#THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I “AW-ED” AT THIS:(((
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I went grocery shopping today and realized just how much stronger I've gotten since pre-recovery and now I suddenly don't wanna relapse
#also just had a rather great day that reminded me i can feel happy still#its hard to remember that when it hardly ever happens#idk if i can give up on losing weight though... and it was just one good day. i still need some way to cope :(#idk what to do. i want to be happy. i want this to be the last time i ever had to get better#but i also cant really do anything. i need something more#i guess ill take it one day at a time... though i will probably relapse if i do that#but fuck it I guess it is what it is#well see what happens#I just dont wanna lose all this progress :( and i dont wanna go through recovery again#last time with my ed was so incredibly traumatic. i thought i was gonna die#there would be days id binge eat (relatively 'normal' amounts of food but a whole days worth at once)#and it was because id think 'today could be my last day- i may as well eat what i want now'#but id be in so much pain and have extreme nausea for hours or days not to mention the mental anguish-#god. it was all just really awful. i want things to be better now
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I REACHED 30 TAGS STOP I'M REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN TO FINISH MY YAPPING AND TO BE ABLE TO ADD THIS TO MY FAVS
(BHNA) CAN MACHINES FALL IN LOVE?
𝜗𝜚 SHOTO TODOROKI: 𝓐LSTROEMERIA.
a/n: [fem!reader] thank you so much for all the support on pt 1!!! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ hopefully we like the new layout huhu
shoto is for the girls who brush their hair really rough. shoto who gently works his way down the strands, through every knot and tangle till the brush comes off the ends. he uses a wooden brush, because he knows plastic ones are hard on your head. he doesn’t rush, combing through every damp section as you melt into his touch, especially from the warm shower to his warm hands. only for him to tangle his fingers through your scalp again as your face is snuggled against his chest later that night, or braid your hair the following afternoon, vividly trying to visualise the way his mother taught him while she was in the hospital on his rare days off, and by his sister who would braid baby shoto’s hair as he slept (''-ࡇ-)💤
one time as a kid he had overheard his sister, fuyumi, humming a lullaby before bed. sho' as kid walks in on her brushing her hair for what seems to be a while and asks what she's been doing. when little fuyumi said she has to brush her hair 100 times before bed to become a princess, little shoto has never let go and does it with you almost every night 🥹💗
along the lines of warm showers, he loves when you come out of the bathroom not for the imagery, but for the aromatic fragrance that radiates off your body as you dry your hair (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ. when he politely and cluelessly asks if he can dry it, he is so gentle with rubbing the strands between the small towel. sometimes he gets distracted when he smells the shampoo and conditioner. he’ll say, “you smell nice” with a monotone expression, yet so many thoughts behind his crystal turquoise and steel eyes (that he just expects you to know). he loves fruity and flowery scents because they remind him of his mother (·•᷄∩•᷅ ).
shoto is for the girls that get overwhelmed or overstimulated easily. has never been a fan of pda, but there's something about the way he places his hand on top of your knee when he notices the bouncing becomes a lot faster and rougher, the way he squeezes back a bit tighter when you squeeze his palm as a plead to go home, the way that he looks at you so endearingly unknowingly when you fiddle with the hem of his shirt, or the way he lets you fidget with the silver metal on his ring finger.
when he’s out or visiting another place, he always sends you the most adorable letters. there's a wax seal, a stamp and your name in his neat cursive handwriting just the way you like it. your favourite colours, the cologne you said you like on him once suddenly became half empty because he sprayed on every letter. sometimes you’ll get a dried flower stuck with it, or a small packet of your favourite snack on the front!! sometimes he attempts to decorate the letters with stickers, but then ends up only using two, afraid of wasting it HAHA ♡
gets quietly clingy. or lowkey just in general, is always craving your touch ( ≧ᗜ≦)! will never say it though, he expects you to be able to read his telepathic thoughts that he sends through his softened eyes and dimple pout. he likes being held; he likes the way he feels like putty in your arms. his favourite is when his face is buried in the crook of your neck, listening to your hands soothe under his shirt on his bare back. he likes the way his breath hitches before slowly exhaling when he can smell the flowery scent of your dried-damp hair on your nape. a little spoon i fear your honour
loves the way necklaces look on you!! especially the dainty simple ones. doesn't mind using his dad's black card on you LMAO 😭. you defo have a collection of them all prettily displayed on a little necklace stand each on a hook, and they all have little stories behind them (some of them are just ones he bought on a whim too hehe). one has his initial, he's matching with your initial (obviously), which is one that you both wear on special occasions. one has a butterfly because he said it reminded him of your beauty, you usually wear that on dates. the ones with rhinestones or your birthstone are the ones he purchases when he's away from you and you wear them interchangeably. he loves the silver ones btw!! idk there's just something that happens to his heart whenever he sees the charm dangling off your neck when you reach over to him, or the way the chain bumps along your collarbone ♡
he reminds you of cotton candy skies, especially the ones in blue and pink hehe.. he looks at the text and sky you sent him, and he stares at the screen thinking to himself: can machines fall in love?
#literally almost every single day after I shower#I accidentally end up brushing my hair so quickly and roughly bc somehow I'm always in a rush 😭😭#SO THIS IS LIKE#SO SWEET WTF#SAKU THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED GOING FROM THE WARM SHOWER AND THE FEELING OF HIS WARM HANDS#OHHH MYYYYHHUHUHUHUEHEUHUHY#THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I “AW-ED” AT THIS:(((#and the brushing of hair 100 times aw ☹️🫶🏻🫶🏻#SHOTO IS LITERALLY SO CUTE WHAT#also since I'm always in such a rush with getting ready#I like rarely leave the house with fully dry hair#HUHEUEHHHU HIM ASKING TO DRY READER'S HAIR AAAAAGHHHH#“you smell nice”#THAT'S LITERALLY MY MOSTEST FAVORITEST COMPLIMENT EVERRRR I LOVE BEING TOLD THAT I SMELL NICE#AND YES SHOTO'S 100% FOR THE GIRLIES THAT GET OVERWHELMED EASILY!!!!#girlies being me#I LEGIT HAVE MY LEG BOUNCING UP AND DOWN ALMOST EVERY DAY IN THE CLASSROOM#and like my seatmate's my boy best friend so whenever he noticed it he always holds onto my knee AAAHAHAHAHHAHAJAJAIQOQOPQPQOQIQOJQIWHWJQJJE#I'm UNWELL#SHOTO ILYSM PLEASE#IT'S CRIMINAL THAT YOU'RE NOT REAL#IT'S EVEN MORE CRIMINAL HOW SAKU WRITES YOU SO AMAZINGLY#SAKU'S LITERALLY THE BEST SHOTO WRITER I KNOW!!!!@#you give him so much justice ong#AND THE SENDING OF LETTERS STOPPPSJEKBDJEBE#ONE OF MY BIGGEST LOVE LANGUAGES FR!!!!#HUHUHU SAKU ARE U A MIND READER???? DO I SECRETLY KNOW U IRL????#WHY ARE THESE SO RELATABLE AND AND AND ANDNA FNDN ANDN#AND HIM BEING AFRAID TO WASTE THE STICKERSSSS AW:(((#HE'S SO ME I LOVE HIM
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TW: food insecurity
its crazy being broke and experiencing grocery day because usually these days i have half a meal or a whole meal a day and im good. but today is grocery day so i decided to treat myself and had both breakfast and dinner and i feel like ive eaten an entire buffet
tw for tags: diet culture? kinda. more food insecurity. slight discussion of past (and maybe a little current) ed
#tw: food issues#tw: food#tw: food mention#tw: dieting#but not really? just kinda taking advantage of the situation#tw: eating problems#tw: eating habits#tw: ed behaviors#tw: ed#tw: weight loss#tw: weight mention#like not my actual weight but just mention of weight loss in general#perks of being broke means its easier to lose weight#plus no money spent on snacky crap that i'll just binge and get fat on#and when i do have the ability to binge i just dont have the room for it anymore#so i still get the satisfaction of eating what feels like an insane amount of crappy food#but really its just the same amount as most people have for breakfast#feel like this is probably pretty relatable in todays economy#growing up poor was absolutely awful though because i had no sense of control#so every time as a kid there was food id eat as much as possible because i didnt know when my next meal would be#but now in the same situation as an adult its easier to slow down and spread it out a bit#means i have access to food for longer amounts of time#plus im not taking from what my siblings need as well like i tended to do as a kid#i still hoard food in my room though dont think i'll ever grow out of that#ive at least learned how to keep it fresh and keep mice out of it so i dont attract pests like i did as a kid#fr little mud slept with porkchops under his pillow#bro had no idea how things worked haha
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Wayne takes in a Beat to Shit Steve Harrington after Starcourt as n Owed Favor to Hopper Part 4
Part Three: link
First Chapter (parts 1-3 on tumblr) on A03: Link
The kid was madder than a wet hen.
Just as slippery as one too, when he got like this--music pulsing like a living thing to signal all his rage and upset.
Not like Wayne hadn’t expected it.
He just wished it wasn’t quite so damn loud.
The music had started up almost immediately after Eddie had stormed to his room, startling Steve awake and nearly making Wayne curse for it.
Normally it was a good thing--music meant Eds was willing to listen instead of heading for the hills.
Normally, they didn't have a house guest who looked like he'd gone ten rounds with a bear.
They had a routine for this, was the thing and the music was a key part of it. It worked all the edges off for Wayne, and he'd long figured out that about thirty minutes was a the perfect length of time for Eddie to stew before he could actually talk things through.
Given the hand Harrington put to his forehead, Wayne wasn't eager to give him that thirty minutes.
Not when Steve deserved little peace he could have.
Unfortunately, so did Eds.
Still.
Strutting through the door and demanding to talk right now was a bad move and so, with a sympathetic look given to Steve, Wayne did what he did best
Gave space.
Let Eddie rage, as Wayne got up and shuffled about the kitchen.
Pulled out the soft earplugs he pretended weren’t there for Eds to steal (playing that damn loud guitar all the time could not be good for his ears) and offered them to Steve, before making two cups of what Wayne privately thought was the Munson “chitchat” drink.
One cup of hot water, one packet swiss miss, a small amount of maple syrup drizzled in, topped with little marshmallows they reserved for these types of situations.
Wayne took his time with it, thinking through what he wanted to say.
‘I understand that this is a screen door on a submarine kind of situation...’
Nope.
‘Son I know you hate listening to anyone for anything but this is serious...’
Absolutely not--that would end up with the boy bolting for sure.
‘Ed’s, I love you but could we please turn Ozzy off while we talk? That man wails louder than any damn cat I have ever met.’
That one was purely self indulgent, mostly because the wall was starting to shake.
Wayne put the finishing touches on the cocoa before staring at both of them.
Perhaps if he stared the Garfield mug in its eyes hard enough, the right words would come through.
They did not.
He kept trying, standing there long enough for the cocoa to reasonably have cooled and for Eddie’s song to flip over to something with more screaming in it than singing.
Wayne supposed that this was the hardest part of being a parent. You just didn’t get to have the magical one liner. The right thing to say at just the right time.
The joke that would ease all the tension and let things progress forward nice and easy.
Instead, you got to fumble your way through the dark with a flashlight up your ass and hope you were going in the right-ish direction. Ideally without making things worse.
Wayne was here though, and that had to count for something.
(Knew it counted for something--because Eddie was still here.
They had cleared hurdles far higher than this when it came to trust. They’d get through this too, come what may.
Steve too.)
“Can I just ask,” Eddie started, aggressive as always when Wayne finally gave in and entered his room, feeling all sorts of awful for the migraine Steve had to have, “what the absolute fuck is happening?”
Sure as fire he was sitting on his bed, leg bouncing a mile a minute.
An unlit cigarette hung between two fingers, looking a little chewed on, but otherwise undisturbed--as it should be, because one of Wayne’s few rules was that smoke stayed outside the house.
“You could.” Wayne said loudly but agreeably, as he turned himself around and dropped down next to his kid.
Held out the Garfield mug, and was happy when it was taken from him.
“Figured you might have other things to say, though.”
Likely a lot of things.
It was as good an opening as any, and his kid didn’t disappoint, launching right to it.
“Why is he here and not at a hospital?”
‘Here’ was punctuated by Ed’s hand winging towards the door, and while it wasn’t the righteous fury Wayne expected, it was at least, an easy answer to give.
“Steve has some people looking for him. Bad people. Hospital makes him an easy target.”
Wayne was still talking loud. Could only hear Eddie himself because he was looking at the kid’s lips more than he was actually hearing his voice.
Eddie took that in, swallowing it about as well as he’d swallowed anything he hadn’t liked.
And thank the stars above, he finally reached a hand out and turned the music down. Not a lot--Steve wouldn’t be able to hear them over all this--but enough that Wayne didn’t have to struggle.
“We’re hiding him from the cops now?!” Ed’s spat.
“Cops know he’s here. Hopper’s the one who asked me to take him.” Wayne reminded him, because it was the truth.
Not the full truth, but given how Ed’s pissed off half the local PD on a good day, Wayne absolutely did not want to see his nephew take on Federal Agents.
(Particularly not the kind who were going ‘round killing kids.)
“So--what?” Eddie yanked hard on his hair, a gesture that looked less intentional and more like he was trying to fight his own anger down. “Hopper just called you up and said ‘Hey, we had a whoopsie with the rich kid, the hospital’s not safe anymore. Can we stash him with you for a few days?”
Wayne nodded once, slow-like.
Always remembered how too fast movements had made Eddie flinch and jerk back when was littler, and given the way Steve was looking, figured it was a good time to be cautious again.
“He did.”
“And you just--agreed? Just like that!?”
“I did.”
He pretended not to see Eddie boggle at him at the simple admission, so furious that he seemed to struggle for words when he normally had too many to say.
Wayne took advantage.
“We did talk a bit more than that, I’ll admit.”
Ed’s scoffed. “About the weather I’m sure.”
“‘Bout trust.”
Eddie blinked at that.
“Trust.” He echoed flatly.
“What have I always told you? People like to ask you to trust them, but you they don’t get to have it until--”
“They provide proof or a reason.” Eddie finished with an eyeroll. “So which did Hopper provide then?”
Wayne took a noisy sip of his coca. Smacked his lips a little before saying: “Both.”
Didn’t bother to say anything else, because he knew Eddie would finish the thought for him.
“One of them was me, wasn’t it.”
Eds didn’t say it like a question, but Wayne hummed in agreement anyway.
He wasn’t gonna shame his boy, but he wasn’t gonna sugar coat Eddie’s involvement in this either. Not when he’d already admitted that was half the reason Hopper had gone to Wayne to begin with.
“No one is expecting Steve to be here.” He said, seeing the chance to hammer home the most important part of this entire shitshow. “So long as no one finds out he’s here, he’ll be safe. Everyone will be safe.”
