#Making friends

[missdollcouture]

APPROACHING PEOPLE

✶: approaching people, especially today, can be difficult due to insecurities, lack of social interaction, anxiety, or whatever other fears one could have when it comes to this topic.

CONVERSATION STARTERS

✶: not knowing what to say is typically a big reason we don't approach people. starting up conversation may seem difficult depending on the person you are trying to talk to. my biggest tips are to either find something you both find interest in, talk about everyday topic (school, hobbies, music, etc), or starting off with a compliment. here's some conversation starter examples!!

✶- "I love your shirt, where's it from?" (starting off with a compliment often helps you give off more of a friendly approach that may make it easier for them to talk to you. asking questions often leads to more conversation!!)

✶- (classmate) "the test was more challenging than I thought, how'd it go for you?" (finding common things to conversate over gives you both a flow for conversation. you could also change this around for a workspace or another setting)

MINDSET

✶-cultivating a new mindset could definitely play a huge part on how you interact or approach people. we often feel self conscious about things like out appearance, our mannerisms, etcetera, when it comes to talking to new people.

✶- believe it or not, 90% of the time, the people we talk to don't even know the tiny things you're beating yourself up over. so changing your mindset could make a huge difference when it comes to approaching others.

✶- for example: instead of having the mindset of "they're looking at my hair because it looks bad", instead, think "they're looking at my hair because my hair looks extra good today" (this may take a little bit of delusion 😉)

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[pratchettquotes]

That evening the men were practicing archery on the green. Bill Door had carefully ensured a local reputation as the worst bowman in the entire history of toxophily; it had never occurred to anyone that putting arrows through the hats of bystanders behind him must logically take a lot more skill than merely sending them through a quite large target a mere fifty yards away.

It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.

Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

[nenelonomh]

making friends is still worth it

as an extroverted individual, i have many friends. a diverse collection of people, offline and online, who support me - in many different ways. lately it's been difficult for me to put myself out there and talk to people, and hence, this post.

making new friends and meeting new people will always be 'worth it'.

worth the time. the troubles. the slight worries. this post is going to walk through the barriers i've been struggling with in meeting new people, and if you relate, should be able to help. firstly - that friendship can be seen as transactional, and secondly - that some (most) friendships are short lived.

transactional friendships

friendship can sometimes be seen as transactional, especially if individuals focus on the benefits they receive from the relationship. however, true friendship goes beyond mere transactions. it's built on mutual respect, trust, and a genuine desire to support one another.

in transactional relationships, interactions are often driven by a specific exchange of goods, services, or favors. while this can be a part of friendships, it's not the defining characteristic. authentic friendships involve emotional connections, shared experiences, and a commitment to each other's well-being without expecting something in return.

consider the difference between helping a friend move because you know they'll help you in the future (transactional) and helping them because you care about their happiness and want to support them (genuine friendship). both actions might look similar, but the underlying motivations are different.

and this is not to say that transactional friendships are bad - they simply are a different type of friendship. if you're engaging in a transactional friendship (for whatever reason), both parties typically know what to expect from each other, which can lead to more straightforward interactions.

these relationships can be practical and mutually beneficial, especially in professional or networking contexts. however, support in transactional friendships might be dependent on reciprocation, which can lead to feelings of obligation rather than genuine care.

my focus in this post is cultivating deeper, more meaningful relationships.

short-lived friendships

making friends and building a support system is essential - even if these friendships do not last forever. here's why:

every friendship brings a unique set of shared experiences that enrich our lives. these can be anything from late-night conversations, shared hobbies, travel adventures, or even just watching a movie together. these moments create lasting memories that contribute to our personal narrative. even short-term friendships leave an indelible mark, helping to shape our identity.

imagine you've moved to a new city and meet a friend at a local coffee shop. you bond over your love for art and decide to visit art galleries together. these shared experiences create lasting memories and enrich your understanding of the city's art scene. even if you eventually move away, the experiences and insights gained during that time remain with you.

during challenging times, having someone to confide in can make a significant difference. friends provide a sounding board for our thoughts and feelings, offering empathy and support that can help us navigate difficulties. the comfort and reassurance that comes from knowing someone is there for you, even temporarily, can enhance your emotional resilience and well-being.

friendships expose us to different perspectives and ideas. each friend brings their own experiences, knowledge, and worldview, which can broaden our understanding and spark new interests. these interactions foster intellectual growth and encourage us to think critically and empathetically about the world around us.

