#traumatic responses

[batwingsrosa]

People don‘t seem to understand what trauma can do to you and how it can have an immense effect on your mental age.

Children and teenagers who experience traumatic events will develope differently than others.

Trauma can‘t just be erased.

I am in my mid twenties and sometimes still feel like i‘m barely eighteen.

That‘s because i didn‘t get to develope right- emotionally- during my childhood and my teenage years.

I was highly effected by my experiences-

mainly bullying and neglect.

I think quite a lot of people who had to experience things like these end up emotionally stunted and don‘t age the same as others.

I know people who come from a healthy family and never had problems due to bullying etc.

And they are a lot younger than me and still act a lot older.

Because they didn‘t have to fight dpression and mental disorders while maturing.

We on the other hand had to pick up the pieces of ourselves while trying to grow up besides others who never had to fight to stay alive.

We were so distracted by our problems that we had to stay behind.

I think this is exactly what happened to Severus.

He was not able to mature like others because of how his trauma affected him.

People tend to forget this and just shrug his experiences off.

Which is pretty horrible, insensitive and disrespectful to other victims of abuse as well if you ask me.

[mayhemspreadingguy]

Lost boys

[navree]

i think more people need to realize that the circumstances of how jason todd died would make him deeply untrusting of not only other people, not only himself and his own instincts, but specifically other people's proclamations of what they feel about/for him and how he reacts to that in turn

[scealaiscoite]

.☽༊˚ prompts for helping bathe an injured loved one

¹⁾ sitting on the edge of the bathtub and letting them lay their head against your thigh as the fatigue starts taking hold

²⁾ “i know, i know it hurts but hold on for just a little longer and we’re done, yeah? think you can do that for me, pet?”

³⁾ helping them lean up so you can wash their back, and pretending not to notice them shaking in your arms

⁴⁾ “you needn’t be so gentle, y’know. if today wasn’t enough to break me, i doubt an ill-applied handful of shampoo will.”

⁵⁾ using your soapstuffs because the familiar scent will, hopefully, help calm them

⁶⁾ “i can’t believe it took a night like that for you to let me help you with something.”

⁷⁾ having never seen them in a state of undress before and so, trying admirably hard to avoid looking directly at them in such a vulnerable state

⁸⁾ “so mr/mrs surly and serious likes having their hair washed for them, hm? don’t worry, i’ll keep your secret.”

⁹⁾ climbing into the bath/shower with them, more for the physical comfort than practicality

¹⁰⁾ “i wish the first time you saw me like this could’ve been under better circumstances.”

¹¹⁾ stripping down to the same level of undress as them in an effort to try and make them feel more comfortable

¹²⁾ “can we- can we just stay here, like this, for a minute? please?”

¹³⁾ using as gentle a touch as possible to clean them off and feeling your heart break each time they still suppress a pained whimper

¹⁴⁾ “it’s just me now. you don’t have to be brave anymore.”

¹⁵⁾ trying to towel them dry but ending up just cradling them to your chest with the towel pressed aimlessly between you

[bunnieswithknives]

Thinking about his brain

[izuizzy]

“First Word” 💙💙

made a comic to express the relief and joy sonic felt when talia finally spoke for the first time once she became more comfortable. [read from left to right]

[hg-aneh]

Sigh

I can't believe I have to say this

If you know of anyone who's y'know "bad" or anything of the sort and happens to follow me... don't??? tell??? me??

Regardless of the circumstances and actions of the person, I say this with the utmost respect and fear: I don't want to get involved

What people who follow me or don't or have me blocked or muted or whatever do in their free and irl time is not my business

I know not to mess with english-speaking communities' personal affairs now. Like, no offense, but y'all are pretty fucking creepy when it comes to stuff like that, and that's why, again, I don't want to get involved

I have enough problems in the real world currently. Please understand that! 🙏

[furiousgoldfish]

I have not been raised well. Nobody raised me. I was pushed down and told to stay down. People think well-raised people act pleasing so they assume my upbringing was done well. I'm acting pleasing out of fear, not because I've been taught it's the polite thing to do. I was never taught about politeness. I was taught 'displease me and you die'.

[batwingsrosa]

Snape coming to Godric‘s hollow that hallow‘s eve:

*steps over James Potters body*

What y‘all apparently wanted him to do:

*Oh gosh, oh no, James! Let me just bury you in the backyard real quick, then i shall check on Lily and find out whether or not she is alive.*

Like, be for real. 🙄

Snaters are so strange sometimes, i swear.

To turn this into an argument against him is so bizarre.

(I am aware this is a movie Snape thing and not detailed in the books.)

[somewhereincairparavel]

Jason's approach to Nico is actually SO tactful and empathetic. He is super emotionally and strategically intellectual + he is canonically an expert at reading body language because of lupa + he also observes people a lot, so I'm not surprised.

He called Nico out and told him to stop hiding in the shadows and pushing people away, but simultaneously reassured him that he was willing to be nicos friend. He gave nico a blunt reality check on what he's doing, but wasn't rude about it.

He never told anyone nicos secret, not even his girlfriend, and was very patient with him even after he lashed out. And after their friendship evolved, he was STILL very tactful and sought consent before he hugged Nico. He never forced or guilt tripped nico into staying at camp, and respected his decision if he wanted to leave but told him he'd always be welcome in both camps.

He also went to Nico's cabin simply to check on how he was doing and reassure him that he'd always be there for him no matter what (kind of like how he went to piper's room on the argo ii to check on how she was doing even though HE was the one who got stabbed by a sword like 5 mins ago lol-)

And that little scene where Jason got excited after nico said he's staying and just overflowed nico with plans on what they could do (like sing in campfires) but immediately apologized for overwhelming nico so much , while assuring him that they didn't have to do all that if nico didn't want to, and that he's just glad nico was staying.

Ugh jason grace the man you are

[avicecaro]

hate to say it, but part of ending the stigma around sexual assault means not assuming every woman blames herself. yes, female socialization encourages it, but that doesn’t make it a given, and the goal of all of these campaigns is to eventually diminish the proportion of women who do blame themselves. it is entirely possible, and increasingly common, for women to experience sexual assault and not feel shame or guilt, which we should be happy about. but instead, there are only so many times you can hear “you know it’s not your fault, right?” before it sounds like “it was your fault”. and there’s only so many times you can hear “don’t blame yourself” before it sounds like “you should blame yourself”. because it feels good to say, doesn’t it? sure, you don’t believe she’s guilty, but you do believe she should feel guilty, so that you can disabuse her of the notion. just something to consider.

[adustoflove]

No one understands guilt better than a girl with emotionally immature parents

[bonefall]

the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.

Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."

As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.

If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.

I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."

And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!

Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.

"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.

In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.

In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.

All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.

They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.

(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)

Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.

You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.

[ontheoutside-lookingin]

“She’s so sweet she’s always going out of her way to help others” quick someone give that girl all the love and safe space she deserves before being “sweet” (pathological people pleasing as a trauma response) destroys her and leaves behind a bitter empty shell of a person

[neuroticboyfriend]

i dont think people realize how painful it is to constantly live in survival mode. like fight/flight/freeze/etc. is reserved for when you're close to fucking dying. people weren't made to live entire lives in that state. can you imagine the damage that does?

[safe-haven-safe-place]

@jenpeters_soulguide_healer