#Me personally i cant sleep at night over it
Text
shoma81081: I'm not cut out for this trend
#the most perfect casting of all timeeeeeeee#love in the air koi#love in the air japan#nagumo shoma#hamaya takuto#kirustag#idk who else cares about this so if u want to be tagged lmk#Me personally i cant sleep at night over it#kings of fanservice#fivearchive
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
…ok so I got inspired <3
.
.
.
Thesis in the tags
#OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT#Amelia is probably the most jealous person to ever relationship.#but it comes naturally ONLY for Javi. she never got jealous while dating Ollie or any of the previous partners.#but when she started dating javi—something flipped a switch in her and BOI OH BOI DID SHE GET. JEALOUS. OF EVERYTHING.#which kinda sucks because Javi is a music sensation and POPULAR 😭#and she’s Horny. SO. so. SO. horny. like. maybe it’s the Rafkonian biology but if he wakes her up in the middle of the night#saying ‘babe I’m horny’ she just. fucking. would go down on him. then and there.#LIKE SHE WOULD SEE HIM TAKING A PEACEFUL BATH AND GO ‘i wanna fuck you slide over’#and the exhibitionist kink 😭😭 don’t even get me started on that.#Javi was always a mama’s boy so he is THE best at cooking. his mom is even better. (typical desi mom Rina 😭👍🏻)#and so he makes them food. and she does the dishes because his prosthetics don’t let him do watery work good.#Amelia isn’t good with lovey dovey words. Javi is a POET.#HE TOLD HER HE LOVED HER BY WRITING HER A SONG#AND TELLING HER ‘you are the very oxygen i breathe’.#and he waited for her confession for three years 😭 for her to fall in love with him and for her to tell him she loved him#and like#idk man#also she steals all of his clothes.#Javi got vvv annoyed once realising she doesn’t have ANY super loose sweatshirts and comfortable things to wear. not even pyjamas.#(she used to prefer sleeping naked) but ever since she discovered Javi’s oversized hoodies… that fit juuust perfectly. theresno going back.#ever#anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk :D#they’re sooooo in love your honor I cant~#power rangers#power rangers dino fury#amelia jones#Javi garcia#cosmic fury#power rangers cosmic fury#dino fury
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
heartbreak so bad i will fix my sleep schedule over it-
#daisy.txt#no but rly i woke up earlier and went 'fuck this' and went right back to sleep bc idk. crying took it out of me#so now im just gonna fix my sleep schedule which works out for me ig!!!#bc i have an eye appt coming up at the beginning of august and its at a Normal Person Time#so staying up all night and sleeping during the day is. not good#its not good for me in general but like. still#im just like. im mad ig. like this happened back in march and now that things went Worse and he shut me out entirely......... ouchies!#kinda makes me wonder if i should eventually just leave the friend circle completely#it means the number of ppl i regularly talk to will shrink down by a Lot im sure#but like. if i were in their situation id pick him over me any fucking day#i just... i cant help but wonder what other ppl would think.#what would he say? would i become the villain in his story?#or would he tell the truth? that we're two ppl who drifted and then he shut me out out of nowhere?#this man is fucking 30 now and acting like this and im like. if u dont want to be friends then say thattttt ur old enough to not be cringe#abt it like this!!!!! i can handle a 'sorry i dont want to be friends actually' i cannot stand the radio silence !!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep
#the bin#uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep#deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower#maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the#next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh#i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come#over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet#i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks#hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice#tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb#i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember!#and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met#another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive#ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably#be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be.#i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i#cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum.#well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that.#i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain.#and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped#i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#so tired of my friend's bum ass partner getting in the way of things#dude is hella controlling and makes every room so awkward i cant stand it and acts like their grown ass needs my friend to do anything#we'll be hanging out at his place and hell be like#gotta go my partner wants to go to sleep and he needs me to do it#apparently#he never wants to end the hangout either it's always this person's decision#partner is lame as fuck too i seriously cant fathom what he sees in them#and every time we're chilling you better believe snapchat is open and they're talking#like BROOO LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD#IM MARRIED AND UR ACTINGLIKE THIS!!! LET THE BOY HAVE FUN OUTSIDE OF YOUR PRESENCE#like you LIVE togther you do not have to be attached at the messaging app like this#and rescheduling to do chores together is wild#it would be cute if this didn't happen every single time#and it's not cute because the partner is still controlling every second of his time#HERES THE THING HES WANTED A PROPOSAL#BUT THIS FUCK WONT PROPOSE#AND DOESNT WANT KIDS#BUT WONT BREAK UP WITH MY FRIEND WHO WANTS CHILDREN AND AND PROPOSAL#LIKE FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFFFFF#and they're open and every time another person joins he's talkig to me about how the partner pays wayyy more attention to the other one#AHHHHHHHHHHHH#BREAK UP#THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU#oh my god#hes coming over without partner and staying the night so we can talk without this bum over his shoulder#they're a cheater too#but it was onlyfans so it “isnt as bad”#the onlyfans of someone they both. know.#im pissed bruh#they just renewed their lease together too