being part of a social network, even if it's not long-lasting, gives us a sense of community and belonging. this connection is vital for our mental and emotional health, as it reduces feelings of isolation and provides a sense of purpose. engaging with different groups and individuals helps us feel connected to the broader social fabric.

why don't people go out of their way to make friends? is it just me?

this is an incredible fear i get whenever i am met with no response whilst trying to build community and reach out to new people. there are several reasons why many people may not go out of their way to make new friends, including:

modern life can be incredibly busy, with work, family, and personal commitments taking up a lot of time. people often prioritize these responsibilities over socializing.

some individuals experience anxiety or discomfort in social situations, which can make it difficult for them to initiate and maintain friendships.

negative experiences in past friendships, such as betrayal or conflict, can make people wary of forming new relationships.

people tend to stick to familiar routines and environments where they feel safe and comfortable, making it less likely for them to seek out new social connections.

the rise of digital entertainment, social media, and online interactions can lead to a preference for virtual connections over face-to-face interactions.

the nature of a digital society certainly plays a role in changing how we form and maintain friendships. while technology offers convenient ways to stay connected, it can also create barriers to deeper, more meaningful interactions. online communication sometimes lacks the emotional richness and nuances of in-person conversations, which can affect the quality of friendships.

however, there are ways to build and maintain community online, including:

joining interest-based groups on platforms like tumblr, reddit, or discord can help you connect with like-minded individuals and foster a sense of community. instagram and youtube also have creator communities now!

participating in virtual events, webinars, and online meetups related to your hobbies or professional interests can help you connect with others.

using platforms like zoom, skype, or whatsapp for regular video calls and chats can help maintain and strengthen friendships, even at a distance.

working on collaborative projects or joining online clubs, such as book clubs or gaming communities, can provide opportunities to bond with others over shared activities.

while online interactions can complement face-to-face friendships, it's important to balance both to create a well-rounded social life. making an effort to connect with people, whether online or in-person, will lead to meaningful relationships and a strong support system. once again, it is very much worth it.

i hope this was helpful! ❤️nene

further resources:

tips to make friends with people you find cool

be social (a list)

instagram | pinterest | blog site

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

What Making Friends Should Feel Like:

I CAN Network Ltd

[spiritualseeker777]

[shoujo-dump]

Haru no Arashi to Monster

[glowettee]

HIIII. i literally love your blog to death. it's so cute. and it's so informative.

Do you have any tips for making friends? i struggle soooo much with making friends! thank you mindy!

hi angel! 🌸 thank you for your sweet message about my blog! making friends can be super challenging, especially when you're focused on big dreams like med school and business like me. (trust me, i totally get it). let me share my detailed guide on making meaningful connections !

a guide to making friends (for ambitious sweethearts) ♡

understanding the basics of friendship: friendship is like a dance between two souls. it requires patience, understanding, and genuine interest in others. as someone who loves psychology, i've noticed that the strongest friendships are built on:

mutual understanding

shared values

consistent communication

emotional safety

reciprocal support

where to find friends (places i've had success):

academic settings

honors/ap classes (found my study buddy in ap bio!)

study groups (perfect for combining socializing and academics)

library study sessions

academic clubs (pre-med society changed my life)

business club meetings

extracurricular activities

volunteer work at local hospitals, clinics, animal shelters

business competitions

leadership workshops

student government

entrepreneurship clubs

psychology-backed friendship tips: (combining my psych knowledge with real experience)

first impressions

maintain soft eye contact

practice open body language

speak clearly but softly

show genuine interest

remember names (psychology trick: repeat it 3 times mentally)

conversation skills

ask open-ended questions

practice active listening

share relevant personal experiences

validate others' feelings

use "yes, and" technique to build on topics

maintaining friendships

schedule regular study dates (if you're a student)

create shared goals

celebrate each other's achievements

offer emotional support

respect boundaries

balancing friendships with ambition: as someone pursuing both medicine and business, i understand time management is crucial. here's how i maintain friendships while staying focused:

study together

share academic resources

create accountability partnerships

schedule friendship time like meetings

combine social time with productive activities

common friendship challenges and solutions:

feeling too busy solution: integrate friends into your routine (study sessions, lunch breaks)

social anxiety solution: start with one-on-one interactions in comfortable settings

fear of rejection solution: remember that everyone feels this way sometimes

maintaining boundaries solution: be clear about your time constraints and priorities

different interests solution: find common ground in shared goals and ambitions

red flags to watch for: (important)

friends who don't respect your academic goals, career goals, life goals etc..

