#insurgent

[asterias-record-shop]

—𓆩[something worse]𓆪—

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𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - Tobias Eaton (Four) x Fem! Dauntless Born! Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - smut, fluff

𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 2K

𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - You and Four had been together since he chose Dauntless, especially because you were one of the Dauntless born pulled into training. You both had never put a label on your relationship because it never seemed right, but everyone knew that you both were a couple, except the newest tributes you both were training, no matter how obvious you both made it. It seems you both have to make it a little more obvious.

𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - so sorry I was writing this during a final and it might suck I’m sorry 😭 || cursing || unprotected sex || creampie || oral || fingering

You were used to wandering eyes, you really were, your partner was literally the hottest man in Dauntless. It didn’t really matter about wandering eyes though when they knew you both were together, label or not, but it seemed to be difficult to get through the mind of one of the new initiates.

You weren’t born Abnegation like either of them, you were a bitch and you made sure everyone knew it. You were a lovable bitch though, that’s why you were being fucked every night by the hottest man in all of the factions.

It passed through your mind to just show her, get Four to tell her something is going on in a certain area just to pull him there to fuck you. You passed it through Tori just to make sure, and she said no though, so you decided not to go through with it.

Maybe that’s why you were watching Four fix Tris’ position because she wouldn’t stick with it when Eric did it. It made your skin crawl, staring at the two of them. Maybe it did feel right that he was with someone from his home faction, didn’t he like selfless people? You were selfless in your own way, right? He knew that.

“Hey, you okay?” Uriah asks you, a smile quickly making its way to your face.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m okay, thank you. I’m going to go see how some of the kids are doing, you mind telling Four?” You start collecting your stuff, inhaling deeply as Uriah follows you.

“He’s coming over here.”

You shoot up as Four stands in front of you, his brow raised. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to go do my time at the school,” you say, smiling slightly. “I just… haven’t seen King in a while.”

Four sighs. “Well… I can go with you in a minute, okay? King likes me, right?”

You laugh, slowly lifting your arms to wrap your arms around his neck before pausing. Public displays of affection were never really your thing, but you really wanted to.

Four saw you pause, leaning down to wrap his arms around your waist as you smiled and wrapped yours around his neck. “Everyone likes you, Four,” you teased, giggling. “But I love you.”

He smiles back, leaning down for a soft kiss as you tugged on his hair. “I love you too.”

You pulled his hands closer to your form, pulling his face into your neck as you looked over his shoulder just enough to wink at Tris before pulling away. “Let’s go see King.”

He nods, letting you lead him out of the training area and to the school. Dauntless didn’t teach like Erudite did, but they made sure that the children of the faction learned things needed to survive in the faction. King was a child of two Dauntless soldiers who had died exploring beyond the wall, and as a result, you both took him in sort of like your own.

Seeing you with a child really made Four want to give you a child, especially with how good you were with kids, but it never really seemed to be the right time.

That was until he saw you twirling another boy in your eyes, King cleaning one of Four’s guns while the older man oiled up one of the other ones. The younger boy was named Chris, someone whose parents got caught up in a mission and you both took him home just for a while.

“She looks good with a baby, right?” King asks, smiling. “Y/N was always good with kids. She was good with me,” he mumbles now, smiling. “I’m doing well in my training. She said that.”

“You are,” Four said with a smile. “You’re doing really well. Ranked third, kid, you’re doing good,” he leaned forward and ruffled his hair with a laugh. “Want you to get that first spot, though.”

King grins. “I will.”

Someone knocks making you fix Chris on your hip, quickly walking toward the door as Four stands. “Stay there,” he orders to King as you open the door, raising a brow when you see Tris. “Who is it?”

“Uhm… can I help you?”

She inhaled. “I just… I’m here to see Four.”

“Four, honey!” You yell out, the tall man coming behind you and settling a hand on your hip. “One of the trainees wants to speak with you.”

Four raised a brow. “Everything alright?”

Oh, the Abnegation was coming out.

“Y-Yeah, everything’s fine-”

“Perfect,” Four smiles, taking Chris from your arms and setting him on the ground. “King, come here!”

The older boy quickly walks over, standing just like Four. “Yeah?”

“Why don’t you take Chris down to eat? Tris will join you both,” Four says making King’s nose scrunch. “What?”

“Don’t forget I sleep here too.” King takes Chris’ hand, looking back just a bit. “Don’t forget I have a bed! That’s my bed!”

“Bye, King!” You laughed as Four grinned, closing the door as his other hand held your waist.

You couldn’t stop smiling, giggling as you stared up at him. “You did that, didn’t you?”

His smile grows, just a bit. “Yeah, I did. Uriah kind of… hinted it to me.”

You hummed. “Good, because I would've done something worse,” you said, slowly stepping back and pushing your hands into his tight black shirt. “I was this close.”

“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?” He asked, smiling as the back of your knees bumps against the bed. His rough hands slip under your shirt, rubbing against your back as though he could feel the black ink you had gotten tattooed.

“Was gonna make her catch us fucking in the corridor,” you giggled as Four slipped off your shirt, humming as he leaned down. “Who said we always have to fuck on the bed? You like that idea?”

He nodded into your shoulder, lips pressing soft kisses to your skin as you started to lean back, his hands securely catching you before you could fall back fully. Carefully, he sets you down, his mouth pressing hot kisses to your neck down your chest. “I fucking love that idea,” he mumbled, his hand slowly rubbing circles against your thigh. “You want to go do that now?”

It was a tempting offer, but you shake your head. “No,” you say, tugging on the hem of his shirt. “You already got me here. Why move?”

He smiled even wider, leaning down as his hands moved to your hips to slowly tug at the tactile pants you wore. “I was thinking,” he whispers as you pull him down to press kisses to his neck. You could see the black peeking out from his shirt, pulling it off of him easily as he pulled away just to slip it off before pulling off your own. “You looked good with Chris on your hip.”

You paused, looking up at him. “You think so?”

He nodded, his hands tugging at your sports bra as your hands dragged down his back. He kneels over your body, pressing kisses down your neck to your chest. “I know so. You’re a natural with kids, angel, you’re fucking perfect.”

The slight husk in his voice made a shiver run up your back, your stomach twisting and heat flooding into your underwear as he lets his hot mouth suck at your lower stomach. “D-Does that mean something?”

He smiled, looking up at you. “Did I just get a Dauntless-born to stutter?”

You blushed madly, looking away. “Don’t let it get to your head, Four.”

He laughs, pressing a kiss to your pelvic bone before he slowly starts to pull your underwear off, his fingers dancing along your thighs as you squirmed, gasping as he pressed a firm kiss to your clit. It makes you squirm, his fingers replacing his lips as he kisses lower and lower.

“F-Fuck,” you whimper as the tip of his fingers slowly prod against your cunt, his mouth sucking and licking around his fingers as your hands push into his hair. “F-Four, you’re being too nice.”

He laughs, pulling away just for a minute as he slowly pushes a thick finger into you, watching as your hips buck into the air and your back arches. “Maybe it’s the Abnegation?”

You shook your head, reaching a hand down to push his fingers deeper into your pussy. It makes you whine, a gasp coming from your lips as he pulls them out just for a second to add another finger. “Abnegation is selfless, my darling, maybe it’s the Amity? J-Just, don’t stop.”

He laughs, popping a kiss to your cunt before pushing his fingers deeper into you, watching as you squirmed. Moans fall from your lips as he pressed firm circles against your clit, the sensitive bud making you whine loudly, hips bucking.

His fingers curl inside of you, pushing his tongue into you with his fingers as you tug on his hair and your other hand finds his cheek.

