#abandon you in disgust. he doesn’t care what you do. he doesn’t care where you go. he doesn’t care what you call yourself. francis.

[laniidae-passerine]

decided that in my own personal canon, Santiago’s maker looked similar to Louis, simply because Ben Daniels stated that Santiago was very likely in love with his maker. and wouldn’t it be some kind of torture to fall in love with the man who murdered your first vampiric love? to then watch him fall in love with another, who bears an eerie resemblance to that first love? to be witness to something tender and affectionate blooming, every moment a memory of how none of those you’ve adored have ever wanted you back? it would be agony. it would be torture. god, you would just hate them to pieces, loathing even as you loved them. and you wouldn’t know peace - not until the whole pack of them learnt the horror of love, just as you have.

[rynnthefangirl]

Okay, okay, I gotta be honest with y’all— I am low key a Larra Rogare defender.

Like yes, Viserys did not deserve what happened to him. He should never have been wed and bed by a 19 year old when he was 12, that is absolutely awful and disgusting. And nor did he deserve to be abandoned by his wife, from what we see of him it seems like he really did try to be a good and loving husband.

But Larra was not the one who asked to be in that situation! Her father forced her to marry Viserys, she didn’t have a choice in the matter. Yes, she could have waited to consummate the marriage, but even then you know her father was pressuring her to get with child. Should anything happen to Viserys, a child would ensure that House Rogare’s connection to the Iron Throne would remain. And she wasnt like some 40 year old woman— she was 19! She was still a teenager herself.

Then she is forced to leave her home and everything she knows and loves to come to a foreign land… where everybody fucking hates her. And don’t get me wrong, Larra 100% could and should have made more of an effort. Her disdain for Westerosi culture and snobbish elitism did NOT help her situation, and I think she chose to wallow in her bitterness and contempt instead of trying to make the best of her situation.

But even still, I’m sure it was very difficult, and some of the stuff she is most hated for I can’t even fault her for. Of course she would want to keep her own gods! They mean something to her, just as the Seven do to the people of Westeros! But rather than acceptance and tolerance, the nobility of westeros just despise her, spreading rumors and hate. And it all culminates with them literally trying to kill her! Her father dies, her House is collapsing, her brothers are arrested, and now the Kingsguard themselves are laying seige to Maegor’s Holdfast to arrest and kill her, with only two teen boys and Sandoq to defend her. Then afterwards, her brothers have to leave, and she is left alone to care for three children she never even wanted, one of them being baby Aegon the Unworthy, who was no doubt an utter menace of a child.

I think she was a miserable and frustrated woman, who like so many was forced into a marriage she never wanted to be in. It’s easy to demonize her because in this case the arranged marriage was to a young boy— an obvious victim. But that doesn’t mean that Larra had any more say than if her father had forced her to marry a 60 year old man. Lysandro Rogare was the real villain do that situation, and Larra was a victim of first her father’s orders and later of the xenophobia of Westerosi nobility and Unwin Peake’s schemes. I think eventually she just got fed up with it all, felt like she couldn’t do it any more, and left. It’s just awful that Viserys had to suffer so much in all this mess as well. But I can only blame Larra so much.

[waddlewaddlewaddlewaddle]

ᵤₙfₒᵣₜᵤₙₐₜₑₗy ₛₘᵢₜₜₑₙ ₍ₘₐfᵢₐ bₒₛₛ! Gₒⱼₒ ₓ ᵣₑₐdₑᵣ₎

Summary: Life leads you to treacherous roads after deciding to enter the dangerous life you knew well not to follow.Having gojo by your side inviting you deeper and deeper into all that’s wrong in the world, inciting you to be selfish and carefree wasn’t supposed to be to your liking, so why do you shiver with adrenaline every time he decides to be the devil on your shoulder?

Contents: Mafia boss gojo x secretary reader.(civilian au ig)

-Secret crush Gojo!

-Yandere Gojo

Gojo being an egocentric bitch! Wealthy gojo! X no nonsense reader.

Warnings: trigger warning if you’re not interested in anything mafia related. The narration of this story is inspired by Latin and Asian mafia. Violence and use of blood!

Wc:1.8k

🏷:@busyreader17 @starlight5cat @xavlyzn

(Idk If I was supposed to tag y’all in the new chapter, sorry if it bothers you but I’m kinda new to this whole fanfic tumblr thing 🙈🫶🏻)

Chapter 4

*　　 　　✦　　　. *　　 　　✦　　　. *　　 　　✦

As the busy Shanghai nightlife contrasted your gloominess with its vibrant lights and loud people, you allowed your anger to fuel your fast-paced steps to lead you to your destination.

What destination exactly?

Well…

You didn’t know just yet.

Before you could notice you got lost in the beautiful chaos that is this city, a city where you know no one and all you have on yourself is your cellphone. As you stood still thinking about what your next move should be, then you suddenly smiled at yourself as you remembered you somehow managed to lose that long-legged freak about two blocks ago.

That peace is shortly interrupted as you feel a cold finger touch your shoulder from the Back.

-“I Know I have made a mistake and I’ll accept any punishment that doesn’t include you leaving my side. That one is the most unbearable of them all.”-He muttered as he looked down unable to face your distraught expression.-“Plus did you really think you’d lose me after springing some blocks?”- He said as he returned his gaze to yours.-“ I always come back you know. And for you specifically, I’ll even crawl back if it’s necessary.”

To you it sounded like a joke but you would be surprised if you knew what he was capable of doing for your love.

All you could do was give him a disgusted look as you responded.

-“You make me sick, what’s your fucking problem?! You dare to almost put me and jail and then you show up high and mighty begging for forgiveness?? Why should I forgive you? All you’ve caused me are problems and to your discontent, I’m finally done with all of this.”

He showed a displeased expression as he noticed you didn’t care for his sincere apology, but he wasn’t gonna let this slide so he pulled you into an abandoned alleyway with the hopes that you could talk better.

-“Let go of me! I’m not going anywhere with you.”-you blurted out as you smacked his hand away.

-“Please just hear me out, if you're not content with my apology I’ll let you go.”- He lied through his teeth as he showed you his puppy eyes.He was putting his life on the line with this acting gig , he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you decided to abandon him.

You glare at him in a distrusting matter, but as you recall he’s never been dishonest right up to this moment. So you lower your claws and follow him to where he wants to go.

-“If I’m being honest with you I’m not used to treating normal people like you, I’m used to treating thugs who wouldn’t give a damn if they lost everything in a second. So I could say that I did what I did thinking you wouldn’t care for much for it, now l know it’s not an excuse and I’ll have you know that I take full responsibility for my actions and that I-“

Gojo was interrupted during his speech by a rustle at the entrance of the alleyway.

The next thing you know a beer bottle is being thrown next to your head, you can’t help but scream out and duck to the floor trying to process what just happened, your boss turns as he feels for something under his coat, scanning the area for danger.

As the steps, Drew closer a group of 3 tough -looking guys stomped in, each of them playing with a different weapon in their rough scarred hand. As they targeted the two of you with their eyes the tallest who seemed to be the leader ultimately spoke.

-“Finally I catch you two alone, sorry to break up your lover's quarrel but me and that albino bastard have some business to tend to. So I’ll let a fine lady like yourself leave, but you.”- He spat out as he pointed a flick knife directly at gojo.-“But since this cheating mother fucker doesn’t know how to respect my boss’s territory. I guess I’ll have to teach this preppy son of a bitch some respect.”

You looked up at Gojo for some sort of response but all he did was stare at the offender as if he knew something the other party didn’t. As if this confrontation was an opportunity instead of an inconvenience. An opportunity to let go of all of his pent-up frustration, an opportunity to let all his raw, nasty feelings out after caging them up for a gentleman-like facade for your pretty self.

-“3 against one. Your boss’s a bitch for sending you all to do this.”-Gojo said as he looked around for something, as soon as he found what he was looking for his eyes sparkled. He crouched down and cuffed up his charcoal grey suit up to his elbows revealing a tattoed forearm twisted with black and white thorns.

As the tall figure in front of you grasped a long metal tube; he flexed his veins in the dim night light. In your time meeting him you never thought that he had all that ink under those tailored designed suits.

-“Awww how cute gonna defend your girlfriend? If you feel the odds against you; we’ll let her join, we won’t be too hard on her.”-The offender slurred as he looked at your trembling frame, hugging your knees as if you could hide like a ball.

Cold sweat adorned your forehead as you pondered the chances of getting out of this one alive, you couldn’t yell out for help or call trusty Geto without the gangster knowing. All you could do was pray that Gojo could land a hard punch and that your quivering knees wouldn’t give up on you if you managed to run away.

Next, their leader clenched his sticknife firmly in his hand as he launched forward at Gojo, but to your surprise, your boss swung back the metal stick as if it was a baseball bat that then struck the poor man’s head; his head bounced at impact, the force of the hit forcing his body to slum against the brick wall.

-“Gojo!”-You yelled out in horror with the hopes that all this nightmare and suffering would end in a second.

-“Sorry baby, please turn away. Who hits first; hits hardest.”-Grumbled the icy-eyed man as he looked back at you for a split second he wore the biggest smile on his blood-splattered face.

As soon as they saw their leader down the two henchmen tried to attack Gojo but before they could get close enough your knight in rusted armor whacked the pole against oh the guy's stomach causing him to hit the ground in excruciating pain as he grasped his stomach, next thing you know the other guy has his knees shattered as is now sobbing as he clutches his legs, rolling in pain.

You didn’t want this, this isn’t what you had planned, all you wanted to do was explore the city, but before you could continue to lament yourself as you lay there in shock looking at the agonizing figures before you. The noise of the metal stick hitting the ground interrupts you. Slowly your boss starts to get closer and soon you smell the blood reek on his tux.

Before he could say anything you lunged to hug his built torso as you cried into his chest smearing mascara all over the expensive cloth, he felt his heart flutter at the feeling of having you all on him in a disheveled matter. And as soon as he hugged you back, all the chaos was worth it for him. He would beat up as many guys as necessary just so he could sense your small frame quiver under his touch as you looked for solace in him.

