#..............but what if its all redundant
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urgardenandmine Ā· 13 hours ago
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parker's lab buddy šŸ•· (pt. ii) - p. parker
summary: parker and his new bestie have a rocky second meeting genre: fluff (kinda...?) pairing: m!reader x peter parker (spider-man, hehe) word count: 1.5K part one here!
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this moment was the moment many had dreamed of. the moment they all thrived to hold out to. as they flooded the room, the sound of many was almost to some dissonant, yet to others, was the sound of their comrades who they hadnā€™t seen in almost ages. the feeling of the luminescent lights was cold, as they had no purpose other than to shine the light towards what they all coveted in this exact moment.Ā 
the sunlight pouring through the glass panes of the room had warmed the skin of many. in the field of children, there were some who had chosen to embrace the warmth as the sun had reached its peak. to the others, they hid themselves from the glowing orb of star power, deeming it a nuisance. some had found it redundant, being tortured by the lights up above and the double team of the light from outside yet they had no choice in the matter.
as he made their way through the crowd of brash and reckless persons, he had lined up to the front of the line, ready to bear the question thrown at him by the one who had it allā€¦
ā€œapple or orange.ā€ the lunch lady deadpanned.
ā€œoh, uh, apple please.ā€ peter had answered softly, showing off his usual kind smile. the lady sighed, grabbing the apple with her gloved hand and had placed it on his tray. peter stared down at it, nodding as he mouthed a small ā€œthank youā€ before following down the line of students in the cafeteria. ned was in front, since he wanted to talk to betty. she hasnā€™t really given him the time of day due to this new ā€œstoryā€ she was working on, which was who was the mysterious intruder who breaks into the schoolā€™s trash can every night.Ā 
as they left the end of the line, ned and peter had made their way to their usual table in the far back.Ā 
ā€œi think itā€™s a raccoon but whateverā€¦ā€ ned mumbled, causing peter to chuckle softly.Ā Ā 
ā€œwell, what if itā€™s a new villain?ā€ peter teased, nudging ned as they sat down. ned then dropped his jaw, letting out a loud gasp as he began to beam with delight.Ā 
ā€œyou think so?ā€ ned hoped, sitting closer to peter than he wouldā€™ve liked. peter scooted away as he began to slink off his backpack to place beside him, stifling a small snort.Ā 
ā€œitā€™s probably a opossum or a raccoon. if it were a villain, iā€™d k-ā€
as the words left his mouth, he could feel the same sensation as from before. the hairs on his nape began to stand on end, and so did the hairs on his arm. they stood up straight, as if they themselves were on high alert. he could his feel the back of his skull tingle, as if he was in active combat now. he still had no understanding of how his ā€œpeter tingleā€ (ā„¢ by happy himself) worked but he knew that when it was on, he needed to do whatever it took to help himself and those around him. peter gulped, fearing his first day back at school was going to be thrown into a full-on brawl.Ā 
his eyes began to scan the cafeteria, seemingly making marks of those who seemed suspicious but it was almost useless as he knew most of the faces in the room. he saw one of the band kids who he thought was suspicious but in reality, he knew that kid was probably just hiding his newest self-made contraption in his backpack.Ā 
dismissing what he thought was danger, he brought his head down to his food. as he was going to take a bite of his so-called ā€œburger,ā€ he heard the doors open and he had seen the one who had been the cause of his first tingle (he really needs a new name for this whole thing).Ā 
looking at the denim colored doors opening, he had taken note of the boy who was eyeing everyone himself. the boy seemed more nervous than most students would be on their first days. he had a certain energy around him, which made peter feel somewhat uneasy. peter shifted in his seat, eyeing the other one closely. the boy had made his way down the line of food, picking the usual things everyone else would get. as he finished his selection, he made his way down the aisles of cliques and groups, he could feel that the boy was getting a bunch of stares as well but for another reason.Ā 
ned had noticed the connection of peterā€™s gaze towards the boy, sensing some ā€œtension.ā€ ned, looking over to the boy who was still walking, waved him over. peter turned to ned immediately, smacking his arm gently.Ā 
ā€œned! no! what are you doing?!ā€ he hushed, causing ned to smack him back. peter, taken aback, began to smack peter back lightly. after taking a beat, the boys began to slap each other silly like two five year old kids. hearing a faint chuckle from the other side of the table. they both froze in their tracks, the brunette boy looking over to seeing his lab partner from before.Ā 
the boy looked at the two, intaking the sight of two simple teenage boys. he sat down, removing his black backpack from his shoulders as he dusted off his pants, setting down his tray with one hand as the backpack slipped off his other arm. peter coughed softly, as ned fixed his shirt and sat up right, clasping his hands in front of him as he looked at the two. the new boy was in front of peter, and peter looked down at his tray, fiddling with his water bottle. nedā€™s eyes darted between them, letting out a loud exhale as he then inhaled and spoke.