You felt your stomach twisting, hips bucking uncontrollably as you attempted to ride his fingers. You gasped as his fingers curled inside of you, attempting to find that one soft spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back. It didn’t take him long to find, especially because he’s memorized your body over the years and he groaned as you clenched around him.

“Come on honey, cum for me. Want to watch you cum.”

Your eyes rolled back, whimpering as he pushed his fingers knuckle deep into you to watch your pussy flutter. Your stomach twists, loud groaning falling from your lips as your stomach twists. Your hips buck, eyes rolling back as he sucked on your cunt, swallowing loudly as he pulled out his fingers.

He pulled away, sitting up as he pulled down his pants just enough to pull out his cock, hissing as you raised your legs to wrap around his waist. He grunts as he slowly pushes into you, eyes rolling back as he leaned down to hold himself up with his elbows, pulling you in for a kiss. “Fucking hell, I want to see you with my kids so bad,” he groaned, gasping as you pulled him down for a kiss. “Want to see you pregnant over and over again.”

You whined, his hips moving quickly as the bed pounded into the wall, your nails dragging down his back. His cock rammed into your pussy, strong thrusts making your eyes roll back as he pressed his lips to your neck. “You want that honey? Want to be fucked, round and full with my kids?”

You nodded, whining loudly. “Yes! Yes, I do!”

He grunts loudly, slamming into you just to feel your pussy clench along his entire shaft, a broken moan leaving his lips as you cum again around him. “Fuck.”

“Fuck, fuck! Four!” You yelled out as he reaches down to rub firm circles into your clit, rutting his hips just a few more times as he came inside you for the first time without protection.

It was an odd feeling, but filling as he groaned loudly, your cunt continued to clench around him to milk him of everything he had. It was warm, and if you could feel sticky-ness inside of you, it would be this. You whimper as he starts to pull out, trying to reach forward to pull him back in before he grabs your legs, pushing them back so your knees were on your shoulders.

“You don’t think we’re done yet, do you? Gotta make sure this sticks.”

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© asterias-record-shop

[chloe-skywalker]

Hate This - Eric Coulter

Eric x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 361

Summary: Eric has to tell Y/n some news she’s gonna hate.

Masterlist

Divergent Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“I love you.” Eric said wrapping his arms around her waist.

“What’d you do?” Y/n raised a brow at him in question. It wasn’t normal for him to just come home and say those 3 words. Those words he normally said in more intimate settings.

“I”

When that was all he could get out Y/n turned around to face him with narrowed eyes. “What are you planning?”

“I’m sorry.” Eric apologized in advance and the fact that he was apologizing in advance made Y/n nervous for what he had to say.

“How upset am I gonna be?” She asked him, looking at him with worried eyes.

Eric grimanced at her question as he pulled her to sit on the couch. He grabbed her waist and pulled her down on his lap.

Eric maneuvered her to have one leg on each side of his waist.

“More than I’d like to see.” He said with a disappointed tone. He hated seeing her upset and Eric knew this was going to make her upset.

So with that Eric explained everything that Erudite was planning and how Dauntless was involved. What was going to happen. Everything.

Once he finished Eric waited with bated breath for her reaction, rubbing his thumbs into her hips under her shirt. Hoping to calm her worries.

“Why are you apart of this?” Y/n asked with a quiet hurt tone of voice.

“Y/n-”

“Why? How can you know about this and participate?” Y/n looked at him urgently with a slightly scared look in her eyes that broke his heart.

“I don’t have a choice. And if I said no then I wouldn’t know every detail. That would make it harder to protect you.” Eric moved her hair back and cupped the back of her neck with his right hand.

Eric knew she was divergent and the only way to protect her was to be at the center of it all.

“I hate this.” Y/n stated leaning her head down and rested it on his chest.

Eric wrapped his arms around her pulling her tightly against him, resting his chin on her head. “I know.”

Taglist: @padawancat97

[salstray]

No Vacancy

Eric Coulter x gn!reader fic

less then 1k words (951 if you want to be specific) WARNINGS: angst

No one is safe from progress. No one is safe from Erudite. No one is safe from the mindless Dauntless carrying out commands they can't even hear, but can only feel through the iron claws of the serum forcefully injected into their blood.

No one is safe.

Not even you, Eric's favorite.

--------------------------------------------------

Four was looking out the windows of the Prior home when he saw you.

Tris was upstairs, calling out to her mom and her dad, nothing but silence answering her, but you were out in the street. Dressed in black, a gun in your hand, your eyes blank and face slack. Enthralled by the simulation just like the rest of them.

He’d never admit to anyone how his heart sank at the sight.

Not even you were safe from this. You, Eric’s favorite. His poorly kept secret that all of the Dauntless knew about, but would never speak of. The one he’d sneak off to on lonely nights, the one he’d hunt down in the dark corners of the parties and the gatherings. You, who’d gone through initiation just a year after him and Four. Who’d stolen the black heart of their most ruthless leader yet with your strength, your fearlessness, and your bravery.

You. Injected and shipped off as a mindless puppet of war. Like you were nothing.

Four took a shaky breath, his jaw shifting and clenching at the anger that swelled within him. His head turned as Tris came back down the stairs, telling him her parents weren’t here. No one was. He cast one more glance out towards you just as you turned a corner and vanished from sight. Silently, he pitied you, but he didn’t have the time to show it. Nor did he ever think he’d get the chance to express it face to face.

God knows how you’d feel once you woke up. Once the simulation wore off or was shut down, if he and Tris did what he hoped they could.

------------------------------------------------

Eric rounded the corner, steps light, shoulders loose, only pausing once his eyes landed on you. His prize, his plaything.

His favorite.

You marched on, face empty, hands clenched around your weapon, eyes focused, but not on anything real. His hand came out as you approached and you stopped obediently in place, gaze fixed on something only you could see in the far distance. Behind him, Max stepped forward, sighing and shaking his head.

“No one’s safe, are they?” he asked, almost teasing.

“Not from progress,” Eric admitted. He reached forward, cupping your cheeks in his hands, brushing his thumbs under the circles of your eyes. If you were awake, you’d have smiled. All sweet and sugary. In a way that no one ever had when looking at Eric. He sighed softly when your eyes remained vacant. “You’ll understand though, won’t you?” he asked, now talking to you.

Max scoffed behind him, but Eric’s eyes stayed on yours, the only proof he heard his fellow leader being the slight tick of his jaw.

“Don’t be so sure of that,” Max warned. Finally, Eric turned his sharp, gray eyes on the man behind him, frowning just far enough that Max knew his commentary wasn’t welcome. He scoffed again before shoulder passed both you and the man you called your lover in the past.

“I am sure,” Eric hissed, leaning in to press an uncharacteristically gentle kiss to your forehead. “You’ll understand, won’t you, sweetheart?” His fingers curled across the nap of your neck, his pinkies absentmindedly toying with the collar of your jacket. “This is all for the betterment of the city. Of the factions. A necessary evil, hm? How many times have we talked about those? You always told me you understood why they were important. Doing something bad in the name of the greater good , right? That’s what this is… and you’ll see that once you wake up, babe, I’m sure of it.” He leaned in again, lips barely brushing your crown, his eyes closing just long enough so he could enjoy the warmth of your flesh. The heat under your skin. One that he craved more then water, more then his own breath.

He’d tried to let you be awake for it all. Tried to fight for you to be one of the ones left unstuck, but they hadn’t trusted you enough, the others. Jeanine said you’d be a liability. Max said your loyalty didn’t run as deep as Eric thought it did.

