#Nobody else needs to get hurt.
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viaphni · 9 months ago
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Are Light's eyes canonically orange now?????????? I LOVE JT.
But poor soulless though. Man is not good enough to even have his own set of eyebrows. Maybe thats why he wants control of Lights body. All he wants is eyebrows.
I remember we discussed in Discord the idea of like... Soulless gaining control of Light's body... and since Soulless and Light the exact same person, just with opposite goals, Soulless would be able to speak and operate within Light's body with no problem. He would find the outpost and the kingdom and all of their bases, learn all of their plans and intel, and nobody would know
Terrifying
If it's a battle for control, I'm sure they'll be rapidly swapping back and forth. If only Light had listened!!!!!!! I used to make such a big deal about like,, Light always being told it was His Fault even though it Wasnt all his fault. Really ironic because now it is ENTIRELY lights fault
Like.... the only reason he agreed to work alongside Ruin and Fallen was to get his old crystal back. Which i don't exactly understand? His old crystal is significantly weaker and is also fractured/split. I guess its his only connection to himself back home but I thought he didnt want that connection
Maybe Light still does have a level of want for his universe? That could open up an interesting path cor his character. I don't know. I'm really excited to see what goes down from here
Also RR hitting the 90's in episode counts!!!!
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spaciebabie · 27 days ago
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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coquelicoq · 9 months ago
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raksura for the ask meme?
YAY
blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) moon was designed in a lab to appeal to me personally, so. it's about the trust issues!
scrunkly (my "baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) the sky copper clutch!! traumatized children imprinting on a guy with baby fever is usually what i go to fanfic for so to have it right there in canon? incredible. i love all of frost's little tantrums and idk, just the way that she claims moon as her family in a way that has nothing to do with court politics? she's like, we're your clutch, obviously. and this is our court because it's your court, and all the other jabronis who live here are on thin ice. she's ready to throw down with moon's wife/the government at all hours of the day and she's like six years old. i love that moon has that energy in his life even though he personally is pretty confused and exhausted by it lol.
scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) it's hard out here for an ember stan because he is in so few scenes relative to the space he occupies in my psyche! i need 5000% more interactions between him and moon. him and stone. him and shade. him and river. him and the teachers. him and the clutches. him and jade and balm and chime. oh my god him and malachite? him and celadon? him and delin??
glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) niran. i'm always up for a "longsuffering ship captain resigns himself to another restless night of hearing gigantic shapeshifters with incredible stamina fuck nasty on the roof of his cabin" moment. technically i have never been in that exact situation, but i feel like i can relate.
poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) river who is CLASSIC poor little meow meow territory like yes his whole personality is being a grade A asshole and sure he tries to kill my blorbo a few times, but once you get to know him he's so sad and pathetic that i'm kind of like okay where can i sign up to defend him from the largely factual aspersions of his dozens of quite frankly justified haters? he'd hate that. the good shit 👌
horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) stone. every time he crankily says "why did i ever reproduce" upon finding himself entangled in yet another ridiculous clusterfuck thanks to one of his hundreds of idiot great-great-great-great-great grandchildren, an angel gets its wings. he's depressed and antisocial but he can't totally check out because he has to mediate relationship issues between his dumbass relatives. love that for him.
eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) malachite but specifically because malachite would not be scared of superhell. she'd skulk around being invisible, maybe fuck some shit up if she felt like it, and leave when she got bored. she probably makes it like. opal night's sister city or something. and nobody in the court is at all phased. yeah that's our reigning queen who recently got back from vacation in superhell. she does that. she says it's relaxing.