ā€œhi! iā€™m ned and this is-ā€
ā€œpeter. i know.ā€ he spoke. peterā€™s head lifted immediately, almost now on edge as he cleared his throat.
ā€œhow do you know my nameā€¦ā€Ā 
the boy eyed him, staring at him before he let out a sheepish chuckle. he scratched the back of his neck, fidgeting gently.
ā€œum, we were lab partnersā€¦?ā€ the boy answered, chuckling as he took a small sip of his water bottle. peter relaxed, feeling a bit embarrassed as he slouched, turned his attention to his hands to distract himself from the small mistake he just made. the boy smiled, his [l/c] lips turning upwards as he eyed the boy in front of him.Ā 
ned eyed peter, seeing him act funny. ned, thinking it was of the ā€œheartyā€ nature, smiled softly as he had a plan in mind. ned had taken out his phone and had feigned a phone call, making sure it was loud enough for them both to hear.
ā€œoh, whatā€™s that, mom? you have my lunch at the front office? o-okay! iā€™ll come right away!ā€ ned played, causing the two other boys to look at ned as he slowly got up from the table and grabbed his backpack.
ā€œmy mom packed my lunch so i should probably go get it!ā€
peterā€™s eyes darted from ned to his tray, a finger lifting to point at the food in front of him, ā€œbut you-ā€
ā€œgotta go!ā€ ned spat, before rushing out with an orange in his hand. as he darted off, the two boys stared at one another. the other boy chuckled, looking down at his food as he opened a small juice box. peter nodded, looking away as he smiled at the [h/c] boy, trying to deescalate the weird ā€œtension.ā€ the boy chuckled, before getting up and grabbing his juice with him and his fruit.
ā€œi think iā€™m gonna goā€¦check out the restrooms.ā€ he informed him softly, waving shyly as he made his way towards the doors behind peter to head towards the restrooms. peterā€™s head followed him, seeing him leave as he then was now alone at the table. he looked around him, seeing the two empty trays as he sighed, getting up and grabbing his food to follow the new boy (which doesnā€™t seem weird at all, peter).Ā 
as he entered the halls, he saw it littered with some students who were hanging out with their friends. grumbling softly to himself, peter made his way down the hall to find the nearest restroom he could. having seen how the boy had excused himself, peter felt his ā€œpeter tingleā€ was incorrect and maybe it was something else. i mean, what harm can another teenage boy do? spread a rumor?
reaching the restroom, peter had opened the door slowly. hearing a faint voice talking, peter made sure to not be a nuisance in the restroom. as the door closed behind him, he could hear only a singular voice, the voice of the boy from before. getting closer to the stall further inside, peter ā€œaccidentallyā€ listened in.
ā€œyes, yes, i know. gosh, donā€™t worry. itā€™s only the first day of school.ā€ he spoke in a soft manner. peter had a small smirk on his face. hearing the boy possibly talk to his parent or whoever seemed like he was panicking for nothing.Ā 
ā€œtrust me, parker wonā€™t know what hit himā€¦ā€
ā€¦that doesnā€™t sound good.
