you just call me?" I ask.

He releases a hand from my hip and reaches into my long hair "You heard me." he growls. Pain flashes through my scalp and I just stumble after him as he drags me behind him "I'm not a whore! I'm loyal to you!" I scream.

He laughs spitefully and I stumble down the stairs at our front door "Sure you are. I've seen that old idiot undress you with his eyes and you've enjoyed it." Shawn accuses. He pushes me through the open door and I stagger against the wall "That's not true."

The door slams into the lock with a crash behind us "Oh, no? And why the hell are you taking his side?" he asks with anger. I move away from him as he walks toward me "I was just saying I'm sure they've all been through a lot." I said in defense. Before I can get away from him, he grabs me tightly by the wrist "Don't tell me you like this maniac. If you had seen the tape, I'm sure you wouldn't be spreading your legs in front of him." I shake my head at his words "I didn't sleep with him. Please trust me." I said, begging him to believe me.

His fingers dig into my wrist and I'm sure it will still be showing tomorrow. As he lunges, I squint my eyes and my head flies to the side as his hand lands on my cheek "You're mine." he yells. With tears in my eyes, I nod and try to ignore the pain on my cheek. I know exactly what's coming next.

He pulls me behind him, up to our bedroom and I let him push me onto our bed. For the next half hour, I fade out as best I can and let him do what he wants to do without complaining because I know he needs it. That he needs me.

---

Shawn has long since fallen asleep, and I'm still staring at the ceiling, reaching for the dress that's torn on the floor next to the bed and carefully wiping my legs. To be honest, I don't even want to know that everything is stuck to my legs.

Carefully, I push myself out of bed and quietly tap my way into the adjoining bathroom. I dare only a quick glance in the mirror and see how disastrous I look. Sighing, I pour some water into the tub and kneel down to clean myself up to some extent.

Wrapped in a bathrobe, I shuffle back to my boyfriend, who is lying on his stomach snoring and taking up almost the entire bed, so I make myself small and curl up on the edge.

It takes me a long time to fall asleep and when I wake up in the morning, I clearly haven't slept enough, but I'm glad Shawn has already started his day and I'm alone in the house. I throw the leftovers from the dress I wore yesterday in the trash and start cleaning up the house. After nights like this, I like to distract myself with housework usually until the evening. It's the same today and I don't see how dark it's gotten until Shawn walks in the door and immediately fixes me "I swear I'm going to kill that Rick Grimes someday." he groans.

Today, I overthink every word I say "Did something happen?" of course, that gets him fired up "Did something happen? The guy comes marching in here and thinks we're groveling before him like mutts. It's like he's got wisdom by the spoonful." biting my lip to avoid saying what I really want to say, I point to the kitchen counter instead "Want me to make you something to eat?" I ask.

He leans against the counter and responds "No, I don't want anything to eat." His gaze slides over my face "I don't want you to ever see that guy again." Shawn barks.

No matter what I answer, I'm going to make him mad so I don't say anything, but that only causes him to build himself up in front of me "Do you understand me?" I nod. Again, his gaze slides over the thin nightgown I put on when I got out of the shower this afternoon "Answer me." he demands.

I lower my eyes, knowing what's about to come "I'll stay out of his way as best I can, but you have to remember that we all live together in a relatively small space and that I'm bound to run into Rick." he grabs me by the hair once again "You've got to be kidding me. You can't even do that for me. I thought we worked everything out yesterday." he growls.

From beneath him I look up at him "You're hurting me. Please, Shawn." with a flourish, he pushes me against the sink and I get caught on the rusty nail sticking out. With my thigh, I scrape completely over it and as I put my hand on my leg, I feel warm blood oozing from between my fingers.

I turn to Shawn, expecting a second round from last night, but he stares at my leg "Fuck off. I don't want to see you again today." he growls.

When I don't budge, he takes a menacing step toward me and I limp out of our house as fast as my leg will take me. All I can hear is him turning the lock in the door around, locking me out.

Tears come to our eyes and I stumble down the stairs to get away from the house. Yes, he's already treated me badly, but today is a new high and I certainly don't want to be left sitting on the stairs in front of our house so he can get me back in after all.

Blind with tears, I come to a stop in front of Rick's house. I picked up yesterday that he's out running errands today and it could well be that he's not back yet.The house is dark and I assume that his son is probably asleep, so I quietly sink down on the stairs in front of the door and look at the wound in the light of the moon.

I got the nail neatly, but fortunately it's not particularly deep and I press my thin nightgown to it. The longer I'm exposed to the evening air, the colder I get and I'm already toying with the idea of going to our pantry when I see Rick crossing the street and walking towards me "What are you doing here?" he asks.

As he utters the words "What happened?" his eyes fall to my leg. I don't know if it's just shame or if I want to defend Shawn after that "I fell stupidly and got caught on a nail. It was stupid of me. I should have removed it a long time ago." I shrug.

He doesn't look convinced and pulls his brown leather jacket off his shoulder to put it over my shoulders "So why aren't you at home with your boyfriend?" he asks.

Of course, this question was obvious, I avoid his gaze and pull the jacket tighter around me, smelling like him and immediately reassuring me "Can I please sleep on your couch tonight?" I ask.

Wordlessly, he reaches out his hand and pulls me up, then leads me into the house. I feel much smaller next to him than I actually am as he simply lifts me onto the kitchen counter and then turns away to look for something in the closet "What are you looking for?" I ask.

He pulls a small box out of a drawer and shows it to me "Let me take a look at your leg." Rick demands. Slowly I nod and he steps close to me. His warm hands are covered in calluses and inappropriately I get goosebumps all over my body. I look down at his dark hair as he gently cleans the wound and concentrates on patching up my leg.

It burns like hell, but I don't make a sound and enjoy the calm and warmth he radiates. His white shirt is dirty with Walker blood and his face is not as clean-shaven as it was the first time I saw him come out of the house in Alexandria.

He strokes my leg one last time before looking me in the eye but continuing to stand so close "What happened?" Rick repeats himself. I avoid his gaze "I told you. I tripped." and lie.

He sighs softly and takes my chin determinedly between his fingers, forcing me to look him in the eye "And now the truth." Rick whispers.

His blue eyes are so hypnotically bright that I just stare at him with my mouth open and don't respond until he looks down at my mout, "Shawn and I got into a fight...it got a little out of hand and I fell stupidly against the sink." I watch him gritting his teeth tightly before he lets go of my chin "And then he kicked you out of the house?" he asks.

Hesitantly, I nod and he gathers up the things to put back in the box before putting them back in the drawer "It happens more often that it 'gets out' doesn't it?" I slide off the kitchen counter and again pull his jacket tighter against my body being barely covered by my nightgown "Sometimes." I say and can see his back, straining to the utmost, and reach out to touch him.

Only lightly do I touch his shoulder blade as he turns back to me and takes my hand in his "Come with me." he says.

I'm surprised at how different a firm grip can be. With Shawn I would never have been able to wrest my hand away, but with Rick it's different. He certainly holds my hand tightly, but if I put my mind to it, I could easily pull away from him. Only I don't want to.

I let him lead me up the stairs and into his bedroom. There he lets go of me and goes to his closet. I don't know what to do, so I just stand in the middle of the room, watching him pull out a shirt "Here." he says offering me the shirt.

I take it gratefully because I don't want to sleep in that bloody and dirty nightgown. I peel out of the jacket and catch him looking at my breasts, which are clearly visible under the thin fabric. It's not that I find it uncomfortable, though. No, I feel beautiful when he looks at me like that. Still his eyes are on it and I suppress a giggle "Would you turn around?" I ask playfully.

Way too quickly he jerks his head up and I could swear his eyes are darker than they were before in the kitchen. Our eyes meet only very briefly before he turns his back to me and I slowly peel myself out of the nightgown. One hears only the rustling of the fabric and our breath in the room.

In one fluid motion, I pull his shirt over my head and am relieved to find that it's long enough for me to cover everything "Okay, I'm done, Rick." I say.

