#Levi big e

[omg-nicesmile]

Come shop used and vintage!

ebay.com/usr/king_royalte

[sempredomingo]

[thurstongrey]

[meta-phoriquement]

Vent en vrac #001

Pourquoi j'ai des intérêts spécifiques aussi contradictoires les uns avec les autres, c'est relou un peu

Genre j'ai à la fois un intérêt spé pour les marques qui proposent des produits du quotidien plus éthique et plus écologique, notamment (mais pas que) au niveau mode et prêt à porter, et un autre sur le big e de Levis

Ça matche pas ensemble, c'est chiant

Bon soyons honnête, j'ai un intérêt pour les vêtements, la mode et le style de façon plus globale (ça fait vraiment putaclic dit comme ça, mais bref)

Mais j'aimerais bien arriver à au moins être cohérent et aligné pour une fois

Et prétendre avoir certaines valeurs écologiques et humaines tout en ayant un intérêt spé sur la consommation, c'est ridicule franchement

Puis vouloir consommer éthique et être précaire aussi, est ce qu'on en parle

Et rien à voir, mais j'en ai marre aussi d'avoir 0 patience avec mes cheveux

Je les ai coupé court au lycée, je l'ai regretté quasi instantanément mais j'ai toujours pas réussi à avoir la patience de les laisser pousser tranquillou sans faire un mental breakdown de merde et tout recouper ou colorer de façon dégueulasse depuis

À chaque fois qu'il y a un bide dans mon humeur ce sont mes cheveux qui en prennent un coup, et chaque fois je le regrette dans la semaine voir dans la journée, mais j'ai quand même toujours pas enregistré la leçon et je recommence à chaque fois

C'est relou à la fin

Un peu de stabilité mentale bon sang aussi, ça ferait pas de mal

Il y a vraiment des moments où je me dis que ça doit être agréable d'être un normis parfois, on doit vraiment moins se prendre la tête

(Désolé, il y a un blending chelou Paola / Allie, et on est en plein spm, y'a rien qui va)

Et c'est marrant aussi, on ressent beaucoup plus l'envie et le besoin de dire qui front en ce moment

Et puis merde

Bordel, avoir un sopk et être intersexe en même temps c'est de la putain de grosse merde

Déjà individuellement, les deux états sont mal compris par le corps médical et mal pris en charge, mais alors cumuler c'est la fête du slip

À quel moment un médecin donne de l'ibuprophène pour des douleurs de règles déjà, genre tu trouves pas que mon sang il coule déjà assez tout seul sans ajouter un médoc qui le fluidifie monsieur de le doc ?

Pis rajoute un trouble hormonal sur un trouble de l'humeur, méga idée du siècle touloulou putain

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

Okay these are, like, incredibly rare as fuck Levi’s and it’s wild to me that they’re unworn deadstock

Levi’s

[porcalinecunt]

𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋. ♡

🎀 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ thinking about aot men who’d be the softest doms ever . . .

·˚ ◌༘͙[featuring] ! ˊ 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍, 𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇, 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍, 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐓

cw — fem!reader. size kink (erwin) body worship (jean, levi) praise kink. lots of breedings. edging, fingering, some nipple play (levi) sub!armin (implied)

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ author’s note! : hi hi! it’s been a while since i made an actual post here. apologies! life got busy, but i finally have time to make fics again :D there might be some changes on this account but we’ll see! anyways, please enjoy and feedback is welcomed! 🤍

➸ jean kirstien.

he’s already so much of a sweetheart, so it’s not shock he’s carry that to the bedroom. he’s needy but slow, as it’d be way too easy to accidentally hurt you. the size difference aroused yet made him a bit nervous. (the first time was quite a hassle!) nonetheless, jean gave you the fuckin’ princess treatment every time the both of you would get intimate. kissing every inch of your body while caressing your hips with his large hands. he’d gently lay your down, not pulling away from the sloppy kiss the two of you are engaging in. did i mention that this man is huge? he adores watching you struggle to take him completely, squirming and whining as he stretches your smaller cunny inch by inch.

“j-jean..’s too big!” you whined, watching through glassy eyes as your boyfriend hovered over you, sinking himself deeper and deeper into your weeping cunt. your legs twitch in a failing attempt to keep them open, something jean would immediately notice. “does it hurt babe?” he asked in a groan, hazel eyes carving holes into yours through hooded lids. you could only shake your head as he took it as a confirmation to bottom himself out. your eyes rolled to your brain and your jaw went slack as jean watched in awe. “look at you..taking it so well f’me.” he sighed, slowly beginning to pump you full as ecstasy filled your senses. the only thing you could hear were jean’s sweet praises, telling you how much of a good little girl you were for taking him so well and patiently. your head grew hot as the feeling of his dick stuffing you full began to overwhelm you. “good little girl, always taking my dick so well..fuck you’re so cute!”