You wouldn’t be happy once you came out of it, but he’d be there. Eric would be there, he’d make sure of it, so he could explain. So he could hold you – just like he was now – and speak the way he did only for you about how necessary it all was. Even if you didn’t understand he would make you… because if you didn’t…

... you had to.

He leaned away, sighing heavily, a noise half trapped in his throat as he let his hands slide down your face, the column of your throat, then back to his sides.

“Go on,” he muttered, taking a single step to the side to let you pass.

You did. Steady as all the rest. Eric sighed again as he turned to catch up with Max, his jaw clenched and brow furrowed.

He hated seeing you like that, though he’d never admit that to anyone.

He would have hated it more to see how your eyes fluttered once he was out of sight. How your breath hitched in your chest, your heart racing, beating against your ribs like a war drum. It would have broke his heart to see the tears that lined your lashes as you turned another corner, pausing just long enough to lean your shoulder against it and press your hand to your mouth to stifle the sob that tried to crawl its way free from between your teeth.

He would have hated to know that the serum didn’t work.

That you were the very thing they were trying to eradicate.

That you were Divergent .

[shujubeelamoglia]

Keiynan Lonsdale

[zelcii]

love me anyway | peter hayes

peter leaned against the wall, his eyes narrowing as he watched you from across the pit. you were laughing with the others, your smile wide and effortless, but something about the glint in your eyes always seemed bittersweet. it was as if the laughter was a mask, hiding the truth of your candor-born honesty that seeped through every gesture and expression. you could never quite hide the truth seeping behind the way you smiled, another layer of your candor-born honesty peeking out from under every facade you put on. not that it could be helped. the truth bled from the very way looked, very words you breathed. 

he loved it. how you were basically an intricate scrapbook, pieced together by every person who had ever touched your life, every place you had ever belonged to, and every passion that had ever stirred your heart. you were a patchwork of experiences, raw and honest, and he couldn’t help but be drawn to the way you carried all of it so transparently, even when you tried to hide.

he had always been a problem. for many people, but especially for you. you were no stranger to peter hayes, growing eerily familiar to his sharp edges and cruel humor as it had been a constant presence in your life. after all, you were born in the same faction, hung around the same groups of people, followed the same set of rules. even more, your mother had never liked him. since the two of you were young he'd seem to constantly be one second away from breaking whatever—or whoever—it was in front of him. you used to think you hated him for his arrogance. for how cruel he could be, his tendency to belittle the people that cared for him.

but then you chose dauntless. with one swift cut of the ordaining knife, it wasn’t just your tender, naive skin that was cut—it was every tie to the life you once knew. suddenly, peter hayes, the only person you’ve ever despised, became the only constant factor in your life. he was the one unchanging thread that connected you to both your past and present. you tried to forget your life from before, how things were. but it was hard to admit that the only person you could blame was yourself for wanting to leave.

"staring again," christina’s voice sliced through your thoughts, jolting you back to the present. you blinked, reluctantly tearing your gaze away from peter, who was leaning casually against a wall. he was like an island of calm amidst the chaos that spread across the dauntless pit, his posture relaxed and his expression unreadable.

"i wasn’t," you insisted, but the words felt hollow even as they left your lips. your candor was a relentless betrayer, with every twitch of your mouth or flicker in your eyes revealing the truth you tried so hard to conceal. christina’s gaze sharpened with amusement, catching the subtle giveaway in your demeanor.

"right. c’mon, candor," she quipped, her voice tinged with playful sarcasm as she nudged you gently with her elbow. "may the truth set you free," she mocked with a smirk, her tone light but knowing. “you’ve got it bad.”

you shook your head, trying to mount a defense. "i don’t," you said, but your protest lacked the firmness you’d hoped for. peter had been the object of your intrigue since you’d met him in summer camp, the boy that used to look at you with such passion. the boy you promised your mother that you’d never even think of talking to. that undeniable truth seeped through the cracks of your words, finding its way into the spaces you desperately tried to guard. still, from across the room, he stared with that familiar passion.

christina’s grin widened, clearly finding amusement in your discomfort. she followed your gaze back to peter, who remained fixed on you with a knowing smirk. it was as if he thrived on every flicker of attention you gave him, the curve of his lips revealing his awareness. he seemed to relish in the fact that you couldn’t tear your eyes away, savoring the way his presence bothered you.

"besides, he’s a total jerk," you said, your voice trailing off as you tried to mask your uncertainty. the effort to convince yourself sounded more like a feeble excuse than a genuine assertion. you fixed your gaze away from peter, forcing yourself to focus on his flaws—his arrogance, the cruel edge in his humor, the narcissism he wielded with such practiced ease. yet, despite your best intentions, all you could think about was his lingering touch and your stolen glances. you failed at every attempt to distance yourself. it was as if he was fully aware of the internal battle you were waging and took a twisted pleasure in it.

you remembered an instance from a few nights ago.

you’d been crying in the communal bathrooms, the cold tiles beneath you doing nothing to ease the burning sensation behind your eyes. it had been a bad day—training had pushed you to your limit, the weight of your decision to leave candor pressed down hard, and the overwhelming newness of dauntless was closing in from all sides.

the tears had come suddenly, without warning, and once they started, you couldn’t stop them. you didn’t want to cry—not here, not in a place where showing weakness was as good as painting a target on your back. but you were alone, or so you thought, and it had been too much to keep inside.

then you heard the door creak open. you immediately wiped your face, hurriedly trying to compose yourself, when you heard his voice.

"didn’t expect to find you here," peter’s voice was low, casual, but there was an edge to it that you couldn’t quite place. you assumed it was taunting.

your first instinct was defensiveness. after years of being taught to hate him, after years of believing he was nothing but cruel and self-serving, you bristled at his presence. you had no idea why he was here, and the last thing you needed was to deal with peter hayes right now.

“go away, peter,” you muttered, not even bothering to look up at him. your voice came out more bitter than you intended, but you couldn’t help it. it was habit. you’d spent years convincing yourself that he was the last person you could rely on. “i don’t wanna talk to you.”

for a moment, he didn’t say anything. you expected him to leave—maybe with a sharp remark, something that would sting, something that would remind you exactly who he was and why you should stay far away from him. but he didn’t. instead, you felt him sit down beside you, close enough for his presence to be known but not close enough to make you uncomfortable.

he didn’t speak. he didn’t tease or push. he just sat there, quiet, waiting.

you didn’t want to give in. you didn’t want to let your guard down around him, of all people. but the longer he stayed, the harder it became to keep your defenses up. the weight of the day, the exhaustion, and the relentless pressure of everything finally caught up with you. you couldn’t hold back anymore.

before you even realized what was happening, you leaned against him. your body moved on instinct, and you pressed your face into his shoulder, the sobs breaking free as the tears fell hot and heavy.

to your surprise, peter didn’t pull away. he didn’t make a comment or a joke at your expense. instead, his arm came up, hesitating for just a second before wrapping around you. his grip was firm, and he pulled you in close—just enough for you to feel the warmth of his body against yours. he didn’t say anything, didn’t try to pry or ask questions. he just stayed there, silent and steady, letting you cry.

it wasn’t what you expected. peter was supposed to be cruel, detached, distant. but in that moment, none of that mattered. he was just there, holding you together when you felt like everything else was falling apart.

you didn’t know how long you stayed like that, your tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt, your body trembling from the release of everything you’d been holding inside. but eventually, the sobs began to subside, and you found yourself breathing a little easier, the storm inside you starting to calm.

you pulled away slightly, just enough to look up at him, your eyes still red and swollen from crying. “why do you do this?” you asked, your voice small and hoarse from the tears. you genuinely didn’t understand. “why do you… why are you here?”

