#Sorry i talk too much about him its . Its an illness. Im sorry
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The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...
#I FEEL ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY THAT I COMPLETELY RESPECT SNS TO THE ULTIMATE DEGREE AND I AGREE WITH THEIR SHIPPERS ON MOST THINGS#BUT THE SHIP STILL KINDA PISSES ME OFF IDK WHY IM SORRY IT JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY I HAVE TRIED TO LOVE IT I REALLY HAVE BUT I CANT#AND MADARA HAD SOME GOOD POINTS BUT I THINK ITS SHITTY THAT HE ABANDONED HIS CLAN AND THEN PLOTTED THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD#ALSO ITACHI HAD LIKE OTHER OPTIONS!???? WHY THE FUCK DID HE TORTURE SASUKE TWICE LIKE 😭😭😭#WHAT WAS THE POINT MY G WHY ARE YOU TORTURING HIM I THINK THE MENTAL IMAGE OF THEM DYING WAS ENOUGH DIDNT NEED TO GIVE HIM 500000 EXAMPLES#WE AS A SOCIETY DO NOT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT THE FACT THAT WHEN MADARA ASKED HASHIRAMA TO EITHER KHS OR KILL TOBIRAMA#TOBIRAMA GENUINELY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THAT HASHIRAMA WOULD GO AFTER HIS THROAT FOR LIKE- THIS GUY WHO HE USED TO THROW STONES WITH!???#ITS SO DIFFICULT TO FIND PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND SASUKES TRAUMA AND WHO LIKES SASUSAKU 😭😭#COS LIKE ILL 100% ADMIT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WAS WRITTEN SHITILY AND SUCKED AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE BROTHERS#SNS HAS BETTER WRITING THAN SSK OR NRHN SOMEHOW???? ITS WRITTEN SO WELL PEOPLE GENUINELY BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL PLOT HAD SNS PLANNED#BUT ALSO SAKURA IS SO SILLY AND STRONG AND DID ANY OF YOU READ SASUKE RETSUDEN “Trapped by a body he knew perfectly”#OKAY SASUKE YOURE ON A MISSION??? CALM THE FUCK DOWN 😭😭#NO AND IN LIKE SSK FICS SASUKE IS SOME BAD BOY WHO JUST SMIRKS AND IS EMOTIONLESS AND SAKURA IS SOOOOO EMOTIONAL FUCK OFF YOU TWATS!!!!#SASUKE IS THE KITTEN!! SAKURA SO OBVIOUSLY RADIATES DADDY ENERGY YALL ARE FUCKING INSANE!!!#WHY DO WE GET KITTEN SASUKE IN EVERY OTHER SHIP BUT THE FUCKING CANON ONE!! AT MY FUCKING!!!! LIMIT!!!#FIND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE COMPLEXITYS OF SASUKES CHARACTER AND UNDERSTANDS WHAT TRAUMA DOES TO A PERSON YET DOESNT HATE SSK CHALLENG#Uh oh I went a bit mad there hahaha#I REGRET NOTHING SASUKE DID NOTHING WRONG SAKURA IS GIRL BOSS AND THE NARUTO WORLD IS EITHER UNEXPLAINABLY VIOLENT OR FAR TOO FORGIVING#naruto#naruto shippuden#itachi uchiha#pro sasuke#haruno sakura#Pro Sakura#Sasuke Uchiha#sasuke did nothing wrong#It looks awkward to just go from all those long tags to the iddy bitty ones#Moldy-flowers#Kitten and daddy? Tf am i on about I've been watching too much game grumps shi 😭😭
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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again
Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee
Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.
Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.
Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg
SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.
Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be
Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,
ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.
Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at
I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.
Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao
#sand speaks#hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text#i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised#like at all. itd be so bad#anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all#i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong#or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab#and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of#saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises#anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved#like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me#anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom#i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time#tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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rereading ep7 is really strengthening my willness (will illness) because everyone remembers the scene where will kisses jessica's hand but i forgot that right afterwards it says
"Will had returned the greeting in what he thought was a perfectly serious way" 😭 😭 HE DIDNT EVEN REALIZE WHY SHE WAS EMBARASSED? THIS IS NORMAL TO HIM?