And if you were being honest, you hated to admit it but you felt protected and cared as he combed your hair with his slender fingers. Your cheeks blushes as he planted a chaste kiss on the crown of your head.

Sniffing his cologne mixed with sweat and blood wasn’t all that bad if he continued to Pat you back with one hand as he swaddled your face with the other. Maybe you were taking advantage of the situation but your heart felt full and warm as he coddled you in his arms.

But as if god heard you and punished you for your thoughts he promptly stepped away to look into your teary eyes and say.

-“C'mon princess, we gotta leave this place.”

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

It is currently 12 am and you are back at the villa, as you try to comprehend all that just happened, Gojo swipes a warm wet cloth across your face attempting to remove your ruined makeup. The bed sunk under his weight as he carefully tugged your eyelashes under the damp towel to get you as clean as possible as he sat beside you in clean fresh sweat.

Geto stands beside him as the guilt eats him up for not protecting you as he should have.

All he did was run to your rescue as soon as his best friend gave him your location. But in the end, all he felt like was a useless piece of shit, as he stared at your puffy eyes his cell phone rang in his pocket, he then promptly exits the room putting the bowl on the nightstand so he could take the call and not bother you any further.

As your boss notices you start to yawn, he quickly stands up to cover you with a fluffy blanket that is laid at your bed rest.

-“I feel pathetic, You're the one that saved mebut here you are tending to me.”-You mumbled as you looked up at him with doe eyes.

He just grinned and patted your head.

-“I was the one who put you in that mess, so in the end I hope you find forgiveness in your heart for an idiot like me.”- He responded as he scratched his undercut.

You managed to let out a chuckle.

-“You saved my life, I guess we can call it even then.”- Even though it cost you to say that in the end he deserved it. You knew what kind of business you were getting into , and even though he lied to you, he defended you like nobody would. But you still had it crystal clear that is he slipped up again , you would be a goner

His heart melted as those compassionate words left your mouth, he knew he wasn’t worthy of forgiveness. But as you indulged his sins he couldn’t help but love you more than yesterday. He knew he was in debt to you, and it just so happened that he was a man who liked to pay his dues, so he promised to himself that he wouldn’t let anyone including himself hurt you. Even if it meant following you around the world like a shadow, he was willing to make that “sacrifice”.

-“Well after hearing you say that; I guess I can sleep in peace tonight. Goodnight sweet thing.”-He voiced as he rubbed your cheek with his callous thumb.

As he turned to head to the door, your small hand pinched the back of his shirt to his attention. He swiftly turns around and he raises an eyebrow in a playful matter as he waits for you to voice out your need that stopped him from heading to his bedroom.

-“Can you stay here with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

*　　 　　✦　　　. *　　 　　✦　　　. *　　 　　✦

A/n: omg that was crazy , I tried to write this chapter as realistically as possible since I haven’t been in a gang fight yet but if I am I’ll confirm or deny the readers pov. I hope you guys enjoyed it and if you have any comments or request please let me know it really motivates me to hear back from you guys. Till next week kisses!! 💋🥰♥️ I’ll finish editing the font tomorrow it’s 3am as I’m writing this I’m so sleepy zzzz

[lordsukunas]

tldr: suguru as a child/early teenager and his journey as a sorcerer after he meets you, his new neighbor.

cw: mentions of vomiting, not in-depth. not edited, not beta-read, rushed, and possibly ooc suguru. gender neutral and sorcerer!reader.

a/n: sigh... i’m so tired. probably when i wake up i’ll actually edit it, but i just needed to get something out, so maybe consider this a lil teaser...? i might make a second part expanding on how he ends up going to jjt n then whenever he defects, but im absolutely exhausted rn. exams have been kicking my ass </3 + im going to a festival so this might not be edited for a lil while longer. sorry yall!

a part of me thinks suguru would live in some small, unknown little town. the people are closed-minded, content with the life they’ve built for themselves, and they don’t want it to change. if you’re born there, it’s hard to get out, especially with such few opportunities. it’s a town meant to keep aspiring little doves caged within its walls.

so imagine some six, maybe seven year-old boy going around saying he sees monsters sometimes. of course, the first conclusion any adult would reach is that the poor thing is having nightmares. he’ll grow out of it — all of them do.

but suguru doesn’t.

he’s afraid to sleep at night, and despite his parents’ pleas for him to sleep in their bed, he says that he can’t. “what if you get hurt too?”

they end up having to sneak melatonin in his dinner to get him to sleep at night.

when he turns eleven, he gets a grasp on his technique. he has to eat the monsters, consume them so that they don’t go out and hurt anyone else. that’s easy enough, right?

for the first few weeks, he vomits. they taste disgusting, like dried, crusty rags used to clean up puke and shit. but he has to do it, he has to! otherwise, who’s going to keep his innocent parents safe?

so he keeps going. exorcise, consume, puke. exorcise, consume, puke. exorcise, consume, puke.

exorcise and consume.

then, at age twelve, you come along.

you’re like the sun peeking through the dark clouds after days full of rain and thunder. a breath of fresh air, a sugary treat to balance out the saltiness of this shitty town.

you move into the once abandoned house right beside his, a radiant smile on your face and eyes twinkling with determination.

beautiful, perfect, normal.

the two of you click almost instantly, although suguru’s a little reluctant at first — what if you think he’s weird? his parents and teachers say he’s a bit troubled, nosy neighbors joke that he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic, and bored grandmas claim he’s been touched by the devil. despite their rumors, despite suguru’s reputation, despite the fact you two are polar opposites, you don’t avoid him. in fact, it’s like those things just entice you even more.

“suguru.”

the fear in your voice catches him off-guard, and he stops walking. your hand grips the hem of his jacket, and your finger slowly raises to point towards the corner.

“what is that?”

it’s a crude thing. skin a dingy shade of purple, stubby limbs twisted and contorted into impossible angles, and jagged yellow teeth that poke past its thin, cracked lips.

that’s when he realizes it: you can see them too.

he’s not alone. finally, fucking finally, suguru geto is not alone.

by thirteen, you and suguru are attached at the hip. there’s not a day where the two of you don’t see each other, even when you get grounded for accidentally breaking a bathroom stall trying to exorcise a curse.

they’re so ungrateful.

he’s tainted your image. you were once normal, the cute neighbor nextdoor, but now you’re best friends with suguru, the pretty boy with the strange bangs and broken mind.

you don’t care though, and he loves that you never have.

nothing can separate you. you go to school together, take the same classes (thanks to suguru modifying his schedule), walk home together, exorcise curses together.

you’re all he needs, and he’s all you need. you’re the only ones who understand each other on a fundamental level, who know each other inside and out, down to the very last atom in your bodies.

with you, he’s sure that he can snap the chain and leave this place, to soar so high in the sky that there’s nothing and no one left but you and him.

you hand suguru his slushie, and he takes a long sip, letting the sugar-filled drink wash away the lingering taste of today’s curse.

“sometimes, i think we’re kinda like batman and superman.”

suguru can’t help but scoff. “us? you think we’re superheroes?” how unsurprisingly childish of you.

you nod, snapping your kit-kat bar in half and taking a bite out of it. “yeah, dude! we fight alien bad guys with our superpowers. pretty cool, right?”

he leans back, legs spread and an arm resting on the back of the bench. “sure, but they always get rewarded for saving the day. what do we get?” he doesn’t wait for your answer. “nothing.”

a small frown flits across your typically cheerful features, and suguru wishes he could shove his words back into his mouth and down his throat.

“mm... i think we get stuff. we get to see our parents safe, and even if no one else here really likes us, they’re safe thanks to us, too.” the toe of your shoe traces shapes into the pavement. “we’re the only ones that can do this, suguru. it’s our duty.”

right. duty.

suguru hums, but you can’t tell whether it’s in agreement or not. you decide that it doesn’t matter, that he’s just thinking like always.

“wish i was rich, though," you joke and pop the rest of your little kit-kat stick into your mouth.

after a moment, he shakes his head and takes a sip of his bright purple drink. “me too.”

[i-cant-sing]

Hi. So I found this

And you can’t tell me that it doesn’t scream Fushiguro Reader’s drip. She could be wearing the most expensive kimono for her birthday (courtesy of uncle Naoya) but what stood out the most was her footwear. People are supposed to be GUSHING over the kimono but they cant help stare at her sandals

Fushiguro reader is just slurping up her noodles, not caring for manners while everyone stares at her feet

And uncle Naoya is sharpening his blade cuz they being creeps for staring at his niece’s feet

And that was the only time Fushiguro reader didn’t cause her usual chaos because I feel like she loves her uncle enough that she’s willing to offer him some peace and mind on her special day because he became her mom AND her dad ☺️

Platonic Yandere Uncle Naoya x Fushiguro reader

Oh yesss 100%. I mean just imagine that its reader's birthday (who is either a teen/adult now) and Naoya already gifted her the kimono the day before her actual birthday, and by now reader knows that she has to wear it because its a tradition- every year, Naoya gives you a kimono for your birthday (which is the first of many gifts he has for you) and you have to wear it for the birthday portraits he has commisioned for and its followed by a big party at night at home, so yeah... its the same every year because according to him "this is how rich people celebrate their birthdays."

You only comply because he lets you do anything you want for the rest of the day before the big party, plus you do love your uncle. I mean, even if he's an ass sometimes, a misogynist to everyone else, a walking red flag... he still raised you like his own, provided you with all the luxuries and a comfortable life, even after you were "abandoned" by your father. In his own way, you know he loves you and only wants the best for you.

Anyways, its the morning of your birthday, the maids have just finished dressing you up and doing your hair and you go to the living room for your pictures, and as expected the rest of the clan is already there, smiling widely as they all gushed about how pretty you looked in traditional clothing and its a nice sight to see you out of your Hello Kitty shorts and a hoodie with Naoya's face edited on a cockroach. They all start coming towards you, wishing you a happy birthday and envelopes with wads of cash, the females kissing your cheeks and cooing how cute you looked, while the men stiffly patted your head.

