#spotify very helpfully made me a playlist for crying

[actual-bag-of-salad]

not to 21 pilots post in 2024 but there's truly nothing like crying and listening to Truce

[darthstitch]

Headcanons a.k.a. The Magic Frying Pan of Grace

YES, YES, YES to your headcanons @tygermama and also:

1. Basically, the confrontation between the Idiot Twins pretty much recreated nearly every painting of St. Michael vs. the Devil ever made, the difference being that the grief and pain on Michael's face was pretty clear and the words: "I'M NOT GOING TO DRAG YOUR STUBBORN ARSE BACK TO HELL YOU BLOODY IDIOT! I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOU'RE HAPPY HERE ON EARTH!"

And then, more calmly, in his typical deadpan tones: "Also, I have a spy mission to complete for my human family, very hush hush, very important, not everything revolves around you, all right?"

So of course, Lucifer being Lucifer, his first reaction was: "Spy mission? You're bloody James Bond?!"

"On occasion. Sometimes, I'm just a tailor with rather unusual skills."

Wings were also involved in this scene, wherein four people witnessed the only real difference between the twins. Michael's wings were the color of a night sky speckled with stars; his twin's, of course, were the luminescent silver-white that were part of the reason he'd been named Lightbringer.

2. There were exactly four witnesses to this scene: Chloe, who already knew what her partner was, after the whole debacle with Marcus Pierce/Cain; Eggsy, Harry Hart and Merlin - the latter two having seen everything from the video feed transmitted by the Kingsman-issue glasses.

Eggsy's reaction was: "Somehow, I'm not surprised m'favorite knight's an actual Archangel. Also explains your thing with cats and why you never seem to get your suits wrinkled, no matter what, bruv."

Harry's comment: "That explains the armor and the sword when I first met you. Carry on, then."

Of course, Merlin promptly had kittens and had to fortify himself with copious amounts of tea. Eventually Code Archangel was going to be just as dreaded as Code Excalibur.

3. It comes as no surprise that Michael is generally more low key and less flamboyant than His Formerly Infernal Featherbrained Nibs. He's had twenty years spent among humans, trained as a spy and he'd spent most of those years with amnesia, believing he was just another ordinary man with the bad luck not to remember his past prior to joining Kingsman. He's used to wearing glasses, having figured out early on that there's something about his direct gaze that can unnerve most people with the only exceptions being Roxy, Eggsy and Harry Hart. He also has the amazing ability to keep his Kingsman suits impeccable, something that drove everyone, especially Eggsy, quite bonkers, until they all figured out the "angel" thing.

4. Also, the following exchange happened:

"Bloody hell, Michael, you don't have to wear a tie all the time. Take it off, live a little, show a little bit of skin, yeah?"

It is a credit to how quickly the twins made up their differences with each other that everyone at LUX was promptly surprised to see two Lucifers mingling and charming everyone in sight, at least until Lucifer finally formally introduced his twin as: "This is my brother, Michael."

Dan's facepalm was epic: "Oh God, why are there two of you? WHY?"

Before Lucifer could answer, Michael beat him with: "The answer is 42."

"What?"

"42, Detective Espinosa. The answer to life, the universe and everything. Including why Sam -- er.... Lucifer and I are twins."

5. "Yes, Michael. I won't mind it if you call me... Sam. Again. Just keep it as 'Sam' all right?"

Actual hugs were involved in this exchange. And maybe a little bit of grace was involved in this reconciliation. As well as tears and whispered apologies and later on, feather preening, when they were both a little more composed.

"Sam, for the love of Dad, how did you let your primaries get in this condition?!"

6. Lucifer had hoped that Michael would absolutely not notice the "thing" between him and Detective Chloe Decker. Of course, he was dead wrong about that.

"Sam, we'd have an ACTUAL CONTINENTAL SHIFT before you'd finally get off that feathered arse of yours about your darling detective. Please, for the love of Dad, DO SOMETHING."

"IT'S BLOODY COMPLICATED! AND I REFUSE TO DO ANYTHING FOR THE LOVE OF DAD, I'M DONE WITH THAT NONSENSE -- "

"NO, it bloody well isn't. How many times do I have to hit you with the Magic Frying Pan of Grace before you finally get it?"

"The magic frying pan of what now?"

7. Michael, of course, does tend to dress himself like: "Lucifer cosplaying as Clark Kent" unless he can thankfully be out of "uniform," so to speak and relax in a comfortable black Henley, jeans and boots. It's also easier on everyone's nerves because that's how everyone else can tell the twins apart.

But they're not twins for nothing and occasionally, they will appear together in identical clothing. Michael has absolutely no problem adopting "Sam's" mannerisms when needs must. At this point, the only two people on earth who can tell them apart without fail are Chloe Decker and her daughter Trixie.

