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"Epic Majesty: John Milton's 'Paradise Lost' and the Theological Tapestry of the Human Condition"
John Milton's "Paradise Lost" stands as an unparalleled epic that delves into the cosmic realms of theology, morality, and the human experience. Published in 1667, this monumental work continues to resonate across centuries, offering readers an expansive canvas upon which the grand tapestry of creation, rebellion, and redemption unfolds. The title itself evokes the poignant irony of a paradise lost and the intricate theological explorations that define Milton's magnum opus.
The narrative centers on the biblical tale of the Fall of Man, tracing the events from Satan's rebellion in Heaven to Adam and Eve's expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Milton's blank verse is a majestic river of language, a flowing current that navigates through the celestial and terrestrial landscapes with a divine eloquence. The poetic richness and rhythmic cadence of Milton's verses contribute to the epic grandeur of the work, elevating it to the status of one of the greatest literary achievements in the English language.
At the heart of "Paradise Lost" lies the enigmatic figure of Satan, a rebellious angel whose defiance of God sets in motion the cosmic drama. Milton's portrayal of Satan is complex and multifaceted, challenging readers to grapple with questions of free will, pride, and the nature of evil. The character of Satan becomes a tragic figure, a charismatic and flawed entity whose rebellion is fueled by a misguided sense of autonomy.
Milton's exploration of Adam and Eve, the first human couple, adds another layer to the theological discourse. Their innocence, fallibility, and subsequent expulsion from Eden become symbolic of the broader human experience—caught between the desire for knowledge and the consequences of disobedience. The interplay between free will, temptation, and the inevitability of divine judgment forms the thematic backbone of the narrative.
"Paradise Lost" also engages with profound theological questions, reflecting Milton's own Puritan convictions and his dissent against the hierarchical structure of the Church of England. The work contemplates the nature of God, the problem of evil, and the redemptive power of divine grace. Milton's theological stance, however, remains dynamic, allowing for diverse interpretations and sparking scholarly debates on the nuances of his religious beliefs.
The epic's enduring appeal lies not only in its theological depth but also in its universal themes that transcend religious boundaries. Milton's exploration of the human condition—its aspirations, flaws, and the perennial struggle between good and evil—resonates with readers across cultures and time periods. "Paradise Lost" serves as a testament to the enduring power of literature to grapple with fundamental questions of existence.
In conclusion, John Milton's "Paradise Lost" is a literary colossus that stands at the intersection of theology, philosophy, and literature. The title encapsulates the essence of the narrative—an epic portrayal of the cosmic struggle between divine order and human agency. Milton's poetic brilliance and profound exploration of theological themes ensure that "Paradise Lost" remains an ever-relevant masterpiece that invites readers to ponder the complexities of the human condition and the timeless quest for meaning in a world marked by both paradise and loss.
John Milton's "Paradise Lost" is available in Amazon in paperback 16.99$ and hardcover 24.99$ editions.
Number of pages: 469
Language: English
Rating: 9/10
Link of the book!
Review By: King's Cat
#John Milton#Paradise Lost#The Fall of Man#Theological epic#Biblical narrative#Cosmic drama#Blank verse#Grand tapestry#Creation#Rebellion#Redemption#Biblical tale#Satan#Divine eloquence#Epic grandeur#Literary achievement#English language#Free will#Pride#Nature of evil#Tragic figure#Charismatic#Flawed#Autonomy#Adam and Eve#Garden of Eden#First human couple#Human experience#Desire for knowledge#Consequences of disobedience
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"Epic Majesty: John Milton's 'Paradise Lost' and the Theological Tapestry of the Human Condition"
John Milton's "Paradise Lost" stands as an unparalleled epic that delves into the cosmic realms of theology, morality, and the human experience. Published in 1667, this monumental work continues to resonate across centuries, offering readers an expansive canvas upon which the grand tapestry of creation, rebellion, and redemption unfolds. The title itself evokes the poignant irony of a paradise lost and the intricate theological explorations that define Milton's magnum opus.