After the portrait and family pictures are done, its time for you and Naoya to do stuff you want while the family prepares for your big party.

You're both sitting in the car as the driver takes you to your favourite place- 7/11. "Do you like your kimono?" Naoya asks, looking out his window.

You nod. "I do. Thanks. Its really comfortable."

Naoya turns to look at you. "It better be. Its Chanel."

"Its definitely better than the snakeskin Gucci kimono you got me last year."

"I thought you'd like to know how it feels." Before you could argue, your favourite convenience store came into place and you were already out the door before the car had even came to a full stop, making Naoya yell at the driver for not getting the child locks installed.

-

Naoya could only watch in disgust as you ate downed another bowl of instant ramen before moving onto another one, the noodles smacking against your cheek as you slurped hard.

"Ugh." Naoya cringed as he picked up a napkin to wipe the residues off your face. "Why must you eat so messily? Do I need to send you to table etiquette classes?"

You just shrugged. "Its fun this way." You picked up another onigiri before inhaling it.

"Oh my- can you stop eating like you dont know where your next meal is coming from?!"

"Can you stop screaming? This is a public place, and you're disturbing everyone with your screeching." "You brat-" "Buy me some instant rice. I need to add it to my soup."

As Naoya is walking towards the aisle, grumbling about how this chemical pumped liquid full of MSG that you kill "soup" is gonna kill you one day, he notices some people standing in the corner and just staring at you- or more specifically, your feet.

And thats when Naoya notices those pink monstrosity of sandals.

What's worse is that these people are just gawking so openly, hell they even have their phones out and taking pictures of your feet and its driving Naoya absolutely bonkers because what kind of feet fetish creeps are these guys (some of them are just old grandmas, but Naoya does not discriminate. Everyone's a creep.)

Besides, he doesnt know how long they've been standing there. For all he knows, they could've taken pictures of more than just your feet and Naoya doesn't remember giving them the permission to fucking look, let alone record you!

So, naturally, Naoya stomps over to you and tells you that you need to leave now. Upon inquiring, Naoya tells you about the "creeps" who have been recording you all this time and what not and you just shrug.

"I'm not leaving. Besides, it doesnt bother me."

"Y/n dont start-"

"Cant you take care of it? I thought you said youd let me do anything on my birthday." You take the rice from his hands and dump into in your soup. "This is all sounds like an excuse for either your jealousy because I'm the one who's taking the spotlight or your inability to protect me, hm?"

And Naoya knows- he KNOWS this is your unbothered ass doing reverse psychology on him, but it works.

Because now Naoya has taken their phones, smashed them to the ground until they were pieces and then immediately bought the whole store so that these creeps can be thrown out.

-

"See? I can take care of you. And you wish I was jealous of you."

"Mmhmm." You hummed as you ate your ice cream. The whole store was now empty, so you could eat as much as you wanted in peace.

Naoya narrowed his eyes. "Besides, those sandals were not a good decision. Who let you walk around like that?"

"Your hair is not a good decision. Who let you dye it that color? Does everyone in the hate you so much that they let you walk around like that?" You countered.

"You brat, you're lucky its your birthday."

"I'm also lucky I dont look like a bleached rat, unlike some people who thought that was the shade of blonde they wanted their hair to be."

[mental69er]

freshman!cate dunlap but it’s her first time at a college party, and everyone had basically abandoned her to go around on their own. she’s all alone, slightly tipsy, maybe high on whatever pill she took—tugging on her little gloves to make sure she doesn’t slip up.

we’re older, a junior maybe and we spot her from across the room.. one thing leads to another and we’re in a bedroom alone with her. she’s on the edge of the bed, looking up at us with those big baby blue eyes that would make anyone melt—we ask her if she’s a virgin, and her answer?

a lie because she wants to seem cool and experienced in front of an upperclassman, or the truth, maybe.

content: freshman cate, junior reader, gn! reader, nsfw, fingering, making out

Cate washed down the bitter taste of her friends ditching her at the senior's party with a swig of the artifically sweet fruit punch. She pulled a face at the awfully sweet taste and held the cup tightly in her hand before slumping against the wall, feeling her head spin.

She'd taken one of her friend's pills, a white unmarked little tab in the hopes that it would make her have fun. But with her friend group dispersing as soon as they entered the private house, Cate was left by herself, with no one she knew.

She was too shy to go and speak to anyone. It was the whole reason she wanted to be with someone she knew. That and because of her gloves. She tugged the edge of one of them, making sure it was firmly on her hand, as if it had disappeared in the few seconds she wasn't looking at it.

Her gloves were firmly on and blurring slightly. She squinted her eyes at it. Huh, the pills and alcohol were finally kicking in. Maybe she could relax.

She observed the downstairs room around her, noting people dancing, laughing, and some even making out with one another. She longed to make a human connection like that. Years locked in a room had stunted a lot of normal teen experiences for her.

Jealously her eyes swept over the way people casually touched each other, smiling into the actions, dancing without a care.

She took another sip of her drink and scrunched her face up again. It never got any less sweet.

"It's disgusting, I know."

A voice from behind her startled her and she turned to see it was you, talking to her. You were dressed casual, white tee and sweats, not at all fitting a party. You leaned against the wall next to her, cup in your hand.

"I'm friends with the guy who made this, and I told him not to do it. To use something better, but he said free booze is free booze and that no one would care."

For a second her mouth felt dry and she panicked because she didn't know what to say. "I care."

You chuckled and she blushed, wondering if she had said the wrong thing. But you didn't leave, instead staying by her side. "I've never seen you around before. Are you a freshman?"

The two of you tried talking over how loud it was, but soon yelling over the music was becoming an annoyance. The two of you moved to a bedroom upstairs, where it was quieter to continue conversation.

Cate sat on the edge of the bed, fidgeting. She'd seen enough movies to know how this could go. Her stomach tensed as her body felt flushed. She wanted to try that with you. You were hot and easy to talk to, and she wouldn't mind you being her first. It'd be a fun experience, just like everyone else got to have.

You irritatingly stayed standing, not sitting down on the bed by her. How could she get you to come over? She batted her big blue eyes up at you and could see the gears in your head stop as you noticed her action. The cup was forgotten halfway to your mouth.

"Um, do you want to-?" she figured the best way to get somewhere was to ask. And if you rejected her she could just blame it on the drug in her system.

You set the cup down by the nearby drawer, sliding your hands into your back pockets. "Are you a virgin?"

Not the question she was expecting. She was, but she didn't want to seem uncool. You were a junior after all. Or maybe you'd be into that thing?

She wasn't sure, so she settled on coy, biting down on her bottom lip. "Why don't you find out?"

You cocked a brow at her, tilting your head to the side, letting your eyes rake over her body slowly. She felt herself heating up. You looked hungry.

"Who am I to turn down someone as adorable as you?" You stroked a hand down her cheek and she felt her eyes flutter. She couldn't recall a time when anyone had touched her willingly. She instantly craved more.

You straddled her lap, settling your weight neatly onto her thighs. Her hands slowly came up to your hips, heart racing in her chest. She'd seen enough porn to know what to do, right?

She was nervous but too excited to want to stop.

You tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and leaned in to kiss her, going slow, taking the lead in the kiss. Your hand stayed in her hair, other hand on her shoulder holding her steady.

Her lips were soft under yours, tasting of the sweet alcohol and her lipstick. Her lips mimicked your movements, keeping up. She seemed hesitant, unsure. You licked across her top lip and felt her breath stutter. Her cheeks had taken on a red blush and her eyes were closed.

She was too adorable. You might have to see Cate for a repeat performance. Especially because you could tell she hadn't done this with someone before.

Cute.

You'd have to teach her.

You kissed her more deeply this time, tilting your heads to the side, flicking your tongue against hers. She moaned, squirming under you. You could feel her pulse pounding under your hand as you slowly slid it up her neck.

She pressed closer to you, trying to increase the fervor of the kiss, but you didn't let her, opting to tease her with delicate tongue brushes, until she had to pull away.

"Fuck," she gasped out, needing to catch her breath. Her blush had spread all the way to her ears and there were tears in her eyes.

You pressed a kiss to her ear lobe before gently biting down and felt her whimper. "Oh Cate, something tells me you're going to need my guiding hand in the upcoming days."

"What do you mean?" she asked, biting down on her bottom lip, hands squeezing on your hips, as you gently grazed your teeth down the shell of her ear.

"It means I'm going to need to fuck you several times." You whispered into her ear. She shuddered at the phrase as you slipped a hand down between your bodies, expertly undoing the button and slipping your hand into wet heat.

"You're so turned on and we've barely done anything,'' you noted, nosing at her ear, pressing a kiss there as she bucked into your touch, wanting more from you already. You circled her clit a few times before gently entering her with one finger, drawing a low whine from her mouth.

With your weight on her lap, she was limited to how she could buck into you, and it was delicious how frustrated she got that she couldn't take you any deeper.

You could imagine sinking three fingers into her, spreading her wide. You wondered if you could fit four fingers into her with training. The thought made you shudder with pleasure and you began to push into her harder. Next time. You didn't want to over do it on your first time with her. Already you could feel her cunt spasming around your finger, her neck lolling back as her eyes fluttered.

"Does that feel good?" you whispered, biting gently on her lobe. Her hands hung loosely on your hips, back arching as she whined in answer. She was close.

You slipped another finger in, crooking it just right, thumb gliding over her clit. She exploded with a gasp, spilling all over your hand, back going stiff.

You pulled your hand out of her cunt, watching the sticky release roll down your palm. You sucked your fingers into your mouth, moaning at her taste. Your own body throbbed with need and she watched you with half lidded eyes as you licked up every last trace of her, chest heaving with arousal.

"I think we should finish this back at my place," you said, wanting and needing to take your time with her in your own bed. You wanted the sheets to smell like her for hours after you were done.

She eagerly nodded her head and you couldn't help but smile and kiss her pouty full lips. If she was this adorable and you had only fucked her lightly, you couldn't wait to see how she looked like, fucked fully.