(Mazikeen is not of Earth and she can tell the twins apart, so she's an exception to this rule. Also Maze will laugh in your face if you ask her for help wrangling the Twins in Full On Mischief Mode.)

Yes, Michael has absolutely tried flirting with Chloe, knowing just how his twin does it and Chloe knows it's him every time. To be absolutely fair, he's only really tried this twice but he does find it heartwarming that Chloe immediately shuts him down with: "MICHAEL PERCIVALE I KNOW IT'S YOU." But she's laughing, as opposed to her normal reaction when Lucifer tries his flirt on.

8. Michael doesn't really try this again because he's seen his brother's heartbroken, puppy-dog expression each time, as if he's expecting that Chloe really can't tell them apart. It's also the reason why Michael figures out that Lucifer is now nursing the harebrained idea that maybe, just maybe, Chloe would be far better off falling in love with his "good twin."

Right. Michael also immediately determines that he will use the Magic Frying Pan of Grace to knock that cockamamie idea out of his idiot brother's head ASAP. It took a few good hard knocks and he eventually ropes Dr. Linda Martin to help him out with this, because one must aim carefully and swing hard, but they do succeed.

(Michael is a spy, so of course he eventually does find out about the good Dr. Linda. He carefully doesn't tell her that she is, in fact, an actual saint.)

9. Trixie Decker Espinosa will look at you with a ten year old's patented "Adults are so stupid, swear down" expression when you ask her how she can immediately tell Michael and Lucifer apart. They're twins, yes, but it's obvious which one is which. Michael is just as huggable and funny as his brother, and also an easy mark for chocolate cake.

Also:

"Michael, why do you call Lucifer 'His Formerly Infernal Featherbrained Nibs?'"

"He's my brother, child - it's a term of endearment. It suits him, doesn't it?"

There were giggles of agreement.

10. There's a night that everyone at Lux knows that they will never, ever forget. The Tribe was present, in full attendance, including little Trixie, who, of course, got child-appropriate drinks and snacks. Kingsman was represented, with Harry Hart, Eggsy Unwin and Roxy Morton, who was, in fact, flirting outrageously with Maze.

A certain mission had been successfully accomplished, a case closed to the satisfaction of the LAPD and Harry Hart was currently in possession of a Certain Sword that everyone had thought was simply something out of legend. So the whole gathering at Lux, with the rest of the L.A. party going scene, was actually a celebration.

The twins were going to sing. Amenadiel totally wasn't getting all teared up about this, because there was absolutely no reason not to cry over the fact that Michael and Samael were going to sing together for the first time in aeons. Really. He absolutely wasn't demolishing the Kleenex supply behind the bar.

The song that the twins chose was just perfect.

"There goes my heart beating

'Cause you are the reason

I'm losing my sleep

Please come back now

There goes my mind racing

And you are the reason

That I'm still breathing

I'm hopeless now

I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken..."

Chloe met the eyes of her partner and best friend and saw, clear as sunlight, all the love and the hope and the apologies that he really didn't need to make anymore. It was that moment that she knew they weren't going to be doing this whole ridiculous dance of two-steps-forward-twenty-steps-back anymore.

For everyone else, there was something achingly beautiful about that performance, something that prompted hands reaching out for each other, hugs, kisses for the lovers in the audience, smiles, a gentle swaying to the melody. It was, in fact, a careful, gentle feeling of grace that settled on everyone there.

Michael helpfully continued playing the piano when everyone later ended up on the floor dancing. Of course, he was perfectly happy to encourage any excuse for his brother to have his Chloe in his arms. Also, to encourage every opportunity for his twin to steal kisses from his favorite detective. Said detective actually didn't mind the kisses and did, in fact, manage to steal some of her own, leaving His Formerly Infernal Featherbrained Nibs with this priceless dazed and delighted expression on his face.

- end -

NOTES:

Ladies and gentlebeings, Michael Archangel - The Mighty Wielder of the Magic Frying Pan of Grace.

*gigglefits*

Also, I now have a Spotify playlist titled: "His Formerly Infernal Featherbrained Nibs." That is how bad this ridiculousness has gotten. It also looks good next to my Kingsman-inspired playlist. AHAHAHA.

[feedmeramyun]

Fifty Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by @sweet-teeth-mfs

Hi, it me, Bee. 

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Realistically, work? I work an office job to pay my while I finish my PhD:  it’s a good job and luckily I don’t hate it (not to mention I wouldn’t even be able to do my PhD without it) but it’d be great to have that time to work on my academic projects.

2. What makes your day better?

Food.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

I didn’t do a lot today, but it was announced Lee Min Ho has been discharged from the military so that made me happy! 

