#traumatic responses
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People don‘t seem to understand what trauma can do to you and how it can have an immense effect on your mental age.
Children and teenagers who experience traumatic events will develope differently than others.
Trauma can‘t just be erased.
I am in my mid twenties and sometimes still feel like i‘m barely eighteen.
That‘s because i didn‘t get to develope right- emotionally- during my childhood and my teenage years.
I was highly effected by my experiences-
mainly bullying and neglect.
I think quite a lot of people who had to experience things like these end up emotionally stunted and don‘t age the same as others.
I know people who come from a healthy family and never had problems due to bullying etc.
And they are a lot younger than me and still act a lot older.
Because they didn‘t have to fight dpression and mental disorders while maturing.
We on the other hand had to pick up the pieces of ourselves while trying to grow up besides others who never had to fight to stay alive.
We were so distracted by our problems that we had to stay behind.
I think this is exactly what happened to Severus.
He was not able to mature like others because of how his trauma affected him.
People tend to forget this and just shrug his experiences off.
Which is pretty horrible, insensitive and disrespectful to other victims of abuse as well if you ask me.
#severus snape#pro severus snape#always#harry potter#anti marauders#redemption arc#bullying#severus#growing up#maturing#emotions#emotionally stunted#traumatic responses#traumatic experience#trauma#aging#how trauma can affect aging
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Lost boys
#mayhem art#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker fanart#obi wan kenobi fanart#star wars art#this one was sitting in my drafts for about a month. idk why I was holding onto it -cries- anyway#this is shortly after Qui-Gon's death. Both of their lives just got flipped upside down. Anakin is traumatized by having to leave#his mother behind‚ then his Master's sudden death‚ and he's left with no certainty in his future.#Obi-Wan just witnessed his Master die‚ helplessly‚ then having to take care of this little human in his Master's stead‚ meanwhile feeling#wholly inadequate to be so suddenly knighted let alone immediately becoming a Master and taking responsibility for another being.#Both of them losing the constants in their lives. left uprooted. the only anchoring point being each other.#I imagine Obi-Wan wouldn't reach out to Anakin first‚ but if Anakin expressed compassion with him‚ grief‚ and his need to feel secure‚#Obi-Wan wouldn't turn him away#this was just my excuse to give them a proper soothing hug in their time of mourning
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i think more people need to realize that the circumstances of how jason todd died would make him deeply untrusting of not only other people, not only himself and his own instincts, but specifically other people's proclamations of what they feel about/for him and how he reacts to that in turn
#personal#jason todd#like personally if a major formative moment in my life was trusting someone when they said they cared about me#and taking them at their word on an important topic#only for them to be flat out lying and then say that it's MY fault for trusting them in the first place#which then leads into a series of events that are both physically and mentally incredibly traumatic#i'm not trusting anyone who says anything about how they feel about me ever again#and i'm not trusting my own reactions or my own instincts in response to people either#(also god i forgot what a victim blaming BITCH sheila haywood was i hate dc retconning aditf to try and make it jason's fault)#anyway i'm done batman posting for the day or i'm gonna start pissing myself off
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.☽༊˚ prompts for helping bathe an injured loved one
¹⁾ sitting on the edge of the bathtub and letting them lay their head against your thigh as the fatigue starts taking hold
²⁾ “i know, i know it hurts but hold on for just a little longer and we’re done, yeah? think you can do that for me, pet?”
³⁾ helping them lean up so you can wash their back, and pretending not to notice them shaking in your arms
⁴⁾ “you needn’t be so gentle, y’know. if today wasn’t enough to break me, i doubt an ill-applied handful of shampoo will.”
⁵⁾ using your soapstuffs because the familiar scent will, hopefully, help calm them
⁶⁾ “i can’t believe it took a night like that for you to let me help you with something.”
⁷⁾ having never seen them in a state of undress before and so, trying admirably hard to avoid looking directly at them in such a vulnerable state
⁸⁾ “so mr/mrs surly and serious likes having their hair washed for them, hm? don’t worry, i’ll keep your secret.”