[theemissuniverse]

“MY HAPPY PLACE” AUGUST X SUNSHINE! FEM!READER

A/N : I don’t think anyone is going to read this because tftbl is so underrated but I’m bored soooo

WARNINGS : nsfw headcanons, MDNI

You and August? Nobody would have ever guessed you two were a couple. No one would have even assumed you two were a couple.

The two of you, surprisingly, were together since you were thirteen. At first it was just silly kid love but now that the two of you were grown adults, it turned into something serious.

August wasn’t expecting himself to fall in love with someone like you given you two were complete opposites. But he was. Madly in love with you. Even if he had a hard time of showing it. He was.

You were also the only one that could put August in check. That was something other people realized quickly.

You were only person allowed to kiss August, hug him, show him compassion and sympathy. Otherwise he didn’t care about it for anyone else.

“Be nice.” You told your boyfriend. You two had successfully kidnapped Fiona, Rhys and the rest of their friends while trying to unlock a vault.

August scoffed, crossing his arms. “I am nice.”

“To me.”

“Yeah, because you’re the only one that deserves it.”

You giggled a little and leaned over to give him a kiss on the lips. August accepted the kiss and pulled you closer to him.

The ones you kidnapped? Were further in the room and looked in complete confusion and disgust. “How did they end up together?” Rhys asked distraught.

“Talk about opposites attract.” Fiona mumbled.

You pulled away from him and walked out of the room. August turned towards the group and he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “You people figure out a plan or what?”

“Do we have to suck your face too to get treated like a human being?” Sasha asked sarcastically.

August gave her a look full of disgust. “Don’t make me puke.”

SFW HEADCANONS

August is protective but doesn’t breathe down your back. He knows you can handle yourself and that you don’t need a babysitter. But if anything were to happen, he’d burn the whole world down.

He isn’t the biggest on PDA but doesn’t mind to kiss you in front of everyone or even slap your ass.

He doesn’t really get jealous because he knows you love him. He’s more so just moderately irritated when he sees a man flirt with you or have a crush on you.

Which brings him to Rhys. He can tell Rhys has a crush on you because well, he is a man, and he’ll just roll his eyes half the time he sees you interact with Rhys. He’s not worried though.

While he may not be jealous, you are the one that is despite you being the more level headed one in the relationship and will all the time make remarks about him with other women or even Sasha. This annoys him because he genuinely doesn’t like any other women and has to remind you that he’s the one in love with you.

At first it was hard to get him to break his walls down but once you break them down, he is non stop saying he loves you. It kind of freaks people out seeing him so lovey with you and at the next minute wanting to shoot everyone in the face.

August doesn’t ever let you sit in a seat and makes you sit on his lap all the time.

He loves when you play with his hair. It releases some stress he’s feeling.

He has a rule where you two can never go to bed mad or walk out the door mad. He has abandonment issues so even if you’re extremely mad at him, you are forced to sleep in the same bed as him. Also if you’re leaving and are mad, you still have to tell him you love him.

August rarely gets mad at you. Or even irritated with you but if he ever does, he just needs a little space.

With how handsome August is and him owning a bar, he gets a lot of women trying to flirt with him. A lot of the time he gets really disgusted and just rolls his eyes. He’ll tell them he’s taken before walking away.

You on the other hand get the worst out of it because there’s a lot of drunk men at his bar that are not afraid to flirt with you openly. When August sees how uncomfortable they’re making you or if they make physical contact with you, he kills them instantly.

Speaking of, while you know you have to kill to survive on Pandora and do it out of necessity, August some times just kills if someone pisses him off which you don’t like. He tries not to do it in front of you.

August always kisses you on your knuckles.

When August messes up in the relationship, it’s hard for him to say he’s sorry but he will say it. If that doesn’t work, he’ll shower you with gifts to the point where you stop giving him the silent treatment and actually talk to him.

NSFW HEADCANONS

August is the dominant one in the relationship. While he is submissive to you outside the relationship like getting you anything you want and wanting to do things for you, August takes complete control in the bedroom. He is never really submissive but he’ll let you get on top of him though.

He loves to eat you out and probably prefers giving to receiving. He just loves making you feel good.

August prefers your ass more to your chest. He just likes grabbing it and giving it a smack and it happens frequently.

He’ll talk you through it. All the time. He sees how much it makes you squirm and loves seeing you all wind up. He’ll always praise you. He’s not the one to really degrade in the bedroom but if you ask then he’ll do it.

August likes all the sex positions to be completely honest but if he had to pick one, it would be cow girl. As dominant as he is, he loves when you ride him and seeing your chest bounce up and down. He’ll mainly have to help you through because the pleasure is too much for you to keep up the pace. Seeing you struggle turns him on even more.

He isn’t really into hurting you in the bedroom but if you ask him, he’ll do it.

He loves when you beg to cum. Not that he ever denies you. You’re just so desperate to cum on him and it turns him on so much that he is ready to cum inside of you.

Considering you’re in a long term relationship with him, August just prefers cumming inside of you. He doesn’t mind if you get pregnant and actually wants kids. Also it’s just hotter to do it inside of you.

He loves eye contact. He forces you to look at him through out the entire time and if you cum without looking at him, then you have rounds until you do.

2 times out of 10, you have to initiate intimacy. August gets turned on just by looking at you and is always on the go to have sex so you’re never really the one to start it.

When he is feeling he wants you to take control, he doesn’t mind if you tied him up to the bed.

August has a lot of stamina so he’s willing to go a long time until you want to stop.

He can cum just by looking at your body but even when he cums too quick, he keeps going until you do. If he can’t get back up, he just settles to eating you out.

He loves thigh riding. He’d watch you cum on his thigh every day if he could.

He loves when you leave hickeys on his body. Not until does it feel good but it looks good on his body.

[daisymintt]

I have too many ideas for Merlin fics so I’m just gonna dump them here, if you write one please tag me I’d love to read it!

• Arthur is seen as a traitor to the crown and is about to be killed when Merlin saves him and they go on the run and become some of the most well known bandits in Camelot, the Fallen Prince and his Warlock (inspired by Americano by Lady Gaga)

• A beast that feeds off magic goes to Camelot and takes Merlin, Arthur and the Knights embark on a rescue mission

• A visiting Noble introduces a new “sport” to Uther, sorcerer hunting. In which a captured sorcerer is released into the woods with only the clothes on their back and are hunted down by knights and specially trained hounds. Intrigued, he partakes of this “sport”. Merlin is disgusted and goes into the forest to help them escape only to become the prey. Will he be able to keep his magic secret? Or will he be doomed?

OR

• Merlin on the run inspired by the song Run Boy Run

• Rumor Has It/Rumor Mill, a bunch of different rumors start cropping up in Camelot varying from absurd to believable

• A visiting Lady takes a shine to Merlin, Arthur gets jealous.

• Arthur and Merlin are on a hunting trip and stop at a tavern. While there they overhear a local ghost story about an ghost that of a Lady who lived in the manor up the street. Her husbands kept dying “mysteriously” and she went mad with grief. They say the manor is haunted. Merlin takes it seriously and Arthur teases him about, later they go to the abandoned manor and have an encounter with the ghost. Get trapped in the manor. The ghost carries a bloody hatchet. Nearly takes Arthur’s head off. Similar to Constance Hatchaway.

• Stardust AU

• Arthur follows in his dad’s footsteps and sets out to kill the last Druid, a boy called Emrys. Little did he know that his friend Merlin was that druid. Inspo: Still/Neva Flows Reprise

• 1920’s America Merlin runs a speakeasy

• Gaius is away dealing with an outbreak of sweating sickness at a border town leaving Merlin as acting Court Physician while he’s away.

- A visiting Nobel lady goes into labor, Merlin has to help her.

• Merlin catches a cold yet refuses to stop working, his magic is also affected. Every time he sneezes something magical happens leaving chaos in his wake. His magic stops reacting when he Gaius sneaks him a sleeping draught mixed with some cold medicine (or at least the medieval equivalent that addresses the symptoms), Arthur not so subtly frets about Merlin’s wellness.

OR

• Merlin overextends his magic and when he gets back to Camelot he tries to do a small spell and it doesn’t work, discovers he has a “Sorcerers Cold” it doesn’t affect the physical body but the magical one. In other words, how magic is on the fritz until he can get some proper rest.

• Last Night Gus episode where they super drunk and wake up in weird places. They spend the day trying to piece together what happened last night

• A sorcerer disguised themselves as Merlin to get close to Arthur

OR

• A shapeshifter that appears as your hearts greatest desire appears as Merlin to Arthur and lures him into a trap, Merlin has to save him. Classic who’s the real Merlin scenario where Arthur has to ask a question that only the real Merlin would know the answer too.

• A vampire arrives in Camelot.

• Merlin’s shadow has the wings of a dragon, Arthur notices

• Merlin and Arthur have been arguing over something for a while now, Leon is tired of being stuck in the middle of it and traps them in a room. He refuses to let them come out until they figure out whatever they’re fighting about. (Ten minutes in the closet trope)

• A drunk Merlin finds himself in Arthur’s room, Arthur takes care of him. Merlin is very affectionate when drunk. (Inspo: bad idea right? By Olivia Rodrigo)

• Merlin and Morgana are friends and Arthur is jealous of there close bond, Arthur thinks that they’re courting and confronts Merlin about it.

• Morgana or someone casts a spell while the knights, Arthur, and Merlin are asleep on a quest that joins their dreams together. Merlin is very skittish afraid that he may accidentally reveal his magic. Inspo: A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill! Season 2 episode 19 of Ducktales.

• 5 weird places Merlin has fallen asleep and one not so weird one (it’s Arthur’s bed)

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Silvans find Maglor, part 1 (my au)

Legolas didn’t know how he got into this situation. He doesn’t know how he ended up in Imlardis, practically begging Lord Elrond to take his dad back because Maglor would. Not. Stop. Wailing. 