Steve from the Feds who were hunting him for while he was busy being involved in shit he couldn’t control and Eddie because he had a mouth that most people didn’t like.
Not small town people anyway, and absolutely not authority figures with guns.
“Who’s even after him?” Eddie was theatrical as always, hands waving away as he talked. “Did he make a deal with the mob? Piss off some other rich guy? I know it’s not anything drug related, I’d have heard about it by now.”
After years of experience, Wayne knew exactly how far to lean away to stay out of range, too used to his nephew talking with his entire body.
“That’s his story to tell ya, Ed’s. It ain’t mine. Same way it ain’t my place to tell him your story.”
That at least got the boy to think for a minute. Put down that frustration he carried with him all the time, and use the brain they both knew he had.
“How long is he staying here?”
Wayne shrugged. “Don’t know.”
Eddie sighed and mockingly mimicked Wayne, taking an obnoxious slurp of his cocoa. “The neighbors are going to notice if he’s here more than a few days. The trailer park isn’t exactly big.”
“They didn’t notice that time you decided to make fireballs with the cooking spray and about blew up half the driveway. Don’t think they’re gonna notice someone being quiet in the house.”
Eddie snorted, and probably rolled his eyes again, not that Wayne could see it given the kid was looking into his own mug as he thought it all through.
Wayne sat with him as he processed.
Eds worked at his own pace with things, and while life at large might be against that, Wayne was happy to let him do it. Found it easier that way, then trying to poke and prod and force him like so many father figures did.
Wayne’s patience was rewarded not even a full minute later, when Eddie turned to him and asked;
“What if he finds out?”
This in a quieter voice. An unsure one--words and body hunching in a way unlike the Eddie the world outside knew, but very much like the little boy Wayne had brought inside his home.
It took Wayne a moment to connect the dots--he’d been speaking out of the place parents and authority figures often do, and in doing so hadn’t thought much of the fact his nephew had a real secret.
The kind small town minds didn’t like--and would kill him over.
This all wasn’t about Wayne taking in Steve, he realized abruptly. It was that Steve being here meant Eddie couldn’t be himself.
Could not relax in a place he was accepted for who he was, because Wayne knew and made sure Eddie understood he was wanted here, had a place here, regardless of who he loved.
Now, Wayne had gone and removed it.
‘Shit.’
“He won’t.” Wayne said.
Knew that wasn’t enough, and so, promised: “But if he does, I’ll make sure he understands his safety here relies on your own.”
Ed’s chin jerked in a nod, the two of them sitting in silence for a moment before the boy did as he often did when he wanted a hug but felt too awkward to ask for one, and tipped himself into Wayne’s side.
“Thanks old man.” Eddie whispered into his shoulder and not for the first time, Wayne wished things were easier for the poor kid as he put his mug in one hand and hugged his kid with the other.
Hoped that in the future, it would be.
Even if he had to force everyone and everything coming after him--and now Steve--to do it.
(Wondered vaguely, how bad it was that he was already getting as protective as Steve as he was of his own kid.
Probably very, given his kid clearly hated Harrington.)
xXx
Wayne took the first night of Steve’s stay off.
He wasn’t the type to use his PTO lightly. Was used to rationing it for any possible thing Eddie might need him for.
A night up sick when he was younger, to a night spent chasing him down during some of their bad spots--but the last year or so Wayne had slowly realized he hadn’t had to use it much.
He was still careful with it though, precious as it was, and was thankful for it now as it ensured his nephew didn’t murder their house guest.
Or at the very least, didn't sit there pecking at him.
The kid might've failed English a few times, but he had a real gift with words and an even better one with insults.
(Wayne wasn't quite clear on what all the "King" jabs were about, and absolutely did not get why Steve looked far more hurt at the comment about his "sad ass floppy hair" but given the increasingly flat look Steve was throwing Eddie's way, Wayne figured it couldn't be anything good.)
Thankfully a pointed reminder about Steve's injuries had finally gotten them all some peace, enough for Harrington to drop back to sleep--and for Wayne to realize he looked a little too dead while he did it to be comfortable getting any sleep himself.
The kids chest barely moved, and that it ate at Wayne’s until he got up and shoved a hand under his nose.
Felt his breath, and told himself the poor sod was fine.
Hurt, absolutely, but alive.
Over and over again, until the sun had made its rotation in the sky, bringing the morning with it.
‘Better than nightmares, I suppose.’ Wayne figured, as exhaustion scraped at his eyelids.
Those Wayne knew, would come later. When Steve’s brain caught up to the rest of him, and stopping dumping survival chemicals through his battered body.
He'd given up on sleep entirely sometime around 1 am, and now he sat at his small kitchen table, writing out a medication schedule for Harrington so he and the kid both knew when he could have his next Tylenol.
Wasn’t even halfway through it before Eddie made his typically late appearance and blew through his door.
Had his back up from the moment he’d stepped a foot in the kitchen and it didn’t take a genius to see he’d worked himself into a snit again.
Unfortunately for him, whatever scenario that imaginative brain of his had cooked up fell flat to the reality that was the poor kid on the couch.
Steve Harrington was one a hell of a sight.
Didn’t help that he was doing his level best to make himself as small as possible, curled deep into Wayne's ancient couch.
The blankets covered the ribs and hid away most of the damage, but there wasn’t much Steve could do to hide the shiners on his face--or the marks around his neck.
Not when they’d grown worse overnight, practically inviting questions.
It was almost laughable how quickly Eddie ate whatever words he’d prepared, mouth awkwardly chewing around them as if they were tangible.
The less-than-sneaky looks he threw at the younger teen were equally amusing, and if Wayne wasn’t trying to peace keep, he’d have given in and chuckled when Eds split attention caused him to pour half his coffee into the sink rather than a cup.
Looked utterly lost when, after finishing putting his coffee together and grabbing some junk food thing that absolutely was not a breakfast item, he came to stand awkwardly at Wayne's shoulder, openly staring as Steve blatantly ignored him.
Eds didn’t know what to do, and Wayne couldn't blame him.
Seemed to keep thinking he was going to encounter a boy that likely no longer existed, and whose blood tinged specter just made things sad.
Shit like this, Wayne knew, took a man’s ego and warped it, shaping it to something else entirely.
At least for Steve, it seemed that getting wrapped up in whatever mess he had had shaped him for the better, instead of pretzeling him into something worse. That, Wayne thought, spoke to the boy's character more than anything he’d done prior.
(It helped to know what Hopper tolerated and what he didn’t. That he’d vouched for Steve in the same way Wayne knew he’d vouched for Eddie, even if Eddie didn’t yet realize the cop he antagonized so much would do that for him.)
That didn't erase the history his kid had with Harrington, though.
Wouldn't stop him from seeing the old Steve, first.
‘Don’t you got school?” Wayne asked when he decided Ed had stared enough.
“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie waved him off, trotting out the door. “Bye old man, house parasite!”
It was clearly a jab, meant to nettle, but Steve barely acted like he heard it.
Wayne rolled his eyes.
“Goodbye, Eds.” He said firmly, much of a warning as he ever gave, and fondly watched his nephew scuttle out the door.
Turned to see how Steve was taking things, and was once again given a reminder that Steve wasn’t doing a hell of a lot other than feeling his injuries.
“I think I promised you a game, son.” Wayne said gently, startling Steve out of the distant, dim look he had trained on the wall.
It wasn’t a lot to offer in terms of a distraction, but it would have to do.
#small town rumors#this is the first part of chapter two#I will post all parts of chapter two once im done fighting through it lol#steddie#or pre steddie#where I exist as a person#best dad wayne munson#wayne pov#did I say this entire chapter was going to be eddies pov bc haha I lied#outsider pov#s3 au#hurt/comfort#enemies to lovers but like softish enemies to lovers as in Eddies not caring a whole lot that Steves hurt....yet#beat to shit steve harrington#0o0 fanfics#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#Eddies out here ready to face down snotty af rich boy king steve#keeps working himself up so much he forgets how badly off Steve is lol#dont worry his munson doctrine goes to shit later#mostly bc Eddie thinks steve stuck his nose where he shouldnt have and finally got what he deserved lmao
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DG x Reader: Manager and their Idol
8.5k. G/N. Soft, colleagues to lover (guess I love this trope). Masterlists
You had imagined life as a K-Pop idol manager to be much more glamorous.
You pity your young naive self. The one that envisaged schmoozing with stars and rubbing elbows with the movers and shakers, and instead set you on this horrid, lacklustre path.
What you didn't expect was the amount of time playing driver. Carting that stupid pink haired brat around. Waiting on him hand and foot during shoots and interviews, and being at his beck and call.
You have saved his ass more times than you can recall, ran through scripts with him, practised his stupid dances and moves alongside, protected him from unhinged fans and reporters and scavengers.
And yet you can count on one hand the amount of times he has thanked you.
Actually no, it didn't require any hands because he has thanked you exactly zero times for all your early mornings and late nights and for going above and beyond your duty.
Out of desperation, you had asked your boss if you could manage someone else and the request was declined.
"DG has taken a liking to you," she said, tone impressed as if that was something you should be proud of.
"Great," your smile comes out as more of a grimace.
And goddamn, this agency was so stupidly prestigious and the benefits and perks here really are second to none. Just why did Diego fucking Kang have to be their top idol.
.
.
The first time you crossed the threshold into his building, greeting the reception security guard and entering his penthouse keycode like you had been let in on the world's greatest secret, you had tiptoed around like a child in a museum. After all, this was DG's residence. The DG!
You had ooh-ed and aah-ed at every little thing.
Taking delight in seeing his interior design of choice, the type of candy that he snacks on, the shampoo and conditioner he uses, the way he organises his desk. This is the chair DG sits on to eat. This is the sofa DG lounges on to watch TV. This is the bed he sleeps in, the bath he uses, the toilet he-
Any wide eyed innocence and awe evaporated after your first week working together.
Today, you stab in the entry code and let the door shut with a bang.
You set his now cold coffee order on the kitchen counter and rifle with practised fingers through his unopened mail to see if there is anything you should draw his immediate attention to. You pick up his discarded clothes from the floor (and for fuck's sake, this suit jacket was on loan) and make your way to his bedroom where tufts of pink hair peeks out from under the cover.
"Good morning," you announce, locating the remote to open the blinds and letting in some sunlight.
Bedsheets rustle behind you.
"Good morning Diego," you repeat and give one warning, "I hope you're decent." With that, you throw the covers back to find the scantily dressed idol glaring up at you.
You remember the days when this sight would have made you weak at the knees. Seeing him half naked, in the flesh, freshly woken up with bedhead and half lidded eyes. It's what most of Korea dreams of, including yourself once upon a time.
Now all you feel is extreme irritation.
"Good morning," you say for the third time, plastering on a saccharine smile that you know DG sees clearly through because it is insincere as hell to anyone with half a brain cell. You let the fakeness shine through anyway.
For a split second, DG frowns as his eyes drop to your lips and then he pretends everything is good. Smiling back prettily, sharp canines on show and stretching. Lifting his arms overhead, showing a good stretch of pecs and abs and the line of muscle in a V pointing like an arrow straight down to his-
You roll your eyes.
"You're late." You throw the covers back over him and stride back towards the door. "We should have left half an hour ago." You leave out the part where you had been waiting downstairs in the car and after an hour of no show and no anything, you stomped your way up to his home.
DG, sensing your mood, adds oil to the fire with a smirk, "Why didn't you wake me then?"
If that idiot bothered to look at his phone, he would see a number of missed calls and unread messages from you.
Whatever.
"Hurry up."
.
.
DG has come across many people like yourself over the years. All cute and bright eyed, way too soft.
He never gave you any special treatment, for better or worse, and assumed that you would eventually burn out or give up and move on to something more worthwhile.
Unfortunately, in a rare turn of events, he had miscalculated.
Of course most people would be starstruck, it's only natural. But he mistook your sincerity and kind smile for ignorance and missed your sharp, observing gaze, and astute mind.
He's impressed, and he really can't remember the last time he was impressed.
In a matter of days of working together, you had managed to cut through the bullshit and within the month got him more compliant and docile than anyone else ever has.
Which should be a huge fucking problem, and raising red flags all over DG's mind.
...Except-
What's really troubling him right now, as he sulks in the passenger seat and you in the driver's, is that you have developed some sort of resistance to his charms.
Maybe a part of him does actually miss the you who he formed the first impression of. Who looked at him in wonder, with the same admiration that everyone else did.
Now that he knows you, he hates that he had thought that initial admiration was insignificant and worthless.
.
.
DG has a stash of candy in the car.
Or more accurately, you keep a stash of candy next to him to a) Shut him up and b) Keep him tolerable.
If DG wasn't so aloof, the fact that he has an incurable sweet tooth (and probably cavities to prove it) would have made headlines as a cute K-Pop fact and likely garnered sponsorship and advertising deals with all sorts of confectionary brands.
You had only found out during your adventures as his manager, rifling through his kitchen drawers trying to find his goddamn phone that he misplaced and you stumbled upon his stash of candy.
It really was a disgusting amount, something you'd expect a gaggle of grade schoolers at Halloween to hoard, not Diego goddamn Kang.
And then you also found out if he's not quiet and haughty in the car, making the atmosphere awkward, he likes to comment on your driving.
Who even sits in the passenger seat next to their 'chauffeur' anyway? He complains about you braking too suddenly and not accelerating fast enough. How you drive like an 80 year old with cataracts, and you're too slow when the light changes to green.
The turn in your relationship happened when you snapped at him to shut the fuck up after losing the final shred of your sanity on a three hour drive.
DG, to your dismay, didn’t miraculously lose his hearing and turns to you as you silently berate yourself for voicing the quiet thoughts out loud.
Although, you're in the deep end now. You're gonna get fired anyway, so if he says anything else you might as well give him a flick on the forehead or a pinch or maybe a punch to the face-
Instead, he laughs.
It's nothing like the laugh you have heard on TV and in interviews. The rehearsed and manicured 'haha' or cool chuckle that suits his shiny persona. It's kinda goofy and a lot endearing.
What's even more endearing is the way he does actually shut the fuck up for the rest of the journey. You like him a lot more after that.
So. You digress.
The candy is a way to keep the sweet toothed maniac quiet. Even if it doesn't work, at least it's harder to make out what insults he's slinging with a lollipop rattling around his mouth.
However, he has never ever shared any with you. Any of the candy that you stock, and pay for.
(That you technically claim back on company expenses, but you're trying to be self righteous here.)
Ever.
In all the months of working with him, he gobbles away happily even if your stomach is growling and you refuse to take any yourself out of principle.
Until-
"Here."
"Huh?"
Taking advantage of your response and open mouth, DG leans into your personal space and feeds you some chewy strawberry something or another (which coincidentally are his least favourite), fingers lingering on your lips for a fraction of a second.
