#feel too inexperienced to settle down. ill feel happy and sure if you come back. ill wait
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irissuite · 2 months ago
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🥭🎴🎸♟️🤺
#on the off chance that you see this because i know i gave you my url before we broke up#and i know you don't use this site but maybe if you end up curious#i hope you know i still love you and i always will and i havent been able to have anything with the same flavours as i used to drink#when i was over there and there are so many things I'll never do again. i used to do things in threes because i thought#if i didnt then youd leave me but it didnt really help anything and once the worst happened i lost any of the fear associated with it#so there was nothing to spiral about.#ive picked more things up like how i cant touch peeble - the jellycat you gave me- without washing my hands enough that i know theyre clean#and i sleep next to him every night and talk to him like hes a person. and i used to have to type out everything to you longhand without#using autocorrect or typing suggestions because i felt like that created a sense of lack of effort. i undetstand a lot now how ocd fucked u#my relationship with you and my sense of love at all. i think I'd still do anything to have you back and ill find something to do to pass#the time but I'll just be waiting for you to come back and trying in the meantime to collect as much as i can do so i can never be unsure o#feel too inexperienced to settle down. ill feel happy and sure if you come back. ill wait#but if you find someone else do you think youll tell me? do you think its possible there's someone out there youll love more than me#it'll hurt me to have to settle for 2nd place#text
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solohux · 5 years ago
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The Emperor & His Consort
For Celeste ❤️
Emperor Hux/Consort Kylo, Mpreg, Fluff, 1.6k
Enjoy!
The gentle, soothing sounds of Hux humming to him rouses the pampered consort from sleep, bringing him from his joyful dreams and into the land of wakefulness so softly that Kylo feels like he’s still dreaming. Beside him, the Emperor’s body is bathed in the golden sunlight that shines through the grand window beside their ornate bed, giving him a heavenly silhouette. Absently, Kylo can feel Hux’s soft hands grazing over the plump curve of his pregnant belly, gliding his fingers across the stretched skin that carries their unborn child. Yes, Kylo smiles, he’s so content that it feels like a dream.
“I’m sorry to wake you, my love,” Hux whispers, giving his consort a kiss on his forehead. “But breakfast is here and I’d hate for your panna cakes to go cold.”
“I thought I could smell them,” Kylo sits up, finding that Hux is already hopping out of bed to fetch the tray that carries Kylo’s breakfast. “Hux. A droid can do that. You’re the Emperor.”
“And does being Emperor mean that I can’t spoil my husband?” With his golden circlet-crown atop his head and wearing his black silk pyjamas, he gently places a tray on Kylo’s lap, mindful of how his belly is in the way.
“A little,” Kylo shrugs, raising an eyebrow. “If your people saw you doing this, they’d think you were ill.”
“It isn’t my fault that they’re still obsessed with traditional views of leadership.” Hux sits back down on the bed, holding his china cup and saucer containing his favourite morning drink of tarine tea. “To them, our unborn child is nothing more than you fulfilling your duty as a consort. They care not for your happiness or your desires, only for the succession of my bloodline.”
“Thanks,” Kylo says, mouth full of warm panna cakes drenches in syrup.
“You know what I mean, Ren,” Hux reaches for a napkin and wipes a stray drop of syrup from Kylo’s plush lips. “Our child is nothing but an heir to them. It’s preposterous to them that we would be having a child because we’re in love and want one.”
Kylo knows that Hux is right: from the moment that his pregnancy was announced to the people of the Second Empire almost seven months ago, compliments flooded in from the Empire’s people of how strong Hux must be to plant his seed in such a pretty consort and how his heir will be born with their mother’s beauty and their father’s intelligence. Kylo recalls fighting back laughter at common folk talking of him as though he’s nothing more than a metaphorical oven for Hux’s buns to warm in, an incubator for heirs, a pretty face for the Emperor to merely look at. He rubs his hand over his belly, feeling terribly insecure all of a sudden.
“Kylo? Did you hear me?”
Hux’s hand upon his own brings Kylo from his thoughts, “Hm?”
“Where did you go, darling? You looked distant.”
“Nowhere,” Kylo lies but caves under the pressure of his husband’s stare a moment later. “I hate how they see me. I’m still strong with the Force, I’m still a Knight. There just isn’t a war for me to fight in at the minute but I’ll give them one if they want to see what I’m capable of.”
“We can change your title if you want to, Ren. You can be my Knight instead of my consort if you so wish. Regardless of what you’re called, you’re still my husband.”
“I want to be your consort—just that. But it’s like people have forgotten the blood that was shed by me to conquer the galaxy. I wish people weren’t so…judgy.” Kylo stops to touch his tummy, rubbing over where he felt their child kick. Grimacing, he stretches out with the Force and finds the baby’s untamed signature, faint and new, using his powers to soothe her.
“Are you alright? Should I fetch the medic?” Hux’s hand covers Kylo’s where it rests on his pregnant bump, clearly worried.
“It’s fine. She’s just…unsettled.”
“Maybe she can feel how stressed you are. She doesn’t like it when their mother is upset. But I know what will make you feel better.”
“What?” Kylo finishes the last mouthful of his breakfast and sips at his sweet tea, absently thinking of how he’s only got a few weeks left until he can have caf again.
“One moment,” Hux gives Kylo a small peck on his cheek before jumping out of bed, disappearing into the main chamber before coming back in with a tall droid following him. Its two arms are extended upwards, carrying two outfits and ensuring that their tails aren’t dragging along the tiled floor.
“Hux.” Kylo sets the tray aside, one hand on his tummy as he shuffles to the end of the bed, in awe of the clothes.
“I noticed that your current robes no longer—uh—fit,” Hux rubs the back of his neck, absently hoping that he hasn’t offended his husband. “So I had the tailor create something new for you.”
Kylo can’t stop smiling, imagining himself in his new clothes. One set of robes is dark—black, his favourite colour—in a soft material, akin to what his old robes were made out of during his stint as Supreme Leader, only fresher and cleaner this time. The next set is a deep red silk tunic, complete with a matching cape and golden clasp.
“I’m presuming that your silence is a good thing, my love.” Kylo hadn’t noticed that Hux has come to sit beside him on the bed, winding a stray piece of his dark hair around his finger.
“They’re beautiful,” Kylo says, leaning in to the touch and stealing a long kiss from his husband. “You spoil me.”