He would like to blame Lasgen for the problem. But then he’d have to blame every single elf that was on her squad when they were doing a routine check up. And then he’d have to blame all the elves who had a hand in healing Maglor, and all those who agreed to keep maglor in Mirkwood. And his father because, elf who gave birth to him or not, Thranduil was a little shit who had no problem putting his kids into the line of fire.

All to say that everyone had a hand in what lead up to the current situation of Legolas trying not to loose his mind over the pure bullshit fate liked to spit at the Silvans.

Akami help him, he was to sober for this.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I suppose we should go back a few months in order to explain exactly how we ended up here.

It was a standard routine survey of the coasts of Middle Earth, simply to see if there was anything the silvans needed to keep an eye on in addition to Sauron and his bullshit, and some of the Avari sects that the Silvans didn’t have an alliance with. 

Being a silvan was hard, don’t let the Noldor tell you otherwise.

Lasgen, oldest child of King Thranduil, was leading the party at a steady pace along the beach. The sun was shining, the wind was a nice breeze, it was fucking hot but you wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at the scene.

And the narrator is sleep deprived so if the narration doesn’t make any sense, she doesn’t care. I assure you.

Where was i? Oh yes. The weather. It was horrible, but Lasgen and her warriors kept on moving. And eventually,

Eventually, they came across a mound of ratty hair, scrappy cloth, and dried up seaweed that stunk more than a skunk with diarhea. Lasgen was debating simply ignoring the offensive smelling mound or practising some civic duty by shoving it into the ocean or burning it when an unintelligible garble rose from the pile. She supposed that it could sound fagually like a song, if you took ten steps back, cocked your head, closed your eyes, a payed attention to only every second note. 

Grimacing, she brought the group to a halt before disembarking from her horse and slowly approaching, trying desperately not to inhale anywhere near the abomination.

She grabbed a stick and poked at the pile. One poke, two poke, three poke. Groan. 

Ok so there was definitely something alive under all the ratty scraps.

She held her breath before quickly reaching forward into the pile and yanking at the solid mass in the center.

An. elf. 

There was an akami forsaken elf. In a pile of such disgusting stench it made horse poop smell nice. 

How was there an elf there? Why was there an elf there? Surely they would have at least managed to keep themselves moderately clean or in contact with one of the elven settlements. They weren’t even that far from the nearest one, surely they would have been able to make it to the harbors if they tried.

Wait.

Wait.

WAIT.

An elf. Near the ocean. Looking like the gods themselves went out of their way to trash him. Making weird gargling noises that could, barely, pass for music.

“Oh my god, why do i always find the weird ones?” Lasgen looked to the sky, begging for an answer she knew would not come. She turned to her squad, who had abandoned her to the stench and stayed a nice distance away. “Please tell me one of you has some nice deep reaching scents on you that will make it bearable until we reach back home. And some clothes? Anything to make this sad bag of bones more bearable.”

[merwgue]

"Not until the doors are truly closed"

@sjmvillainweek

The courtroom smells of polished wood and dust, like a place abandoned to ghosts. I sit, bound by chains that seem heavier than anything I’ve worn before, heavier than even the weight of the power I once held. My wrists burn beneath the iron cuffs, cold metal biting into my skin. It’s a subtle kind of pain, almost beneath notice—until it’s the only thing you feel. But I don’t flinch. I’ve lived through worse, far worse than what these chains can do to me.

I lift my head, my gaze sliding to the towering wooden doors behind me. Locked, of course. Heavy and immovable, just like the fate that presses down on me from all sides. The room is full of eyes—eyes that watch me like I’m the most disgusting thing they’ve ever seen. As if I am the monster in the story, the villain they’ve all been told to fear. The whispers of the courtroom scrape against the air, like the buzzing of flies over a carcass. They’re here for the spectacle, for the final scene in the tragedy they believe my life has become. But they don’t know me. They never did.

“Amarantha.” The judge’s voice is like a blade cutting through the silence, sharp and cold. It’s a command, a summons. My name, spat like a curse from his lips.

I lift my chin, forcing my gaze to the front, to where they sit in judgment of me. The panel of fae judges—regal, powerful, and oh-so-righteous—watch me with eyes that gleam with hatred. They are the picture of justice, cloaked in the certainty of their own superiority. The gall of it all, to sit there and pass judgment, as if they aren’t every bit as corrupt, as guilty, as me.

The prosecutor rises. His robes rustle with a kind of self-importance that would almost be amusing if I didn’t know what was coming. He doesn’t look at me—why would he? In his eyes, in all of their eyes, I’m already condemned.

“Amarantha,” he begins, his voice slick with the confidence of someone who believes they’ve already won, “is charged with the most heinous of crimes. Crimes that have stretched across courts, across decades. We all know the stories—how she seized power, how she enslaved fae-kind beneath her boot. She ruled through fear, through brutality, leaving nothing but devastation in her wake.”

His words echo in the silence, each accusation like a lash. I feel the eyes of the courtroom pressing in on me, their silent agreement, their thirst for my blood. They don’t care about the truth, about what lies beneath the stories they tell themselves to sleep easier at night. They want me gone, erased from their perfect little world.

He continues, listing each crime like a litany. The deaths, the torture, the tyranny. All of it tied to me, the Butcher of the South. The Destroyer. And isn’t it funny? Funny how they never speak of how it all began. Of why I became the thing they fear. Because that would mean admitting that they played a part in it. That they created me.

The chains rattle as I shift slightly, the cuffs digging deeper into my wrists. I can feel the blood there, sticky and warm, but I don’t flinch. I don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing me in pain. Pain is nothing. Pain is what happens when you’ve been torn apart, piece by piece, until there’s nothing left but the empty shell of who you once were.

I was whole, once. Before all of this. Before him.

I glance at the door again, at the guards who stand like statues, their eyes cold and empty. There’s no escape. Not from this room, not from the chains that bind me, and certainly not from the memories that won’t stop clawing at the edges of my mind.

The prosecutor’s voice fades into the background, a dull hum as I sink into myself, back into the places I don’t let myself go. Back to the beginning, before the chains, before the courtroom, before the judgment.

Before I was the villain.

I was a girl once. Stupid. Naive. Filled with a kind of hope that makes me sick to think about now. I believed in things—love, loyalty, him.

Oh, how I believed in him.

I gave him everything. My trust, my heart, my soul. For him, I became more than I ever thought I could be. I fought for him, stood by his side when no one else would. I thought we were building something together—something real.

But then, one day, he was gone. And with him, everything I had been, everything I had given, meant nothing. I was nothing.

They don’t understand that, the fae who sit in judgment of me. They don’t understand what it’s like to give everything you have, only to have it torn away. To be reduced to a shadow, a ghost of what you once were. To be abandoned. Left behind.

That was the day I realized I had to take what I wanted. I had to make them see me. I couldn’t let them forget me, couldn’t let them erase me. So, I became what they feared. I embraced it. Because in the end, it was better to be hated than to be invisible.

And now, they sit here, pretending they didn’t create me. Pretending they aren’t complicit in every drop of blood that’s been spilled.

“We are prepared to sentence her,” the prosecutor says, and the courtroom seems to still. The tension thickens, like a noose tightening around my throat. “For her crimes against the courts and fae-kind, we propose death.”

Of course, they do. Execution. A clean end, a neat little solution to their messy problem. They think killing me will erase the past, erase all the ugly truths they’ve buried under centuries of lies. They think ending me will make them righteous again.

The judge looks down at me, eyes cold as the iron that holds me. “Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

Defense? I want to laugh, to scream. But I don’t. What would be the point? They’ve already decided. I’ve been guilty in their eyes since the moment I walked into this room. Nothing I say will change that.

I lift my head, meeting the judge’s gaze. “You think this is justice?” I ask, my voice steady, calm, despite the storm raging inside me. “You think killing me will fix what’s broken in your world?”

His jaw tightens, but he says nothing.

I smile, a cold, bitter thing. “You want me to beg for my life? To justify myself to you? I won’t. Because I know the truth. You all do.”

The courtroom is silent. No one moves. No one breathes.

“You created me,” I say, my voice a whisper, but it cuts through the silence like a blade. “You don’t get to sit there and pretend you’re better than me.”

The judge shifts in his seat, discomfort flickering in his eyes. But it’s gone in an instant.

“You’re wrong,” he says, but his voice lacks conviction.

I laugh, a hollow sound. “Am I? You think I was born a monster? I became one because of you.”

The guards step forward, their hands reaching for me, ready to drag me away to whatever fate they’ve decided. But I’m not afraid. I never was.

I look at the doors again. The heavy, locked doors. And I smile.

Because I know the truth.

Not until the doors are truly closed.

OMGGG, firstly I wrote this with my BOYFRIEND, because yes guys I have a BOYFRIEND, And we went out for breakfast today, anywhoo, this is another law inspired fic, its honestly just about how amaranthas journey truly isn't over and like, how people tricked her into becoming evil (hybern) and how the same ppl that tricked her are now blaming her

You get the gist, hope you love it kiss kiss

[hope-to-hell]

The difficulty of taking what you really want. Travis Hackett x Reader. Smut, pegging, implied age gap. It’s never too late to teach an old dog new tricks.

—

When you float the idea he goes all deer in the headlights, blush creeping up from under his collar. He’s not disgusted—poleaxed maybe— spluttering a bit before he gets out a what? I, um. No… no thank you, and so you let it lie. There’s plenty else you can do, after all. And anyway you’re well distracted before long, once he starts peeling off his shirt with that boyish grin that makes him look twenty years younger.

Were you a greaser? I bet you were, leather jacket and jeans, causing trouble down at the drive-in and—

Hey now, how old do you think I am?

Just messing with ya. Still think you’d look fuckin hot in leather.

There’s a span of weeks when he’s turning something over in his mind, now and then making that rumbling hmm over coffee at his desk, or as he’s moving slow and lazy in ya with your back pressed against his chest.

You think too much.

One of us has to.

And so time passes until the question just faintly brushes the back of your mind, until the lights are low and he’s nosing at your neck. I want you to, he says, and you can feel the heat radiating from his cheeks.