Three things happen in quick succession.
The burst of sugar hits your tongue.
You nearly choke.
You narrowly avoid swerving.
"Careful now," DG grins when you get the car and yourself under control, and glance at him with a scowl.
Good. That proves you're not completely immune to his charms.
.
.
That bastard has now taken it upon himself to feed you candy at every opportunity.
You wonder if he's doing some sort of Pavlov experiment. The sweetness trying to erase any sourness you feel towards him.
It sort of works, and you consider biting his fingers off one of these days.
You hear the crinkling of wrappers, one for him that he pops into his mouth, and one for you that he gives without asking.
You angle your head towards him, and his fingers graze your lips every time.
Neither of you comment on the change but the intimacy drives you a little crazy.
.
.
And DG too.
Because intimacy works both ways and damnit his little gesture to keep the pretty blush on your face has backfired.
The only form of intimacy he knows comes from discreet hookups and low key links. Not someone who is around day in, day out. Or anyone that goes deeper than one night stands and booty calls.
You're there, you're always there. Of course you are, you're his manager.
But today, he feels under the microscope with you standing a couple metres away and keen eyes watching the camera monitor.
It's a no nothing day. Standard schedule where he shoots a fragrance commercial and he exits a pool all wet and sultry, white t-shirt clinging to his muscled body.
Then another scene where he writhes around slightly on a sunbed and eye-fucks the camera.
How it sells a fragrance, he never knows. The mystery of showbiz.
"Cut! More powder!" The director shouts out, the crew springing into action and DG knows exactly why.
He feels strangely embarrassed and flustered, which has manifested into his cheeks being flushed, and god he can't even remember the last time he has been like this.
It’s out of character and he needs to get his head together.
As the make up artist hurriedly dabs on some foundation, you make your way over to him.
"Are you sick?" you ask, concerned and reaching out to feel his forehead with the back of your hand.
"I'm fine," He says, turning away from your attentiveness and staring at a point in the distance.
.
.
With most people, if DG wants them out of sight, they stay out of sight.
But as his manager, and a very competent one at that, it’s harder to get you to leave.
Not that DG wants you to either, don’t get him wrong.
The only constants he has around him are people who want something from him. And yes, he knows you’re only in his company because you work with him. However, he really can’t doubt the concern he always sees in your eyes. The compassion and empathy even when he makes you want to scream and tear your hair out.
His standoffish demeanour is not new to anyone. It’s part of his appeal to be quite honest.
Yet he feels bad over the next couple weeks as he turns it up to eleven and tries to create some distance. He registers the hurt on your face as he is extra short with his answers and behaviour.
.
.
Pandering to overinflated celebrity egos and the insane Korean work ethic often leads to after hour shoots and dinner delayed until past midnight.
Honestly, this wreaks havoc on your sleep schedule and your skin.
"Here." You retrieve DG's takeout from the paper bag.
A double portion of delicious fried chicken with a side of kimchi and pickles. It's a change of pace from what most idols order, yet he doesn't give two shits about calories or sodium intake and to add insult to injury, somehow manages to keep his trim figure.
You lament your soggy salad sitting at the bottom. As if it’s not sad enough right now - once you arrive home, the lettuce will be wilting and room temperature and you will eat it in your dimly lit apartment with nothing to keep you company except the sound of the TV.
DG notices you turning to leave his penthouse, and his mouth moves before his brain can.
"Aren't you staying?"
"What?" You double take at the question.
DG's company is usually worse than your lonely meal for one.
He’s annoying and you frequently want to slap him, but how he has been with you lately has been troubling and you actually feel a sense of relief at his offer.
(You had wondered if you might have been getting sacked up until this moment.)
Nevertheless, in all your time working alongside, you have never had a proper meal one on one together. Nothing more than you driving with one hand and the other hastily shoving a burger into your mouth as he looks on in disgust.
You would have dwelled on this more, wondering what's changed, what’s happened, but then-
"I'll share." DG nudges the box towards you, and the delicious scent of deep fried, battered goodness wafts along with it it
All your misgivings and your salad is forgotten.
.
.
Almost.
No, you were wrong.
Eating with DG, without any distractions such as traffic to navigate or other boisterous colleagues around, is unnerving. Disarming.
His haughtiness remains, but how haughty can someone be when munching on a drumstick.
All frostiness from the past weeks melts away as you both eat your way through his chicken.
He’s talking more tonight than you have heard in a while.
You find him funny, and really quite bitchy. Which you did know all along except it's much funnier now his slanderous comments aren't directed at you.
And has he always looked at you with such a piercing gaze? So intensely focused on what you have to say. Even if you're just complaining about your boss, blurring your lines of professionalism, he gives you his full attention.
You really can't remember the last time you have been in each other's company like this.
You loathe to admit that even with what an asshole he is, DG's shine hasn’t dulled enough for you that you don't understand the appeal.
.
.
Leaning forward, DG whispers into your ear.
To anyone else, it looks like an over-affectionate idol with their manager. If they could hear his words, "I'm going to kill you," they would think otherwise.
Ok, so this one is your fault.
The good times have to come to an end and maybe you should have been more careful with his pride and joy - some ridiculously overpriced and over-specced vehicle.
Taking advantage of the clear blue Seoul skies, the pink haired menace was the one who drove you today in his fancy imported sports car, but the speed limits and the rest of the traffic was not on his side.
Already running late, even for him, he parked somewhere convenient and illegal then passed you the keys, leaving you stranded on the sidewalk, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, as he strode off to meet his music producer and choreographer and left you to park his baby elsewhere.
Why he entrusted you with it, you're not sure.
You would have done it anyway though, because when else are you going to have an opportunity to drive a supercar, if your boss didn't call at that moment. Questioning your expenses and DG's schedule and confusing you about the fitting at a fashion house and hair styling appointment that you knew like the back of your hand but when someone is so confidently incorrect, you start to doubt yourself.
By the time you got off the phone after pacing up and down the street and checking and double checking DG's timetable, you finally make your way back to the car-
And see it in the middle of being compounded.
You had begged and pleaded with the two men who were having none of it and you left, tail between your legs, to beg and plead with the other man who you knew would also have none of it.
Damn, you hate it when you prove yourself right in these instances.
You know DG won't really kill you, but he will likely make your life hell for the next couple weeks.
.
.
A normal person being pissed off at you would probably result in the silent treatment until tempers cool down.
DG does the opposite. Sort of.
He takes pleasure in making things as awkward for you as possible, until you're squirming in your seat trying to stay professional, thinking about your job and your rent and your bills; or torn between wanting the ground to swallow you up.
Around other people, your boss, your colleagues, his colleagues, he sidles up to you all smiles and soft looks. Slips purposely into banmal, and then oopsy, pretends that he didn't mean to be so informal with you around others.
Gossip soon stirs about your and DG's close relationship, if there's something else going on. Only you can see the mischief in his eyes and the malice in his smile and you think about yanking him by the ear and demanding to know what he is playing at.
Alone, he denies any sort of miscreant behaviour. Barely listening to you complaining and snapping at him. Ending with him outright ignoring you and you fume even harder.
This time, you're not sure the punishment even fits the crime.
Any guilt soon dissipates when his car is returned in perfect condition within a couple days but his performance lasts for weeks.
.
.
Teasing you has always been fun for DG - when your cheeks dust angrily with pink and your eyes burn with fire.
The equivalent of a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails in the school yard.
.
.
Meetings with HNH Group usually do not involve you. If it does, at most you are waiting in the car.
Luckily, there are also an assortment of cafes and restaurants within a stone's throw and it gives you some time to debrief and catch a breather from following DG's hectic schedule.
The downside is you're never sure if a two hour meeting will be condensed to fifteen minutes or if a quick catch up with Charles Choi and other Executives turns into an all nighter.
There's been days where you have ordered a meal, then had to abandon it with a sigh and a longing look as you spot DG striding out of the building looking pissed off that you're not already there, or stayed in the vehicle with the engine running and your stomach rumbling as short appointments overshoot.
Maybe this is another consequence from DG being petty and irate with you for getting his car towed - you're left snoozing at the steering wheel of your runaround, the idol standard-issue luxury minivan, waiting for his return.
It's far too late in the evening for anywhere to be open, only the fluorescent lights of convenience stores and glare of the HNH logo illuminates the streets.
DG opens the sliding door, climbs into the back and slams it hard enough to jerk you awake and rattle the entire van.
He’s sitting by himself in the back, which is odd enough in itself.
As you blink away the dregs of sleep, in the rearview mirror, you notice the stiffness in his shoulders and the tightness in his jaw. His eyes stare vacantly out the window. DG is clearly upset about something, enough to crack through his aloof veneer.
"Are you ok?" You don't get a response, not even a passing glance.
Obviously something has gone wrong with the HNH Group meeting and the stress has manifested.
You wrack your brains thinking of something that might cheer up this asshole and you think of the only thing that improves your mood when you're on the verge of a breakdown.
(Usually due to the aforementioned asshole in your current presence).
"Tteokbokki and beer?" You offer. It’s past your bedtime but a sulky DG for the rest of the week will also ruin your week too.
DG briefly looks at you before going back to staring at the window. It’s not a no.
You don’t get home until past 4am that night.
At your favourite late night hole-in-the-wall, you eat far more tteokbokki than DG. On second thoughts, you don’t remember him eating any at all. You’re talking and downing beers to fill the silence, trying to perk up this silly celebrity. Loose lipped and spilling far more details than you would if you were sober, with him seated opposite and sipping on a soda.
As the night ticks along, he thaws and a small smile settles on his face watching you gesticulate and ramble about your life.
You don’t get home until past 4am that night-
With DG driving, piggybacking you up to your apartment, and tucking you into bed.
.
.
DG can’t stop thinking of the weight of you on his back, arms slung over his shoulders, legs at his waist and his hands gripping your thighs.
You slurring drunkenly into his ear as he climbs the stairs in your building. It’s mostly nonsense. He can’t make out your words but remembers your breath tickling his skin.
And when he wraps your duvet around you, the brief moment of lucidity in your eyes as you look at him, softer than you ever have, you tell him, “Thanks Diego.”
Diego.
.
.
Nothing changes between the two of you after this. Not really.
You still find him an enormous thorn in your side. Incredibly stuck up and haughty and you continue to want to throttle him on a weekly basis but you are immensely grateful for him not leaving you a passed out heap on the sidewalk.
You’re in the middle of chastising him once again, dragging him out of bed as he is running late and being an absolute dick about it. Taking it easy as if he has all the time in the world.
Well of course he does. He’s not the one that will be getting an earful from your boss or on the receiving end of the production crew’s complaints, as if trying to manhandle and cart this manchild around is easy.
“Diego Kang, I swear to fucking god-”
"James." He says, interrupting you as he picks out and pulls an eye-wateringly expensive jumper over his head.
"What?"
"Call me James when it's just us.” He checks out his outfit in the mirror, seemingly satisfied with it, before moving onto his hair. “James Lee. That's my real name."
DG, or James Lee, keeps his eyes on his reflection. Inspecting his non-existent roots, styling his fringe to make it fall just so and applying a liberal amount of hair product.
Nonchalant and casual even as he offers something desperately personal about himself.
"James," you say, trying out the sound for yourself. A name that seems at odds with his loud K-Pop shell but you imagine a time before the fame and the celebrity and the pink hair and it somehow fits.
"James," you repeat, and receive a small smile in return. Then it drops as you add, “If you don’t get your ass in the car in the next five minutes I will kill you.”
.
.
“James,” you think to yourself before you drift off to sleep that night.
How peculiar.
“James, James, James.”
.
.
Celebrities these days are multi-hyphenates.
DG is an Idol-CEO-Actor, or at least trying to add the last one onto his resume. On looks alone, he would have already gotten his foot through the door. Add on his reputation and popularity, he is drowning in offers.
What you personally dislike more with K-dramas scenes though, is how long things take. How much it revolves around other actors and their managers whereas DG being in the studio or filming a music video is pretty much all him.
This K-drama is supposed to be the next big thing.
With the biggest names attached, including DG who is making a cameo. The cameo that was also scheduled to be filmed five hours ago but you have both just been lurking in his dressing room since.
Along with some measly snacks and refreshments, which the crew has been kind enough to provide.
However, the snacks are all but gone (thanks to you) and the refreshments are dwindling and there is no end in sight.
DG, or James, as you have started to call him in your head, is on his phone. He’s always on his phone. Scrolling through news articles, responding to important emails and messages.
There’s only so much news or celebrity gossip you can take. You have exhausted your own social media feeds and you have spent far too much money on your gacha games and the guilt has set in.
You twiddle your thumbs on the sofa next to him as he takes no notice of your presence and you decide to rest your eyes.
Why not anyway? DG doesn’t need anything right now, work won’t be interrupting you, and there’s nothing for you to do. Just for a minute or five. Until someone from the production team knocks on the door and announces that it’s time for his scene.
DG side-eyes you when he notices your breath start to slow and deepen. Falling asleep on the job, really?
Then you let out a snore before smacking your lips together a couple times and he holds back a snort. He reasons that he should let you have some time to rest. After all, you’re the one that drives him around, his life is in your hands everyday and tiredness kills.
He’s on his phone for a few more minutes, reading through more emails on PTJ Entertainment and out of the corner of his eye he notices you drooping.
Body slowly slumping to slouch over him, until your head makes contact with his shoulder and you’re snoozing happily on your newfound pillow.
It’s equal parts inappropriate and cute.
Ugh, DG is 99% sure you’re drooling on him and the wardrobe department isn’t going to be happy when he returns the outfit.
Either way, that’s not going to be his problem. He adjusts minutely, makes it just a touch more comfortable for you and continues to scroll.
.
.
You wake up to a wetness by your mouth, and to your horror, DG smirking down at you.
.
.
Despite none of this being your fault, you apologise to everyone about having to reschedule DG’s music video shoot due to the previous day’s K-drama delays.
To your relief, the music video goes swimmingly and without a hitch, and the production is wrapped up on time.
You’ll happily bet that his new song will go straight to No.1. If not, then at least the sensual music video will guarantee DG remains top of mind for weeks.
You’re updating your boss and even she seems to be pleased.
"This is just work." DG interrupts as you're mid call.
You look up at him, brows furrowed.
Holding your hand to your phone to mute the speaker, you whisper, "I know."
"Good," and he walks away leaving you as confused as ever.
It's not the first time you have seen him shoot an MV, which thank the heavens is so much more efficient than bloody k-dramas, and also not the first time that there's been scenes that emulate an intimate moment. Lips nearly brushing together. Hands roaming bodies under fake rain.
Even if DG notices that you're watching the scene, eyes glazed over and bored, he still felt the urge to explain to you that there's nothing between you and the leading lady in the video.
Once out of sight of everyone, he facepalms himself for his ridiculousness.