ā‹†ļ½”Ā°āœ©
i hope this a good continuation to my first work for y'all :p
i think i might change the trajectory of this story because i've been making this new guy very...devious
[l/c] = lip color, [h/c] = hair color (i apologize if it looks complicated TT)
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coolnonsenseworld Ā· 2 months ago
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
Ā mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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pedaleceleste Ā· 2 months ago
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did they.. did Dan and Phil compare themselves to chARLIE AND NICK FROM HEARTSTOPPER????. look. Iā€™m not one to go Ā«Ā omg its as if theyve already hardlaunchedĀ Ā», Iā€™m really not (bc as an aromantic person I rlly dont think it matters if their relationship is or is not romantic like we can value it for what it is without needing it to be labeled directly and explicitly in alloromantic-allonormative terms ANYWAY ONTO MY MAIN POINT) ā€¦
I did pause the video and stare at my wall in disbelief for a full minute thoughā€¦ what a time to be alive, truly.
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dynamitekansai Ā· 3 months ago
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wwe: Sami Zayn saved Roman Reigns, Jey and Jimmy Uso from a post match brawlā€¦ but tonight was not the way any of them wanted this to go. šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’ØšŸ‘Ž
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calo-wav Ā· 2 months ago
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the freaking mongoose šŸ’„
(mongoose = righteous clarity (or stubborness))
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thecherrygod Ā· 2 years ago
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currently thinking about when you let kim know you found out about the pale while he was gone, and that if you tell him its terrifying hes like "so trying to spare you from it was a good idea", or that if you tell him its unreal he says how a lot of things are unreal, or that if you ask him where you are he says they are in elysium, but that all of them involve him comparing the pale to water, death, and "the fact we are all stuck behind our eyes, between our ears, talking for all eternity, like every other human being". and then saying heavy topics are not his forte and acting as if he never said that. you cant just say "heavy topics are not my forte" after dropping that. both the caring and trying to protect harry, and that water, death, and having a mind is terrifying/unreal/just how the world is...
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seventh-district Ā· 9 months ago
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just donā€™t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game iā€™ve hardly blogged abt before#but iā€™m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah yā€™all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways donā€™t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#itā€™s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought iā€™d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but iā€™m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadnā€™t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything thatā€™s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasnā€™t Loving it yā€™know#but that may be more a ā€˜me having to fight tooth nā€™ nail to force myself to consume new mediaā€™ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since iā€™m not filming my HSR stuff iā€™m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and iā€™m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but letā€™s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways letā€™s return to the subject at hand while thereā€™s still room left in these tags shall we#iā€™m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since heā€™s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2ā€¦ it was nice to see-#-him here at least šŸ„¹ iā€™ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ā€˜yā€™know DR RATIO once told meā€¦ā€™ like boy we get it ur in love with him šŸ™„ (/J!)#i love how they canā€™t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other itā€™s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILLā€™S KIT!?#they canā€™t just fuel my crackship like thisā€¦ god and his whole ā€˜muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?ā€™ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothillā€™s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck iā€™m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ā€˜who /is/ he? ā€¦ does he order milk at the bar?ā€™ iā€™m crying sheā€™s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYoā€™s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. weā€™ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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blueiight Ā· 1 year ago
