#Sometimes you have to learn and improve things about yourself and that's not bad

[iys-cloud]

this specially is so important, because you can't expect for the world to change and twist to fit all Your emotion responses, somethings just aren't good for the people around you and maybe even for yourself and yea your emotions are valid but so are those of the people around you, and just like they have to accept your emotions and take care of special things you for you, you have to do the same for them

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[theambitiouswoman]

Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Become The Best Version of Yourself

What do I really care about? What things are really important to me?

What am I good at, and where do I need help? What am I strong in, and what could I get better at?

What do I want to achieve soon and later? What things do I want to do soon, and what are my bigger, long-term goals?

Am I trying new things and not just staying comfy? Am I doing things that might be a bit scary but good for me?

How do I deal with problems and when things go wrong? What do I do when stuff doesn't work out?

Am I nice to myself when things don't go well? Do I treat myself kindly, especially when things are tough?

How do I use my time, and what's most important? How do I plan my day, and what things matter the most?

Am I learning new stuff regularly? Do I keep finding out new things?

Do I have a good balance between work and fun? Do I make sure to have enough time for work and for things I enjoy?

Do I have good friendships and avoid bad ones? Am I friends with people who make me feel good?

Do I take care of my body? Am I eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough?

Do I think about my feelings and thoughts? Do I pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking?

How do I deal with stress and make myself calm? What do I do when I'm stressed out?

Do I help others and make the world better? Do I do things to make people's lives nicer?

Do I have good habits and get rid of bad ones? Are there things I do every day that are good for me? Are there things I should stop doing?

Do I learn from what people say about me? When people give me advice, do I listen and try to get better?

Do I say no when I need to? Do I tell people when I need space or when something isn't okay for me?

What makes me really happy? What do I like to do that makes me feel great?

Do I use money wisely? Am I good at saving and spending money in smart ways?

Do I believe I can improve and get better? When things are tough, do I think I can get through them and learn something?Am I being kind to others and making them feel good? Do I treat people nicely and make them happy?

Do I learn from things I do wrong? When I make a mistake, do I figure out how to do better next time?

Do I try new things, even if they scare me a little? Do I give things a shot, even if they seem a bit scary?

Am I spending time with people who care about me? Do I hang out with folks who like me for who I am?

Do I eat healthy foods and move my body? Am I eating good stuff and getting some exercise?

Am I sharing and helping others when I can? Do I give stuff to others and lend a hand when I'm able to?

Am I paying attention when people talk to me? Do I really listen when others are speaking to me?

Do I take breaks and do things I enjoy? Do I give myself time to rest and do things I like?

Do I say sorry and make up if I hurt someone? When I make someone feel bad, do I apologize and try to make things better?

Do I imagine good things for myself in the future? Do I think about cool stuff I want to do?

Do I stop and relax when I'm feeling stressed? When I'm worried, do I take a moment to calm down?

Do I ask for help when I need it? Do I tell someone when I can't do something on my own?

Do I try my best, even when things are tricky? Even if it's hard, do I give it my all?

Do I pick up after myself and keep things tidy? Am I good at cleaning up and keeping things in order?

Do I use my time for things that matter most? Do I do important stuff before other things?

Do I think about good things that happened today? Do I remember all the nice things that occurred?

Am I okay with making mistakes and learning from them? Do I know it's okay to mess up sometimes and learn from it?

Do I show appreciation for the people around me? Do I let others know I'm thankful for them?

Do I take deep breaths and relax when I'm upset? When I'm mad, do I breathe and try to calm down?

Do I believe I can do better and keep growing? Do I think I can get better at things and keep getting smarter?

Am I happy with who I am right now? Do I like myself just as I am?

Do I feel okay when things don't go as planned? When stuff doesn't work out, do I stay calm?

Do I think about good things about myself? Do I focus on the nice parts of me?

Do I let go of things that make me sad? When something makes me upset, can I move on from it?

Do I notice when I'm feeling worried or scared? Am I aware of when I'm feeling nervous or frightened?

Do I believe I can do things even if they're tough? Can I do hard things if I try?

Do I try to make my mind peaceful? Do I relax my thoughts when they're racing?

Do I find things that make me feel relaxed? What can I do to feel calm and at ease?

Am I patient when things take time? Can I wait without getting upset?

Do I talk kindly to myself in my head? Do I say nice things to myself in my mind?

Am I curious about things and want to learn? Do I like to find out new stuff?

Do I think about good times and happy memories? Do I remember fun things that happened before?

Do I try to understand how others feel? Can I tell what others are feeling?

Do I imagine nice things happening in the future? Can I think about good stuff that might come?

Do I take time to rest and be by myself? Do I give myself breaks and quiet time?

Do I let go of things I can't change? Can I forget about things I can't do anything about?

Do I believe I can do things even if I don't know how yet? Do I think I can learn new things?

Do I tell myself I'm doing a good job? Do I give myself a pat on the back?

Do I stay calm even if things are really busy? Can I be relaxed even when things are crazy?

Do I know that I can make mistakes and it's okay? Do I understand that everyone messes up sometimes?

[kitorin]

in which, itoshi rin expresses his love for you in, peculiar ways.

itoshi rin is wearily watching his opponent's highlights when you tug on the sleeve of his hoodie.

he almost rips his earbud out by the wire, contrariwise to the soft gaze he gives you, the slight tilt of his head accompanied by a quiet hum asks you what's wrong.

"were you busy? i can ask later."

"'course not." without hesitation he turns his phone off and tosses it somewhere onto his bed. "something wrong?"

you lean against the coffee table, where the two of you were studying; match analysis for rin and unfortunately an infuriating research task for your upcoming exam. your chin rests on both your palms, fingers cupping your own cheek.

"what's your favourite thing about me?"

owlishly, he stares, then blinks. you mimic his actions, waiting for a response.

"i have to pick?"

you nod eagerly. "it feels like a while since i've properly spoken to you. we don't have any classes together and i've been studying during break times. and i keep falling asleep on the bus."

rin nods with understanding. "then my favourite thing about you is that."

"is what?"

"i love watching you sleep."

it takes a lot not to make a stupefied face.

of all answers you expected, it was clearly not that. rin's love languages centred around quality time and physical touch, but he's still fully capable of uttering sweet nothings. which was something you were desperately craving at the moment.

"rin that's so creepy—"

his typical stoicism melts away into bewilderment. "it is?"

oh my god, did your boyfriend have some sort of strange fetish?

"i don't get it." rin frowns. "it's been making me happy recently, why's it so bad?"

"but why's that?"

lithe fingers brush a few strands of hair behind your ears. "you're always so tired recently, it makes me feel at peace seeing you rest. i'm relieved knowing that you're getting a proper break." his aquamarine irises avoid eye contact, pink dusting his cheeks. "i like having you close to me, too."

guilt permeates your gut for having such assumptions. "sorry for assuming the worst, love." your hand cups his, bringing it to your lips for a kiss. "i'm just busy, with exams and stuff, y'know?"

"i know, and i get that. but i don't like the possibility of you collapsing from not sleeping enough, or burning out. and you deserve to sleep and eat properly, they're important for learning and improvement too."

and rin's right, it just feels as though there's not enough time, with so many exams being stuffed into such a little period. there's the fear of failing, falling behind peers and all the efforts you've put in amounting to nothing because of a mistake.

but as he said, rest is important, just as much as working hard. success cannot be attain with one without the other.

you settle yourself onto rin's lap, resting your head on his shoulder, and back against his chest, placing a small kiss on his cheek. "thanks for reminding me, i'm done for today. let's make the most of tonight."

he responds with a small smile, and wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into your neck.

"i must be really pretty then, if watching me sleep is that enjoyable." you throw out an attempt of teasing him, waiting for his reaction.

"nah. your face kinda squishes up on my shoulder."

"wow. okay. i see—"

"your neck also ends up in the weirdest positions so i usually have to move you around to make sure you don't have too much neck pain later."

"very sweet of you, that's enough though."

"did i mention you drool sometimes too?"