.
.
You’re right, and you absolutely love it when you’re right.
The song goes straight to No.1 and holds that position for weeks, fending off competition from boy bands and girl groups and other solo artists. Apparently it’s going to be the song of the summer.
The music video also breaks records for being the most watched within 24 hours.
DG only reviews it once for post-production checks and finds it just fine.
There’s something he can’t quite put his finger on that seems off with it.
He wonders what it would look like if it was you starring opposite him.
.
.
“Where on earth is he?” You grit your teeth and grip harder onto the umbrella that is threatening to be swept away by the wind.
And another thing with being DG’s manager: it’s fine if he’s late but not if it’s you.
(Although to be fair, this instance of him being late is likely due to this particular music producer he’s meeting with enjoying the sound of his own voice.)
You were running late exactly one time in the past, during the first couple days of managing him, when the skies opened and drenched the earth.
Heavens forbid DG’s perfect, beautiful, flawless hair is ruined by the rain.
It’s not like he looked like a drowned rat. The paparazzi caught him in a wet t-shirt, fabric clinging to his abs and his pink hair slicked back stylishly. Even the goddamn raindrops were running fashionably down his high cheekbones and dripping off his pout.
For the next week, the tabloids and internet forums went wild with how hot he looked.
(Who knows, maybe that was the inspiration for his fragrance commercial.)
Nevertheless, DG was displeased and it made its way back to your boss how displeased he was.
Ever since, you have been the unfortunate soul waiting in all manners of weather for him. Rain storms, blistering sun, freezing snow.
Today, it’s your favourite. Rain. You shiver against the elements trying to take shelter under the building entrance canopy, the wind whipping the downpour every which way and you’re getting soaked regardless of how you angle your umbrella.
“Hurry up, DG.”
You check the time over and over. He would be early to his next appointment if he exited the building now.
…On time.
…On time if the traffic was in your favour.
…Late, but not terribly so.
…Fashionably late.
… Late enough to piss everyone off in the room.
Shit. Just as you begin to fret, wondering if something has happened to him-
Clicks and flashes from cameras alert you to his royal highness finally making an appearance, ready to exit the studio and making his way over to the car.
He materialises by your side, and you mutter a familiar phrase to him.
“You’re late.”
It’s a mantra you’re tired of repeating, but he relishes if the amused grin is any indication.
Without a word, he takes off his trench coat and drapes it around your shoulders. His right hand covers yours over the umbrella handle, left wrapping around your waist as he guides you through the throng of reporters and fans.
“What are you doing?” You hiss under your breath.
You can imagine the optics now from the papers and your boss. It looks… Well. Not terrible but not the best.
“You’re soaked,” is all DG provides, accompanied with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
He opens the driver’s door for you before he climbs into the passenger’s side.
.
.
Thank goodness for your gift of the gab.
He’s being a gentleman, you tell everyone that would listen. Isn’t this what Korea wants? An idol with manners and who looks after everyone? Is empathetic and caring?
Think how well it would resonate with the female demographic, who wants a boyfriend like this! The older boomer demographic, who thinks none of the young ‘uns have any manners anymore!
Your boss isn’t convinced until the advertising offers for umbrella companies roll in.
.
.
Truth be told, DG doesn’t know what possessed him to do that. Especially in front of cameras.
Though, it’s not like he could just let you get even more drenched could he? You’re standing there, looking pitiful and he was just going to let you hold the umbrella over him when he should be the one taking care of you-
Hold on.
DG frowns at himself.
Damn.
.
.
James Lee has never looked after anyone besides himself. You need to look after yourself if you are to survive this dog eat dog world. To make it atop the Pre-Generation, the First Generation and now the Second.
He had unfathomably high expectations of himself (that he managed to achieve) and low expectations for relationships (that hadn’t been proven wrong yet).
People have flitted in and out of the chapters of his life, no-one staying around for long. Definitely no-one staying around long enough to know him, for him to grow comfortable with.
Perhaps it has been the forced closeness that has caused him to let his guard down. Cabin fever, in a sense.
But James Lee, Diego Kang, has himself also been around long enough to know there’s more to you and he wants more of you.
.
.
Finding reasons to spend time together isn’t difficult. Actually, finding reasons to spend time apart would be much harder.
You both get on with your jobs and your duties, even as the closeness grows day by day.
And every time when you’re alone and you call him James, his heart grows fonder.
.
.
Out of all the seats available in his apartment, James lounges next to you, long legs draping over yours.
It's another night in together.
These seem to be happening with increasing frequency. DG at least used to keep up appearances, networking with his fellow celebrities.
Parties where you used to look at him with distaste as starlets surrounded him, award shows that he couldn't care less about as you hung around in the background.
Now he prefers to stay in with you, using work as a thin excuse. Studying lyrics that he has already memorised, going over dances that are long ingrained in him.
"You're not going to her party?" You ask, you were sure this fan-favourite and DG were an item or had history. At the very least, the who's who of the industry always attended her gatherings.
"No," his eyes continue roving over the lines.
Then when you thought the conversation was done, he looks over the top of his paper, eyes sparkling with playfulness, "I prefer being here with you."
Oh. Your breath catches in your throat.
You think you might never breathe normally again.
.
.
No, that’s a lie. Any opportunities for rose-tinted glasses has long passed by. You both know each other too well for that.
You breathe perfectly fine. Actually, this morning you are taking deep breaths to try and centre yourself.
It’s not working.
“You’re always fucking late,” you snap, giving in to your anger.
Sometimes you think it is your fault for not watching over DG 24/7. That instead of going back home, you should just live with him so you can shake him awake when he is supposed to get up instead of when he wants to.
And does it hurt him to look the least bit contrite at making your life a misery?
Why does he have to look so smug with a lollipop stick hanging out his mouth? Seriously, between all the rushing around this morning, when did he find time to look for goddamn candy?
“For fuck’s sake, James.” You’re speed walking towards his front door, looking at the Maps app on your phone and miss his smile at you snarling his name.
You’re already running behind and every route to the recording studio is red due to roadworks or an accident or just plain ol’ congestion. “Shit!”
Your finger jabs at the elevator button multiple times.
“It’s not going to get there any quicker if you do that,” DG speaks lowly into your ear and you get the urge to pinch him.
Instead of prodding some more at the button, you turn around and prod him in the chest.
“You’re going to get me fired one of these days,” You growl. “It’s fine for you, Diego goddamn Kang, the star who is pretty much untouchable. I’m not. I’m replaceable. There’s a million people who would take my job-”
DG snatches your hand, holds it still. “You’re not replaceable.” Then adds with an infuriating grin, “So what if we’re late.”
The minivan is skipped, and his answer to your problem is his other pride and joy. A motorbike that looks far too aggressive and a complete death trap.
“I’m not getting on that,” you say as DG hands you leathers that materialised from god-knows-where and a spare helmet.
“Fine,” he says, shrugging and throwing a leg over. “I don’t think your boss will be happy.”
“Fuck!”
.
.
If this was any other situation, you would be acutely aware of yourself pressed up against DG’s back. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
Except all you can focus on is that you’re going to fucking die. You think you might be screaming.
“Stop screaming!” His disembodied voice calls out. Oh. Turns out you are.
For some reason, DG had thought the helmets with built in speakers and mic would be better for communication. Fun, even. Frankly, you’re just giving him a headache.
(Not to mention the fact that he bought a spare helmet at all. And leathers that he thought would be exactly your size.
He had never rode with anyone before and you certainly had never expressed any interest. Yet he passed by a motorcycle store when he had rare time to spare, and visited on a whim.
If he dwelled on this anymore, DG is sure his headache would turn into a full blown migraine.)
Later that night, when the ringing in his ears finally subside, he will still think about the way you held him.
.
.
When public opinion is on your side, then that’s fantastic. Amazing. You tend to get away with all sorts of things.
When it’s not, the truth can become muddied and there’s mental gymnastics from all sides painting you as the villain.
Fortunately, public opinion generally works in DG’s favour, especially in the case of his stalker who got sentenced for more jail time than if she was harassing a normal person, but not long enough to account for all the distress she has caused.
Such is the criminal justice system.
Her date of release looms large and near. DG, despite his talent and fighting prowess, realises certain traumas can’t be erased.
He grows on edge. Skittish. Snaps at any and everything. It’s noted by journalists. Other managers gives you questioning looks
You don’t miss his change in demeanour. To you, the reason behind it is obvious.
You’ve heard about this case, everyone has. It dominated headlines for almost a month: the crazy sasaeng fan who believed herself to be DG’s girlfriend before moving onto another poor soul and was finally arrested.
As he spirals, nothing you do or say to him manages to get more than a nod or a frown. You try to offer that she had fixated on someone else before she was arrested, hoping that was a small consolation to him. And though he managed a weak smile, the black cloud still hangs over him.
In the end, you pack your bags and arrive at DG’s one evening. Instead of letting yourself in like you usually would, you ring the buzzer, smile into the door camera and tell him “It’s me!”
The door swings open to reveal DG looking perplexed (and worse for wear). Head tilting, curious and inquisitive when he sees your suitcase and carrier bags full of snacks.
“I’m staying for a while.”
“According to who?”
You barge past him anyway with a grin.
.
.
The date of his stalker’s release arrives and passes without drama.
You miss your home comforts but it makes you happy to see DG’s mood genuinely improve as the days go on.
The luxurious oversized mattress, fancy spa shower, and jacuzzi bathtub also helps to make your stay a bit more bearable.
Not to mention each morning DG actually cooks breakfast for you. Turns out he’s not bad at all at playing a househusband, and it’s also maddening how he manages to get up each day before you when he hasn’t got any place to be.
“Thanks James,” you say, when he presents you with a home cooked meal and his smile grows a bit more each day.
.
.
Peace doesn’t last.
Blurry photos of you both leaving and entering DG’s apartment at all hours of the day and night make the front page of certain news sites.
Headlines scream with leading questions.
“Relationship beyond Manager and Idol?”
“How a Manager seduced their Idol.”
“Who is this mystery person that has tamed DG?”
Why anyone deemed it newsworthy is beyond you. You’ve been to his apartment a million times.
Yes, you suppose the closeness of DG and yourself in the photos can look a little suspect.
In this particular one, it looks like you have your hand caressing his chest when in actual fact you were shoving him away for a dismissive comment he made.
And the other photo, of his hand on your wrist, was actually him dragging you away when he spotted a herd of fans in the distance.
More pictures unveil themselves.
A snapshot of you driving and DG feeding you candy.
You and DG, whispering intimately in your ear as his supercar is being towed away in the background.
You red faced and drunk as DG piggybacks you outside your building.
His jacket wrapped around you, hand on your waist and angling the umbrella over you.
Him smiling down at you (ok, you admit that you didn’t realise how soft that looks to other people.)
Finally an exceptionally pixelated image of you both on his bike, that could be anyone really.
Unfortunately, your opinion is in the minority as the articles are inundated with comments and furious, tearful fans shrieking that their idol is betraying them.
Simply unhinged.
.
.
The speculation grows. You’re damned if you do deny anything, damned if you don’t. Your talent agency puts out an official statement.
To your ire, the statement is ‘no comment’ rather than anything more definitive. You glare at James when you find out, suspecting he has something to do with this.
He gives you a shrug, and a familiar look of mischief.
To his credit, he doesn’t leave you completely to fend for yourself. You stay off social media for your sanity, and when the paparazzi hounds you, he's the one with his arm around you, cutting a path through the crowd and shielding you.
It adds fuel to the fire. Does nothing to help your case.
Still, you can’t help feeling safe and secure with his hand guiding you - holding onto your waist, round your shoulder, or simply -
Your hand in his.
.
.
Outside of the conference room, where DG is wrapping up a press release for his newest album and nothing else, a reporter slinks out and approaches you.
You’re used to being on the other side of the conversation. Part of the staff, herding DG through camera flashes and questions being thrown at him though there was always some sort of camaraderie. Both parties just trying to do their job with deadlines and targets to hit.
This time you just feel a weariness as you see this person making a beeline towards you.
“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” They say, holding out their hand for a shake which you take with reluctance.
“Hi.”
A voice recorder is thrusted into your face, and you automatically take a step back. “Hope you don’t mind, but I just have a couple questions for you.”
“Um...”
“There’s been lots of sightings of you and DG together-”
You open your mouth to argue-
“Can you confirm your relationship with him?”
A vacant smile settles onto your face. It’s a practised expression where you follow all the cues to be polite and professional even as internally you wish to be anywhere but here. “I’m his manager.”
“Are you two together? Romantically?”
“I’m his manager.” You repeat through gritted teeth, and you’re surprised to hear your voice calm and collected.
“Is that a no? Or-”
“What even is this question?” You scoff, ignoring the way your cheeks heat, and refusing to partake in this circus a moment longer. “This is over.”
You manage to at least catch them looking apologetic, before you stride off into a corner to take a deep breath.
.
.
DG, much more adept and experienced at fending off questions, had finished the conference early and caught the entire exchange, watching you both with a bemused look.
Walking towards you with quiet, measured footsteps, his hand settles onto your lower back as he murmurs your name.
He bites back a laugh at your small, startled jolt.
DG tilts his head to signal ‘this way’. You give him a look but follow him regardless. Trailing behind, moving far away from other prying eyes.
Up a flight of stairs, through multiple fire doors, turning left then right then another right then maybe a left. It doesn’t matter. You’re hopefully lost and decide to just put your faith in this wretched idol.
He finally seems to find what he’s looking for as he reaches an empty corridor; stopping mid-step and you collide into his back.
“Ack!” You exclaim, hitting the solid wall of muscle.
He lets out a huff of laughter and whirls around to face you, noting how cute your look of surprise is.
How strange though, that this is his current position. But is it really unexpected that the person that has been by his side for months has finally worked their way into his heart and has somehow learned to read him when no-one else could?
If he really thinks about it, yes actually, it is unexpected. No-one else has managed to grow close to him before. As James Lee, as Diego Kang. Birds of a feather or opposites attract or everything in between, no-one has got him like you do.
There’s still so much more to tell and show you but… First things first.
Fidgeting, you shift your weight from one foot to another, growing self-conscious waiting for DG to talk, only to find him staring intently at your face. Impatient, you give in and speak first.
“What is it?”
“...”
“Diego-”
“James.” He cuts in abruptly, “It’s just us right now. Please.”
You blink in shock at the please and correct yourself at his insistence, lowering your voice so it doesn’t echo down the empty hallway. “James, are you ok?”
“Better than ever,” he says, a smirk now pulling at his lips.
You register his change in mood and narrow your eyes, wondering where this is going. “Why are we here?”
“When the reporter asked if we were together, you said you’re my manager.”
“I am your manager.”
“But you are interested in me.”
It’s not a question. DG, no James, says it like a fact and there’s no doubt in your mind or his. You open your mouth to argue, then close it again. Open it once more-
What.
