#i hate this it really sucks.
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#i just want this whole thing to be over#i know its mean to push him away like this#but the way our relationship was going. i was just so uncomfortable with the whole thing#i feel so awful because i know im the only person he really has to talk to#but i cant be that for him#its too much#it isnt fair to either of us if things stay they way they were#i still want to be friends but. not in the way he wants. i really cant be that close with someone ive only known a few months#it just doesnt work that way for me#i feel so awful for doing this but theres nothing i can do that would make anything any vetter#i really cant describe how uncomfortable the whole situation made me feel.#it sounds horrible and a bit ridiculous but being that close with him made me feel so shitty.#i hate this it really sucks.#vent#sorry ive been posting so much about this its just. a whole thing right now.#ill delete this later but right now im gonna go watch a movie and probably cry
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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this year I will become a powerful lesbian
#by the way this post is honestly kinda stressing me out because I'm trans and not everyone thinks m->f trans people can be lesbians so I'm#kinda nervous I may attract some hate from this which really sucks
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I finally watched breaking bad (all within the past week or so while I worked, finished it and watched el camino last night) and I'm confident this isn't a new thought I'm expressing or anything but genuinely how DID an entire generation of dudes convince themselves Walter White was cool and admirable and intended to be sympathetic. I know ppl just lack media literacy sometimes but I'm still so confused
I don't think I've EVER watched a piece of media that so blatantly depicts a guy making the worst possible decisions at every turn and having his life ruined for it and not being redeemed or made sympathetic in any significant or lasting way. the kinds of justifications villains USUALLY give that make people consider them "morally grey" or "tragic" or whatever (everything I did was for my loved ones, I did what I had to to survive, once I was in this I couldn't get out, I just needed you to trust me so I could keep you safe, etc etc) is ALWAYS framed as complete self-serving bullshit when Walt says it, and one of the only shreds of personal growth he ever exhibits in the whole series is when he finally fucking admits that. every time he does something even remotely cool or drops a quotable one-liner, something terrible immediately happens that makes everything worse and makes him look like an unreasonable idiot asshole again. by the end of the series the ONLY characters they can still contrast as being morally "worse" than him are literally a bunch of bloodthirsty neonazis who kept a guy in a cage for several months. this show is practically SCREAMING at you the entire time not to admire Walt. why did every dude I knew in highschool have his face on tshirts and Facebook pfps.
I just don't get it. at least with The Dark Knight's Joker it was like, a feature-length movie and that's it. you spend a lot less time with the Joker and it has a lot less time to delve into his motivations, so there's way more room for flanderization and misinterpretation as people extrapolate the few cool/interesting/sad things they saw into a whole nuanced misunderstood guy in their heads and online. Walter White has 5 seasons' worth of 45min episodes to convince you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a miserable fucking loser who ruins everything he touches because of greed and selfishness. if you weren't watching it for that, what WERE you getting out of this. what DID you think this show was about. am I just missing some key piece of context from 2012 or whatever that would help me understand this
#buny text#breaking bad#also I'm vaguely aware there was a big movement of fans who blamed everything on his wife and said she was the worst#which like. obvious misogyny from the primary audience of teen boys and young men aside#she's not really worse than any of the other adult characters?? she sucks real bad in the first couple seasons but so does everyone else#half the point of having all these characters be so shitty and rigid and unwilling to grow or accommodate others is so that#they can serve as landmarks to show how rapidly walt is abandoning his morals and spiraling into self-justification as the series goes on#the people you hate in season 1 are largely people you sympathize with in season 4 and 5 because compared to walt they're saints#idk. it's just weird having grown up around the fan culture for this show for the past decade or so and then finally watching it#and just being completely baffled now that i know what they were responding to
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ill give you just a morsel of fnaf 2015 fnaf aesthetic i miss you.. can we bring it back
#this reminded me how much i hate drawing springtrap#smh#i tried to capture the old vibes of how people drew him#thoguh i didnt give him emo bangs so#i didnt get the full effect#i did feel nostalgic drawing this#i really miss the old days#fnaf what happened to you why do you suck now :(#fnaf#springtrap
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I'm still having troubles with my job, so I would appreciate you buying my prints/or coffee or supporting me on Patreon 🫣
#signal boost#the witcher#geralt of rivia#witcher#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bloodborne#dnd#dungeons and dragons#the elder scrolls#oblivion#my art#i fucking hate being in the situation i am right now#and that i can't do a thing about it#being a migrant really sucks sometimes
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do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great
i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually
#ramble#yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am#and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.#drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks#i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me#one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know#i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary#some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier#and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless#signs that i should go to bed ^^^^#i will resume my pity party tomorrow
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I was gonna wait and post these till I had more doodles but I’ll just post them now it’s fine. I’ll just explain stuff in the tags as per usual
Some Raz poses and some Dion and Adam stuff
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(Please do not use or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me thank you)
#deersart#my art#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#razputin aquato#psychonauts razputin#psychonauts raz#dion aquato#Psychonauts dion#adam joseph gette#Psychonauts Adam#this isn’t intended to be ship art of Dion and Adam#not in this instance#i just love Adam basically being Raz’s third brother figure#Lizzie and Gisu are there in a tiny tiny doodle so I won’t tag them but they’re there#i continue to draw Raz in a bunch of little outfits#if he’s not careful he’s gonna get a heatstroke wearing all that thick clothing and doing a bunch of physical activity#i wouldn’t say Adam and Dion would hate eachother. neutral on both ends I think#but since they both know Raz and Gisu I can imagine they’d be in the same circle and hangout everyonce in while#even if it’s not together#although maybe they’d be really chill friends#idk#it’s fun to think about#adams my favorite intern#let me know if you think there’s something else I should tag#I’d have more doodles but I got sucked into a game
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Fashion days of late
#Really been vibing with my outfits hehe#an art#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#ibuki mioda#mikan tsumiki#Tsumioda#Band aid#Sucks for everyone else that I hate taking pics of myself because those fits were cute#Ibuk8 had little rainbow freckles plz note. it was my pride outfit!