"rin—"

taglist (send ask to be added) : @yuzurins , @pokkomi , @chigirizzz

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Astrology Observations 08/18/2024

 

Your Moon Sign and What’s Holding You Back

 

 

Aries Moon: Your ego holds you back in this lifetime. For you, Aries Moon, you have to learn to let things go and stop always trying to be right and to always overpower someone. Your power is within you, not over anyone else. It’s okay if people do not like your way of being, but stop convincing others of your worth. Again, this should be intrinsic to you and shouldn’t have to be proved. Lastly, just because you get attention doesn’t mean it’s good attention. Try to discern who is really for you and who is pulling energy from you.

 

Taurus Moon: You, Taurus Moon, need to break out of your routine. You guys think your lives are perfect because you think your routine is grounding you, when it’s actually holding you back. You guys are so particular about so many things in your lives that it’s overwhelming for you guys to ever see the bigger picture of life, and most of you get stuck in your routine, dead-end jobs, or living in places you don’t actually like. You guys always try to act like you can improve where you’re at, but your fear is losing what you know because the unknown is so scary. It can hold you back because you are such a perfectionist, and when you can’t live up to your own standards, you give up.

 

Gemini Moon: You guys let indecision hold you back. You guys think too much about decisions and weigh the pros and cons. You try to do things that will benefit your life, but often you guys let this need to have everything a certain way in your life hold you back from making decisions from your heart. You guys skip all over your emotions and act like everything has to be logically coded in order for it to serve a purpose in your life. That’s why it’s so easy for you guys to have such a strong ego towards what you view as right because you believe everything you do is right and makes sense. If you guys could only see that your emotions are important, you wouldn’t struggle so much with making decisions, nor would you always be focused on doing and being right.

 

Cancer Moon: What holds you back? The Cancer Moon is keeping everything inside of you. You sit and brood over everything and constantly spend time introspecting. You essentially drown yourself in your emotions and judge yourself too harshly for all that you’ve done. You spend too much of your time dwelling and, at times, even fantasizing about the past. You can drive yourself insane by piecing all the little parts of your life together and psychoanalyzing every move. Give yourself time to breathe and not be trapped in the confines of psychoanalysis.

 

Leo Moon: What holds you back? Leo Moon is your recklessness. Yes, seldom do you realize that life’s pleasures are not meant to be used every time you feel a negative emotion. Constantly trying to do something is what causes you to crash out. You often venture off and find yourself in bigger troubles and struggles than to begin with. You oftentimes find yourself believing in what you desire too much, and you can find yourself held back when challenges and obstacles come up, which makes you want to abandon your true goals. You want an easy life, and sometimes, as much as you’re ready for something, you’re just as ready to abandon it.

 

Virgo Moon: You’re held back by your pessimism and negativity. Yes, you are the kind of person who is straightforward, but oftentimes you, Virgo Moon, have black-and-white thinking. When things go wrong or bad in your life, you can’t see out of it and often cage yourself in this negativity, thinking that it is the basis of your reality. This essentially makes it so that you live a very sad and depressing life and use work, school, responsibilities, and drugs as the main form of living, which drains you of all your wonderful energy to give.

 

Libra Moon: Oftentimes, Libra Moon feels out of place and is around the wrong people. The issue is that you guys stay in rooms and places you’re not valued and wanted in, but you rationalize it. You rationalize too much, to the point where you don’t even understand what is truly going on. You stay in relationships, friendships, organizations, and jobs where you do not flourish. You let your head get in the way of great opportunities for your unique self to truly shine.

 

Scorpio Moon: You let your laziness hold you back. Yes, I said it. Although Scorpio’s are known to have tenacity, Scorpio moon often spends most of their time trying to escape reality rather than actually working to get better. It’s like instead of staying in reality, you guys retreat. Oftentimes, you guys will go to yourself so you don’t have to deal with the harsh realities; you’ll block out the world's noise, escaping with music, your hobbies, your phone, drugs, and alcohol. If you have a partner, you will use your partner to escape. You guys get super lazy, and then nothing changes in your life.

 

Sagittarius Moon: You guys let your impulsivity hold you back. Oftentimes, you guys don’t understand that your actions have long-term consequences and have such short sight of everything. You will make decisions that, in a couple of hours, you’ll be so upset and mad that you will impulsively do something just for it to make things even worse and harder for you in the future. Your short-term pleasure just turns into a hassle or headache. Sometimes you say things purely out of anger that ruin your relationships. You can dampen a lot of your life with these spontaneous decisions. It bites you in the butt, but you can’t stop yourself from thinking short-term. Your impulse control can be low and can hold you back in life.

 

Capricorn Moon: Capricorn Moon, you struggle to realize life outside of your fixated mind of success, so when things don’t happen the way you intend, you often give up and settle in life. The biggest thing that holds you back is your own standards, which can sometimes keep you complacent or so high that you just give up and settle in life. Also, there is a lazy streak in you that thinks that hard work is above you, so you try to shortcut your way to your goals only to be knocked on your ass time and time again. It can be hard for you to want to do the work to achieve your goals, so it’s easier for you to settle with what you can do or that’s doable.

 

Aquarius Moon: What holds you back in this lifetime is your ability to do a lot, and so that makes it hard for you to ever get to the action part. You are great at coming up with ideas but struggle to follow through. You can build an empire in your mind, but struggle with the patience to make the plans and to go through the stages. For you, you often become too dependent on others to do the work, which means a lot of your plans require the right people, who you often don’t have around you. You struggle to find your way to getting what you want because those you depend on aren’t aligned with you and your desires. It’s best to rethink your plans or your people.

 

Pisces Moon: What holds you back are your roots and your attachment to them, as you find it hard to stray from home. You can become too involved with nurturing those around you and never focus on yourself. Always helping family, friends, and others. You can also become so bogged down by always being there for others that you retreat and spend a lot of time at home trying to nurture yourself back to life, only to overextend yourself all over again. Your biggest holdback is your roots and how hard it is for you to move on from the past and propel yourself forward.

 

Your Mars Sign and your Attitude

Aries Mars: Always ready to argue or fight attitude

Taurus Mars: Your way or the highway attitude

Gemini Mars: Always playing devils advocate attitude

Cancer Mars: Petty as ever attitude

Leo Mars: Alpha male/woman attitude

Virgo Mars: Condescending attitude

Libra Mars: Always irritated attitude

Scorpio Mars: Makes you feel stupid attitude

Sagittarius Mars: Tell it like it is attitude

Capricorn Mars: Mean attitude

Aquarius Mars: superiority complex attitude

Pisces Mars: Victim attitude

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

Improving Your Relationship With Food And Movement

Hey babesss I have improved my relationship with food and exercise these past few months. It was hard because I had to break down a lot of negative feelings and thoughts I had built around certain foods. I started yo-yo dieting and restrictive eating when I was 10 years old and it has had a lot of negative effects on my body not just physically, and mentally, but socially as well. These tips have changed my life and I hope they help you as well<3333

Signs you have a negative relationship with food.

♡ You think of food all the time. You think about what you're going to eat next and overthink your meals, and the calorie counts.

♡ Feeling guilt over your food choices. Whenever you eat something that might not fit into your “diet” you feel guilty and say negative things about yourself or “punish” yourself by excessive exercise or extreme restrictive eating. 

♡ You must earn your meals. This ties into the previous sign, you feel like you have to earn your meals through exercise and restrictions.

♡ You binge eat. Binge eating is having a large amount of food in a short period, accompanied by feelings of loss of control.

♡ You ignore hunger cues. You feel the urge to eat but don't allow yourself to because of a certain diet or restrictive eating.

♡ You can’t keep your favorite foods in the house. You can’t control yourself around your favorite foods due to going a long time without them because of restrictions.

♡ You emotionally eat. Using food to comfort you is okay sometimes BUT it becomes a problem when you turn to food constantly whenever something bad happens and causes negative emotions.

♡ It is stressful going out to eat. You can’t enjoy yourself at restaurants or turn down invites to restaurants or events because you are overwhelmed by the idea of food and calories.