“My darling,” Hux waves the droid away, wanting privacy as he teasingly slides his hand across Kylo’s bare thigh. “It’s my honour.”
                                 | . . . . . 3 Months Later . . . . . |
Even a month after the Princess’s birth, gifts and congratulations still pour in from the Second Empire’s people and its allies, blessing the royal Hux-Ren family with more presents than they have use for. Both the Emperor and his consort rest in the palace’s grand drawing room after another day of sending out thanks to their kind public and whilst still being new, inexperienced parents.
Kylo is nestled in the corner of the couch, knees tucked under himself and wearing the comfortable cotton-blend robes that his darling husband gifted him after the birth. Hux kneels on the floor amongst the pile of beautifully wrapped gifts—all pre-checked by the palace’s most trusted security members.
“What is that?” Kylo laughs as he asks his husband the question, amused by Hux’s face. In the consort’s strong arms lies their month-old daughter, wide awake and fussing for her mother’s attention. Cleo already has a head of soft red hair, some of which peeks out from underneath her little hat, one that matches her white babygrow. She’s still so small, able to rest in the crook of one of Kylo’s arms without too much of a problem; it’s her favourite place to be.
“I’m not sure,” Hux examines the colourful glass block in his hand, puzzled.
“Who’s it from?”
“The royal family of Exoisha Prime,” Hux reads but it sheds no light on the odd gift.
“What’s a baby meant to do with a glass block?” Kylo laughs, and it’s as though Cleo tries to mimic him and makes a gurgling sound, lifting her tiny hand. Her mother taps his finger against the baby’s and Cleo grabs it gently, making Kylo blush with glee.
“I think that’s enough for tonight,” Hux sets the block aside and sighs, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t think my mind can take much more of ‘guess the present’.”
“We’ll send out thank you notes, anyway,” Kylo shrugs. “We don’t have to be specific.”
“Good,” Hux sits down beside his husband, leaning against his arm and looking down at their daughter, finding that her big brown eyes are looking back at him. “Hello, darling. Do you want Daddy to hold you for a while?”
Cleo kicks her legs and lets go of Kylo’s finger, obviously excited by her father’s presence as she gurgles and tries to smile—still a little young yet—but Kylo can sense in the Force that she wants to be held by Hux.
“I carried her and spent forty hours in labour for her,” Kylo mutters, giving Cleo a gentle kiss on her head. “And you’re still her favourite.”
“Gingers have to stick together, Ren,” Hux chuckles, settling their daughter into his arms and rocking her gently.
“The pair of you will be ganging up on me soon,” Kylo rests his head against Hux’s shoulder, reaching to gently pull off Cleo’s hat to reveal her soft, fluffy red hair, using his fingers to gently style it until it’s all sticking up, amused with himself.
“Well, can you blame her for wanting to come to me when you make fun of her like this?”
“She likes it,” Kylo smiles. “Look.”
True to his word, Cleo is lying very still and staring up at Kylo as he plays with her hair, gently running his fingers through it to make it flat again, both parents smiling.
The fire crackles in the marble fireplace as the Hux-Ren family rest quietly together. It isn’t long before Kylo finds himself dozing against his husband’s shoulder and Cleo is sound asleep in her father’s arms, leaving Hux the only one awake in the drawing room. He daren’t move, too afraid to disturb either one of his sleeping darlings. Kylo breathes heavily, curled up against Hux’s side whilst Cleo rests in his arms and sleeps peacefully with her head against his chest, leaning into his warmth.
It’s the happiest future that Hux can ever have hoped for.
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lunaraen · 6 years ago
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“I’d rather spend Christmas with you.” with f!jesse n olivia? if that’s ok ofc,, ;v;’
There’s no perfect invention, nomachine or set-up that’s entirely foolproof or without some kind of potentialfor error. Still, an inventor strives to recognize errors and flaws, and it’stheir duty, surely as it is to create and invent at all, to twist mistakes intopositive aspects rather than detractors if and when they can’t, or shouldn’t,be removed.
Olivia’s biggest flaw is herpessimism. It’s also her biggest strength, something that’s oddly easier to seethe more confident she becomes.
Is she a flawed person?
As flawed as redstone isincredible, as flawed as the snow is beautifully cold, and as flawed as thewind is noisy and biting on frozen winter nights like this.
(Surrounded by trees but feelingfar more like she’s wandered into the tundra than a city built in the middle ofa forest, winter makes its presence known from the frost on the windows to thefading numbness where the cold had soundly nipped her nose. Olivia can, noweven more than when she arrived, understand why Lukas has been walking arounddraped in at least half a dozen blankets.
Inside is warm, but outside isn’thalf as far away as they’d all liked, loud and cold and desperately darting inwhenever the doors open and biding its time as it seeps through the windows,slow and insidious instead.)
It’s important to see and knowshe’s flawed, to acknowledge it without letting it drag her down.
It’s good at dragging, and betterat yanking down and down to a stateof trying nothing and bemoaning all, and Olivia consciously chooses to insteadlet it ground her the way some of her idols never seemed grounded.
(Olivia’s not trying to speak illof the dead and disappeared, but Soren never seemed to find himself at faultenough to make him solve the problems he caused, and Ellegaard, bright andbrilliant and amazing as she was, seemed to have a similar problem when it cameto seeing herself as infallible.
Olivia’s mostly sure there’s no long-lasting grudge bleeding into thatassessment, distantly wounded by how Ellegaard had brushed her off but notincensed the way Axel still seems to be about what he heard of their firstencounter.
Ellegaard will always be one ofher favorite heroes, someone to look up to and admire, but she’s not beingidolized by Olivia anymore, not as she once was.)
“I love Redstonia, but,well… I’d rather spend Christmas with you.” She tugs at one corner ofthe blanket wrapped around her and Jesse’s shoulders, readjusting her hotchocolate to keep it from spilling and the marshmallows from tumbling out.
It’s after a moment’s careful butvital deliberation that she ends up setting the mug down on the coffee table,close enough to grab but not as risk of being knocked over by anyone’s knee,and the next moment is just as important because she hasn’t seen Jesse inperson in weeks and she’s going to do more than just relish being able to kissher on the cheek.
Relishing the way said cheekturns pink, along with the rest of Jesse’s face, is a different but whollyrelated bonus.
