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mozart-the-meerkitten · 4 days ago

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I have so many AU's in my head and so little energy to write them so have an OG Star Trek/Edward Scissorhands crossover I vividly hallucinated on the way to walmart today and want to write when I'm not so exhausted:

So this has the structure of an OG Star Trek episode but like the special guest is Edward. So it starts off normally with Kirk's voiceover telling his captain's log what the Mission is this episode. Said mission is to investigate weird energy readings on a planet and see if they pose any threat to the small Earth colony on the planet.

Kirk, Spock and a security team (aka redshirts) beam down to the rocky, mountainous planet and presently discover a tunnel where the energy readings are coming from. Kirk and Spock go through the tunnel and come out the other side into the verdant garden of Edward's mansion.

(rest under the cut because this got ridiculously long)

They investigate and Spock says that the tricorder readings say that this is an entirely different planet from the one they just left and that there is one life sign nearby. After investigating the garden (which even Spock comments on, leading Kirk to comment that he thought Vulcans didn't appreciate beauty, to which Spock replies that Vulcans are capable of appreciating the aesthetically pleasing without having an emotional response.)

They head inside the mansion and are surprised by the stark difference to the garden. They inspect the machines but don't know what they're for and Spock informs the captain that the life sign is on the top floor of the mansion. Since they've done this sort of thing a few times they realize this could be a trap so they retrieve the security team and also call down Bones and Scotty from the Enterprise- Scotty to see if he can get the machines in the mansion running and Bones in case anyone gets hurt.

Kirk, Spock and Bones head up to the attic. Once there they inspect the hole in the roof but all they can see out of it is the town. Kirk and Bones also find Edward's bed and look curiously at his little cutouts until Spock calls them over and tells them their mystery life sign is in the corner of the attic.

Edward is hiding in the corner like he does in the movie and they can kind of see the vague outline of a person there so Kirk gives his normal spiel introducing himself as captain of the Enterprise, on a peaceful mission, etc. Eventually he manages to coax Edward out to where they can see him.

They're less shocked at his appearance than Peg was but they're still surprised. Bones scans him from a safe distance and confirms the tricorder readings that said Edward is kind of human. Kirk questions Edward and they manage to learn his name and that he was created in the castle by his father and that he's been alone since his father died and he hasn't gone down into the town because he's "not finished". Edward is just as nervous meeting people for the first time as he is meeting Peg in the movie.

They're interrupted by a bang from downstairs and Scotty yelling that he got the machine working. Kirk asks Edward if he knows what the machine is and Edward tells him it makes cookies. Bones is skeptical. Spock mutters "fascinating" as he continues to fiddle with the tricorder. Kirk convinces Edward to come downstairs with them.

Kirk sends the security team outside so as not to freak Edward out any more than need be. Edward and Scotty are slightly alarmed at the sight of each other but Edward is quickly distracted by his father's machine actually working. Scotty confirms that it is a machine for making cookies.

Kirk asks Spock and Bones for their analysis of the situation and Spock informs them that they have not only traveled in space, but time and that they are currently on Earth in the mid 20th century (again) and that the portal between the two places will close in about an hour.

Kirk then asks what they think of Edward. Bones says he must be some kind of android and that while he looks like a man Edward obviously has the mind and understanding of a child. Spock adds that it's impressive that an inventor in the 1900's was able to make such a creature. Kirk is reluctant to leave Edward behind all alone because of his childlike nature but Spock reminds him that they're in the past and that taking Edward to the Enterprise could have dangerous consequences to the timeline. So Kirk orders him to go back to Enterprise and check history to see if Edward ever leaves the castle and if taking him could affect anything.

A little while later Spock contacts them and explains that if they leave Edward he'll eventually go down to the town, live there a few months and then be chased out by the townsfolk and subsequently killed in an altercation with them and that there's no other records of Edward that the computer or Spock can find. Kirk concludes that removing Edward from the timeline would have a negligible effect but Spock reminds him that it could have unexpected consequences. Bones adds that they don't know why the townspeople chased Edward away either and that it could be because he turned violent. They look over at Edward, who is currently sitting on the floor next to his father's cookie machine, holding a heart sugar cookie and looking sad. Kirk gives Bones a look that says, "Really? You sure about that?" and then goes over to talk to Edward.

Kirk asks Edward if he'd like to live with other people and of course the poor lonely boy says yes. Kirk tells him that Edward could come with them to Enterprise and that they could find a home for him with other people- and give him proper hands too. Edward is very excited at the idea of this, but Bones adds that Edward would never be able to come back to the mansion, he'd be leaving forever. Edward is sad at the idea of that, but he still wants to come with them.

