#friends should make you feel safe and to be yourself

[tyrantchimera]

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[midnightswels]

★ LET ME BE YOUR VOID

All your life, you've been the "good girl," playing it safe. Vi is the opposite—rebellious and unpredictable. After a chance meeting at a club you were invited to by friends who felt you hadn't forgotten your cheating ex yet, your worlds collide in a way neither of you expected, leading to a "lesbian incident thing" as your friends called it. Well, you've heard that good girls gone bad... [recent work]

tw: cheating (not from the vi's side, reader was cheated on by her ex gf); english isn't my first language

This is the second part of a series of fanfics based on songs from Sky Ferreira's album "Night Time, My Time". Each can be read as a one-shot unless otherwise noted.

You weren’t supposed to be here—not in this club, not surrounded by deafening music and flashing lights, and definitely not nursing a drink your friend insisted on handing you. But here you were, trying your best to act like you weren’t completely out of place.

Your friends had been relentless. They claimed this was what you needed after your ex-girlfriend had shattered your carefully constructed world a few months ago. "You’re too young to waste time on someone who didn’t deserve you," they’d said. And maybe they were right, but a part of you still felt like it wasn’t your scene, wasn’t your speed.

So, it was supposed to be just another night out with your best friend, the kind where you’d forget about work, unwind with a drink, and laugh about things that didn’t matter. You had no intention of getting involved in anything more. The club was packed, the lights dimmed, the bass pulsing through the floor, making everything feel more alive than it should have. You knew the people who invited you, but you didn’t really want to be there. You were more comfortable in your quiet, organized world. Yet, there you were—pushed out of your comfort zone by the gentle yet insistent coaxing of your friends.

That’s when you saw her.

Vi stood by the bar like she owned the place, casually leaning back with a drink in her hand and that signature smirk that screamed confidence. Her short, messy pink hair caught the strobe lights, making her look like something out of a dream—or maybe a warning.

She wasn’t the kind of person who blended in. Vi had an undeniable presence, the sort that made people instinctively look twice, even if they didn’t want to admit it. The kind of woman who always lived in the moment, unafraid of what came next, someone you might be drawn to and terrified of at the same time. She was standing across the room with some friends when your eyes accidentally met, and it was like everything around you faded for a split second. There was something about her that made your breath hitch, but you quickly turned away, reminding yourself that this was just another club night, nothing more.

You caught her gaze for just a moment, and it sent a shiver down your spine. Her smirk deepened as she tipped her glass toward you in silent acknowledgment. You quickly looked away, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

Your friend noticed. “That girl’s been looking at you,” one of them teased.

“She’s not,” you mumbled, sipping your drink and trying to appear calm.

“She definitely is. And she’s hot.”

“She’s trouble,” you said without thinking, earning an amused laugh from your friend.

Trouble wasn’t something you ever sought out. You’d always been the "good girl," the one who followed the rules, stayed out of trouble, and avoided unnecessary risks. Your life was organized, predictable—safe. But something about Vi made your carefully crafted walls feel unsteady.

Hours later, you were leaning against a wall, waiting for your friend to drag you home (you weren't sure when it would happen - it seems she was talking to some guy) when Vi appeared at your side like she’d always belonged there. “Not your scene?” she asked, her voice low and slightly rough, but somehow warm. “And not from around here too, are you?” she added, her voice low and smooth, like honey, a little teasing but also somehow warm.

You turned to her, startled. Up close, she was even more captivating than you’d realized. There was something wild in her eyes, but also something deeply curious. “How could you tell?”

“You’ve looked ready to bolt since you got here.” Vi grinned, taking a sip from her drink. “And also, if you were a regular,” she continued, her eyes locking with yours in a way that made your heart race, “I'd probably have to steal you away from everyone else.”

“Maybe I’m just waiting for someone,” you replied, attempting to sound composed.

“Oh yeah? Someone like me?” she teased, her grin turning into a smirk that made your stomach flip.

You rolled your eyes, though your pulse quickened. “I don’t think so.”

“Good,” she said, leaning closer. “I’m not the waiting type.”

It started innocently enough, just talking, chatting about life, music, mutual friends. But before long, you were both standing by the dance floor, the music drowning out your words. She was closer than you'd expected, too close for comfort, her breath warm against your ear as she leaned in to shout something over the music. You could feel the tension between you two growing, a sharp, undeniable attraction that neither of you seemed willing to ignore. But you stopped yourself from rash actions — it's too early.

Vi was different from anyone you’d ever met before. You were usually the responsible one, the one who kept things in line, avoided risky behavior, stayed on the safe side of the line. And yet, here you were, your pulse quickening every time she looked at you, making you feel a pull that was unlike anything you'd ever known. She was everything you weren’t—bold, reckless, unafraid to challenge the world. You couldn’t understand why she was interested in you, someone so different from her usual type. But as the nights turned into days, you started seeing each other more often (like good acquaintances, almost friends) and the encounters grew more frequent, you started to feel like maybe she saw something in you that you hadn’t seen in yourself.

“You’re too serious,” she’d say, nudging your shoulder. “Life’s too short to be afraid of it.”

And maybe she was right.

But it wasn’t all easy.

You couldn’t ignore the voice in the back of your mind, the one that whispered doubts and insecurities. Vi wasn’t like anyone you’d ever been close to, and you weren’t sure if you were what she needed—or if this was all just a phase for her.

One night, after a particularly long day, you found yourself sitting across from her in a quiet corner of a bar. She was laughing, telling you some wild story about a bar fight she’d once been in, when you blurted out the question that had been haunting you.

“Why me?”

Vi blinked, her laughter fading as she studied you. “What do you mean?”

“You could have anyone. Someone cooler, more... I don’t know, exciting.”

She leaned forward, her expression softening. “You think I care about that stuff? You’re... different.”

“That’s not an answer,” you said quietly, looking down at your drink. “I shouldn't ask it. Sorry, it was pathetic.”

