#carol wants nothing to do with him guillian is off running the whale institute
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The final frontier novelization is very interesting, the book touches a little more on Kirk's thoughts and how is grief is causing him to do things that are very dangerous (in an effort to NOT think) and its scaring bones
Which makes the convo they have with sybok more interesting - sybok is basically using therapy as a manipulation tactic to get people to follow him unconditionally. He may not mean it maliciously but it still is indeed a kind of brainwashing
Kirk looking at the possibility of therapy and trying to face the pain he's experiencing and he badically says "fuuuuck that my pain is what makes me who I am and I don't know where I'd be without it" which is so fucking sad!!! He's gone through so much loss and agony that he defines himself with it, which doesn't sound healthy at all
#if sybok's therapy came without the brainwashing i like to think spock and bones might actaully have FORCED him into counselling lmao#my man has a dead brother dead father possibly dead mom by this point#hes lost his son after JUST learning that he has one#carol wants nothing to do with him guillian is off running the whale institute#his love the lady enterprise went up in flames and the new enterprise-A is only half working#so much trauma on top of everything else im really not surprised kirk feels defined by his pain#which is the very person whoneeds therapy the most lil#lol*
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