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the thing is abt rosaleen is that shes someone who loves ghastly things & sees herself as someone proximate to that (which is why the brunt of her movie is scattered dream sequences that eventually becomes ā€˜realā€™ in that she becomes a wolf + the movie ends with her being awakened to wolves breaking into her bedroom). her favorite person is her grandmother whos viewed by the village as this withering crone regaling her with ā€˜old wives talesā€™. the grandmother seeming to warn rosaleen not of the wolves , but how people are mistreated bc of the fear of them not realizing sexual abuse + the hunt is commonplace and not unique to wolves, but something in ā€˜menā€™ (the woman who married a werewolf , thought he died, then she remarried, the werewolf was alive, attacks her child, and her second husband beheads the wolf+ slaps his wife for still loving him). the only two stories rosaleen herself recites from her grandmother to her mother + the huntsman are that of outcasted women making the best of their lot ā€” the pregnant witch who turns the nobles into wolves and makes them sing her baby songs, the shewolf who came above and chose the world below. just as rosaleen herself ā€˜choosesā€™ the world below, ā€˜choosesā€™ the werewolf who hunts over polite society. rosaleen seeing the glass infant that sheds a tear as she applies on red lipstick (and her ā€˜selfā€™ in the modern world going to sleep with a full face of makeup on, how the fixtures of her tales occupy the room she lays in) and the village encountering the cow that died in childbirthā€¦ the girl died, the woman is destroyed, and the shewolf is born thru the demise of the only other she was close to (her grandmother) as she runs off with grandmaā€™s killer away from the villagers trying to save her. the company of wolves movie came out in 1984 , adapted from the 1979 bloody chamber, and featured a werewolf who hunted wolves with a red cape + rifles, and we had a friend whos story in 1985 starts with him donning a red cape + a rifle to hunt wolves, another who suspected him of killing his brother , the only other person that understood him in this world, but ā€˜choseā€™ to become a monster with him
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devilsskettle Ā· 10 months ago
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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digirainebow Ā· 2 years ago
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Jonas essentially just shows up and Alex is like oh I hope he's friendly... And then immediately proceeds to give up her life for him and the fact that you can say something like "that was for Jonas" it's like OUUUGH SHES SO-
when her grief from losing michael makes her not only accept jonas as a sibling right away, but also makes her follow in michael's footsteps by taking jonas out somewhere just to bond and have fun but accidentally loses her life instead šŸ˜āœŒ
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j-esbian Ā· 1 year ago
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HOAs are fucking wild. you're telling me that even if i legally own this home, i still have landlord rules. who the fuck cares if i have pets in the house that i own. it's my problem to clean up after them.
and who the fuck cares!!! about the color of my curtains!!!!!!!
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bmpmp3 Ā· 1 year ago
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more fashion dreamer pics! more Dave plus I made my OC Meena (that one of many OCs i made off a dream LOL) as a second muse! i dont have a very close hair colour for her vaguely pinky creamsicle colour i usually paint her with rn so she just has fully pink hair for the time being jhkfldskjrf also raven showed up at my showroom! and some isaac fits because they say shit like %#^[#!{%#% so i always wanna talk to them LOL
can u tell "flirty" was my favourite style in style savvy DS vhjbelkfrfe
#fashion dreamer#the very first game the original DS game. i miss u flirty. i know it got like#divested into mostly bold and a bit of girly and pop#irl i think its supposed to be inspired by like gyaru-ish stuff and a lot of general 2000s hot pink shenanigans#looks like jirei kei but more tube tops and fur and a more saturated pink LOL#it was a bit redundant of a style so it makes sense they got rid of it after the first game#but listen. black and hot pink and bows and lace. i just love it HJKDLSJFKDS#attempting to single handedly make as much flirty esque clothes as i can now#thats one thing thats nice about the clothing making aspect of this game. its a bit more limited than i would like rn#but now i can make ALL the flirty style. i can even make type b flirty.... im unstoppable#like everyone else i expected but am still a bit bummed by the genderlocking in this game#i expected the clothes but the socks and shoes being locked is a bit of a killer sometimes..#i want type a's in dress shoes and type b's in heels is that so much to ask#also i want fishnets for type b so so desperately#let dave wear fishnets. please#what was a bit of a shock tho was the npc poses u unlock are also type a or b only#which SUCKS because NOW type a's cant look half asleep like sleep deprived simon#and type b's cant do a tadaaa pose like woodland whateverhernamewas#its so sad because my oc dave would be perfect for the tadah! and my oc meena would be perfect for the half asleep#THAT i hope they update especially cause like yeah u need to alter things for the different rigs but its an animation man#pwease. pwetty pwease i want those poses to be universal ;-;#still playing like daily tho LOL intensely addicting gameplay despite the many flaws