So when the group leaves they take Edward with them. Edward is anxious and a little reluctant to go through the portal and gives one last look to his garden, but Kirk calls to him and after a moment Edward follows. The portal closes behind him.

The security team is beamed up first and Edward freaks out a little when they just disappear. Scotty tries to explain the transporter to him and Bones grumbles about having his atoms rearranged.

Once Edward is on the ship he's pretty overwhelmed. Kirk sends him with Bones to sickbay to get checked out and promises to come get Edward and show him his new quarters (he has to explain what "quarters" are) after the ship is underway.

Bones gives Edward a medical exam and reports to Kirk when he comes down to sickbay. Bones is... a little surprised and unnerved by Edward's anatomy and the fact that he's not just partially mechanical but that he's made up of such weird old mechanical bits (I took some pictures of the Inventor's sketches for Edward's body from the movie and I'm pretty sure this kid has a bellows for lungs HOW does that work???). He also reports on Edward's mental state and reiterates that Edward has a very childlike understanding of most things, but that he seems perfectly intelligent and can read and do things like basic math. He's still not sure if bringing Edward here was a good idea.

We then go back to Kirk's captain's log comments where he talks about the next few days and Edward settling in to being on the ship. The crew, for the most part, likes Edward and pretty much everyone is endeared by how sweet and polite he is. Kirk notes however that unlike other times when things like this have happened it seems to be perfectly natural and organic and Edward is definitely not manipulating anything. They plan to leave Edward on an Earth colony planet with the means to craft him normal hands and integrate him into society.

Edward is happy to be on the ship and with people. He's easily startled and overwhelmed and incredibly sensitive and not at all violent. In fact, on the rare occasion someone yells at him/gets annoyed/angry he'll retreat and apologize and sometimes panic and hide. The crew quickly figures out he's basically a child and treats him as such (but like, the way you SHOULD treat children, not in a demeaning way like the neighbors in the movie). He pops up in random places sometimes, like engineering and the bridge, but they're pretty sure he just gets lost sometimes and ends up there because he'll just stand in one spot and look wide eyed and lost until someone tells him what to do. He's basically the least problematic outsider they've ever had on the ship.

And then, a week or so after Edward comes on board, a dead crewman is found, stabbed through the heart.

Instantly, Edward is under suspicion. And, like, for good reason this time, like, they never bring anyone on this ship without having problems it's a theme.

They call Edward to sickbay where Kirk questions him. Edward isn't sure what's going on but he answers truthfully. Kirk shows him the body of the dead crewman and asks Edward if he knows him and Edward says he doesn't. Edward asks what's wrong with the man and Bones replies that he's dead. Edward asks Bones if he can fix him and Bones snaps at him that no, he can't, dead is dead and it would take an act of God to bring a dead person back, and then he very pointedly adds that when you stab someone through the heart that kills them. (Bones thinks that Edward killed the man, and that the townspeople drove him out on Earth because he hurt/killed someone.)

Edward is shocked and frightened by Bones' tirade, and at the end of it he very quietly states that that's what happened to his father. Kirk feels bad and tells him he can go.

Kirk and Bones argue about this; Bones doesn't think Kirk should let Edward freely roam the ship because he might become violent and hurt someone. Kirk argues that Edward has done nothing violent so far and seems innocent. Bones says that Edward's innocence might be the problem, that Edward might not even know he has the ability to kill someone and that he might have done it for the first time on accident... but he might do it a second time on purpose. Kirk just doesn't believe Edward had anything at all to do with the first murder.

A tense couple of days pass. People are more nervous and hostile around Edward now, though a fair number of the crew still believe he's innocent. Edward keeps following Spock around because Spock doesn't get angry with him. Spock is trying to teach him to play chess. Edward is not very good at it. (Spock would never admit it but he feels a bit of a connection with Edward- he understands being half human but not being able to understand or fit in with them)

Three days after the murder the bridge gets a panicked, one word message from Edward, "Help". They find him in a corridor standing over the body of a woman crewmember with blood on his hands. Edward tells them "I didn't mean to". The woman has been stabbed.

She is still alive this time though and is rushed to sickbay. Edward is confined to quarters. Kirk and Spock go to sickbay where Bones informs them that he thinks he can save the woman but he has to do surgery immediately. He berates Kirk for not locking Edward up sooner but Kirk thinks that things don't add up. After all, why would Edward stab someone and then call for help?