#i fucking hate this guy. is the implication he didnt greet lion like that despite their equally formal greeting bc he didnt care abt -#formality at first and so Now that lion told him to be nice and polite hes doing it? and hes like See im behaving what do you want why is -#she freaking out. Whats the issue.#IS IT A GREAT COURT OF HEAVEN THING. They obviously have an old fashioned vibe and are ambiguously 19th century. (despite van dine -#being 20th century. its for the vibe i understand i cant complain.) BUT WHAT!!! DOES HE JUST GO AROUND DOING THIS????#Sorry i talk too much about him its . Its an illness. Im sorry#data#umineko spoilers#willion#willard h wright
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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finished mashle. finished mashle. finished mashle. the fanfic authors LIED TO MY GOOD FACe
#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SUMMONED IT.......WHAT DO YOU MEAN......WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT HIS FEAR OF GHOSTS???#like WOW my heart is bouncing accross the country rn but WOW okay. yeah okay this is fine im#HHHNNMMNNMMNNNM#mashle#so many characters to love......#i do just. find it so fucking funny. after all the shit his bio dad pulled mash was like no. no one is going to get the CHANCE to redeem yo#AND HE BECAME THE PASSITIRE UHBBJJNNNNNMG IM SOBBINNN NNNGGGG#im. so. distraught. over. DOMINA.........i think thats his name goooooooooodddd fucking lorrrddddddddddd#sorry someones ahvjng a baby on tv and the sounds r very graphic wth#ignoring that.#red blue gays strike again . to me.#my faves besides mash and punkrock sound gal#was anna. and mother fucking FINN HELLO IM GONNA PUMP YOU WITH#no im not finisihing that sentence thats too much even for me#u know me i love sibling dynamics so this comic FED#i keep seeing stuff ab dot having a sibling too so im Assuming its from the fanbook? which is a innaccessible to me rn hnmng#so i will just. STALK THE WIKI YAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY#enstars all over again HHCJSGSVXVX#i love that everyones so fucking weird. they all have flaws its v prominent. gorgeorus to ME#lemon has a mash shrine me too girl. but for finn.#FINN AND THATS ITHER GUYYYYYYYYYYY I DONT RMEMBER HIS NAME#i promised my bro id make him a powerpoint on the charas#so ill learn their names then.#all of mashes siblings were v unique deaugn wise i was obsessed. frat boy was so funny to me#GOD I NEED TO KILL SOMEONE W A WORD WALL AN THIA MANGA BEFORE I COMMIT CRIMEA AGAINST MYSELF#toe babbling
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unpopular opinion takasugi is boring esp after the shogun assasination arc im sorry i just dont like him
#bro has NOTHING he has NOTHING going on im tired of pretending hes deep#he was supposed to die in shogun assasination . i gotta live my truth#after all that arc was supposed tp be the last one but then they stretched it out#if he died there i wouldve been chiller with him but bro is STILL alive and the utsuro thing is just. weird#i dont think he really makes sense#like everybody else DOES which is what gets me#anyway i dont like to complain bc out of ALL OF THE BULL i have suffered as shonen watcher this is nothing#but i go into the tag and its all “ooh takasugi takasugi we all love takasugi” im sooooo tired of this guy please can we talk about anyone#can we talk about like. kagura. hijikata. gintoki???? shinpachi??? kaguras family??? KATSURA??? please please im begging yalll pleaseeeee#tbf its like the same three poeple in there i didnt realize that the fandom was so small but STILL#like. no hate to anyone that likes him but personally i find him both boring and inconsistent as a character....sorry...#it gets me especially because literally everyone else is . really interesting? except him?#if everyone else was not rlly THAT interesting and takasugi remained the same i dont think i'd mind so much but like.#sorry im just like............hmm............#maybe ill watch him die and i'll be all “oh nooooo taksugi nooo” but like. thats highly unlikely#sorry did not mean to rant so much but like...........hes so overrated ugh#he doesnt even have cool sword powers or cool outfit or even something gross going on. hes not even a little freak hes too normie