The narrative centers on the biblical tale of the Fall of Man, tracing the events from Satan's rebellion in Heaven to Adam and Eve's expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Milton's blank verse is a majestic river of language, a flowing current that navigates through the celestial and terrestrial landscapes with a divine eloquence. The poetic richness and rhythmic cadence of Milton's verses contribute to the epic grandeur of the work, elevating it to the status of one of the greatest literary achievements in the English language.
At the heart of "Paradise Lost" lies the enigmatic figure of Satan, a rebellious angel whose defiance of God sets in motion the cosmic drama. Milton's portrayal of Satan is complex and multifaceted, challenging readers to grapple with questions of free will, pride, and the nature of evil. The character of Satan becomes a tragic figure, a charismatic and flawed entity whose rebellion is fueled by a misguided sense of autonomy.
Milton's exploration of Adam and Eve, the first human couple, adds another layer to the theological discourse. Their innocence, fallibility, and subsequent expulsion from Eden become symbolic of the broader human experience—caught between the desire for knowledge and the consequences of disobedience. The interplay between free will, temptation, and the inevitability of divine judgment forms the thematic backbone of the narrative.
"Paradise Lost" also engages with profound theological questions, reflecting Milton's own Puritan convictions and his dissent against the hierarchical structure of the Church of England. The work contemplates the nature of God, the problem of evil, and the redemptive power of divine grace. Milton's theological stance, however, remains dynamic, allowing for diverse interpretations and sparking scholarly debates on the nuances of his religious beliefs.
The epic's enduring appeal lies not only in its theological depth but also in its universal themes that transcend religious boundaries. Milton's exploration of the human condition—its aspirations, flaws, and the perennial struggle between good and evil—resonates with readers across cultures and time periods. "Paradise Lost" serves as a testament to the enduring power of literature to grapple with fundamental questions of existence.
In conclusion, John Milton's "Paradise Lost" is a literary colossus that stands at the intersection of theology, philosophy, and literature. The title encapsulates the essence of the narrative—an epic portrayal of the cosmic struggle between divine order and human agency. Milton's poetic brilliance and profound exploration of theological themes ensure that "Paradise Lost" remains an ever-relevant masterpiece that invites readers to ponder the complexities of the human condition and the timeless quest for meaning in a world marked by both paradise and loss.
John Milton's "Paradise Lost" is available in Amazon in paperback 16.99$ and hardcover 24.99$ editions.
Number of pages: 469
Language: English
Rating: 9/10
Link of the book!
Review By: King's Cat
#John Milton#Paradise Lost#The Fall of Man#Theological epic#Biblical narrative#Cosmic drama#Blank verse#Grand tapestry#Creation#Rebellion#Redemption#Biblical tale#Satan#Divine eloquence#Epic grandeur#Literary achievement#English language#Free will#Pride#Nature of evil#Tragic figure#Charismatic#Flawed#Autonomy#Adam and Eve#Garden of Eden#First human couple#Human experience#Desire for knowledge#Consequences of disobedience
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"But there is a clarity about September. On clear days, the sun seems brighter, the sky more blue, the white clouds take on marvelous shapes; the moon is a wonderful apparition, rising gold, cooling to silver; and the stars are so big."
– Faith Baldwin, Evening Star
#finally it's September#last few days of August didn't go so quickly for me but rest the August literally give me so many happy thingss and memorieshaha#i hope you achieve what you want in this month and everything works out for youu#light academia#excerpts#fragments#poetry#books & libraries#romanticism#spilled thoughts#words#September#new month#september month#literary quotes#quotations
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The library "request" option has given me too much power. BRING ME THE BOOKS! BRING ME MORE BOOKS! I WILL HOARD THEM* LIKE A BOOK DRAGON! MORE BOOKS! MORE!