You feel some cogs in your brain misfiring and all you can manage is a feeble, “Huh?”
“You told them you’re my manager, but didn’t say no to being with me.”
“...”
“So. What do you think?”
“Of what?”
“Us.”
“You like me. Tell me that I’m wrong.”
You take a step back. “...”
Another step. “...”
“Tell me you don’t want this.”
And your back hits the wall with an oomph.
DG slaps his hand on the wall beside your head, bends at the waist and leans his weight forward until he’s eye level with you. “Tell me and I promise I’ll stop.”
“...”
You’re cornered and he searches your face for a response.“Y/N?”
“...”
Fuck. Fuck!
How on earth are you supposed to respond when he looks at you like this. When his face is millimetres from yours and his breath is on your skin and his dark eyes pierces into your soul, pupils blown deliciously wide.
With his stupid pink hair and his fringe flopping, framing his face and his high cheekbones.
The stupid canines of his poking out that gives him so much character and is so hot it hurts when he flashes it accompanied with an arched brow and an arrogant smile.
His stupid pout and his stupid lips, that you know is constantly moisturised with a fancy overpriced lip balm to make it look kissable for the cameras.
And Jesus Christ, you hate to admit it but they do. They 100% do because somewhere in the back of your brain you always knew they look kissable but it has been often clouded by just simply how annoying and bratty you found him.
Except right now you don’t find him annoying or bratty at all.
Even as he’s confessing his feelings with complete confidence, no unease, no anxiety or doubts, because he always had a way of worming under your skin and he knows exactly how to push your buttons.
Damn it all.
“Kiss me,” you tell James, and he isn’t surprised at all by your reaction, face lighting up at your confirmation.
He shifts.
Hand coming up to cup your cheek. He rubs his thumb twice over your skin, savouring you any way he can before tilting your face towards his. His lips at first brushes against your forehead. Leaves a trail down your nose, peppers both cheeks and then your chin.
He draws back once, takes in your sweet face and gives you a smile so soft it makes your heart hurt.
Then finally, after wanting this for so long, presses his lips against yours.
Diego Kang, James Lee, tastes like candy and sugar.
#might be very ooc but honestly i feel a little insane. your honour i dont even like him#lookism#lookism x reader#diego kang x reader#james lee x reader#dg x reader#kang dagyum#lookism dg#james lee#diego kang#lookism fic#wannaeatramyeon
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7x10 coda. beware the spoilers
Three months pass, and Eddie still isn’t used to it. It’s too quiet at home, and too awful at work, and he still grabs two bowls every morning even though he’s the only one eating.
He thinks about quitting, again. Leaving behind Captain Asshole and following Christopher to Texas. He knows he can’t. He’d promised. Eddie clenches his fists and forces himself to finish buttoning his uniform.
He sends Christopher a text, the same one he sends every morning, then shuts his phone in his locker.
“Line up in five,” Gerrard bellows from the loft. “If you’re late, you’ll be scrubbing the rig with a toothbrush, no exceptions.”
Eddie stands mechanically and walks over to the bay.
Another day, another goddamn reason to bury himself in blankets and hide until the world ends.
Buck invites him over for dinner most nights, or offers to go home with him. Eddie says no more than he says yes, but Buck… Buck’s always known Eddie better than he knows himself. He doesn’t stop asking.
“C’mon Eddie, it’ll be fun—you, me and Tommy, we can come up with ways to drive Gerrard insane.”
Buck looks at him, soft and imploring, an expression Eddie rarely knows how to refuse. But despite everything that’s happened, Buck’s managed to carve out a small sliver of happiness, and Eddie doesn’t want to drag him down.
“You go ahead,” he says. “I’m picking up half a shift at the 136 tomorrow. Need to get some sleep.”
It’s true and it’s not. He is picking up the shift, but he doubts he’ll sleep.
He goes back to therapy, but he never knows what to say. It was all—everything was in his head, last time. It’s not, now. It’s all real, and it all hurts, and no amount of talking about it makes it hurt any less. He says as much to Frank.
“Then why are you here?” Frank asks.
Eddie looks away. “I don’t know,” he says.
That’s not quite true either.
Kim calls him, and Marisol doesn’t. She leaves voicemail after voicemail, apologizing for that night. Eddie can never bring himself to answer the phone. Eventually, he blocks her number.
He texts his own apology to Marisol, but it never goes through. It’s probably for the best—he doubts the message would’ve made either of them feel better.
Eddie needs—he doesn’t know. Before, he would’ve said time. Now though, he’s got all the time in the world, and he’s desperate to get rid of it.
Buck calls. Eddie can’t answer him, either. He lets it ring out, then listens to the voicemail.
“Hey Eds, it’s me. I uh—just wanted to check in. It’s been a couple days. Call me when you can.”
Eddie tells himself he will, but he has no idea when that’ll be.
Christopher doesn’t text him, but he does text Buck.
Eddie never asks what he says, and Buck usually doesn’t offer to tell him.
“Just—he’s okay, right?”
Buck smiles, a little bit sad, and leans into Eddie’s space. “He’s okay,” he says. “He misses you, even if he’s not ready to tell you that.”
Tears streak down Eddie’s face before he even realizes he’s crying. Buck wipes one away and pulls him against his chest.
“What if he never comes home,” Eddie whispers into the soft material of Buck’s sweater.
“He will,” Buck replies. “He will.”
Good morning, Eddie texts on the one hundred and second day since Christopher left. I love you, and I hope you have a good day.
He drops his phone on the table and tries not to hope for a response. A second later, though, it dings. Eddie’s heart leaps into his throat as he scrambles to open the message.
Morning, Dad.
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good girl ✧
eddie munson x fem!reader.
warnings: smut. MDNI!! 18+!! swearing; slight degradation if you squint. pure filth.
summary: eddie munson loves eating pussy, better yet he loves fucking you after he’s already made you crumble.
a/n: i want to write more to distract myself but im too lazy to grab my computer so this is written on my phone. like and reblog if you enjoy. eddie is hot 🩷 also im changing the intro to my stories bc i feel like some of it was unnecessary lol ^~^
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“god you’re so fucking pathetic.” eddie grabbed your throat, looking directly into your eyes. “you must want my cock so bad, hmm?” he used his finger to feel your clothed pussy. “soaking wet and i’ve barely even touched you.” you groan, the anticipation creeping up. “please ed,” you whimper softly, rutting your hips forward. “i need you so bad.” he tsks, standing straight. he locks his eyes with yours, slowly undoing his belt. his cock was hard, desperate for your touch, but he wanted to make you beg for him.
“why should i fuck you?” he questions, his pants are down now, his hard length protruding through his underwear. you frown, realizing what he was leading up too. “eddie please.” he shakes his head, “cmon baby, tell me.” you close your eyes, taking a shaky breath. “i need you to touch me.” he leans forward, “not good enough.” he stands up again, furthering the distance. “please all night you’ve been teasing me. i just want you to fuck me.” he sighs contentedly, placing a kiss on your lips. your hunger kicked into overdrive and you immediately kiss him back, your tongue fighting with his. you wrap your arms around his neck, holding tightly onto him. he pulls away and you immediately frown. “let me help you with these.” he leans down, removing the lacey material, exposing your pussy.
“promise im all yours?” you enthusiastically shake your head, “im all yours ed’s i promise.” he reaches his two fingers towards your mouth. “open.” you happily oblige, “wider.” he sets his fingers into your mouth, allowing your tongue to wet them. “such a good girl.” he leans on the bed with you now.
you were in a quite vulnerable position, legs wide. eddie licked his lips, his eyes mentally taking note of your exposed body. he places his wet fingers inside of you, slowly stretching you out. “i gotta get you nice and ready for my cock; yeah?” you couldn’t manage to utter a single word, so you just watch him in awe. he reaches forward, now using his tongue to lap against your clit. you throw your head back; a small moan escaping you. this made his heart speed up, he continued at a quick place, licking your pussy and thrusting his fingers into you. your hands grab his hair, keeping his face close to your cunt. “so good ed’s, feels so good.” he continues; seeing you crumble beneath him gave him an ego boost, and you were very aware. but eddie munson was really good at eating pussy, and with all the attention he focused on your clit, he was soon making you approach your first orgasm.
his free hand grabs your thigh tightly, his fingers leaving red marks into your fleshy skin. “don’t stop, please,” you hook your legs around him, forcing him close to your pussy. “i’m gonna cum.” he helps you through your high, your legs shaky slightly. “you taste so good sweetheart.” you shake your head, now embarrassed. “don’t be embarrassed baby, that was really sexy.” you decide to make the next move, eager to feel him inside you.
you sit up; reaching for his underwear. you pull it down to reveal his cock. it’s hard, throbbing; and there’s a decent amount of precum leaking from his red tip. you reach out, stroking him. he groans under your touch. “gonna fuck you so good.” you lay back on the bed, opening your legs for eddie. “then fuck me.” he smirks at your comment, but decides you’ve earned it. he pumps his cock a few times before lining it up at your entrance. “i need you eddie.” he kisses your neck, biting your skin. he slowly inserts himself, ensuring he wasn’t hurting you too bad. he slowly pushes in and out, he always waited for your approval. he wanted to make sure you were having a good experience too.
you let out a small whine, his cock was deep inside of you, that mixed with his hands gripping your hips, was sending you into blissful peace. “god your pussy is perfect.” he hides his face into the crevice of your neck. he reached a hand down, playing with your bundle of nerves. “love when you take my cock.” he’s going menacingly slow now, irritation taking over. “eddie faster.” he chuckles, “no please?” he lifted an eyebrow at you, removing his hand from your clit. “eddie. please, please fuck me.” he nods, his hands gripping your hips. he slams his cock further into you, a relentless fast pace following your demands.
you stare directly at eddie, watching his face contort into pleasure, his mouth open slightly, his curls falling in front of his eyes. you reach forward to move his hair to the side, immediately latching your lips onto his.
he swiftly pulls out, “get on your hands and knees for me?” you smile, “anything.” you switch into the different position, your ass arched perfectly in front of him. he lines himself up with you again; eager to continue fucking you. “fuck you’re gonna be the death of me.” he slaps your ass, squeezing it. “could fuck you like this everyday.” he pushes you down, now face to face with the mattress. he was incredibly turned on, the only thing on his mind was filling you with his cum. “eddie fuck you’re cock is so big.” his dick continued to hit that spot inside of you, his hands grabbing everything they could; your hips, thighs, ass, he couldn’t get enough of you. you reach down to circle your clit, small moan falls from your lips. “we’re alone baby.” you look back at him, “i know.” he smirks, “it doesn’t sound like you know. let me hear your moans.” he continues to drill into you, you stop muffling your moans and started to let go. letting the pleasure engulf you, “i know i make you feel good. no one else can fuck you like this, can they?” he questions, you shake your head, “no ed’s only you-.” you arch your back again; the angle allowing eddie to burry himself further into you. “fuck you make me feel so good eds.”
“want you to cum for me.” your eyes are shut now; the pleasure filling your stomach with butterflies, “be a good girl, cum around my cock.” his words only get you there faster. “gonna cum, please let me cum.” your hand dropped and he quickly used his fingers to replace the friction you had previously lost. “that’s it.” your body shakes as your orgasm washes over you. “gonna cum inside your pussy.” you moan at his words, and how eagerly he was using your sloppy hole. “such a slut. you want me to fill you with my cum? yeah?” you nod, worn out. “yes please.” he needs more, “beg for it.” you tighten around him, “give me your cum eds, i want you to cum.” you continue to babble, “fill me up please.” he moans, his cock twitching. “awh fuck yes.” his pace slows down as his high approached, his seed leaking out of you. “god that was perfect.” your eyes are sleepy; “eddie you’re really good at sex.” he laughs, “baby, when you’re pussy feels that perfect i’m obligated to work harder.” you bite your lip at his confession, “i gotta work to be able to keep your pussy, right?” you grin, “yeah, you’re right.” he smiles brightly, “let’s get you cleaned up.”
he leads you to the bathroom. while you use the toilet he wets a washcloth with warm water. he gently cleans you up. he places a kiss on your forehead, then one on your lips. he grabs you a new pair of underwear. he helps you slide them on. “you’re all i’ll ever need baby.” his words comfort you, and you follow him back to his bed. “i only want you.” he kisses you’re forehead again, “get some rest baby, i know your sleepy.” you look up at him, “very sleepy. goodnight eds.” you cuddle into him, you breathing slow. “i love you.” you softly mutter. he rubs your back, “i love you.”
#eddie munson story#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie x smut#eddie x reader smut#eddie munson x you smut#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson#stranger things smut#stranger things fanfic#eddie munson x female reader#eddie x y/n#eddie x you
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Trinkets of Affection T | 700 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is not in the big things but in the small ones
Steve is Eddies first serious relationship. Even when he fantasized about what his future love life might be, he never thought he could get anything even close to what Steve gives him.
He loves with everything he is, Eddie quickly realized. If there's anything he can think of that might make Eddie smile, he does it. He turns up with flowers, or mixtapes, or rings.
One time he'd turned up with a paper rose that he'd made himself. He explained that he had thought Eddie might like things that were made, that took effort, more than expensive things.
He's right, of course.
But it all builds up, and Eddie wants to give Steve things too.
The first thing Eddie thinks to get him is a ring. He's noticed how much Steve's eyes linger on his own, how often he'll start playing with Eddie's rings when they hold hands, how he has favorites.
He can't simply buy Steve some ring he thinks he might like though. Anyone could do that. Eddie wants it to be special.
So, he digs through the tub he uses to organise all his rings. He separates them into two piles; rings he wears, and one he won't miss.
It's almost too easy to find one that Steve will like.
But, looking it over, he starts to doubt himself. Especially because it's not one of the rings he bought- it's the one he made.
The ring is painfully simple, and poorly made. Eddie is surprised it's lasted as long as it had.
It's little more than a a plain silver band with a cool rock he found on the ground stuck onto it. He can't even remember what he used to get it on there.
He had been so proud though. He had wanted to do something, and he did it.
He only hopes that he's right in thinking that Steve is as sentimental as Eddie thinks he is. That, or he also likes cool rocks.
"A gift?" Steve teases, immediately. "Aw, for me?"
"It's not much, it's..." Eddie awkwardly pulls the ring out, keeping it hidden in his fist. "I made it, like, years ago and... that seems like something you'd think was cool. Or, uh, romantic. Right?"
"Very romantic."
"Ok, uh... here."
Steve stares at the ring, dropped onto his palm, for a horrifyingly long amount of time.
"I know it's not-"
"You made this?" Steve cuts him off. He finally looks up at Eddie, with an unreadable expression.
"Well... yeah. I was only, like, thirteen so it's not very... uh... pretty?"
"What? No, Eds, this is- this is perfect."