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lbg when he finds a guy with a beard that looks eerily close to his dead teacher/crush/??? that kicked him to hell when lbg was 17, ran away from him after reuniting 3 yrs post hell, and self destructed 5 years ago when trying to prevent lbg from going insane and mudering everyone
#im sorry but this gif is KILLING me.#its literally sqq in that plant body#and lbg finding him and being like hm ill use ur qi to regulate my qi so i can keep the corpse of my teacher from rotting :D#everyone wants a devouted insanely in love love interest. he is that.#he is that for better or worse#everyones like 'x character would destoy the world for x character'. binghe is insane enough he was about to kill himself and everyone#waif no i dont want to talk shit about him too much cause he did have an evil sword for like about 8 years that drove him insane#tbh i like svsss a lot i think its fun but everytime i think a bit about the power dynamics i want to put my head into the wall#like HELLO??? sqq is a teacher and pre transmigration he was an ABUSER?? OF LBG??? WHO WAS HIS PRE TEEN STUDENT??#like duh sy who transmigrated into sqq didnt abuse of do anything to lbg and didnt see him as anything other than protag until the very end#but still. thinking about svsss too long makes me want to bite through mxtx jagular
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#i just want this whole thing to be over#i know its mean to push him away like this#but the way our relationship was going. i was just so uncomfortable with the whole thing#i feel so awful because i know im the only person he really has to talk to#but i cant be that for him#its too much#it isnt fair to either of us if things stay they way they were#i still want to be friends but. not in the way he wants. i really cant be that close with someone ive only known a few months#it just doesnt work that way for me#i feel so awful for doing this but theres nothing i can do that would make anything any vetter#i really cant describe how uncomfortable the whole situation made me feel.#it sounds horrible and a bit ridiculous but being that close with him made me feel so shitty.#i hate this it really sucks.#vent#sorry ive been posting so much about this its just. a whole thing right now.#ill delete this later but right now im gonna go watch a movie and probably cry
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seeing like a mini debate about ast*rion vs daer*n ar*ndae in regards of quality and i might be specifically seeing only one sides opinion because. i do not think Mr. D is more compelling. ultimately i think theyre quite different as well so idfk
#censoring because i dont want it to pop up in peoples searchs#i might be biased because of 1. d*erans terrible voice acting 2. i have a harder time feeling text-based scenes#i guess the argument is more in regards to their romances and yeah okay d*erans progresses more naturally/feels realer ill give him that#but also i feel like there are more limitations to making a game with proper cinematics. if its only text you have more leeway to make#a relationship progress better and feel more believable idfk#d*erans facetious pseudotsundere antics are very cute but. i will never get over astarions act 2 scene and the graveyard scene#and if you dont talk about their romances im sorry i think astarions storyline wins.#i will say i like the way daer*n words things a lot its quite yummy#basically i saw daer*ns romance and thought “ohhh cute” and forgot a week afterwards. but also hes too much of a young pretty boy for me#i do keep thinking about camellia though. i dont think shes well written but her ass' crazy#it was really cool that her romance's ending is that she fucking abandons you 32rwrgew love herrrrr#you know what im adding more tags because upon further reflection i think part of my opinion is informed by the fact that im not a romantic#so that d*erans romance is more romantic doesnt really affect my opinion because i romance characters to see more of them#not for the romance experience. so idk if thats why i disagree with so many people#do you know all those headcanons that want to make tav way more relevant in astarions life than theyre supposed to be?#i think my disapproval of that is kind of related to this as well. whys tav the bus driver all of a sudden. idc about them