♡ You’re stuck in a diet culture mentality. It is okay to want to lose or gain weight and get into a healthier body but you can do this without restrictive eating. 

♡ Your body dictates your food intake. If you are bloated you eat little or skip a meal altogether.

Signs you have a negative relationship with exercise.

♡ You use exercise as a punishment. Whenever you overeat or feel like you have you make yourself exercise for long periods.

♡ You feel guilty when you miss a workout. As women sometimes we can’t work out the way we want to because of our menstrual cycle and you need a break and it is okay to take a break.

♡ You exercise even if you're injured. Rest days are okay working out through injuries only makes injuries worse.

♡ You do workouts you don't like. You're focused on burning calories and not the enjoyment you feel when working out.

♡ Affecting your social life. You might excessively work out to the point you're missing events and invites to work out.

Tips to improve your relationship with food. 

♡ Learn about nutrition. A lot of us are uneducated on nutrition and how we should be eating to prevent excessive weight gain and malnutrition I will recommend a lot of books below to start your education on nutrition.

♡ Practice mindful eating. Slow down and become aware of what is happening to your body when you eat certain foods, and your hunger cues, and don’t make any judgments. Eat foods without distractions such as TV, books, and phones. Take your time to chew and taste your foods. Mindless eating is eating without control or out of boredom.

♡ Stop labeling foods. We tend to use the words “good” and “bad” when talking about foods. However, labeling foods can harm your relationship with foods. Welcome all food groups into your diet. Making food decisions shouldn't make you feel like a bad person or a good person. 

♡ Find enjoyment in food. Focus on enjoying food and the pleasures that come with preparing and enjoying food with others.

♡ Allow yourself to eat the foods you enjoy. It is okay to eat foods you enjoy in moderation, 

♡ Challenge negative self-talk. The way we speak to ourselves regarding food and diet can affect the way we view foods challenge those thoughts with positive thoughts when they come I recommend reading this blog post about your mental diet by @arielsreality

Tips to improve your relationship with exercise.

♡ Create your own vision of fitness. Everyone has different body goals and what they want to look like the media pushes an image not all of us want to fit into. So create a vision for what you want to look like.

♡ Try different forms of exercise. Try different types of exercise. If you don't like cardio, try weight lifting. If you don't like weightlifting, try pilates. There are many options to choose from, so give them a try. Do what feels right and brings you joy.

♡ Listen to your body. If your body is sore, skip a day and walk instead of lifting weights. Listening to our bodies is super important ignoring pain cues is very harmful.

♡ Embrace rest. Sleep is our best friend getting the right amount of sleep every night is what helps our glow-up journey over all. Taking rest days is super important as well.

♡ Understand your body changes. Your body at 12 is not your body now and that is a beautiful thing. We especially as women go through a lot of bodily changes so we have to let go of society's expectations of how our bodies should be and look like what do you want your body to look like? And how can you get there? 

♡ Follow women who look like you. Follow women with similar body types like yours. I have a Pinterest of women who have similar body types to mine labeled “Your body is beautiful” I look at it if I need reminders when feeling insecure. I follow a lot of black women on many platforms as a black woman because I like to see women who look like me in positions of success and wealth it motivates me. 

♡ Celebrate non-scale victories. Maybe instead of being stuck on the number on the scale, you tried those jeans that couldn’t fit before but now they are so comfortable. That is something to celebrate!

Book Recommendations 

♡ The Binge Code by Alison C Kerr

♡ Women Food And Hormones by Sara Gottfried

♡ The Food Therapist by Shira Lenchewski MS RD

♡ The Good Gut by Justin Sonnenburg

♡ Feed Yourself by Leslie Schilling 

♡ Reclaiming Body Trust by Hilary Kinavey MS LPC 

♡ The Food Mood Connection by Dr Uma Naidoo

[eowynstwin]

Blackbird, Fly - Two

Cowboy Gaz x mail order bride—only, not his. After exchanging letters for half a year with ranching man Hans König, you finally travel out west to marry him. - It becomes clear to you that something is bothering him—perhaps it has something to do with you. - ao3

previous

Kyle Garrick—who instructs you to call him Gaz, explaining it as a nickname—drives you out of town in a two-horse wagon. The countryside is dyed in pastels by the softening light of a just-setting sun, every bit as beautiful as Hans had written when he told you about it.

Like a painting, he said. Everywhere you look could be framed in gold. I wake up every day in this land and thank God I have the fortune to live in it.

Here now, as the wagon rattles down the wheel-carved trail, you understand his words. You feel that if you brushed your fingers against the sky overhead, towering with lavender-bottomed clouds as thick and soft as cotton on the stem, that they might come away smeared in blue and pink and violet. The surrounding landscape is a cornucopia of vibrant greens, rich browns of trees and soil, and clusters of orange, yellow, and white wildflowers.

You keep looking all around you to take it in, jostling your driver beside you, but Gaz seems not to mind. At least, he doesn’t say anything.

You’ve been trying not to feel so aware of his presence, but the endeavor is impossible. He is a solid weight beside you on the driver’s seat, exuding warmth where your shoulders brush against each other, and the earthy, masculine scent of him is inescapable. Every time his elbow or knee or thigh nudges yours during the natural sway and jostle of the wagon ride, you have to keep yourself from leaping out of your skin. Ever since you stepped foot off the train, you’ve felt like a lightning rod set out in anticipation of a storm.

You ascribe it to displaced longing for your husband-to-be. You’d spent the whole journey west imagining how you’d meet, longing for the moment he took you into his arms for the first time. Gaz is a handsome man—it’s only natural that your unfulfilled anticipation would transfer onto him. Especially considering he said you were perfect.

But then said very little after that. He’d seemed—well, not friendly, but at least amicable on the train platform, so you wonder if your manners have offended somehow. He’s spent most of the drive now with his eyes ahead, partly obscured by the brim of his hat. Occasionally he glances at the letters in your hand, but otherwise does not acknowledge you.

After one such glance, your discomfort with the silence becomes too much to bear.

“I read my favorites every night,” you tell him.

If Gaz is surprised when you break the silence, he doesn’t show it. “That so,” he murmurs.

All you have is his profile, very handsome in the light. The line of his mouth is taut.

“I know it’s silly,” you continue nervously—you have a bad habit of rambling when you’re uncomfortable. Adjusting your carpetbag in your lap, you go on, “but you must understand, this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. I never expected to marry, you see.”

He grunts.

“Much less to be a mail order bride,” you say. “I always thought I would be an old maid, for lack of available suitors if nothing else. Mama and Daddy thought I ought to learn to read and write, to improve my prospects, but most folks where I’m from don’t care much about all that.”

“I see,” replies Gaz. He still does not look at you.

“Sometimes I think it even made them like me less, like I was putting on airs, being smarter than them.” You realize immediately how arrogant you must sound. “Oh, but I don’t mean any offense! I don’t mean to suggest I have ideas above my station. It’s only just that, I wondered for years and years why no one offered for me, and it was the only thing I could think of. Why would a farmer’s daughter need to read and write? And why would a wife need to, if her duty is to tend to her children and her home? So that must be why no man has ever been very interested in me.”

You realize with horror that words are pouring out of you faster than you can keep up with them. And your driver’s attention has not shifted; his eyes remain on the road.

You look at your lap, face burning. “I’m sorry, I’m just annoying you, Mr. Garrick. I’m sorry.”

Shame grips you, tight and awkward. If you’d wanted to endear yourself to this cowboy at all, you’ve already failed.

But Gaz finally says, “Most men are idiots.” You look at him; he does not look at you. “I’ve only just met you, and I like you fine.”

He says it matter-of-factly, as if no more need saying on the subject. Simple and to the point; an economy of feeling you imagine must be characteristic of men in this part of the country.

Hans was like that too, in his letters. Communicating feeling without dancing around it, with a bluntness that ends up soft in its honesty.

It eases the tension frothing poisonous in your belly. “Thank you,” you say.