peter’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw something raw, something unguarded in his gaze. then, with a small, almost playful smirk, he shrugged. “don’t know what you mean,” he said, his voice soft but teasing. “you know i love you.”

the words were so simple, so casually said, that they took you by surprise. but there was no sarcasm in his tone, no bite to his words. he was sincere, leaning in close, his breath warm against your ear as if the words were meant to be a secret shared only between the two of you. then, with a sudden rush of either reckless confidence or desperate longing, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss just behind your ear. the tenderness of it sent a shiver down your spine. “let me be here,” he whispered, his voice low and steady, though it carried a note of quiet vulnerability. he was trying to convey reassurance, but the raw emotion in his voice felt closer to a quiet, earnest plea. 

christina said that that was when you started staring. 

you’d seen a side of him you never thought to imagine and you craved for more. but he was peter hayes. he wasn’t supposed to feel anything. not for you, not for anyone. he tried to convince himself that as well as he savoured the feeling of your soft skin on his lips. yet, there he was, aching for something he couldn’t bring himself to ask for. something that made his heart race every time you was near, something that made him want to push you away and pull you closer all at once. your love.

he turned to you then, his hand brushing yours just barely, but it was enough to make his pulse quicken. you locked eyes, and for a second, and suddenly everything else that happened outside of the bathrooms faded away. he could feel your heartbeat in the air between you, the way your breath hitched, the way you wanted him to say something, anything. but he couldn’t. not yet. so he just sat there, his lips twitching into a smirk, masking everything he wasn’t ready to say.

christina’s expression shifted to one of knowing amusement, her eyebrow arching in a way that made it clear she wasn’t buying your story. "yeah, and yet here you are, still thinking about him. denial is just another form of obsession, you know."

"i am not obsessed," you snapped, a little too loudly. you tried to sound more forceful than you felt. but even to your own ears, the argument wore thin. the truth was, no matter how hard you tried to ignore him, peter had managed to engrave himself into your thoughts, lingering at the edge of your consciousness like an itch you couldn’t quite scratch.

christina’s hand landed on your shoulder, the gesture both comforting and teasing. her eyes held a mix of sympathy and amusement, as if she could see right through your carefully constructed facade. "sure, keep telling yourself that," she said, her tone light but tinged with a gentle sincerity. "but pretending isn’t the same as believing."

you didn’t respond, choosing instead to focus on your hands, which were twisting nervously in your lap. christina wasn’t wrong. the tension between you and peter was undeniable, a magnetic force that seemed to vibrate with an intensity everyone could feel when the two of you were near. 

glancing back at peter, you found him still observing you from across the pit. his gaze cut through the chaotic swirl of faces and noise, landing squarely on you with an intensity that felt almost tangible. it wasn’t just a casual glance; it was as if he was deeply engrossed, his eyes soft and thoughtful, carrying an unmistakable trace of what you dared call admiration. the smirk was gone now, replaced by an expression that seemed to reveal more than he usually let on—a look that made your heart flutter against your will. 

you shifted uncomfortably, unable to shake the feeling that his gaze was dissecting every fragment of your carefully guarded emotions. in that moment, the air between you felt charged, filled with something unspoken that neither of you were ready to confront. and even as you tried to look away, his eyes seemed to follow, holding a soft, thoughtful reverence that you found both disconcerting and oddly comforting.

you reminded yourself that, no matter how warm you felt under his gaze or how infatuated you were with him, peter was still peter—the same boy who had mocked your family’s dedication to order and laughed at others’ missteps under the guise of “honesty.” his usual sarcasm and cruelty were just parts of his carefully constructed facade, a shield designed to guard against any real vulnerability.

but the way he treated you was different now in dauntless. there was always a softness in his gaze, a subtle consideration that contrasted with his usual demeanor. it made you question if beneath his cold exterior, there was a part of him that genuinely cared, revealing a side of him that was far less indifferent than he let on. it made you wonder if he wasn’t as cold as he wanted everyone to believe.

regardless, you knew you would never, in every sense of the word, let yourself fall for peter hayes. he was supposed to be a horrible person.

… but on one particularly exhausting night, after another grueling day of training, you tossed and turned in bed, unable to find any solace in sleep. the unfamiliarity of dauntless gnawed at you, and the weight of leaving candor behind seemed to grow heavier with each passing hour. not that you’d ever blatantly admit it, but the new environment was overwhelming. despite your best efforts to adapt, the relentless pressure was starting to crack your composure.

in the dead of night, you awoke with a start, your heart pounding and a deep sense of unease settling over you. you stumbled out of bed, the darkness amplifying your anxiety as you wandered through the dimly lit corridors of dauntless. just as the silence seemed to stretch endlessly, a soft knock broke the stillness, echoing against the cold concrete walls. there, at the end of the hall, stood peter. he stood as tall as ever, but his touch was unexpectedly gentle. his hand brushed lightly against the small of your back, pulling you a bit closer, and the warmth of his skin contrasted sharply with the chill of the night air. 

though your eyes were still heavy with sleep, you could see the rare softness in his gaze, a stark contrast to his usual demeanor. “hey, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low and raspy, but surprisingly soothing. “you okay?”

“just can’t sleep,” you mumbled, rubbing your tired eyes. you could’ve been meaner, you could’ve tried harder to push him away but you convinced yourself you were too tired to. 

even you knew you were lying. 

without a word, he guided you back to the rooms, his hand resting steady and reassuring on your waist. the warmth of his calloused skin against your arm was comforting, sending a shiver through you. your heart ached to lean more of your weight against him, to feel the full press of his body against yours. each touch felt intensely intimate, grounding you in a way that made your heart race. his calm presence was a soothing contrast to the cold, impersonal walls of dauntless.

as he guided you back to the room, his touch so comforting and warm, memories from your younger years resurfaced.

you recalled how, even then, there was a strange tenderness in the way he interacted with you, though he never showed the same kindness towards others. peter was always rough with the other kids, his teasing and taunting often crossing the line into childish cruelty. 

your mother had noticed, warning you to stay away from him, claiming he was a bad influence. she saw the way he bullied others and feared that his harshness would rub off on you. so, you had learned to hate him, to see only his rough edges and disregard his rare moments of gentleness. now, feeling his warmth and seeing the softness in his eyes, those old judgments felt shaky and uncertain. It must’ve been a trick—a game he was playing. but in that moment you couldn’t bring yourself to care, revelling in the way his skin brushed against yours.

as he helped you settle back under the covers, his touch was deliberate and achingly tender, causing a warm flush to spread through you. you wondered how you managed to muster enough hate to stay far enough away from him. the brush of his fingers against your skin, as he tucked the blankets around you, felt both intimate and possessive, sending a shiver of through your body. each contact, from his fingertips grazing your arm to his palm pressing gently on your shoulder, was charged with a longing intensity.

“you need to rest,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, nearly a whisper. his gaze lingered on you with a softness that was rare for him. before he turned to leave, he gently swept a few stray strands of hair from your face, his fingers lingering for a moment longer than necessary. “it’s okay to be overwhelmed, sweetheart. we all are.”

you looked up at him, the tenderness of his touch and the care in his eyes sending a rush of warmth through you that made you slightly breathless. his eyes, usually so sharp, were softened by a rare, gentle affection that made your heart flutter. “thanks, peter. you didn’t have to.”