It takes him a moment to clear his throat and then he turns back to me "You can sleep here. I'll sleep downstairs and tomorrow we'll get your stuff and you can stay here if you want." he offers. Surprised, I say "You want me to live here?" and raise my eyebrows.

He takes a step toward me, "I don't want you to go back to your boyfriend and if you stay here, I promise he will never touch you again." Rick says assuringly.

I can't help it and stare at him.

Never have I had the chance to leave Shawn, nor have I ever wanted to. But I don't doubt that Rick could protect me from Shawn, I just don't know if I want to. I was with Shawn since when we were in high school and after the world changed so much, we were together as well. He is my constant in life and I don't know if I can give him up. In a way I love him, I just wonder if this love can even be labeled as romantic love or if it's a habit.

Rick is waiting for me to respond, but I don't know what to say yet, so I reach for his hand "You don't have to sleep on the couch. The bed is big enough for the both of us." I say.

I give him credit for not insisting on a response from me and instead look to the bed "Are you sure? I can sleep downstairs." he whispers.

I pull him towards the bed "At your age, you should take it easy on your back." I chuckle. I hear him snort as I drop onto the bed and he towers over me "How old do you think I am?" he asks with a grin. To be honest, I have a hard time guessing because he looks older but doesn't act like I'm used to from older people in Alexandria "Old enough?" I giggle.

He merely rolls his eyes and I slide over to the other side of the bed so he can lie down next to me, feeling comfortable under his gaze "I'm going to take a quick shower." he says.

I nod and close my eyes as he disappears into the adjoining bathroom and I hear the shower shortly after. In my mind's eye, I see him as God created him, standing under the running warm water. As the water runs down him deeper and deeper, I tear my eyes open. With Shawn, I've long since stopped craving sex and only go along with it because he wants me to, but now I'm lying here wanting to slip into the shower with Rick.

It takes an eternity for Rick to come out of the bathroom, with his hair still wet and dressed only in boxers. I briefly catch a glimpse of his shapely torso before he pulls a shirt out of the drawer and pulls it over his head before walking towards the bed "I can go downstairs." he offers once again.

I shake my head and tap the bed next to me so he can finally lay down on it. Without taking his eyes off me, he lays next to me and I lay on my side so I can look at him "Thanks for letting me sleep here." I whisper.

He lays on his side as well, we lie closer than we need to be facing each other "Are you okay?" he asks softly.

I can't explain why, but I reach out and stroke the shirt he's wearing "I am now." I exclaimed. My hand stays over his heart and I feel every breath he takes and every beat from his heart. It's been a long time since I've touched a man this way and felt the way I do now.

Gently he takes my hand from his chest and brings it to his lips. His eyes are fixed on mine as he breathes a small kiss on my palm.

This small gesture races between my legs and my lips open automatically. At first, he hesitates, but then he breathes a kiss on the inside of my wrist and then another on my forearm. Gently he slides up to me and moves his mouth along my arm to my shoulder.

His legs touch mine and my breathing becomes intermittent as he breathes a small kiss on my neck "Do you want me to stop?" he murmurs.

I've never felt so good as I do right now when he's so close to me that I can feel him in every fiber of my body "No." I whisper.

I barely recognize my voice and close my eyes in pleasure as he places a hand heavily on my hip to pull me even closer as he kisses up my neck. Shawn has made it sound like Rick is a brutal man, but if that's the way it's supposed to be, then he's all the gentler to me.

He gives me a quick kiss on the corner of my mouth and I open my eyes as I realize he's pausing, "When I first stepped beyond the gates of Alexandria. You were the first thing I saw and I could barely look away. We'd been out for so long. Almost too long and you were like a vision. So young and beautiful. Then I saw you standing outside the house and I wanted to talk to you, I didn't think I had a chance. I thought-"

I bridge the inches that separate our lips, interrupting his torrent of words. No one has ever said such beautiful words to me and meant them sincerely. I put my arms around his neck and push myself as close as I can to his body. His scratchy beard contrasts with his soft lips and I whimper into the kiss as he slides his hand under my shirt. My kiss grows more desperate and I tug on his shirt to get him to take it off.

He pulls away from me and pushes me onto my back as he pulls his shirt over his head in one fluid motion. Immediately, I place my hands on his broad shoulders and pull him back down to me. Shawn disappears completely from my thoughts and all I have left is Rick.

He pushes my legs apart slightly so he can kneel between them and then pushes my shirt up with his hands so he can lower his head to my bare breasts "Do you even know how beautiful you are? How you stood there at the party in that dress and looked up at me."

Then he takes a nipple in his mouth and my back lifts off the mattress. I didn't realize how good that could feel until he closed his big hand around my other breast and squeezed gently.

My moans fill the room and I tear open my eyes in panic "Your son? He'll hear us." his voice is muffled as he licks across my chest "His room is down the hall and he's been asleep for a long time. He won't hear anything."

Rick pulls away from my breasts and turns back to my lips as he runs his hand down the inside of my thighs, stopping at my most intimate spot "May I?" he asks.

I'm surprised that he's still asking, it takes me a few seconds to respond "Yes, please." I whimper.

He knows how to touch me and his hand pushes my panties aside and he strokes the little bundle of nerves almost as light as a feather.

Rick doesn't break the kiss and swallows my whimper before squeezing tighter and I come against him with my whole upper body.

No one has ever made me feel the way I feel right now. So wanted and incredibly sensual.

His movements remain steady and I can hardly breathe. I pull away from the kiss and sink back onto the bed moaning quietly. I look at his hand between my legs and almost came at the sight, he pulls his hand from me and I jerk my head to ask him why he stopped as he sits up and looks down at me.

I want him to fuck to me so badly that I frantically kick my panties off my legs and sit up reaching for his hands "Don't stop now."

The erection in his boxers is hard to miss and I bite my lower lip, imagining how big he is. Gently, I stroke the stretched fabric with my palm "Please." I beg.

Softly he groans "Damn." his beautiful blue eyes are fixed on my hands on his boxers, giving me a chance to look at him closely.

His eyelashes cast shadows on his cheekbones, making his face look older and more mature. Fine lines betray his age and the white strands in his beard are clearly visible to me now. Our kisses have made his lips red and swollen, just as mine feel, and I stare at his straight nose as he looks up again and catches me staring at him.

Silently he looks at me and I get lost in his eyes. He is probably the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on.

I couldn't tell how long we looked at each other before he takes my face between his big hands and pulls me to him to kiss me. His lips are a pure sin and his body a dream.

But before I can push my hand under the waistband of the boxers, he pushes me by the shoulders back onto the bed and takes my wrists in one hand and holds them above my head so that I am completely at his mercy and can only watch him as he pushes the boxers off his hips with the other hand and his cock comes rushing out.

He lies heavily on the inside of my thigh and I begin to pulse around nothing because I need him so badly. Gently he kisses my ear "Do you want me?" he husks.

His words do something to me that I haven't known before and my nipples immediately straighten even more "Please, I beg you." I whimper.

His hot breath hits my sensitive neck and his raspy chin grazes the hollow between my shoulder and neck. He's so sensual I can barely breathe and when I finally feel him slowly pushing his cock inside me, I moan his name over and over. I barely have a clear thought anymore as his panting gets louder so close to my ear as he sinks completely into me.

He fills me perfectly and I can feel him deep in my belly twitching hard inside me. Slowly he starts to move inside me and I enjoy it.

I enjoy how he fucks me as he thrusts harder and harder inside me and gasps my name over and over.

I want to touch him so badly and try to release my wrists from his grasp, but he's too strong, so I tense my inner muscles and he moans against my neck as I murmur "I want to touch you." instantly, he loosens his grip and braces himself on his forearms so he can look at me. His upper arms are strained to hold his own weight and not bury me under his body as he thrusts into me again, hitting just the right spot.

Instantly my lips form a silent 'Oh' and my fingernails dig into his shoulder blades. Not even thinking about whether I'm leaving marks on his back, I run my nails down to his ribs as he targets the same spot again and groans out himself "You're so fucking tight."

My gaze slides down to where we join at his words as I watch him pump into me again and again, I can hardly contain myself. My insides tighten again and Rick must realize how close I am to my release because he mumbles between his gasps "You're doing good." he whispers.