You ride in silence for a stretch. A cool breeze catches the free-floating ends of your hair, rustles along in the tall grass by the wayside. The steady thump thump thump of the horse’s hooves, and the creak of tackle and leather, are the only sounds populating the air.

Home was quiet like this, too; the fields stretching endless and green beneath the sky, the silence there so blank and open that birdcall traveled for miles, and the lowing of the family milk cow sounded sometimes like the trumpet of God.

You peek again at Kyle Garrick. There’s a furrow to his brow, the kind a man gets when he’s in a mood and won’t admit it if asked.

“I’m sorry,” you say again, quietly, because he made you feel better about things, and you’ve done little more than whine.

He finally looks at you, the edges of his face lined and glowing in the evening light. Studies you, for a moment. The furrow eases.

“No,” he says, “I’m sorry, Miss. I don’t mean to be short with you. I’m afraid manners are secondary on a ranch, without a good woman nearby to remind about ‘em.”

You give him a small smile. “Have you worked for Hans very long?”

He turns his gaze back to the road. “Six or seven years, now.”

You toy with the clasp of your bag; you’re brimming with questions. “Is he really all that tall?”

“Oh, yes,” Gaz says. “Like a giant.”

“What’s he like?”

Gaz gives a great breath through pursed, full lips. “Fair, I guess. Asks a lot of us—but then most bosses out here will. Worked for his father for a few years before him, too.”

“You must be a good hand then,” you say.

“I work hard,” says Gaz. “That’s all that matters.”

“I’m sure Hans is grateful,” you reply. “He must trust you very much, to send you for me.”

The furrow returns. “He must.”

It becomes clear to you that something is bothering him, and it’s nothing you will resolve between now and when you make it to the ranch. Perhaps it has something to do with you—a new face, an unknown quantity that threatens to knock the balance of his livelihood askew.

You sigh a little. Of course, you should have expected to have to win Hans’ people over. Their loyalty to the late Mrs. König will inevitably be challenged by your arrival.

Neither of you speak again—you decide not to push what little grace Kyle Garrick has given you, and he does not volunteer any more conversation. The rest of the ride is unremarkable, leaving room for anticipation to grow in your stomach; soon the wagon crests the slope of a hill, and your destination comes into view.

Long Mask Ranch sits at the base of a range of mountain foothills, fed and watered emerald green by spring runoff. You’ve been on Hans’ land for a while now; opening up before you is the ranch proper. A collection of buildings form a semicircle around a large corral in the valley: stables, a barn, some cabins, and a large two-story gabled manor, painted white.

The sun sinks further toward the horizon as you approach, painting the world in liquid orange. Figures resolve themselves, people moving tables and chairs around, and on the manor’s front porch, observing the proceedings, stands a tall man in a rancher’s coat and hat.

Lightning suddenly bolts through you. You sit very, very still as Gaz pulls the wagon through a cast iron archway adorned with LMR at the apogee. Your heart thrums in your throat like a picked guitar string. When you finally come to a stop, the man’s head turns to toward you.

At the worst possible moment, shyness grips you. You look around, at anywhere but him, at the house, the corral, the cowboy beside you.

You startle to meet Gaz’s eyes. The expression he wears is a mask of seriousness.

“This is it,” he says.

Your voice leaves your chest trembling. “Thank you, Mr. Garrick.”

“Just Gaz is fine, Miss.”

“I couldn’t possibly,” you reply. Propriety feels like the only solid thing to cling to just now.

He looks away. The line of his mouth tightens. “Of course,” he says.

He dismounts the wagon in one smooth motion, boots hitting the packed earth hard. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the tall man start his way over to you. Gaz rounds the back of the wagon, and you give your bag to him once he’s at your side. He offers his hand to help you down.

You’re dazed as you take it, lightheaded as suddenly the present moment becomes very, very real. It’s warm, his hand; rough in all the places you expect a cowboy’s hand to be. Yet there’s something soft in the way your palms meet, how the dips and contours align with each other and fit together. You’re shaking very hard as you ease your way from the seat, gripping him tightly until your feet meet the ground, and his grip circles yours with a solidness to it in a way unlike any man has ever held you.

You meet his eyes again when he hands you your bag. Gaz gives your hand a squeeze, averts his gaze, and lets you go.

“There she is!” an accented voice announces.

You pull your gaze from Kyle Garrick and the mystery of his tension with you, and turn to face your intended husband.

Hans König has loomed large in your imagination for half a year. He’d described to you what he looked like, of course, as best he could, but you find as you look upon his face that no written word can convey what it means to meet for the first time the man you will marry. You’d fallen in love with someone formless, absent, but inscribed in other ways with enough distinction to nurture your tender feelings.

Looking upon him now, though…his appearance offers nothing to that distinction. He’s neither ugly nor handsome. As he comes to stand before you, you think he rather looks like every other middle-aged man you’ve met in your short life, although certainly much taller. You meet his eyes—pale blue, as he’d related—and the rush of love you’d expected to feel, once you knew who he was, simply does not come.

This man is a stranger to you.

You reprimand yourself immediately. He isn’t a stranger. You’ve known him for six months. His face is simply not one you have attached any love to yet; the measure of his character is contained in the stack of paper in your hands. In the promises he made to you to make your quietest dreams come true.

So you smile the way you’d dreamed you would—like watching the sun crest the horizon after a long night of darkness, seeing the bounty of the near future coming toward you. Summoning joy by making room for it to exist.

“Hello, Hans,” you say, “it’s me.”

Hans König steps forward. He looms over you truly, now, eclipsing your vision. “It is you, indeed.”

Without another word, right there in front of Gaz, Hans grips your shoulders, bends down, and kisses you on the mouth.

Your brows shoot upward. It’s the first time anyone has ever kissed you. His lips are…hard, and motionless against yours. Almost perfunctory. You are so shocked he’s done it that you don’t think to respond, and then as suddenly as it happened, it’s over. He pulls away, pats your shoulders with a little smile, and then looks at Gaz.

“Get that wagon put away and then go help the others,” says Hans to the cowboy, slinging one arm around your shoulder.

Your brows lift further. Is that all he has to say to him, for delivering you safe and sound?

Gaz doesn’t seem to share your feelings. “Yes, sir,” is all he says, even and toneless.

But he looks between you and his employer for more than just the span of a heartbeat. Eyes going from him, to you, to the arm around your shoulders. Then he meets your gaze, expression stony.

If Gaz is wary of your presence here—if you’re going to win him over—the best time to start is now. “Thank you very much for seeing me here safely,” you say. “I was so glad of your company, Mr. Garrick.”

To your dismay, his expression only tightens. Gaz looks at Hans again, then back at you.

“You’re welcome, Miss,” he says.

Then he climbs back into the wagon, gives the reins a snap, and drives away.

-

next

a/n: fun fact, the ranch and neighboring town are based off Valentine and Emerald Ranch from rdr2 :) the ranch layout is more like Pronghorn Ranch however.

[tarotwithavi]

3 things you need to let go of in order manifest your dream life

1. Fear of Rejection

Do you realize that your fear of rejection is holding you back from doing so many things? Also why do you fear rejection ever thought about that? Yes we all fear something and rejection is a really scary word. Nobody likes rejection but the truth is the fear of rejection is what is holding us back and those who have let it go of this fear have achieved great things. Everybody is afraid of rejection so to say but what kind of rejection? Societal rejection that the society won't accept you for who you are, romantic rejection that your crush won't like you back or rejection from your own self? Why do you reject yourself? Why do you reject your thoughts? Why do you think that you are not capable of what you desire? This may not be a big thing but in order to evolve and grow you need to go through these questions and ask yourself why you fear rejection.

3 things to do to let go of this fear

Understanding Impermanence: Recognize that rejection is a part of life, and it doesn't define your worth. People's opinions and circumstances change, and rejection doesn't necessarily reflect a permanent state.

Focusing on Growth: Embrace rejection as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn from the experience, adapt, and use it as a stepping stone towards self-improvement.

Building Resilience: Develop resilience by realizing that not every rejection is a personal attack. Building a strong sense of self allows you to withstand setbacks and move forward with confidence.