Gonna have to be more specific, T. Pulling it out of him carries the risk of Travis simply retreating into himself, but this is part of the dance: the I want that becomes we need, the shyness spiraling out into abandon— because he is shy, no matter what he or anyone else says; he dreams of rain in the pines and not another soul around for miles— but all this hinges on him speaking his need.

I— aw fuck. I want you to fuck me. His words are breathy on the exhale, wispy almost; it’s that little voice whispering I want, I want, peeling back the ingrained layers of good boys don’t do that, laying bare the part of him that dares to take what he wants. This won’t be a grand event; there will be no rose petals or candlelight; he is a skittish thing and so he will try to stay at the very edge of the light where he can let his needs unfurl. But he is the center of your attention here whether he likes it or not; he takes a breath and lets you lay him down.

You don’t have to say I’ll be careful but you do say easy does it when you’re slicking him inside and out til he’s nearly more lube than man; he’s had a finger in him once or twice but the promise of more has him breathing openmouthed, canines catching at his lip. I gotcha. Here, check it out— and you’re closing his big rough hand over the silicone cock, feeling the tug of leather against your skin as he hefts it, pursing his lips such that you can practically hear the gears turning in his mind.

And if he twitches a little at the way you’re petting at his insides, it doesn’t last because at last he’s drifting in the rare pleasure of being cared for, rocked now and again by the uncertainty of this unfamiliar ground. Feels— weird. Exposed? Like I’m more naked than I’ve ever been. He shifts, canting his hips up just a bit; he could be chasing sensation or trying to evade it, and so you have to ask.

Hey. We still good?

Golden.

Okay, then. Lie back and let me blow your mind.

Smartass, I oughta— whatever he meant to say dies in the harsh wet gasp that punches out of him when you steady the toy against his ass and slowly push inside. It’s not from pain but rather from the sheer overwhelming scope of sensation that he has no reference for, and so all he can do is drop his head back among the pillows and feel.

‘Salright? His answer is in the way he reaches for you, threading a hand between all your tangled limbs til he can grip at your hip, catching at the leather strap. His pale arm tenses bowstring-tight with the force of his need; he’s beyond speaking but his body speaks more clearly than he could, his cock twitching and jerking against his belly. Stroke yourself, gorgeous. C’mon, let me see, you look so fucking hot when you let go. And when he does let go— when he sheds the final scrap of oughtn’t, shouldn’t, mustn’t and clothes himself in pure naked pleasure— when he takes himself in hand and his breaths falter out of rhythm, that’s when it happens.

It’s the smallest change in angle, a shift of your hips that rips a startled, wide-eyed oh from him. There, huh?

I— fuck. Fuck. Again, more— and of course you’re gonna give him what he wants, what he needs— unh— he’s been wound so tight for so long, he deserves this mindless pleasure, the wet sound of skin on skin as you push him hard toward the edge— fuckfuckfuck— the stoic in him has combusted and all that’s left is this mad dash to— ah— to—

and he falls.

He’s still twitching but you’re already halfway out of the harness, wrapping yourself around his thigh, and he slots against you so perfectly, slippery with spilled lube and your own need; the hair on his thigh gives just the right amount of friction and it’s no time at all before you’re following him down.

In the loose-limbed aftermath he’s hazy, drifting; his fingertips brush against your cheek as he’s mumbling cmere. Scootch up. He’s so warm, slick with sweat and fluids but you fit so perfectly against his side. It’ll be worth having to peel yourself off him later; for now he’s slipping into sleep with one arm draped across your belly. For now, there is no thought, no worry— only rest.

[mari-lair]

Aye is me again!

I was just wondering if you had any theories on what Teru's dream involving Aoi may be. He says she's necessary for his dream and I wonder if its because she's a direct descendant of the kannagi line?

I hope his dream includes Akane too bc even if they won't end up together I just KNOW they'll be besties either way (am soft for Akane being the 1st person he shows his true self to outside his family)

Hello! :D I have no hope Aidairo will treat this sub plot with care, (or any plot that includes Aoi) so this will be more of a rambly analysis than a theory.

I am inclined to believe Teru’s dream doesn’t have anything to do with her Kannagi blood because of how he approaches Aoi compared to Nene.

Nene is also a Kannagi, but Teru never searches for Nene or gives her much thought, he even let her have a crush on what he sees as a dangerous supernatural since it is what she wants so who is he to reprimand a dying girl? Whenever they are together he flatters her but never asks about her life or tries to make her linger in his presence. 

He does show interest in Nene being a Kannagi but it does not feel like he sees her as a weapon or an important tool that he can use to achieve a ‘goal’. She is still a ‘silly girl’ or a ‘funny girl’ in his mind, someone he is kind to when they are face to face, but he doesn't go out of his way to do much for her.

Aoi is canonically very hard to get close to, so trying to 'be her friend just to use her later’ would be contrived and too stupid for a character built up to be smart, considering Nene (who had a crush on him throught a big part of the manga) would be a far better target to get his hands on Kanagi powers.

Teru actively goes out of his way to try to learn more about Aoi and make her stay with him, even if he has to resort to manipulation, he will do it to spend more time with her.

It also bears mention that Akane's tactless way to ‘woo’ Aoi is what he hates the most about Akane. Not Akane supernatural contract or, any of his behavior with Teru, but how he approaches Aoi:

Teru trusts Akane, but he gets disgusted with how he put her on a pedestal, how his obsession gets on creepy territory at times, yet, when Akane and Aoi work things up and are able to properly communicate, Teru gets grumpy and mopes about their almost kiss. A kiss that shouldn’t be significant if what he was interested in was her Kannagi status.

He listens to Akane go on and on about how ‘sweet and kind and pretty’ Aoi is without ever shutting him down, and despite loving to annoy the clock keeper, he never disagrees or implies that Aoi isn't as amazing as Akane claims, so he does have a very positive view of Aoi.

I can’t say for sure what his dream is, but it feels related to Aoi as a person, not her blood or ancestors. Is a desire of his own.

Minamotos are very connected to supernaturals, and they are pushed to put their duties first, but being disconnected from other, and able to have a level head in dangerous situations doesn’t make them any less human or emotional: They value their family, their friends, their desires, occasionally putting them above their job for selfish reasons.

Now let’s talk about a theory Maagi shared with me, that the more i thought about it, the more plausible it seemed: If Teru was in love with Aoi, it wouldn't be the first time a Minamoto fell in love, or at the very least, was very attracted, to an Akane.

The manga makes a point to heavily imply that Kanagis usually live with loved ones at the start of their lives, and that even in the old ages where Sumire’s story takes place, it's seen as cruel to abandon a child so young.

They mention her family wanted to ‘get away from her resentment’ but considering how oblivious and happy she had been to “marry God”, eager to declare a demon her husband, it is far more likely they wanted to get rid of Sumire for reasons out of her control, like her bloodline.

From Sumire pale eyes, which have hints of the Akane purple we know, but is mostly blue, to her expertise in using spiritual tools (from her knife, to bracelets, to even a protective barrier)  it’s just far too much of a coincidence.

Even her personality seems like a mix between Teru and Aoi.

And I can see the argument that her exorcism tools are things that every Kannagi can use, since Aoi can use them too, but it is still strange that Sumire has so many tools associated with the Minamoto clan, when every other sacrifice has none. Not even a bracelet.

The bracelet is not part of a Kannagi’s uniform. Or a precaution of No.6 that comes with his duties. It’s a Minamoto’s gift. Which makes Sumire feel more personal than ‘just another sacrifice girl’, like her protection matters for someone.

This leads me to how Teru gave Aoi a bracelet the second she got mixed with supernaturals, and let her keep it,

He never offered this kind of protection to anyone else, not even Nene, the girl that lives in danger.

So even if the fandom will cry at the idea, there is a lot to indicate Teru is genuinely interested in Aoi. The seeds are there, Aidairo was just clunky when hinting his interest (I’m still baffled an interaction as important as the convenience store one is in a spin off.)

And I am sure his dream includes Akane! Akane is his best friend, even when he wants to spend time with Aoi, he isn’t opposed at all to Akane tagging along.

He values Akane in a completely different way than he values Aoi, but is so clear he has tons of fun with the two Aois!

(There is a reason I would be chill if his crush was either Aoi or Akane, he acts in such a way that no matter who he has a crush on, it is still obvious he really values them both)

[damn-stark]

Hi, i know that you're currently hiatus on aot fanfic but can i have more backstory about Cherry and Levi in No Regret arc? Cant help but thinkin 'bout soft levi taking care of us, Levi need more huggies. Gonna sobbing myself at the corner while waiting for the final season to be released.

Psst sorry for the bad english and grammar

TAKES PLACE DURING CHAPTER 1 OF CHERRY

———————————————————

Our little life

A/N- so Bella’s back? (Tell me that you know where that’s from)

Warning- FLUFF

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x fem!reader

Takes place- Before No Regrets Arc

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

It’s been what? A few weeks since you came into his life—or since he’s let you stay in his life.

He can’t say you’ve changed much, you’re still just as quiet with most of the words that come out of you being ‘yes’ and ‘no’. It’s like you're almost scared to say too much. You also still don’t seem to know your own name, nor do you utter your parent's names, or actually ask for them. You don’t move much which was good for him.

You do eat though, everything he served you you ate quickly, which kept him busy because he needed to remind you to eat slower or you’d choke and die.

He also bought you a cheap doll but you hardly paid any mind to it, instead you passed your time watching the window as if you were waiting for someone to come. Probably you’re good for nothing father.

Oftentimes Levi will find himself worrying about you, but he tries not to. Life underground is hard, especially for children, there might be a chance you don’t survive past a certain age so he’s trying to keep his distance, but he does worry that you might really hate living here. Furlan says to give you time to adjust, but it’s been weeks.

Maybe he should leave you an orphanage, at least there will be more kids your age there. You’d have friends, and who knows there might be some super slight chance that you’d get adopted by some nice family trying to stroke their ego, or you can even get picked up by the military above ground so you can die for them when you’re older. You’d be better off in either setting.

