#Traumatic Experience
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My emotionally abusive dad used scenes from horror movies to scare me into behaving how he wanted when I was a kid, but that was entirely on him and not the genre of horror.
I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
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It's impossible to separate the symptoms of autism from the symptoms of trauma because our society hasn't produced a single autistic person who wasn't traumatized in childhood yet
#asd#ASD#cptsd#complex post traumatic stress disorder#autism#trauma#autistic#traumatic childhood#traumatic experience#traumatic livelihood
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“But he was just a child”
So was I
And I’m suffering and he’s not
#cw cocsa#cocsa victim#cocsa vent#cocsa survivor#tw cocsa#csa vent#tw csa implied#csa survivor#tw csa#actually mentally ill#actually ptsd#ptsd vent#personal vent#traumatic experience#actuallytraumatized#mental health#repressed memories
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People don‘t seem to understand what trauma can do to you and how it can have an immense effect on your mental age.
Children and teenagers who experience traumatic events will develope differently than others.
Trauma can‘t just be erased.
I am in my mid twenties and sometimes still feel like i‘m barely eighteen.
That‘s because i didn‘t get to develope right- emotionally- during my childhood and my teenage years.
I was highly effected by my experiences-
mainly bullying and neglect.
I think quite a lot of people who had to experience things like these end up emotionally stunted and don‘t age the same as others.
I know people who come from a healthy family and never had problems due to bullying etc.
And they are a lot younger than me and still act a lot older.
Because they didn‘t have to fight dpression and mental disorders while maturing.
We on the other hand had to pick up the pieces of ourselves while trying to grow up besides others who never had to fight to stay alive.
We were so distracted by our problems that we had to stay behind.
I think this is exactly what happened to Severus.
He was not able to mature like others because of how his trauma affected him.
People tend to forget this and just shrug his experiences off.
Which is pretty horrible, insensitive and disrespectful to other victims of abuse as well if you ask me.
#severus snape#pro severus snape#always#harry potter#anti marauders#redemption arc#bullying#severus#growing up#maturing#emotions#emotionally stunted#traumatic responses#traumatic experience#trauma#aging#how trauma can affect aging
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My childhood trauma didn't make me stronger. it made me a people pleaser. it made me forgive way too much. it made me not speak when i'm supposed to. it made me an extreme empath.
#sadnees#feelings#love#thoughts#past#leave the world behind#childhood#childhood quotes#traumatic experience#traumatic childhood#im traumatised#actually traumatised#actually traumatized#trauma#never forget#forgetting#forget#life quotes#empathy#stronger#my weakness#weaknesses#serious weakness#weak#self image#self worth#self help#self portrait#self care#love yourself
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"I love you."
Then why does it hurt every single time you say it?
#bpd#vent#bpd vent#borderline personality disorder#bpdblr#borderline blog#bpd blog#actually borderline#bpd thoughts#bpd safe#bpd attachment#actually bpd#girl interupted syndrome#traumatic experience#self sabotage#self h@rm#tw selfhate#selfharrrm
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Children of September 11
Shadows in the sky so high As the towers screamed to the ground Fear in the eyes of a child Echoes of silence all around
World turned to gray that day Memories in a young heart stay Flames and smoke lit up the screen Haunting dreams don't fade away
[Chorus] Hearts breaking everywhere Lives lost in the burning air I can't forget the screams and fire Living now in fear's desire
8 years old with eyes so wide Innocence lost deep inside Watching the world come crashing down Nowhere safe in my hometown
[Bridge] Years pass but the scars remain Living through this endless pain Trying to heal what's broken within Strength to rise and begin again
[Chorus] Hearts breaking everywhere Lives lost in the burning air I can't forget the screams and fire Living now in fear's desire
#9/11#i remember 9/11#where were you on 9/11#9/11 song#Children of 9/11#complex post traumatic stress disorder#post traumatic stress disorder#CPTSD#childhood ptsd#childhood trauma#Never Forget#90s millennials#1993 babies#90s babies#I was 8 years old#I still have nightmares#traumatic childhood#traumatic experience#September 11 attacks#September 11 2001#traumatic flashbacks
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One time my mother, in a rage over open windows, came to my closed bedroom door and hit it so hard the coat hook attached to my side of it came down. The door did not open, as the handle needed to be turned to do that. When she engaged the handle the wooden coat hook, with my coats on top of it, caught under the door and jammed it in place.