1 note
·
View note
Text
[|87
#been burdening my friends and partner too much with bitching about life but talking abt it makes me feel better so. i’m here.#new job is awful. but in a weird way.#i’m learning things and love my coworkers and the location and clients and work itself#but my boss is. my god.#it’s a little local place owned by one woman operated from inside her extra home on her property#she runs everything#and she is nice but she is??? loud ig. abusively loud#she screams and cusses and berates and belittles everyone and like#they all think it’s silly. it’s just her personality. they laugh or shrug it off. it’s just how she is. but i can’t do it#every day i tear up or cry on the way home cus she raises her voice at me or i hear her cussing and screaming in the back about like#me fucking up. over silly things. like i took a message for her but didnt say it was urgent.#then i hear her in the back HOW COULD SHE FUCK UP LIKE THIS SHE SHOULD KNOW THIS SHIT THIS IS SUCH SIMPLE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HER#and i just cant handle it man!!!#and she is so nice and supportive and texts me almost every night to ask how i am and if i’m okay#and like fuck dude i guess?????? but im also!!!!! not!!!!!!!!#my partner and mom both said i should quit and i think im. gonna.#the other place that wanted me is still hiring. i’m gonna talk to them monday and see if i can take that job still#but fuck dude. i dont wanna tell my boss im leaving. i dont think she’ll blow up but if she does?????#idk#i just hate that things aren’t getting better. i dunno. i just wanna cry and sleep all day#hopefully i get the other job and my boss understands. we’ll see.#thanks for reading
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
my insomnia is apparently back with a vengeance which is uhhhhh great fucking fantastic cause my depression is doing the same thing, all my hope is in my psych appointment on monday i better be getting some new prescriptions because what the fuck besties.
#alex yells at the void#personal#i can still write though which is good#means i am not completely down the deep end anymore#i did not sleep last night though#24h without sleep and i will stay awake until the evening because i need to fix this shit#i cant catch a fucking break apparently#daddy issues? naaah i am over those it's the mommy issues now for some reason#and thoughts tm about my ex like brain i thought we've been over this#anyway totk is keeping me not sane but distracted and that's all i ask for
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I got up around 9am and it was already 30 degrees I'm----
Just kill me already it' be easier 😭
#personal#vent#it must've been like over 20 at night too#I could sleep for hours even with my window open#couldn't*#and I woke up sneezing and sniffling and both my eyes and head aching like#did my allergy just flare all of a sudden??? I dont get it...#I hate this heatwaves#we got an alert yesterday for extreme heat and then another today for today And tomorrow like----#I hate hate hate HATE IT#what even Im supposed to do?#I cant pass time with gaming cause it'll only turn my room into an oven and its already super hot inside#and going outside is okay but only for like 20 min max or Im gonna turn into a tomato and suffer sunburn#ughhhhhhh#sorry for all the ranting y'all the weather is just killer on me 😩#maybe I'll try some writing or outlining#tho this heat is really sapping away all the little enegy I have 😩😪
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes you just gotta sit down and realise that you kinda suck. and then you gotta learn to deal with that
#pigeon talks#i will not vent on main i will not vent on main i will not vent on main i will not vent on main#i'll write fucking poetry about it tomorrow i guess idk#or maybe i should just take my stupid meds that are meant to make me an okay person#fuuuck i haven't had time to go get more so i've just been. sad. snd angry. and miserable for a while#so much for not venting on main lmaooo#look. i've just been. weird lately. cause i've realised things about me. that. suck#basically i just find more and more Symptoms of autism and then hate myself over it which sucks because i love being autistic but fuck dude#it's just weird idk#i've also been thinking i have. like npd or smthn. but i cant tell if im just an arrogant unempethtic asshole because of. autism or the npd#they really don't make this shit easy do they#whatever. i should go to sleep#i'll prolly delete this in the morning when i wake up and realise im. being dramatic#im just. upset at myself for sucking. and i wanna blame someone else but i dont wanna be an arrogant unempathetic asshole#i can't blame other people cause its not their fault but i dont wanna blame myself because. thats Bad#i neee my meds man fuuuuuuck#okay good night for real this time#sorry i know this isnt the quality content you followed the the-pigeon blog for. i'll do better tmrw ok i pinky prommy