“I’m sure avoiding another fancy Redstonian ball has nothing to dowith it.” Jesse’s brief, posh tone is made all the more brief by thesnicker that kills it, though Olivia’s following jab to her ribs makes sure itstays dead, replaced by a wounded but sheepish tone. “Ow.”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt. I’vehad enough of fancy events and pompous people to meet this year, thanks.”Olivia turns her head, squinting over her shoulder as she tries to look pastthe thick cover of frost coating the windows to get a better, if stilldistorted, look at the many multicolored lanterns and displays on the tallerbuildings. “Beacontown celebrations seem a lot more lively.”
“Lively? I thought it wasplenty lively for you guys last year– didn’t Sandy’s machine explode?”
Olivia wants to say she doesn’twince at the reminder.
Olivia wants to lie.
“Everyone still blamesMabel– she was the closest to it, at the time.” Olivia’s chuckle is weak,faltering as she shrugs before finding a gentler smile to replace it with.“Okay, so lively isn’t the right word. I love Redstonia, I really do,but… Beacontown seems a lot more carefree, when it comes to thesethings.”
“Only because it isn’t yourcity.”
Jesse grins, all teeth andenthusiasm and put-upon exhaustion, and Olivia fears her hot chocolate’s notout of the blast radius of a tickle fight or whatever whimsical, shove-ynonsense Jesse’s going to pull.
“Oh?”
Her raised eyebrow might notprevent or protect much, but she has to try.
“I’m just saying you mightfeel different if you were the one in charge of setting up the events andcelebrations.”
“Please. We all pitched inthose first few years.” Not that Jesse made them, but Jesse was even moreinexperienced back then, just like the rest of them, and somehow determined todo it all on her own even when she had friends perfectly willing to help.“If you want to spend Christmas with Axel in Boom Town and leave things tome and Radar, we’ll handle it just fine.”
Olivia’s voice goes mockinglyposh, a close replica of Jesse’s own attempted accent. It gets her anothernudge and a wider grin.
“And leave poor Calvin withall the work for your city? I’ll let him know as soon as I pack up for BoomTown.” There was a brief pause for the sake of letting them both giggle asthey settled more onto the couch, Jesse’s head finding its way to resting onOlivia’s shoulder. Her voice is still warm, still joking, even if it’s softer.“So, you want to stay just for my city?”
“I can’t imagine why elseI’d want to stay here.”
“Hot cocoa and warmcuddles?” Another shift, Jesse’s chin now on her shoulder as the toothygrin returns. “Eyelash kisses and mumbled carols?”
“You’re as sickly sweet asthe eggnog.”
“You like eggnog.”
“And I like you,”Olivia’s lips are on her cheek again for half of a moment, chuckle breakingthrough the smile that breaks through the kiss itself, “believe it ornot.”
Jesse’s head is back to restingagainst her shoulder, fingers playing with one of Olivia’s sleeves.
“I don’t know; you almosthad me fooled.”
“I love you. Even if you’remore gullible than Axel gets when cookies are involved.”
Jesse’s nose scrunches at thecomparison, but they’ve known each other too long and Jesse doesn’t try to denyor keep up that line of teasing.
“Is he still hunting forthose?”
“Who knows?” While notstaying here for the entire holiday season– not yet, anyway, though his plansare as volatile and prone to change as anything else he does– he’s beenenjoying what’s already set up in the city, the attractions and decoratedstores and some kind of crazy cookie hunt only he could get involved with.“I’m sure he’ll let us hear all about it.”
Jesse snorts, saying nothing asshe slumps, curling up on herself and hogging more of the blanket.
Olivia’s favorite hero,personally, above Ellegaard but more closely ranked among the rest of Olivia’samazing friends, is Jesse.
Because Jesse, who still doesn’tknow two licks about redstone and sees the best in everyone to an almost naivedegree, is anything but naive, has been hurt and beat down in so many ways, hasclawed her way to this happy ending, this break, this peace for herself and forthe rest of them and still manages to be so warm and kind.
It’s what only fools would call aflaw and what is ultimately her best trait.
It’s out of bravery that Jesseforgives so much, and it’s times like this where it seems to have paid off, thetwo of them curled around each other and enjoying a peace they haven’t gottento known in the face of adventure and danger and the ultimate trial that ispaperwork.
Olivia’s thoughts may be morenegative than she cares for, but it’s because of them that she recognizes justhow lucky she is to have Jesse.
Jesse, who’s forgiven the oldOrder, who’s accepted Ivor as one of them and helped him become part of theirodd misfit family, who’s always insisted on checking on the Blaze Rods whenevershe visits Sky City, who’s given Harper a world to call home and a family torely on, has always seen something in Olivia.
That sort of optimism, not trulyblind but searing in its kindness and so strong, is something Olivia herselflacks and something Jesse has always had.
For the best, really, given wherethey started, three misfit disasters and a pig.
Axel, for all his pranks andjokes back then and his more clever spins on old tricks now, is more realisticin the way Olivia is, optimistic but with understandable breaking points, andOlivia wonders how long the two of them would have struggled to stay afloatafter so many failures and in the face of so much disaster without Jesse.
Jesse’s always been the lifeline,there to keep them together and whole and happy.
It’s not that Olivia can’t standthe idea of spending Christmas without her, but the idea of staying here, ofbeing home and with Jesse rather than surrounded by lovable but eccentricinventors, is beyond tempting.
(Avoiding any seasonalexplosions, because Sandy might be better this year but Mabel has so manybrilliantly reckless ideas, helps.)
So, because Jesse never said no and won’t stop grinning like she’sfully aware of that, Olivia resolves to send a letter to Calvin, who’s alreadycompleted most of the setup with her and has assured her he’s used to, if notslightly possessive of, handling the finishing touches on his own, in themorning through the portals and to enjoy her first taste of Beacontown holidaysetup in a while. Tomorrow.
Maybe late tomorrow morning,depending on how much cuddling she can get out of this.
If nothing else, Olivia’s sureRadar, as much of a wreck and as high-strung as she used to be without theexperience of holding it back that she’s struggled to get, would like thebreak.
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osmw1 · 6 years ago
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Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 23
Arleaf’s father stands up to stop me, but only to have the air choked out of him by his cough.
“Muu! Hold him back!” “Mu!”
Following my order, Muu leaps at Arleaf’s dad. I don’t think he’s exactly a match for Muu right now, but hopefully that’ll buy me some time.