*before returning them on or before the date shown
#public libraries#books#reading#They do charge 50p per request which is dangerous#because one book is fine but next thing you know you've requested 100 books and that's £50 and you have to carry them home#(not all of them because you can only take out 10 at a time)#the slope it is slippery#but I kind of want the library to have my money#if I give them more money they can bring me more free books#If I could give them a higher percentage of my tax I would#but alas I do not set that#so I will feed the library beast 50p at a time in tribute#and so it will feed me with books#Literary symbiosis has been achieved
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"If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.”
Lao Tzu "Tao Te Ching”
#aesthetic#dark academia#books and reading#academia#books#book quotes#dark academia quotes#bookblr#relatable#booklover#change#quote of the day#literary#literature#philosophy#Lao Tzu#Tao Te Ching#reflections#achievement
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It’s here it’s here it’s finally here! The issue of Paterson Literary Review with my poem that received an Editor’s Choice commendation in the 2023 Allen Ginsberg Awards is here! I’m looking forward to reading the whole thing, and I’m especially excited to be in a magazine with the likes of Martín Espada and Jan Beatty, plus a review of a book by my good friend Sean Thomas Dougherty.
#poetry#lit mag#allen ginsberg awards#paterson literary review#my writing#santa muerte i ask you to remember#my photos#i will post the entire poem eventually but y’all!#this is one of the greatest achievements of my writing career#and one of the best things i’ve ever written imo
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It’s the small things about OSC’s prose in EG that makes it so compelling… Just look at this excerpt here:
It’s a chunk of dialogue. With three speaking characters, dialogue tags are imperative to keep the reader up to speed on who’s talking. OSC can’t omit them as he likes to do in two-person conversations. He must repeat tags; constant repetition would make the ‘invisible’ dialogue tag extremely visible, yet using varied tags would impede the flow of the conversation.
So he places the tag first when Peter talks, and last when Ender and Val talk. This structure subtly but convincingly separates the three of them onto their respective “sides.” It also creates the subtle variety that this dialogue interaction needs for the tags to stay invisible.
Not to mention, Peter has been the more talkative one, echoing the degree of control he has in this scene—and also serving to distinguish his dialogue from the other two even when they share similar voices.
Bonus thoughts under the cut.
Honestly, talking about these really really minute literary features will never not remind me of the argument that the author probably didn’t write it that way intentionally.
And to that I say, I think that makes it more impressive!
Think about it in terms of art. Say someone notices how a painter always juxtaposes grey against more saturated colors in shadowed areas, which creates an extra layer of depth to the painting. Regardless if the artist consciously put together those two elements or not, the effect on the audience still exists. It could be instinctual. It could be accidental. But the choice to keep it as such demonstrates a level of creative understanding that I think is neat.
Scott Adams summed up my sentiments pretty succinctly, saying,
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Sometimes art isn’t planned, but it’s the choice of keeping it that gives it meaning.
#kenon.notes#serious literary analysis#enderverse meta#ender’s game#the most nerd emoji moment i’ve ever had on this blog. it will happen again.#im achieving my true form: analytical writer#literature
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my biggest flex is that i wrote an essay on y&b for my english class in high school and my professor was so impressed she asked me to lend her the book some day
#young & beautiful#velvetoscar#my biggest achievement fr#i had to let the world know about this masterpiece#y&b#larry stylinson#louis tomlinson#harry styles#fics#larry fic#literary art#one direction#liam payne#niall horan#zayn malik
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"the truth is she did it alone, and remembered it all her life."