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Huevember: Day 3 - Amber Stalker 👁️🌲🌟
#huevember#huevember 2024#fanart#art#digital art#artist on tumblr#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#bill cipher#dipper pines#mabel pines#dipper and mabel#waddles#i am stepping so far out of my comfort zone with doing backgrounds i never ever do backgrounds they scare me#but i do really want to learn them#and i have to accept that in the process of learning something i am going to have to suck at it :)#i don't hate how this came out though#things i could have done better but opted to push forward and just get it done#improving my speed was another reason why i decided to do this so#rambling now :(#I FREAKIN FORGOR TO TITLE THIS
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hi im back
#i didnt go anywhere i just got really lazy#as it turns out doing two art months back to back is not good for your spirit#you dont get to see the other one go fuck yourself#anyways back to your regularly scheduled murder drones stuff#btw if you steal my stuff again then you s Prepare.#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones v kinda#murder drones cyn#murder drones tessa#combining like 12 seperate headcanons into “tessa wanted to matchmake them but she sucks at matchmaking”#nobody here is good at romancing. cyn doesnt even know what a romance is#art#im so bad at posing i hate that fucking second panel i might go and redo it entirely cause looking at it makes me boil
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Indie ttrpg designers
We seem to be back in the “dnd sucks why don’t you just play Other Games (yours)” and I have a single question for you in return
Do I get to roll a d20?
Because I like the d20
That shape pleases me
I do not wish to roll a random amount of d6s or d8s or any of them other fuckers
I wish to roll the d20 because icosahedrons please me
I will also accept d12 but the other shapes all have less mouthfeel so if that’s what your game’s based on, it is not for me
I’d also prefer more than four stats but I’m not gonna lie it is the shape of the math rocks so like
Rec your d20 based indie ttrpgs friends cuz every single one I’ve opened is them little cube fuckers or the double pyramid and I Require Round
#ttrpg#dnd#so many people so close to super good points about the problems with dnd#and then they go ‘and as an indie designer you should just play Other Games (mine)’#and like. it’s a good point. it also very clearly underlines that you’re marketing via negativity and i’d actually really rather just hear#how good your game is? complaining is not an access point to my wallet#for real tho rec list this shit#indie ttrpg#i have Math Rock Requirements and also i hate d10s for no discernable reason#i don’t like the rest as much but d10s man. i just. i hate em#they are Bad Shape#skinny tutu bitches#not even good for caltrops#xoxo fuck you d10s#i get the math for probability and shit is easier on smaller dice but have you considered:#d20 shape good#and also d20 easily maths into 100 for percent calculations#which is why it’s weird i hate d10s they’re the only other dice that don’t Fucking Suck to calculate percents from#i know a 13 on a d20 is 65% bad#the fuck is a 5 on a d8#(it’s 62.5 but that’s my point fuck decimals)
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Remembering Vi - S2EP7
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#jinx#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#arcane ekko#timebomb#arcane vi#vi arcane#arcane screenshots#screenshots#ima be sappy which i dont do n hide it in the back but i started to a get abit sad taking these screenshots#i kinda know how this feels loosing someoone sibling figure or a little older and thinking of it sucks man like really#its such an odd feeling to describe especially when you get to their age and pass em#but they still a kid u know in the past#i gotta stop b4 i get more sad man i just hate it
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#sir crocodile#dracule mihawk#one piece#crochawk#my art#bottom pic is from... december#its so unfinished uh and the knife sucks#ive hated digitally painting in for years.. i just couldn't get used to it. but i wanted to try#idk if these even count as “painted” lol but i'm really used to either shading through linework or just flat cell colours#hope i can improve
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Every letter addressed to Jonah Magnus just sounds like several men of good high standing who he’s tricked into giving him their knowledge money and affections realizing that they’ve fallen for a succubus but they can’t find it in them to hate him too hard- like do you know what I mean??? I know it’s just the old timey way of speaking but every statement just sounds like “please my evil twink, I beseech you!” Like this is why I can only imagine him as like very Dorian Gray-esque in my head. Please someone tell me I’m not crazy for thinking this that’s literally their evil bbg that’s sucked them for all they’re worth and thrown em away
#I may only be thinking about a select few but these are all the ones that I remember#bear with me it’s been a while since I’ve finished tma#I’m thinking about Jonathan Fanshawe going I hate you never speak to me again I’m filing a restraining order#all the best and your loyal loving servant I miss you already bbg Jonathan 😔#Peter there is a long line of bodies before you#I mean that literally#boi really sucked the life outta em#and watched#thought about this real hard while brushing my teeth#tma podcast#tma#tma shitpost#the magnus archives#jonah magnus#elias bouchard
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Finally settled on designs for the springlocks im actually okay with
#knife's art#digital art#hey. sam&max reference jumpscares you#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#spring bonnie#fredbear#idk if i should tag as fredbear or golden freddy.. idk i never gave too much of a shit abt the lore and minor character differences whateve#still not really pleased but i dont hate it. whatever#designing freddy and crew is going to SUCK i spent so much time just figuring out these two#cw blood
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