Muu tackles the apothecary and pins him down face-up. Just to be sure, I hit him with a bit of Mild Paralysis Poison.
“Gah!—cough…”
That should buy me some time.
“Yukihisa?!”
Arleaf scoldingly calls my name out in, worried for her dad.
“It’ll be alright. I’m gonna save your parents... though I’m doubtful whether they’d drink this.”
I probably look like I’m being pretty stubborn right now. But this medicine is really tricky to make, and I don’t want to be liable for accidentally killing anyone. Of course, I don’t want anybody butting in. It might have been a little heavy-handed of me, but it’s because I don’t trust myself doing this.
“No… I think Father will drink it once he understands what it is. He mentioned that the potions you previously made were quite good.”
Is that right… rather, will he really understand?
‘Then explain it to them. Medicines with Marphina as the main active ingredient are effective against Bloodflower.’
I explain on Veno’s behalf.
“The disease manifests itself in the shape of a flower on the chest. That’s because Bloodflower is borne out of these tiny parasitic mold-type monsters that live on the patient’s chest.”
I didn’t think there’d be monsters like that. I guess not all monsters are visible to the naked eye. It really makes me feel as if being a Poison-Wielder is playing on easy-mode in this world. Everybody else has it rough.
“Marphina by itself has the same poisonous effect on the body as it does on the monster. But when mixed with Red Deathfire, it becomes more effective against the mold yet neutralizes the poison for the host. It even gains some antidotal effect.”
I get it now. That’s why you said it’s instantly curable. You just have to kill the monsters.
‘It is said that these mold-type monsters were the spawn of an infamous monster. The infamous monster has already been slain, but its creation lives on.’
The toxic mold monsters are instantly killed by the antidote. That’s why the symptoms go away immediately too. … does that mean the viruses and bacteria in this world are all monsters?
‘The only answer I can give thee is that it depends on the situation. There exist illnesses not caused by monsters. Bloodflower, though, is one caused by a mold-type monster.’
Whatever it may be, it’s a troublesome one. I don’t even know if I understand it completely myself. I’m not an apothecary. I’m just a Poison-Wielder and an inexperienced one at that. But if I can’t get them to understand it, they won’t take the medicine.
“That’s why Bloodflower doesn’t do much to people with high levels. The monsters’ attack is ineffective, so they just give up.”
I see. Because poison kills the parasites, I’m practically immune to this disease. The poison coursing through my body is deadly enough to immediately kill them.
“Your medicine lacks enough poison to kill off the Bloodflower. That’s why I’ve added in the plant that causes suffocation, Pogneuk, and deadly Dietetrodake spores; five percent by volume, to be exact. With that ratio, it should be harmless to the user but deadly enough to wipe out the monsters. Do you get it?”
The Mild Paralysis Poison subsides. Arleaf’s dad stays quiet and remains restrained by Muu. He doesn’t look too happy about it. I signal Muu to get off him.
‘What else is there… aye. Thou ought to prove to them that thine medicine is safe, so consume some in front of them. Well, even if the medicine were to be a failure and turns out to be lethally poisonous, thou shall be fine testing for poison with thine Poison Absorption.’
That plan’s just downright dirty… with that said though, I have no choice but to do it like this.
“I’ll prove it to you guys by drinking some first. I probably have been infected just by being here, but if not, it’ll work as a vaccine for me. With this, may I have your trust?”
Arleaf rushes to her dad’s side and nods at me.
“… I don’t think Yukihisa is mistaken about this. Father, won’t you give this a try?” “Cough cough… how boorish of you to get handsy on me, but I get what you’re trying to say. But I won’t trust you unless I see you drink some of what you’ve just made, seeing how it almost all poison. Don’t you fail now.” “Yes, sir.”
With his consent, I add five percent of what seems like pure poison… and mix thoroughly with the medicine Arleaf’s dad has made. I check if I had made this right.
Specialized Medicine Quality: Superior A fairly dangerous medicine made from toxic substances. Can heal certain illnesses. Extremely dangerous when ingested in large amounts.
‘A spoonful should be enough for it to work.’
It looks just like a regular potion and nothing more. I let it cool down to room temperature and drink a spoonful of it. It’s got… a particular flavor. A strong nose of osmanthus. Detect Poison didn’t activate, so I should be fine.
“Is this good enough?” “Cough… hold your horses. What if you go ‘Urgh!’ and fall over dead as I take a sip?”
Well, fair. Not much I can do but wait about ten minutes. As fine and unperturbed as I seem, Arleaf’s father looks at me with dubious eyes. His suspicion leads him to retrieving an expensive-looking bottle of antidote from a cupboard. He’s a cautious one.
“Father, wouldn’t it be less effective if you take both the medicine and antidote together?” “Arleaf! You were watchin’, weren’t ya? If he screwed up at all, I’m drinking nothing but poison. I’ve got to be prepared.” “Goodness… Yukihisa tested it for poison already! You’re being rude! Now, hurry up and take some of the medicine.”
Arleaf helps her father drink some of the medicine I had prepared.
“Ugh…”
It works promptly.
“Cou—huh?!”
Shocked, Arleaf’s father stops mid-cough and pats his chest. The petals on his chest disappear, as does the paleness on his face. He truly has fully recovered in an instant.
“What in the gods’ names?! I’ve been cured that easily?!”
That’s quick for sure. It took almost a whole second. The reason why it’s so easily curable is because monsters were the cause of it. Well… I might be cherry-picking, but the medicine in this world is amazing. It’s just like in a game, where your ailments heal at once.
‘Bloodflower may be dangerous, but the monsters are weak. Take the appropriate steps and they are easily defeated.’
They may be resistant to all sorts of potions and antidotes, so they do have some kind of fortitude. Not to mention, they’re microscopic, just like a virus. They’re bound to quickly die if you pump your body full of poison.
“Bloodflower isn’t really a disease and this isn’t really a cure… it’s monster hunting.” “Monsters, huh? No wonder medicine doesn’t really work…”
Seems like he believes me now. Well, he should naturally, seeing how effective the medicine was.
“How amazing… it worked this quickly.”
Arleaf chimes in, her voice filled with joy.
“The antidotal properties of the medicine you mixed up is enough to neutralize it. Well, make it safe enough to consume in small amounts at least. You should hurry and give some to Arleaf’s mom as well. We can eradicate this village of Bloodflower.” “By the by, thou shall gain a fair amount of experience just by being near someone who is cured by thy medicine. Furthermore, the medicine is effective against similar diseases.”
