#im here posting on tumblr to nobody
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not to 21 pilots post in 2024 but there's truly nothing like crying and listening to Truce
#spotify very helpfully made me a playlist for crying#im just feeling so isolated lately#i just wish somebody cared#like at all#it makes me want to act out and scare people tbh#just scream that im not fine#im not tough#im not strong#im hurting#im just not ok anymore#its getting bad#truly feels like nobody cares who isnt blood related to me#my mom and my sister are the people who keep me from killing myself tbh#they need me#i really think everyone else would get over it in a year or so#and i feel so stupid for being 25 and still feeling so powerless and stupid#im here posting on tumblr to nobody#like a fucking loser#personal
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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"no one actually cares about the spotify links you post" wrong. i do. i mean it when i say i listen to at least half of the songs people put on my dash. a solid amount of my music i find through random hyperlinks or, preferably, a dramatic text post that uses smalltext.io liberally. i will even google randomly posted lyrics to find out which song it's from and then listen to it attentively and put it in a playlist if i like it. dont know whose god complex this is going to feed but i need to put this out there
#i ONLY do this on tumblr though youre the only people i trust have good music taste#and you do! there's so many songs i've found on here which i love#i listen to your mp3 your spotify links and your playlists and im having a great time! bitch!#found mitski through that nobody meme found ethel cain through a post saying 'listen to crush by ethel cain right now' and i did#maisie peters was obviously tay and alex's doing... sam's playlists are responsible for at least 30% of the songs i listen to#dance fever my fav album of all time i first listened to bc of a text post that did in fact use small text generator#so much beauty in the world keep sharing it with each other. <3#personal
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🤍🫂🌹
#this is a very very soft announcement bc it might change (as you know me smh 🙄)#as some might remember i said like 1-2 months ago that id see how i feel about tumblr after cmi11.5 and see whether i want#to stay or close that chapter of my life! and i've been thinking about it a lotttt these days and i keep going back and forth#but i think depending on how everyone likes Entertainer it might be my last fic on here 🤍#which again.. can change depending on my mood n motivation.. im also not saying this to get attention etc but to inform you where i stand :)#writing is just a looooot of effort and tumblr has been vvv quiet (i also think my blog has lost some relevance but that's okay!! things#move fast)#i have soooo many wips i love lol 😭 but im not sure if i have the energy to write 20-40k stuff when nobody's around anymore :(#but let's see how you like Entertainer bc im vvv excited for it!! 🥰 keep spreading love until then <3#love you guys sm 🤍#might delete since it's an unsure post.. just wanted those who see this or care to know 🫂
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everytime i see another borderline call themself a "yandere irl" im like :(( noooooo don't try to appeal to the losers who wanna romanticize your worst.......... nooo they dont have ur best interests in mind.
#nobody gets to reblog this just in case tumblr finds my irritated ramble post#almost every post under bpd - ESP the yearning posts - is tagged “yandere irl” and im just pretending that i dont see it.#i know we're all desperate as fuck as borderlines for scraps but . RUN. in the other direction if ppl start saying that shit to u#they dont wanna see ur worst and love u anyway they just want to take advantage of u !!!!#it's a hard pill 2 swallw bc here they are bc theyre like “omg i love ur crazy side bae hahaha” and ure like oh my god wowwwww........ yess#they dont mean that. they Don't.#micetalk#like.. no dont go thru that agony. please. they literally do not want anything good for u at all.