2. Expectations

Sometimes you expect too much from people and from yourself too and when you cannot fulfill those expectations you feel upset. You have a great heart and there is no doubt about how pure and innocent your energy is. You do your best in everything you do, if you love someone you love them from all your heart and you will do everything for them. You expect others to do the same for you, expecting is not a bad thing but being upset over others not fulfilling YOUR expectations is not good. You need to let go of those expectations. And you don't have to live up to others expectations also. As a human we always expect others to do something for us or we just expect something in return. It's in our nature. You don't have to fulfill others' expectations and others don't have to fulfill yours. So you just need to let go of “expectations”.

Mindful Awareness: Be conscious of your expectations and question whether they are realistic. Sometimes, expectations can set you up for disappointment if they are too rigid or dependent on external factors.

Embracing Flexibility: Cultivate flexibility and openness to different outcomes. This doesn't mean lowering standards, but rather being adaptable to the twists and turns that life may bring.

Communicating Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations to others when appropriate. This reduces the chances of misunderstandings and aligns everyone involved.

3. Self-Doubt

We've all been there, right? Dealing with self-doubt is like a universal thing and is a common human experience. But, let's be real for a moment, when did we let that self-doubt become the boss of our lives? Like, where did it even come from? Because, let's face it, it's not like self-doubt runs in the family or is scribbled into our DNA. Nah, it's more about what others toss at us. I used to doubt myself and still do actually(sometimes). But hey, I'm putting in the work. The more I do, the clearer it gets why the wise ones always say, "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" It's like, do you, be you, and forget the noise from the peanut gallery.

Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and past successes to counteract self-doubt.

Setting Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. This allows you to build confidence gradually and see tangible progress.

Seeking Support: Share your concerns with trusted friends or a mentor. External perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement, helping you overcome self-doubt.

[cutiecutedoll]

my guide to wonyoungism, improve your life, glow up, be THAT girl:

🎀 have a routine: this is something I learned from being on therapy for so long. It is really important to have a routine because if not you can have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get bored easier, you won't be able to finish your responsabilities, it can bring you bad self esteem and in general is a complete mess.

🎀 work out: always do what's best for you and do what you feel comfortable doing but please! work! out! I'm such a lazy person and at some point it was really hard for me to have motivation to do anything, but once I put my mind into it, and force myself a bit and started with 10 mins of pilates everyday (since it was something easy to start with) my life and my self esteem improved a lot. Working out is another way to have schedules and a routine, also improves your self esteem by making you feel capable of doing stuff, and ofc is good for your body.

🎀 have a good skincare routine: first, do some research about your skin type and see what products can work better for you (you can also go to have a skincare treatment and ask the beautician or search on internet) but always do what's more comfortable and affordable for you, don't use stuff that influencers recommend bc you can alter you skin type based on the products you use too (as a beutician I know) Also don't DON'T do it everyday, some products can be used everyday like the cleanser but others not. As I said just do a good research. Besides skin stuff it's really interesting!!

🎀 improve your diet: with diet I don't mean to specifically have a diet, actually I'm a bit against them, since being strict about what we eat can cause stress and guiltiness, it's really important to have a balance, eating healthy at the end of the day means nothing if you don't enjoy it. And you can enjoy it by having fun creating new healthy recipes, doing a journal about your fav healthy recipes, buying new cookware (pink plates, pots, pans, etc) or eating a hamburguer, a chocolate cookie sometime

🎀 journal: this is something I do since 2014 lol it's without doubt one of the best things the human has created. It has helped me to improve my writing skills, to get to know me better, to vent about stuff idk how or whom to talk about, also make it fun! In my journal I vent and write about my feelings,fears, dreams, goals, etc but also write down my travels, concerts or fav kpop artists, decorate with stickers, a piece of confetti, even dried flowers!

🎀 hobbies: this is something I also learned recently on therapy, I mean we all had hobbies from time to time but do we know about the importance of having them? I spent this whole year doing nothing since I can't work or study, and without hobbies I can tell you life is too boring, and it can lead you to bad self esteem too I mean, I kinda got crazier for spending so much time alone with literally nothing to do. So find new and fun stuff to do just for the pleasure of doing it, you don't have to be the best at it. I bet you can find hobbies ideas on YouTube as well.

🎀 be more femenine: this is ofc an optional step but I think it can be important, since always either wonyoung or it girls usually look very femenine. Don't forget to make it a fun thing to do! Finding your aesthetic, maybe trying a new one, enjoy going shopping..you can be femenine with your clothing, with your skin care routine, with your jewlery...this is just about feeling beautiful and also powerful.

🎀 improve your behaviour towards other people: with this I mean basically being more open. To meet new people, to make new plans...also fixing your body gesture (at least mine is shit and It always end up hurting my back and shoulders)

🎀 affirmations: good affirmations are a thing, this I learned in therapy too. The way you talk to yourself is important and changing the mindset too. If you tell yourself "I won't be able" then for sure you won't. This is not an easy thing tho I know, but is a necessary thing. Forcing yourself to change your mind every time a negative thought pass by is a hardwork but is well payd, cause the price is your happiness. For this is VERY important to have some help and work things up in therapy. But to give you a little tip, surround yourself with good energy, put some pictures of good affirmations in your room, as background of your phone, even on a shirt!

🎀 enjoy and trust the process: as I kept saying in each step, making it something fun to do it would help you to don't feel it like an obligation cause it's not. It's ofc a responsability to improve your life so you don't fall in depressed behaviours for example, but by making it something fun, then you won't feel guilty if someday you don't feel like functioning and need a lazy day in bed. And by trusting the process, we keep motivated to keep going.

🌼hope this works for you, please let me know if so, have a great day and a great life! 🌼

[utilitycaster]

this may seem needlessly finicky but I do actually believe it's important: calling Verin a himbo is just one of many examples where like, one of the cast says something off the cuff and it's not exactly the right word or it is highly contextual, and that is fine because no one is perfect especially in improv, but then it gets repeated ad infinitum within the fandom when it never really fit in the first place. We have Verin's stats and he's decently more intelligent than average with a 13 (smarter than most of Bells Hells for one; as smart as Pike); it's just he's the guy with a bachelor's degree with good grades followed by military service in a family where everyone has two PhDs - Matt said "himbo of the family" the way in a family where most people are exceptionally tall you'd call the 5'11" child the short one. In Call of the Netherdeep he appears as thoughtful and competent and promoted to a difficult position at a very young age, and in the campaign his appearance is simultaneously as a leader of troops in a dangerous mission, and someone who cares enough about poetry from a completely foreign and distant culture to have tried to learn more about it. I'm sorry, but if you're using the word "himbo" I don't think you're processing a thing about the character yourself; you're just the latest repetition in a game of telephone that's been going on since mid-2021.

And that's not deeply bad on the surface, and I'm using Verin not because he is the character most wronged by this sort of thing but because he's recent and it's really clear where the word came from and that it's not a good assessment, but something I happen to have a decent knack for is pattern recognition in language. I usually find it really easy to pick up on when someone's plagiarized because of the language and pattern shifts. I tend to remember urls and out of place words well. So I do tend to notice when everyone suddenly starts using a single turn of phrase and I tend to flag it. Sometimes that's not bad; sometimes it means everyone came to a similar conclusion and that's the best way to express that conclusion. But like, when Taliesin called the Yios episode a gas-leak episode and the entire fandom started parroting it? The line "bone-dry takes"? The fact that a lot of ship defenses I see were phrased precisely as "I have eyes"? without actually talking about the ship itself? the fact that I've seen a spike in the use of the term "ontologically evil" including in myself and not all uses are actually correct? And extending this beyond strictly language but consider any headcanon with minimal textual support that catches like wildfire (sidebar: remember how we make, or made fun of the SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE tendency on Tumblr a decade ago? same concept of repetition of a specific turn of phrase without internalizing) all sort of ping this.