I ignore Veno’s good-for-nothing comments. Luckily, only Muu and I can hear him. Let’s see… we’ve also got to eradicate this epidemic. Else Veno’s worst case scenario might become a reality.
I had Arleaf’s mom take some of the medicine her husband and I made, and she quickly recovers too. It took some potions and healing magic to compensate for her depleted stamina, but she’s fit to be out and about by tomorrow morning. The next morning, the medicine made with Veno’s instructions was distributed amongst the villagers. And as expected, Bloodflower no longer plagues the village. For the next few days, I took on the role of apothecary and supervised the production of this cure.
It goes without saying, but everyone in this village and the next village over knows my name. They’ve all been impacted by the epidemic and all have gone through rough times. Desperate for a cure, people from nearby villages come to purchase medicine. Well, the ones afflicted by Bloodflower hoping to find an easy cure do so. Adventurers have returned as well, bringing their liveliness back to this village.
“Oh, Cohgray. You goin’ out?”
The proprietress was previously bound to her bed but now seems to feel much better. She suddenly calls out to me as I walk past the reception desk. Her bag-of-bones figure is a thing of the past. In a mere few days, she’s back to a healthy look for her size. Apparently, her other illnesses had complicated, but after a few trips to the apothecary, it seems like she’s fully recovered.
As a result of her vitality returning… all the fat she’s lost had resurfaced. Or something like that. However it may be, that sickly appearance is no more. I’ve even seen her borrows Muu’s axe to split firewood. They say she was a pretty famous adventurer back in the day.
“Yeah, the apothecary has just called me over.” “That right?  Yer givin’ it all every day, aren’tcha? Well, this is all thanks to you anyway. Ain’t that right, Muu-Muu?” “Mu!”
I’m glad she’s so bright and energetic now, but I wish she’d stop grinning at me all the time.
“Hey, why don’t I introduce ya to my niece? She’s a sweetheart.” ‘She is attempting to coerce thee into a marriage. Avoid it.’ “Oh, uhh, I’m flattered. Really. But I haven’t really haven’t given that kind of thing much thought yet.” “That right? Cohgray, yer about that age, aren’tcha? Might be a good time for you to settle down.”
Ah, jeez. She’s changed classes from Invalid to Nosy Auntie. She may be letting me stay for cheap, but damn. Time to bust out a secret ancient Japanese technique—the ol’ vague non-answer.
“I-I’ll think about it.”
It’s a roundabout way to reject her offer, but I wonder if it works in this world.
“Heh heh.”
Ah, crap. She laughed. Gah… what should I do?
‘”I do not have the time of day for your niece!” would have been acceptable, I believe.’
Yeah, acceptable for picking a fight!
“Sorry for holdin’ you up. Take care out there. You too, Muu-Muu.”
The proprietress thoughtfully sends us off.
“Mu!” “Right. I’ll be back.”
With that, we leave the inn for the apothecary.
“Oh, Yukihisa!” Arleaf greets me in front of her family’s shop.
“You’ve made it, eh, Cohgray?”
The doctor calls my name with an annoyed look on his face.
“How is progress, doctor? Not just with the village… the whole thing.” “It’s tapering off. Surely you know too.” “Well, yeah…”
He lets out a heavy sigh.
“Now then… it’s time we discuss payment.”
previously: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /next/ (full list of translated chapters) (discussion thread on Novel Updates) (please support me on Patreon or Paypal)
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writinanon · 6 years ago
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Goddess of War II
Rook had known she was different from the first time that her mother put a spear in her hand and showed her how to throw it. Normal mothers apparently do not do this. How was Rook to know? Normal mothers also don’t call you after the Ancient Tongue that mortals cannot speak for it became Taboo and then they simply forgot. Normal mothers are mortal. And mortal mothers are not Freyja. But Rook wouldn’t trade her mother for anything in the world. When it was time to be on her own Rook chose the northern Hemisphere of the New World for she had heard it had many forests and many fields. The southern Hemisphere was filled more with jungle than forests, though she would like to see the salt flats reflect the sky.
The first signs that Rook was very different came when she decided to join the police force. She was living in upstate New York; lush and green why would anyone want to be in that forsaken city? But they had almost laughed her away, claiming her beauty was too much. That she couldn’t have any idea how hard it would be to be a cop. As she excelled in firearms and in law and being a stronger and better protector than anyone else they whispered she was sleeping around to get her grades, that she was an air head. She chose to leave policing, it was too prejudice to accept her. She searched and searched until she found some place that reminded her of home, she was sick for it. Her talks with her mother were infrequent and she wanted someplace to feel herself again. Hope County, Montana was perfect. Rural and secluded it reminded her of the valley she was raised in. She took the position as soon as possible.
The Sheriff was kind, benevolent and warm. He viewed her as young and inexperienced but that wasn’t a bad thing, merely something it would take time to correct. He didn’t comment on her looks or her body. He praised her skills and welcomed her with open arms. It was nice to have a man to look up to. Rook’s uncles were distant at best of times, at worst they were Loki and teaching her magics her mother didn’t want her to know until she was older for good reasons. Staci was also kind, a more familiar brotherly teasing like Rook had with her cousins and with Hel’s children. Joey was distant, from what Rook gathered it was her partner that she was replacing and that Joey felt responsible for his death. Soothing the pains of death was not a skill that Rook had but her mother told her patience and sincere foods were a good start. The final Deputy, Nancy, made chills crawl down Rook’s spine the first time they met. There was something wrong with her. It wouldn’t be until much later that Rook learned of Nancy’s involvement with the Cult, but the sensation of ill intent had been there before.
Being the daughter of the Goddess of Fertility, Love, Beauty, Sorcery, and Gold would have been simple enough. But Freyja was also the Goddess of War and a Goddess of Death. These parts of her nature were ignored by many, especially with Christianity rolling through if it didn’t destroy her completely it rendered her helpless. Freyja was not helpless. Rook was not helpless, but even fighting the criminals of Hope and having that be her ‘war’ to take tithe from was leaving a burning itch under her skin.
“I’m happy here, I am. I just… Sometimes I feel like razing it to the ground and sitting among the ashes.” She confided to her mother.