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b4kuch1n Ā· 1 year ago
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Hi, I've been inspired by the composition and abstract style of your artwork for a while now, if I made an experimental art piece inspired by your composition style would you want me to credit you as an inspo? or would you just not be comfortable with me using your art as inspiration altogether? (which is fine btw, i don't wanna do smth that would make you uncomfortable)
oh sure! feel free! I don't mind at all lol
#ask#bakuspeech#tbh I do think this question is like. somewhat redundant in art. or idk unnecessary?#all of art is inspiration man. very frequently from art by artists you're never gonna have the chance to reach out to#large cause bc they've been dead for decades to a few centuries#and like. idk as an artist you kinda have to accept that people will actually look at ur art and interact with it in their own space?#so like. yeah there are things that if I see you do with my art I will block you for. but on principle I cannot bodily stop you#this is all to say that like. if the question is about my personal boundaries it's gonna be more complicated. like if you make something#with ill intention and then cite me as an inspiration source. of course I'd not like that#but also that will be on me to reflect on that and like. do what I need to do#but outside of that. saying 'don't take inspiration from my art' is 1/genuinely patently unenforceable and 2/antithetical to#the way that I do art at all#like! I thrive on remixing! it's what transformative fanstuff is. how would I ever get on someone else's case for doing the exact same thin#anyways yeah don't worry about it I guess all of the above is more like. somewhat of a blanket permission#do whatever you want with my art! if it's cool and u want me to see it feel free to tell me. if u know I wont like it dont get caught by me#I am aware that I have before mentioned things you can't do with my art. those are personal boundaries. I enforce it in my own spaces#I have no power in yours. it's just how it is. use ur judgement. have fun chillin#that's it babey I go get snack now. its past mid autumn so the moon cakes are on sale so Im gonn#a get a bag of dried corn
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beatcroc Ā· 1 year ago
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comic planning/roughs on the clock at work šŸ‘ ok. this one's still a few posts out though
#god i really do just need to get a tablet or. something#some way to draw digitally on the go bc my laptop is um#at least 200% less portable than your typical old clunky laptop. its a whole ordeal#and as u can see tradish scribbles are barely usable#though i guess it would help if i ever remembered to grab something besides a shite pen at work lmao <-hates pen forever#mad bc i think this one is kind of mid+redundant for what i'd intended it to do bc of how some of the previous ones shifted#but i still gotta draw it bc one of the later ones uses it. buh#when i said these werent chronological or connected btw i lied#though only VERY VERY LOOSELY so. enough to bother *me* if i don't do them in order#but not enough that's really going to be noticeable to anyone else. they're each still intended 99% as standalone.#the arc is very minor but its there. for me. for anyone else it probably just amounts to a couple easter egg references/ consistencies#by the by the pizzaposts before this arent part of the series.#one small quickie thing and one i would...really like to get done sooner rather than later bc i need it out of my system#former's like 70% sketched im just waffling on execution#latter is uh...theres a lot there but it's harder to work on And harder tell how close to done it is.#unrelated its funny how i Always forget brick until i start putting anything down and then its like oh god yeah i can do bg Jokes with him#funny in the sense that one of my webcomic protag oc's is a...spatially similar deal as him [little kid with a big bear companion]#and i ALWAYS forget the bear when im scripting it. until i start messing with the layout and its like fuck theres a bear.#i have to do things with this now. fortunately thus far it hasn't been too hard to adapt#much rambling tonight goodbye. i haev to go block all these damn bots
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thecherrygod Ā· 8 months ago