#yooo thank you for asking for this one!! i had already started thinking about it because river is like. plmms of all time for me#he's the platonic ideal of a plmm in my book#books of the raksura#asks#anon#every few months i check the ember ao3 tag to see if there are any new fics and there hardly ever are. but i live in hope#the moon-ember diplomatic attache tag team would be off the chain. it's all i would ever think about#ember was raised to be an imperial consort in a harem drama and he gets there and the empress is just like.#a deadly grizzly bear with no table manners who loves children and can't read and gets his feelings hurt really easily#moon tells him a bedtime story the second time they meet and ember is like#wow i love you. i'd die for you. if you'll be my bodyguard i can be your long-lost anger translator#a match made in heaven 🥰#meanwhile moon is picking up on none of this and is like. well i guess nobody's going to want me anymore now that they have#a REAL consort. he even knows how to pour tea. bastard. but i have to look out for him because he's so young and innocent. dammit#but if anyone actually needs to be looked out for in the cutthroat world of court politics it's moon. and ember is the one who can do that#i love the idea of indigo cloud needing moon to fulfill some diplomatic function and everyone knowing that the only way#to get him to agree is to send ember to point his big sad eyes at him#ember likes to hang out in moon's bower just dressing him up like a doll. moon submits to this with resigned forbearance#if anyone else tries it he bites off their entire head
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starlooove · 3 months ago
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Call me jaded bitter and black but I’ll never care about the nuances of the police fill in on tv. Like we already have to deal with the ‘my dad is a cop :(‘ or ‘my broke brother joined the military’ irl why the fuck am I wasting my brain power on Caitlyn or vi. Like we know materialistically the authority of being a cop can get u what u want faster and that emotionally u either need strict routine with an outlet for ur violence or ur so used to it that u have to be a cop. I still fucking hate u tho like idc about how sad u are about being privileged and I said cop fill in but it’s really every kind of that character on tv like Zuko esque sorry I genuinely have less empathy for you than I do for other people idc
#vis a bit eh#but sorry idgaf about Caitlyn on principal of her being an enforcer#vi can be gay w/ anybody else#do I hate how silco is woobified as a skinny white man especially in comparison to sevika#who arguably has Better morals - if better is defined by not directly doing the MOST heinous shit?#yeah#do I hate how yt ppl are yt ppling for Caitvi and jinx in order to call them revolutionaries or what zaun needs like ekkos not right there?#like his obstacles haven’t been THEM the whole time?#them as in the systems they work to maintain now?#YES#idk shit about season 2 this ain’t about that#if I’m wrong whoops#but yeah I hate that ekko got so little screen time but what little we see of him is taken and jammed into the other characters by fandom#jinx is not a communist bro she’s a white girl who’s mad and gets to break shit for a cause peddled to her by a white man who’s only issue#is his own position in life and fuck everyone else unless it’s to keep them in line and loyal#does she have the potential?#eh. whatever idc#but the whole she carried zaun on her back thing? mm#and it’s not even explored in a humans thirsting for revenge and violence and power fantasies in their idols as opposed to the tangible#change they could make at ground level#ie the idolization of jinx’s act of violence that stemmed from her own feelings of hurt towards her own personal situation which just so#happened to be tangled with the council#vs ppl saying the firelights stopping shimmer production does nothing or their own base is bad bc not everyone is invited. also double#standards. racially charged but we knew that#but yeah not it’s not even explored in that way it’s just genuine ‘the ppl love jinx bc she’s a hero!’ and ignoring ekko and his cause#entirely. do I think this worship could be the shove to rock bottom thatll eventually nudge her in the right direction? maybe idc#but it’s weird that nobody sees this as like weird. like ekkos about that action and has the principals to back it up#like he’s standing on business and jinx is waving a gun around to prove she’s not a naive weak kid anymore and that’s it
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laniidae-passerine · 5 months ago
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decided that in my own personal canon, Santiago’s maker looked similar to Louis, simply because Ben Daniels stated that Santiago was very likely in love with his maker. and wouldn’t it be some kind of torture to fall in love with the man who murdered your first vampiric love? to then watch him fall in love with another, who bears an eerie resemblance to that first love? to be witness to something tender and affectionate blooming, every moment a memory of how none of those you’ve adored have ever wanted you back? it would be agony. it would be torture. god, you would just hate them to pieces, loathing even as you loved them. and you wouldn’t know peace - not until the whole pack of them learnt the horror of love, just as you have.