➸ erwin smith.

oh my god. erwin. what more can i say, he’s a gentleman in bed! anything you ask for, he will do without hesitation. want him to knock you up? done. want some head? he’s already on his knees. sad after a rough day? he’ll stuff your cunny full until your filled n happy. anything your heart desires, he’ll give it to you with all the adoration he has for you. ♡ even better when you realize how big he is. how he can easily pick you up and fuck you silly in mid air if he really wanted to. even better, how massive his fucking dick is, enough to make your mouth water just by the thought of it.

“e-erwin!” you whined, watching your husband’s face as he stared down at you. a gaze full of softness and love, a stark contrast to how he was treating you. a smile to his wife while fucking her slutty pussy like an attention deprived whore. “how did i get so lucky? what did i do to deserve such a beautiful girl as my wife..” he breathily chuckled, fucking into you at a slightly faster pace. erwin started down at you, from your flustered smile to your breasts and stuffed cunt, every last detail on you brought him closer to the edge. “good girl..my good girl. you deserve every inch i give you..”

➸ levi ackerman.

contrary to popular belief, levi isn’t the mean and rough dom many make him out to be (still adore that levi tho!) but rather, a gentle and passionate type of dom. he’s not the most romantic, but oh boy, when he is..buckle up. this man will treat you like your his final meal on death row, savoring every inch of flesh you have on your body. kissing you from your lips to your clit, muttering sweet nothings while pumping his slender fingers inside your cunny. he sings his praises when he’s balls deep in you, calling you names like ‘princess’ and ‘darling’, anything that fills your stomach with butterflies if its not his cock. your legs are already trembling from his voice alone, not helping the fact his groans are fuckin’ perfection.

“settle down princess, i barely did a thing.” levi carassed your breast with one hand while finger fucking you with the other. all he needed was two fingers and his wrist as he flicked it with a quickened pace that almost forced your thighs shut from shock and pleasure. while your mouth was closed, tiny whines still manage to spill through as your husband’s thumb moved it’s way to your clit, adding to the overstimulation. with his other hand, he tugged and played with your nipple while letting go just to take a gentle squeeze to your whole breast. you’re thighs shook as your orgasms reaches closer and you grabbed the coller of levi’s loose shirt for support. “‘s becoming too much princess? you wanna cum all over my fingers?” he spoke in a gentle and low tone, making you nod eagerly to his question. “How cute, shit—if only I could do this everyday.”

➸ armin arlot.

armin armin armeeen! <3 you already know what kind of man he is. his partner’s pleasure is a priority he takes very seriously, from letting you choose the position to making sure you orgasm first before he spills his seed inside you. he gives you princess treatment even after sex, not letting up until you knock out from exhaustion. he fucks you like your a goddess, hitting every sensitive spot in your while singing his praises. he wants, no, needs to see you cum around his cock as it’ll make the night worth it. he won’t lie, seeing you whimpering and shamelessly getting off to him servicing you never fails to push him over the edge and nearly fuck a baby in you. this man is a keeper!

“t-this good enough for you..?” armin sighed, watching you take in his dick inch by inch until you’ve completely sat down on it. “y-yeah..fuck you’re huge..!” you whined out, grabbed his thighs and trying your best to move while the overwhelming pleasure had you shaking. the blonde placed his hands on the plush of your hips, firmly holding it as he lifted you up from his cock before slamming you back down on it. a yelp tore from your throat, nails digging into the flesh of his thigh and your eyes screwed shut from the sharp pleasure. “right there! armin fuck..!” you mewl as he guided your hips, slamming his cock in and out of you at the pace you desired the most. his blue eyes peered through his bangs as he grew redder and redder from the expression you wore so beautifully. mouth parted open in an ‘o’ shape with slightly arched eyebrows, pink washed over your face with red sitting right on your cheeks. fuck, he was insatiable. “yes..just like that love, just like you wanted. always taking it like the good girl you are. ♡”

© porcalinecunt 💌 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ do not steal, translate, or use my work and claim as your own.