I had been sitting happily on my bed, quietly playing Nintendogs on my DS when this happened, with no idea I'd done something wrong. When I head the door bang and watched the coat hanger clatter to the ground I lept up in fright and, on instinct, drew away from the door I anticipated would fly open at any second.
The door had no lock installed on it, and never had. We were not a locks on doors household, the only one being the tiny silver slide lock on the downstairs half bath. Nevertheless, she accused me of locking the door, and demanded I unlock it immediately.
I approached the shaking door gingerly, very afraid to be near it when the coat became dislodged. She was screaming and banging so hard and with such tenacity that I'd barely managed to jump out of its path just in time as it swung open fast and hard, missing my face by a hair and slamming hard against the wall.
Now inside my room, she approached, looming over me, screaming barely coherent words, scaring the absolute soul out of me. She had me backed into the corner on the other side of the room, drawn into myself completely, as if I could shrink into my own shadow and disappear.
Suddenly she stopped, turned around and went out the way she'd came.
"Clean up this shit." She snapped, gesturing the the mess of broken wood and coats that was now crumpled in a heap at the wall.
Then she was gone, slamming my door behind her, leaving me scared and shaking, my arms still reflexively up in a defense position my eyes still streaming. I stood there a moment composing myself, eyes glued on the door processing what had just happened.
Luckily I'd stood there in shock before jumping to her command to clean up the broken coat hooks, because if I hadn't the door would have hit me hard as she slammed it against the wall a second time.
I turned white as a sheet as I realised I was stood exactly as I was when she told me to clean the coats up less than twenty second prior.
"What are you doing in here?"
"Nothing" I answered honestly, my first word since this entire interaction began.
She screamed a long screech and stormed away. She left the door open with the coat mess behind it, and cowering like a frightened cat as she went to find something or someone else to inflict her mood onto.
I waited a beat to see if she was coming back, but once I'd tracked her footsteps to the back door, the complete other side to the house that I was on, I breathed for what felt like the first time in a whole minute. The room felt cold and the quiet, the repetitive music drifting out of my DS felt out of place. I carefully moved the door so I could get to what was behind it, ensuring I'd left it ajar so I could easily hear what was going on downstairs and have some warning if she came back.
Crouched uncomfortably, I began collecting and sorting the mess. Broken wood in one pile, coats in another, while I considered what to do with them now I had no hooks to hang them from. Mum might fly off again if I let them take up a lot of space if hung inside my wardrobe, but she also might if I let them take up 4 whole hooks supposed to be shared by the family on the coat hooks in the foyer. I could stack them in twos, only taking up two hooks, but I didn't want to face the wrath if one slipped or fell either. I was considering the possibility of hanging them on coat hangers on the outside of my wardrobe, draping them over the doors until I heard movement again.
I froze completely still while I tracked the movement from the back garden door, through the kitchen and into the dining room, going cold when I realised it was coming in my direction. It stopped at the stairs and my mums voice, shrill and too loud came from up them.
"Why is your door closed?"
I grabbed and pulled it open fast, praying she wouldn't come up and see how I'd let it scatter the wood pieces.
"Did I tell you to open it or did I ask you why it was closed?"
"I'm cleaning the wood up" I squeaked, scrambling to collect them all into the bin.
"Wood? What wood?" She asked. I trembled in horror hearing her begin up the stairs again. "What wood?" She repeated, angrier, I couldn't even string an explanation together, frightened that a retelling of the truth might come across too critical and earn me a beating.
It didn't matter anyway, because she was now in my bedroom doorway for the third time since this began, staring down at me as I got the last of the broken bits into the bin. My heart was thumping so painfully hard in my chest a panicked thought loudly told me that I'd surely have a heart attack and die at any moment.
"You've been up here for half an hour doing that?" She asked. I wasn't sure I was, but I nodded anyway.
She sighed angrily and took the coats from my lap. "Just play your game." She said, leaving the door ajar as she left.
Once my heart went back to normal and my cold skin warmed up, I allowed myself to sit gingerly on my bed again. I continued tracking her movements with my ears the rest of the day. They were less stompy and I even heard her laughing and joking on the phone.
I picked up a book and read for a while, then I let myself get back to my game, playing on mute, but still I let my ears follow her around the house, my stomach turning every time she approached the stairs. She left me alone till bed time, when she came to check I'd brushed my teeth and popped a hot chocolate on my night stand. I hugged her and let her kiss me and had nightmares all night.