“You're not.” Vi reached across the table, gently tilting your chin up so you’d meet her gaze. “You make me want to be better,” she said simply. “That’s not something I take lightly.”

From that moment on, things felt different. ���Let's dance,“ she said and you surprisingly agreed.

You were caught up in the rhythm of the music, your movements fluid, free, and then, just like that, Vi was beside you, her presence magnetic, pulling you even closer. Her lips were teasing the edges of your earlobe as she leaned in, shouting something into your ear you couldn’t hear. The space between you two had grown smaller, closer, until it felt like there was no space at all.

It wasn’t planned—it just happened. The kiss was messy, hot, and full of need, nothing like you’d ever experienced before. You had been sober—maybe a little tipsy from the drinks, but nothing that would explain this sudden decision. It was wild and unexpected, and you couldn’t even tell if it was a mistake or something else. All you knew was that in that moment, it felt real.

It was awkward. But it felt like everything—chaos, excitement, vulnerability, all rolled into one. And then, just as quickly, you pulled away.

Vi pulled away first, her lips grazing yours just slightly as she smirked. “Didn’t expect that from you.”

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, the sudden rush of shame washing over you like a cold wave. What had you done?

You were still processing what had just happened. You weren’t the type to do something so spontaneous, let alone kiss someone so... bold. You took a step back, your heart racing. You were aware of the looks people were giving, but the only thing that mattered was her—her eyes, her lips, the way she made you feel like you could fall into something deeper than you’d ever imagined.

“I—I don’t usually do this,” you stammered, barely able to catch your breath.

Vi raised an eyebrow, the corner of her lips quirking up. “You’re not a regular girl. I can tell.” Her voice was laced with something teasing, but there was something else in it, something softer you hadn’t noticed before.

”I need to go,“ you awkwardly said. ”Remembered something.”

The rest of the night was a blur. You left the club without a second glance, slipping into the night, your heart pounding as you tried to convince yourself it wasn’t a big deal. You didn’t need to explain it to anyone, certainly not Vi. But then why did it feel like you were running from something much bigger?

The next few days were spent in silence. You ignored Vi’s texts, her calls, anything that might bring you back into her orbit. You couldn’t bring yourself to face Vi, couldn’t stand the thought of what you’d done. She was wild, spontaneous, everything you were not, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you were just a fleeting interest to her. Your friends had all seen what had happened, and now they rolled their eyes, joking about it like it was just another “typical lesbian incident,” a moment of confusion, a kiss, followed by an awkward disappearance. They didn’t understand.

But Vi did.

One evening, she showed up at your door. You opened it hesitantly, already knowing what was coming. Vi stood there, looking just as unbothered as she always did, her arms crossed.

“You running away now, too?” she asked with a small, knowing smile.

You stepped aside, letting her in, but your nerves were a mess. The weight of the kiss was still there, lingering like a silent elephant in the room.

“I don’t get it,” you said before you could stop yourself, your voice tight. “I—I don’t know what I was doing, Vi. I just... I’m not like you. I’m not supposed to be someone who does... that.”

Vi raised an eyebrow, her usual smirk softening. “Do what? Live a little? Look, you don’t have to apologize for kissing me. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“But I don’t even know what this is,” you confessed, your eyes tracing the floor. “I’ve never been... like this. I’ve always been cautious. I’ve always... followed the rules. And now I’ve gone and done something reckless.” You looked down, feeling small. “It’s just... you’re so used to being spontaneous, to going for what you want, and I... I’m not that. I’m careful. I don’t do things on impulse.”

Vi walked over to you, her gaze serious now. “What’s wrong with that?” she asked gently. “It’s not about being like me. It’s about figuring out what you want, and trusting that you deserve it. I don’t want you to be someone else. I want you to be you.”

You let out a long, shaky breath. You were still reeling, unsure of what you wanted or where this connection between the two of you could go. “I just... I had an ex, and she messed me up. I wasn’t ready for anything new, and I still don’t know if I am.”

Vi’s expression softened further. “You don’t have to be ready right now. I’m not asking for anything. I’m not asking you to be someone you’re not, and I’m not going anywhere. But don’t run away from me. Don’t run away from this.” She smiled softly.

You looked into her eyes, seeing something real, something vulnerable in them. Maybe it was the calm in her voice, or maybe it was just the way she always knew how to make you feel seen, even when you couldn’t see yourself. But for the first time in a long time, you felt like you weren’t alone in the confusion.

“I don’t want to run away from you,” you admitted quietly. “I just... I don’t know what to do with this. With us.”

Vi took a step closer, her hand brushing lightly against yours, sending a spark up your arm. “Then let’s figure it out together.”

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, things didn’t need to be perfect or understood right away. Maybe it was enough to just be in the moment with someone who made you feel like you mattered.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she added with a grin. “But I’m willing to figure it out with you.”

The awkwardness was still there, but something had shifted. Something had clicked, and it felt like you weren’t running anymore. You were stepping forward into something you couldn’t yet define, but it was real, and it was yours.

And for once, that felt enough.

“Would you want to go on a date with me?” Vi asked, her voice steady.

A warm smile tugged at your lips, and you nodded. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

[kurokawaia]