“yeah? well, i did,” he said, a crooked smile playing at his lips, his eyes twinkling with a touch of mischief. he held your hand in his and refused to let go, like he wasn’t ready to leave. you didn't want him to leave. “deal with it.” his voice was smooth, his tone almost too casual, as if the closeness was natural. as if he wasn’t acting completely out of character. his hand remained lingering by your jaw a moment longer than necessary, his touch longing like a secret between you.

you remembered early in high school, when peter had asked you out to the dance and confessed his feelings, saying he loved you. without hesitation, you’d turned him down, following your mother’s wishes. even then, he didn’t seem upset. instead, he simply promised that you’d end up loving him one day.

at the time, you didn't believe him, dismissing his words as just another piece of the game he constantly played. now, as you felt the warmth of his touch and the gentle care he’d shown, you couldn’t ignore the echoes of that past moment. you were falling for him. despite everything, you were falling for him. 

and after all that time, he was right.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice tired, and raspy, but caring. it summoned butterflies to your stomach. he said it like you were the only girl in the world. suddenly, you felt like you were in middle school again, getting flustered over a boy. your mother would be so disappointed.

“I don’t wanna talk ‘bout it,” you said, though your eyes betrayed you as they stayed locked with him. out of a force of habit you continued, “don’t wanna talk to you.” you didn’t mean it, of course.

he let out a tired, amused laugh before bringing your hand up to press a gentle kiss in the palm of your hand. you melted. “i love you anyway.”

threw 3.5k words on a tumblr post and called it a fanfic </3

[asterias-record-shop]

—𓆩[i’ll kill you]𓆪—

hey anon honey, quick little thing, the ages don’t make sense so reader is 2 years younger than Tobias, initiated into Dauntless and is in training rn but you and Tobias are dating - more explained in the story. — also, this got out of hand, this is like 2.2K words-

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪

You chose Dauntless because Tobias went there, but you never expected it to fit, or how much the rest of the initiates could see you and Four’s relationship.

Tobias came to see you the night before you would be choosing the faction you would spend the rest of your life in. He snuck into your house, especially because you certainly weren’t fitting into Abnegation.

You held back giggles as the Dauntless soldier quickly slipped inside, a smile on his face as he leaned forward to try and kiss you.

“Tobias!” You whisper shouted, thankful that your parents were heavy sleepers as he pressed a firm kiss to your lips, pulling you closer. “What happened? It’s been a while since your last visit.”

“Everyone is so caught up with the ceremony tomorrow, I finally got the chance to escape,” he says, smiling as you lay back on the bed and he quickly straddles your waist. He lets his hands dance along your sides, his mouth pressing kisses to your neck. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”

You giggle, pushing your hands through his hair. “I’ve missed you too.”

“What did your results say?” He asks, his head resting on your collarbone, lips softly pressing into your skin. “You can tell me.”

You paused, thinking about the results you had gotten, ‘Inconclusive’. She told you not to tell anyone, but Four didn’t count, right?

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I’ll go anywhere you go. I can become a guard at Candor, if you stay here I’ll do patrols, if you go to Amity I can become a wall guard-”

“My results were inconclusive.”

He pauses, looking up at you. “What?”

“They were inconclusive,” you repeat, inhaling deeply. “She asked me what faction I planned to go into and put it as my result.”

“And what faction is that, my love?”

“Dauntless,” you whisper, looking down at him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I want to be with you the rest of my life.”

He smiled, lifting himself up with his arms to lean down and press another kiss to your lips. “And I want to be with you, Y/N. I promise, I will never do anything to hurt you.”

You nodded, smiling up at him. “I know.”

The next day, you did choose Dauntless, along with another Abnegation girl named Beatrice. She sat next to you, giving you a slight smile which you immediately returned. “I’m Y/N.”

“Beatrice.”

“I’m aware,” you say with a slight hum, shrugging. “I know everyone in Abnegation. Kind of my job.”

She pauses, staring before gasping. “You’re Y/N! You couldn’t choose when you were supposed to.”

“Right,” you giggle, shrugging. “Now I’m here. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

You both stick together until the train, where you both meet Christina who tilted her head at you. “You seem familiar.”

“My name is Y/N.”

She hummed. “Right, you’re the one who used to know Marcus’ son.”

You pause, but nod. You still knew Marcus’ son, he just escaped and told you not to tell anyone of what happened. You never knew why, mainly because Tobias never told you, but you were hoping it’s because he wants to see his father fall apart on his own accord - mainly because that’s what you wanted.

“They’re jumping,” Christina announces, looking back. “They’re fucking jumping!”

You weren’t surprised, this is something Four told you would happen. You stand, looking out the open door and looking back at them. “Well, you guys ready?”

“Are you sure you were born into the right faction?” Christina asks, scoffing playfully. “You’re not even hesitating.”

“I’m not scared,” you say, shrugging. You had a slight twist at the bottom of your stomach, but it wasn’t fear, maybe excitement? “Let’s go! Or I’m jumping without you guys!”

Beatrice smiles, standing as Christina scoffed. “Alright. Together?”

“Together!”

You all grab each other's hands, you being the first to jump and roll into the gravel covered rooftop. You inhaled deeply as you tuck your head under your arms, your thin gray Abnegation dress bunching up around your waist as you finally stopped rolling and landed on your back. You smiled, laughing as you laid there before Christina stood and held her hand out over your body.

When you stood, Eric was announcing they needed someone to jump. No one was speaking up, so you slowly offered a raised hand. “I’ll do it.”

“Well then, get up here.”

You recognized Eric from when Tobias came around, and you were sure he knew somewhat about your relationship. Slowly, you slipped off your sweater, ignoring the taunting of one of the men before quickly jumping onto the edge. “Today, initiate,” he leans close to your ear, humming. “Your boyfriend will be down there to catch you.”

You glared at him before slowly tipping forward, giggling as your weight finally got caught by gravity and you fell straight down. For a minute, you thought you’d keep falling until you finally hit the net, gasping as you finally fell into it, bouncing before you looked to the side. You smiled widely when you saw Four, quickly crawling to him as he offered his hand.

“Did someone push you, Y/N?” He asks curiously, smiling as you shake your head.

“Mm mm,” you hummed a no, taking his hand as he helped you out of the net. “Just thought about seeing you.”

“Well then,” he smiles. “First jumper, Y/N!”

Dauntless was different, and to be honest, you were liking it before you were shown the dorms. “If you like this, You’re going to love the bathrooms. There’s clothes on the cots, Y/N,” he looks at you, humming. “You’re coming with me.”

Your nose scrunches in confusion, looking back at Christina and Tris who stared at you. “Wh-Why-?”

“Y/N,” his voice is more stern, a raise of his brow making you inhale deeply before grabbing your clothes. “Come with me.”

You quickly walk after him, inhaling as he leads you down the hall before he signals you to come to his side. “To- Four. Four, where are we going?”

“You can call me by my real name, Y/N,” he smiled, his hand slowly pushing into yours and pulling you down the corridor. “I like it when you say my real name.”

You giggled, holding his head as he pulled you closer to him, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. He was never really one for pet names or terms of endearment, but he always made up for it in actions. “Where are we going?”

“To my room. Our room,” he corrects, shrugging. “I pulled some strings and you can stay with me. For the rest of your training and life, our life.”

You gasped as he pulled you closer to him, his hand pulling your body close to his as you hummed against his lips, stroking his hair. His hands hold your hips, grunting softly as he pressed you harder against the wall, his fingers bunching up your dress before someone clears their throat, laughing. “You got a stiff as a girlfriend, Four, I didn’t expect that.”

Four pulled away, glaring at Eric as he pulled your face into his chest. “Fuck off, Eric.”

“Well, the stiff doesn’t look that stiff anymore,” Eric leaned against the wall as you attempted to cover your face in embarrassment. “Does she? She staying with you, hm? Don’t think that’s fair to other tributes… or instructors.”