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BREAKING NEWS🚨🚨🚨🚨
I AM ALIVE!!!🥳🤩💃🏾💃🏾
#omg im so sorry for being offline for so long#i miss this website so much :((((((((#life was beating THE HELL OUT OF ME😮💨#okay so first i'll talk about some of my thoughts with football and what i missed and then updates about what's been going on with me#**i really wanted to come back online and let y'all know what's up but my sis's getting married this Sunday so i ill FULLY be back Monday#i just wanted to catch up on my notification but I'll go thru my inbox on Monday/Tuesday#okay FOOTBALL:#screw psg like sincerly#i cant believe theyre causing all this mess with him after he took his family on vacation😭#like the pics are SO CUTE??? how could you possibly punish him for that#also it speaks SO MUCH to his character that he FULLY recorded an apology vid like i thought he just released a typed statement#he really showing them so much more respect than they are treating him#im still salty about the lack of wc celebration....and fans booing him outside his house?? losers LOSERSSSS#i also think they're trying to act snobby about not extending him but with neymar most likely leaving they literally have too much to lose#also neymar expecting a child???? how did not know the girl he got pregnant?? so crazy SO crazy#anyways im also not optimistic about barca and messi....as much as they may talk the big variable here is La Liga allowing it to happen#they were the reason behind messi leaving and they're the only thing stopping him from coming back#as much as i dont BELIEVE messi would go to Saudi Arabia right now....i still really hate the rumours about Al-Hilal...like shut up please#if all else fails.....Pep por favor please just bring Messi to city...its not too late#he can be on the bench i don't even mind....i just HATE him at psg but i don't want him to leave Europe#In other news....Arsenal.....my heart hurts too much and I've expected that they wont be winning the league :'(((((#NOW about ME :))))#bad news first - DESPISE my job LIKE to the point where I'm crying almost daily about it but i cant quit. i jus want one summer to relax#good news: OFFICIALLY DONE MY UNDERGRADUATE DEGREEEEEEEE💃🏾😭🤧✨#THANK GOOODDDDDDDD ALHAMDULILAHHHHHHHHHH#SO DAMN HAPPY SO SO SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!#i also took my graduation pictures yesterday (thank you to the anons that told me i should get them done)#and i took the NEW ARGENTINA JERSEY WITH THE 3 STARS AND MESSI ON THE BACK AND POSED WITH IT😭😭🤣#im OBSESSED with the pic omg if i wasn't so paranoid about showing my face on this website i would've shared it#but yeah and my graduation is JUNE 9th!!! I AM SO EXCITED! Got a really pretty dress and it literally couldn't come soon enough :)
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I still think about “Another Word for Righteousness” by boo_cool_robot btw. Like its just up there. The Divine Scrupulosity is making me sooooooo. Like what do you meannnn thats MY brand of mental illness in the form of a divine software program that lives in a man’s brain/the suitcase he carries around. Good lird
It’s so sick that theyre listed as synonyms truly but like I get it. I got there. It’s incredible really.
righteous (adjective) 1: acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin 2: a: morally right or justifiable b: arising from an outraged sense of justice or morality
(+ from the fatt. wiki article for Rightenousness: “[...] a deep commitment to others in the broad sense, but in the narrow sense is willing to do whatever it takes for that commitment, [...]”)
scrupulous (adjective) 1: having moral integrity: acting in strict regard for what is considered right or proper
And like. The way that scrupulosity too makes you intensively care about others and to do right by them but in a way that puts yourself down while holding yourself to this high standard that righteousness just brings from itself...
It’s Ibex and Righteousness putting themselves Above... They know what’s best. What has to be done. And then Orth and Scrupulosity
But then again, Scrupulosity never likes its Candidates to be too comfortable.
-
Orth closes his eyes. “The first thing in any situation that Scrupulosity finds the flaws in is me. I don’t think meanness can scare me anymore.”