Spock agrees with Kirk that they're missing something and offers to do a mind-meld to find out what really happened. Bones says that they can't do it with the crewwoman because he has to take her into surgery, to which Spock replies that he meant he'd mind meld with Edward. Kirk asks if that's possible since Edward is part machine and Spock says they'll find out.

They go to Edward's quarters and find him sitting against the wall in a corner with his knees against his chest, crying. He's overwrought and tries to apologize and Kirk tells him they're here to find out what really happened. Spock explains, in basic terms, what a mind meld is and asks Edward if he's willing to try it. Edward agrees and they do the mind meld.

Spock learns that Edward was walking down a corridor when he heard voices shouting and went to try and see what was going on/help. He found a man with a knife raised, poised to stab to the injured crewwoman. Edward ran forward to try and help and, while he couldn't prevent the woman from getting stabbed he did chase the man away by running into him and accidentally cutting him- which was how the blood got on his hands. Realizing the woman was dying, Edward panicked and called the bridge for help.

Armed with this new information Kirk and Spock now know that Edward is innocent, but they now need to catch their true murderer. Kirk comes up with a plan to trap the man and prove Edward's innocence- but it involves putting Edward in danger. Basically, they assume that the killer will want to get rid of Edward now that Edward's seen him and so Kirk figures that they can trap the man by using Edward as bait. He explains this to Edward and tells him they'll come up with a different plan if he doesn't want to do it, but Edward agrees- he doesn't want anyone else put in danger and he, kind of, in a way, sees himself as expendable.

Kirk and Spock leave Edward's quarters but stay nearby with a security team and wait. Maybe an hour or so later the murderer arrives and goes into Edward's room where he confronts Edward and attacks him. Kirk, Spock and the security officers then rush into the room to apprehend the man, but he's gone mad and a madman is powerful. Luckily so is the Vulcan neck pinch and they manage to subdue him. Edward is injured but not badly, he's more just shaken and traumatized by everything.

Everything turns out alright; the crewwoman recovers, the murderer is put in the brig, and Edward's innocence is proved.

Later, Kirk questions the murderer and discovers that the man had personal grudges against the two people he attacked and that he'd been planning to kill them for a long time, Edward just gave him the perfect excuse to finally go through with his plan. Kirk is disgusted and a little unnerved. As he leaves the brig, Spock appears and tells him that he ran the murderous crewman's name through the computer and discovered that he is the descendant of the man Edward would have killed had he stayed in the proper timeline. They have a somewhat existential discussion about how history still demanded a life be taken and this was the way history righted itself and Kirk is upset that his actions caused the death of one of his crew and wonders if he did the right thing.

And then Edward appears and smiles at them and asks Spock if they can play chess and Kirk decides that he still made the right choice.

The End

Bonus scene/story to go with this: Enterprise takes Edward to some specialized medical facility and he gets his hands and shows them and he's all excited to go on adventures with them now and no one has the heart to tell him they were gonna just leave him (no, not even Spock, the main guys probably go through passing the potential conversation to the next until it stops on Spock and Spock's like "I believe the captain wishes me to relay that he has put in a request to Starfleet to allow you to join the crew." and Kirk is like "WHAT- I mean, of course, yes, right-" and Edward's just so happy and delighted. Kirk sends a message to Starfleet like "Listen you have to let me keep him. Someone will ADOPT him if necessary but not even my Vulcan science officer can bear to break his little mechanical heart by telling him he has to leave so he's a part of my crew now. I've stopped 27 universe-ending disasters in the past week, you have to give me this.") so they just. keep Edward. And he's just a little guy who hangs out on Enterprise and they teach him how to run parts of the ship.

#star trek #edward scissorhands #captain kirk #spock #bones mccoy #fanfic #writing #writers #crossover #this plot popped fully formed into my head Idk man #I have been watching a LOT of star trek recently #and a lot of edward scissorhands xD #I need y'all to imagine Edward wandering around the Enterprise just happy to be there #spock: this child keeps following me what do I do with him #spock: ... I guess I'll teach him to play chess. that's something human children can do right #bones apologizes to edward for thinking he killed people #edward has no idea bones thought he was a murderer he's just happy bones seems to like him now #*doors to the bridge open and edward steps out*#kirk: can. can I help you?#edward: the ship is big and I am lost #everyone on the bridge who's used to visitors being psycho: this is such a refreshing change

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