“Oh I expect you’ll have more fun than you realize soon enough Kit.” Her mother stroked her hair as several of her new kittens crawled over her. Rook hummed and smiled as one had finally managed to climb up her side and was now seated on her chest.
“If the government would listen to us I could pluck Eden’s Gate from were they have settled. I would enjoy rooting out their vines and ripping them from the ground.” It was rare that she allowed herself to revel in such thoughts, mostly to keep those that she had come to love in the time she’d been here safe. Rook was a Goddess herself, in her own ways. She lacked her mother’s sorcery gifts but held beauty, she suspected most all Immortals did it was rare that they were ugly and even if they were it was still better than mortal standards, fertility, she could make anything grow, and love with ease. But the things that her mother passed to her that had taken deepest root were War and Death. It was why she became an officer of the law, she could ‘fight’ crime. She had briefly considered military life but concluded it would end in more bloodshed than it would be worth.
“Hm.” Her mother hummed to regain her attention. “Is that Little Man giving you troubles?” Her mother’s smile was frightening.
“You know of Joseph Seed?” Rook sat up and turned to fully face her mother. Freyja chuckled softly.
“Shortly after you left he came, visiting Home. Your grandmother had Foreseen him, had Seen them all really and so I took a look. He’s an amusing Little Man, isn’t he?”
“I haven’t met him personally but the Sheriff fears him, in truth they all fear him.” It worried her, this undercurrent of fear that the County lived under. It was oppressive. It was cruel. It beckoned to that violent nature she kept tightly under lock and key.
“Perhaps you’ll have your chance to destroy him for them then.” There was a warming thought. To take away the fears of those she cares for. She said nothing but knew she had to return home shortly. “I hate that you went so far, was Iceland truly so bad?”
“I must make my own way Mother, all of us must.” Freyja wrinkled her nose but pressed a kiss to Rook’s forehead.
“Be safe my little Kitten. Reign hell upon thy enemies.”
“Be safe Mom. Slay those that would oppress you.��� She stood and made the necessary portal back to her ranch. Magic was not her strong suite but what she could manage she was a master craftsman. She stepped through and stood in her bedroom. Tomorrow would bring good things.
“God will not let you take me.” Joseph Seed was issuing her a challenge. His eyes were boring into hers. He offered his hands, as though he wanted her to fast them. She almost wanted to, here in this moment she felt weak for the first time since she was a child. Weak to a man of all things. She shook it off and took his hands to cuff his wrists. There was recognition in his eyes, he remembered her mother. She almost smirked at him, almost told him that he didn’t understand what he was asking for with his challenge. “Sometimes it’s better to leave well enough alone.” He whispered to her, eyes tracing over her face. Her stomach clenched and she almost kissed him. Instead she pulled him away, to the helicopter that would crash. She had no doubt that they wouldn’t be reaching their destination. She made sure to slow time just a little. Just so she could speak with him.
“If you want war, you’ll get it.” She promised, smile curling onto her lips. Yes, this was what she wanted, she wanted to take everything he held dear and crush it into dust, prove she could. She would prove her strength to him, show him that she was not a mortal that she was a Goddess. For a long moment he just stared at her and then a strange serenity took him and he started to sing. Amazing Grace.
John’s hands on her shoulders held her under and she struggled. Not that this would really kill her but emptying the lungs of water was painful. And then Joseph came. Stating she was to be saved, hinging John’s salvation on it. She watched them, waiting. She wondered if Joseph intended to try and convert her, truly convert her, to his side. How interesting. It would take much groveling and promises and tithing but deep in her heart she knew it possible. But first her friends would need to be freed. Who said she had to follow the whims of a Man? He wanted a War and she would give it to him.
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darthrevaan · 7 years ago
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If you're still up for Old Kingdom prompts, can I request something featuring the clones and/or Ahsoka? I still can't get the "Fallout: Ancelstierre" thing in particular out of my head, lmao
So this is some Ahsoka, bc I know you love her ;) I went through a couple of iterations of what Ahsoka’s backstory would be, but I wanted to bring in all the new worldbuilding Nix gave us in Goldenhand somehow, so here goes nothing :D
The girl Anakin had brought back was clearly from theNorthern Tribes. Obi-Wan had seen a few of them at the Glacier; theyoccasionally sent traders, most of whom dealt in furs and horses. There wassomething mischievous about her face and her smile, and she darted around thecamp like a little bird, flitting here and there between the tents, catchingthe eyes of all the occupants. Most of them had never seen anyone from theNorthern Tribes before, even though they came to Belisaere on diplomaticmissions every once in a while.
“Why exactly is she here?” Obi-Wan asked, watching her asshe chatted with some of the soldiers. “We can’t afford to send parties back tosafety, even to protect refugees.”
“She’s not a refugee,” Anakin said, “She’s been here for thepast three months. She knows the land. She says she knows what the Dead creature is, where it hides, itsstrategies. She says she’ll help us.”
Obi-Wan gave her another long, considering look. “She’llhelp us? For what price?”
“Her tribe sent her down here following rumours that thisarea had been abandoned. They want a new place to settle, away from the dangersin the north. Ahsoka said she’d help us if I promised to get the Queen to granther tribe this land, as well as the protection of the Kingdom.”
Obi-Wan sighed. “That’s not a small promise, and I don’tknow how much help-”
“Obi-Wan, we know nothing about Lospoth, let alone thisparticular area of it. She’s been here, fighting these creatures, for threemonths. She can help us.”
“Yes, but extending the Queen’s protection to any group isn’ta small matter. You already pushed the boundaries by letting theAncelstierrians across the Wall. The Queen was forgiving of that because it wasin line with her plans; she’s made no mention of allowing the Northern Tribesto settle on depopulated land within the Kingdom. She may not be particularlyhappy with you making promises in her name without consulting her.”
“I know that,” Anakin said, “I considered it before I madethe promise. But we need all the help we can get. I still don’t have a lot ofexperience with the bells or Charter magic, and this Dead creature is powerful.I think we need Ahsoka - and I’llhave to hope I can settle it with the Queen when we return to Belisaere.”
Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment. Anakin had only a very loosegrasp of politics, but a huge amount of compassion. It was an admirablequality, but Obi-Wan wasn’t sure it was going to endear him to Court, or evento the Queen.
Still, he had a point. If this girl Ahsoka had localknowledge, it would be extremely helpful. The scouts the Queen had sent withthem had not been to Lospoth for some time, and though they knew the land andwere skilled rangers, someone with recent knowledge would be much more helpful.