#abusive parents#abusive mom#abuse recovery#narcissistic abuse recovery#narcissistic abuse#raised by narcissists#vent post#toxic parents#toxic mom#complex trauma#parental abuse#childhood trauma#dysfunctional family#dysfunctional household#traumatic experience#trauma recovery#trauma response#living with ptsd#ptsd recovery#complex ptsd#cptsd recovery#cptsd life#cpstd
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Fromage - part II
Hannibal Lecter x Will's daughter/teen patient reader
Summary : When Y/n for once arrives early for her therapy, she ends up in a life-or-death situation... And she has to fight too (s1 e08)
-> Feel free to insert yourself instead :) This is my first story and I am open to any criticism (be nice pls).
I just wanted to say that I am not the owner of this show, but I did make this story, so don't copy it without my knowledge, thank you.
"And where do you think you are going?" he took a couple of steps to her side of the room.
Hannibal couldn't stop him, feeling dizzy himself. Y/n opened the door, almost out of danger, but he had long legs and great range.
One second he was stretching out his hand, the next she was on the floor. His cord cutting across her cheek and neck. Y/n felt a searing pain, as if ten people slapped her at once, throwing her to the ground.
Tobias swung the wire again, aiming for her head. She dodged at the last second by ducking under the table, her blood stuck to her hair. Her sob was low, but Hannibal heard it. In a matter of heartbeats, he picked up a small sculpture and threw it at him. It hit Tobias's back and he crashed into the wooden door.
Hannibal had time to compose himself as he walked up to him and punched him in the face. Tobias got his jaw dislocated, but he still managed to boot Hannibal, swinging his string once more. It wrapped around Hannibal's hand, making a terrible sound similar to breaking bones.
----☆----☆----☆----
She wiped the blood from her cheek with her sleeve, feeling the deep gash every time she moved her facial muscles. Meanwhile, Tobias threw a tea table at Hannibal, destroying his favourite glass furniture. Enraged, Hannibal threw him over his other table in return. Y/n covered herself with her hands and curled up.
Tobias got hold of Hannibal's decorative knife and tried to stab him. Y/n crawled out the other side, picking up a shard of glass. And as he was about to stab Hannibal, she crept from his side and stabbed him in the shoulder.
Tobias screamed, letting go of Hannibal and grabbing the back of her head, slamming her into a wooden cabinet. Her vision went black and she passed out. Tobias stomped on her, but was stabbed by a pencil.
Focusing on Hannibal again, they made their way back to the ladder.
"You two are really annoying. When I kill you, I may use her guts, she seems to be a tough one," he grinned.
Hannibal saw red, such rudeness was too much. He let Tobias punch him through the ladder and grabbed his arm, breaking it. Tobias could only scream and wave a knife, but a clean blow to the neck sent him to the ground. Hannibal pulled out a handkerchief so as not to leave any prints on the stag statue and proceeded to beat the shit out of him.
----☆----☆----☆----
Y/n regained her consciousness as she felt Hannibal's hand cupping her face.
"You were so reckless Mažasis, but you saved my life," He gently stroked her hair.
"You killed him," she breathed out in relief, "was that mercy?"
“Tobias?”
“Franklin.”
“And what if it was not?” Hannibal cocked his head, clearly testing her.
----☆----☆----☆----
"If he was killed simply for living, may his death be kinder than man," she whispered, glancing to where his body was lying lazily.
As she slowly pulled herself together, Hannibal called the FBI.
"They're going to ask questions."
"So we answer them, from the bottom of our hearts," Y/n knew what he meant, she would have to lie.
"Is my dad gone? "Y/n remembered what Tobias had said.
"I suppose so, but I hope not."
She began to cry, not caring that her blood mixed with her tears and made her face look like a painting of a wild berry cake. Hannibal's warm embrace lulled her to sleep, and when she awoke, her father was standing over her. Hannibal was patched up, only his bloody face remained.
"We were worried you were dead," Hannibal said lovingly to Will, still holding her in his arms.
"Dad!" was the first word of Y/n.
Will took her from Hannibal and kissed her bruised forehead.
“If I had got here sooner I would have killed him myself, I am glad you are all right, though you are still injured. I am so sorry Y/n/n," Will whispered, his brows furrowed with worry.
"She saved me, you have a fierce child, Will. I admire her, although she shouldn't have been here in the first place," Hannibal smiled, then raised his eyebrow.