#I like to think that Santiago was courted by his maker. that it was a genuine interest#perhaps turned to be an immortal companion before his maker saw his mind and past and realised how dull he was#imagine being sold the beautiful dream of having an immortal companion who loves you and chose you out of everyone#to be the only they spend eternity with. forever in the arms of love#just for him to see you. truly see you as nobody ever has. and then instantly recoil#abandon you in disgust. he doesn’t care what you do. he doesn’t care where you go. he doesn’t care what you call yourself. francis.#santiago is a strange inverse of claudia#she is a grown woman struggling against her body - constantly being viewed as her past rather than who she truly is#but she is capable and knowing and refuses to pretend. she is Claudia the adult woman. she is Claudia the cage breaker. Claudia the killer.#while I think Santiago is still deep down Francis. lonely and needy and wanting someone to pick him. but nobody ever will#and so he covers himself up in lies and leather and performs on stage. and nobody thinks anyone is standing there but Santiago#I just LOVE torture. imagine how upsetting all of it would be#he’s still a foul cunt. but god the agony. Armand killing the man he loves. Armand falling in love with someone who looks so similar.#and Santiago can have none of them. will only be touched in anger. so make them angry. get them to touch him.#furious desire to hurt is a kind of desire. he’ll take what he can get. he’s going to get it.#he decides to become the new master of the coven when every part of him is clearly begging#please please please want me take me need me make me yours please don’t turn away don’t pick someone else#he’s so careless with the women because life’s not fair ladies! the powerful want you then they drop you after they’ve used you#if I’m a toy you’re all toys. if I’m used I’ll use up the lot of you.#exactly my favourite kind of guy. wants to be loved eternally would flinch if he received it because what even is this?#santiago iwtv#santiago#ldpdl#louis de pointe du lac#armand#armand iwtv#armand interview with the vampire#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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kinard-buckley · 7 months ago
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a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"
i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm not tagging this bc i don't want it showing up in any show or ship tags but...............................#terrible evil plotbunny free to a good home#nobody ever writes about the friends who get together bc 'why not everyone else already thinks we're dating' and then it doesn't work out#because the dynamic changes SO MUCH that you're not sure if it was such a good idea in the first place#now add a third person to the mix that you like but aren't sure how you feel about them#not sure if eddie would be aware it's casual and non exclusive or if there'd be miscommunication leading to angst#honestly this is just me venting my frustrations with those breakup fics masqueraring as b*cktommy that have tommy#graciously sacrificing himself on the altar of b*ddie's true love and stepping aside magnanimously#that's not interesting to me to read even as a b*ddie shipper#if buck and tommy have to break up let it be real and messy because real people are real and messy#let tommy fight for buck even if it doesn't end up working out#let buck and eddie feel guilty because buck did genuinely care about tommy and eddie does like him as a friend#let tommy cut both of them off because even though he likes both of them he still has feelings and it hurts seeing them together#let tommy be petty about showing off a new love interest or fwb and how much happier he is with this guy than he was with buck#let buck wonder if he made the right choice or not bc he didn't ever want to hurt tommy#he only convinced himself tommy would be completely fine with the breakup because he needed him to be fine so that he could do it guilt fre#let eddie wonder if they made the right choice or not bc while he finally has what he's wanted for years it did hurt someone he really like#maybe it'll all work out in the end for buck and eddie AND tommy but i just want it to feel real and not overly polished and sanitized#and no one is hurt or upset or petty or flawed#anyway#i like mess#don't @ me#i might have to write this now but i don't want to be chased off with pitchforks and torches#text#shut up giallos
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actual-bag-of-salad · 8 days ago
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not to 21 pilots post in 2024 but there's truly nothing like crying and listening to Truce
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junkosblunt · 1 year ago
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Junko: "The most despair I have ever felt in my life was killing my sister."
Mukuro, in the afterlife: "JUNKO LOVES ME MORE! SUCK IT, YASUKE!"