“She may as well stay, for now. The Queen is known for hercompassion, and she is interested in repopulating the lands ravaged by theDead. The Kingdom may not have the best of relationships with the tribes, butperhaps a diplomatic avenue can be pursued.” He shook his head. “It’s somethingyou’ll have to talk about with the Queen when we get back to the city. Fornow…keep the promise.”
Anakin smiled. Obi-Wan had the feeling that even in theshort time they’d known each other, he’d become attached to Ahsoka. He hoped itwould all end smoothly, but he didn’t voice any of his doubts aloud. “Youshould rest,” he said instead, “You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”
The next morning dawned bright and cold, with a low misthanging close to the ground, wreathing the tents in swirling white vapour.Obi-Wan was up with the dawn as usual, but he decided to let Anakin sleep alittle longer. He would need all his strength for the test ahead.
He knelt down next to the banked fire and began to stir theembers, building it up into crackling flames once more. He was just setting upthe water pot on the tripod over the fire when Ahsoka dropped down oppositehim.
Obi-Wan jumped, almost spilling water all over himself. Hehadn’t even heard her footsteps.
“Morning,” she said, grinning at him.
“And to you,” he responded, keeping his tone neutral.
“Anakin said you can see the future,” Ahsoka said with nopreamble. “Is that true?”
“Somewhat,” Obi-Wan said cautiously, “I can’t See anythinguseful on my own - or not very often, anyway. But with all my family together,we can See much.”
Ahsoka nodded. “He said you came from the Glacier, where thewitches live.”
“We’re not witches,” Obi-Wan said, mildly affronted.
“You use magic to see the future,” Ahsoka said, “Sounds likewitchcraft to me.”
“It’s Charter magic,” Obi-Wan said.
Ahsoka tilted her head. “What’s the difference?”
“Your witches and shamans use Free Magic; here in theKingdom, that type of magic is outlawed. The Clayr - my family - use a specialtype of Charter magic that only we can utilise.”
Now Ahsoka looked like she understood. “So you use Kingdom magic. That, I understand.” Shewrinkled her nose. “Or, I don’t understand, but I know our magic is differentto yours.” Her face took on an almost wistful look. “My mother used to say youcould use Kingdom magic without losing your soul. Is that true?”
“I…don’t know what you mean by soul,” Obi-Wan said, “Chartermagic lacks the corrosive, corrupting effects of Free Magic. You aren’tphysically harmed by using it.”
“Shamans would rule all of us, if they could,” Ahsoka said,scowling. “They only want power. More and more power, always. But mother saidin the Kingdom, shamans weren’t like that.”
“Magic-users are known as mages in the Kingdom,” Obi-Wansaid, “And they may crave power just as much as one of your shamans. But justto use Free Magic requires the will to subjugate a Free Magic creature, or thewillingness to perform spells that, with extended use, will cause corrosion andcorruption of the flesh. Free Magic is, by its very nature, inimical to humanlife. In the Kingdom it is seen as inherently evil, and it certainly seems todrive its practitioners to immoral acts and ill ends. Charter magic, on theother hand, is a force that works in tandem with human life; that draws itspower from it. It is not inherently harmful to the user - although it can be,if someone inexperienced attempts a spell that is too powerful for them.”
Ahsoka had followed this explanation with rapt attention. “Anakinsaid you were a master sha- I mean, mage,” she said.
“Anakin has been saying a lot about me,” Obi-Wan said,stirring the water in the pot above the fire. It had just about come to theboil while they’d been talking.
“You are family?” Ahsoka asked.
“Not really,” Obi-Wan said, “At least, not in the way youmean. No, I’m just a companion.”
“His lover?” Ahsoka said.
Obi-Wan felt himself blush, and looked down into the boilingwater. “No. Just a friend.”
“Hmm.” Ahsoka sounded sceptical, but she didn’t press theissue.
“Anakin told me thatyou came here looking for a new home for your tribe,” Obi-Wan said.
Ahsoka shrugged. “My tribe had many bad winters in a row.Then in the summer, large raids by other tribes. Now, a new witch rampagesacross the steppes, wanting to kill and enslave everyone. Our people are tiredof running, suffering, and dying; we heard the Kingdom is safer, and not manypeople live here now.” She made a face. “No, but dead things live here instead!It’s not what I was hoping for. But Anakin says he can kill the dead, and makethis land safe again.” Ahsoka nodded, “Then, we would live here.”
“It would be a big change,” Obi-Wan said, “No more shamansand witches, no more Free Magic. No more raiding. Do you think your peoplecould adapt?”
“We’re prepared,” Ahsoka said.  
Once again, Obi-Wan felt a tingle of doubt. They should behonest with this girl about the chance that the Queen would turn her tribeaway, even with Anakin’s intervention.
“Are you not making breakfast yet?” Ahsoka said, leaningover to peer into the pot. “I’m starving.”
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “It’s coming. Why don’t you go wakeAnakin up? He needs to start getting ready.”
Ahsoka grinned and rolled up onto her feet. “I want to berepaid with the biggest portion of breakfast,” she said, before darting off inthe direction of Anakin’s tent.
After going throughthe trial of waking Anakin, you’ll need it, Obi-Wan thought, grinning tohimself as he began adding porridge to the boiling water.
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femslashrevolution · 8 years ago
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I Am Femslash by SETI-fan
This post is part of Femslash Revolution’s I Am Femslash series, sharing voices of F/F creators from all walks of life. The views represented within are those of the author only.
I was very surprised and touched to find out I’d been suggested as a femslash writer by readers to contribute something for this celebration, especially since I came out so late in the game, relatively. So, I decided that might be a topic worth discussing in itself: the role of femslash in my long journey to discovering who I was.
I read and see so many stories about lgbt+ individuals coming out in their teens or early twenties and knowing early on they were “different”. My situation wasn’t nearly so straightforward. I didn’t figure out how I identified until I was nearly thirty, and even then it still took some self-analysis to piece out what I wanted. This process was made a lot more complex than it should have been thanks to one particular speed bump:
My physical sex drive didn’t kick in until I was about twenty-eight. Nothing is medically wrong with me as far as I can tell, I just always was a late-bloomer, physically, socially, and apparently in this respect too. Don’t get me wrong, I had crushes in high school, but they were of a very PG-13 variety. I thought kissing could be fun and longed to hold hands and have sweet dates like I saw in the movies and TV shows, but when it came to the idea of sex? Ugh. I actually remember crying as a pre-teen when my mom gave me The Talk and explained that’s what happened. I had never had anything bad happen, it’s just like some part of me already noped out of that from day one.