He shifts the ring in his hands, before trying to squeeze it onto his pinky finger. It only just fits.
"I can get you something better."
Steve snorts, still looking at the ring as he turns his hand so he can see the different angles. "Good fucking luck," he mumbles.
Steve doesn't take the ring off that day, or that week, or ever. Eddie isn't sure he ever does take it off, outside of taking a shower.
"I don't want it to get, like, water damage!" Steve explained, when Eddie asked.
"It's just... isn't it annoying?" Eddie tried. "Wearing it all the time? It's clunky and-"
"And I like it. You made this, Eds. It's not a small thing to me."
"It's just a rock."
"Sure it is."
"Steve-"
"Eddie," Steve's tone is sharp enough that Eddie's mouth snaps shut. "This is something you made. It's your ring, and I get to wear it. Like... I can't tell everyone how much I love you, but this way I can at least show them."
"... oh."
"You get it now?"
"That- yeah. Yeah, I get it."
Steve glances around the shop before leaning in, stealing a quick kiss, before turning to the shelf in front of them. "Good. So, I was thinking this one might fit better. What do you think?"
"Yeah, it looks great."
But his eyes are still trained in Steve. He grins, barely paying attention to what he goes on to rant about, too lost in how his heart flutters when he glances down at his hand, at the ring he still wears.
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Izzy Discourse Masterpost
Hey all, given the amount of awful splintering and wank happening in ofmd fandom rn regarding Izzy's death, including the flat-out immature and unacceptable harassment of David Jenkins and Co, I wanted to just make this one all-encompassing post to address the various grievances and complaints I've seen (almost entirely on Twitter). If I've missed anything, please feel free to add on. I'm putting most of this under a read-more for length.
Please be aware, I say all of this as an Izzy fan. I've loved his character since season 1, and while I was sad to see him go, I completely understand and support David & Co's reasons for concluding his arc, and I think it was done respectfully in a way fitting to his character. So let's break down some of the takes I've seen. I am not referencing specific posts or people here, I just want to address the general themes that I keep seeing about why some people are upset.
Izzy's death served no narrative purpose.
Look, this is one that I'm sure fans will debate for the rest of the hiatus. It's completely within your right to disagree with this writing choice, but Izzy's death did serve a narrative purpose in the story that David Jenkins is telling - and he has spoken to this end in several interviews already. I can only summarize here, and fans may find other perspectives in time as well. What we need to remember is that Our Flag Means Death is, at the end of the day, Ed and Stede's love story. That has been made abundantly, explicitly clear. The show has been fantastic at fleshing out the other supporting characters, but that's what they are - supporting characters. They often have their own subplots but ultimately the narrative seeks to move Ed and Stede's story forward and they are tools to spur Ed and Stede's growth or mirror their struggles. Izzy has been a wonderfully complex, multifaceted character but we must remember that all characters are vessels through which stories are told, lessons are imparted, and metaphors are established. He's not a real person who 'deserves' any particular fate. David said he's always intended for Izzy to die at the end of his arc.
Firstly, Izzy (now canonically, through his own dying words) represents part of Blackbeard. He enabled and encouraged Ed's darker side, they were mutually toxic forces to each other. Ed is attempting to cope with and move on from this phase of his life, and like Stede in season 1, set out a free man, unshackled by expectations and loose ends of those he's hurt and been hurt by (though we realize this is an ongoing process that takes time). This lovely gifset sums it up nicely, with Izzy being the Mary parallel, and making s2 mirror s1. Blackbeard is both Ed and Izzy; Ed cannot be free of Blackbeard while Izzy is in his life, and when Izzy is gone he will never truly be Blackbeard again. They are each other's rotting leg!! Yet, they love each other - and David has said that for Ed, this has developed into a mentor and father relationship, and where Ed has previously despised his father figures (his actual father, Hornigold) he does not want to lose Izzy. This time, Izzy brings out Ed, not Blackbeard - and that's where we get the callback to 'there he is', bringing their impact on each other full circle, freeing Ed, getting approval of sorts that he never had, to be soft, to be loved (and there are parallels to Zheng and Auntie here as well that others have made) from that force that drove him to stay in line all this time. David has said in multiple interviews now that he was going for the idea of the mentor/father figure dying and the hero living on and trying to do justice to them.
From Izzy's side, Izzy cannot be free while Edward remains either (Mary cannot find peace while Stede remains). The scar never truly healed, the leg will always be a reminder. At this point the argument becomes 'yes, but why did he have to die? Why not just sail off with the crew of the Revenge?' David has stated that he feels they've done everything they can with, and for, Izzy; he's come leagues from season 1, he's found community, he's found hope, he's found new parts of himself, and he's made good memories. He's found worth outside of what he can be to others. That's more than most pirates could hope for. Where would his character go from there, when the Golden Age of Piracy he belongs to has burned to the ground? Would he stay around and whittle on the Revenge? If he were a real person, yes, that would be lovely, and he'd deserve all the quiet peaceful happiness in the world. But as I explain several points below, he's not interested in being a captain. He's not up for the hard physical labor of regular crew, and he's extremely overqualified for that besides. He has served his narrative purpose, and symbolically, to enter a new age, everything must go. He's connected to the old age of piracy, to the Republic of Pirates, that is now demolished. To him, fighting for what he believes in, for the family he's found, bringing down an army of British twats in the process, is how he should go. It's a pirate's death, and as Izzy's said, he's a pirate - unlike Blackbeard who's succeeding in breaking away from piracy, Izzy never wanted to stop being a pirate, throughout his arc. To me, that's why Izzy remains trapped in the narrative, trapped in history, whereas Ed and Stede will escape history. They leave piracy, and canon, behind, while Izzy was content to remain a pirate and face a pirate's fate.
Burying him on land, right next to Ed and Stede's beach house, shows that his sacrifice was not in vain - they start this new life together, thanks to Izzy's mentorship, his role in their lives that sometimes for worse, sometimes for better, made their love what it was and made their breakaway possible. The new age is built on the foundations of the old age, and is stronger for it.
As we're well aware by now, David tweeted that there's no version of ofmd without Izzy. Whether that's literal or not, symbolically it's true. Izzy's arc of growth affected everyone on the Revenge. Jim fondly remembered fighting for a time when life meant something on that ship; the crew helped give Izzy new meaning in life, and he helped them in return. When he dies, they mourn and have a funeral; that wouldn't have happened under Blackbeard's watch in episode 2. His life meant something to them. He influenced Ed and Stede immensely, and they will take that with them. As David's said, they're all a family, and Izzy was a part of that family, and his loss unites them and brings them closer to continue to fight for that family they've built. It's a tragic, sudden death of someone they've all grown to care for, and that steels their reserve to keep the torch lit. They literally sail off into the sunset to hunt down Ricky to avenge Izzy; he will always be a part of this show. And, of course, with the brief appearance of seagull Buttons, the door is left open for anything.
If this was The Izzy Show, then sure, we'd be content to see him simply engaged in shenanigans every episode. But the plot, and therefore the characters, need to keep moving forward, and Izzy got his growth and development. He got what he needed for his character to have closure, and he served his symbolic narrative purpose in Ed's (and Stede's) story. You may have your own ideas and perspectives, and that's great - that's what fandom is for. But we cannot say his death was pointless when David Jenkins and the writers clearly had a well-defined motive for pushing the narrative in this direction. I actually think the narrative around Ed and Izzy is the most well-developed in the entire show. I for one am so happy we got such an interesting and complex character, and had the brilliant Con O'Neill to portray him.
Izzy's growth & healing arc was rendered pointless by his death.
As this post so eloquently puts it, it's pretty bleak to have the outlook that taking steps to heal and find meaning in life is worthless if it's later lost. Seeking happiness and self-actualization is worthwhile for its own sake; no one knows what's down the road, and we all die eventually. Find meaning in life now. Would you rather have had Izzy not miss with his bullet in ep2? He was given the chance to experience joy, freedom, and hope for the first time in potentially a long time, and when he died he did so with those happy memories. As mentioned, Izzy's death was decided long beforehand given the narrative, and the point of storytelling is to make you feel emotions. We were given impetus to connect and relate to Izzy's character through his process of healing, so when he did die, we felt it keenly. That's how stories work actually! We felt what Ed felt. It moved us. It's not a bad thing that Izzy's arc made him more likeable to fans before his death. It's not a bad thing to lose a beloved character - guess what, it happens constantly in stories - and it's not bad to grieve over it either, but to say that it made his journey pointless is just not true. People saying that Con must be upset that they snatched his character away from him after getting to develop him so much - again I say, would you rather him have died in ep 2 before he had the chance to grow? Or how about in s1, when the crew tried to mutiny? How'd you feel when Stede killed him in his dream, in the very first scene of the season? I think Con's probably glad for the opportunity to have explored this character so much in season 2. Ask him if he thinks it was pointless.
Killing off Izzy was bad for queer rep/burying your gays/"Izzy was the queer heart of the show"
I'm putting 'bury your gays' on the top shelf so people can't use it when it doesn't actually apply. Most of the main cast of characters in this show are queer, and it's a show about pirates with a good amount of violence. Ergo, chances are a queer character will die in the course of Things Happening In Stories. Izzy didn't die because he was queer, and he wasn't the token queer rep. Please turn your attention to the boatloads (literally) of queer characters that are happy and thriving (how about the LuPete wedding immediately afterwards??). As for Izzy being the "queer heart of the show," this is literally the Ed and Stede show. You know, the two queer leads whose queer love the show revolves around, per David Jenkins himself. I'm glad folks connected with and derived joy from Izzy's growth and especially his performance in Calypso's birthday, but he is not the main character of the show. The queer heart of the show is in fact, the entire show, all of their characters and the community & found family they create aboard the Revenge. Not to mention the fan community as well. Izzy was never carrying the show's representation on his back, and frankly that's an absurdly wild take to have (esp when he spent most of s1 actively working against the main queer relationships in the show, attempting to maintain the oppressive status quo of pirate society).
It was bad and irresponsible to have a suicidal character die
Are we forgetting the entire first half of the season where Ed, who was suicidal, kept trying to passively kill himself because he felt he was an unlovable monster, only to be shown that he is in fact loved unconditionally and it gives him the strength to fight for life and triumph against his own self-doubt? The show has spent quite a lot of effort telling viewers that despite feeling damaged or broken you are worthy of love and that you are loved even if it may be hard to see it when you're in a bad place. That you don't need to be fully healed to deserve love and care, and that love and support will help you along your journey. It's incredibly wild to disregard this major plot point and fundamental message of s2 to try and spin this the opposite way for Izzy's character.
Secondly, where are people getting 'Izzy is suicidal' from? Are we going back all the way to episode 2, when he's at his lowest point and fails at his suicide attempt, only to be figuratively reborn after removing the metaphorical rotten leg? By the time of the finale he's shown to be in a good place, thanks to the arc of healing and growth he's gotten, through the support of the Revenge crew and his 'breakup' with Blackbeard allowing him to find his own way in life, realizing he doesn't need a purpose to have value and enjoying his time on the Revenge and the bonds he's made with Stede and the crew. He is, in the words of Ivan, "the most open and available I've ever seen him" by the finale. To take episode 2 as evidence he's suicidal is to erase his whole season of growth, which is an ironic thing to do in the context of these arguments. There's no canon evidence Izzy Hands was suicidal post-'Fun and Games'.
As for 'irresponsible,' once again I say, David Jenkins is not your therapist, he's not 'Dad,' and has no responsibility to tell his story any other way than he intended to tell it. Please find media that gives you what you want or need, and if the death of a fictional character causes you this much distress please seek help. I mean this kindly but seriously.
Killing off Izzy was ableist/bad for disability rep.
I point once again to the rest of the characters, several of which are disabled in varied ways. There are literally multiple other amputee characters specifically. It's not good storytelling to wholly avoid killing off any character that is disabled/queer/poc/female or [insert marginalized group here], especially when a) it makes sense narratively, and b) there's plenty of representation of these groups in the media in question. The answer isn't making such characters invincible and immortal, it's increasing the number of these characters in shows so it's not devastating when some do die in the course of natural storytelling.
OFMD was my comfort show/safe space show, now it's ruined for me
I am not trying to be insensitive here when I say that's a problem that is yours and nobody else's. David Jenkins created this show with a three-season vision and a story in mind, and he is telling that story to the best of his ability the way he wants to. It's already been said that he and the crew did not anticipate the fandom becoming as large and passionate as it has. The plot of the show was never intended to be 'fan service,' and it's ironic that there were people complaining this season that there's been too many fanservice tropes, up until David and the rest of the writers room made a narrative decision they did not like, then the complaints changed to not coddling the fans enough.
We as viewers can derive joy from this show, it can be a comfort to us, it can be important to us. But it was not designed specifically for that purpose, therefore it cannot fail in that respect. We do not have the right to harass writers for not steering the ship in the direction we want - it's their work of art, and we can choose to either come along for the ride or not. It's rare to see creators actually given the chance to tell their story the way they intend (budget cuts aside), so let him do that. He should not cater to fans, or cave and change the story to appease us. Respect his right to create his art, and remember you have the right to create your own. That's what fanfiction is for - write fix-its to your heart's content, but keep these realms separate. David Jenkins and Co hold zero, and I mean zero, responsibility to you. He could not please everyone no matter what he did, it would be fruitless to try, and it would certainly compromise the quality of the story he set out to tell.
You are absolutely allowed to dislike choices made in any show. Curate your media experience. If this show no longer brings you joy, stop watching. But it was never David's purpose nor responsibility to juggle the mental health of millions of fans. Trying to put that on him will only make him less enthusiastic about interacting with fans or continuing to make this show. This isn't rocket science. You're responsible for yourself, not this guy you call 'Dad' that you've developed a parasocial-therapist relationship with.
Izzy should have become captain of the Revenge.
Really?? Firstly, we did actually get that already in s1. He was tyrannical and the crew mutinied. But even if you think 'well after his character arc he'd be better suited to it,' it goes against the point of this arc. He's found value in not having a distinct role or purpose on the ship, decoupling his worth from the job he's expected to perform. He's found his place amongst the crew, not commanding it. There's no narrative reason to put him in charge when he's expressed no further interest in slotting himself back into a role full of pressure and expectations.
Con O'Neill was only told halfway through filming, it's cruel to just kill off the character he loves so much.
Guys, he's an actor. More than that, an actor with a theater background. I think he's used to characters dying. You don't need to look out for him. Con and David spoke one on one about it at length so they were on the same page, and David even said that Con took it well. I'm sure Con had input, just as other members of the cast have influenced their characters' stories, costumes, backstories, etc. Do you really think David Jenkins hurt Con's feelings or something? The writers (remember, it's not just David, it's a whole team of hard-working people coming up with these ideas) gave Con such a chance to shine this season, really developing Izzy beyond what he was given in s1 and letting Con show off his full acting range. Why are you only focusing on the destination rather than the journey? Sure, Con's probably sad to see Izzy go, but please do not project your distress onto him or try and accuse David & Co of being 'cruel' to their cast. That's really ridiculous. It's constantly evident how close they all are.