And how this makes Orth easier to manipulate like I’m going to screammmm. The way he numbs to it it is internalized and also what’s so so good here is that it is really truly exhausting to feel like this. And Orth is Oh so miserable and susceptible to someone complimenting him or trusting him even if he KNOWS it can’t be true.
“Meaning no offense to you of course. Dogs are wonderful. People trust dogs.”
“None taken,” Orth assures him. It would be nice to be trusted.
^ So good to meeeee because when you constantly have to be on guard that extends to yourself too and how you think other people perceive of you. Orth mentioning multiple times he Expects people to be put off or not trust him. Augh !
ALSO Orth making a point to separate himself from Scrupulosity (specifally to put himself down too. “Not my specialty. Scrupulosity’s.“). BUT at the end when
Scrupulosity says, You can’t trust him.
Scrupulosity says, You can’t trust yourself.
“I know,”Orth says aloud. He’s always known that.
Attar Rose looks down at him and smiles.
sorry i lost it for a moment. Because it Is a part of him it’s in thereeee. Maybe it’s always been.
anyways. good fic good fic
#(ALSO There’s something to it re: Ibex and Rightenousness and how in my mind they are so intertwined. where do they blend into each other)#(when does it stop.)#take this with a grain of salt btw its been 2 years since ive listened to counterweight. OK#im also extrapolating a lot sorry about it but again thats MY brand of mental illness in the form of etc etc.#not that sorry . im having fun#(i put the adjective definitons from merriam webster bc for the nouns its just like. 'the state or quality of being xyz')#i almost quoted animorphs btw (the bright clear line from a to b my beloved) but thats about ruthlessness.#it doesnt quite fit in with what im talking about here but it IS stil a great quote for ibex imo.#someone get on this i know im right#and then im also obsessed with the worldbuilding notes at the end GOOD LIRD ORTH. ORTH#oh its so much worse for him. lovely i love when divines are so horrible#also entirely off topic but the sokrates description of 'a whirl of blue braids and long skirts' is so. <3 hiiiii#truly. truly. i think about changing my tag sometimes i picked this in like. 2015? but its just real for this one#ill tag this in a reblog sometime dont quite Need my rambling to go in the actual tag#also all this aside orth/ibex just fucks. that too#rosa talk
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am on desktop so pretend i'm sending you the flame emoji ok. let's talk spamton
HI BASIL your flame emoji is super awesome
But okay. Let's start with the obvious one being that the other addisons are actually related to spamton. That's really highly contested and I know nothing concerning their specific kind of dynamic is confirmed but admittedly yeah it does make me feel really weird seeing people ship them together. Though ig this isn't really an unpopular opinion considering the fandom is pretty much split with it?
On that note I also have to admit I REALLY don't like a lot of spamton ships (with canon characters that is- self shipping is great obviously, it's sweet). It's one of those things where I totally see pretty much all the most common pairings with him happening at some point in his past (like jevil, swatch, queen- admittedly all unhealthy in some way), but I would never see it as something that I would. Yknow. Intentionally ship. I'd rather just acknowledge it as a likely thing of spamton’s history. From everything I've seen, it feels like people need to mischaracterize spamton or the other character he's shipped with in order to actually ship them in a way that even slightly resembles a healthy and long lasting relationship. I mean at the end of the day I'm not going to stop anybody, do what makes you happy if it doesnt hurt anybody, but it's very interesting to see that mischaracterization happen once you're aware of it being so common.
Last one! I've been thinking about this one a lot lately but I honestly do not think that spamton is nearly as narcissistic as people make him out to be. Yeah sure he's shown to be super self centered and excessively self praising in the moment you see him in canon but I highly suspect it's a coping mechanism rather than anything else. In a world where no one loves you or wants anything to do with you, you're the only person who CAN show yourself that love. It comes from a desperate place. Now do I think big shot spamton is narcissistic as fuck???? UH. YEAH. DUH. He's blinded by fame and constantly praised by others, ofc he's going to behave like that. But I genuinely do believe that current spamton, when positioned in a better, more stable environment, would absolutely chill the fuck out and might even border on insecure. It's a part of his character I feel is often taken at face value rather than looking at the context that has cultivated that personality trait of his. However, even in a more stable environment, he's likely not to let that facade falter very often out of fear.