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"You slow down time"
"In your golden hour"
#sometimes i remember shes not real and i have to take a minute to mourn#wasnt going to post this since it was just painting practice (i did not end up painting) but then i ended up liking it so over here it goes#as long as nobody looks too hard at the lighting were good#love procrastinating on my drawings of ortega by. *checks notes* drawing ortega#however i Hate the colour difference between my tablet and my computer. i had to bump up the brightness and saturation on my laptop after i#-finished colouring. hell earth#fhr#ortega#pulp draws#edit: gods CRUNCHIEST quality holy shit#tumblr im strangling you
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guys i miss using Tumblr...i miss when all the bball moots used Tumblr and i think im gonna start using it more again
#it's like lonely here but im also like well it's also lonely for me in the server????#there's nobody to talk raptors or canadian players nor whatever fic idea i have with over there#but here i can just talk about them anyway without having to feel like im just standing alone#even though i stand alone on tumblr but it's like i post for myself anyway so#idk the expectations are different i guess#xar's thoughts
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gonna put this here now because i have more followers here and someone might help but. images wont load for me rn and i have no idea what the hell is causing it 🥹🥹🥹🥹
#tried it without extensions and also tried it on mobile.. same result :-/#pn.txt#im gonna go nuts... i tried searching about it on google and reddit and people had the same problem but nobody has a (working) fix AUUGGHHH#PLEAASE I NEED TO LOOK AT IMAGES#i dont want to post art too rn because it might fuck it up.... siggghh#its not my wifi too because every other website works fine.. tumblr just stopped loading images for some reason#its all gradients in here im goin nuts
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" I love art" I say
Meanwhile when I do art there's a like 10% chance of me wanting to throw it smack against a wall out of frustration from any of the listed
It's taking too long
It doesn't match what I had envisioned
My skillset isn't where I want it to be
It hasn't clicked the joy switch in my head yet
Hunger
Tiredness
Existential dread
Accidentally getting color where it was not meant to be and being unable to make it look coherent again
Not being able to make a character look finalized enough no matter how much I touch it up
PERSPECTIVE AND ANATOMY
PERSPECTIVE AND ANATOMY
FOR NO REASON IN PARTICULAR- PERSPECTIVE AND ANATOMY
WHEN I GET MY FUCKING HANDS ON YOU PERSPECT-
#art#digital art#vtuber#artwork#envtuber#character art#artists on tumblr#my art#art process#illustration#art frustration#art study#drawing study#drawing stuff#drawing style#painting#completely unrelated if somebody wants to teach me that would be great#youtube isnt helping#what do you mean an arm is a cylinder???#There's muscles there#im not made of tubes like some sick twisted sippy straw creature#Nobody describes things in a way that my neandertal brain can comprehend#you might as well bash rocks together because i will understand just as much#god bless you for posting tutorials and trying you angel sent from above#but sweetheart i have no idea what these knowledge balloons you're pelting me with even mean it just hurts#it's like rock hard cured cement#How are you all getting information from these?#i've seen so many and yet nothing#You're telling me that the 8 year old Picasso over here drawing hyper realistic horses learned from these tutorials?#I think you're lying and that's Rembrandt reincarnate
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You guys I’m posting so many polls to get my engagement up but it’s not like how it used to be before 😂😭😂😂 ever since even before March when i took that month long break for Ramadan, my notifs were so dry n dead and it’s just not how it was before and i wish i could go back in time when everything was lit and fun but i just don’t know what happened it’s like everyone tuned out and then when i took that break, even more people tuned out and no one came back 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
#I hate it here 😭😭😭😭#nobody wants to talk anymore#nobody wants to keep the fandom alive anymore#it’s so sad#I remember I’d get into bed all freshly showered ready for my pre sleep tumblr session lol#now i know there’s no point bc it’s just CRICKETS 🦗#UGHHHJJJJH idk what to do yall im running out of poll ideas#and at first i did also post more of those mini Ari drabbles which got notes but like….#the interaction level remains low#AHHHHHHH IDK MAN I NEVER HAD THIS PRIBLEM BEFORE#i however knew that when i started this blog that one day it would die out#and that day is coming soon i feel it#bro i even posted a snippet of the stepdad Ari thing and CRICKETS#😭😭😂😂😂🥲#anyways#I’m gonna go play with my bratz dolls
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😶🌫️
#have yall forgotten how to use tumblr or.#i hate hate HATE complaining but out of 500 notes there are three reblogs with tags like am i going crazy why does nobody say anything#did yall hate the fic or what. bc thats the vibe im getting#im not gonna leave tumblr but i really see why ppl do bc its so disheartening#genuinely i am talking to a brick wall#it really makes me want to not put in the effort to write anymore if no one is gonna say anything to my face#sorry for the vent post but im just frustrated#idk if its my fault or tumblrs fault or no ones fault but#like idk what else to do other than beg ppl to interact. and its not just readers i am fully shaming other authors bc you KNOW how bad it is#and you still refuse to read your friends work#how can you call urself mutuals if you never fucking reblog from each other#its so fake and toxic and im sick of it sorry#im not here to cause drama and i know i sound like a whiny bitch but jesus christ you guys