“You better choose your next words fucking wisely, Eric,” Four pushed you behind him, shoving the other Dauntless male. “I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Four,” you whispered, tugging on his shirt. “Please, take me to our room, I want to leave.”

He looked back, cursing under his breath before shoving his finger into Eric’s chest. “Fuck with her I’ll fucking kill you.”

He pushed you back, slowly turning around before guiding you down the corridor. “See you both later!”

It didn’t take you both long to get up to his room, watching as you changed in front of him. He stared at your form, your body not foreign, but the need to memorize was filling his head. He stared at your body, the curves of your torso and your hips, eyes staring at your beautiful body.

“Look good?” You giggle, spinning in the leather pants and tight black shirt. “I like it.”

“You look perfect in it,” Four stands, walking towards you and pressing a firm kiss to your lips. “Do you want to go eat?”

You pause, then shake your head. “I’m not very hungry.”

“You want me to bring you back food?” He offered, smiling when you nodded. “Okay. Get some sleep.”

You nodded, leaning up for a kiss as he slowly pushed your hair back. “I love you, Tobi.”

“I love you too, honey.”

During training, you were certainly doing better than anyone would’ve thought, and maybe that was the problem. “Maybe our little stiff is sucking off Four to get some more points,” Peter says, laughing as Will snorted. You didn’t miss the slight giggle falling from Christina’s mouth, but Tris looked shocked.

“Why would-”

“Oh, the other stiff doesn’t know!” Peter stood up straight, walking towards you. “Y/N here is in a… relationship with Four. Or is it just a fuck buddy thing, because if you’re sucking him off, that means you can do the same for me? Hm?”

It was a split decision to punch him, taking great pleasure in the way he groaned and quickly held his nose before smashing your elbow in between his eyes and kicking him in the shin to watch him crumble to the ground. Your hand grabbed the back of his head, slamming it into your knee before Christina tries to step forward. “Y/N, calm down-!”

“You’re thinking the same thing, aren’t you?” You let Peter fall forward, shoving her. “All of you are!”

She scoffed, but didn't fight back knowing you damn well would beat her. “What else do you expect us to think, huh?! Just because you’re doing so well in physicals, you’ve passed up fucking Dauntless borns!”

“But no one is questioning Tris? Why not, why is it just me?!”

“Because you’re fucking a damn instructor!”

“Fuck you, Christina!” You clenched your fist, holding back from shoving her as you groaned. “Fuck all of you!”

You left in a hurry, storming up to Four’s room and screaming out in frustration. You were glad that he wasn’t here as you kicked everything in sight, shoving the walls as though they’d move.

“Y/N, what the hell happened?” Four asks as he came inside, your naked form covered with his thin blankets as you hugged his pillow. “Y/N? What's wrong?”

“Am I… is the only reason why I’m high in the ranks because I’m fucking you?” You whisper, the word already making you wet. You had already gotten off a few times against Four’s pillow that you hugged tightly, mainly because you stripped and being surrounded by everything that belonged to him was such a turn on.

“What? The fuck are you talking about, did someone say something?” He was walking towards you as you tighten the blanket around your body, watching as he paused. “Someone said something, didn’t they?”

You inhale shakily, nodding as he slowly pulls the covers off of you, humming when he sees the wet patch on his pillow. “I… I love you, I love you Four, but I'm doing… Am I doing good?”

He nodded, pulling off his shirt and kicking off his shoes, slowly pulling your legs apart. “You’re doing so fucking good, honey. Perfect, everyone thinks so, and what you did to Peter just proved it. I think… I think that I should give you something to celebrate how good you're doing.”

You smiled, biting your lip with a nod. “Yes… yes, I think I should be praised. I want you to… show me how good you think I’m doing.”

He laughs, leaning down to press a firm kiss to your lips and letting your hands tug at his pants. “You think I’m lying to you? I could’ve gone to Candor, darling, I would never lie to you. I think you’re doing great,” he hummed as he let his fingers push into you, a gasp falling from your lips as his two thick fingers slid into your pussy easily. “Fuck, you already fucked yourself? How many times did you cum?”

“Th-Three times,” you whisper, whimpering as he twists his fingers inside of you and flexes them. “Thinking about you, Tobias. Thinking about your cock fucking me.”

He groaned, humming as you slowly gripped his cock, pumping his already hard length. Four smiled, hissing softly as you pulled his tip to your entrance, bucking your hips. “You want me to fuck you? Hm?”

You nodded mindlessly, eyes rolling back as he slowly pushed into you, groaning. “Fuck, fuck Tobias!”

He groans into your neck, sucking hickies onto your skin, his girth making your legs spread wider in an attempt to make your cunt suck him in faster. You whined loudly, attempting to make him push deeper as he laughs. “You’re that desperate? After three orgasms, you still want my cock? Fuck, I like seeing you like this. I love seeing you like this, I think it would be fucking amazing if I came home every day and you’re fucking yourself thinking about me. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded, your mind focusing on his cock ramming into you, eyes rolling back and head thrown into the pillows as your hands held his shoulders. “Yes! Yes, I can! I can, I can!”

He groaned loudly, his cock finally bottoming out as he panted above you. “I’ll show you how good you’re doing, honey, because you’re so, so good.” 

Regular taglist: 𓆩[@lem0ns77]𓆪   𓆩[@cecepop15]𓆪   𓆩[@memeorydotcom]𓆪   𓆩[@your-favorite-god]𓆪   𓆩[@xyzstar]𓆪  𓆩[@just-my-shit]𓆪   𓆩[@your-mom21]𓆪   𓆩[@c78r]𓆪   𓆩[@dizscreams]𓆪   𓆩[@asrt5]𓆪

© asterias-record-shop

[chloe-skywalker]

Thank You - Eric Coulter

Eric x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 237

Summary: Can Y/n convince Eric to let her have something she really wants to keep?

Masterlist

Divergent Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“What is that doing in my apartment?” Eric asked as he turned around after hearing the door unlock and open then close again. But as soon as he turned around he saw his girl standing there holding a puppy in her arms.

“Its our apartment.” Y/n pointed out as she rocked the puppy in her arms, ignoring his glare at the fluffy puppy in her arms.

“Y/n” Eric narrowed his eyes at her.

“I found him alone and abandon. He was starving and crying. I couldn't leave him.” Y/n sighed and gave him her best puppy dog eyes.

Eric watched her and a thought came to mind that made him smirk. So he walked over to and decided to poke some fun at his girl. “Your Amity is showing.”

“Shut up.” Y/n grumbled rolling her eyes at him before turning her attention back on the puppy.

Eric watched her interact with the baby dog before he came to the conclusion he knew was coming. “You're gonna keep him no matter what I say. Aren’t you?”

Eric sighed, narrowing his eyes playfully. He knew he couldn’t say no to what she wanted. “Fine.”

With Eric agreeing Y/n squeezed kissing him all over his cheeks.

“Thank you. I’ll thank you properly later.” Y/n winked at him in a very suggestive way. Which earned a growl from him and Y/n smirked in return.

taglist: @padawancat97

[jetblack4realz]

forgiveness - peter hayes x reader

summary - after a lifetime of letdowns from peter, you're unsuspecting of new loyalties

warnings - nah he's just a douche as per usual

word count - 3.6k

______________________________________________________________

peter hayes was no stranger to you.

you'd grown up together in candor, continued into dauntless, and went on the run to amity with tris, four, and caleb. in every one of those situations, peter was always on the wrong side.

so why didn't you expect it?

because every time you got thrown together by whoever it was pulling the strings of fate, he made impressive efforts to win you back. he was convincing and he was dedicated, and you loved him for it.