#thinking how you never get the time back...#im hyping up my mum to finish her novel (first draft of which was shortlisted for an unpublished manuscript award in a literary magazine)#and she used to write short stories and often have them published like when i was little#but its like . shes never going to get all that time back...#even though shes aware now and whatever she'll never get the time back she spent just endlessly cleaning up after children and a useless#husband and being an unpaid therapist and working and and#and its all just... transient work that leaves nothing behind#like housework is not a legacy. but its there invisibly in everyone elses achievements#that they got to do because of ur silent invisible constantly erased (in the literal sense bc clothes get dirty again and new meals need to#be made) work#which in an equal society where everyones doing some housework is sort of lovely#but when all these talented women are fading into nothing to make their sons and husbands into Great Men it just makes me want to throw up
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they cut off my tags on that thoreau post. i wrote like much more of a rant and tumblr didnt even tell me they were cuttin it before i pressed post
#listen. i would've been more concise if you made me#tales from diana#i get so passionate on the topic of pre-nineteenth-century female writers and their systemic exclusion from the literary canon#it drives me up a wall i could truly talk forever and ever about all of these misconceptions#lately the one that gets under my skin is 'look at these (well-remembered) female writers who wrote under a pen name'#my god especially if it's a MALE (or gender-neutral) pen name#first of all. the brontes did not have 'male' pen names. the gender of the bells was not known or presumed#but the assumption is that these ppl were trying to hide their gender rather than many ppl chose not to disclose their identity#bc they didnt want their identity to be known.#also many many many women chose unambiguously feminine pen names. ephelia or astrea or laura or lesbia#(yes very often aping latin/classical conventions)#or what jane austen published her work under initially? A Lady#that's not someone trying to avoid being judged as a woman but someone trying not to be known personally in the world. understandably#and many many early novelists were women. the novel was not a respected art form AT ALL in its early years#so it wasn't that controversial that many of the biggest novelists were women.#as the novel grew in perceived sophistication and respectability. the feminine aspect of its identity waned away slowly#and now the generations of aphra behns and eliza haywoods and fanny burneys and ann radcliffes are forgotten entirely#bc no one cared to preserve it!! THAT is the part of the systemic misogyny#not that zero women ever wrote or published anything. far from it#but it took a considerable amount of resourcefulness and/or privilege to achieve that in the first place#and even with that being accomplished. people did not value it enough to preserve it for future generations#we would not have shakespeare like we do without the first folio. that's a very significant historical fact in his legacy.#we'd have maybe a dozen or so plays. not 38.#but even today you do not go into a bookstore and find the complete works (or even plays) of aphra behn anywhere.#or susanna centlivre or mary pix or hannah cowley#how many people do you know who recognize those names? let alone how many people do you know who have READ their works?#very few. and they are not easy to fucking find anywhere either!#and often unless they've been selected in a series like oxford's world classics (god bless oxford's world classics btw!!!)#you won't find them except from very select sellers and often very expensively#many such early women novelists and playwrights have works so rare you cannot find them duplicated on public access sources
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fuck it. chuck palahniuk's "guts" in pretty rainbow gradient
Inhale.
Take in as much air as you can.
This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So read as fast as you can.
A friend of mine, when he was thirteen years old he heard about "pegging." This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. Stimulate the prostate gland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. At that age, this friend's a little sex maniac. He's always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it's going to look at the supermarket checkstand, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.
So, my friend, he buys milk and eggs and sugar and a carrot, all the ingredients for a carrot cake. And Vaseline.
Like he's going home to stick a carrot cake up his butt.
At home, he whittles the carrot into a blunt tool. He slathers it with grease and grinds his ass down on it. Then, nothing. No orgasm. Nothing happens except it hurts.
Then, this kid, his mom yells it's “suppertime”. She says to come down, right now.
He works the carrot out and stashes the slippery, filthy thing in the dirty clothes under his bed.
After dinner, he goes to find the carrot and it's gone. All his dirty clothes, while he ate dinner, his mom grabbed them all to do laundry. No way could she not find the carrot, carefully shaped with a paring knife from her kitchen, still shiny with lube and stinky.
This friend of mine, he waits months under a black cloud, waiting for his folks to confront him. And they never do. Ever. Even now he's grown up, that invisible carrot hangs over every Christmas dinner, every birthday party. Every Easter egg hunt with his kids, his parents' grandkids, that ghost carrot is hovering over all of them.
That something too awful to name.