DAY TWENTY THREE - BABY TRAPPING 彡 Aizen Sosuke

WARNINGS :: x fem reader, afab, yandere, coercion, manipulation, baby trapping, no protection, missionary, fingering, cervix kissing, NC cumming inside, + more

| WC :: 2.8k+ | MDNI | 18+ | kinkmas m.list

You knew about Aizen, what he wanted to achieve-you were the only person he had told apart from three others. You were going to go ahead and help him make this dream a reality. To be in the company of Aizen was to be with a God-the level of control he had, it scared you, couldn't tell if you felt safe too. He's always there to protect you, keeps you hidden away so you can't get hurt. Still, something has always been a bit off about him; you noticed it, how his eyes would follow your every move, every breath. It started innocently enough with Aizen as a perfect gentleman, never forcing and yet giving you just enough space to feel independent. Subtle changes began to happen over time. "Are you going out again?" Aizen's voice came out soft, he is masking his disapproval, he's waiting for the right moment to force you to stay with him. You lifted your gaze from the mirror in front of you and finished styling out your hair. "Just for a little while. Soon I will be back." His eyes stayed on you a moment, his smile false as he stared at you. "I worry about you," he said, moving in behind you and setting his hands on your shoulders before trailing off down to your hands. "The world is a dangerous place, and I'm not always going to be here to protect you. You're only a healer, you can't do much, my love." Comforting, even, his words were sweet. You think. A lump, tense feeling began to grow in your stomach but you laughed it off, brushing his hands with a soft touch. "I'll be fine, Sosuke! I can take care of myself." But the seed had been sown. Over weeks, he came further into your life, and what you used to decide for yourself would, it seemed henceforth, have first to pass through him. And he keeps reminding you so often with a soft chuckle that he wants nothing but the best for you. "You know, you need to take more rest," Aizen said to you one night while doing reports. He leaned over you with his hand tucked in the back of your nemaki, drawing circles, almost to sooth you. "All this stress isn't good for your health." You faltered, words caught in your throat. "I need to finish this." "You don't," he returned smoothly. His fingers closed over your shoulder, tightening just a fraction. "What you need is to unwind. I don't like seeing you overexerting yourself." Before he could object further, he leaned forward and rolled the scroll shut before taking it in his hands. "I'll take care of everything," he whispered. "Just trust me." At first, it was very easy to confuse his overprotectiveness with care. He was attentive, loving in his own peculiar way. Before long, the control started to become more evident with each passing day. 

He never raised his voice nor did he yell. He didn't have to. His words had been enough to lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. And they were so gradual besides, too slight, almost imperceptible. He started taking you away from your friends, from your captain, your lieutenant, subtly making you feel they were not people you should trust. "They don't understand you the way I do," he'd say stroking your hair as you lay in his arms. "They'll only hold you back." And when you fell, he'd lift your chin so it faced his eyes, the skin of your forehead grazing his lips in a feather-soft touch. "I only want what's best for you." You had begun to lean on him, questioning your choices, and if indeed you really knew what was best for you. Then you went to Aizen to see if it was okay-the things you were doing. Aizen had this way of speaking, as though he was the only one who knew you. Lying beside him in bed, as night fell, you said what was pent up inside your mind, "Aizen, am I the only one who thinks this all went a bit too fast? I feel like... I'm losing myself." His response was immediate. "You aren't losing yourself, my love, you're finding who you're really supposed to be. With me, you don't have to worry about a thing. Always, I will take care of you," he says with a softness, but his words are like honey. Still, with those words somehow, it sent shivers down your spine. That was when the future conversations started, light at first, talks about what life could be if you stayed together. A house, peaceful life, children. "You'd make a great mother," he said one afternoon as his eyes latched onto yours. "Can't you imagine building a life with me?" Your heart had skipped a beat, but there was a growing discomfort. "Perhaps someday, but I don't know if I'm ready for that as yet." Aizen didn't press the issue then, but the subject kept coming up. He'd casually touch your belly, remark on how ideal it would be to have a family, how complete your bond would be if you were tied together in every possible way. "It's natural to be wary," Aizen told you one evening while you sat before the fireplace. His hand lay limply on your thigh, his thumb tracing soft patterns. "But do think about it. A child would only strengthen our love. We'd be forever bound." You laughed a little nervously and brushed the suggestion aside. "That's a big step, Aizen. I'm just not sure I'm ready." He smiled gently, his eyes concealing something, something that you don't notice. "You will see, in time, it is the best thing that can happen to us." You didn't know that in his mind, a decision was already made.

Aizen and you have had sex multiple times, so it isn't a rare occurrence for the two of you to have sex at least once a day, at the least, it would be once every two days. But, Aizen makes sure to leave you every night, making sure that you are so fucked out due to pleasure that you forget to notice particular things. 

Specifically, something that is about to happen tonight. 

Your arms are pinned above your head, as Aizen's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more.

 A moan left your mouth as your back arched to his touch. Your reaction made Aizen press down slightly more, and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.

You felt his fingers slide down, and he found your seeping hols drenched with arousal. A finger slowly slid inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Aizen asked, and you nodded frantically.

"F-Fuck... feels so good, Sosuke," you whimpered as he started to slowly pump in and out your soaked walls.

"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.

Overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and intensity, it leaves you unable to hold back your moans. You lean your lips against his shoulder, muffling those sounds that burst from deep inside you. His fingers delve deep inside your core, firing a flame that engulfs every thought. Every movement, every curl sends shockwaves of pleasure across your body.

You let go and surrender to his intoxicating rhythm of touches. The junction of his skilled fingers with the intensity of our connection cossets you closer to the edge and teetering on the precipice of release. It was just a pure moment of bliss, where time seemed to stand still, filled completely with an overwhelming pleasure that coursed through the veins.

With Aizen's fingers pumping in and out of your seeping hole relentlessly, there was a familiar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, and pleasure that had tightened inside your stomach. You wrap your shaking legs around him, trying to hold on to him as the pleasure overflows. Anticipation ripples your body, reacting to every single one of his touches and movements.

You chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you whole.

At your pleading, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice husky with desire. His thumb starts pressing your clit with its fleshy pad, another layer added onto the sensations that are already so intense. The touch is electrifying, your back arches in response.

"Please, Sosuke," you sob. "I need to..."

"Let your body take over for you, you want this and I've got you," Aizen reassured, intertwining your mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.

Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. You managed to release myself from Aizen's neck and move away from his hold.

"Feeling alright?" Aizen asks cupping my cheeks.

"...yeah..." you breath out slowly while looking into his eyes. Aizen makes you feel so good, all the time, always focusing n your own pleasure, it's like he's trying to win you over for something, to distract you from something-

"There is more coming," Aizen said slowly, his brown eyes piercing into your own and they widened.

"More?" you tease, "What possibly could you give me more of?"

