#what if i make her hate me what if im still not enough.i am setting myself up to get my heart broken in themost spectacular worldending way.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.
Text
Want to actually kill myself :-/
#not really 😿#i just. i feel that i am making a mistake 😿 and it's horrible because the mistake i am making is the only thing i have ever really wanted#its fucking worth it i guess. is it? apparently love is worth it even when it makes you want to die#maybe love shouldnt make you want to die. maybe its me thats broken. if its good and beautiful i dont deserve it but if it's hard and ugly#then you just hate yourself because it must be your fault and you must be able to do better#and i just love her so much but what if she cant get better. i know she can. but what if i cant save her#what if i end up so much more doomed for my efforts. what if i spend another two years trying to keep my head above water trying to solve#unsolvable problems and fighting a loosing battle against someone who?#should be my partner my friend my equal#trying to fill someones head with love and goodness in vein because they wont let go or loosen their grip on their trauma responses#will i really be able to live the life i want to live if i keep promising her the world. what if i just fail once again for thebillionthtime#what if i make her hate me what if im still not enough.i am setting myself up to get my heart broken in themost spectacular worldending way.#and its actually horrifying. i want to live under a fucking rock forever and never make any fri3nds ever again because maybe I'll finally#feel safe that way. yay#who up catastrophising with me tonight. yippee. lets all hold hands so tight
4 notes
·
View notes