#Source: Modern Family

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Rio: Act like a parent, talk like a peer.

Rio: I call it “peer-enting”.

[incorrect-soukoku]

Chuuya: We didn’t even have a proper wedding. We just went down to the courthouse on a Tuesday.

Dazai: The judge sentenced me to life with no chance of parole.

Chuuya: *scoffs* You begged me to marry you.

Dazai: It’s true, I did.

[batfamgalore]

*Dick opens the door on Tim and Tim slams his computer shut*

Dick: Hey, it’s just you and me for dinner, I’ll see you later?

Tim: Yeah.

Dick: Cool.

*Dick closes the door and then quickly opens it back up*

Dick: Hah! I knew it! What are you hiding?

Tim: Porn!

Dick: Don’t lie to me!

Tim: Fine. I’m working the case Bruce told me not to work.

[liv45no]

Ted: dating a Black is great.

James: so great!

Remus: the best!

Ted: but they tend to be a tad judgmental.

James: almost punitive.

Remus: they are monsters.

Ted: that’s why the three of us formed a secret alliance to help each other cover up our little mistakes :)

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Bruce: I raised five perfectly functional children

Y/N: *tearing up* You have five other children we don’t know about?!

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: Damian likes to win.

Dick: When he was eight, a little Girl Scout friend of his bragged she could sell the most cookies.

Dick: Damned if Damian didn’t walk the neighborhood 'til he got blisters on his feet and won by ten boxes.

Dick: Best part is, Damian wasn’t even a Girl Scout.

[waltermis]

Are You Kidding Me?

*Vision and Y/N heading out for a mission*

Wanda: Vision

Vision: Yes, Ma'am?

Wanda: Be back in time for dinner.

Vision: Uh, yes, Ma'am

*They leave*

Wanda: I'm so sorry you had to see that

Natasha: See what?

Wanda: The way we just snapped at each other.

Natasha: Are you kidding?

Wanda: *sigh* Obviously Vision and I are going through one hell of a rough patch

Natasha: If I talked to Y/N that nicely, she would think I'm cheating on her

[here-comes-the-moose]

Wrecker: Do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Tech: You’re a hazard to society.

Crosshair: And a coward, do twenty.

[lyssasdrafts]

Feyre: We decided that if, Cauldron forbid, anything happens to us, we would like Nesta and Cassian to be Nyx's god parents

Nesta: That is great news! Nyx! When something horrible happens, you'll be all mine!

Rhysand: It really is an 'if' situation

Nesta, taking Nyx: All mine!

[terry-perry]

Vox: It’s sad, really, to see a once-mediocre Overlord reduced to this.

Alastor: Vox, please, let’s keep this civil. Oh, by the way, if you ever speak disrespectfully again about my wife, I’ll kill you.

Vox: …

Alastor: [Chuckling] Sorry, that sounded like a joke. I will actually kill you.

The first half of A Business Proposal, in a nutshell

Before things went to shit...

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Portia: I raised three perfectly functional daughters.

Penelope: You have three other daughters we don’t know about?!

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Wanda: How do you say in English the takatakatakataka?

Y/N: Helicopter.

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2617

I'm waiting for the patch to download so here's some bloodweave flirting. (Dialogue from Modern Family.)

[batfamgalore]

*They’re at a gala and Damian is self conscious because Bruce is giving a lot of attention to someone else’s baby and now Damian is trying to convince Jason that he’s better*

Jason: You’re right, you’re way cuter than a baby. I’m gonna go check on dinner.

*Walks away, turns to Dick who was watching the whole interaction*

Jason: Sometimes I like to just toss a grenade and run away.

[incorrectgliyeraba]

Elphaba, reading Glinda's diary: "Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed." Elphaba: [stares at Glinda in disbelief] Glinda: See? Perfect.

[thealtoduck]

BatCat!Bro: In my neighbourhood there was a saying ”Love is just around the corner”…

Dick: *smiles warmly* That’s such a nice way to think i’ll keep that with me *Gets up and leaves*

Damian: *Looks at BatCat!Bro suspiciously* What’s the catch?

BatCat!Bro: I come from a neighbourhood with a lot of prostitutes…