people who make you feel bad about your ambitions

toxic competition

inconsistent support

emotional drainage

green flags to look for: (important)

mutual encouragement

respect for boundaries

genuine interest in your success

emotional availability

consistent communication

note:

quality over quantity always

true friends support your dreams

it's okay to be selective

friendship takes time to develop

your academic goals matter too

personal note: i've found my closest friends through shared interests in medicine and business. we study together, support each other's goals, and understand when we need to focus on academics. these friendships are extra special because they align with our future paths.

i'm naturally an introvert and i tend to isolate myself a lot, but the friends i have are super understanding and support me, and i couldn't ask for better friends <3

sending you the sweetest vibes and hoping you find your perfect friend group! remember, the right friends will celebrate your ambitions, not dim your shine. ✨

love always, mindy

p.s. feel free to message me anytime for more specific advice! we're all in this together. 🤍

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Types of Relationships To Help You Thrive In Life

Table of Contents:

Healthy Relationship With Yourself

Peer-To-Peer Relationship

Mentorship Relationship

Goal-Oriented/Accountability-Focused Relationship

Emotionally-Intimate Relationship

Physical/Sexually-Intimate Relationship

Acquaintance Relationships

Second-Degree Relationships

Types of Relationships:

Healthy Relationship With Yourself: Internalize and act with the knowledge that you're worthy of love, care, and nourishment, and have unconditional permission to work towards your goals & dream life. Eat healthfully, drink plenty of water, remain well-rested, move your body daily, maintain proper hygiene/a clean home, invest in your appearance to feel your best, live as a life-long learner, establish healthy habits/routines, get your finances in order, establish and maintain boundaries, make positive self-talk a priority.

Peer-To-Peer Relationship: Aka friendships, which are intended to offer mutual support and joy in life. These friendships thrive on having similar values and interests, which makes these individuals your greatest cheerleaders, advice givers/receivers, and partners in crime to have fun or offer platonic love/emotional support during traditional or difficult seasons in your life. Peer-to-peer relationships should add mutual excitement, encouragement, and emotional nourishment, and provide a soundboard for confidential information exchange, ears to listen without unnecessary or superficial judgment, and solicited advice from someone who has your best interest in mind.

Mentorship Relationship: This could be a boss, teacher, professor, aunt, uncle, or another trusted adult(s) who can guide you based on their more extensive life experience/wisdom. You can have one or several mentors at any life stage and for different purposes. These people should be trustworthy (keep your information confidential unless you state otherwise) and express their advice through the lens of your best interest rather than their own personal desires or biases (at least those left unchecked). Ensure you feel safe around these people, and their presence in your life is a mutually-nourishing relationship that allows you to grow personally, professionally, and relationally.

Goal-Oriented/Accountability-Focused Relationship: A coach, mentorship, or friendship based on the achievement of a particular goal or practice. This type of relationship can manifest as an accountability partner or support group. A therapist can also fulfill this role in your life (but like, a coach, this relationship is a one-way street to offer you emotional support/tools & resources). Some reasons for an accountability-oriented relationship include helping you achieve a certain health/fitness goal, establish better routines, advance in your career, let go of unhealthy habits, patterns, or addictions, better manage your finances, or help you get your other relationships (family, partner, friends, self-talk, boss, co-workers, etc.) in order.

Emotionally-Intimate Relationship: Someone with whom you feel an unwavering emotional closeness and connection. This person can be a partner you're involved with sexually/physically intimate with or not. Asexuality exists, of course. And emotional intimacy can definitely exist in close platonic relationships (like your best friendships) without any romantic or sexual feelings. These relationships are important because they allow you to let your emotional walls down and be your vulnerable, authentic self.

Physical/Sexually-Intimate Relationship: This relationship could be with a romantic partner, FWB, with multiple partners, purely with yourself, or somewhere in between. If you have sexual needs, it's important to find pleasurable ways to satisfy these desires in a way that makes you feel most fulfilled and respected. Let go of any shame you experience when exploring this side of yourself. Experiment and learn what you like/dislike/fantasize about. Use this information to elevate your practice and communication with any partner(s) for a heightened, more enjoyable, and potentially closer emotionally-bonding experience.

Hobby/Interest-Centric Relationship: These relationships can extend from co-workers to your friends in a certain class/the one friend you go on weekly walks with, follow a particular TV show with, exchange beauty tips with, "going out" friends, etc. While these connections aren't vulnerable to the degree of a close friendship/relationship, it is important to have some relationships that are purely based on fun, light-hearted conversations, and mutual hobbies/interests/lifestyles. Having someone to share these mutual experiences with helps you feel more connected to your environment/communities, not feel isolated/lonely when your friends, family, or intimate partner has different hobbies, career aspirations, or daily routines/lifestyle compared to you, and provides a mutual soundboard on issues, insights, and exciting moments in this particular area of your life.