And it's fine, truly, to come to fandom and turn off your brain. I know this will sound sarcastic from me, and that's because I don't personally agree, but I do strongly agree that you can do what you want in fandom and you don't have to listen to my opinions so in the end, yeah, it's fine because I am not the arbiter of "fine". But I think critical thought is a vital exercise and I think precision with language is part of it and so if you find yourself using the same exact words and thoughts as everyone else, that should, ideally, trigger a process of "but are these the right words? what do I see when I see this character and how would I describe them? do I agree with this assessment?" Fandom is an interesting and easier microcosm than reality in which to start doing that.

[anemoiashifts]

what your s/o wants you to know, pick an object reading !

please pick one of the jelly cats above ! ⋆.˚

note !! if reading doesn’t resonate, that’s okay !! please don’t force yourself to make it fit. there will be other readings :)

also thank you to everyone who voted on my poll for what type of reading. if the one you voted for didn’t win, im probably going to end up doing all of them anyways so don’t worry. the next one being a pick an item reading from your desired reality self. id like do maybe do something like month shifting readings at the top of each month ? maybe ?? ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

✦

bashful lilac bunny ! ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

songs : vampire by olivia rodrigo, wait for life by lana del rey & emile haynie, fvck somebody by the wrecks.

this person has the tendency to irresponsible at times & jump to conclusions irrationally. however, they work best in teams & loves the work that they do. some jobs this person could have is a private investigator or work in law; someone who likes to take care of people. because of this persons work they may struggle with negative thinking & could have a lot of spiritual baggage. your presence grounds them & allows some normalcy. you & this person will unfortunately go through a lot of grieving & hardships together. it’s giving the vibe of something similar to enemies to lovers or on again / off again. when things are good, they’re great ! but things are bad, they’re bad. despite opposing views at times, you both strive for comfort.

this person wants you to care about yourself more. not just a skin care routine or repeating positive affirmations but learning to accept yourself & being kinder to yourself without judgement. you tend to strive when in confidence regarding every area — self image, performance, how you carry yourself. your confidence & self improvement is why this person is most attracted to you.

✦

smudge hippo ! ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

songs : my hair by ariana grande, my love all mine mitski, consume by chase atlantic.

this person loves you. like looooves you. they think you’d be a good parent & would want to start a family with you if possible. you both are very caring & nurturing to one another & balance one another very well. this person has a lot of patience & emotional strength. they want you to know all your efforts will pay off. they think you have a lack of focus & believe you are suffering to attempt to shift because you see shifting meditations or exercises as boring. your person knows that if you could skip to being in your dr — you would. this person wants you to realize sometimes taking the time to nurture your desires & our some action to them can help your manifestations grow.

your s/o wants you to have more structure & discipline. to create some goals that are outside of shifting so you can stop seeing the process of shifting as tiring & a chore & get excited about it again.

✦

lavender dragon ! ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ

i just want to preface, this specific reading for group number three / lavender dragon looks a littleeee different from the previous. this pile & re-pulling of cards for clarification has circled back to money over & over. im going to go off track & also include some things that your s/o may want to let you know in regardless to this / what this could mean.

songs : king of everything by madison beer , mind over matter by young the elephant, hometown by twenty one pilots, i saw you in a dream by the japanese house.

this person wants to remind you that “everything happens for a reason”. they could’ve had to work their way up to the top & can sometimes burry themselves into their work. they can get a little standoffish & as a result your relationship with them could be a little codependent at times. they want you to break away from that aspect of your relationship with them that can definitely bleed into how you view them here. you have a tendency to lose yourself in others & sacrifice parts of yourself to please them & this person doesn’t want to see you change completely to appease them — they like you for you. you tend to get lost in the fantasy aspect of it all. thinking of what shifting could be instead of reflecting & looking at what works for you vs what doesn’t. “there is a time & a place for everything”.

you could be facing some struggles here that incorporate money in some way. maybe you’re in between jobs or are struggling financially right now ? it could just be a situation you are in that has a larger price tag: starting college, purchasing a car, etc. your dr s/o wants to remind you new beginnings in this reality will come & your financial situation will improve. this could also apply to your desired reality, maybe you both are tight on money atm. i didn’t get any clear clarifications despite efforts so i suppose this is something only for you to know the answer to or something that is supposed to be a mystery. for some of you that may resonate while others it may not. however, why i included this is the messaging of having things going on in this reality that could deserve attention here. shifting will always be here, while life here is fleeting, is the vibe im picking up for this last group.

✦

thank you for reading !! :) i hope you were able to take something away from it. 🤍🤍

[icyg4l]

PAC: Your Upcoming Semester

hello beautiful people! alright so… i lied about not posting the other night. my bad!!! but i hope this makes up for it. i’ve been getting ready for school and i am so excited about this new transition. soon, i will make readings available for sale again. i also have an announcement to make regarding readings for sale soon as well! i hope you guys enjoy the reading! without further ado, please choose your pile!

top left-to-bottom right: (1-4)

pile one: mentally, you’re not prepared to be back in school. pile one, i’m not going to lie. it will take you a while to adjust to the new semester. this summer was definitely vacation time. you took the time off to just relax and do you, but it’s time to put in that work now. do you have your things together? are you registered? have you signed up for classes? if not, you need to do so! once you get the hang of this, i feel like the semester will fly by. i feel like some of you will get into arguments unfortunately. it could be over something small but don’t let it blow out of proportion. i heard “the future looks very promising”. you have to learn how to look on the bright side sometimes to avoid losing your mind. it’s best that you spend time learning a new language or skill. it’s also best that you get involved with the earth club if that’s something you’re interested. i thought of the everest college commercial lol (if you know, you know). don’t waste your time focusing on the small stuff. look at the bigger picture, pile one.

cards used: 7 of wands. 4 of swords. 10 of wands. 8 of swords. 3 of wands. the star. 8 of wands.

extra messages: petty arguments. solo. snooze button. cotton ball. coraline (2009). prove it. plea.

pile two: it feels like you are redeeming yourself, pile two. it feels like you failed your last semester or had the bare minimum grades to pass the last go around. but you don’t have to do anything to prove to anyone but yourself at the end of the day. there is a chance that you could be in front of the cameras during the semester. if you are interested in journalism, now is your chance to get involved. if you want to switch your major or join the broadcasting team, then go for it! you have to learn school-life balance. you have struggled with this in the past. know when you can handle something & know when to take your L, which brings me to another thing. this semester, you should know when to ask for help. if you need a tutor or extra help, you know where to find resources. use them! you cannot do everything by yourself. i see some type of celebration happening. if your birthday is in the first semester, happy early birthday! but this could also mean that you are celebrating a hard and long semester. take pride in your accomplishments because no one can take them away from you. maximize their importance! maximize your importance!

cards used: ten of swords. the hermit. 6 of discs. the emperor. 5 of swords. knight of swords. 4 of wands.

extra messages: vintage. playing cards. coolio. parlay. late night studying. destined to be. rewards. partial completion credit. i’ll take it. osmosis jones. snacking problem. cheez-its. love island voter. kiss me by sixpence.

pile three: this pile is for my people who desire to be in the healthcare industry. i think that this semester will fly by. you have always been on top of your game when it comes to school. you knew that you would do well before you even clicked on this reading. however, i think you will be putting more of an effort to get yourself out there. the dating scene will be improving for you to get in. someone will ask you out on a date. it feels like you’ve been waiting for this to happen. do not let this turn of events distract you from what really matters which is your educational endeavors. this is very specific, but if there is someone you date that is well-connected, utilize their connections to your benefit. make sure that you can get something out of all of your contacts. don’t just let people take up space in your life. this is definitely for my college babes, maybe high school seniors too. just be open to fun and don’t carry shame for wanting to have fun! you deserve to have a life too!

cards used: the tower, queen of wands, the high priestess, the empress, 9 of cups, prince of wands, the hermit, the emperor.

extra messages: veterinarian. crest toothpaste. toenail jam. worms. marine biologist. dental work. boogeyman. letting your hair down. toes in the sand.

pile four: you have a lot of stuff on the line, pile four. there will be so many things available to you that weren’t before & it would be a shame if you didn’t take advantage of that. however, you do not want to do anything that would take away from your drive, finances, goals or educational career as a whole. there are lots of temptations coming up for you this semester. some of you could just be entering undergrad, perhaps grad school too. you will have a lot more control of your life than you did before. but with great power comes great responsibilities. your energy is similar to pile three in the sense that fun is on the way. but you have the tendency to overdo it. if you’re sexually active, then you need to not engage in sex too much. if you drink, then do not engage in drinking too much. it will become a distraction, and then eventually a problem. distinguish who is supposed to be in your life and who isn’t. you have a bit of naïveté about you. lastly, if you are asked to do something that sounds like it would be risky to your academic career/your life in general, DO NOT DO IT! it is not worth the irreparable damage. bending your morals will not work in your favor.

cards used: 9 of cups, death, the magician, 10 of swords, the moon.

extra messages: call home. out of bounds. melodrama (2017). record scratch. debrief. gaining pounds. life hacks. selenite. prozac. potty mouth.