"So much, my love," Aizen hums. "Just let yourself loose, don't focus on anything, just on the pleasure I will give."

He delicately bites the shell of your ear making you let out a quiet whimper. you could feel him smile against your ear at your reaction. Aizen's touch caused you to dig your nails slightly into his chest leaving light crescent marks causing more deep exhales of breaths to get caught in your ear.

Aizen moved his head and his body suddenly firmly pressed against yours and you whimpered at the feeling of his dick pressing up agasint your stomach. His lips mingled with yours his minty taste and smell overflowed your senses making it a complete euphoria for you. you cupped the back of his neck to create a deeper angle for him to go explore deeper into your mouth with our tongues continuing to entangle with each other.

Aizen groans into your mouth, the hand that was trailing down your thigh moved swiftly back to your waist and the other intertwined with your hair at the base of your neck, pulling you closer to him. you let out breathy sighs into him as your own hand interlaced with his chocolte and your other wrapped around behind his neck.

His other hand moved its way down to tightly lift your thigh up which made his body mould closer to mine making you feel his dick press up against your soaked core. The kiss slows down and turns soft and almost desperate it's as if he wants to take his time with you, savouring every inch of your taste, to take his sweet time to memorise you.

"Look at you," he teases. "Trembling under my touch."

Aizen pants against your lips and you didn't have time to reply as he pressed them against you once more. "Please," I whimper out.

"Hmm?"

"I want you...." you mumble. "Stop teasing me."

Aizen kissing your forehead like you were a child who listened to their parent. "Good girl."

He presses his lips against mine to take your mind off. you feel a hard tip get lubricated at your entrance making your back arch into him as you let out a strangled moan of pleasure into his mouth. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.

"Oh, you feel so good," Aizen whimpers into your neck. "You're so perfect."

You moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you, the pain gone.

You feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Your moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Aizen held on your thigh and waist to tighten.

The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Aizen continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.

"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-" you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Aizen's bare chest causing Aizen to groan and his arms moved to wrap tightly around you.

You arched your back heavily, able at last to sink further into his embrace. Aizen leaned over, drawing you near to him and initiating a messy, moist kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting out grunts as he absorbed your sounds of pleasure. 

Effectively distracting you as he cums half in your cunt and the rest all over your stomach. He mimics that he's pulled out when in reality, he's got you filled with his seed, ready for you to bare his child.

-------------------------------------------------

 Aizen watched you from his chair.. "You're shaking, dear. What's going through your mind?" His voice was smooth, treacherous in a way that completely made it impossible for you to feel anything but relaxed and on edge all at once.

"I-I just don't understand...," you stammered, your hand falling to rest on your stomach, that for the last couple of weeks had started to show the signs of the life growing inside you. "How could this have happened? We were careful..."

Aizen chuckled low in his throat. "Oh, my love. Did you truly think I would leave something so important to chance? This was always a part of the plan."

You froze, your mind racing. "Wha... what do you mean?"

He stood, moving towards you with the grace of a predator stalking his prey. His hand cupped your cheek as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I made it happen. I want you bound to me in every way possible. You're mine now-mind, body, and soul."

It swept over you, you realise everything now. Every sweet word, every tender touch, was all an act to trap you. And in one swell, tears began to well within your eyes, but a gentle smiling Aizen wiped them away.

"There is no reason to cry, dear, this is for the best. Now you shall never leave me. You shall carry my child, and we will be bound together, forever." His lips pressed against your forehead. Your breath hitched as his hand slipped into your stomach. How had you not seen this all along? All those nights he had held you close, whispering sweet promises to your ear-all part of his carefully designed trap. He straightened, watching your. "You're too precious to let slip away. You see that, don't you?" His fingers brushed your skin. "You planned this," I whispered, more for my benefit than his. "You wanted this all along..."

Aizen smiled. "Of course. You really didn't think I'd leave a thing like that to chance, did you? I have always had a vision for us-a future wherein you would be mine-completely." You took another step backward, feeling the beating of your heart within your chest, but there was nowhere to go. "What if I don't want it?" you whispered almost soundlessly. "You are emotional now. Understandably so. But time will let you see this as precisely what you need." His voice was coaxing, speaking as he would to a frightened child. You shook your head, fighting down the panic rising into your throat. "I don't want to be trapped like this, Aizen. You can't just take away my choices." Aizen's hand rose to your chin, the pad of his thumb tipping your face upwards, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Oh my love, I have not taken anything from you. I've simply... ensured that we shall never again be parted. Is it not what you wanted, deep down?" "I... I don't know," you said, voice shaking. "Shhh," Aizen cooed, pressing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are overwhelmed now. But in time, you shall see: our child will bind us together, and you shall understand that was the only way. You shall thank me for protecting our future. "Why?" one finally asked, barely above a whisper. "Why go to such an extent? Aizen's smile pulled taut over his lips, never quite reaching his eyes. "Because I love you. And when I love someone, I make sure they can never leave me." Aizen leaned down until his lips brushed against your ear. "There's no escape, my dear. Not now, not ever."

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[genderqueerdykes]

Thanks for being pro endo. I think I might be traumagenic but I do NOT feel safe in anti-endo spaces because they are constantly looking for "proof" that you are a faker. It makes me on edge in so-called "safe spaces."