People in France have a phrase: "Spirit of the Stairway." In French: Esprit de l'escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer, but it's too late. Say you're at a party and someone insults you. You have to say something. So under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party…
As you start down the stairway, then — magic. You come up with the perfect thing you should've said. The perfect crippling put-down.
That's the Spirit of the Stairway.
The trouble is even the French don't have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure. Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.
Some deeds are too low to even get a name. Too low to even get talked about.
Looking back, kid-psych experts, school counselors now say that most of the last peak in teen suicide was kids trying to choke while they beat off. Their folks would find them, a towel twisted around the kid's neck, the towel tied to the rod in their bedroom closet, the kid dead. Dead sperm everywhere. Of course the folks cleaned up. They put some pants on their kid. They made it look… better. Intentional at least. The regular kind of sad, teen suicide.
Another friend of mine, a kid from school, his older brother in the Navy said how guys in the Middle East jack off different than we do here. This brother was stationed in some camel country where the public market sells what could be fancy letter openers. Each fancy tool is just a thin rod of polished brass or silver, maybe as long as your hand, with a big tip at one end, either a big metal ball or the kind of fancy carved handle you'd see on a sword. This Navy brother says how Arab guys get their dick hard and then insert this metal rod inside the whole length of their boner. They jack off with the rod inside, and it makes getting off so much better. More intense.
It's this big brother who travels around the world, sending back French phrases. Russian phrases. Helpful jack-off tips.
After this, the little brother, one day he doesn't show up at school. That night, he calls to ask if I'll pick up his homework for the next couple weeks. Because he's in the hospital.
He's got to share a room with old people getting their guts worked on. He says how they all have to share the same television. All he's got for privacy is a curtain. His folks don't come and visit. On the phone, he says how right now his folks could just kill his big brother in the Navy.
On the phone, the kid says how, the day before, he was just a little stoned. At home in his bedroom, he was flopped on the bed. He was lighting a candle and flipping through some old porno magazines, getting ready to beat off. This is after he's heard from his Navy brother. That helpful hint about how Arabs beat off. The kid looks around for something that might do the job. A ball-point pen's too big. A pencil's too big and rough. But dripped down the side of the candle, there's a thin, smooth ridge of wax that just might work. With just the tip of one finger, this kid snaps the long ridge of wax off the candle. He rolls it smooth between the palms of his hands. Long and smooth and thin.
Stoned and horny, he slips it down inside, deeper and deeper into the piss slit of his boner. With a good hank of the wax still poking out the top, he gets to work.
Even now, he says those Arab guys are pretty damn smart. They've totally re-invented jacking off. Flat on his back in bed, things are getting so good, this kid can't keep track of the wax. He's one good squeeze from shooting his wad when the wax isn't sticking out anymore.
The thin wax rod, it's slipped inside. All the way inside. So deep inside he can't even feel the lump of it inside his piss tube.
From downstairs, his mom shouts it's suppertime. She says to come down, right now. This wax kid and the carrot kid are different people, but we all live pretty much the same life.
It's after dinner when the kid's guts start to hurt. It's wax so he figured it would just melt inside him and he'd pee it out. Now his back hurts. His kidneys. He can't stand straight.
This kid talking on the phone from his hospital bed, in the background you can hear bells ding, people screaming. Game shows.
The X-rays show the truth, something long and thin, bent double inside his bladder. This long, thin V inside him, it's collecting all the minerals in his piss. It's getting bigger and more rough, coated with crystals of calcium, it's bumping around, ripping up the soft lining of his bladder, blocking his piss from getting out. His kidneys are backed up. What little that leaks out his dick is red with blood.
This kid and his folks, his whole family, them looking at the black X-ray with the doctor and the nurses standing there, the big V of wax glowing white for everybody to see, he has to tell the truth. The way Arabs get off. What his big brother wrote him from the Navy.
On the phone, right now, he starts to cry.
They paid for the bladder operation with his college fund. One stupid mistake, and now he'll never be a lawyer.