[littlemoonastrology]

Astro Observations: The Moon ☽

The Moon represents aspects of our cognition and emotion: our memory, comfort zones, reactions, the way we feel fulfilled, where we are satisfied, the way we feel connected to others, nurture ourselves and others, and our intuition.

Not only that, but the Moon can also tell us what aspect of our life we need to nurture, watch over and protect in order to grow and how. When we direct this energy in the right area, it becomes easier to express and allows us to feel more fulfilled in life.

When the Moon is satisfied, it is how you know you are on the right path. Follow your dreams and become the person you want to be - the Moon will guide you... just be careful not to become too emotionally tied to things, overprotective, clingy - sometimes the Moon can also signify what you need to let go of in order to become the best version of you.

What you can also do to learn about this, is see where Cancer is in your chart (or see what sign your 4th House falls in, including the Planets inside of it)!

If you are someone with a Cancer Stellium (like me!); nurturing yourself, self improvement, letting go of things that don't serve you, feeling satisfied and comfortable (whilst still reaching your goals), becoming an individual whilst still feeling comfortable with people may be a priority for you. This may also mean you feel highly tied to your Moon placement, so follow it!

To see a brief explanation of what the Moon means in the Houses, see below!

~

Moon in 1st : You feel at your best when you are making the right impression to people, nurture your appearance and projects you find make you the happiest. You are highly intuitive, able to scope out people's intentions quickly (but this may also mean you could be the sort of person to wear your emotions on your sleeve) - be careful not to let people take advantage of you and manipulate you. Let go of those that make you feel bad about yourself, try to make you compromise for things you don't enjoy or always put you on the short end of the stick - put YOU first! You'll find then you can express your individuality a lot easier and move towards what you really enjoy.

Moon in 2nd : When you are investing your time and energy into something you care about it feels very satisfying to you. You enjoy making money and spending it on things that make you happy but for the long-term! (Maybe buying things to further a skill, home decoration maybe!). You are not someone who looks much into the short-term aspects of something - you want something stable you can rely on, trust and really enjoy in your life. Make sure to let go of those who try to sabotage the work you have done if you have a fixed vision of something or if you have strong morals. These kinds of people are not those that will stay in your life and will not invest useful energy into you - so don't spend it on them! Once you're doing that, you will be able to invest a lot more into yourself and your projects!

Moon in 3rd : Communication, growing your intelligence and critical thinking skills are very important to you! You may have a lot of interests/hobbies and enjoy researching/understanding those that give you satisfaction. You are a very curious person, always ready to learn more and grow intellectually. Speaking to people, journaling or engaging in learning about your interests may be a way to help you deal with negative emotions. Let go of people/situations that don't serve your interests and curious nature... and ESPECIALLY let go of people that treat your interests with negativity - you need to be able to learn/communicate and feel comfortable doing so! Once this has been done, you will feel a lot more comfortable with yourself, able to express your interests to a wider range of people.

Moon in 4th : Pay attention to how you feel around your family (or people that feel like family to you) as with this placement it may be pretty easy to get taken advantage of. It's very important you feel nurtured emotionally and secure in whatever setting you're in - you need to feel safe in order for you to grow. You're someone deeply compassionate, maybe with an intense nostalgic quality and get attached to things easily (or you went through a phase like that). When you start to feel unsafe, insecure in your surroundings, like you are being neglected this is how you know you are on the wrong path - maybe this even feels comfortable to you when it shouldn't! Your biggest lesson is to learn to let go, move towards what makes you feel safe and secure - like you can really be yourself and grow into who you want to be.

Moon in 5th : You are someone naturally very expressive and passionate, someone who shares their joy with others and makes others feel good about themselves! Your passions and creative expression are very important to you - they are something you love to share with the world and engage your time in! People or situations that limit this expression, make you feel depressed or make you part of a structure which makes you feel unsafe or unsatisfied should be avoided. You are someone who naturally already wants to commit to your passions and share their desires, learn about them and try new things - a routine may make you feel bored or stagnant. Once you've started avoiding those situations, you'll attract more people around you who want to see what you've been creating/performing!

Moon in 6th : You take care of your health and surroundings very well, maybe also have quite a strong work ethic (or you enjoy staying busy). You are someone who feels satisfied when developing your skills or when you feel capable in doing something, whether that be for people or yourself. If you start to feel like you are being taken advantage of, are confused with what someone wants exactly (maybe through manipulation) or when you start to doubt yourself, it can cause some serious sense of insecurity within you. Avoid vague situations and communicate as directly as possible - don't let people take advantage or be emotionally manipulative towards you to gain something. This will allow you to feel more confident in yourself, meaning you are able to set better boundaries so you can continue developing yourself and your skills to provide for those around you! You are capable, be careful not to burn yourself out!

Moon in 7th : You feel the most satisfied when you are around those you love and feel close to. You may have a reputation for being very kind or emotionally involved in your relationships, often giving as much as possible to your partner without much of a second thought - it makes you happy! Sometimes though, the people you meet may be pretty self serving and only really care about themselves and don't pay any attention to your feelings. This can make you feel alone, dissatisfied, neglected and is something you should avoid at all costs. You deserve to be loved and cared for just as much as anyone else - your needs matter too! Once you've started avoiding situations such as this - where you're giving and giving and not receiving (like a one-sided relationship, pay attention to rewards you receive too) and not getting any respect, you'll notice you start to become more assertive in yourself, able to stand up for what you want and deserve!

Moon in 8th : When you trust someone, you trust HARD or you find you can become pretty selfless to people who you are close to. This is someone very loyal, protective and would do anything to make sure their loved ones are okay! Vulnerability isn't easy depending on the sign, but when you become emotionally attached to someone - you get ATTACHED! However, be careful and avoid those who seek to use you for their gain whatever that may be (or they want you to give more than you can give). This can make you feel used, manipulated, unwanted - maybe even scared and you start to develop trust issues. You deserve someone who cares about your emotions and would be as loyal as you are to them, someone who can relate to you, someone you can really trust. Once you start avoiding those who make you feel used, you'll notice your mood drastically shifting and you start to become more open to new experiences, open to trusting.

Moon in 9th : You may be someone who really enjoys travelling, trying new foods, maybe some kind of introspection or academics - anything to quench your curiosity and excitement! You need to be able to explore all the different aspects of life and follow what you know will make you happiest - whether its a moral or an ambition, it gives you a deep sense of purpose most likely which is very satisfying for you. A major stressor may be those who seem not to care about what YOU want to do or are closed-minded to your opinions, let go of them! They don't serve you. You deserve to live the life you want to live without others telling you what to do and how to do it. You'll notice when you start to let these situations go, you become more open and committed goals you actually want to pursue even if it means you won't stick with it forever!