Also, I really don't like to disclose to just anyone that I have trauma. It's nobody's business what happened to me when I was a child.

you should NEVER have to disclose your trauma- that leaves you vulnerable for people leveraging that knowledge against you and being re-traumatized or encountering new trauma. that is dangerous and honestly, i am raising my eyebrow at every single person who demands someone divulge their trauma and triggers. why exactly do you need that information? it's sketchy. it's going to be used as ammunition. it has nothing to do with "proving" that ur plural, this is clearly someone who wants to collect this information so they can knowingly use it against you and abuse you.

like, it's extremely obvious. it's not about "proving" that you're traumatized. it's about having blackmail against you. you're on the right track here, this goes to EVERYONE: DO NOT DETAIL YOUR TRAUMA AND TRIGGERS TO INTERNET STRANGERS. DON'T EVEN DO IT FOR YOUR FRIENDS. THIS LEAVES YOU EXTREMELY VULNERABLE.

it sucks. i'm sorry that you've had to deal with this. i barely interact with online plural communities anymore because the fighting is literally so fucking pointless. we're not having conversations about plurality anymore. people like this don't give a singular fuck about the plural experience and sharing how diverse plurality is. all they care about is controlling other people. if you come across people like anon detailed in plural spaces: they do not give a singular shit about spreading correct information on plurality and literally just want to control people.

take care of yourself, try to stay safe out there as best as you can. there are good plurals out there who get you. it's just a very vocal minority who decide that they get to use their 5 minutes of research into dissociative plurality against people who have real world experiences. like the vast majority of the time the people who do this don't actually know shit about dissociative plurality itself, let alone. i'll have people try to offer me "sources" on the matter, but i know that they haven't done research outside of being able to pull up a few papers to look smug and smart. it's old. it's hurting people. all this is accomplishing is hurting people. it's not about helping people understand dissociative plurality. it's about controlling and hurting people on purpose.

[dufferpuffer]

BNHA isn't exactly a shining example of great disability rep... but it has its moments - and it has things that are truly WONDERFUL.

It's a children's 'hero' story that's constantly juggling the concepts of "Don't work so hard that you hurt yourself! Eat your vegetables." and "GO PLUS ULTRA! SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA HURT TO WIN!" Which are both... difficult messages when it comes to disability. Not bad. Just difficult. It's not so clear cut for us.

Often staying healthy and keeping safe DOES hurt us. It hurts me. My day-to-day life is made worse by doing all the things I need to do to continue my alive streak: eat, drink, walk, take meds... Is keeping healthy 'PLUS ULTRA' when it's agonizing and miserable - or is letting myself live for a moment, ignoring everything for the sake of adventure and comfort, 'PLUS ULTRA' for being reckless...?

While it does touch on it, BNHA isn't out here trying to answer such questions - and I don't blame it for that. I wouldn't want it to. All Might gives a more elegant answer than any awkward moral:

"I've decided to keep on living."

All Might was a man whose body was his entire sense of self. His strength, his abilities, his smile - not only his self worth but his very identity was ultimately reliant on his health. He lived selflessly, as 'any good hero should'. His life belonged to everyone else; to the concept of work he could do for society.

So what can he feel other than anguish when he becomes disabled? His health eroded, his body ruined, his smile hollowed... He tried to live PLUS ULTRA, pretending he was fine for seven years even though it was literally killing him - because how else can he live??

He lost friends because he refused to be 'a useless shell of who he once was, rotting away in misery. A disappointment.' His friends wanted him alive... but he didn't feel like living, if it meant being 'selfish' and not giving every ounce of himself to work.

His physical health got worse. His mental health got worse. He couldn't work for as many hours as a hero so he started teaching, to squeeze every bit of use out of him... waiting for a welcome death.

"passively suicidal, who knew that his own death was coming soon yet did nothing to change its outcome" He wasn't living. He was lifting others up till his arms gave out.

But now, after so many tragedies and triumphs... hurting himself with recklessness, feeling the weight and pain of managing his health... ...He has decided to keep living.

Living. For himself, for joy, for love - those things he was loathe to want for being selfish and useless... he can just be now. He has had to change his life so many times to suit his health, watch doors close around him, every time with self-judgement he would never apply to someone else - all for the goal of being useful.

Now hes finally decided to make himself a priority. He's learned how to enjoy living. To see himself in his drastically different, less-able, sick body... and to love it. "I've decided to keep on living."

It genuinely does mean so much to me that All Might lived, and he wanted to live. Like being able to see a character so passively suicidal, who knew that his own death was coming soon yet did nothing to change its outcome, decide he wanted to keep on living? To decide that he would continue to live? And actually be able to live? Also subverting the trope of the old mentor dying after passing on all he could to his student in the progress, and ending up old and retired and happy. It's just so beautiful to see

[ed-recoverry]

Hey!

Beating yourself to a pulp when someone asks you to own up to a wrongdoing is just as toxic as refusing to take any accountability.

Admitting you’re wrong sucks. Having someone tell you you’re wrong really really sucks. No doubt about it.

But we are all human. Even the healthiest among us are bound to fuck up many, many times.

And part of being healthy and maintaining healthy relationships is being able to own your mistake and move on.

Yes, it’s toxic and counter productive if you refuse to take any responsibility.

But it’s equally as toxic to go on and on about how awful you are and how the person asking for an apology should just leave because of how much you suck. And how this means you’re the worst friend/partner in the world and you deserve nothing.

This is just as toxic as refusing to take any responsibility because this is another form of refusing to take responsibility.

All this does is make the person who asked for an apology feel like they owe you an apology. It also sends the message that they are bad for wanting an apology.

That is not accepting responsibility.

It’s sucks realizing you fucked up. Admitting it sucks even more. But it’s a whole lot easier (and healthier) to apologize for your actions and move on than to dwell over how awful you are for making a mistake.

Because you aren’t. Everyone makes mistakes.

Apologize, move on, and take steps to avoid making the same mistake. That is how you give an apology and ensure your partner/friend feels safe with you.

We all mess up. We all need to give apologies. I promise it isn’t the end of the world.

[writingtraumaforever]

Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 34

Notes: I probably won’t get any more updates out until after the holidays. So happy holidays everyone! Stay safe and warm! 💙

Summary: Rouge is upset about the alternate Shadow’s view of her. Shadow receives a message.

UC Masterpost!

Link to my AO3!

Start:

Reaching the rendezvous point, Shadow and Rouge hold their desired items in hand. Shadow with the emeralds and Rouge with the hard drive of research on the Time Eater.

“That was easy enough,” Rouge smirks, moving to Shadow with her bag open for him to put the emeralds inside, “We should head back—“

Shadow only gives her one emerald. She quirks a brow at this, immediately offended by the gesture of seeming distrust.