Sticking stuff inside yourself. Sticking yourself inside stuff. A candle in your dick or your head in a noose, we knew it was going to be big trouble.
What got me in trouble, I called it “Pearl Diving”. This meant whacking off underwater, sitting on the bottom at the deep end of my parents' swimming pool. With one deep breath, I'd kick my way to the bottom and slip off my swim trucks. I'd sit down there for two, three, four minutes.
Just from jacking off, I had huge lung capacity. If I had the house to myself, I'd do this all afternoon. After I'd finally pump out my stuff, my sperm, it would hang there in big, fat, milky gobs.
After that was more diving, to catch it all. To collect it and wipe each handful in a towel. That's why it was called Pearl Diving. Even with chlorine, there was my sister to worry about. Or, Christ almighty, my Mom.
That used to be my worst fear in the world: my teenage virgin sister, thinking she's just getting fat, then giving birth to a two-headed retard baby. Both heads looking just like me. Me, the father and the uncle.
In the end, it's never what you worry about that gets you.
The best part of Pearl Diving was the inlet port for the swimming pool filter and the circulation pump. The best part was getting naked and sitting on it.
As the French would say: “Who doesn't like getting their butt sucked?”
Still, one minute you're just a kid getting off, and the next minute you'll never be a lawyer.
One minute, I'm settling on the pool bottom, and the sky is wavy, light blue through eight feet of water above my head. The world is silent except for the heartbeat in my ears. My yellow-striped swim trunks are looped around my neck for safe keeping, just in case a friend, a neighbor, anybody shows up to ask why I skipped football practice. The steady suck of the pool inlet hole is lapping at me and I'm grinding my skinny white ass around on that feeling.
One minute, I've got enough air, and my dick's in my hand. My folks are gone at their work and my sister's got ballet. Nobody's supposed to be home for hours.
My hand brings me right to getting off, and I stop. I swim up to catch another big breath. I dive down and settle on the bottom.
I do this again and again.
This must be why girls want to sit on your face. The suction is like taking a dump that never ends. My dick hard and getting my butt eaten out, I do not need air. My heartbeat in my ears, I stay under until bright stars of light start worming around in my eyes. My legs straight out, the back of each knee rubbed raw against the concrete bottom. My toes are turning blue, my toes and fingers wrinkled from being so long in the water.
And then I let it happen. The big white gobs start spouting. The pearls.
It's then I need some air. But when I go to kick off against the bottom, I can't. I can't get my feet under me. My ass is stuck.
Emergency paramedics will tell you that every year about 150 people get stuck this way, sucked by a circulation pump. Get your long hair caught, or your ass, and you're going to drown. Every
year, tons of people do. Most of them in Florida.
People just don't talk about it. Not even French people talk about everything.
Getting one knee up, getting one foot tucked under me, I get to half standing when I feel the tug against my butt. Getting my other foot under me, I kick off against the bottom. I'm kicking free, not touching the concrete, but not getting to the air, either.
Still kicking water, thrashing with both arms, I'm maybe halfway to the surface but not going higher. The heartbeat inside my head getting loud and fast.
The bright sparks of light crossing and criss-crossing my eyes, I turn and look back… but it doesn't make sense. This thick rope, some kind of snake, blue-white and braided with veins has come up out of the pool drain and it's holding onto my butt. Some of the veins are leaking blood, red blood that looks black underwater and drifts away from little rips in the pale skin of the snake. The blood trails away, disappearing in the water, and inside the snake's thin, blue-white skin you can see lumps of some half-digested meal.
That's the only way this makes sense. Some horrible sea monster, a sea serpent, something that's never seen the light of day, it's been hiding in the dark bottom of the pool drain, waiting to eat me.
So… I kick at it, at the slippery, rubbery knotted skin and veins of it, and more of it seems to pull out of the pool drain. It's maybe as long as my leg now, but still holding tight around my butthole. With another kick, I'm an inch closer to getting another breath. Still feeling the snake tug at my ass, I'm an inch closer to my escape.