"hey beautiful," he mumbled, arms wrapping around your torso from behind. a small gasp slipped from your lips as you turned your head to see him. he pressed a kiss to your neck and you smiled.

"what are you doing, peter?" you asked with a small laugh, trying to push his arms away but he refused, instead pulling you closer into him.

"just missed you," he answered, pressing another kiss to the skin beneath your ear.

"are you off for the night or do you have more shifts?" you asked, the boy finally letting you turn around in his arms. you hated pda in the hallway, but something about him made you more inclined to let it happen. that and you hadn't seen a single person on this side of the compound on your way back to your apartment.

"i'm off," he answered, smiling down at you. "you?"

"free as can be," you told him, hands on his biceps.

"perfect," he mumbled with a smirk, leaning down to press his lips gently to yours. you obliged, kissing back with a soft smile at the care he took while kissing you. he pulled away. "can i stay with you tonight?"

you laughed. "when do you not?"

he grinned, keeping one arm around you as he began pulling you back to your place, pressing another kiss to your forehead.

"you're clingy, peter," you told the boy as he fished his spare key from his pocket and unlocked the door, letting you and himself in. he shut the door, locking it again, and immediately wrapping you up in his arms. your hands rested comfortably against his torso, smiling up at him. "i love it."

"i know," he grinned, winking at you as he leaned down to kiss you again.

he made it so easy to just believe him. it was easier to trust him again, you thought. he wouldn't do it again, so just trust him. he wouldn't do anything to hurt you - he would never. not again.

tris had made a point of using peter to get to the control room and you were left in charge of watching him as she found a way in.

he called your name three times before you finally turned, eyes set in disdain.

"you're helping them? seriously?" you asked him.

"they're the ones with the power, the ones who control the ladder i need to climb," he answered, a huff in his breath.

"and you think this is the way you're gonna do it? by helping them destroy abnegation?"

"if it needs to be done, then yes."

"and you seriously don't care that people are dying, that our friends are the ones killing them?"

he didn't answer you.

you walked away, eyes in the direction of the control room listening for any signs that tris might be in trouble. you heard a lot of movement and suddenly yells of fear and you were moving. but before you could even exit the alcove you'd hidden in, two arms wrapped around you and pulled you back in.

"get off of me!" you yelled, slamming your heel into his foot. he grunted, his grip loosening enough for you to pull forward. but he was quick, hand on your bicep as he ripped you back, the force enough to knock you to the ground. your gun clattered to the floor, both of you lunging for it.

unfortunately for you, it'd knocked closer to him. he grabbed it, turning on you quickly, the barrel at your face.

your expression was stone cold as you just watched him. "so, this is where we're at, huh?"

"i guess so," he answered. "i can't have you helping her more than you already have."

"why? so jeanine can have more power? that doesn't help you, peter, there's nothing in it for you," you told him.

"more than if tris and four finish whatever it is they've started," he said.

your eyes stayed locked as you found your feet underneath you, peter copying your every move until you were both standing again. you took a step back towards the hallway.

"you won't shoot me," you stated as though it were a cold hard fact. "you can't."

it all happened in a blur - you turned on your heel, ready to run towards where you could hear fighting taking place, when suddenly a burning went through the flesh of your tricep. you cried out, hand coming to grasp at the bloody flesh. you turned to peter with wide eyes. the bullet had just grazed your arm and you knew it was intentional, but you also knew it was a warning. he would shoot you. and he didn't look regretful about it.

you convinced yourself that he was doing it for you. it's what he told you, what he showed you in his actions post-fight, and it was the only idea that kept you from breaking down in the medical wing of amity, in your old room in candor, at dauntless, and in the barracks at o'hare airport.

"i'm sorry." you were surprised when he spoke up, just the two of you in the small medical room in amity. his arm was wrapped and bandaged just like your own and you were being kept for observation. your trek to amity through the forests and fields surrounding chicago weren't exactly clean, and neither were your wounds. fearing infection, you were confined to a room with peter for 3 days.

"thanks." the word held little to no meaning for the both of you and little to no emotion.

"i mean it. what i did - it was to protect you. i didn't know what was happening in there and i... i couldn't lose you."

"so, you shot me instead?" you asked, finally looking over at him from your place on your bed. "you could've come with me if you were so worried. made sure i was safe by helping me help tris and four."

"i never could've ensured your safety, not with dozens of dauntless around all with the mission to protect the woman you were trying to kill," he said, a furrow forming between his brows.

"we're dauntless too," you said, emphasizing each word individually. "we're supposed to be brave. one hell of a dauntless you are."

a cold silence passed over you both and you huffed, rolling onto your side away from him. you could feel his eyes on your back and you silently willed him away.

"i'm sorry. you're right, i was scared. i wasn't willing to risk your life for the stiff's or four's - they're not worth it."

the way he said it - so soft and thoughtful - made you want to believe him. and when his voice came through again, gentle and almost timid, you did. "can i stay with you?"

you rolled over, looking at him with an unimpressed roll of your eyes, but failing to hide a small smile. he slowly pulled the sheet back and rose to his feet, crossing to your bedside. he smirked slightly, offering you a small shrug as two of his fingers brushed your hair out of your face.

"old habits die hard," he told you. you watched him for a few more moments before sighing dramatically and turning onto your back, moving slightly to the side to let him in. he was quick to slide in next to you as his smirk grew, his arm snaking under your back as you turned into him, resting your injured arm on his chest gently. he held that hand close to him, pressing a kiss to your head. "thank you, beautiful."

he knew every part of you and knew exactly how to get back into your good graces. and every time you let it happen because, well, you loved the boy. more than you wanted to admit.

and every time he let you down, every time he betrayed you and your friends and your beliefs and your core freedoms, you felt a slow burning in your core and a piercing pain behind your eyes as you tried to resist the angry tears from being made out to be a fool. again.

it became harder and harder to keep loving him and it scared you more than you cared to admit. you'd been in love with peter hayes since you were twelve years old, it was an old, aching, exciting feeling you'd grown to rely on. even through changing friends, factions, and governments, you always knew that you would love peter hayes.

almost.

you weren't surprised when you stormed into erudite headquarters to save tris and peter was there. he was bloodied and bruised and helping four off the floor. from what you'd seen, he was on your side and helped save tris before you were able to.

but given the black and blue uniform he was wearing, you knew he hadn't started that way.

he grinned widely when he saw you, crossing quickly to you as evelyn and the others restrained jeanine and her men. christina had made her way to tris, throwing her arms around her best friend, and everyone had begun to clear erudite out. his arms were around you before you could even think about stepping away, his usual smirk pulling at his lips.

"hey beautiful," he said. "miss me?"

you looked around the room, at the dangling wires and remaining screens with images of detailed suicide bots and a list of the people to infect them with. there were files about tris and the box she was supposed to open, the different factions' trials. and it all hit you at once as you looked back at the boy in front of you.

"this was all you, wasn't it?" you said quietly. "you... you had the idea for the suicide virus. because you know tris. and you helped them torture her and nearly kill her for... for what? for status?"

"baby..." he mumbled, but you were already shaking your head, pushing him away.

"no, no you left again. you joined them again, you left me again," you said, trying to keep your volume down to avoid catching the attention of the others, but you already had. tris, christina, and four were watching you both intently, four positioned in such a way you were sure he was ready to jump peter.

peter stepped towards you, mouth open to defend himself, but you shook your head. there was a glare on your face, but what hurt the most was the glint of pain in your eyes as they reddened and began to get glossy. you blinked quickly as you stepped further away.