(In retrospect, I’m very grateful I didn’t end up with any of the guys I crushed on in high school. Younger me…didn’t have the best taste and liked the idea of rehabilitating a “bad” guy with a good heart. Yes. I was that cliché. Thank you, life, for saving me from myself.)
Anyway, so in high school I wasn’t ready and in undergrad I was so preoccupied with school, work, and family drama at home that relationships weren’t a priority I thought much about. By grad school, I finally started feeling ready to give dating a bit more priority, but the old road block was still there.
Sex still didn’t sound remotely appealing. In fact, in many ways, it sounded repulsive.
I started thinking that I just hadn’t found the right person. I figured if the emotional side was there, then the physical side probably follow. If I really loved the guy, maybe that made the rest happen more naturally, or at the very least maybe I could at the very least tolerate sex if I didn’t end up enjoying it particularly. After all, I definitely found some guys handsome and had great emotional connections and blushing feelings with some. Maybe that could develop into more. The few unsatisfying dates and unrequited crushes I had didn’t get me any closer to wanting to explore that option, though.
Now, as this internal debate had been going on, my mom came out as a lesbian and I started acknowledging that option as being out there. I knew I had aesthetic appreciation for both men and women, I knew I tended to pay more attention to female characters in fandom than male ones and didn’t tend to go crazy over the actors everybody else did, but without the physical desire to reinforce things, I couldn’t tell where the line was drawn between just interest and attraction. But I quietly opened my mind to the possibility maybe I was a little bit bi, or at least okay with the idea that whoever I fell in love with could be in any gender’s body. I started getting flirted with by girls at conventions, and was flattered and intrigued, but nowhere near ready to take that step and actually make a non-straight move.
So how does all of this tie in with femslash? Because it was ultimately fandom that led me to a better understanding of what I wanted.
While I had kind of jokingly enjoyed a few slash ships in the past, the first one I actually seriously shipped was Princess Bubblegum and Marceline on Adventure Time. It started the same way I had with past non-canon slash pairings, “man you can find interpretations of scenes to make any pairing work with a bit of creativity”, but then the show actually was going there and it worked for these characters and I was in. The fandom was gifted with talented writers and artists who took the little hints and allusions the show slipped past network regulations and built gorgeous backstories and complex relationships for these two.
Unlike many people in fandom, I avoided smutfic in general. (See again my feelings of revulsion about sex.) But when writers I knew and enjoyed included scenes like that in their Bubbline fics, I stopped skimming past them and decided to go with it because their storytelling overall was so good. And then I started reading purely smut stories by writers I liked. And a little voice in my mind started saying, “So that’s what everyone’s been talking about all this time.” Suddenly, instead of thinking “don’t want to do that, ugh, maybe could tolerate that”, I was thinking “I’d try that, that sounds cool, ooh I want to try that…”
I’d never wanted to try anything before.
Around twenty-eight years old, the physical side of attraction finally kicked in, likely helped along by the coaxing in these stories, and to my great surprise, it only kicked in for girls (and a range of nonbinary situations that are more case-by-case since I dig androgyny too, but I’m going to oversimplify a bit here before this becomes an even bigger essay since the focus is femslash). I’ve tried reading straight erotica and felt the same lack of appeal. I can still find guys handsome and imagine kissing or cuddling with them and enjoying emotional relationships, but when it comes to going any farther than that, I recoil.
But suddenly it was like I was given permission to let in the feelings that, when I think back over my younger life, were honestly there all along, just muted and unrecognized. Heteronormativity, yes, but made harder by the lack of a sex drive too. The signs were there, I just didn’t have the libido to reinforce what I was thinking and give it that full meaning. Femslash let me tentatively explore that world before I was ready to take the first steps toward actually asking out or accepting an invitation from a woman in real life. Baby steps into allowing myself to feel those things.
And then the new Ghostbusters and Holtzmann hit me like a ton of bricks and I’ve pretty much just leapt off the cliff at this point, cheering all the way down. (Huge appreciation and apology to my best friend who’s had to put up with me turning into a teenager at thirty-one and tolerated my fangirling patiently. I’m leveling out some, I promise.)
Femslash opened that door in a way no other erotic fics or content ever had before. It’s stories about female sexuality written by women, for women. It was a perspective I hadn’t encountered before (especially since I wasn’t going to talk with my mom about her own personal experiences that way and the only other gay people I knew were men). It included women my own age talking about coming out later and discovering yourself and negotiating female-female relationships. And there are so many writers using it as a way to expose young and/or inexperienced readers to important concepts on healthy relationships, like navigating when mental illnesses affect one or both partners. Or how to communicate through emotional times and express your needs without shutting down and distancing from each other. Or even just the safe ways to explore kinks and how to provide aftercare and discuss boundaries and consent. God, the inclusion in some of these stories of how communication and consent don’t take a thing away from the passion and sensuality of the moment is incredible and should be part of every young person’s education on how to be a good sexual partner. I know not every fic is written to be realistic and healthy, nor should they be, but it’s so nice to see people using the medium to provide healthy role models as well, not just pornographic fantasy.
So yeah, I’m still at the beginning of my journey into embracing this new development and find someone to have a real-world relationship with, but the door is open now and I’m finally comfortable exploring those interests and I feel like I’m not going into this world completely blind and naïve. And I finally want to pursue a relationship like that instead of vaguely dreading it and hoping things work out okay. I don’t have to settle. I know I can find happiness and experience a physical relationship to its fullest. Femslash did that for me. I’m sure it’s done that for a lot of other young women. Hopefully most didn’t have to wait as long as I did to find that peace with who they were and what they wanted in life.
About the author:
I’m a biology teacher, writer, and artist who first experienced fandom as a 12-year-old obsessed with Star Wars and joined the internet fandom at 15, back at the turn of the millennium. I’ve been writing fics (under this same screenname) ever since and think I’m finally starting to get decent at it.
http://seti-fan.tumblr.com http://archiveofourown.org/users/SETI_fan/ https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2430050/SETI-fan
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