His praise is all I need, and I pull him down by the hair enough to kiss him as my climax comes over me in waves. I bite his lower lip, which doesn't seem to bother him, but only makes him thrust harder into me. His movements become more and more uncontrolled and when the last wave breaks over me, I moan in his ear "Do you feel how you made me come? How you are inside me?" I wail.

His body starts to shake and I kiss him hard on the lips again, the fact that he barely returns the kiss and instead comes inside me panting doesn't bother me at all. I catch every sound from him as he comes in thrusts inside me, pumping over and over.

When he comes down from his high a bit, he rolls off me and stays on his back breathing heavily before he looks at me and his veiled gaze slowly clears "Stay here with me."

I know he doesn't mean just this night and I look at him for a long time, not knowing what to answer. I've gotten so used to being around Shawn that I can hardly imagine leaving him, but with Rick it's exciting and beautiful.

So, I roll onto my stomach and look deep into his eyes as I do something I've never done before. I do what my heart tells me to do "Okay." I whisper.

He seems to be surprised by my answer "Really?" smiling, I scoot up to him and kiss him softly on the lips "Yes, I'll stay with you." I exclaim and offer him a smile before I kiss him again.

@positive-squid @kitty-the-outlaw

[yutatube]

Cigarettes After Sex

Genre: frat boy!suna au, enemies to fwb to lovers, toxic relationship, hurt to comfort, fuck boy shit.

Summary: Suna Rintarō’s reputation precedes him, it’s obvious when his newest target has no interest in playing his little game. Determined to add your heart to his collection of broken trophies, he is willing to do anything and everything to make your heart his.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: minor character death, smut, cunnilingus, toxicity, drunk driving, drinking, smoking, mentions of weed.

Collab: @saintobio’s frat au collab

A/N: @iheart-shigaraki helped me out a bit with this just to make sure it's not total shit. Btw, Sincerely Not is a series written by Saint, you should check it out.

“It's leading me on, every time we touch. Leading me on, every time it hurts. Feeling so lonely, 'cause it's not enough. Missin' you only ever since we fell in love.”

If there were a trait that solidified the perception that Suna Rintarō was a terrible person, it would be the absolute power trip he felt when he took the heart of a sweet innocent girl. He ripped it out and tore it to pieces, watching as she fell to her knees, begging him to never leave her. The look of woe that adorned their wet eyes, brimming with salty tears, was enough to give him a better high than weed ever could. He truly loved the feeling of holding a girl's heart in his hand, all her feelings controlled by him. He knew he was awful, but he didn’t care.

“Aye, get yer head of the clouds. I’m talkin’ to ya.” Atsumu’s voice drew Rintarō’s attention back to his bothersome fraternity brother. “What’re you even lookin’ at?”

“Huh? Nothing. Mind your business.” Suna’s eyes never left the girl, causing Atsumu to follow the invisible line that his hard stare created. His eyes landed on a girl in the back of the lecture hall, and even Atsumu could tell that she was a fucking stunner. Her hair lazily fell over her shoulders as she concentrated on the book in her hands. She was that quiet type of beauty most only admired from afar and 100% the type of girl Rintarō wants to break.

Turning his relaxed gaze back to his fox-like friend, a knowing smirk crawled onto Atsumu’s face as he rested his cheek in the palm of his hand. “Oh, I see. Found a new target, Rin?”

A small, barely noticeable smirk embellished Suna’s features as he readjusted in his seat. A mischievous glint shone brightly in his jade eyes, “Yeah, think so.”

“Hey, stranger.” A voice laced with tiredness pulled you out of the fictional world of Sincerely Not. Annoyed by the distraction, you glanced up with an exasperated look and found that standing before you was Tokyo University’s favorite frat boy. Suna Rintarō.

His tired eyes met yours, bangs parted in the middle, and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Knowing that he was nothing but bad news, you chose to ignore him and dove back into your book.

“Oi, don’t ignore me. I’m talking to you.” As he dropped his backpack to the floor, he slumped into the seat across from you. His muscles flexed as he leaned against the table, placing his head in his hands. Noticing that you would rather read your book than talk to him, he grabbed the paperback out of your hand and tossed it to the side.

Gritting your teeth together, you tried your best to keep your composure. “That wasn’t bookmarked.”

“Hm, my bad.” Despite his seemingly apologetic words, his tone indicated that he couldn’t give a rat’s ass. You noticed how his eyes looked you up and down, devouring every part of you. His eyes lingered on your body, and that only fanned the flame of your anger. Who does this pompous asshole think he is?

“If you think I'm going to let you check me out, then you can leave. This is supposed to be a quiet, peaceful place. Somewhere you clearly don’t belong.” He was taken back by your attitude and quick wit. You certainly weren’t going to be an easy catch, but that just made you all the more enticing.

“No shit, I don’t belong here. I haven’t been to a library since they forced us to pick out a book in middle school.” His careless words only ground your gears even harder. The way he acted, in the same manner, careless, was just as aggravating. You narrowed your eyes at him, watching as he pulled on a lazy smirk. He rocked back and forth in the chair, almost falling each time. It made you want to go over there and knock him over yourself. Maybe if you hit him hard enough, he'd learn some respect.

The rising heat that bubbled from the pits of your stomach caused your body to shake with rage. You knew of his reputation and saw how the girls he broke fell apart. Someone you knew even dropped out of school because of him.

Slouching into your chair, you let out an exasperated sigh. “Why are you here, Suna?”

“You have a nice ass.” His blunt, lewd answer caught you off guard. What the actual fuck?

Taking your book from across the table, you carefully shoved it into your bag and slung it over your shoulder. You didn’t say a word as you left him at the table.

“Wait, where are you going?" He finally fell back in his chair. "That was a compliment!”

“Don’t care.” You responded before you exited the building.

Chuckling to himself, he was left thinking about you.

‘What am I going to do to you?’

If there was something you were absolutely certain of, it was the indisputable fact that Suna Rintarō was the most annoying, aggravating, relentless piece of shit you have ever met. Day after day he made it his job to find you.

For the past two months, he has been bothering you any chance he gets. At lunch, he’ll sit with you and talk the entire time.

During your alone time in the library, he converts that into “us” time by making himself comfortable next to you. You learned to drown out the sound of his voice, but before long, he would snatch the book from your hands.

When you’re walking to your apartment, he walks beside you as he attempts to show you his recording of the Miya Twins’ latest fight. He says that you should feel special since everyone else has to pay to see it.

In this present moment, you have never wanted to punch him more.

You found a new reading spot under a sakura tree. It was a quiet place. Wind whistling, birds singing and the sun shining down on your face. You found comfort in the warmth. In the silence. Away from Suna.

After a few days, he found you.

Now, he held your book over his head and taunted you for not being any taller than 5’10.

“Why do you even like this book so much?” He questioned, waving the book around as he yawned.

“Why do you yawn so much?” You retorted as you analyzed all the different ways you could get your book back. Maybe if you punched him hard enough, he'd drop it. You smiled at the thought as you took a new cigarette out of its container and lit it. Inhaling the tobacco, and exhaling the smoke, you felt a little more relaxed.

“I have sleep problems." He answered, speaking through his cough from the secondhand smoke. "Anyways, this book doesn’t even seem interesting.” He studied the cover. “What’s it even about?”

Rolling your eyes, you purse your lips together, your cigarette dangling from the corner of your mouth as you debated whether or not you should tell him. “Why do you want to know? It’s not like you’re going to read it.”

“Just tell me, Y/N.” He handed the book back to you and took a seat on the blanket. Making himself comfortable, he glanced at the food you had prepared for yourself, then back to you, and back to the food again. He quickly took the container of berries and started to feed himself, popping multiple strawberries in his mouth.

Sitting next to him, you let out a small, breathy chuckle. He reminded you of a hungry child at that moment. Cheeks puffed out, and eyes sparkling as he savored the taste.

“Well, it’s about these really rich people who are arranged to marry each other. You see, they were childhood friends, but lost contact as they took different paths in life.”