Moon in 10th : Ambitious is the perfect word to describe you! You may be quite career-oriented, or someone that directs their time to their own goals a lot of the time. You enjoy staying productive, working your way up something to be the best you can be and gain a lot of satisfaction from self-improvement possibly. Situations/people which make you feel stagnant, stuck in your comfort zone, like you can't actually progress in life should definitely be avoided. You're allowed to work on your own ambitions, don't let people sabotage them (especially family). You really want to be able to commit and dedicate yourself to something you genuinely want to do - so once you've started avoiding unhealthy situations which make you feel stuck and unworthy, you'll notice you feel a lot more motivated. Maybe your goals will become even clearer to you! Don't lose sight of what's important to you.

Moon in 11th : Your friend groups and ideologies are very very important to you and bring you a lot of happiness. Spending time with people that make you feel good, like you can relate to them and appreciate you for who you are is very satisfying - maybe you are in a few different friend groups and just enjoy meeting new people! However, it may be pretty easy to get caught up in situations or with people that make you feel inferior, excluded - or maybe this is something you are sensitive to. Avoid those who spend too much time talking about themselves - you're just as interesting and important as them! You have valid things to say! Once you stop worrying what those think of you and your opinions out of fear of being excluded or inferior or weird, you'll notice you start to build a friendship group that is just right for you. It will help you grow and feel nurtured, like you can express yourself properly.

Moon in 12th : You feel the most satisfied and nurtured when you are at peace, it's possible you do a lot of inner work or enjoy spending time on your own - sitting with your thoughts and feelings. Maybe you are even quite artistic, anything which allows you to feel more stable and settled, like you can grow in the way you want to. When people want to set very strict schedules on you, force you to a work ethic you don't want to be a part of it can be very stressful for you and is something you should let go of. Your emotional life deserves to be treated with respect - you deserve to feel at peace. Once you start to let go of these situations, you will notice you start to feel less anxious and more authentic to who you are - follow what gives you the deepest sense of peace and satisfaction.

~

Check out my Masterlist and Ko-Fi!

Currently selling:

Career Readings

Love Readings

Natal Chart Readings

Big 3 Readings

Synastry Chart Readings

Contact me if you're interested and want to know more (or if you have any concerns)!

Take Care!

[astropookie]

astro thoughts pt blablabla 🫴🏼

pinterest

Leo mercury + 6H, she’s a perfectionist and has such a creative, intelligent and confident mind. she’s PRACTICAL and knows her worth -describing a friend-.

Uranus/Neptune retrograde could mean struggle to exit a toxic group, “friends”.

Mercury retrograde not necessarily represents obvious or visible problems/conditions with speaking, stutter or dyslexia, etc. I’ve noticed they could seem rude, too direct, not diplomatic, they could have difficulties explaining themselves. they could generalize often or they don’t ask about certain things bc they’re ashamed.

when your mars is in their 2H you feel so comfortable with them. in other words, the other day I hooked up with the person I share this synastry and I felt incredibly comfortable, seeing each others naked and don’t feel ashamed or judged. idk it’s funny to me, I’ve never felt that way -casual situation-, like I could even fart and he won’t even judge. too explicit I’m sorry 😭. I’m gonna stop with the mars 2H synastry

I’ve read a lot of comments about black moon in lilith 7H that says they could be part of a 3rd party or be “the other women”. I have that placement in my natal chart and already a couple of times my friends who end up a 2 year relationship propose me to be their sneaky link. also, it could mean that the girlfriends/ boyfriends/partners of your friends could be jealous of you, the Lilith 7H person.

9H stellium in solar return signifies improvement, learning, to expand your horizons, to start a new period of high/education/learning.

in this whole period of time I’ve learned about my needs and how to communicate them (Chiron 3H in solar return): for example, I’ve seen people and I wanted something casual but didn’t know how to make myself understood. I didn’t even know what I wanted, so I’ve learned it during this period. It doesn’t count only in situationship stuff, it’s an example.

Uranus 4H in Solar Return: yes, it doesn’t mean you’ll end up moving to another country. I’ve seen a CHANGE in my family dynamic. believe me, if my “me” from one year ago observes my family dynamic now, she would be SHOCKED.

Solar return mars conjunct Part of Fortune: yes, I’ve been 🤓📚🫦

Solar moon square uranus: I was a good girl all that time 🥰 I was suffering, struggling so hard so things will be in order, pretty and diplomatic… My feelings and ideas didn’t match what I usually used to do: do whatever I want (uranus ruled). I wanted but my subconscious was telling me to keep calm so all the trust or time i gave to build that environment won’t be wasted. then, unintentionally, I broke that diplomatic environment after my birthday. it felt really good, like it was me again😩

natal saturn 1H why so conservative and traditional? I’m not affirming is a bad thing but this placement often behaves exaggeratedly, too disciplined/formal. they could be too focused on what should be and how things should work instead of appreciating the whole situation. they could end up judging others too much, evidencing the amount of criticism they have on themselves.

pluto 9H not everything has to do with politics. -yes and no, it’s debatable-. my point is, relax, sometimes life it’s not how you wanted to be. let things be🧘‍♀️

Lilith (mean) 5H you were the experiment of your parents, don’t you?

Node trine Jupiter tells me you can overcome challenges in your life even if you have a lot of chiron aspects in your natal chart 😭 idk if it’s understandable. What I mean is that the universe has your back, this aspect goes through deep experiences that have the previous mentioned effects on them.

Ascendant - Mercury aspects: job that has to do with communication 🤪 too obvious but I’ve noticed. lawyer, publicity, etc.

sun opposition sun synastry: opposites attracts.

pluto opposition juno natal tells me you have to work first on yourself to enter a relationship, to solve those control issues. also meaning that if you didn’t work on yourself, you could have being the one directing the relationship.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings

❀ English is not my first language

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[puffycinnabunny]

How to cope with a bad grade (or a grade worse than your expectations)

Hello hello,

Cinna here! I am a third-year neural science major, so, needless to say, I had my share of academic failures. I am sure there are some people who managed to finish college with perfect grades, but, trust me, there aren't as many as you think. It's human to make mistakes! But it's also OK to be upset about your mistakes. Your value is not determined by your grades! Regardless, here are some tips and tricks to get things going after a big whoopsie daisy.

Give yourself some time to process: Does this mean crying? maybe. Blankly staring at a wall? Also possible. Let it sink in. This step can take a long time, don't feel guilty about the time spent. As I said, grades don't define you, and it is not the end of the world. BUT your feelings are valid! You are allowed to feel upset or even disappointed. Give yourself some time to do that but don't let your feelings about the situation define your feelings about yourself <3

Get a treat: Yeah yeah, so you messed up. But I usually allow myself some escapism before getting back on track. Watch an episode you have been waiting to watch after the exams. Get a cookie. Take a nap. Do SOMETHING that makes you secrete some serotonin.

Check your exam: Make sure to learn what you got wrong. It may feel like it is too late now, but it is NOT! Go speak to your TA or professor and learn what went wrong and why. This might be very valuable for the next exams! It also allows the teaching staff to see you are TRYING to improve. This can be a game changer for the final grade when they consider performance grades or if you ask for a recommendation letter.

Game plan: It happened. You faced it, you asked for help, and now it's time to plan how to improve. You don't have to follow each and every step but sketch out things to review and when. This will make you state your intention. Sometimes declaring you are gonna do something is more powerful than you think. It will also help you feel less overwhelmed when you are studying for the next exams.

The redemption arc: Be easy on yourself. A healthy amount of regret can push you forward, but don't let it burn you out. This is a marathon! If you are a stem student like me, chances are you have MANY midterms (too many, absolutely too many). This means you have your chance to fix this. Remember you haven't lost until you stop trying. Go ask for help from your friends. If they are at the same level of knowledge you can cross-examine the content to see if you are missing something. Trying to teach the content also helps you organize it better in your head which helps the learning process. If you are a lone wolf and don't like studying with others, try speaking to yourself aloud (it's not crazy behavior, sush). Stay hydrated and have healthy snacks around! Be consistent and hopeful. I'm sure things will go better during the next midterms. And if not, the other midterms. And if not, the other... midterms... GOd I have too many midterms...

I believe in you, buddy. You got this! Take some chubby pigeons that I found cute as a motivator (they believe in you too).