Then again…

Those chances are slim and you were left for him to take care of. And he doesn’t owe Kenny any favors, he isn’t taking care of you because of him, but…he can’t show Kenny that he couldn’t take care of a kid, he needs to prove to Kenny that he can be what Kenny never was.

Plus his mother would've taken you in without a doubt…

But! This raising a kid thing is harder than he thought.

“Damn,” he sighs and lolls his head to the side to ponder when he should be sleeping.

Nevertheless, a few minutes later the door to the room creaks open, and out you come dragging along the blanket on the ground, and your eyes droopy.

You stop past the door and rub your eyes before they adjust on Levi. “Dark,” you mutter and catch him by surprise.

That’s the only thing you say before you slowly walk over and climb on the couch to lay beside him with your head close to his lap.

That catches Levi by surprise too, but soon he feels discomfort that you were…finding comfort so close to him. It’s weird. Plus you took over his room, why aren’t you there?

“Go back,” Levi commands as he scoots away so you won’t touch him.

You drag yourself up like a worm to be closer to him and you talk back. “No. It’s dark.”

You’re talking. He just heard you talk!

It’s weird.

Thus he gets up instead and walks into his room to finally lay on his bed after days of abandonment all so you could be comfortable. But now he’s on it again and he missed it. He likes his bed, as hard and thin as it is, he likes his bed and not the couch.

However, before Levi can close his eyes the light coming from the living room casts a larger light as sees you walking in.

“Uh.”

You hop on your feet and cling onto the sheets to climb up.

“What are you doing?” Levi asks with what was almost disgust in his voice.

Albeit you don’t answer now, you lay beside him and throw the blanket over you.

“It’s not dark out there,” he sasses you. But again you ignore him and close your eyes, so now Levi slides himself off the bed and once again walks away to leave you be. He even leaves the door open this time hoping that would be enough light for you.

Now perhaps he can finally get some fucking sleep? It’s been a long day especially because he hasn’t slept in a while.

So he closes his eyes and lets out an exhausted sigh. Nevertheless, only moments later the patter of feet against the wooden panels approaches the couch, so he opens his eyes and there you are once again climbing up on the couch next to him.

There’s so much space on the other side of the couch but, no, you lay your head by his lap and quickly throw your blanket over yourself. So now what can he do? It doesn’t seem like you listen.

This is why instead of spending more time walking off he reaches over for the top of your head and pushes you away. You snap your eyes open and look up at him as you’re being easily pushed away and can’t help but laugh.

You laugh for the first time since you were left at his doorstep. It’s short since you quickly cut yourself off to fall asleep as if you had been knocked out, but you laughed.

It’s such a simple thing. So mundane…

Yet when he leans his head back and closes his eyes he can’t help but let a faint smile tug on his lips because he made you laugh.

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @expectoscamander @greenygreenland @that-soft-lesbian-friend @dai-tsukki-desu @usernamehere91 @avocadopoosae @romancried @victor-criss-bish @moo-moo-meadow @stareatceiling @padfootii @ravensleepyeyes @thanosisadilf @dawneee @babyyblueey @leahseclipse @ifimnotabushimnoone @luvelyxp @ameliabs-world

[stevieschrodinger]

Potential trigger warnings; Steve is a child, Eddie is an adult alien; Eddie essentially claims Steve as his mate (absolutely nothing sexual happens) but Steve doesn't understand this and obviously can't consent. What happens is completely culturally acceptable to Eddie and totally normal. Discussion of, basically, biologically changing Steve on Eddie's say so for Eddie's convenience; again, completely normal and culturally acceptable to Eddie. Blink and you'll miss it mention of M/Preg. I don't know how else to TW this; proceed with caution.

“Here, Commodore.”

Ek’dli-ke examines the images carefully.

“You have been awarded the choice of any single individual,” the Operator reminds them needlessly. They know. Their injured appendages still throb in their bindings. They are still unmoored; unbalanced. They were repeatedly told they should not be moving about so soon.

They don't care.

“What are they again?” they ask, almost absently. They are vaguely aware that this is a great honor; access to brand new, malleable genetic material. It doesn’t feel like it though. For everything they lost in battle, the damage done to their still healing body, nothing would feel like adequate recompense for what occurred. This feels, if anything, like a bribe.

No one had expected them to survive; that's why they had been left. Clearly they greatly underestimated Ek’dli-ke. And now their silence is being purchased with a mating. What would the galactic host's population think if they found one of their own engineered warriors had been abandoned so blithely, and not only abandoned, but left for dead after a battle of the Host's own creation.

This feels like an insult, but Ek’dli-ke will take it anyway. Their career has been ended; their title is now nothing but a platitude. Their injuries are excessive; they will never battle again. They will never mate one of their own either; not with missing limbs and hideous injuries. They would never be accepted as they are; the strange little aliens on the viewer are now their only route to reproduction.

A fact their erstwhile superiors are no doubt fully aware of.

“Humans,” the operator speaks, voice everywhere and no where. The vibrations are irritating, almost painful, on their still healing membranes. “Their people put high value on certain metals; individuals were happy to give up their young.”

“In exchange for-” they force themselves to bite it off. Keep the disgust inside. What kind of species gives away their young for inanimate objects? Barbaric. They busy themselves with absorbing the data, forcing themselves to concentrate on the purpose of their visit, “their life spans are alarmingly short.”

“Easily rectified. They are malleable on a molecular level, the potential for change is...great.”

“Offspring?”

“Largely they are culturally divided into male and female, although it is difficult to tell the difference at this age while they are clothed; should you choose a male he can be adjusted to carry for you. Now is the ideal age to begin the process. However, you should be aware that if you do choose a male, they may need more intervention while they are gravid. It wouldn’t be a problem.”

Ek’dli-ke clicks in thought. “How long until mating for offspring is appropriate?”

“Physically at least two galactic cycles, however the culture of where this particular group was collected has a legal framework in place to protect those they consider too young to give fully informed consent. Should you choose to respect that it will be closer to four cycles.”

Ek’dli-ke starts to shrug, but the pain reminds them of their injuries and they abort the motion. It makes no difference to them, “I will respect it.”

Ek’dli-ke watches the Human young move about on the viewer a little longer; they appear to be playing, chasing one another. “I would need to move amongst them.”

“Of course,” the Operator moves without moving, and Ek’dli-ke hides their discomfort. They have always found the Operators to be highly unsettling.

They are...loud. And very small. They come in an array of colors, and most have strange tufts of fur growing out the top. Their eyes are too small, their appendages too few. Ek’dli-ke has no idea what use they will have with one of these as a mate.

Never the less, the Operators coding never lies; one of these will be appropriate.

They seem to shy away from them, understandable, Ek’dli-ke cannot imagine how they would appear to them. Apparently their species had barely made it to their nearest orbiting moon; they had not known other life even existed.

They must have gotten over their surprise very quickly.

One of them approaches, only to be pulled away by a different one. A little larger. Pale, with brownish fur on top. “Don’t! Monster!” Ek’dli-ke’s translator provides. The small human thinks he is protecting the others. The little Human is accurate with their assessment; Ek’dli-ke has been called far worse than a mere monster in battle.

Ek’dli-ke makes themselves smaller. Curls up and sits, pulling their appendages in close; they are still twice the height of the largest human young, “I will not harm you,” he tells the brave one. The protector. He reaches into his dress robes, “here.” They are watched carefully by the huddled group of young.

The brave one approaches cautiously. So small and delicate. Ek’dli-ke opens the package, it is but fructose and water made into brightly colored shapes, but the Operator had assured them that the Humans react favorably to food; particularly sweet foods. The brave one takes the package; returns to the others.

Ek’dli-ke watches as the small human shares them with the others before taking any for themselves. It summons an unfamiliar...fondness within Ek’dli-ke. They find themselves...charmed, by the selflessness. This Human will do well when raising young.

If they must choose one; then perhaps that one.

The Human returns, “is there more?”

Ek’dli-ke produces the second packet without question. This time they watch the small human consume a few themselves before sharing the remainder. Strange; they shove them into the same hole the noises come out of.

The brave one comes back, “what are you called?”

“Steve,” the small Human moves like he doesn’t yet fully have control over their own body. Fidgeting. Pulling at the generic white coverings they are wearing. The same as all the Humans are wearing.

“I am Ek’dli-ke.”

Steve’s face does something quite spectacular, scrunching up, before they uncertainly try, “Eddie?”

“Yes. Yes, Eddie will do. Come here.”

Steve’s skin is...surprisingly soft. Eddie pulls Steve closer, wrapping all parts of themselves gently around Steve so as not to startle them; Steve emits a noise, wriggling. It’s high pitched, irregular. Laughter, their translator implant provides; joy. Steve’s skin turns pinker, which is fascinating, and they gasp for breath, “stoppittickles!”

Ek’dli-ke goes still and Steve settles into the curve of their hold. Ek’dli-ke leans forward; tastes the skin he can reach. Steve starts wriggling again, laughing, “gross! Stoppit!”

Yes, Ek’dli-ke thinks approvingly as the knowing of Steve’s taste washes through them. It sinks deep; is accepted. Burns itself into every molecule.

Steve has a small wriggling appendage in his food and speech hole; the equivalent of a mouth, Ek’dli-ke’s translator provides again. Steve in turn touches the part of Ek’dli-ke they can reach leaving a trail of moisture behind. Ek’dli-ke shivers uncontrollably at the flavor Steve has gifted him. Steve goes limp, eyes going very very large, “oh,” he says.

Ek’dli-ke vibrates in agreement. Steve giggles again. Ek’dli-ke decides they like it.

The Operators were correct, and Steve has already returned their advances; their reaction to Ek’dli-ke’s taste is more than favorable. Steve is numbed, no doubt, if their receptors are working correctly.

If Humans even have them. Hopefully they do, Ek’dli-ke does not wish to cause Steve pain.

Ek’dli-ke brings forth his inner most limb; Steve watches wide eyed as it slithers along their skin. The two appendages Steve seems to use for touch separate into ten smaller, wriggling appendages at the end; Ek’dli-ke by passes those, just in case the next part causes harm.