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youtube
Dirty Robot - Arling & Cameron
#nobody had posted it here yet??#anyway surprise surprise tumblr user vilu 'sunny' just spacetrash is listening to robotmusic again#youre a dirty robot (im a dirty robot🤖)#arling & cameron#dirty robot#my post#anywaysss if anyone wants to listen to my brand new playlist its on spotify as 'metal fingers in my body?😳'#youll never guess what the theme is#Youtube
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She veemo on my woomy til I splatoon
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#splatoon#ive been sitting on this ask for months#partially because 'how dare you send me an ask thats funnier than anything i post'#which is technically true in the sense that i never make any original posts ever. i just reblog other people's stuff#which really begs the question like. Why was this ask sent to me instead of one of the splatoon fanartist i reblog stuff from#was anon worried about making a sex joke to one of the splatoon microcelebrities here on tumblr so they sent this to me; a total nobody?#is anon one of those splatoon fanartists who noticed my reblogs; went thru my blog -#and used this ask as a way to gauge how much friend material i am#just the other day i had a talk with a friend over whether id recognize them on anon. is this from that friend??#my initial assumption was that anon sent this so id reply to it somehow or at least post it. but why. i basically dont have followers#im not one of those tumblr users with hundreds of followers whos known to be funny. What audience do you think your ask would get to anon?#anyway i have a minor crisis every time i look at this ask on my inbox#but this time it led to me deciding to finally post this ask. That thing I said about never making original posts?#well maybe its time to change that#i wont but its nice to think of the idea#sometimes i have original post ideas but then i dont want to post them because nobody would see it#i always want to save it for some hypothetical future where i have tons of followers who will see my posts#and yet one has to think. i will never get followers if i dont post#im still not gonna post tho. tumblr is something i look at for fun im not putting effort into this thing
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ik ppl like to joke that the bbc only have like 10 actors or whatever but fr its kinda the same here (australia)... im watching fisk rn and like. every second background character is someone i've seen in another show. the teacher from little lunch is here pretending to be a lawyer. comedian carl barron is mowing fisk's lawn. aaron chen. justine clarke!!!! what!!!
#nobody is going to care about this but idc. im allowed to make a 0 note post <3#australia#🐝#i was thinking to myself yesterday i should actually start using tumblr more . because i barely talk here. so why not#fisk
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i think what gets me about a lot of recent (by recent i mean roughly ~2 years old) "twitter alternatives" is that theyre either ghost towns bc its a pain in the ass to move to a completely new site or theyre invite only so thats a different barrier. secret third thing is the twt alternative being marketed as a website for Artists and Artists only so you have non artists asking if its ok to join that site. i need 2012 deviantart back immediately
#like yeah im glad this site is catered to and for artists but what abt potential clients ?#i think thats something that a lot of the alternatives seem to miss is that a lot of artists rely on platforms like twt to get cms. i do!#moving to a completely random new site no ones ever heard of is not going to help me in the slightest!#thats why i genuinely have only stuck to twt + tumblr bc ive been using them and i already have ppl Here.#like sorry i dont want to just follow the entire total 75 other people on a new site bc no one else has heard of it or wants to join it#idk i just think abt this every time a new alternative pops up. like who is exclusively posting on Bluesky. nobody.#ppl make their initial posts on new site and then immediately go back to twt bc thats where their audience is.#idk it just never feels like theres any real incentives to join 324 new sites. Whatever man
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most interesting popular accounts to me are the ones that just post stuff like gifsets or art or writing but never ever say anything, like no tag rambles, no personal posts, no opinions, no rants. im always like surely.... surely you have something to say....
#idgi#like its so boring yeah your posts are pretty or what have you but give me someone who talks and makes stuff only half as pretty#and im gonna prefer them bc i can see some personality behind it#idk maybe im just mean but its intriguing#esp since ive followed a bunch of blogs for the new thing im into and so many of them are like this#also on the rare occasions they do say stuff the posts never get notes#or replies and meanwhile they just posted a thanks for 9k followers post#i dont see the point of 9 thousand people if no one talks EVER#ALSO EVIDENTLY THEY WANT TO TALK BC MY ASS CANNOT BE STOPPED FROM REPLYING#and then they be out here following me even tho im some lil nobody so like#they must be like yay! someones talking!#again whats the point of this website if we dont reply and reblog and talk and have fun bro#see again this just makes me squint bc its like a lot of big influencer ig accs who just post perfectly edited pics and sell shit#and never say a word that could get in the way of a sponsorship#why are you acting like that on tumblr you dont even get money from being popualr here lmao
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