He watched as your eyes lit up while you explained the story of Sincerely Not. With a smile, you rambled on about the book, using your hands to talk in between your drags. You only stopped yourself when you remembered who exactly you were talking to.

You were right, he wasn’t going to read it, but he did enjoy watching you talk instead of flipping him off and ignoring him.

The way a person spoke about the things they were passionate about was always a beautiful thing to see. The way their smiles got a little brighter and their days got a little bit better. It brought people together. Sharing something as personal as your passions always did.

He was going to have your heart in no time.

By the time October rolled around you had warmed up to him. Tremendously.

You weren’t really sure how you got into this situation. Maybe it was when you told him that he has small dick energy, but it’s not like you could think right now. Not with his dick rhythmically pushing in and out of you.

You were bent over on the sink, forced to watch as Suna fucked you from behind in the boys’ bathroom. Your eyes watched as your boobs bounced with every stroke of his hips, and you’d be damned if you weren’t aroused by this. He kept his eyes locked on yours as he fucked into you relentlessly.

Despite the pure annoyance he brought to your life, he sure knew how to fuck. Even if you wanted to deny it, the moans that rippled from your throat proved otherwise. The way he so easily found your G-spot and repeatedly hit it over and over, harder each time, had you shaking. It had you begging for more each time.

You couldn’t stay away and he knew it. He was addicting.

“G-od, I hate you. You-you know that?” You whimpered as pleasure spread throughout your body. You could feel his hot breath tickle the back of your neck. Every touch of his fingertips was burning and intoxicating all at the same time. You couldn't get enough.

“Good,” he growled as he slid a hand down to your wet cunt. “What do you think happens to us after we die?”

‘Seriously? Is that what he’s thinking about right now?’

“We-well, I read Percy Jackson,” you tried to speak, but between his pointer and middle finger rubbing circles against your clit, and his thick cock pumping in and out of you, you found it difficult.

“And?” He breathed out, placing a wet kiss below your ear. “That wasn’t an answer.”

Your head leaned back against his shoulder. The moment your eyes met, an overwhelming feeling washed over you. It was as if something within both of you mixed together, like two different paints blending to become one.

His flaming fingertips painted beautiful colors against your skin. He was warm, like a campfire on a warm summer night. The crackle of fire comforting you as you melted in his hands.

“We become stars.” Was your final answer before you both met your climax and your juices mixed like the two paints.

“God, you’re so tight, Y/N.”

And the moment was ruined. Way to go, Suna.

Peeling yourself away from him, you pulled your pants back up, and fixed yourself as best as you could so you could pretend that you didn’t just get fucked from behind by the fuckboy you hate with a passion.

“I still hate your guts, don’t forget that.” And with that, you walked out of the bathroom and out the doors of the dining hall.

Despite how much you despised the self-absorbed asshole, you wanted to keep up your routine of smoking a cigarette after a good fuck, and damn, was he a good fuck. Leaning against the old, hoary brick wall, you took out a cigarette and tried to light it. With the dewy air from the previous rain shower and shaky hands from the cold October breeze, you struggled to light it.

After finishing your book, you immediately started it over again. Something about this story and the captivating writing just couldn't keep you away. The author had a way with words. The way you hung on every word was addicting.

It was refreshing.

With your phone tossed to the side, you laid on your bedroom floor, nose buried in the used paperback book as usual. The book was well-loved with tattered and yellowing pages.

The buzzing of your phone put a momentary cease to your reading. Annoyed and forced back into the real world, you fished your phone from across the room and read your messages.

New message

Suna: costume party Friday 9:30 pm

With an exasperated huff, you responded with the simple word "No.”

Suna: Your coming

Suna: It'll be fun

You: No. I'm reading.

You never thought of parties as anything special. In fact, they just gave you a headache. With all the annoying loudmouth assholes and drunk party girls, you just didn't find any enjoyment in them. Besides, intoxicated men were even more of a hassle to shake off than sober men. You simply didn't have the energy.

Suna: Fine I'll just post that video of you sucking me off ;) Compensation for making me go alone

You: Fine. I'll come. Jesus.

Suna: Atta girl

So here you were, Halloween night stuck at a party with Suna fucking Rintarō. Except, he hadn't shown up yet. Sitting in the far corner, a light drink in your hand, you watched the door. Many familiar faces came and went, but none of them were Suna's. You even threw together a last-minute costume, wearing a bloody doctor uniform, fake knife and all.

Sighing deeply, you stood up, ready to leave. He forced you to come, and the asshole doesn't even show. Typical.

"Looking for me?" Those familiar flaming fingertips ghosted along your hips. Suna's voice hummed behind you. He was so close you could feel his breaths tickle the back of your neck.

Turning around to greet him, you were shocked to see his costume.

"What the hell are you wearing?" You snorted, almost spilling your drink. Suna's costume was a white sexy nurse uniform. The short dress rode up his muscular thighs and the low-cut collar showed off his chest. It was even complete with a small hat with a red cross on it.

Suna scoffed, snatching the hat off. "I lost a bet. Ignore it."

You laughed, throwing your head back and squeezing your eyes shut. You had the type of laugh to make everyone stop in their tracks and listen to the angelic sound. Like all good things, it ended far too quickly.

Suna smiled. "Yeah, you think this is funny? Well, we're matching costumes, so laugh it up, baby. We look like a real couple now."

Your laughter died down immediately. "That's not funny."

"Really?" He inquired, taking the drink from your hands. "I find it hilarious." He downed the rest of your drink, nose scrunching in disgust. "The hell is this? There's barely any alcohol in here."

You rolled your eyes, "I drove here. I'm not trying to get drunk."

"Boring," He deadpanned. "Stay here. I'll get you a real drink."

The mixed smells of drinks and smokes flooded your nose. The sound of the bumping music accompanied by the whoops and hollers of drunken college students was more than annoying. And here comes Suna, the biggest headache of them all with your drink.

"You didn't put anything in it, did you?"

He scoffed, offended. "You really think that lowly of me? I'm hurt."

You put your hands up in defense before taking the drink. "You can never be too careful." The drink had a sharp taste, not very good, but what did it matter? Alcohol was alcohol.

His lips quirked upward as he watched your sour face force the drink down. "Not your taste?"

"It's disgusting." You couldn't take him seriously in that costume. "Now, put your stupid little hat back on. You dragged me out here. We might as well have some fun."

"Give me a second. I have to do something first."

You rolled your eyes, a common occurrence when you were with him. "Don't get lost." You teased.

And with those words, he disappeared, leaving you alone once again.

Bored, not knowing what else to do with yourself, you started dancing. You felt the music flow through you like it was the blood in your veins. There was something about music that was always so captivating.

"Y/N!" A voice called. You didn't recognize him. You probably had a few classes with him here and there. He was waving you over, and as much as you hated being here, it was better than being bored out of your mind, so you made your way over to the group.

"Play spin the bottle with us." He smiled. The rest of the group cheered. With a shrug of your shoulders, you downed the rest of your drink and sat with them.

“Sure, why not?”

You weren’t exactly sure what had happened, it was like your mind left your body, and then you came back to Earth all wasted while making out with some dude on the couch. You can’t say you were enjoying it, not when you had experienced how Suna could make you feel, but it was good enough.

The guy was sloppy, clearly inexperienced, and boring. It was like he was a high school boy who thought he was all that when in actuality, he was a pile of shit. He was wearing a catboy costume, so you weren’t really sure what you had expected from him.

“-N, Y/N, Y/N!” A loud, familiar voice broke the trance you were in. You pulled yourself away from the wannabe and look towards where the voice came from. It was Suna.

“What are you doing?” As upset as he seemed, you struggled to take him seriously when he was dressed like that. The dress already had a hole by his hips, revealing his wrinkled boxers.

“What do you mean?” You attempted to take a stand but wobbled a bit from intoxication.

“You came here with me, but you’re making out with some other guy. Are you that desperate for attention?” You knew he was drunk, you knew he was an idiot, but his words still hurt. It was like after all the time you spent together, the late nights and interrupted quiet time, you had forgotten exactly who he was. He was Suna fucking Rinatarō, master asshole and fuckboy.