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#my posts#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#is that enough i think that's enough#yeah that's how its going#everything's been getting worse and I've been feeling very bad but also very pathetic and like complaining almost makes me feel worse but#i can't do anything else about this so like. vent post lmao bc I'm a dumbass#i truly just want to(redacted)but one of those isn't an option and the other i have a drs appointment soon and i don't want to explain that#everything is just. bad. and what isn't i feel like it's getting bad and it's my fault. and I'm probably right.#just. i hate it here#the deserving mentality is truly getting to me and i fucking hate it. it's not logical. I'll still agree with it.#i truly don't deserve the food stuff i can't keep in my life and i deserve the shit that in getting and i can't stop agreeing with that#'oh this classmate wants to have lunch with me on Saturday after working on something! i should cancel before it's too late-#-so i can continue feeling bad for being an apple bc people should hate me bc I'm horrible and don't deserve kindness' like#it's. it's false. it's not logical. and yet#everyone else there's the fucking plexiglass wall and where it wasn't i think it's getting formed and it is my fault probably#i am annoying that one is true#.... I've been making posts like this all day and deleting them bc I'm pathetic also. it's.#... there's a little too much going on lmao#nothing's worth it and i feel like shit and anything i could try to do about it doesn't work and I'm just tired#... in case someone does read this i know it sounds worrying but nothing will happen tbh I'm just a pathetic coward who's sad and tired#and tired of being sad in a way that feels like it's getting worse#I'm not very sure when was the last time i felt. this bad in just. i don't know how to make it stop lmao#also in already annoying so this is all i can do i think lmao#i think I'm seeing now I'm just. being redundant and if i keep this up too much i will delete this. and i should but. i don't think i will#also without saying much this year the one thingā„¢ has been worse than usual and that's not helping either so it truly is just.#that everything is kinda very bad#.... yeah. whatever. it's just.ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćƒ„ā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ#... i truly wish killing myself was still an option like when i was a teen bit it's not so i just have to deal with whatever this is#... i hate being aware this is all super illogical bc the logical post of my brain teams up making me feel worse somehow.
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im-smart-i-swear Ā· 2 years ago
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in my defense: i had fun drawing this
i know Nika is more mature than the other two but. shes still 15. of course she does dumb wacky shit sometimes!!Ā 
yeah shes pretty girly(not a bad thing!!!) but also she lives alone. so she can eat her cheap-ass hawaiian pizza any way she wants with no one to judge her for it
#this is my contribution to society.#my art#felix net i nika#fnin#shes a 15 year old with telekinesis. of course she would do this#i dont care if shes 'mature for her age' shes 15. shes allowed to be silly!!#i dont go to the fnin fandom but i heard they dont like her there#everyone is entitled to their own opinion and im not claiming to be objectively right here!!!#but shes so complex?? shes so intersting and good and kind and bucling under the weight of years of trauma and the stress of being#15 and having to fend for herself!!! yeah the fact in almost every book she gets a storyline about miraclously avoiding being put in an#orphanage gets a bit redundant after a while BUT its also beacuse yeah. that threat is always there. one mistake is all it would take#for her to lose her school and friends and her apartment#also the way kosik writes his female characters is sometimes.... weird?? or is that just me???#like the fact the narrator CONSTANTLY separates the trio's class into boys and girls when describing what theyre doing#and the way apparently its physically impossible for a girl to understand physics or how a car works#except if youre a ghost of a girl whose father was a engineer i guess#and how every boy(except maybe for gerald but hes. y'know. a dick) is incapable to understand complex 'girlish' emotions#*of understanding#I LOVE THESE BOOKS VERY MUCH but the portrayal of gender and gender roles gets a bit uncomfy for me sometimes......#maybe im just overreacting and overanalysing........#im just passionate about nika ok?#and AGAIN i really have no idea what the fandom is doing so maybe its not bad over there#but i like sitting here in the methaphorical mariana trench where someone checks in every few weeks and thats about it#feeding on the marine snow(i.e. the very off chance someone besides me posts something fnin here)#its great honestly
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