[leviismybby]

Cat and Mouse

Levi Ackerman x fem!reader, mdni, nsfw 18+, fingering

Levi's eyes scan the rooftops, he can hear you, hear your footsteps. He launches his gear at the nearby building wall and steps on the rooftop, spotting your figure he hides behind a wall and waits for you to pass by. This time, he won't let you off the hook easily, you were gonna rush past him but Levi surprises you, spins you around and pushes you against the cold surface harshly. You grunt as your back hits the concrete, your eyes narrow immediately before they meet his grey ones. He will never learn.

"Captain." That sarcasm in your voice isn't something Levi appreciated, he jas had enough of your games. Before he speaks, he pins your hands above your head, last time you pulled a stunt, he isn't letting that happen again. "What the fuck is your problem?" You know why he is mad, you've caused him quiet the trouble, not that you regret it. "My problem? I don't have one. You clearly do." A brat, you were such a brat and he couldn't fathom what keeps him so infatuated with you. Maybe it's the fact that you're a thief that the MPs can't seem to catch or maybe is the fact that you outsmarted him both time he caught you. Either way, Levi wants it to stop.

"You have to stop. The military police will get a bounty on that shitty head of yours. You fucked it up badly this time." He was right, you did fuck it up, stealing from the Garrison just for the thrill of it. If Levi didn't know any better, he would say that you're crazy, than again, he isn't exactly normal either and he is the last person to judge you given his past as a thug. "Aww, thanks for caring, I don't care." You try to stir out of his grip and he only tightens it, keeping you still. "You're fucking insufferable you know that?" It was true, you were an annoyance for him, he had better things to do than to chase a petty thief around Trost but there was something about you that kept him coming back. He hated himself for always giving in.

"I can only say the same, Captain. Why do you care so much?" You roll your eyes, trying to find a way out of his grip but nothing seems to come to mind. He is too close to you, you can feel his breath on your cheek, this is getting dangerous. "I don't dammit. I will be the first to celebrate when your ass gets thrown in jail." Maybe he should do it, bring you in and let the militray police do as they please with you but his inner turmoil isn't letting him, he hates to admit it but he enjoys this, the chase and the games between you. His comrads would be disappointed if they knew, he knows your face, knows how you work so why doesn't he just report you? It's a problem that he can't slove tonight.

You don't say anything, the words coming out of his mouth were harsh but true, you did keep him on his feet and you enjoyed the attention. "So report me. Or is your ego not letting you." He hides things well behind that indifferent expression but his eyes tell you a different story, there is hate there, of course there is, you two hold mutual hatred for on e another however there is desire there too, it shouldn't be. It really shouldn't. Levi scoffs at your words, his fingers wrap around your neck and he squeezes, his other hand still firmly holding your wrist together. "You're the egotist one here. You and your shitty criminal jobs. How much money did you earn by selling sealed information huh? What is your game here?" That was his main problem, you stole from the survey corps too and he doesn't appreciate it one bit.

His fingers squeeze your throat again, he wants you to answer but he won't approve if you lie to him. "Enough and I enjoy the chase. Noel matter how big or minor my crime is, you always comr running after me. Why is that captain?" Now there is a question he wants answer at least not with words. Hos face inches closer to you, your noses touching. "Fucking annoying brat." You smirk, your eyes drifting to his lips, will he finally do it or will he run away from it like all those other times? You don't move away or lean in, you simply wait, eager to feel his lips agsint yours.

And just like that, a groan leaves his lips, his hand moving down to your hip and his lips crashing agsint yours. Returning the kiss immediately, you feel his grip on your wrist loosen and insted he interlocks his fingers with yours, his kiss getting more passionate. You let your hand fall to his hair, pulling him into the kiss even more, his body presses up agsint yours, the heat between you making a shiver run down your spine. You moan as his hand moves to your ass and he squeezes, loving the sounds that are leaving your mouth. He needs to hear more and he plans too. His grip gets more and more possessive, his hands start to roam your body, feeling your every curve. You can't go all the way put here, both of you know that but Levi is letting his desire for you cloud his judgement and he can't keep his hands off of you even out here.

The two of you keep kissing for some time until Levi pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your mouth to each other. Levi's eyes look you up and down, he wants to fuck you here and now but it's too risky, so he will simply have to do something else. His mouth starts kissing your neck, each kiss more sloppy than the other, you throw your head back, giving him more space, you're enjoying this more than you thought you would. A gasp leaves your swollen lips when he bites into your skin leaving marks behind. "You smell so fucking good." He says against your skin before biting again, this time he hits your sweet spot directly, making a shiver run down your spine. You grab onto his shoulders, your body pulling it self closer to his. "Desperate are you? Fucking brat." He turns you around, your hands on the cold wall, he bucks your hips sligthy and gives your ass a firm slap, fuck the things he would do to you.