⁹⁾ climbing into the bath/shower with them, more for the physical comfort than practicality
¹⁰⁾ “i wish the first time you saw me like this could’ve been under better circumstances.”
¹¹⁾ stripping down to the same level of undress as them in an effort to try and make them feel more comfortable
¹²⁾ “can we- can we just stay here, like this, for a minute? please?”
¹³⁾ using as gentle a touch as possible to clean them off and feeling your heart break each time they still suppress a pained whimper
¹⁴⁾ “it’s just me now. you don’t have to be brave anymore.”
¹⁵⁾ trying to towel them dry but ending up just cradling them to your chest with the towel pressed aimlessly between you
#i will eat this trope morning noon and night with a spork from satan’s refuse tank i’m so serious#theys when the subtrope is forced vulnerability out of a need for comfort after a shared traumatic event that there’s no right response to:#prompts#hurt/comfort prompts#hurt/comfort writing prompts#hurt comfort prompts#hurt/comfort#whump#whump prompts#whump writing prompts#rp meme#hurt/comfort rp meme#otp prompts#angst prompts#injury tw#tw injury
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Thinking about his brain
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#doodle#He spends like all of his time irrationally terrified of going back to poverty#this was inspired by a panel change I had to make to the next comic im working on teehee teehee#originally I was going to have a funny gag of him describing how awful he felt#but I decided to change it because like. He would never admit that he felt bad#feeling bad is a sign of weakness. a sign of failure. a sign that he needs to try harder#like its not just Devs problems he's ignoring. he treats his own body pretty awfully too#not to write that entire thing off as a trauma response tho hes still objectively awful for not listening to his sons wishes#and he wouldn't have done the same if his own leg got as severely injured.#Having a leg amputated is scary he would have tried to salvage it#then again that is still arguably his fucked up version of love#I have thoughts ok!!!#he is so traumatized
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“First Word” 💙💙
made a comic to express the relief and joy sonic felt when talia finally spoke for the first time once she became more comfortable. [read from left to right]
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#izuart#izzy oc#talia the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#ultimate lifespawn au#sonadow#sonadow fankid#sonic fankid#sth fankid#fankid au#sonic art#sth art#oc#original character#talia sealed her voice off as a response to her memory loss and as a response to a traumatic event back at opus (the lab)#but slowly she started to open up and try to speak more this was the first time she ever said a word#both sonic and shadow were concerned but patient with her and wanted her to speak only when she was ready#sonic and shadow would teach her the names of people and ofc how to identify them as dad (sonic) and papa (shadow)#sonic figured why not see if she’ll say it today#he had done this before only to be met with silence and accepted that she wasn’t ready so you can imagine the shock and relief and joy#he felt here for sure hehe#anyways I love them#lore treat for you guys#IM FREE AFTER DAYS OF WORKING ON THIS BUT THE PARASITES WOULDNT LET ME GO LOL SO I HAD TO FINISH
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Sigh
I can't believe I have to say this
If you know of anyone who's y'know "bad" or anything of the sort and happens to follow me... don't??? tell??? me??
Regardless of the circumstances and actions of the person, I say this with the utmost respect and fear: I don't want to get involved
What people who follow me or don't or have me blocked or muted or whatever do in their free and irl time is not my business
I know not to mess with english-speaking communities' personal affairs now. Like, no offense, but y'all are pretty fucking creepy when it comes to stuff like that, and that's why, again, I don't want to get involved
I have enough problems in the real world currently. Please understand that! 🙏
#im not trying to be mean or anything#im just gonna put it out there#im legit traumatized by the way english speakers and gringo cultured ppl handle these situations#im not even using that word lightly#getting the anon ask that spawned this post into existence made me want to puke and do not very nice things to myself#so please i beg you#dont tell me about it like im supposed to do anything to fix things#I also understand that many people believe larger accounts have a responsibility to get this sort of stuff out there#but im not strong enough for this kinda business#yall scare me way too fucking much atp#ughhh#aneh wont shut up
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I have not been raised well. Nobody raised me. I was pushed down and told to stay down. People think well-raised people act pleasing so they assume my upbringing was done well. I'm acting pleasing out of fear, not because I've been taught it's the polite thing to do. I was never taught about politeness. I was taught 'displease me and you die'.