“Uhh, you gonna carry that the whole way back?” Rouge huffs, crossing her arms at him, “You forget, I want our Shadow back just as much as you want to be back in your world.”

Shadow blinks at this, looking at her in confusion a moment, “Huh?? Oh, no. I-… I wasn’t meaning to mislead you. I was simply going to chaos control us back.”

Rouge pauses, her defensive demeanor slowly easing up now and feeling more sheepish for how quickly she jumped to conclusions, “Oh.. you sure that’s a good idea considering you using chaos control is what got us all into this mess in the first place??”

“I don’t think it was me using chaos control that did it,” Shadow explains with a thoughtful furrow of his brow, “I think it was me using chaos control with a fake emerald.”

“But Sonic did it,” Rouge frowns, her own brows furrowing skeptically, “On the ARK. Back before you sacrificed yourself here in our world. He used it to escape death with the fake emerald.”

“Yes, but that’s Sonic,” Shadow points out, “He naturally holds chaos in his very bones. I was created. Much like that emerald. Chaos was put into me by force of experimentation and DNA intermingling. All this mixed with me using the fake emerald could’ve very well somehow corrupted the use of chaos control and be what tore the space between dimensions open.”

“That.. would make sense,” Rouge ponders with a quirk of her brow, “You do use chaos control pretty often with a normal emerald, and this never happened any of those times.”

“Exactly,” Shadow nods, tossing the emerald up before catching it and clutching it to himself, “So.. ready to warp?”

“Ugh,” she groans, rolling her eyes and stepping towards him so he can lightly place a hand around her waist— a bit sheepish about it, mind you, “I hate chaos controlling..”

Shadow smirks slightly at this, but he’s too focused on getting back to Tails and getting in contact with his Sonic to comment on it. His mind is a one way street, and at the end of it is his partner..

“Chaos control!”

A flash of light outside of Tails’ workshop and Shadow and Rouge reappear in a matter of less than a moment. Once there, he lets go of her and begins walking towards the workshop, Rouge following behind with a little frown. Honestly, the whole mission with this new Shadow just showed how different he was from her own. How she’s truly lost him..

She’s lost the one person she trusts more than anyone. The one person she’s allowed into her walls, and simultaneously felt as though he had let her in his in return. They understood each other. And this new Shadow— he doesn’t seem to care too much for her. Always hesitant to work with her, referring to her as ‘Bat’, showing general distrust..

It stings. Even if she knows it shouldn’t. Even if she knows it’s silly to think they would be friends in every world. She should’ve known that this world was just a fluke. She got lucky with her Shadow. She wasn’t meant for commitments and friendships..

Just more reason she has to get her Shadow back home.

“Sorry for snappin’ at you,” the bat comments before they enter the workshop, “back there. About the chaos emerald. Thought you didn’t trust me.”

“I don’t,” Shadow admits, pausing to turn and look at her with a quirked brow, “well.. not you. I don’t know you. But I don’t trust our Rouge back home.”

“Why? If you don’t mind me askin’, anyway,” she questions, though she tries to seem nonchalant about it. Like she doesn’t really care.

“She works with GUN..,” Shadow answers simply, “..Don’t have good experiences with GUN.”

“That’s all?” she asks with a quirk of her brow, “No personal reasons??..”

Shadow stays quiet a moment, pondering this before looking away with a neutral expression. Then he shakes his head.

Rouge frowns, not seeming satisfied by this answer, “Come on. There’s gotta be some reason you refuse to look me in the face half the time. Other than just working for GUN— which you work with too in this world, mind you—“

“Why does it matter??” Shadow asks, voice sounding a bit impatient now as he looks at the bat with furrowed brows.

She pauses now, blinking at him a moment and then clearing her throat with a shrug, “It.. doesn’t.”

“Okay then,” Shadow nods, crossing his arms with the emerald still in hand, “..So we’re done here?”

“Guess so,” she huffs, the tension between them only seeming to grow rather than shrink like she had been intending.

“Alright..”

She watches as he walks into the workshop, the door shutting behind him as she takes a moment to just breathe in a deep breath then sigh it out slowly..

This was all hitting her harder than she anticipated losing Shadow ever would..

“Yikes,” a voice from behind makes her spin around to see Knuckles gliding down from nearby, seemingly hearing their conversation, “That was hard to watch.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have been watching,” she snaps with a huff, going into her typical offensive mode with the echidna that she puts on when she doesn’t want him to see her vulnerable.

He immediately raises his hands in surrender and takes a step back, “Easy. Didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was just getting back from emerald hunting— found one, by the way.”

“Good,” she huffs out, turning around to walk inside, “One step closer to getting this mess fixed—“

She’s stopped by Knuckles’ hand on her shoulder, halting her steps from the weight and warmth it holds.

“…Are you alright?”

She takes another long breath in, shutting her eyes and internally demanding she not let that question trigger her emotions right now. She’s gotta hold it together. Even if she really isn’t alright.

“Peachy,” she sighs out.

“Yeah. Sure sound it,” Knuckles remarks sarcastically, letting his hand squeeze her shoulder, “He doesn’t know you.. don’t let his judgments change your perspective of yourself—“

“Please stop acting like you know me or something,” Rouge rolls her eyes, shoving his large mit off her shoulder, “I said I’m fine. Just ready for this to be done.”

“Rouge—“

“Drop it,” she snaps, turning to narrow her eyes at him to let him know she’s serious.

He stares back at her, brows knitting a bit as he then sighs and looks away with a small nod and gruff, “Fine. But when you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”

Rouge’s eyes soften just slightly at this, but she keeps her defensive stance. Hands on her hips and jaw locked..

Knuckles moves around her to go inside.

She follows after him.

Shadow is standing by Tails, his arms crossed and a small frown on his muzzle as he taps his foot on the ground impatiently.