He lands another slap on your ass, his body pressing fully into yours, you can feel how hard he is for you. You bite your lip and reach out for his bulge but he slaps your hand away. "No. Keep your fucking hands on the wall understood?" You nod at his words, as much you want to talk back to him, you don't want to ruin this moment so you keep quiet and listen to what he says. You keep your hands on the wall feeling his run up and down your sides before the reach your pants. His hand slides in and you gasp at his cold fingers as they reach your core, he rubs you over your panties making soft moans come put of you. "Wet aren't you? Is this waht this whole thing is about? You want me to fuck you don't you?" Bingo, thats exactly what this whole thing is about, him finally breaching his breaking point and taking you.

Your hips buck into his hands, you want more. Levi chuckles, sending another shiver down your body, this is the first time you hear him chuckle and it's making you feel things. "Yeah? Oh you would love to have my cock deep inside of you right now. Too bad you're not getting it." He nibbles on your ear as he says that, his voice horase and rough, he is turned on beyond belief. He starts to rub you again, feeling the way the fabric of your panties is getting wet, you're phehetic, acting all though while all it took is a single touch for him to get you under his control, you melt so easily, he will indulge in that. Finally his fingers slip into your underwear and feels your pussy, his fingers runs down your slit, feeling your slick and walls, you're so wet for him, fuck he really is in trouble.

He kisses your shoulder, his fingers finding your clit, you thighs close against his hand, whimpers escape your mouth. "How cute. You're phehetic, so fucking easy to break." His fingers enters you without warning, it starts of slow, he loves teasing you but as soon as he feels your warm walls clench around his finger, he starts to finger you faster. "Fuck Levi." You say, your hands steady on the wall, he knows what he is doing. As soon as you said that, he adds a second finger keeping the fast pace, your eyes start to water as he curls them hitting that soft spot. He keeps pumping his fingers in and put of you, your actions are getting him more drunk, he loves how your body shakes just from him fingering you. He needs to control himself or else his cock will be buried deep inside of you and he can't afford that.

The more you react, the faster his pace gets, you forget completely where you are. That people can see and hear you but that's the last of your worries right now. You have Levi, the captain of the survey corps, humanity's strongest soldier fingering you on top of a building. This isn't how you wanted your afternoon to go but its far better than you ever imagined. His fingers keep moving inside of you, his other hand runs under your shirt and he grabs your breast, massaging it in his hands. "Are you gonna cum for me out here?" That makes your pussy clench aagsint his fingers again, you're getting close, that pit in your stomach starts to build up but you're not queit there yet. Levi knows how to push you over the edge, his thumb adds pressure on your clit and he keeps fingering you in a fast pace, the moan that leavs you is something you should be ashamed of, oh someone definitely heard you now, not that you care. "That's it. Good girl, cum for me, let me see you fall apart."

You can't keep your hands on the wall anymore, your grabs onto his arm with both of your hands, digging your nails into his shirt as you cum. You roll your hips, riding out of your orgsam against his fingers, he keeps them inside of you even after you cum. You catch your breath, your head falling back on his shoulder, he kisses the side of your face, he removes his hand from your underwear, his fingers are soaked. "Took about two fucking minutes to make you cum. Aren't you embarrassed?" He asks you as you open your eyes, your cheeks flushed, his hand is still on your breast and he squeezes it once more before letting go and setting both of his hands on your hips. He kisses you on the lips again, the kiss is quick and sloppy.

Eventually, Levi pulls away from you, cleaning his fingers with his cloth. You turn back around, leaning against the wall. The sun is starting to set and you don't know what to say. Levi looks your way again, he fixes his gear. "Stay out out trouble or next time I am fucking you on the wall for all to see. Understood?" That makes you laugh, he had a way with words but you wouldn't mind at all. "Oh captain my captain, if that will be the outcome, I will be gladly robbing the bank next." Your words make his eyes roll, you really were a brat. You fic yourself, fix your hair and look at him again. "See you around, Captain." You wink and get off the rooftop. Levi is left there, staring at the distance until he realised something, his wallet was missing. Damn you.

[r0-boat]

Aaaa Happy birthday to our beautiful princess

I will probably be choked out because I posted another king on the ruler of envy's birthday XD

Anyways enough yapping

Leviathan NSFW ALPHABET

Cw: breeding, marking, choking, slight branding, chokers and collars.

(Asmodeus Leviathan beef)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

If you want aftercare you're probably going to be disappointed. Levi has never had soft touch in his life. He didn't even know there was such a thing until he flinched away from your touch when you ran your fingers through his hair.