#not about spamton btw but since its on topic it bothers me that yellow addison is always portrayed to be the super excitable one#hes kind of an asshole with a weird energy around him and thats all i can see him as#super distant as well#holds even his family at an arms length#i have a lot to say about the addisons but this isnt about them#not going to expand on this one too much either bc its a very cut and dry opinion but...#as common of a trope as it is in fics. and as cute as it is.#spamton would not let you assist in helping him get cleaned up once you take him home. im so sorry guys#he doesnt want to rely on anyone for anything without a deal and even then hed probably be iffy bc of personal space#it wouldnt be that easy#idk if any of this really counts as an unpopular opinion but its FINE i just want to talk about him#(not mentally ill about spamton at all btw. ignore how long of a post this is)#long post#? just in case#laika answers
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watching star trek with sans soooofun^________^
#this means im watching star trek and im clutching onto my sans stuffie for dear life#because. well you see im watching the episode where spock gets drugged by sex pollen and gets all giggly and cute like a highschool girl#and puts on silly overalls and fucking climbs trees and stuff#and talks about how much he loves the creepy girl sorry i immediately forgot her name even though ive seen this episode before#and well you see. that does stuff to me#ive talked abt spock on here before hes everything to me hes my 2nd biggest blorbo after U Know Who#if he wasnt gay and in love with kirk id be in love with him is the thing#so anyway whenever spock is being cute i go insane because hes my babygirl and stuff and i need my sans stuffie to hold onto#and im also simultaneously daydreaming about watching star trek with sans for realsies#you know how you do that with your fave f/os. like you just imagine youre doing whatever it is youre doing with them#like ill be in the kitchen getting milk or on my way to school or something and my brain is like#ok now pretend sans is there too#and without thinking im like ok sir yes sir. hey sans do you wanna hold hands#its the same now i think wed both have a lot of fun with star trek bc we both love science fiction (''ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS REAL!'')#and ive posted this before but i like imagining my f/os getting either very silently flustered when i gush about my favorite characters#(i.e. f/o sitting next to me getting silently worked up because i just spout pet names about my favorite character)#or that same exact thing except they get a little itsy bitsy teeny tiny jealous about it instead#OR they just think im cute when i get super excited about stuff#i like thinking about all of those like simultaneously with sans#cherry chats#bf (bone friend)#i kinda forgot what i was talking about near the end there somethings been wrong with my head lately i keep getting dizzy all the time#like every 30 seconds i just get hit with this intense wave of dizziness and lightheadedness and then after 1 second it goes back to normal#its like migranes except it doesnt hurt its just like my brain is a fish tryig to get enough momentum to jump out of the water (my cranium)#i thought it was low blood sugar but...... no matter what i eat or how much nothing changes#and it happens all the time too even when im just laying down#its sort of annoying and just a little bit unsettling but anyway as you can imagine it gets worse when im super excited like i am right now#so if im not making a lot of sense thats probably why. um. i forgot what i was doing#GOING BACK TO STAR TREK NOW BYE LOL!!!!!!!!!! sans is with me and were having soooo much fun
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Talking with Fabian and whooooooooo boy that was an conversation and a half...
