#Oliver posting

[themaskedmewtwo]

Emergency Comms and Etsy Shop sale bc I have a really big hospital bill to pay off!

(35% off from now until 1/1/25 on Etsy and Ko-Fi)

https://ko-fi.com/maskedmewtwo/commissions

[purpletrashsnake]

Oliver posting

He got an update!

[pixelephant]

[frownyalfred]

Thomas Wayne, wringing his hands: “You know, I’m from Gotham — born and raised, Alfred. But Martha — she’s from Gotham. Do you know what I mean?”

Alfred Pennyworth, freshly hired with 0% of an idea what that actually means: “Certainly, sir.”

[stalebagels]

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

[bruciemilf]

Anyway I need a fic where Bruce, Oliver and Harley are roommates

Bruce offered additional pay to have a single dorm (Alfred bribed the board) Harley randomly showed up at his apartment because she was hiding from her prick of an ex and didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“SANCTUARY.”

“Please don’t yell at me. I punch when I’m startled.”

“Okay sorry.”

“Would you like some tea while I beat him up?”

“Yes”

Oliver specifically requested a transfer to Gotham for his final year, and decided to make this introverted bitch’s life as hard as possible.

Also.

Bruce somehow acquired a baby child from crime alley while he was picking up groceries (ramen noodles and monster drinks) and his only motivation to graduate is look good on the application.

He’s in a perpetual state of “I miss my baby so much I have to go see him” and “I am night. I am vengeance. I— Harley. Please stop taking my eyeliner. It’s unhygienic.”

“Blah blah blah, I’m gonna be a Crazyologist, not a nurse.”

“Bruce we’re literally 4 hours away from your place”

“Ollie please drive me.”

“God — FUCK ok. Only if you PROMISE I’ll be godfather.”

They’re all also vigilantes; But that’s the boring part.

[sadist-babypink]

love the rookie lineup already. ayrton senna reincarnation according to toto wolff. wannabe-italian ferrari fanboy. fernando alonso's evil son. the newest sacrifice to rb junior team. max verstappen's next victim technically not a rookie. and jack doohan who is about to face the horrors that are alpine f1. great.

[teafromthemicrowave]

Oliver Banks.

[deansawthetvglow]

idk something like this

[megamindsupremacy]

Imagine if Bruce and Oliver ran into each other separately on their respective Life-Changing Global Training Montages. Can you IMAGINE that would be so funny. Oliver still thinks Bruce is kinda an idiot. Bruce thought Oliver was DEAD. They both think each other is some spoiled rich kid but they accidentally ended up with the same top-notch martial arts trainer at the same time. It is never clarified that they're both doing Vigilante Training Montages. They are having a horrible time. They have to be roommates again. Everyone is suffering.

[loolilyumm]

Agent 3 interrupts the Octo Expansion character selection screen (not clickbait)

[purpletrashsnake]

First Oliver moment in who knows how long

[bellabrady]

[softhe4rted]

to begin with, the sweet grass by mary oliver, from “devotions”

[olailamajnoon]

Bruce pulled off his sweaty shirt in Ma Kent's kitchen along with Clark and Hal, and began chugging a lemonade. The three men had been doing something that apparently constituted hard manual labor in the barn. Zatanna watched silently, then she noticed it.

A tattoo on Bruce's abs. Some foreign symbols engraved in calligraphic form.

It was possible the world was coming to an end.

She turned her head to try and read it. It was Kryptonian, if she had to take a guess.

Bruce noticed where her gaze was. "My eyes are up here," he said.

"I know," said Zatanna, rolling hers. "I just...since when do you have a tattoo?"

"Since I lost a bet to my kids," said Bruce.

"You let your kids do this to you?" Zatanna was incredulous.

"It's been five years, Zee," said Clark. "Are you seriously noticing it now?"

"Well, I don't make a habit of staring at Bruce's nude form," she replied, her sentence heavy with implication.

Clark blushed and dropped his spectacles.

"What's next," said Zatanna bitterly to Bruce. "I find out you're part of a biker gang?"

"You don't become a biker with just one tattoo," said Hal. "You need an entire sleeve of them."

"Don't give him any ideas," Zatanna cautioned.

"You're overreacting," said Clark.

"The world is in a delicate state of balance," said Zatanna. "The very foundations of my existence are being rocked. I'm questioning everything I've ever known."

"I should probably start paying rent for all the space I occupy in your head," said Bruce.

"The tattoo is actually a very sweet phrase," said Clark. "In Kryptonian."

"What does it mean?"

Bruce cleared his throat and shook his head warningly at Clark. Clark grinned.

"It means," Clark said, "My soul is in two halves, and one of them belongs to you."

Bruce buried his head in his hands. Clark laughed. "Like I said. A very sweet phrase."

"You're going to suffer for this," muttered Bruce to him. "I was okay with it, as long as no one knew what it fucking meant."

"Oh stop," said Hal, grinning without shame. "Stop with the toxic masculinity. Just because you have a soppy declaration of love on your abdomen doesn't make you any less of a man." He raised his glass to Bruce in a toast.

Bruce looked at him levelly, and narrowed his eyes. "One of these days, Jordan," he growled, "you will do something, and on that day—"

"Oh, I doubt it," Hal smirked. "I think you've set the bar pretty high."

"Well," said Clark, with a cheeky grin, "Bruce learned his lesson about betting against all of his kids simultaneously, but I would say the punishment was a bit disproportionate to the crime."

Bruce was putting on his t-shirt. "Enough," he said. "No one else finds out, or I will see that you all pay."

"No one else finds out what?" asked Diana from the kitchen door, where she had evidently just arrived. Her arms were crossed against her chest. Barry and Oliver were lined up behind her, with curious expressions.

Zatanna and Hal laughed maliciously. Clark did not look displeased in the slightest.

Bruce's mouth hardened and he stalked off, muttering something about contingency plans. But no one saw the small smile that tucked itself into the corner of his mouth afterwards, when he remembered Clark's face.

Kryptonians. His fingers brushed over the tattoo. And all the ways they love to claim you.

[stolenkissesdiaz]

showing ppl this whenever anyone asks about ‘the gay firefighters’ like here *shoves phone in ur face* get to know them separately and together *makes sure to not tell u the Horrors that are part of the package*