Letting out a scoff, you pushed past him, bumping your shoulder into his body, “go fuck yourself, Suna.”

“Where do you think you’re going?” He hollered out, chasing after you.

“You don’t get to just say shit like that. You’re acting like I cheated on you.” You patted down your body in search of your keys, desperate to get away from the boy with mood swings that could give you whiplash. You were so not dealing with this today. He invited you—no, blackmailed you—and has the audacity to act like this? Unbelievable.

“I mean, you kinda did cheat.” He spat back, his tone laced with harsh, poisonous venom.

Turning around sharply, you sent the 6’1 man-child a cold, spine-chilling glare. “I cheated on you? Okay, let’s turn that around. If that’s cheating, then so were all the girls you’ve slept with within the past month. Let’s get one thing fucking clear, Suna. It’s not cheating if I wasn’t with your ass.”

“You’re such a bitch.” Despite it being a pitiful excuse for a comeback, it still stung. It hurt only because it came from him.

“So are you. I know your little secrets, too. Your sister told me.” You bit back as you gestured to the phone in your hand.

“Oh really?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “what secrets do I have? Please tell, Y/N.”

“I know I’m nothing more than another heart for you to break. Akira told me everything, starting with your bet with Atsumu and ending with your little black book that holds the names of all the girls you broke. You’re really disgusting.” Your eyes started to tear up as you remembered that. That’s all you ever were and all you were ever going to be. Just another heart for him to heal.

“You’d be lucky to be a name in that book.” He rolled his eyes, and let out a scoff. Who were you to judge him for how he lived his life?

“Please, go fuck yourself.” And with that, you walked off in search of your car. You didn't care that you weren't in the right state to drive, all you knew was that you needed to get away from Suna.

For the past few weeks, you had been sticking to the routine of what your life had been like before you had ever met Suna Rinatarō. You slept, you went to your classes, you reread Sincerely Not, you ate, and then you slept again. Despite its simplicity, you couldn’t help but feel somewhat empty without that arrogant asshole. He filled the lonely moments in your life with laughter, pleasure, and annoyance. Guess what they say is true. You only know what you want when it’s gone.

Currently, you were curled up on your couch with your beloved copy of Sincerely Not in your hand. Even though you were reading the words, you struggled to comprehend them since your mind kept wandering elsewhere. Elsewhere to a certain fox-eyed boy.

Looking up from the pages, you watch the snow dance through the grey skies as they fell to the ground. It was the first snowfall of the year, and albeit quite early, you enjoyed the comfort it brought. You always preferred snowy weather. When the world falls silent, and the snow soaks up any sound the earth sings. The silent peace was heavy in your heart.

With the quiet comes the thoughts you had previously pushed aside. Thoughts of the future, thoughts of the past, and more recently, thoughts of Suna.

As if on cue, a knock on the door disturbed your quiet. Tucking the bookmark between the pages, you set it down beside you and walked over to the door. Peeking through the peephole, your heart started to quicken at the sight of Suna in front of your door with a bottle of vodka in one hand and a copy of Pride and Prejudice in the other.

Opening the door just enough for you to be seen, but for it to not be an invitation for him to come inside, you tried your best to conceal how you really felt. You had to keep up a strong front.

“What are you doing here?” You questioned him while examining his appearance. Snow fell on his eyelashes and his nose dusted an angry red. He seemed to have bags under his eyes, as well as dampened hair from the snow.

“Can we talk?” He responded, shifting side to side, teetering from one foot to the other.

“I guess.”

“Can I come inside?”

You were hesitant, not because he’s an asshole, but because when it comes to him, you just can’t control yourself.

You nodded your head, widening the door more so he could step inside. He swiftly slipped off his shoes and handed you the book. As soon as he stepped in, he noticed how the apartment had a faint stench of smoke, something that wasn’t there last time. He knew you detested smoking indoors, you didn’t want your apartment to smell like the poison you took daily. But the new scent made him wonder if this little break between the two of you had affected you as much as it affected him.

“Why did you get me a copy of Pride and Prejudice?” Analyzing the cover, you recognized it from Barnes and Noble. It was one of their leatherback editions that they sold for $25. Did he really spend $25 on a book?

“Well, I asked the help lady at that book store what kind of books girls like. I had to describe you a bit for her to get the picture, but she said she thinks you’d like this book, so I got it.” He set the bottle of vodka on your kitchen table and took a seat on your wooden chairs. He didn’t look at you. Keeping his eyes downcast and apologetic, he waited for you to accept the gift.

“Did she lead you to this book specifically?” Although the book was beautiful with its cerulean blue cover, gold detailing, and green pages, you found it most unnecessary, especially since you already owned the exact copy.

“Yeah, why?”

“They have another copy of this in the adult fiction section for seven bucks. Different cover, but cheaper price. I also already have this book.” You explained, holding back the small laugh that wanted to escape.

He stared at you for a minute, taking time to comprehend your words. “I think I got scammed.”

Taking in a deep breath, you looked him in the eyes and prepared for the conversation to come. “So why are you here?”

“To apologize?” He responded although it sounded more like a question.

“Well, I don’t hear an apology, Suna.” Taking the seat across from him, you noticed how his eyes watched your every move, almost like he was taking you in like a breath of fresh air, cherishing you as if you could disappear at any given moment.

“Rintarō.”

Your eyes shot up, making contact with his own yellowish-green ones. You noticed the eye bags that decorated his features. They were darker than they were a few weeks ago. “What?”

“Call me Rintarō.”

“Okay?”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? Yeah, I said some really shitty stuff, but I won’t apologize for the bet. First of all, I want the $100. Secondly, this is just what we do. All the guys in the frat are assholes, and you know this. You knew I was an asshole and you still let me fuck you weekly. I’m not sorry for that.” He explained as he shrugged, almost like he was shrugging off how that affected you.

“I mean, yeah, I get it, but that doesn’t mean I like it. I don’t want to be some guy’s bet. I have standards, and I won’t let myself get treated like this. I’m not a toy for you to just toss aside when you’re tired of playing with it. I’m a human being, Rintarō, okay?”

“I know that. That’s why I keep you around. You’re different from everyone else. You’re smart, you’re hot as fuck, and you don’t put up with my bullshit.” Slumping in the chair, he looked like a child who wasn’t getting their way. In a sense, he was.

“Then what do you want?” You get what he was trying to do, but like he said, you weren’t going to put up with his bullshit. “I’m not a mind reader, you know?”

“You.”

“What do you mean?”

Taking your hand in his, he rubbed circles on the back of your hand. “I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine. No labels, just us. All I know is that I don’t want to stop what we have. I don’t know what it is, but I like it.”

“Why no labels?” You questioned. You didn’t quite understand that. To you, labels clarified what you were to each other, what your relationship meant.

“I don’t like that shit. It’s gross.” As he said that, a grimace at the mere thought of labels crawled onto his face.

“So it’s you, it’s me, and just us?” You questioned. Perhaps this was as clear of an answer as you were going to get.

“Just us.” He reassured.

And for the rest of the night, you and Rintarō found solace in each other’s embrace. His head rested on your breasts as his jaded eyes tried to keep themselves open.

Raising his head, his eyes met yours. They had a soft, child-like innocence to them. It reminded you of a child who was begging St. Mary for some blessings, praying that she would come through for him. “Don’t leave, okay?”

Running your fingers through his soft, disheveled hair, you replied, “As long as you don’t leave first.”

With each step you took, it left an imprint of your foot in the snow. An imprint of you, evidence that you were there. That you had left your mark on the world. Hand in hand, you and Rintarō walked back to your apartment from the bar where the two of you and a few of your friends drank to celebrate.

You could safely say that this was your best birthday yet. The big 21 ended up being the best out of 21. Growing up, you and your grandmother were never really able to do much for birthdays. Ever since your parents had passed away when you were nine, that sweet, elderly lady had been taking care of you. She worked hard to provide for you, and even though you didn’t have much, you still had a great childhood. Your grandma made sure that you would.

“So, what was your favorite part of today?” Rintarō looked down at you with a small smile, his eyes glistening with adoration.