He applies pressure further up; the fleshy stiff part, either side of where it bends. Steve makes a noise, but does not react unfavorably; they must have working receptors and the numbness from the first taste of their mate must be working. Ek’dli-ke watches their mark bloom on Steve’s pale skin. Steve’s body has accepted them without question; a more perfect match for mating Ek’dli-ke could not have asked for.

“What’s that?” Steve asks, rubbing at where the glittering fractals and facets now decorate a large swathe of their appendage, “pretty.”

Yes, Ek’dli-ke will take this one, a more beautiful and solid mating mark has never existed, they are certain, “it means you are mine.”

[late-night-stars1]

Five and lila was… unexpected

[!TUA SEASON 4 SPOILERS!]

I wanna start with the fact that I do not agree with the people saying “this butchered fives character!” nor do I agree with the people saying “Oml this ship is so perfect!”

truly, I think five and Lila make sense. But not quite in the couple way?

I mean, I adored watching the two of them play chess or help with personal hygiene or cook/eat together. But with the context of sexual and romantic tension, kinda ruined it for me.

because, well, it just felt rushed and weird. We see very few scenes of the two intersecting in this way, and when we do it’s in brief flashes and later on during some weird pout of fives on the subway! So to say I felt like I had whiplash from their relationship is an understatement.

the whole cheating thing is a whole other level, because personally anyone who is a cheater is disgusting and immediately someone I hate/dislike (of course there are some, very very few, instances where I can forgive or at least understand the cheating). And that is no different for five or Lila, because I think both are horrible for

1. Lila cheating on Diego with his BROTHER (adopted but still!) no less! And I get it was 7 years BUT she still wanted to get home, she still had hope, doesn’t that extend to her husband? I know they were fighting and Lila wanted to take a break, but unlike with Rachel and Ross who were dating, A BREAK IN A MARRIAGE IS NOT AN IMMEDIATE DIVORCE! So please, stop saying it was all perfect! Cause it was not. Diego and Lila would have probably broken up despite the fact that I and many others wish they wouldn’t (both are too stubborn for couples therapy, probably), but only after that would it have been better for her to start pursuing five in that way, and vice versa.

2. Five abandoning all regard he may have for Diego. Like I get it, it’s 7 years, and Diego may not be your favourite person or even someone you’d be okay with spending extended amounts of time with, but he’s still your brother (adopted or not!). And by gosh, doesn’t that count for anything?! I get it, you and the one lady who understood how your situation works we’re stick for 7 years with only eachother, but dude, she’s MARRIED to your BROTHER with 3 KIDS! (At least I think there’s three, I really only know the name of one of them………) Cmon…

truly, this season could have benefitted from this, I think five and Lila are cute. But idk, maybe give us some more time with them? (I understand they had less episodes, but we also got like 20 minutes worth of Klaus just flicking a lighter in a grave! Love y’a Klaus, sorry!) Or just, hmmm, I’m not sure, make it platonic? Or maybe make the two kiss and then have that epiphany of “oh wait! I still have a husband!” And “my brother is your husband!”. And then have them be all weird about it, let the fanfic writes squeal and add on to it or whatever they want, and not traumatize the other majority of fans who fully do not and cannot support the ONE ship that is pedophilic both ways!

I’ve got so much more to say on this, but I’m tired and I truly could care less.

all in all; if you don’t like the ship, don’t interact with content about it. If you like the ship, don’t interact with content bashing it. It is a VERY controversial ship, and while I say “whatever floats your boat”, that does not mean shove your opinion in other peoples faces.

everyone needs to grow up, and everyone needs to understand that this is what we got, and this is what we’ll continue to get. Do or don’t read the fanfics (there are so many) that endorse and give SO much more attention to these two (five x Lila), and leave it be!

sorry about all this! I’m just so tired of seeing this sh*t everywhere, there are so many more pressing matters in this seasons writing, timing, spacing, and overall execution! Cmon guys, leave the ship thing alone and focus on how they just said “your trauma and everything you’ve endured to get to where you are means nothing. You have to die for the world to be a good place. You are the thing that is wrong. The world never has and never will need you.” cause WHAT THE HECK

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Warning: Venting, moaning, and spoilers ahead. Enter at own risk.

You know, after watching 73 Yards I had a LOT that I wanted to write about. Stuff about the themes like abandonment, but also about science fiction vs fantasy, the need for answers vs the desire never to know, eerie atmosphere vs cool rationality, blah, blah, blah.

But I’m a week too late. That’s old news now, it’s Dot and Bubble time. And I don’t have the time and energy to say much except…

OMG! Did RTD always have such an unrelentingly bleak and cruel vision of human nature??? I mean, okay, we had a woman heroically staying to take care of babies in the goofy first ep, but we also had a world that would abandon a bunch of babies to die. And the last two episodes…

73 Yards depressed me in a way no Doctor Who ever has. I’ve seen every episode that still exists, seen the recons of the lost, listened to every Big Finish audio over it’s first 14 or so years, and read the “wilderness years” novels like popcorn. I mean, I have absorbed so damn many Doctor Who stories in every medium that I wouldn’t know how to count them. Some were dark. Some were depressing. Some were miserable in every way.

But this….

73 Yards made me wonder if there was no damn point in me keeping on living.

Ruby’s plight resonated far too deeply.

Alone and upset she makes the mistake of stepping of going into pub where the locals, in a display of cruelty **that reminded me why I never go into small local places, deliberately scared and then mocked her. Then her life gets soooo much worse as everyone she loves and everyone she turns to for help ends up turning on her. She isn’t merely abandoned, she is treated with complete disgust and with not even a hint of compassion to soften it. She is haunted by the “ghost” of herself, an embodiment of both a mistake of her past and her future death. This “ghost” becomes her only companion as her life speeds on to the always lonely grave. Every birthday is her all alone, no friends, no family, just her and her always distant “ghost” self. And then she grows old and “dies”. Always alone…

99% of my time is alone. I have no friends to turn to. Every friend I ever got close to ended up leaving me. Heck, even online friends always just go away without a trace. I’m in a rural area where the community I’ve lived my entire life had never made me feel included. Back in school once a year I’d get shunned for not being a Christian as they rediscovered it, and the rest of the time there was mere bullying, mocked and belittled, for all the other things that marked me as an outcast. My family were outcasts too, for that matter. My family, where Mom is the only one left who loves me, just a frail voice on a phone I can no longer reach out to. My brother has openly wished me dead and doesn’t want me setting foot in his home, telling me constantly how worthless and disgusting he finds me. Everyone else I’ve loved is dead or gone away. Every birthday is alone, and I’m increasingly aware I’m spiraling to my own death…

No one. Never anyone. Never able to make new friends. Doomed to isolation unto death. No friends. No family. No help. Just me and…..me.

Yeah, it got to me. Ruby gets a moment of using her pain for good, and the reward of a do over. But that’s fiction. My “ghost” self offers no chance to do good, and when I die I will simply rot away (or burn, if whoever gets stuck with disposal duty decides to cremate me. They’d probably just flush me down toilet if I would fit! LOL)

And I thought, ok, maybe that’s just me. Maybe most people won’t feel borderline suicidal as escapist entertainment rubs salt in very open wounds.

But then I thought about the harsh cruelty of the world in the story, the complete lack of warmth and hope. Hell, our heroine stands by and lets a young woman get (strongly suggested) abused by a man she KNOWS is a baddie simply because she needs to prove that that baddie is bad enough to deserve what she is about to do. So even Ruby is a terrible person deep down, tainted by a world devoid of love to the point of treating people as test subjects.

Okay, this is bleak stuff. Great episode, even if I am ambivalent about that all fantasy/no explanations take on Doctor Who.( It also joins things like Grave of the Fireflies on my “Great but NEVER watch again!” list. ) But it’s surely won’t be so dark next time.

Oh dear.

So in Dot and Bubble we get a world of the young and privileged living in their social media bubbles (oh, very subtle), completely unable to function in the real world to the point of being unable to walk.

Okay, that’s not bleak. A bit cynical and harsh, kicking an easy target, but dark comedy material. And the obnoxious gal we are following will surely come to her senses, learn to connect with people, will be grateful for help, and…

Oh. OH!

This is THAT kind of story. Where we are reminded that people are essentially selfish and shallow, where they do things against their own best interests out of things like snobbishness, and the one decent human being we meet is doomed to death by betrayal.

Okay, now the question is, which do I find bleaker. The “you are doomed to always be isolated” episode or the “most people don’t even deserve help” episode.

People complained about the ending of Boom being sappy, but TBH it was kinda a relief for Moffat to pop in and say “Ok, look, love will give you at least a pseudo happy ending now and then. Now don’t go slitting your wrists at the utter nastiness out there…”

And the RTD whispers “I’m not saying slit your wrists, I’m just saying that if you do no one will care. The hysterical laughter at snot monsters and musical diva gods is just the universe having a nervous breakdown in the dark, but that’s fun, isn’t it?”

I’m not saying I think these episodes are awful! Just to be clear, I’ve enjoyed stuff about all of them! I haven’t hated any of them (No, not even Space Babies with their poor little freaked out faces and ill fitting CG mouths creeping me out) And if you don’t feel depressed after these recent episodes I’m very glad. Really. I just wish I had YOUR brain!

It’s funny, after an era where I complained (quietly) about poor writing I am now complaining (loudly) about the horrible mood the better writing is putting me in!

Yes, I will keep watching, trying to hold onto whatever light I can in the darkness. But I can’t say I’m looking forward to being miserable every time. I’m not sure I’m actually having fun. My life sucks enough lately, and Doctor Who making me feel worse is something I NEVER expected to have to deal with.

**Note to self: be glad you can NEVER go to Wales! Yeah, my grandma had a penpal from Wales. It was a lovely old lady she met while they both rested on a bench in the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. I met her and she was quite nice, even as little me withered in shame hearing grandma, in her lifelong childlike innocence, tell an embarrassing detail about me. I rationally know people from Wales are just people. But after that pub scene…