Knotted inside the snake, you can see corn and peanuts. You can see a long bright-orange ball. It's the kind of horse-pill vitamin my Dad makes me take, to help put on weight. To get a football scholarship. With extra iron and omega-three fatty acids.
It's seeing that vitamin pill that saves my life.
It's not a snake. It's my large intestine, my colon pulled out of me. What doctors call, prolapsed. It's my guts sucked into the drain.
Paramedics will tell you a swimming pool pump pulls 80 gallons of water every minute. That's about 400 pounds of pressure. The big problem is we're all connected together inside. Your ass is just the far end of your mouth. If I let go, the pump keeps working - unraveling my insides, until it's got my tongue. Imagine taking a 400-pound shit, and you can see how this might turn you inside out.
What I can tell you is your guts don't feel much pain. Not the way your skin feels pain. The stuff you're digesting, doctor's call it fecal matter. Higher up is chyme, pockets of a thin runny mess studded with corn and peanuts and round green peas.
That's all this soup of blood and corn, shit and sperm and peanuts floating around me. Even with my guts unraveling out my ass, me holding onto what's left, even then my first want is to somehow get my swimsuit back on.
God forbid my folks see my dick.
My one hand holding a fist around my ass, my other hand snags my yellow-striped swim trunks and pulls them from around my neck. Still, getting into them is impossible.
You want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of those lamb-skin condoms. Take one out and unroll it. Pack it with peanut butter. Smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it under water. Then, try to tear it. Try to pull it in half. It's too tough and rubbery. It's so slimy you can't hold on.
A lamb-skin condom, that's just plain old intestine.
You can see what I'm up against.
You let go for a second, and you're gutted.
You swim for the surface, for a breath, and you're gutted.
You don't swim, and you drown.
It's a choice between being dead right now or a minute from right now.
What my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus, curled in on itself. Floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. Tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. The opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. This is the baby they brought home from the hospital thirteen years ago. Here's the kid they hoped would snag a football scholarship and get an MBA. Who'd care for them in their old age. Here's all their hopes and dreams. Floating here, naked and dead. All around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.
Either that or my folks will find me wrapped in a bloody towel, collapsed halfway from the pool to the kitchen telephone, the ragged, torn scrap of my guts still hanging out the leg of my yellow-striped swim trunks.
What even the French won't talk about.
That big brother in the Navy, he taught us one other good phrase. A Russian phrase. The way we say: "I need that like I need a hole in my head…" Russian people say: "I need that like I need teeth in my asshole…"
Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse
Those stories about how animals caught in a trap will chew off their leg, well, any coyote would tell you a couple bites beats the hell out of being dead.
Hell… even if you're Russian, some day you just might want those teeth.
Otherwise, what you have to do is, you have to twist around. You hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. You bite and snap at your own ass. You run out of air, and you will chew through anything to get that next breath.
It's not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. Not if you expect a kiss good night.
If I told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari.
It's hard to say what my parents were more disgusted by: how I'd got in trouble or how I'd saved myself. After the hospital, my Mom said, "You didn't know what you were doing, honey. You were in shock." And she learned how to cook poached eggs.
All those people grossed out or feeling sorry for me…
I need that like I need teeth in my asshole.
Nowadays, people always tell me I look too skinny. People at dinner parties get all quiet and pissed off when I don't eat the pot roast they cooked. Pot roast kills me. Baked ham. Anything that hangs around inside my guts for longer than a couple hours, it comes out still food. Home-cooked lima beans or chunk light tuna fish, I'll stand up and find it still sitting there in the toilet.
After you have a radical bowel resectioning, you don't digest meat so great. Most people, you have five feet of large intestine. I'm lucky to have my six inches. So I never got a football scholarship. Never got an MBA. Both my friends, the wax kid and the carrot kid, they grew up, got big, but I've never weighed a pound more than I did that day when I was thirteen.