“Yeah, that was mainly my fault, I couldn't take her here today,” Will scratched his neck, obviously feeling guilty.
----☆----☆----☆----
After that, Jack had interrogated both of them, but for the most part she had not even had to lie as she had been face first into the ground. Her face was bandaged, the blood was washed off and ice was put on her forehead.
Y/n made a mental note to never come early to her sessions again, and to always carry a knife.
#child reader#hannibal nbc#hannibal lecter#will graham#teen reader#original character#hurt/comfort#traumatic experience#y/n#hannibal
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What is COCSA, CSA, and IFCSA?
Child sexual abuse (CSA) is defined as sexual activity with a child by an adult, adolescent or older child.
Child-on-child sexual abuse (COSCA) is defined as sexual activity between children that occurs without consent, without equality (mentally, physically or in age) or as a result of physical or emotional conflict
Intrafamilial sexual abuse (IFCSA) is sexual abuse that occurs within a family environment, and can be perpetrated by a family member such as parents, siblings, grandparents, foster carers, and parent's partners,uncles or aunts, step siblings, and cousins.
if you or someone you love is struggling, help and resources are available❤️🩹
https://standwithvictims.carrd.co
#tw csa#csa ptsd#csa victim#tw csa mention#csa tw#cw cocsa#cocsa vent#cocsa trauma#cocsa victim#cocsa survivor#cocsa mention#tw cocsa#tw childhood trauma#tw sibling abuse#tw childhood abuse#tw sa#tw ptsd#mental health#surviving abuse#trauma survivors#sibling trauma#trauma#traumatic experience#c ptsd#complex ptsd#ptsd#actually ptsd#ptsd recovery#ptsd tw#ptsd vent
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You dying wouldn't be enough to satisfy my anger if you didn't feel what you made me go through
#complex post traumatic stress disorder#traumatic experience#traumatic#post traumatic stress disorder#traumatic childhood#actually traumatized#the post traumatic manifesto#trauma#abusiveness#emotional abuse#tw abuse#child abuse#angercore#ange rambles#anger issues#anger#cptsd#angry#hatred#hateful#i hate you#hate
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I hate that I need validation for my trauma
Like I didn’t have a mental breakdown so bad yesterday over my flashbacks my mom called the hospital
And yet I still question if I’m being to dramatic was it really that deep? Was it really sa? I don’t even remember enough
#cocsa vent#cocsa survivor#cocsa victim#cw cocsa#actually ptsd#childhood ptsd#actually traumatized#actually mentally ill#tw cocsa#trauma healing#traumatic childhood#traumatic experience#post traumatic stress disorder#living with ptsd#ptsd#ptsd vent#personal vent#csa vent#csa survivor
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Snape coming to Godric‘s hollow that hallow‘s eve:
*steps over James Potters body*
What y‘all apparently wanted him to do:
*Oh gosh, oh no, James! Let me just bury you in the backyard real quick, then i shall check on Lily and find out whether or not she is alive.*
Like, be for real. 🙄
Snaters are so strange sometimes, i swear.
To turn this into an argument against him is so bizarre.
(I am aware this is a movie Snape thing and not detailed in the books.)
#severus snape#pro severus snape#always#harry potter#anti james potter#anti marauders#redemption arc#severus#bullying#traumatic experience#traumatic responses#anti snaters#like what the fuck did you want him to do#be for fucking real#this argument against him is so freakin dumb
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I regret it so much that i didnt killed myself a long time ago.
#life#viral#tumblr#depressiv#health#ptsd#ptbs#trauma#traumatic memories#traumatic childhood#post traumatic stress disorder#traumatic experience#anxiety#suizid#suicide#suicidal#suicidal thoughts#suicideawareness#suicide awareness#suizidal#suizidgefahr#suizidversuch#suizidgefährdet#tod#death#mental health#mentalhealth#mental illness#mental#illness
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#sorry not sorry#it still bothers me#i was so excited#for them to get together... Mad it was like this#bones (2005)#bonestv#bones tv#vincent nigel murray#ryan cartwright#temperance brennan#emily deschanel#seeley booth#david boreanaz#me#traumatic experience#*sigh*#bones 2005
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The official SF discord server can be a traumatic experience.
#im a weirdo#fandom#sal fisher#sally face#sally fisher#sally face fandom#discord server#out of context discord#trauma#traumatic experience#repentance
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