"don't," you spat. "i don't wanna hear it."

he always had impressive defense, defenses that always had something to do with you, your safety, or your future. it was the last one that usually got you, a promise of a life with him a lot more appealing than continuing to fight over his carefully placed words and actions committed for the dauntless leaders in efforts to climb the ranks. but, now it just pissed you off even more.

"i didn't think they would win, you have to admit it's not likely, and i was trying to secure a position, secure us a position to be able to do well when jeanine came to power!" he defended. he'd followed you back to your abandoned apartment that you'd begun to occupy once more, pleading his case.

"you didn't even try to help! you didn't know who was going to win," you shouted with an exasperated laugh.

"it's honestly a shock that it was anyone but jeanine," he told you. "she had everything set up, it seemed the better situation."

"she didn't care about you peter! she didn't care! she was a tyrant, only searching for power and taking it from people like us, including you," you spat. "you left, seeking something i have no interest in, and claim it's for us, for me. i don't want it, peter. and i don't want you here. get out."

he hadn't been able to get enough alone time to convince your forgiveness yet. you were preoccupying yourself with everything you could - helping four wrangle his mother, helping tris come up with a plan to escape, and eventually helping everyone carry out said plan.

you were beyond pissed when you joined them in the car after carrying out last-minute transfer papers with christina and you found peter sitting in the backseat with caleb.

"what is he doing here?" you asked, eyes flashing to four with a huff.

"he threatened to turn us in," tris answered quickly, glancing back at the boy. "get in."

christina, the good friend she is, sat herself between you and him. unfortunately, the ride wasn't that long, and you soon had to climb a wall - with peter at you side trying his darnedest to talk to you.

"look baby, i'm sorry," he said as you neared the top of the wall, turning to pull himself up and holding a hand out to you. you pushed it away as you stood, unhooking your anchor and rehooking it around a nearer pole as you readied to drop to the other side.

"shut up, peter."

tris and four were dealing with your tricky border patrol situation, giving you just enough time to ensure everyone's anchors were set up same as yours.

"please, i'm trying here-"

"now is not the time," you said with a pointed look.

"just, please-"

"shut up, peter!" you yelled, ducking quickly as shots were fired in your direction.

you were baffled at how many emotions you associated with him now. you were never really sure which emotion you were feeling; love, hate, annoyance, fondness, care, disdain, or hope - but you were feeling it. you felt it all.

you weren't really good at sleeping anymore. you weren't sure if it was because of everything you'd been through or simply how fast your brain was moving as if it were intent on keeping you from falling asleep - but whatever it was, it was costing you energy and what was supposed to be a problem-less bliss away from the turmoil of your world. away from peter.

you turned over in your bed again, finally giving up with a sigh. you stood, wiping your eyes clear of whatever drowsiness had consumed them and beginning your now routine walk around the used-to-be airport.

your hands stayed in the pockets of your sweats as you walked through the halls, breathing in the not-so-fresh air. it was funny being here, so different from chicago and simultaneously comforting and discomforting.

like the figure that was following you.

he'd joined your side wordlessly every night since you arrived, making the first correct decision in searching for your forgiveness since he'd betrayed you in chicago.

finally, you let a soft smile slip onto your lips, stuffing your hands further into your pockets. "hi peter."

he was surprised you acknowledged him, looking at you with such in his eyes. "uh, hi."

"so, can you not sleep either or do you stay up just to walk with me?" you asked the question that'd been bothering you since he began doing so. he smiled sheepishly, offering you a small shrug.

"can it be a bit of both?" he asked.

"i guess," you nodded. the two of you walked in silence again for a few moments before you raised your voice again. "why do you do it?"

this caught him off guard. he wanted to ask 'what?' but he knew the answer. he indulged you, sighing. "i'm selfish. i want the power."

"and you sacrifice everything and everyone even for the chance of it."

"yeah," he confirmed, his head hanging as he watched his feet. his tone dropped to a regretful level. "yeah."

"i don't know why you're hardwired to act this way, who taught you that power was the end-all, but i want to ask you something and i want you to think hard about it," you told him, looking at him with the most genuine, serious expression he'd seen from you, your brows raised and lips pursed.

"alright," he agreed with a nod.

"what do you want? really? and don't let your brain do the talking, we know it's fucked up, so just listen to how you feel. what do you want?"

he wanted to laugh at your insult, but he knew now wasn't the time. and so instead, he thought. for a long time.

you were content walking in silence next to him again as you rounded the corner to the cafeteria and continued your loop to the barracks.

every so often, his eyes would travel to you and settle there for a good while, analyzing every aspect of your features and meeting your eye once or twice.

he called your name gently when you were just a few minutes away from the barracks, his feet stopping as he looked up to watch you completely. you halted as well, turning slightly to look at him.

"yeah?" you asked. he stepped towards you, eyes falling to the floor for a few moments as he collected his thoughts fully. they returned to yours as he stood only a step or two away from you.

"i know what i want," he told you surely.

"and what is that, peter?" you asked.

"to be happy." it was a simple enough answer, one that seemed obvious to anyone else. but, for some reason, it brought a sad smile to your lips.

as he stood in front of you, you realized that for the first time in a long time he wasn't holding his shoulders perfectly square, or pulling his lips into a confident smirk, crossing his arms over his chest, or setting his jaw into a stone-like state. instead, his feet were slightly too close together, leaving his hip jutting out and his shoulders were sagging, his hands lazily at his sides and his mouth relaxed into an uncaring line.

"i want to be happy," he said again and his voice wavered slightly as he did so.

you don't know what came over you, but you threw yourself into his arms, his head tucking into your neck as he clung to your torso tightly. you held his head, fingers raking through his curls soothingly. you felt his eyelashes against your skin and something wet dripping off them as he blinked, causing your heart to clench and you to pull him tighter to you.

"i just want to be happy." his words buzzed on your skin and you nodded, pulling away from him slowly. you kept him close, hands on his cheeks as your thumbs wiped away tears. his hands gripped your wrists tightly, his bottom lip tucked under the top one as he twitched, a sob trapped behind his teeth.

you smiled softly at him. "i know."

"and that has nothing to do with power," he told you quickly, as though if he were to wait any longer he wouldn't be able to say it at all. "i've never been happy with it, but i've always thought it's what i - what i needed. but, i needed you. whenever i left i thought about you and when i came back i needed you near me. the only times i've ever felt what i imagine joy is like is when i'm with you, but i've only ever let you down."

he paused, seemingly to catch his breath, for a few moments, eyes closing momentarily. you attempted to shush him gently to avoid the painful words you knew were coming, but he continued anyways.

"i don't deserve forgiveness. i know that. but please," he breathed out. "if there's any way you could forgive me, i swear to you i'll never leave your side. i'm yours, please baby."

a small, sad smile pulled at your lips as your thumb ran over his damp cheekbone. "you scare me, peter. i don't know if i can trust you." you had to be honest, and he knew that. he appreciated it. but you could see in his eyes that it hurt anyways. "but, i've never been able to not love you. and i've never been able to keep you out of my life for long."

you wrapped your arms around his neck, the boy pulling you quickly towards him, arms wound tightly around your middle. you kissed his neck, hugging him closely. "i forgive you, peter."

if his grip could get any tighter, it did, before he pulled away, his face awfully close to yours.

"i love you so much," he told you, hand cupping your jaw as he captured your lips in his for a long-awaited kiss. it was slightly salty and more emotional than most of your other kisses, but it was equally as passionate. as you parted, he breathed deeply, pressing several kisses to your forehead and top of your hair as he pulled you back into his chest. "thank you, beautiful girl."