Acquaintance Relationships: Everyone needs those friends, co-workers, or classmates they can just chat with when at a party, a group meeting, dinner, a special occasion, to grab a quick lunch or coffee, etc. These people are fun to be around and allow you to indulge in light, easy conversations to offer temporary social support/fulfillment. These relationships also expand your network for professional opportunities, making new friends, finding dates/a potential partner, interest groups/new hobbies, referral services/classes/spaces, and other contacts that can enrich your life.

Second-Degree Relationships: These are friend-of-a-friend type connections who can be/become your future business partners, romantic/sexual partners, co-workers, investors, hairdressers, realtors, stylists, finance managers, etc. Be ready to reciprocate these offers and be this person in others' lives, too. As your network gets broader and more dynamic, better chances and potential there is to connect with the right people to help you achieve your goals, desires, and overall life satisfaction. Success and efficiency rarely – if ever – exist in isolation.

[mangoofthesea]

I saw a post today talking about how difficult making friends can be, as well as maintaining friendships, and as someone who has spent the last few years learning how to maintain friendships while moving a couple times and some big life events. One of the best things you can do for a friendship is organise to do THINGS.

Not just meet and talk or chat over message. Arrange to go swimming, or for a row boat ride, cook dinner together, try making clay creatures and laugh at how bad they are. Go to see a play or a singer or a waterfall.

Sit on a call together in silence while you crochet or watch something at the same time in different locations.

Or while you both draw or do dishes and say the random questions that come to mind 'do you think aliens could exist?' 'How can you tell when you're in love?' 'There’s a really cool bird out the window I think you'd like it, it's all blue and green!'

The key is to not try to keep the friendship for the sake of it, but enjoy the Person and their company

Maintaining of a friendship over time requires effort, but also acceptance that you won't speak or see each other all the time. My 3 best friends are all from different phases of life and I have had periods of months or years where I didn’t speak to them just because we had shifted how much we saw each other.

You see them when you see them, you speak when you speak, but you'll find people who with even a tiny amount of effort (a birthday gift, a card, a meme sent, a message or a gif) you can hold onto. People who mean the world to you even though you only see them a could times a year.

I once heard the phrase that friends are like stars, even when you don't see them, they're still there.

Friendships that truly mean something aren't like sitcoms or movies. Life is more complicated and people are too, don't feel bad if your friendships don't match up to what you expect, or if you can't be there all the time.

All things considered, I'm a pretty shit friend sometimes, I forget birthdays and I'm useless to get hold of sometimes. But on either side of friendships that I have, we both make enough of an effort that they're still there.

I'm going to the cinema tomorrow with a friend I've had since I was 11 (or 13 depending how we've decided to measure it that day) and I haven't seen in person in nearly a year. We're still going to have a great time.

Your friendship takes whatever form works for you, don't lose sight of the people you love cos the way you love them doens’t look like 'it's supposed to'

[bookmothic-dyke]

I am collecting so many sapphic trans friends on discord. Heck yeah.

Also. If you’re my mutual. Just DM me and I’ll give you my discord.

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[nenelonomh]

tips to make friends with people you find cool:

⋆ take initiative. don't wait for someone else to make the first move. initiate conversations, share a little about yourself, and listen to what they say. even small interactions can break the ice.

⋆ show friendliness and be approachable. smile, maintain eye contact, and use positive body language. people are drawn to those who radiate warmth and openness.

⋆ be a good listener. when someone talks, actively listen. show genuine interest in their stories and experiences. being a good listener helps build trust and connection.

⋆ have a sense of humour. light-hearted humour can break down barriers and create a comfortable atmosphere. show that you enjoy having fun and appreciate laughter.

⋆ when you cross paths, give them a friendly 'hello' or a smile. keep it light and natural.

(and more specifically) tips to start a conversation:

⋆ compliment something specific about them. it could be their style, a project they're working on, or even their smile.

⋆ as open-ended questions instead of yes/no questions. try to talk about their interests, hobbies, or opinions.

⋆ if you're in the same class or have mutual friends, use that as a conversation starter. "did you understand today's lecture?" or "did you know when [mutual friend]'s birthday was? i just can't remember."

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autism & Friendship

I CAN Network Ltd