no because i know mukuro’s weird ass was lowkey thrilled when junko murdered yasuke because it was one less person to steal junko’s attention away from her 💀
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lucyvaleheart · 11 months ago
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#sigh. another vent post....#almost getting tired of making these but. I'm just.... I just don't really have much else I can do without botherin people#uh pretty big trigger warning for this one BTW#don't read on if you're low on spoons and whatnot. genuinely it's fine and I will be fine I always am#but like. yknow. when shit sucks it fucking sucks#anyway. uh. I just can't stand the idea that I might be bothering someone#so at least this way my stupid cries for help have a possibility of getting me some without making any specific#person feel obligated. yknow? maybe you see the post maybe you don't#Maybe you don't read all the way maybe you do. either way you can choose if you have the spoons to reach out#without feeling guilty either way. I hope.#.......i kind of want to fucking kill myself again#.....it used to be a much rarer thought. and I used to be much less struck by intense loneliness and longing like this#but I just feel so fucking needy. so desperate for attention and love and it hurts so much if I don't get it#and like. it's realistically nobody's fault but my own yknow... i need to ask for it more. i know that. i just suck at it#and then I can't ask. so I don't get attention. and in turn I feel neglected. secondary. like I'm not anyone's primary focus#and it just fucking hurts so much and it's just my own damn fault and I don't know how to fix it.#......i do. I need therapy I need meds or something. that's the answer here really#picked out a psychiatrist. need to call and make an appointment. but adhd and executive function and anxiety (that last one I need meds for)#mean it's very hard to both remember and then actually perform the task of calling the fucjing Dr#......believe me I'm trying.....like fuck I'm trying so hard.... and I started bawling having seen sparkles and ms robot girl reblog that#post from me about letting prev know you're proud of them. bawled when quinn called me cutie last night. bawled when#ginny said they wished they were here.... fuck me I do too I want to be the focus of someone's attention so so so so badly#fuck#...............it's redundant to say at this point a second time but. goddess above its a little scary how much I wanna kill myself#........sigh#....anyway. please do not feel obligated to respond to this in any way. do what you got the spoons for.#thank you for even reading all of this shit if you've gotten this far. i love you deeply and with all my heart. I'll be fine I promise#won't act on it no matter how strong the feeling is. just.....hurts in the meantime. but I'll be ok. I promise#................fuck. im going back to bed
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armandaughter · 2 months ago
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how does one become available again (made myself emotionally unavailable and got caught up in work and school)
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turigirl · 8 months ago
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ive decided i shall just Not sleep
#moo.txt#im really tired bht i dont. want to let myself sleep#i sont. deserve it#punishment. or whagever#sorry i really do feel bad venting on here all the time because im just forcing everyonr t#*to. well maybe not listen to me but at least look at my thoughts#instead of like just venting to one person or a server or whatever#but its not like i Have anyone to actually properly talk to#im everyones second choice At Best#and this probably sounds depressing but its not like im wrong. whenever i ppst this stuff i get self conscious but im just. saying it how-#-it is.#like yes im just burdening people but thats already what im fucking doing every minute of my life#i could say [REDACTED] and itd probably get ignored regardless so who cares at this point#ive tried so hard to push people away nobody understands. and i keep coming back like a fucking lonely puppy snd just hurting people more#i need to just be put down#i donf know what to do anymore i feel guilty when people dont talk to me i feel guilty when people DO talk to mw because either way its-#-a reaction to whatever ivs said on here typically#i dont Knkw whst i want anymore orher than [REDACTED]#maybe someday ill get angry enough and just stop censoring myself at all but at least right now i wkll#theres no winning with me because its like. i get sent a message About what ive said and i feel extreme guilt. i get sent a message thats-#-off topic and i feel extreme guilt. i dont get messaged at all and i feel extreme guilt#oh whatever im sitting here spiraling and writing a post that nobody except myself is gonna read least of all pay attention to#an extremely suicidal teenager what else is new.
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rubiesintherough · 8 months ago
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zappedbyzabka · 2 years ago
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John “This is your last chance, Johnny” and “There’s nothing I want more than a second chance (with you)” Kreese
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nexus-nebulae · 1 year ago
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Hate Hate Hate "problematic" culture where everything has to be bad in some way because i see one post with a 14 year old calling something random "problematic" but because i have no context i just get a random panic over whether this thing i thought was totally innocent is actually horrible and now i just live in a state of literal constant anxiety about the things i like
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harrylights · 11 months ago
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vampire-nyx · 11 months ago
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I really truly need people to get cooler about people harming themselves and I mean that
We cannot pick and choose what is an Acceptable way to choose to hurt yourself and what is Bad and means you need to be locked up for your own good
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