#Major Depressive disorder

[closingremarks]

[vixensofdeath]

I am so tired and burnt out, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore

[snake-habitat1]

“do you want to talk about it?”

no, i want to kill myself because of it.

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Dick, after Tim nearly sacrificing himself Again: Tim .... you know we care about you... right?

Tim: That's strange...

Jason, was eavesdropping: What is?

Tim, blandly: The data does Not support that

Dick: Wha..?

Tim, pulling out a PowerPoint full of wacky transitions and clashing colours, titled "Evidence That Tim Drake Does Not Matter": Alright, do you want all the evidence starting with my parents or just what's relevant to the bat clan only?

Jason: Jesus, replacement.... please send this PowerPoint to a therapist and get so much help

Damian: Drake! Why is Richard crying?? What is this trash?

[neuroticboyfriend]

After seeing this Mental Health Pain Scale a while ago, I realized that it doesn't really work well for people whose mental wellness changes frequently (ex: people with BPD or C-PTSD, addicts), and very extremely. So, I made some tweaks for myself, and hopefully it can help others:

Here's a version with a table :) Emotional Distress Scale

0 - I feel great! This is the best I’ve felt in a long time!

1 - I’m feeling really good! There’s no distress to address.

2 - I’m feeling good. If I start feeling bothered, I can be easily distracted or cheered up.

3 - I’m okay, but there are some things bothering me. I can easily cope with them, though.

4  - I could be better. There are a few things distressing me right now. It’s not exactly easy to deal with, but I still have the skills to get through it.

5 - I’m not okay. It’s getting harder to do the things I want to do, but I can do them. My coping skills aren’t working as well anymore, but enough of them work to get me through the day. I need some support.

6 - I’m feeling bad, and it’s very hard to do the things I need or want to do. Most of my coping skills aren’t effective right now, and it’s taking a lot of energy to stay stable. I need help.

7 - I’m feeling awful. It’s hard to focus on anything but my emotions, and/or I’m avoiding things that distress me. I can’t do much but try to take care of myself, which is already hard in itself. I’m running low on, or have run out of, effective coping skills. I need a lot of help right now.

8 - I’m feeling awful, and I can’t escape it anymore. How I feel is affecting every part of my day, and I’m reaching the point where I can’t function. It’s hard to sleep, eat, socialize, etc. I need help before I can’t handle anything.

9 - This is approaching the worst I could feel. I can’t function anymore. My emotions have totally consumed me. I may be a danger to myself or others, or I may be neglecting myself. I need urgent help.

10 - This is the worst I’ve felt ever/since [last time]. I can’t care for myself at all. My emotions are so intense, I’m at imminent risk of dangerously acting on them. I need crisis support immediately.

11 - I have acted on my emotions and hurt myself or someone else. Everything else in my life is impossible to comprehend. I need medical care and/or crisis support immediately.

Note that this doesn't really work well if your positive states end up being unhealthy (ex: mania, idealization, etc.), so it's geared towards negative emotions. This is also meant to be about how you feel NOW. The other scale works best for viewing your overall state.

[red-depressive]

Please just let me sleep my life away....

I don't want to live another day....

[cleosmasterpiece]

I want a life that I'm not always trying to escape from

[soberscientistlife]

[futuretherapoo]

Its insane how certain behaviours and actions of a parent absolutely fucks up a child to the point where they won't be able to properly function as an adult.

[jakkosdiary]

maybe I'm better off dead, if I was, would it finally be enough to shut out all those voices in my head?

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

Having suicidal depression is like having a constant itch you can’t scratch. Even if you don’t plan on actually committing suicide the feeling doesn’t just go away. It’s constantly in the back of your mind. Whenever road blocks happen in your life instead of figuring out how to fix things like a normal person would your brain immediately goes to, “just kill yourself.” When you wake up in the morning the first thought you have is about killing yourself because your dreams are the only time you can escape the pain of living with suicidal depression. You find no worth in your accomplishments. Even when you actually do accomplish something it’s like it has no worth because you don’t find worth in yourself. You constantly compare yourself to your peers and wonder if you would have actually been succseful like them if you didn’t have a mental illness. Even if you do feel happy for a moment that moment ends and you remember that you have no worth, are stupid, haven’t accomplished anything in life and are a waste of space who needs to just end it already. You know you’re unlovable. No one wants to be with someone with suicidal depression because they don’t want to be with someone who will bring them down. You constantly are thinking about killing yourself and knowing that you can’t makes you feel trapped. Dying isn’t a soluation but you don’t want to live another disappointing year where nothing but bad things happen to you and you don’t grow or change at all. Having suicidal depression is watching everyone around you grow and change while you remain the same. And no one can see how much pain you are in.

[vixensofdeath]

the urge to die and become nothing becomes stronger every day

[snake-habitat1]

sorry babe, i can’t have sex right now, im posting about how much i want to kill myself online .

[neurocophany-theyshe]

Depression is so fun bc you’ll have like 20% motivation and energy to do something after work, but then ofc you don’t do anything bc you’re 80% depressed, but then you feel guilty bc theoretically you could have done something with the 20% energy, and bc of what we learn in society, you therefore should have done something. So then you lay there feeling the 80% depressed that you already were but the 20% motivation and energy turns into guilt for not doing anything. And then if you math, that’s 100% depressed.

[neuroticboyfriend]

do you have "treatment resistant depression" or are you just fundamentally living a life that would make anyone depressed?

are you just dealing with abuse, poverty, and oppression? are you just dealing with a lifetime of trauma? do we just live in a society where peoples basic needs are neglected, and the completely understanble response to that is pathologized? on purpose? so that it's just an individual problem and people arent Trying Enough... so nothing about the system has to change?

...do you have "treatment resistant depression," or do you just need real community, support, resources, and protection?

[red-depressive]

I look to the future and see nothing but an emptiness devoid of all hope....