Another big problem was my folks paid a lot of good money for that swimming pool. In the end my Dad just told the pool guy it was a dog. The family dog fell in and drowned. The dead body got pulled into the pump. Even when the pool guy cracked open the filter casing and fished out a rubbery tube, a watery hank of intestine with a big orange vitamin pill still inside, even then, my Dad just said, "That dog was fucking nuts."
Even from my upstairs bedroom window, you could hear my Dad say, "We couldn't trust that dog alone for a second…"
Then my sister missed her period.
Even after they changed the pool water, after they sold the house and we moved to another state, after my sister's abortion, even then my folks never mentioned it again.
Ever.
That is our invisible carrot.
You. Now you can take a good, deep breath.
I still have not.
#i'm currently reading haunted and i'll be damned if guts ain't the greatest piece of fiction ever written#millennia of literary history has led up to the pinnacle that is this. humanity's single greatest artistic achievement.#chuck palahniuk#guts#chuck palahniuk guts#guts chuck palahniuk#shitpost#long post#horror#body horror
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trc truly was such a special little thing like i often think back on it with such fondness like i read it at truly the perfect time in my life and i can never replicate it and it makes it all the more precious
#sorry for talking about trc as if it was the greatest literary achievement of our generation#but it literally is hope this helps
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nothing and i mean nothing makes disregard a book recommendation quicker than a comparison to "the overstory"
#i hate that book#i think we should stop discussing it as an achievement in literary fiction when in reality it's truly quite indulgent#and in love with itself#and of course then there are (THE HORRORS)#anti the overstory
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the differences between the stranger things fandom on tiktok vs twitter vs tumblr are fascinating and i could talk about them at length, but tonight i'm mostly just thinking that what on tumblr is a fun conversation with my mutuals about the time loop billy-centric s3 fix-it fic i'm writing would be a circle jerk of getting cancelled for being a racist abuse apologist of some kind on tiktok/twitter, because we are simply not allowed to explore multifaceted characters and their narrative potential on main now apparently
#tiktok is a cesspool i have fun in sometimes but twitter really is a trip#once forgot to make the palms of poc character lighter on a quick colored sketch and got accussed of lite racism#as a brown person in possession of my own darker skin with lighter palms did i have news for them#anyway i think we've somehow achieve better media and literary analysis on tumblr than on twitter congrats folks#billy hargrove#sketchy speaks
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Bromantane 8
Eric Heintz
In a reflection of purity, righteousness, divine guidance, and wisdom
Success, success - a victory of light
A matter of spiritual growth
Yet, a matter of being a slightly bit smaller than I was before - I became an alpha of shrinks so to say
Fully an overall metaphysical achievement with a heightened sense of awareness of direction and purpose
Part of the humility that is placed before honor - one of several required fasting procedures
A spiritual beer called Bromantane used wisely - I was a drunken prophet with a purpose
A duration of 8 days was this procedure - a time of genetic alteration
The right-side mana drip unlocked - a "level-up" reinforcing my predetermined immortality
From this event/experience I attained appropriate pride in self and in that of all of creation as well
#poem#pride#mental health#poetry#literary art#art#artists on tumblr#symbolism#immortality#heaven#spiritual#fasting#actoprotector#nootropic#supplement#fasting procedure#procedure#divine guidance#mana#right-side mana drip#mana drip#level-up#achievement#success#experience#beer#spiritual beer#Bromantane#genetic alteration#change
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Martina Hefter Wins German Book Prize at Frankfurt Book Fair
Martina Hefter Wins the German Book Prize Martina Hefter has emerged victorious in this year’s prestigious German Book Prize, one of the most esteemed accolades in German-language literature, for her remarkable novel Hey guten Morgen, wie geht es dir? (“Hey, good morning, how are you?”). This announcement coincides with the commencement of the Frankfurt Book Fair, the largest book trade fair…
#Adania Shibli#book awards#controversy#Frankfurt Book Fair#German Book Prize#Hey guten Morgen#literary achievements#literature#Martina Hefter#Palestinian author#wie geht es dir?
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