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#what sucks is the moment someone is super nice to me 😭 i start to liking them a lot#why am i like this 😭#i get shown any kind of decency or any genuine kindness I start to really like like them#then end up ruining the whole mood by telling them I like them 😂#i suppose finding some more attractive cause they're super nice to me stems from my childhood trauma LMAO#gotta love being a neglected kid 😭😂 it doesnt help when they're extremely pretty too 😭😭#lmao#what's wrong with me have some sense 😂 I know that just cause a person is nice to me doesnt mean they like like me or they even like me 😭#but i still can't help but start liking them 😂 its also probably cause i finally feel like someone cares about me 😭 then it goes back to#childhood trauma 😂 dude i cant lie being neglected while still having both parents is some thing else#cause its like I had both but they were always at work and when they got home would be so mean to each other mainly my dad to my mother;#the only did they'd ask if i was hungry but by the time grandma came to live with us that stopped and so they would not really talk to me#like i was talking to my cousin Richard on the night of the party; he asked why i dont talk to my dads side of the family#and he's super drunk and starts belittle and make light of the situation before i even start the main reason. so i told him to stop talking#over me and let me finish and stop belittling and making light of the reasons why i stopped talking to them entirely#then he got butt hurt and ended up waking his wife who was sleeping in the living room to go home.#i swear i have issues that i have yet to address lol and going to therapy doesnt work cause it makes me super uncomfortable so i stop going#after the first visits#😮💨 i can be so overwhelming why am i like this just cause they're nice to me doesnt mean they actually like me or even like like me 😭#i need to be better at accepting people's kindness without falling attached or like liking them a lot LMAO.#personal
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way that brains work is insane
#just woke up like ten minutes ago bc i was full hyperventilating and crying in my sleep !#so fun!#i had really vivid dreams last night for whatever reason and the last one was basically that my sister died and#the rest of the dream was just me mourning her and being upset over it in incredibly realistic ways#it was fucking horrible genuinely and even now after ive woken up im still anxious and devastated so thats awesome#like im aware that shes okay and shes alive in her room but holy shit dude#in the dream i even went through t he whole texting my partner about it and seeing their reaction and offer for support and stuff#and that was also fucking horrible bc it went so realistically#same with seeing my parents reactions to everything and seeing their reaction to me etc etc m#god yeah that was awful and i cant get the image out of my head#morning is off to a great start#aiilov-personal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag talk
#hey beans#going old school tag rambles here - not NSP related#just that I might a lil quiet over the next couple of weeks as I 'lost' an agreement with a friend#i agreed back in july/august last year that if i didn't manage to get 6 hours or more of sleep on 2 consecutive nights#across the next 8months then I'd go back to sleeping tablets#(just over the counter stuffs nothing dramatic dw)#i really thought i had the winning side of the agreement ngl but they reminded me this week :/#I also am still training the new person so work hours are long atm#and im almost losing my voice from explaining things#and the added gravel/depth to my voice makes it so tempting to continue fucking my voice up#i wont - but god its tempting#but if im gonna be working the hours i do and actually sleeping Imma have less time to make stuff for here :'(#especially for the first couple of weeks while i adjust to the loss of hrs in the day#Im also looking after my friends cats across the next week and doing boat construction and have a commission to make as well as my 9-6 job#okay it sounds like a lot when you list it but its not really (or at least not when you dont sleep...)#anyway i hope to be able to make some original content for here but i cant promise#sorry Beans#<3 <3 <3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
debating if i should just stay awake actually. I have less than 3 hours to nap/sleep before i have to wake up & leave for the appointment but since ive been up for so long i dont want to risk sleeping through my alarms.....
My appointments at 2:45. If i have to do paperwork/wait to be seen i'll probably be waiting about 15-30 minutes, then maybe 30-an hour for them to look at it? idk how long xrays/foot exams take. Then an hour back home, which would put me home at 5:30pm at the latest, which would give me at least 4.5 hours to sleep, which is slightly better than 3 hours & i know i'll wake up for my pm alarms
#she said as long as i get my insurance card/paystub emailed over the paperwork will be quick and i can be seen almost right away#so if im thinking positively i can be seen by like 3pm-3:15 hopefully finish the xrays & such in 30 minutes approximately#then an hour home. ideally if the universe aligns this just right for me i can be home/in bed by 4:30-5pm so thats at least 5 hours sleep#i usually run off 6-8 hours of sleep on a work night & typically i have help. im supposed to be working solo tonight#so whereas 5 hours of sleep isnt nearly ideal ive run off of far far less many times before#again. thank the freaking Divine that i can be seen today. i cant even describe the weight off my chest#emma rambles#personal
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
sparklingshimmer
Sparkling Shimmer
pxlishh
*𝖉𝖎𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖙!*
other-worldly-sh
OTHER WORLDLY
sanatanasgsd
Sanatanasundaragaura Sajal Das
rigginsstreet
texas forever 😔🏳️🌈