You reflected that look in your own eyes. How could you not, though? With snowflakes melting in his dark hair, a faint blush from the cold, and his small smile to tie it all together.

“God, how could I choose?” You threw your head back, looking up at the starless sky, and let out a giggle. A giggle of pure joy and happiness.

Staring at you, Rintarō felt his heart speed up as heat spread throughout his body. He wondered if this is what it felt like to truly love someone. Though he never thought of that much since every time it came up in his mind, he pushed it aside. He’d make up excuses like how it was too soon, or how he could never love, and even the fear of becoming his father. He’d use every excuse in the book and push away the thought. But even so, his heart was starting to overpower his mind.

“I’d say my personal favorite was the indoor amusement park. Especially when I kept beating your ass in the arcade.” He thought back to when he continuously beat your ass in Fast and Furious five times consecutively. He enjoyed witnessing you whine like a child when you kept losing. It showed a great disparity between how you show yourself to the world and how he gets to see you.

“Oh, shut it.” You gently shoved him with your shoulder, “I think my favorite was when we had dinner with my friends. Nothing beats a good meal with the people you care about.”

“Boring.” He dragged out, playfully rolling his eyes. Catching view of your apartment up ahead, he sent a side glance towards you before taking off. “Last one there is the rotten egg.”

Laughing at his childish game, you cautiously ran towards the building, being careful to not slip on the wet sidewalk that glistened with snow.

It didn’t come as a surprise to you when his childish game ended with his head between your thighs, leaving dark marks on your inside thighs as he made his way up to your cunt. He took his time, making sure to leave every inch of you as equally loved as another part. Usually, you loved it; the slow, gradual build-up tying your stomach in a knot as the anticipation built.

But not tonight. Tonight was different.

Tonight, you need him to do it quick, hard, and rough.

Propping yourself up onto your elbows, you hesitantly spoke to him in a hushed tone, “Rin, I need you now. Please, just do something. Anything. I just… I just need it right now.”

“So impatient,” he tsked, “fine, if that’s what the birthday girl wants, that’s what the birthday girl gets.”

He adjusted himself to get more comfortable before he slid your legs over his shoulders and dove in. As his tongue lightly licked your folds, you felt a rush of sudden pleasure throughout your body. No matter how many times he had eaten you out, every time still made you feel like a virgin getting touched for the very first time. Your chest heaved as you tried to regulate your breathing, and your teeth clenched while you made futile attempts to hold back your whimpers.

“Fuck.” You breathed out, your fingers grasping your previously clean and pristine bedsheets. You knew very well that he could do this forever, that if he could die between your thighs, he would.

You weren’t sure if it was due to the overwhelming pleasure or something else, but all you knew was that you hadn’t noticed that his fingers had slid inside of you until you felt them curve inside of you. The additional stimulation forced ripples of moans to release from your throat, and if it weren’t for his other hand holding you down, your hips bucking would have thrown him off his rhythm.

The way he stuffed himself full of you reminded you of a starving dog, and the look in his eyes whenever your eyes would lock reminded you of a dangerous predator waiting to absolutely destroy his prey.

The faster he thrust his fingers in and out of you, the more difficult you found it was to keep your mind present. Your legs were shaking and kept trying to close in on him, and you felt your own pleasure reaching its peak.

“R-Rin, ‘m gonna cum.” Your voice came out raspy and strangled as your breathing picked up. With how quick your heart was beating paired with your breathing, you felt like you were running from a lion.

Satisfied moans left your mouth as you finally reached your peak. Your legs fell limp on each side of Rintarō, and you could barely keep your eyes open. Getting up from his spot, he crawled over towards you and you could see the juices dripping from his mouth. He placed a loving kiss on your lips and whispered in your ear,

“Happy birthday, birthday girl.”

By the time the New Year rolled around, you and Rintarō were absolutely smitten for each other. Of course, like every relationship, you had your issues. You were stubborn and self-righteous while he was selfish and manipulative. One minute, he was lashing out about the smallest thing, and the next, he was all over you. You drove each other absolutely crazy, but you loved each other for it.

There were a lot of pros in your relationship, too. You got him into more literature and art (albeit, it’s more so you reading to him and him trying not to fall asleep), and he brought you out of your shell. You attended more parties, you hung out with his frat brothers, and you even held a full conversation with Atsumu without rolling your eyes.

You simultaneously completed each other and changed each other for the better. The permanent lovesick feeling you got when he looked at you was something you’d never get used to. They say when you’re truly in love, the butterflies never go away.

Lighting a cigarette, you escaped into your inner world as you waited for your boyfriend to come back with your drinks. You were currently at Atsumu’s New Year's Eve party at his parents’ Tokyo house, and you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t want to leave. Sinking further into the couch, you closed your eyes and soaked up as much instant relief as you could. Eventually, the music was no longer as loud as it was, and it was just you versus the world.

You felt like you were floating underwater like you were disconnected from your own world but in the best way possible. The loud chatter and music were subdued, sounding like it was coming from above water, from outside the imaginary pool.

‘All my troubles on the burning pile all lit up and I start to smile. If I catch fire, then I’ll change my aim. Throw my troubles at the world again.’

You hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed until you felt Atsumu shaking you, making you realize you were half asleep the entire time.

“What?” You groaned, feeling irritable from the sudden awakening.

“Where’s Suna?” He questioned, “we’re suppos’d to be playin’ a game r’now. You can join if ya want.”

Glancing at the time on your phone, you noticed he had been gone for half an hour. “He said he was getting us drinks, but it’s been thirty minutes. I’ll find him for you.”

Getting up from your seat, it took you a minute to get readjusted. Realizing your cigarette went out while you were asleep, you took out another and lit it. Putting it between your teeth, you let it hang there as you grabbed your things and went to look for your missing lover.

You looked in the kitchen, and he wasn’t there. You looked in the bathrooms, the bedrooms, and the basement. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Spotting Kita Shinsuke, the president of Rintarō’s fraternity, by the sliding doors you decided to approach him. He was cold, brutal, and intelligent. You haven’t had many conversations with him, but none of them ever ended well.

“Hey, Kita. Have you seen Rin anywhere?” Holding onto your cigarette in one hand, you let out a yawn and leaned against the white doorframe.

He glanced at you and scoffed. ‘Can’t believe this is the girl he’s dating. She’s a mess.’ He never really liked you, and you didn’t like him either, so it was mutual.

“Why do you want to know? Did he escape from his leash?” His cold glare was as harsh as his words, but you wouldn’t let him see that they pricked your heart a bit.

“Wow, Kita. Is there a cactus where your heart is supposed to be?” You returned his glare as you attempted to keep your composure. Cussing out Kita isn’t your goal, finding Rintarō is.

“Yeah. What do you want?” If you didn’t despise this grinch, you’d actually laugh at his dry response.

“Have you seen Rintarō?” You restated your question, losing your patience for the dual-colored hair man.

A knowing smirk grew on his lips, “Yeah, he’s outside.”

“Was that so hard?” You remarked with a sarcastic smile.

“Yes. It was the worst. Now get out of my sight.” And for once, you obliged with his order.

Opening the sliding door, you left the building and walked the perimeter in search of him. It didn’t take very long to find him, he was sitting on the grass.

The only issue was that his lips were attached to a girl. A girl who wasn’t you.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Rintarō?” You hollered out as anger spread within you. You could feel the pure hatred boiling from your own personal pit of eternal damnation. “You really are a selfish piece of shit, Suna Rintarō.”

Storming off, you wrapped your arms around yourself to keep yourself warm. You heard him yelling for your name, begging for you to stop, but you were done listening to him and his pretty lies.

You walked a few blocks before entering the town center. The Christmas lights were still up, and they illuminated the empty night. Your eyes scanned the area, watching as people drunkenly stumbled across the streets. It was New Year’s Eve after all.

“Please, babe. Can you just listen to me?” He growled out as he followed you down the road. His patience was dwindling and he was going to do something regrettable soon if you didn’t just listen.