More importantly, do you actually, seriously think that Con O'Neill would want fans to harass each other or the writers over his character? The man who preaches being kind above all? There is no better way to make an actor uncomfortable about a show and its fanbase than to start treating fictional characters like they're more important than real people. He would not want you to bully people over Izzy Hands, and it's mind-boggling that some of you have convinced yourself otherwise.
Lastly, I just want to talk about the fact that some people are holding OFMD to absurdly high expectations.
Our Flag Means Death has been a pioneer series for its diverse representation, earnest storytelling, and themes of hope, community, and love. It's fine to discuss aspects of the show with a critical eye, but so much of the discourse has truly felt like folks are trying to find fault in a show that is leagues ahead of the average tv series that we still enjoy. How many fan favorites are killed off all the time? How many plotlines are scrapped, or drawn out without closure, or contradicted the very next season? How many shows are indifferent or actively hostile towards their fanbase? How many have any queer characters, or actually do bury them? The bar's so low, and OFMD has risen above to give us so much. Some are holding the show to astronomical expectations, waiting for it to fall from the pedestal it's been placed on. If something you don't like happens in the show, it's not suddenly ruined or demoted to being ~just as bad as those other shows~. Give them some breathing room, have some perspective on how progressive the show is, and that perfection is impossible, especially meeting every single viewer's idea of it. This is basically a repeat of the recent Good Omens drama, with an absurd number of people harassing Neil Gaiman for breaking up Aziraphale and Crowley and leaving the second of three acts on a very predictable cliffhanger. Let stories be told, let them unfold as they may, and you are free to leave anytime. It's so wonderful that more queer love stories are becoming popular and even mainstream, but let's not shoot ourselves in the foot by tearing them down when they don't go exactly the way you want it, which often seems to mean no drama, no character deaths, and therefore no conflict or even plot!
Just, please be civil human beings, and while this seems to be a difficult thing for so many fandoms to do, just keep your fan opinions in the fan space. Never bring your grievances to the writers, never bully them and persecute them for telling a story that you opted into viewing. That's something that goes entirely against everything this show, and this cast and crew, have imparted onto us - the importance of kindness, support, community, and love. I'll say it again because it bears repeating: the fate of a fictional character is never more important than how you treat real people. Just be kind in real life, which includes the internet. Thanks.
Now please, let's work together to ensure we get a season 3. There's so much more story to be told, and if you want to see Izzy back, whether that's as flashbacks, as a ghost haunting the inn, or in the gravy basket, we'll need more episodes! #RenewAsACrew
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#and after this i will speak of it no more ok#now once we're all calmed down i am really looking forward to meta about izzy's role in the narrative#i truly think izzy's one of the most well written characters on not just this show but on tv lately in general#suicide mention tw#I tried to put a read more under the first bullet point but tumblr's formatting basically deleted it#by automatically overriding it with an Expand#so sorry about the length and such
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because work has been kicking my ass and i'm a wh*re for virgin Eddie, here is this small little blurb as a treat :)
virgin!eddie x reader (reader and Eddie are both in their 20s)
rated r: smut, oral receiving, swearing, mentions of sex. (18+ minors GO AWAY)
You and Eddie sit on the small couch in his trailer living room, the blue glow from the tv highlighting him in the most beautiful way. The eerie music of Halloween plays through the tinny speakers, the soundtrack of your night. Although the metal head has watched this movie more than he can count, you can’t help but notice your best friend has become instantly tense the moment Lynda’s tits appear on screen.
Eddie’s virginity wasn’t a secret in your friendship, he’d constantly asked you for advice on how to please his partner when the day finally came, but watching him squirm in his seat at glimpse of bare tits makes your heart melt. To be completely honest you had a crush on your bestie for as long as you can remember, to be fair who wouldn’t? You’ve thought about him a few times when your hands were in between your legs, fingers pumping in and out of your sopping cunt.
You’ve thought about offering taking Eddie’s virginity but you would hate to take something so special from him especially when it should be with someone he loves. So you kept your offer to yourself, helped him with any advice he’d asked, and remained supportive in his search of a partner.
The continuous bounce of Eddie’s knee pulls your attention from the screen, too entertained by his constant fidgeting. The scene that got him so riled up as now ended with the pretty blonde being killed but his growing length beneath his jeans continues to strain against the unforgiving material.
Even though it’s selfish and you’re dying to know what he hides beneath his pants, you give in and ask him the one thing you’ve been dying to ever since the two of you turned eighteen.
“Eds, are you good?” Leaning forward, you curl your legs underneath your bum.
His head snaps towards you, eyes bugged out and cheeks flushed. “M-me? Yeah I’m fine, m’good.”
Eddie nods his head slowly, not only trying to convince you of his words but also himself. Your face falls, mouth pulling into a straight line clearly unamused by his horrible acting.
“Okay let’s try this again but this time tell me the truth,” You say sternly, “are you good?”
Letting his head fall to the back of the couch, Eddie closed his eyes and lets out a harsh breath. “I’m just, the movie it’s,”
The nervousness in his voice won’t let him finish his sentence, every thought in his brain melting together in a bowl of mumbo jumbo.
Placing your hand on his thigh, a little higher than usual, you look up at him from under your lashes. “Her tits got you all hot and bothered, is that it?”
Snapping his eyes open down at you, he stares at you as you spoke in a completely different language. Having too much fun with his blush intensifying, you lean forward just a bit more putting your cleavage on display.
“It hurts, huh? Feels like you’re gonna burst at any moment.” Your voice is sweet like sugar, dripping with an intoxicating amount of intensity that Eddie’s never heard.
His hands that sit by his sides clench and unclench, jitters pouring through him at an alarming rate. Too dumb to speak he nods, curls bouncing with every motion.
“Awe baby, s’okay,” you coo as you hook your legs over his thighs, “if you want I can make it all better. Want me to kiss it better?”
Eddie stares at you unblinkingly, mouth parted slightly in awe. Again he nods but this time you tsk at him, shaking your head back and forth in disapproval.
“I asked you a question, honey, I need your words. Do you want me to make it better?” You pout your lips at him and he swallows harshly.
“Please make it better, hurts s’bad.” He slurs, already drunk off your touch without even really feeling it just yet.
“Such a good boy begging me so nicely.”
Slowly you move forward, capturing his soft lips into a needy kiss. Despite being a virgin Eddie does a good job kissing you, not going overboard with too much tongue or sloppy movements.
Taking a chance and wanting to take care of the growing pulse that grows in between your thighs, you begin to rock hesitantly over his hard length. The intense spark you feel jolting through your veins is verbalized with the wanton moan that rips from Eddie’s throat and vibrates into your mouth.
Picking up your momentum you can’t help but roll your eyes into the back of your head, the rough material of his jeans adding extra intensity to your pulsing bundle of nerves. Eddie isn't any better, his face is flushed red, bangs sticking to his forehead due to the amount of sweat that beads from his hairline, and his chest rattles from all the moaning sobs that leave his open mouth.
Opening your eyes you can't help but snort at Eddie's awkward hand placement. They hang in the air, itching to grasp at something but too nervous to give into the temptation.
Letting your hips come to a complete stop, you gently cup his cheeks in the palm of your hand. Hazy eyes open and look right at you, a thousand tiny specks of glitter shimmer in the big brown pools, sweeping you right into his vortex.
"Eddie honey, do you want to touch me?" Despite the dryness that lingers in your mouth, your words drip and saturate the boy beneath you in love and care.
"If that's okay with you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. So like if you don't want me to I won't-" You stop his rambles with a quick kiss to his lips.
Pulling away with a small giggle you look at him the same way he's looking at you, disgustingly in awe.
"I want you to touch me, Eddie. Bet your hands would feel so nice on me, so big and strong."
With the thought of it makes your underwear even wetter, so wet that you know when you get off his lap there will be a big wet stain. Not wanting to wait any longer you pull your shirt over your head, revealing the pretty white lace bra that holds your breast into place.
Eddie looks something like a fish, opening and closing his mouth with unspoken words that get caught in his throat. Although it's funny watching your best friend so speechless, you can't help but adore his childlike wonder.
Gripping his wrists in your hand and pull them towards you placing them on your tits, squeezing his fingers around the doughy flesh causing you to hiss in satisfaction.
"F-fuck you're so hot." It's breathless when it comes out.
Eddie follows your lead, fondling your round breasts in the palms of his big hands. The feeling of his grip causes you to resume your motions, grinding harder on his lap trying to relieve the hammering thump in between your legs.
You remember in the fog of your lust that this wasn't about you, it was in fact about your best friend who is currently trying to hold himself together.
Again you stop your movements, pulling his hands from your lace covered chest, and move from his lap.
"W-wait, what's- what are you doing?" Eddie is more than frantic, he's completely distraught with the absence of your weight on his legs.
Pinching his cheek sweetly, you push his legs apart to create enough room for yourself. Sinking to your knees, you move into the space you've created for yourself.
"I'm doing what I said I was going to do, I'm going to kiss it better." You drag your nails up his jean covered thighs, gazing up at him with doe eyes acting as if you aren't making one of his dreams come true.
"Yeah yeah, fuck okay." Babbling like an idiot, Eddie stares at you completely shocked as if you didn't promise this to him earlier.
Raising your eyebrows at him, you wait for him to catch on to what you're waiting for. It doesn't hit him until you clear your throat and point at the handcuff belt that hold his jeans in place.
"Oh shit, right. Let me just get these off." Going as fast as his shaking hands will allow him, he goes to undo his belt and push his pants just below his balls.
His cock bounces from their confines, hitting his tee shirt covered navel with a small thud. You can't help but gawk at the sight of him. Eddie's packing more than you ever imagined, long and thick with a prominent vein running along the underside. The tip is a pretty pink shade that shines from the pearls of precum that dripples from the slit.
Your mouth fills with saliva just from the sight alone. The dark brown thatch of curls that sit at the base match the hair on his heavy balls. You weren't someone who found genitalia appetizing but man oh man was did your best friend's look good enough to eat.
The small silence that settled between you two has clearly made Eddie anxious. His chocolate brown eyes look anywhere but you and the thick chunky rings that sit on his fingers have become his clear fascination, twisting them around and around his thick digits.
Not wanting him to sit with his thoughts any longer, you lean up enough to capture his kiss bitten lips in a passionate kiss. This time it's all teeth and tongue, spit swapping between the two of you.
When you both pull away you wish you could continue kissing him, fuck the oxygen that you need all you want is Eddie.
Sitting back down on your knees, you let spit dripple down onto his stiff shaft. Clasping your hand around him you begin to jerk him off slowly, not wanting the moment to be over fast.
Eddie on the other hand is fighting for his life, lip pulled between his teeth and his eyebrows pinching together. You drink it up like a plant in the middle of a drought.
"You're s'pretty, Eds and your cock, fuck it's so pretty too." You coo, to prove your point you press kisses up and down his length.
"Mmm s-shit, your ha- your hand feels so good." Eddie's voice is completely strained, his jugular vein pocking out every once and a while.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that Eddie's nearing the end, the shaking and tensing of his thighs a clear sign. Wanting him to experience it all, you envelope the tip of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and licking along the slit to collect the salty bead of pre that beads out of it.
Moving your mouth lower, you take him halfway into your mouth and allow your hand to jerk off whatever you can't take. The hand that braces itself on his thigh snakes its way to the heavy sack that sits just below his cock, kneading it in the palm of your hand gently.
Without needing instruction Eddie's hand finds it's way to your head, gripping your hair at the scalp and pulling out it with vigor. The pain and arousal that sparks within you causes you to moan around him, making him sob out in ecstasy.
"F-uh, oh don't stop I'm gonna- shit I'm gonna cum!"
Moving your head as fast as you can, you move to the tip to avoid chocking on the salty release. Still pumping your hand up and down on his cock you collect his warm seed in your mouth, letting it pool on your tongue.
Above you Eddie is a screaming mess, blabbing nonsense and groaning loudly. To no one's surprise Eddie cums and he cums a lot, so much so that it starts to dripple out the sides of your mouth with the string of your spit.
Once his breath returns to his lungs and his grip loosens on your hair, you let him fall out of your mouth with a lewd pop. When your eyes make eye contact with his own, you open your mouth to show him the pearly white of his release that sits on your pink tongue. Closing your mouth and swallowing it with a loud hum, you open your eyes to see Eddie completely gobsmack.
"Jesus sweetheart, you can't do shit like that unless you want me to get hard again." He says with an airy laugh.
You take his words as a threat, one that you'd be stupid not to take with the way your pussy flutters in need.
"Who said I was done, Munson?"
#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x female reader
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aw hell
so the model ship scene. where ed’s getting excited about all the trinkets stede’s got while izzy crowds around him trying to corral his behavior. and then ed snaps at him and complains that he’s sick of the life he’s living and urgently needs something new.
my focus has always been on the element of passive suicidal ideation that the scene introduces in ed and i just kind of assumed that the purpose of that rant was to communicate to the audience what ed was communicating to izzy.
but now im actually parsing that that’s what the scene is showing us. ed communicating his discomfort to izzy, in fully explicit terms, with no obfuscations. he’s genuinely trying to share that he’s struggling. and izzy’s response amounts to “not the time, suck it up”
and then a handful of scenes later we see him communicating this exact same discomfort to stede, who responds with sympathy and a suggestion. no wonder ed fell so fucking fast, that probably felt like night and day
#its ironic bc ive seen both-sidesers argue that ed is as much to blame as izzy for the state of their relationship specifically bc he doesnt#make any effort to communicate and while ive never thought that was a legitimate argument it literally never occurred to me that thats just#also straight up textually.. wrong?? damn
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Hello I'm just curious
Do you read some Severitus fanfiction ?
Because I saw that you draw Severitus art and I love it !!
If you read some ,Which Severitus fanfiction do you prefer the most ?
HIII!!! So I’m assuming you’re new to my blog- welcome- it is essentially Severitus heaven. You will find be fed frequently. Sorry for replying to this so late- school is killing me ;-;
Severitus fanfiction is the main fanfic that I read!!!
I have an old list of recommendations somewhere in my posts but here’s the ones I can remember off the top of my head!