“So you think you almost got it??” Shadow’s brow knits, not trying to pressure the kit but also anxious to find out if his Sonic is okay..

Rouge and Knuckles join them, each placing their emeralds on opposite corners of the table. They spark a bit at being in close proximity for the first time since their last use, but nothing more.

“Maybe,” Tails sighs, scratching at his head with the end of a wrench before frowning, “I still haven’t fully gotten the hang of how to appropriately conduct the chaos energy and convert it from the emeralds to the device. That much power could outright make it explode if not transferred properly.”

Shadow has taken note that this team doesn’t seem quite as advanced when it comes to getting a hold on chaos energy and controlling it appropriately, but he has certainly learned a thing or two thanks to helping Tails in his own world.

“Maybe you could—“

“Hello?? Hello, this is Miles Tails Prower calling Shadow. Come in Shadow.”

Shadow’s eyes grow wide, everyone’s gaze immediately falling on him as he lifts his watch up to try and speak back, “Tails??? Tails, I’m here! Do you copy???”

Nothing. Static and silence.

Shadow groans in frustration.

“We have to get a signal out! We need more power to reach them—“

“Shadow??? Shadow, buddy, you hear me?? This is Sonic— you know who I am, what am I sayin‘.”

Shadow goes silent, eyes locking on the screen of his communicator watch as his partner’s voice comes through..

It’s like the rest of the world goes silent. Everything around him zoning out as Sonic’s voice speaks muffled and staticky through the tiny watch speaker,

“I’m okay. I just wanted to let you know in case you got any alerts or anything. I’m fine. I know you’ve probably been worried out of your mind for me.. I know I have been about you.”

Shadow’s smiling. He doesn’t know when he started smiling, but it’s wide and pained and wobbly. His eyes feel misty, a quiet and breathy chuckle coming from him as a wave of relief washes over him.

“I really hope you can hear me right now.”

There’s sniffling and Shadow’s heart aches. His fingers flexing uncomfortably with the need to reach out for someone who isn’t there.

“I hope you’re safe.. and not doing anything stupid without me. I hope that other Sonic is taking care of you like your other version has been taking care of me.”

Another wave of relief. With how this world’s Sonic speaks of his alternate, he wasn’t sure just how kind he would be to his own Sonic.. but it seems he’s been adequate.

“We’re all good here, bud. Just missin’ you somethin’ awful.. We’re gonna get you back here soon, though, alright??? Promise.”

Shadow lets out a shaky breath, pressing his forehead to his watch as a single tear slides down his cheek without his permission. He doesn’t care.. he just misses him so much. So damn much.

“We could send him a voice recording?” Tails’ voice comes from the background, a bit quieter due to not being the one close to the mic. It knocks Shadow out of his daze, slightly, his eyes opening again as he looks down at the communicator with knitted brows and listens to the two speak.

“Not a live one like this, but one he can play back? It should reach his communicator. We can maybe explain how we’ve gotten things running on our end and he can play it for whoever he has helping him and they can know what to do?”

“Yeah,” Sonic’s voice comes a bit quieter and holding more hope in it now, “yeah, that’s a good plan. Let’s do that.”

“On it.”

Static. And then more silence.

Shadow sighs shaky and drops his wrist, head tilting back to stare up at the ceiling as he rubs his fingers back through his quills with long inhale and then slow and wobbled exhale.

Rouge, Knuckles and Tails are stare at him with wide eyes. None saying a word about what just happened. What they just heard.

It all makes sense.. Rouge can’t find herself surprised by this. This alternate Sonic and Shadow obviously being involved with one another.. Even in this world, she always knew they had a connection. Even if they were each in denial over it. Sonic lived rent-free in Shadow’s head far too much for Shadow not to feel something for him. But to actually see it firsthand.. hear it with her own ears how much this other Sonic seems to care for this Shadow..

It was surreal.

And it clicked so many pieces together.

It’s gonna be real interesting when Blue gets to hear all this for himself..

They stay quiet until the watch gives a little beep. Shadow rubs his hand down his face and looks back to it, eyes glossy and red-rimmed but no more tears fall. He taps the screen only to see an incoming message being downloaded. He gives a shaky chuckle of relief and takes the watch off, handing it to Tails now and offering a small smile,

“This should help.”

“Yeah..,” Tails says, slowly moving to take the watch from Shadow, “Thanks..”

Shadow looks lighter now. Tension having left him at hearing his own Sonic is in fact safe. Relief has flooded him and hope is restoring inside him..

He’ll be home soon.

He’s okay.

He’s okay.

We’re okay.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

What Making Friends Should Feel Like:

I CAN Network Ltd

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[groupwest]

Want to actually kill myself :-/

[the-bloody-sadist]

I think English isn't your first language or something but you need to know straight up you're being an asshole, and you're coming across as a really mean person. People sharing their ideas with you is just that; they're just sharing their ideas with you. And you telling them they're basic and to be more creative can ruin their day and ruin them ever wanting to talk to their favorite creators again. Do fucking better.

BAHAHAH do you honestly think I care if you think I’m a meanie weenie 😂 hold up let me feel guilty real quick and come back bowing and scraping and apologizing—😔🙏

I’m not sure what you expect from someone named SADIST, but I’m not here to come across as a nice person. You must’ve mixed me up with TheFriendlySadist. I’m here to create, little guy. If I think it’s a dumb or uncreative idea, I’m gonna say it because that’s what I’m thinking. Didn’t they share it with me to hear my opinions? I’m not gonna lie to them. I honestly don’t care about the feelings of some innocuous, invisible internet person who’s dropping me a random idea from their head like I’ll care. I hope to discourage that, actually. It’s weird to me.

You’re so cute, though, sorry you had to strive for attention by reaching out to a meanie like me (on behalf of a person who never asked).

Next time try something a little more scathing. I was unimpressed. And if it ruined their day like it ruined yours, I hope they get a better grip on their lives (and you, too). There’s a lot worse that can happen than being told your idea was uncreative.