“I’m not going to let you break my heart, Rintarō. I refuse to be another girl in your sick little book of names.” You growled as you picked up your speed, desperately wanting to get away from him. How dare he treat you like this, how dare he treat your love like it was nothing.

“But I’m not going to, babe. I want you, and I mean it.” He hollered as he chased you down the sidewalk. He truly wanted to be with you. Every moment he spent without you felt like his own personal hell. He needed you more than he wanted to admit, and as much as he hated it, he was madly in love with you.

“Stop following me, Rintarō. I don’t wanna talk to you.” You angrily huffed as you tried to get as far away from him as you could.

“She came onto me, I pushed her off because you’re the only one I want. Babe, you gotta believe me. I would never cheat on you, I could never purposely hurt you because I lo-”

Promptly turning around, you stopped in the middle of the street, and you tossed your cigarette onto the ground, angrily crushing it with your boot, “Please don’t say you love me.” As your voice cracked, he noticed how hauntingly beautiful the sad smile that was spread across your face was, and how it paired nicely with the tears that ran down your cheeks, subtly reflecting a light. It almost distracted him from what was happening.

You hadn’t noticed why, there was something about the way that he screamed that caught your attention. Maybe it was the pure terror that laced his tone or the cracking of his voice. Either way, by the time that you noticed what he was screaming about, it was too late and you were already blinded by the truck’s headlights.

And there Rintarō stood by the stoplight with tears streaming down his face. He heard someone screaming, but he couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. Not until he felt the rawness that tickled his throat did he realize that he was the one screaming. He rushed over to his lover’s body that fell limp in the middle of the street. The truck driver got out of his vehicle, falling to his knees as he realized what he had done. He had taken the life of another. Sure, it was an accident, but if there was one thing that connected Rintarō to the driver, it was the overwhelming guilt they had both felt.

Rintarō cradled your body as he prayed to whoever would listen to him to bring your soul back to your physical body, “Please, fucking please wake up, Y/N. Wake the fuck up. I know you’re mad, but this is a sick prank. You can’t fucking do this. You can’t leave me here. I’m begging you. Please, anyone, if you’re there, please bring her back. Fuck, this isn’t fucking fair. Come back, Y/N, I need you.”

He let out a hiccup as his sobs took over and shook his body. He let out another heart-clenching scream that anyone on the block could hear and immediately know what had happened. He had just lost the love of his life, someone who was embedded into his soul, and a part of himself he will never get back.

He didn’t even realize that 911 was called until he was being pried away from her body. It was like his perspective was switched into slow motion as he watched the paramedics bag your body and take you away. His world was completely flipped, and there was nothing he could do about it. If it weren’t for the policeman holding him back, he would’ve already boarded the ambulance and tried to spend every last minute with you. You weren’t dead yet, you could still be saved. He knew you could.

As the ambulance disappeared from his line of sight, all he could think was ‘what have we done to each other?’

He barely even noticed the paramedic walking up to him, not until he felt his shoulder being shook. Despite knowing the answer, the paramedic asked, “Sir, are you alright?” Rintarō couldn’t do anything but nod, his throat too raw to speak.

He felt like this was nothing but a movie. Like he was watching himself from outside his body. The way the blue and red lights lit up the night, and illuminated his face, allowing the watchers to see the tears that could not stop running as he stood in the middle of the street mindlessly, surrounded by police cars and ambulances. He wished that this was only a movie, he really did.

Clearing his throat, he tried to speak, “She’s going to be okay, right? They’re going to fix her, and then she can come home.” His voice was raspy, almost barely audible, like an old toy. He turned his gaze over to the paramedic, who looked at him with pitiful eyes. This only drove him over the cliff. “She’s coming home, right?” His voice cracked as he continued to try to speak, the pain that stabbed the inside of his throat like tiny needles punishing him for all the screaming he had done.

The paramedic let out a long sigh, preparing for his reaction. Of course, they had heard his screaming. He hadn’t stopped screaming until they bagged her. “I’m sorry, sir, but it seems that she died on impact. There’s nothing that can be done.”

The look on Rintarō’s face would’ve killed the paramedic if it could. The grimace that contorted his features accompanied by the burning rage in his eyes haunted the paramedic for the rest of the night. “You’re a filthy liar. I know Y/N, she wouldn’t leave me like this. No, she loves me. You’re lying. I want to be taken to her immediately.”

He had grabbed a hold of the uniform she was wearing, closing the spacing between them and getting all up in her face. She could smell the alcohol that tainted his breath, it was like an awful candle being shoved in her face. If it wasn’t for the officer who pulled him off of her, she would’ve decked him then and there.

“Sir, you need to calm down and come to the station with us. We need to get your statement, but seriously, calm down.” Rintarō stared down at the officer as if he was having an internal debate about whether he should listen or not when Y/N’s voice rang in his head.

‘They’re only doing their job, Rin.’

And as always, she was right.

He nodded his head and followed the officer to his vehicle. You had just left the world and the ghost of your words were already haunting his mind.

Rintarō looked up at the night sky. His lip trembled as he tried his best to hold back the sobs that have been harassing his throat all night long. He didn’t know how he was going to live without you. Everything he did was to get you, and then eventually, it was to keep you. He wanted you to play with his hair one last time. He wanted to hold you in his arms as the two of you danced around your kitchen one last time. He wanted to feel your lips on his one last time.

He remembered a time when Y/N had told him that when you’re truly in love, the butterflies never go away. You were right about that. Months after her death, and he’s still as in love with her as if she was right beside him.

Taking a seat on the park bench, Rintarō looked up at the night sky, and he swore it seemed brighter that night. He thought maybe it was because you were now a star watching over him. If you were right, then maybe one day, he’ll join you. One day, he’ll be right next to you again in a constellation you had started. And when the day that he joins you comes, he won’t be alone anymore. That’s something he’s sure of.

As he opened Sincerely Not and turned to the first page, he cleared his throat before he read to the stars, “Chapter one. Marriage is a sacred bond. With over seven billion people around the world, you were granted to have only one person to be your chosen life-long partner.” He let out a breathy, heartbroken chuckle after reading that line.

If only the two of you had forever.

[sturchling]

I think you will like this request. It would be like a different take on the usual Miraculous-Batman crossovers. Only instead of Marinette meeting Damian and the two falling in love, it's Adrien and Damian.

Marinette could have transferred to a different school, so Adrien is alone in class with only Juleka, Kim, and Nathaniel as his real friends. So during a field trip to Gotham, he manages to get Lila off of his arm by saying he needs to go to the bathroom. But he really just wants away from her. And during this alone time, he meets Damian. The two of them hit it off.

They start dating during the trip, Adrien instantly becoming loved by the rest of the Bat family. And they only love him more when they hear about his horrible father.

The field trip can end with Damian exposing Lila as a liar as a present for his boyfriend, also surprising him with the proper paperwork to transfer him to Gotham Academy.

Thanks for being patient. Hope you like how it turned out.

Adrien was so tired of this. Of being Lila's fake trophy boyfriend. He hated this so much. He only did it cause his dad was forcing him, for the brand. He didn't even like girls like that. He now sincerely regretted ever taking the high road. Marinette had been right, they should have cut this off at the root and revealed her on day one. But he hadn't listened, too scared of Lila being akumatized or his father deciding to pull him out of school. Now it was too late.

Marinette was long gone. She transferred out of Dupont to a fancy arts academy somewhere else in the city and was very happy there with all her new friends. Meanwhile, Adrien was facing Lila alone. Well, almost alone. A few members of the class had woken up and realized that Lila was nothing but a liar after Marinette left. Juleka, Kim, and Nathaniel knew Marinette well enough that they knew she wouldn't go so far as to transfer schools over a little jealousy. Then they looked into Lila's stories and figured it out. Since then, they have tried to help Adrien as much as possible. Try to get him some time away from Lila.

Now they were in Gotham for a class trip and Adrien was miserable. Lila had been glued to his side all day, her nails sinking into his arm any time he tried to pull away. Finally when they were all at dinner that night, Adrien was able to pry himself free with an excuse that he needed to use the restroom. He escaped to the restroom and took a deep breath, desperate to make his reprieve last as long as possible.