1. Heir to the House of Prince by Elph13
Ongoing 3 part series over a million words in total TW: SA, Self-Harm, Alcoholism and a bunch of other stuff
This is my favorite fic of all time, I quite literally cannot recommend it enough. It has Snupin and NottPott as its main two pairings and it’s just chiefs kiss, MWAH
(U need an ao3 account to read this one)
2. Oh Mine Enemy by Kirbylane
TW: Addiction, abuse
Another solid completed fic, very popular,
3. Digging for the Bones by Paganaidd
TW: Abuse, self harm, suicide attempts, probably more I haven’t read it in a while
I remember reading this 3 or even more years ago- very solid fic, I think if you like Severitus you have probably already read it before
4. A Small Step for a Boy by SerenaEW
Completed one shot, TW: ED
Very cute lil story that I sometimes go to for a lil break from the angst. Harry struggles to eat food after the dursleys and Severus succeeds in finding something he likes.
5. That Awful Boy by Paracosim
Unfortunately incomplete, snupin, abuse, a lil addiction with smoking.
In conclusion, I like my Severitus fics angsty as all hell with equal amounts of fluff. I physically can’t handle angsty fics without fluff.
#harry potter#hp fandom#inkyarcturus babbles :p#pro snape#severussnape#severitus#golden trio era#ask response
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First kiss hcs of Ed, Bosch, Jamie and Luke??? 👀 Pretty plz with a cherry on top?
👀hehehe of course
Ed
He was on an adrenaline high after you and him stomped out some Shadaloo trash, who'd been tailing you two for days.
Thinking they had the upper hand, they tried to corner you two in an alleyway.
Obviously, they're not the type to listen to reason, so he'll let his fist do all the talking.
But one of those thugs was quick enough to hook him in the mouth, splattering blood over the left side of his face.
That was cute, Ed had to admit, but that didn't stop him from knocking them out cold with a brutal right cross.
After the dust settled down, you noticed his split lip, so you tried to wipe the blood away with your thumb.
But Ed grabbed your hand just before you could touch his face.
The adrenaline mixed with his possessiveness led to an unexpected situation between you two.
And without a second thought, Ed pulled you into a needy kiss.
You can taste the iron on your tongue as he wraps his arms around you, feeling the desperation on his lips.
Although you were the one who broke the kiss, Ed was the one who leaned in for more.
Bosch
Your first kiss happened when you forgot to bring your lunch to the gym, so you did the only reasonable thing and sulked face down on the mats.
Noticing your…predicament, Bosch asked why you looked so distraught.
You told him how you packed a 5-star culinary meal, only for you to leave it at home.
He rolled his eyes, holding out a container. "Here, and don't expect this to be an everyday thing."
You pushed yourself up, sitting cross-legged as you took the container from him. "What is it?" you asked.
Bosch said he knew you would forget to bring your lunch again, so he prepared one for you in advance, which made you stare at him.
"What?" he said.
"You're more domestic than I imagined."
"Just take your food." He shot back, feeling the warmth creeping up his neck. Great, now he's starting to feel embarrassed.
Unable to resist his cute face, you leaned in and gave him a short, sweet kiss as a thank you.
Bosch stiffened under your gesture, but eventually relaxed once you pulled away.
He lightly ran his fingers across his lips, trying to feel the sensation again.
But as you were about to join the others, you felt a slight tug on the back of your shirt.
"Hey," he muttered, eyes meeting yours. "Don't forget to thank me properly later."
Jamie
Your first kiss with Jamie happened when he was drunk.
He can be quite affectionate after a couple of rounds and tends to cling to you when you try to leave.
So it wasn't surprising that he wrapped you in his arms during a night out on the rooftops of Chinatown.
He smothered you to the point where you had to physically remove him despite his whines.
And when you thought that was the end of it, Jamie had you pinned to the floor faster than you could blink.
"Where do you think you're going?" he said in a drunken stupor.
He laughed, watching as you struggled against him.
Aw, don't look at him like that, it'll make him feel bad.
But Jamie knew just the thing to cheer you up.
His loose hair tickled your face as he leaned closer to you.
And although he was drunk, he was a functioning drunk. So he wasn't too sloppy in his movements as he gave you a kiss.
Jamie nipped at your lips impatiently, wanting to taste more of you.
And when he pulled back, he got a good look at your flustered face.
His grip loosened around you, which gave you enough time to try and wiggle out.
"You wanna leave so soon?... We barely even started."
Luke
Luke isn't the type of guy to shy away from affection.
In fact, he encourages you to give him more.
He likes to give you a lot of cheek pecks even before your first official kiss.
It happened when you had a movie night at his house.
You both ate sugary treats and buttery popcorn until your stomach hurt from the amount of food you two were eating.
He always invited you to his home to do random activities: like playing video games or setting up his new computer equipment.
After a while, you rest your head on his chest and snuggled closer to him under the covers.
You like feeling how warm he was and hearing the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
Luke grinned, seeing how cute your tired face was, and pulled the blanket over your shoulders.
He asked if you wanted to clock out for the rest of the night but you groaned, saying how you wanted to finish the movie.
He gave you a peck on your lips, "It's okay. The movie will still be here when you wake up."
The kiss was light and gentle.
And his lips were softer than you expected.
"Your lips are soft..." you said, before dozing off.
Luke laughed at your remark and engulfed your body in a tight hug.
#street fighter#street fighter 6#street fighter x reader#street fighter 6 x reader#sf x reader#sf6 x reader#luke sullivan x reader#luke sullivan#street fighter ed x reader#ed x reader#bosch x reader#sf6 bosch x reader#bosch waraya#bosch waraya x reader#luke x reader#street fighter luke x reader#street fighter jamie#street fighter jamie siu x reader#street fighter 6 ed x reader#jamie x reader#jamie siu
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Celebration: 88,978 Words in One Day!
Just yesterday, a few other LU writers and I, Hot Cheeto Hatred, hosted our first ever monthly (hopefully) Write-a-thon! This event ran on June 4 from 12 am EST to 12 am EST, with one goal in mind---write as many productive words within that day as humanly possible. Words included in the final marathon count ranged from storyboarding, fic writing, editing, answering comments, journalling and homework---basically, any words that furthered yourself, the writing community at large, or your stories. We utilized either the Discord Sprint bot or self-reporting to collect the numbers at the end. Everyone involved gave it their all, with most of them being present for most if not all of the run time as they were able, and I'm so proud of their dedication towards their craft. Anyways, here's the final breakdown of the numbers below, as well as the awards and titles earned by each participant, as decided by the discord server (and myself at random).
Now onto the awards:
I am pleased to report that @not-freyja (Freyja above) won the "Writer of All Time" Award, pulling ahead with 20,565 of our total words. What an accomplishment! Freyja participated from dawn to well, dawn, and they absolutely deserve all praise and awe.
I'm giving myself, @hotcheetohatred (Cheeto), the award "Writer of Some Time," as I fell behind our lovely Freyja by a mere few hundred words fifteen minutes before the clock struck midnight. Next time, Freyja, next time...
The "Actually A Writer" award goes to @marcusdoodlesalot (Marcus), who, despite the name, DOES actually write, not just draw! Who would have thought. Not Freyja, that's for sure.
The "Early Bird" award goes to @lerikwrites (Lerik), who solely sprinted in the wee hours of the morning (my time, at least). Terrible. Good job.
"Star Commentor" goes to @elle-rosewater (Eliot), because I stole most of her words for the count from my own comment section in the BDOR Prologues. We love you, Eliot :3 Can't wait to see you next month.
"Cheerleader" goes to @la-sera, who gave us much encouragement throughout the day. I stole your 19 words from you saying you were excited to read Estelian's work. Hope that's okay, because I really wanted to include you---you provided a lot, even if you didn't write with us this time <3.
@whumpitywhumpitywhumpity (Dowsemaxxer) earns "Spirit-ed Storyboarder" for all of his lovely, informative talk on Spirit and just what makes him so great as a rather underappreciated LU boy.
Two awards next! "Chief Editor" and "Most Student" both go to @unexpectedstormy (Stormy) for faer work on getting. stuff. done. Fae did a steady amount of work, so proud.
"Editor (of Word Count) in Chief" goes to @tashacee (Tash), who, at reporting time, was scrounging up 100 and 200 word bits like spare change while I desperately tried to do math. I love you, never change.
The title of "Specter" goes to @somer-writes (Somer), who logged in very few sprints, but participated with the rest of us and pulled up at the end with a whole 7.5K words and a bunch of fics to post at the end, with a lot of it being Ghost AU! He's amazing.
The award "Better Late than Never" goes to our resident artist and recently turned fic-writer @estelian-01 (Este), who joined only in the last half of the marathon but managed to pull a whole 4K! Pictures might be worth a thousand words, but Este wrote a couple more anyway.
@across-violet-skies (Riv) gets the title "Mover and Shaker (of Blorbos)" for managing to participate and get quite the hefty wordcount only a DAY after moving. They're a trooper, that's for sure.
@anime-obsessed (Vio/Nene) earns the award "Most Old School" for writing with pen and paper for most of the day. Please go rest your wrist after all of that.
The award "Head in the Clouds" goes to my bestie and beloved beta reader @needfantasticstories (Skip), who spent the day listening to music and writing Skyloft drabbles. I am nervous/excited to see if those drabbles turned out fluffy as a Loftwing, or perhaps into something more angsty.
@noorahqar (Qar), my lovely fragile Victorian wife, earns the title "Chatty." You know why. But you were there nearly all of the run time, and so engaging and encouraging throughout---a blessing to us all. And even then, you managed to pull so many words. I'm impressed.
And finally, @rosehipandroots / @rosetintedtears (Rose) receives the titles "ndskanefnre" (self chosen) and "Birthday Santa." The first was borne of panic of being asked to choose a title---the second of her relentless effort to get her birthday fics done. Great job.
I'd like to thank everyone that I tagged for participating in the write-a-thon, and thank all of you for helping me draft this post as well. If I messed up any word counts or details or pronouns, you want to request a title/award change, or I missed someone, please DM and let me know! The next Write-a-thon will be held on July 1 from 12am to 12am GMT, and we'll be trying to beat our record. Can't wait to see all of you then!
#linked universe#lu#linkeduniverse#linked universe fic#lu fic#lu write-a-thon#write-a-thon#more like#write-a-ton#ya'll did amazing#cheetowrites
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SFJ: Where’d you go to school?
FA: From second grade until ninth grade I went to this place St. Hilda’s and St. Hugh’s School, which is on 114th and Riverside. I have really good memories of that school; I think it was a great place. Really small, and really a diverse group of kids—lots of exchange students went there for some reason. It’s an Episcopalian school, but nobody even knew what Episcopalian meant. I still don’t know what Episcopalian means. We went to chapel every morning and had Eucharist every Wednesday. There were nuns that taught there, but, strangely, it didn’t feel like it was a religious school.
SFJ: So what happened in ninth grade?
FA: My dad lived in Venice, and I went out to spend a year to live with him, and I went to Hamilton High for one year, in California. That was an awful year. St. Hilda’s goes from nursery to twelfth [8th] grade, and there were three hundred kids in the whole school. Hamilton had five thousand kids for high school. At St. Hilda’s, that small amount of kids, from all over the world, all different religious, and it wasn’t ever an issue. Going out to L.A., it was like five thousand kids. The quad was the most segregated place I had ever seen. I didn’t know where to go. It was a terrible year. I couldn’t really find any friends that stuck.
SFJ: And that was tenth grade?
FA: Yeah, that was tenth grade. Then, I came back to New York and went to this place called Rhodes, which was a night school, and they used the building of the Dwight School, on 89th. I was a receptionist at the Dwight School during the day, and then, when they shut down, then Rhodes was at night. Rhodes was ridiculous. There was maybe twenty kids that went there. It was the only place I could go to because by the time I realized I was miserable in California—I didn’t have very good grades to begin with—it was hard to get into a school, and it was like, “Oh, Rhodes’ll take me.” Everybody that was at Rhodes was those kids that like no one else would take them. And all the teachers that worked there—it wasn’t like they were bad teachers, but everybody that worked there they were doing it to get extra money. They were teaching a class at night, because they needed the money. Nobody was really invested in it at all; everybody kind of had to be there. It was ridiculous. It was like, “Do your homework? What?” The classes were an hour and a half, and you’d have forty-five minutes, and then a fifteen-minute break, and then another forty-five minutes. On fifteen-minute break, everybody would go outside and smoke pot. There was no second forty-five minutes ever, and you’d be sitting out on the stoop and the teachers would be like, “Come back into class.” and you’d be like, “Why?” It was that kind of place. And then they closed down.
SFJ: So things kind of went downhill after ninth grade.
FA: And then after that, for my senior year, I went back to California, to this place called Poseidon, which was a home school. It was actually a school for people with emotional problems, and I was really lucky to get in. I didn’t graduate, though, because they require you to take driver’s ed, and I hadn’t done that.
Excerpt from interview by Sasha Frere-Jones—September 16th 2005 at the W Hotel and September 18th 2005 at Café Botanica in the Essex Hotel.
#fiona apple#interviews#Shameika was in third grade#episcopal is derived from the Ancient Greek epískopos meaning overseer#Sasha Frere-Jones
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this is making me think of inexperienced!eddie realizing his sex god potential for the first time and i need to chew on the bars of my enclosure for a moment
god can you imagine
i'm so biased cause it's the best position but he's just pounding into you while you're folded over yourself and his arms are finding leverage with the backs of your knees and you can feel him in your mf guts cause he's so big.
and he’s trying he really is, he’s so close to cumming way too quickly, but your moans and noises only spur him on further, his dick twitching inside of you making for more delicious friction between your bodies. there’s no way you’re enjoying it that much, right?
“shit, sweetheart, i’m so sorry i’m- fuck” you don’t even have to hear him before you invite him to go faster, your hands on his butt helping him guide the pace.
“this is so fucking good” you exhale, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he hits a spot “you’re so- mmm- fucking good”
the way he has your legs folded over your chest, he’s so strong he’s just pinning you down and using you for his own pleasure, the thought of it makes your tummy do a flip.
“that’s it, baby, take it” he says through gritted teeth, but every word that drips from his filthy mouth is enough to make you clench around him, making the both of you moan together.
“‘mgonnacum” he warns, and then he’s spilling himself inside the condom with a loud uh.
you lay there panting, in awe at the amount of force he used on you as he hops off of your legs to tie the condom and throw it away, while you feel like a bag of bricks has been lifted off of you.
“sorry you didn’t cum, sweetheart” he says, a look on his face that says he’s genuinely sorry.
“who said we’re done?” you’re still in the same position he’d left you in “lemme move and you can eat me out”
but when you try to move your limbs just feel unresponsive. there’s a dull ache in your thighs and chest, soreness setting in.
“ed, we have a problem” you blush red.
“what is it, you okay?” he asks, concern on his face.
“i can’t fucking move” a laugh escapes you, and a shit earring grin forms on his face. from the heights of his little experience he just crosses his arms and stares at you, pleased as a peach.
“i did that, huh?”
#i dunno what this is#but it’s hot#take it a lil christmas gift from me#moots🫶🏻#luiza🩶#keeksgetsasks!
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