#child abuse#traumatic childhood#abusive parents#toxic parents#abused child#fawn response triggered all day
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Snape coming to Godric‘s hollow that hallow‘s eve:
*steps over James Potters body*
What y‘all apparently wanted him to do:
*Oh gosh, oh no, James! Let me just bury you in the backyard real quick, then i shall check on Lily and find out whether or not she is alive.*
Like, be for real. 🙄
Snaters are so strange sometimes, i swear.
To turn this into an argument against him is so bizarre.
(I am aware this is a movie Snape thing and not detailed in the books.)
#severus snape#pro severus snape#always#harry potter#anti james potter#anti marauders#redemption arc#severus#bullying#traumatic experience#traumatic responses#anti snaters#like what the fuck did you want him to do#be for fucking real#this argument against him is so freakin dumb
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Jason's approach to Nico is actually SO tactful and empathetic. He is super emotionally and strategically intellectual + he is canonically an expert at reading body language because of lupa + he also observes people a lot, so I'm not surprised.
He called Nico out and told him to stop hiding in the shadows and pushing people away, but simultaneously reassured him that he was willing to be nicos friend. He gave nico a blunt reality check on what he's doing, but wasn't rude about it.
He never told anyone nicos secret, not even his girlfriend, and was very patient with him even after he lashed out. And after their friendship evolved, he was STILL very tactful and sought consent before he hugged Nico. He never forced or guilt tripped nico into staying at camp, and respected his decision if he wanted to leave but told him he'd always be welcome in both camps.
He also went to Nico's cabin simply to check on how he was doing and reassure him that he'd always be there for him no matter what (kind of like how he went to piper's room on the argo ii to check on how she was doing even though HE was the one who got stabbed by a sword like 5 mins ago lol-)
And that little scene where Jason got excited after nico said he's staying and just overflowed nico with plans on what they could do (like sing in campfires) but immediately apologized for overwhelming nico so much , while assuring him that they didn't have to do all that if nico didn't want to, and that he's just glad nico was staying.
Ugh jason grace the man you are
#I study psychology a little at school and it struck me how thoughtful jason's approach was to Nico's trauma responses#He didn't treat nico like glass but respected him like he was an individual with opinions#A smart jason should be appreciated more tbh.#Jason handled a traumatized boy with care and earned his trust#He's very emotional smart.#I need a jason in my life. Is he available on Walmart?#is#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo series#pjo hoo toa#nico di angelo#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#frank zhang#hazel levesque
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hate to say it, but part of ending the stigma around sexual assault means not assuming every woman blames herself. yes, female socialization encourages it, but that doesn’t make it a given, and the goal of all of these campaigns is to eventually diminish the proportion of women who do blame themselves. it is entirely possible, and increasingly common, for women to experience sexual assault and not feel shame or guilt, which we should be happy about. but instead, there are only so many times you can hear “you know it’s not your fault, right?” before it sounds like “it was your fault”. and there’s only so many times you can hear “don’t blame yourself” before it sounds like “you should blame yourself”. because it feels good to say, doesn’t it? sure, you don’t believe she’s guilty, but you do believe she should feel guilty, so that you can disabuse her of the notion. just something to consider.