Just as he was leaving the restroom when he ran head first into a man heading into the restroom. They crashed to the floor, and Adrien scrambled to get off of him, incredibly embarrassed. "Oh, I am so sorry! Are you ok?" Adrien helped the mystery man up and he dusted himself off. "Yes, I am quite alright. Thank you for the hand." Adrien smiled awkwardly, "Of course, I still feel bad for knocking you over and getting your clothes dirty. is there any way I can repay you?" The mystery man smirked. "Well, how about you let me take you out of here and somewhere better for dinner? It is alright if you would prefer not to." Adrien smiled, both because he saw a way out of this hellish dinner with Lila and the class, and because this handsome guy just asked him out. "I'd like that a lot. I'm Adrien Agreste, what's your name?" The boy smiled at him, and started to lead Adrien out, "Damian. Damian Wayne."

Adrien and Damian had a fantastic time that night. And every night after that for the remainder of the trip. They would hand out every night once the mandatory tours for the class were done. Adrien would stay far away from Lila, with his group of friends during the tour, and vanish to go meet Damian as soon as they were given free time. He had even visited the manor the other night and the whole Wayne family already loved him, seeing how much of a good influence he was on Damian.

But this had Lila fuming. How was she supposed to be the envy of Gotham with Adrien on her arm, if Adrien kept disappearing to God knows where every night. She had seen him leaving with some man every night, but she didn't know who he was. But she was determined to nip this in the bud. So on the final night of the trip, she set her plan in motion.

As expected, once the tours were done, and they had freshened up at the hotel, Lila waited in the lobby and sure enough Adrien came down soon after. Lila saw the mystery man at the door, smiling and waving at Adrien. The class was also nearby, wondering where Adrien was going. This hadn't escaped anyone's notice which made it all the more important for Lila to stop this. If she didn't it wouldn't be long before other people started wondering why Adrien was going with this stranger every night instead of on romantic dates with her. So when he was almost to the mystery man, Lila leaped into action. She grabbed Adrien's arm and dug her nails in until he winced. "Adrien, where are you going? You skipped out on all our dates this week and keep leaving with this stranger. I've been all alone, you should spend time with your girlfriend."

Adrien grimaced and Lila smirked, sure her plan would work. Guilt and peer pressure always worked on Adrien. But before Adrien said anything, the stranger interrupted. "Excuse me, but who do you think you are to touch my boyfriend. You are nothing but a manipulative liar that he has been trying to placate. You are not his girlfriend. Now get your hands off him, you are hurting him." Lila was stunned, and the class was now looking at her funny, especially after he said she was hurting him. Not wanting to risk anything, Lila released his arm, and started crying. "Adrien, what is going on? Why would he say that. Were you cheating on me?" Just as the class seemed ready to turn on Adrien, Adrien looked at Damian who nodded encouragingly at him. Adrien had enough and the only way this would end is if he did something.

"That is enough Lila! You and I both know we aren't actually dating. My father just forced me to hang out with you for the brand. But I'm done. You hurt my friends and are constantly lying and rude to anyone who tries to reveal you. Damian is my significant other, not you. Now leave me alone, we have a date." With that, Adrien and Damian linked arms and left the class standing there stunned as they went to dinner. And then the best part of the night was Damian revealing that he had filed the appropriate paperwork to get Adrien away from his father and Lila and transfer him here to Gotham Academy. Adrien was thrilled that he finally stood up for himself against Lila and in a way his father. And he wouldn't have felt confident enough to do that if not for Damian.

[bccky]

Made For Each Other

Chapter 1 - The White

Pairing: King!Steve Rogers X Queen!Reader (Royal AU)

Summary: The King of Loh, Steve Rogers and you have been betrothed to each other since you were children. Along the way, you fall in love, leading to many, if not all, to believe that you two are made for each other.

If this was true, then why did Steve lead an attack on your kingdom and force you to marry him the very next day?

Words: 770

Warnings: angst, hatred, forced marriage, forced kiss, enemies to lovers, bad Stevie (warnings will change with each chapter)

A/N: I had written this way back when I had been experimenting with dark fiction, but I couldn't make myself write Steve without a redemption arc lol. Not beta'd.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist • Series Masterlist

Ps. I imagine Steve in this series to have a body like Chris does in the Red Sea Diving Resort... Like ya know, big :) with a beard like Andy Barber and usually slicked back blond hair but like feel free to imagine him as you want ;D also, find the picture of the dress at the bottom Xx

"With the power vested in me by His Majesty, I now pronounce you man and wife." The priest exclaims joyously, though it all feels like a farce to you. 

Marriage is supposed to be between lovers, and if required, a mutually beneficial arrangement between the two at the very least. In this case, it seems like only one benefits everything, while the other loses all.

And why wouldn't it? This is no happy occasion, but an overzealous attempt to display the King's power, Steve's power.

He does not deserve the title, you decide mentally.

He's not your king. He'll never be your king.

The priest continues after stopping for a dramatic pause, "Your Majesty may now kiss your bride." 

There's a collective sound of 'aww's as Steve takes a step towards you.

To an outside eye, it must be easy to be deceived by his conniving smirk, since it may look like a shy grin. But as you stand across him at the altar, you can't be tricked. 

Steve's baby blue eyes darken as he leans forward to capture your lips, not deterred when you don't make an effort to kiss him back or even close your eyes, but cups your cheek in his palm to make your unwillingness discreet. 

You wish you could just run away and start anew with a quiet life where no one knows who you are, but you can't. Your hands are cuffed together and strategically posed so that your long veil makes it invisible to the prying eyes.

Steve's Royal Advisor and your maid of honor, Lady Romanoff, has held the edge of a blade against your lower back, which you guess is also concealed by some part of your white wedding gown and the angle you both are standing in.

You can tell Steve is getting frustrated, his grasp on your face more rough, and he glances behind your shoulder, a supposed instruction to Lady Romanoff because she increases the pressure on the blade.

It almost cuts through the skin of your exposed back, the threat making you comply and let Steve's tongue roam your mouth for however long he wishes. 

If it wasn't for Romanoff, you would've bit his tongue off. 

Now, you stand helplessly still as Steve's cold blue eyes glimmer in satisfaction at the defiance in yours as he pulls away.

His dark gaze reminds you of the previous day when he was dragging you out of your castle by your hair, showing how you were nothing more than a game to him. 

And as much as you want to slap the smug smirk off his face, you don't, knowing that acting out will only further the bratty image of yours that Steve presented you as to his people. 

You are only a trophy from his latest conquest, the infamous headstrong princess that he claimed for himself upon taking over your kingdom, your home forcefully, even though you were going to be his soon.

Steve went as far as to want you to think that you were getting a privilege since he had ordered the rest of your family to be imprisoned after a five days long war. 

"Let's see how long you last before I break you." The way he utters the words as he pulls away would make you or any other woman recoil away, but you're determined to not show him even an ounce of fear. 

You're not going to let him win.

There are thousands of eyes that watch your union with their beloved King, and you know that if you want even an ounce of their favour and support should you ever require it, being calm and composed is the only way. 

You need to be seen as a collected and resilient Queen, even a quiver in your actions can be held against you. 

So you stand straight and square your shoulders, conveying through your body language that you're not giving up. You're not going to be the one that loses. 

A new crown is set upon your head that matches the colour and the precious metals of the one that Steve wears.

It's nothing like your old tiara, though lighter in weight, it feels burdening and as if it is made up of thorns, bringing a sense of discomfort and alienation.

"I now present to you, the King and Queen of Loh." The Herald announces and Steve is quick to change his demeanor into the poor substitute of the kind-hearted king the world thinks him to be. 

He puts an arm around your waist, forcing you to face the crowd. "Smile and wave, my darling." And you do as he says, reminding yourself that you're only biding your time.

I’d love to hear what you think! Please like, reblog and comment to let me know :) Comments and reblogs make my day Xx

If you'd like to read more of my works, click on the masterlist linked on the top of this post!

If you wanna be tagged for the next part, please reblog this and mention it there 😊

Lastly, may I present to you, the wedding dress: