#Quarter-Life Crisis

[lazysharkart]

Get yourself a partner who supports you at your worst and lets you keep the cat.

[gods-no-longer-tread-here]

when Taylor Tomlinson said "I've never been drunk because I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic" and "Do you know how afraid of your own personality you have to be, to be hunched over a blueberry--the smallest of fruits--holding a plastic knife from Taco Bell like "Ooh, be careful. You don't wanna be fun to hang out with"?" and "I'm not the life of the party, I'm the barely-there pulse of a potluck" and "Do you feel fine? I feel fine! Do you feel fine? I feel fine! Do you feel fine? I feel fine! If we keep saying it do you think it'll become true? Am I laughing, I've been practicing!"

[blondiehasthoughts]

Playlist for the Month of December

Keep an eye out for updates to this playlist throughout the month! And don't worry - the final version will be ready for you to check out next month.

Enjoying the playlist? Follow me on Spotify @primedonnagirl or visit my blog for the stories that inspired it.

Check out more at www.blondiehasthoughts.com

[sunsetseeker]

The Invisible Curriculum: Lessons Learned After Graduation

The Great Unknown

The abrupt transition from the structured world of academia to the vast, uncertain expanse of post-college life is a shock to the system. Armed with a degree but lacking real-world experience, I found myself adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

At twenty-two, still under the comforting roof of my parents' home, I grapple with a silent pressure. While grateful for their support, the ambitious dreams I once harbored now feel like distant echoes.

It’s a truth conveniently omitted from the college curriculum: the transition to post-graduate life is a formidable challenge. The carefully constructed plans of our college years, based on theoretical knowledge and hypothetical scenarios, evaporate upon graduation. The real world, it turns out, is far less predictable.

The pressure to "figure it out" is immense. Peers are securing jobs, buying homes, and building lives that seem to move at an accelerated pace. Social media, a constant reminder of others' successes, can be a double-edged sword. It's a battle between internalizing these achievements as inspiration or allowing them to fuel feelings of inadequacy.

The fear of failure looms large. With every job application rejection, self-doubt creeps in. The question of whether I've chosen the right path echoes in my mind. It's a time of questioning one's identity, purpose, and place in the world.

 Lost and Found

Psychology, a subject chosen more for its pragmatic appeal than passion, became the framework for my undergraduate years. My heart, however, yearned for storytelling, a world of imagination and emotion where I could lose myself. The academic rigors of psychology, while intellectually stimulating, stifled my creative spirit. Unfinished stories lay scattered in notebooks, haunting reminders of a part of myself I had temporarily abandoned.

Graduation felt like a sudden drop into an abyss. The structured world of academia, with its clear goals and defined paths, was replaced by a vast, open expanse filled with endless possibilities—and equally endless uncertainties. The ticking clock of my peers securing jobs induced a mix of envy and desperation. Casting aside caution, I applied for roles far below my qualifications, driven by a desperate need for experience.

The toll of this job-hunting frenzy was immense. Rejection after rejection chipped away at my self-esteem. The pressure to find something, anything, to fill the void of unemployment was overwhelming. Sleepless nights, accompanied by a constant low-grade anxiety, became the norm.

It was during this period of profound disillusionment that I began to question my choices. Had I made a grave mistake by pursuing psychology? Was I destined for a life of unfulfilled potential? These questions echoed in my mind, creating a sense of internal turmoil.

Finding My Footing

Unemployment, unexpectedly, became a period of introspection. With no professional identity to uphold, I had the freedom to explore my strengths and passions without external pressures.

The initial days were filled with a sense of aimlessness. But as the weeks turned into months, a pattern began to emerge. I found myself gravitating towards creative outlets. Writing, once a neglected hobby, became a daily practice. I delved into the world of blogging, experimenting with different styles and topics.

The decision to share my writing online was a leap of faith. The digital world is a vast and competitive space, and the fear of rejection was ever-present. But with each published piece, a sense of accomplishment grew. I discovered a joy in crafting words and sharing my thoughts with the world.

Through my writing, I found a way to combine my love for storytelling with my knowledge of psychology. By exploring complex psychological concepts in an accessible and engaging way, I was able to connect with readers on a deeper level. It was as if I had found my voice, a voice that resonated with others.

Slowly but surely, a following began to grow. What started as a personal outlet transformed into a platform where others found solace, understanding, and a sense of community. People began to share their most intimate thoughts and experiences, trusting me to hold their stories with care and respect. It was through this profound connection that I realized the true impact of my writing. My psychology background provided a framework for empathy and understanding, creating a safe space for others to be heard.

[lonesomedreamereccentriclover]

Taylor Tomlinson

[doggerell]

Cast Iron // Allie + Quarter-Life Crisis

You wanna stay open to everything And I think, I know what you really mean

[jadump]

I can't believe I'm 20 yrs. old na. I feel like I'm only 16 yrs. old.

[reply2001]

2024 Recap

Actually, I am still figuring it out The year began with textbooks and deadlines—fourth semester, masters. The New Year came and went, but it didn’t feel like anything new, only heavier. Exams loomed, and I rushed through January like it was something to escape. My birthday arrived in February, and for the first time, I cried. Loudly. Not the happy tears people hope for but the kind that comes…

[spaupa-the-nerd]

I'm getting better and better at acquiescing

And it's terrifying

I'm getting older, aren't I?

[pithia]

I'm not against working hard, but I know what it's felt like to have that identity of being a Hard Worker dominate my choices. And then when my hard work didn't pay off with the expected success, I fell apart. My identity crumbled around this mentality, in what I've seen to be a common quarter-life crisis.

—Chelsey Goodan (Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls)

[xiao-yanzi]

i can't believe the draw this website has on me, i started a tumblr 12 years ago and here i am again back on my bullshit

it's honestly nice to see that there's still some mutuals from way back still actively posting like love that miss you guys

[teddybearnightmares]

We seriously need to come up with like a signal to let the person that we're dating know we're kinky af, and a planned signal back that confirms "yes, i'm also kink af" or "yes, i'm willing to satiate your kinks but I'm really vanilla".

I know you're probably reading this thinking "well, why the fuck wouldn't you just talk to eachother like a normal fucking person".

............ Bold of you to assume a normal person was writing this shit...

ANYWAYS!!

I just don't want to waist time with speaking to someone who isn't interested in any of the kinks I have and vice versa.

Like what should it be? A nose scatch when you ask about our hobbies and if you know then you scratch your knuckles when we answer? Or we could have different signals for different kinks? So you would really have to know... to know

I Don't fucking know and I have no dating experience so all of this just sounds exhausting tbh...

Probably going to die a v*rg*n (shrugs).

Maybe while still in the talking phase you randomly mention artichokes in the middle of the conversation?

Fuck it. I'm out of ideas. What do people normally do when trying to date knowing they have a grocery list of kinks?

I know that you wouldn't dump all of it onto them, but at least you would want to have a couple of your kinks fulfilled... Then slowly go from there right?

And I know you're probably thinking that it's ridiculous for someone who can't even bring up her kinks to try to date someone else who is also just as kinky as them since kinks involve very clear communication with your partner. Also if I'm a virgin, you're probably thinking it's not a good Idea to jump into dating someone with kinks and that my first time should be vanilla.

That never interested me so no thank you.

Growing up sheltered fucks up your relationship with sex in general. Makes it worst if you find out you have kinks. I'm working on it but I feel I've only been open about my kinks with the google search bar....

Take this all with a grain of salt. I was kinda sorta joking while having a quarter life crisis lol!

[secretly-a-trekkie]

mid crisis but here's firefighter AU despite 75% of the firefighters i know being absolute douchebags

[femmefatalevibe]

25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

[lopashes]

never posted these curlys here. have been thinking about cave story a bit recently...

[thepeacefulgarden]