#i think we are very pleased with the idea of female shame#even among people who genuinely do not believe women are at fault for being assaulted#you are still meant to pay the penance of suffering and self destruction#god fucking knows why#“i got mugged” “aww don’t blame yourself for walking around with those fancy shoes and visible wallet okay? it’s not your fault”#you’d be like girl what. i didn’t fucking say it was my fault but your mind sure jumped there fast 🤨#“my mom died” “wow. do you feel terrible crippling shame for everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life?#up to and including causing your mom’s death? because that would be totally wrong if you did”#like how could that possibly be an appropriate response#genuinely i think the feeling that i was going completely insane post-being raped because no one would believe i didn’t blame myself#was like. solidly half as traumatic as the actual event#like. it is okay not to feel guilty and shameful. it’s great actually. you’re not having the wrong response.
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No one understands guilt better than a girl with emotionally immature parents
#personal#actually bpd#bpd#bpd vent#actually borderline#bpd thoughts#vent#actually traumatized#actually cptsd#emotionally immature parents#like my dad just stole my moms phone AGAIN to text me some BULLSHIT#as he always does. and I was mean because wtf#and now I feel bad cause he's trying to be nice even though 6 seconds ago he called me a spoiled asshole#I told him that if we never speak again he can look at the last chat we had where he basically called me a useless bitch#soooooooo 🤦♀️ unfortunately.....he never learns. I told him he should have never called me a stupid bitch when i was 5 yrs old#because that STUCK with me. so hard. and his response was well maybe you were being one#excuse ME?
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the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.
Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."
As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.
If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.
I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."
And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!
Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.
"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.
In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.
In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.
All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.
They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.
(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)
Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.
You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.
#Recently I've been reading a book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans#And something I really appreciate about it is the way that it explains the way that abusive people *think*#The way that victim and abuser typically have a WILDLY different view of the world#The most important thing about this book though it how much it stresses that *these impulses are still human*#They play these power games to keep a sense of control in their relationship. It feels GOOD to hurt and dominate their partner.#And even when it describes the worst of humanity and the behaviors that escalate into physical violence--#--the book keeps in mind that anyone could change. But not everyone will. And it is NOT your responsibility as a victim to change them.#Reading it is painful but also very validating.#I wish I'd heard of it several years ago when I was first leaving that relationship lmao#but. How do you reconcile it when one of the most traumatic experiences of your life was an act of love in their eyes?#When it *wasn't* part of a game to hurt you but something they legitimately did in the thought they were protecting you.#You don't even get the satisfaction of having it just be nice and simple. That it was bad and we allll agree it was bad.#Frostie girlie you and me are going out to Carvel's and I'm buying us both a milkshake#warrior cats analysis#child abuse
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“She’s so sweet she’s always going out of her way to help others” quick someone give that girl all the love and safe space she deserves before being “sweet” (pathological people pleasing as a trauma response) destroys her and leaves behind a bitter empty shell of a person
#it will! learned that one the hard way! can’t believe I didn’t see that’s what I was doing for so long :)#always just thought “I’m so nice haha wish I wasn’t” turns out I wasn’t hahah just brain chemicals outta wack :)#not that I’m not actually nice but the people pleasing isn’t what makes me so :) (me @ myself)#post traumatic growth#pathological people pleaser#rants & reflections#csa survivor#cptsd healing#childhood emotional neglect#autistic trauma#autism in girls#late diagnosed autistic#cptsd recovery#bpd mood#undiagnosed neurodivergent#abuse survivor#people pleaser#inferiority complex#trauma response#trauma recovery#traumagenic#trauma disorders
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i dont think people realize how painful it is to constantly live in survival mode. like fight/flight/freeze/etc. is reserved for when you're close to fucking dying. people weren't made to live entire lives in that state. can you imagine the damage that does?
#softspoonie#disabled#disability#ptsd#cptsd#survival mode#fight or flight#fight flight or freeze#trauma#trauma survivor#traumatized#post traumatic stress disorder#trauma response#trauma survival
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@jenpeters_soulguide_healer
#mental health#healing#recovery#freeze#trauma response#fight or flight#dissociation#trauma healing#trauma recovery#complex post traumatic stress disorder#childhood trauma#cptsd
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