#viddy game stuff

[seventh-district]

so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

[vigilskeep]

so it turns out that when you explore things in the video game you get things from the video game. who knew!

[one-little-nerd-stayed-home]

"GO SIT ON AN ISLAND MY MAN" Hey just a quick note - I would die for Whitney Jammer.

Truly bro of all time he immediately decides to be ride or die for the weirdest possible kid and never once looks back.

[mysunshine-youremoonlight]

i. do not want to go back to uni in a few weeks

[depvotee]

5 10 (bc some of these are a must for me okey???) pieces of media to describe me (no commentary)

Tagged @elgarwhore <3

thxs for the tag ^w^ im tagging @curiousstrawberry @vos-videmus @sleepfight @dorkousloris @strafethesesinners @dreamskug (It doesnt have to be like 10 like me, im just a beast <3)

[bittersweet-zarzamora]

it seems the lights are not gonna be cut tonight so yayyy

[keeps-ache]

1) i'm bad at games 2) i'm scared of people

[prettyboykatsuki]

hows everyone doing here man. whats the vibe

[heartbeetz]

Hope when antօn.blαst comes out it has multiple save slots so I can play through it normally but then also instantly jump into a secondary save file I intentionally keep slightly behind my main one to like. Be cringe and screencap/record cutscenes and stuff.

[uneclipsing]

being in pain at home all the time makes me feel like. i want to stay home for a few days and rest. but im already at home and resting to the best of my abilities so now what

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

awesome who's lila moment

[izzy-b-hands]

Deeply craving a food* I absolutely can't have bc it would require being in ND rn

*flying style pizza burger at Big Boy, if you're unfortunate enough to be stuck in Bismarck, ND for any period of time go have one, then another bc they're addictive like that lol. Everything there is good and the money is worth it. Plus you can hang out in the huge parking lot and the birds will eat fries you toss out if you sit and eat in your car, just maybe. only do a few for the sake of the birds' health tho jfdkalfjdl

(politically related worries/things under the cut abt ND and travel)

And had the realisation just now that keeps randomly hitting me and tbh I may have already posted abt it but

I can't go back. Like, ever, for the foreseeable future. It wouldn't be safe; I wouldn't want to risk it just for food of course lmao.

But I'm not going to be able to go this summer to see the oldest out of my three younger cousins get married (if I could find the money for it of course which I know I can't no matter how much I want to.) I can't take my fiance there to show aer all my favourite spots and restaurants. I can't take aer to the best place near the river to walk; it's got actual wooden walkways over the low tide/kind of marshy area before you get into deep water and can see fish swimming around. I'm not going to be able to visit my grandparents or my mum (tbh more worried abt grandparents than mum; they're only getting older and they aren't entirely happy since moving out of their old house and I worry so much abt them.)

I had known that this was already dangerous even before fuckface was back in office; ND is on the 'avoid travel if you can' category on all maps abt trans safety in different states. But like. There was still a tiny chance we could make it work. Be mindful and head straight back to our hotel if we didn't have a destination in mind (aside from walking the downtown area for the restaurants and shops.)

I don't know entirely how I feel abt this. Sad, but in a certain way bc of the above. I should have known it would only get more dangerous. And it's not an exciting place; I'll make fun of it until the day I die in the way you do when you spent most of your life in a place and know all the good and bad abt it. But I did still want to take Fiance there at least once for a longer period of time; just to see the things I mentioned and to figure out how much Big Boy food I can freeze and how many coolers Delta will allow on a flight as luggage and/or carry on. Not to ever move back (FUCK NO), just one last visit and then I would only go there for funerals or weddings or baby showers or things like that*

*if I could afford to, otherwise I'm just sending gifts. On that note, like my cousin's upcoming wedding; I knew there was basically no chance I could afford to fly or take a train back for it. They've got a registry and I'm still planning to buy them something despite them and my aunt and uncle making moves that suggest they've gone from begrudgingly supportive of me as a queer person to slowly pretending I no longer exist.

My cousin is, apparently refusing to send me a save the date or invite, and per my grandma it isn't bc she knows I can't afford to come back, but she won't tell her the actual reason for it. My grandma is telling me to hound her and make my mum ask her why she won't send it, but I think that we would even have to do that, which I don't want to, is an answer on it's own.

And that's okay, or at least I feel like I have to be okay with it. The cousins and their parents have always been openly trans and homophobic despite my grandparents, bless them, for trying once in a blue moon to scold them for it. I think I was 'one of the good ones' to them while I was there, but now that I'm not and they aren't around me as much, it's easier for me to be the family black sheep and they can be open about disliking me just for who I am. It hurts, but in a numb way bc like. Dramatic metaphor but the wound was already there from years of listening to their bs at family gatherings and having to sit there in silence so I didn't get accused of being rude to them by them and my mum's bf. It's just more knives trying to go through a fuck ton of scar tissue, so it doesn't hurt like it used to but. Still hurts enough to notice.

I'm really proud of those kids; I may have been parentified all to fuck but I'm still proud of how I did my best to help raise those kids. Tried hard to teach them about being polite but not letting ppl take advantage of you (thank you to the self help books in the middle and high school library for that knowledge. Still can't apply it to myself bc I'm seemingly stuck in people pleaser/doormat mode most of the time, but I'm glad to have it regardless), to be brave even when things are scary, and to try and be a helper instead of a bully, though unfortunately their parents are bullies to everyone including their kids and each other, so that bit didn't stick as well as I'd have liked.

I want the best for them and I miss them. They may not miss me, but I'm never going to stop wanting all the best for them and missing them.

[sharkiethedork]

i think i was destined to be a sonic fan as a child but it never happened. until now

[wereh0gz]

Coral cave act 1&2 mix playing in the bg

[satsuha]

About your third culture kid apollo post... You are one of the few people I've seen who understand that just because you grew up in different country with a different language (be it the different language being your mother tongue or not), doesn't necessarily mean that you'll remember it after you stopped speaking it! Trust me, I'd know. I used to speak three different languages when I was a kid, but once I moved out the country I spent my childhood in, I became bilingual 😅

😭 yeah!! language can deteriorate so easily and considering apollo probably had no people to speak khura'inese to at all, it'd be no surprise if he forgot how to speak most of it...

sort of a tangent but i have seen someone headcanon that apollo was adopted by khura'inese immigrants in japan which is a really nice thought but i wonder if it just further drives in the fact that even amongst khura'inese people, his childhood was Not Normal.... i'm still undecided what headcanon i prefer the most when it comes to apollo's life after he moved anyway

[girlbob-boypants]

I need to play more true turned based combat games for inspiration for the game I'm pretending I'll actually make