Trust me, I've been told the same. You get over it or you're too sensitive. Grow balls. Be ready for rejection when you share your ideas.

(My favorite part is that you tried to give me a good excuse for my behavior by saying that English must not be my native language 😂 as if I wouldn’t be straight up mean on purpose LMAO. I can assure you it was wholly intentional.)

[inutaffy]

"i didn't want to talk in front of archie and the others .... as it turns out, peabody had a lot to say. the bounty on your pal Archie, it's not just on him. it's on anyone who's with him or is helping him. which means there is a target on your back now too jughead. it's the same if he goes back to riverdale. archie's dad, archie's friends, everyone is at risk. which is why you got to cut him loose."

"im not just gonna ditch archie, mom! he's my best friend."

here's how j/archie can still win

[gentlenotes-moved]

living in fear may have kept you safe in the past, but it won't help you now. i know it feels the most comfortable to live within the anxieties caused by the unhealthy environment you used to be in, truly, i get it. but almost every time, true comfort will be found outside of your current comfort zone. because right now, it's a toxic zone, no matter how safe it feels. it's a barrier of fears from an unsafe environment that you're no longer living in. you're safe now, so be brave and find joy outside of the anxious barrier your past unhealthy environment has given you.

[sunnywalnut]

No because the last part actually saved younger me from a lot of trouble and/or embarrassing situations.

Like it's easy to pretend that your social media page is basically a diary and treat it as such. It's easy to vent about that annoying girl Brittney that goes to your school, or post a photo of your outfit as you wait outside of your school. It's easy to think that "well I'm 17. That's close enough" when adults say that no minors should be allowed to do x thing online.

But you know what's not easy?

Getting all of that back from bad people who don't tell you they're saving it.

From your online friends to literal strangers who read all of your posts and piece things together, everyone could be using this information for bad.

It is up to you to figure out what information you're willing to have used against you.

And yeah. Sometimes that means having boundaries with your online friends that you don't have irl.

There's something that I find equal parts hilarious and terrifying.

On one hand it is so funny watching the generation previous to mine (I was born in 84) absolutely say the most unhinged shit online, doxx themselves, and get fired, after spending my entire childhood teaching me online opsec because every stranger was a potential murderer. Social media done rotted their brains.

But on the other I'm seeing kids coming up, seeing them spew all their personals online, and using that to model their unsafe behavior and put themselves at incredible risk because the internet actually got way more dangerous than it was, ironically, when I was coming up being told I had to basically outsmart the fuckin CIA. Now the actual CIA and other bad actors (government, private, and individual) really are out there and these kids are watching fucking meemaw post a photo of the front of her house practically captioned with her fucking SSN and thinking, "yeah, sure, the adults know what's safe."

I gotta be a fuckin millennial about this and beg younger folx to listen to the VCR generation: hide yourself online. Nothing should go there you wouldn't want in the hands of the person who hates you the most.

Be safe, be smart, be a fucking ghost.

[sturionic]

Activism is not cold-calling.

Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.

I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.

As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.

Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.

Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.

This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.

Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.

[eddieydewr]

Hi! This may be a bit of a rant but there is something I really wanna share with someone so I hope you don't mind.

I have a friend who I knew 'cause we were in the same club at uni. He's very eloquent and smart, so I really respect him (but mostly from afar 'cause I was shy lol). And then I saw him post about ST season 4, and about Will in particular so I mustered up my courage and messaged him "hey have u seen the parallels between Will and Vecna?". And we started talking about other ST-related stuff. We even ranted a lot about vol 2 after watching that lol. We also talked about books and TV shows and overall, I was glad ST helped me make more friends.

When the free Palestine movement became popular last year, I was not surprised when I saw him post about Gaza or Rafah 'cause well... he's just like a typical queer, chronically online, twitter user lol (both complimentary and derogatory, sometimes I find his humor funny, sometimes I just wanna roll my eyes). We have never talked about this topic and honestly I really don't feel like. I just simply carry on sharing posts and stories about discrimination against Jewish and Israeli people and anti-Hamas stuff.

And then recently I saw him posting overtly anti-Israel things, like "u think this is hot now, wait til you go to hell for supporting Israel". Not gonna lie, I chuckled when I saw that 'cause first of all, I am an atheist so whatever man I don't believe in hell anyway. Second, I don't know what other non-Jewish people who support Israel (as in 'its existence is legitimate and the people there deserve peace', not the government itself) may feel about hell, but as far as I'm concerned, Jewish people don't seem to put that much weight on the concept of hell and heaven, right?. So like "bro you should have choose something else more menacing than that lol"

Now I can scroll through that post but what irks me the most is what he chose to share today.

https://x.com/redstreamnet/status/1841561550378651724

I find it so freaking ironic how after everything that has happened in Iran recently (and how many Iranians have spoken out against the Islamic republic), this is the first Iran-related thing he posted about. Like I'm so close to just forward to him a video of Iranians celebrating the death of Nasrallah or comments/posts of Iranians thanking Israel for it, or overall just people between these two countries wishing each other peace and freedom. I'm not sure if I can call what I'm feeling "anger" 'cause it's not exactly strong as when I see people deny October 7. But there is surely a sense of resignation.

I don't see those pro-pal people as bad or evil. I actually believe that most of them have good intentions, but to me, they are too caught up in their self-righteousness and black-and-white views to acknowledge the grey area of this whole mess.

I saw you own up to your own hypocrisy a few days ago and ngl I admire you for that lol. I only think of humans as "paradoxical by nature" so a person saying conflicting stuff is normal to me. But it's annoying as hell when someone doesn't think they are capable of hypocrisy or double standards.

Anyways, have a great day. Thank you for reading all this. Sorry it's kinda long. Being concise is not my strong suit lol.

hey anon, let’s hug. if you want?

i rly don’t have much to offer bc my brain is currently mush, you probably just wanted to vent and that’s ok. i just didn’t want to leave you on read. 💚

look, i’m using jquinn even though he annoys me atm but i just couldn’t resist, lmao. like yeah, #me.