#miranda talking shit#Uuuh i was kinda rightfully anxious? I told him about how i am a little freak and i basically am down to date 90% of my friends#But i got told by Oliver that it could be i act that way bc i dont want to be abandoned/left so im willing to compromise however they want#Me to... So talked about that with him and yep. We finally got into the whole... 'what are we' business. Or well kinda not directly#He said he didn't want to bring it up but we basically are on the subject so... And how hes worried that i will think too much about him#'i worry the more time we spend together the more your life will revolve around me and you'll value me so much more than i do you'#'it doesnt seem fair to you so ive occasionally not talked with you because i worry about that. You're a great friend but I know how much#You think about people. And im worried if you think about me too much you'll develop feelings or I'll mean more to you than before' i... He#Isnt wrong? Thats kinda how i work. The more people prioritize me the more ill value them and cherish them? But also... Idk if he understod#That i dont actively think about kissing or dating my friends? Its just a thing i know that if anyone asked I'd be down for it. But i dont#Daydream about it or anything. But then again he said some cryptic fabian shit like 'i dont have anyone else to compare with so i assume#What we have is normal. I sometimes want to cross the line to see where i still stand with you after doing it' like bro... Im so sorry i am#I am so far from 'normal' and him having me as his biggest both friend and female/woman in his life is probably such a mess i am crying#Me: ok then cross the line and see how you feel. 'but thats the problem. You dont have a line you're so open and down with everything you#Dont really react badly' I know i... Probably am making things hard for him sometimes but this was an holy shit moment /: hes worried to#Spend too much time with me bc of how i can potentially feel? Meanwhile I'm basically 80%+ of all his social interactions 😭 at one hand i#Appreciate him thinking of me and worry i guess but... Yeah. I told him: listen Fabian. My life does not revolve around you and youre not#The only one i think about. You are safe.' his and mine relationship is my favorite but also i definitely worry bc i know how much what we#Have or talk about or act is his... Only reference for girls basically. I mean outside his mom. He's not had any other girl friends and no#Actual girlfriend. So his reference to whats... Okay and appropriate is basically dictated by me and im seeing that very clear now im kinda#Afraid. Like... Im not normal on any level. If he's basing his view on women on me hes going to have an awful time truly... Idk if i should#Be offended or flattered that he thinks he's the center of my world 😭 like hes not completely wrong. I talk with him multiple times per#Week. But i can also say hes not all i think about at all waking hours lol. I obviously love him and care so much about him but im not#In love with him. Not as far as i know anyway. I dont think of him how i do people i have crushes on for example so yeaah. It bothers me#More that he couldn't just say 'im not into you' bc thats fine. He added the whole element of 'im not sure' like buddy now im going to be#Anxious about that in the future. I guess he have no reference to crushes so he cant tell but like... How do you want me to act so you can#Tell? I want an solid answer putting in an maybe is cruel even to me. This is funny bc tbh i dont even know if i would be able to date him#Even if he said he wanted to. Bc i know his biggest wish is to be a dad and i have nog fully embraced that idea even /: 'i can feel how ego#Centered i am. Assuming im the center of your world like that' at least youre self aware sweetie. Sounded like he was at peace with all we#Said and im here like... Binch there's so much to think about i wish i could read your mind i need more information to understand all this
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Forgive me, thought not complete, need more tags
#If Im anything Im really..... haunted by my dad if Im honest#Bout how much of him and his ways lives on#About how the old Warner Jukes ways of talking to your kids come out of my sisters mouth when shes stressed shes tired shes hurting#About how I sometimes fear that my first reaction to a teenager talking back#Is that my father would have slapped you across the face and actuallt feeling my hand itch to do it#And I think about the addiction problems all of us cope with and Michael got crushed by#And it's just#So hard to get around his influence its in everything#And I wonder sometimes if ill ever not feel like I inherited all his darkness#Told you thoughts were emo but like#Theres no escaping it#But then I call him and he NOW tells me that Im so smart and bright and can do anything#Words HE never would have said in a million years five ten years ago#He called me the family disappointment after all#And Im just#I dunno I have a lot kf feelings about the like#Mutability of fate#Of what its like to be your father's son#Of what its like to try to stop this generational bullshit and think like me#And how even the worst people are capable of change too#So like#Its a lot#I dunno why Im dumping this#Other than that I like#Answered the question in a wordy way and have a lot of feelings about this#Sorry#Nobody has to read my emo shit after all#I wouldnt want people to have to#Long tags are long
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