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

So. Many. Places. But forced to choose right now? Rabanastre from Final Fantasy XII.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Lots of people ask me for it, but I think that’s because I have a very logical and rational understanding of the world. I’m not great at understanding feelings (or remembering they exist...).

6. Do you have any mental illness?

I do! My family is particularly blessed with mental health issues and I inherited my fair share of them. I’ve learned to accept them as part of me though, and I’m mostly at peace with that now: but always happy to talk honestly and frankly with others about them.  

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes, ain’t that a blast. 

8. What musician inspired you the most?

As a teen, Kurt Cobain (so predictable!) was extremely important to me. I’m also a huge fan of Shakira: her work ethic and creativity has been a massive inspiration for me. Kpop wise, I’m in awe of female idols breaking down boundaries and forging their identities (in particular Sunmi, Hyuna and Hwasa), and of course Taemin in his explorations of gender, identity and style. 

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Mmm, in my way. My spectrum of emotion is quite different from most peoples, so for a while I wondered if maybe I couldn’t love. Now I’m older and have a better perspective of myself I realise I can and do love, its just different. 

10. What’s your dream date?

This gets asked all the time, and I generally don’t know? Probably something low key that mostly revolved around food.

11. What do others notice about you?

I asked Edie and she said my eyes.  I quote: ‘You have very bright, round eyes. Very expressive.’ 

(What she actually said was my cuteness but I’m a grown woman dammit.)

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I didn’t ask Edie this but I’m PRETTY sure she would agree it’s my inability to let something drop if it’s wrong or illogical, even if I know it’s supposed to be a joke. I just can’t help it. 

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No.

14. How many exes do you have?

SOME. 

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Spotify helpfully won’t tell me how many songs, but apparently its 12hrs 42 mins. 

16. What instruments can you play?

Guitar. I was in a band as a teenager, but I haven’t played in years. 

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

It’s a close tie between food and Do Kyungsoo. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

I’m lucky to have ticked a few places off my list (South Africa, Central Mexico, Moscow) but I’d really like to do a food tour of China, Japan and Korea soon. I’d also love to see St Petersburg, Machu Pichu and Teotihuacan.

19. What is your zodiac?

Libra.

20. Do you relate to it?

I know literally nothing about astrology. 

21. What is happiness to you?

Being content, being able to enjoy the people and things I love. 

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Some stuff, a few things. 

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Oh boy I make terrible decisions on a daily basis.   

24. What’s your favorite store?

Sostrene Grene.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

It’s a human right. 

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

No. I have goals and things I value, but it’s not really my style.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Singular? No. Favourites however would be:

Donde Estan Las Ladrones Shakira

Nevermind Nirvana

The Devil and God Are Raging Inside of Me Brand New

Warning Sunmi

Love Shot Exo

Want Taemin

28. What do you want for your birthday?

The manga boxset of Nausicaa

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

As previously mentioned, Edie would say that I’m cute. 

In honesty, I’m not sure. I think it depends on the setting: I seem to either come across sweet or intimidating, with no real in between. But I wouldn’t say I’m especially either. 

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Probably early twenties. 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On my bedside table. 

32. What word do you say the most?

Probably fuck? I have a bad habit of starting sentences with I either ‘Well...’ ‘I mean...’ and ‘I feel like...’ 

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

Mid 30′s maybe? I like to be mostly on the same page as someone. 

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

As with above, so probably 25?

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Teacher. 

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

I tend to cycle through genres depending on my mood, but I unashamedly love some good Pop. 

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I like the UK, even if we’re in a state of complete political turmoil right now. I’d probably leave England for Wales or Scotland if it weren’t so far from family. I toyed with moving to Spain for a while, too.

38. What is your current favorite song?

Prism by SHINee! (I’ve been having mad feels since Minho left)

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Uhhhh since Edie made me? 

40. What are you excited for?

The farmers market on Saturday (with my friend and her adorable kids).

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Talker. 

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

I made the posters, promotional materials and edited the photos for our conference next month. 

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I realllllly want to go the new Star Wars experience at Disney. 

44. What class do you did you get the best grades in?

History, English and Media Studies. 

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

A 5? I got my period and there was a huge thunderstorm earlier, though. 

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

Hopefully in a full time lecturing position at a University. 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

I’m not sure, it depends what you would class as heartbreak: I remember crying my eyes out when the Sailor Scouts sacrificed themselves for Sailor Moon in the Dark Kingdom. 

48. What age do you want to get married?

Whenever, really. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Power Ranger, Jedi, Princess of Power, Digidestined. And then a journalist or writer. (Which, I kind of am?!)

50. What do you crave right now?

Diet coke

I tag @ouuchyie, and any one else who wants to do it! I never really have any one to tag in these, since Edie tags me. Come say hey. I’m nice, mostly.