After you explain what it is, he rolls his eyes and tells you it seems stupid(He didn't tell you to stop either). The next time the two have sex, he starts holding you closer and awkwardly press his lips against your neck and shoulders. Don't acknowledge his cuddling, or else he will stop immediately, Turns out he's quite fond of your gentle touch

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

There's two body parts that he absolutely adores He loves your neck, He likes watching the subtle movements He likes The fact that he could leave marks as visible as possible and as dark and big as he wants to. He likes cute little noise you make when he wraps his hand around it.

He also likes your eyes, He will never ever admit how beautiful your eyes are to him. When you catch him looking at you Leviathan rips his gaze away even though all he wants to do is stare into your eyes. He wants all of your attention on him all the time He wants those beautiful eyes to be on him constantly.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside you or on you. Marking you with his seed. He has been trying to fuck you deeper ever since Asmodeus came back to hell.

His mind is poisoned with thoughts of how much cum that stinky freak has pumped inside you. He hates being jealous of that disgusting piece of trash, but he can't help it when all he thinks about is the time he stole you away doing who knows what.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Most the time the sex you have with Levi is emotionally charged, rough and needy.

But Leviathan often thinks about what it feel like to make love to you. To have you in His arms as if you were the only one for him and to have you look at him like he was your one and only.

To be so infatuated with each other, that nothing else matters but the two of you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's Not as experienced as you may think. A lot of his movements are more primal and driven by his pure need. He doesn't know how to pleasure you to make you feel good. But he learns over time because he wants to know your body so well that you only come to him.

How does he know how to pleasure you from the beginning? Beel talks a lot even Sometimes giving him unwanted advice...

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary, He wants to see your face contort and pleasure and he wants you to look at him reminder of what he is doing to you and who is making you feel this good. He'll also take any other position that makes his cock reach as deep as possible.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

No, He will shut you up with his hand or his mouth if you ever joke with him when he's balls deep inside you

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has a routine. That man is as smooth and as bald as glass

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

No he doesn't and he doesn't know how That doesn't mean he doesn't try. It's just old habits are hard to break.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Leviathan tries so hard not to masturbate to you. He tries so hard to ignore his hard cock and to push away the dirty images of you lying beneath him or straddling him.

He's so pent up from holding back, all it takes is one risky text of your bare body and he will come barreling toward you at rapid speeds ready to fuck you until you're soul leave your body.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

The power he holds over you when his hand wraps around your delicate supple neck. And The power he gives you when you do the same.

When something is around that neck it's not just power It feels like he's claimed you in some way. That little mark that Asmodeus put just underneath your tummy... He hates everythings about it all the time It makes him want to mark you in some way... leaving something more permanent

Other than choking, Leviathan loves marking you and he loves breeding. Feeling you up so full too His seed is flowing out of you. Scratching the deepest part of his brain that he is claimed you and the most primal way a human can be.

His darker desires of putting a baby in you doesn't help... The idea of making Asmodeus jealous taking the one thing he wants more than anything but can't have is so tempting...

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom or a closed off space He will not fuck you anywhere else.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The fastest thing to get him into your pants is jealousy which is crazy because he's always jealous.

However, a personal headcanon of mine is that Levi likes little trinkets around your neck.

One time, you wore a choker,and all he could do was stare at it. With a intense desire to play with it between his fingers and it's not just chokers, collars and necklaces are also very nice.

Chokers collars and necklaces or any little jewelry that goes around your neck is jis biggest weakness

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

HE WILL NOT SHARE YOU. If you want him to even tolerate another demon in the same bed as him it better be an act of God.

HE WILL NOT HAVE ANY OTHER DEVIL SEE OR TOUCH YOUR NAKED BODY. If you ever tell him to have sex in public he will get mad just for you mentioning that. "What are you hoping for someone to see you?? Who is it??"

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Levi rather receive because he doesn't know how to give 😭 He doesn't want to be made fun of by you but he doesn't know how to practice otherwise.

Don't worry though He has the enthusiasm believe it or not once he has a taste of you he'll be addicted.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

All his movements are primal and irregular, fast and rough He fucks you like an animal in heat constantly trying to chase his orgasm to fill you up fuck you through his orgasm and then fill you up again. There is no ounce of tact in his movements.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Leviathan does not understand quickies.

He does not get them and he doesn't care to. If he has you then all other events are delayed until he's finished. Of course if you're the one who demands him to stop he will although not without complaining. And then he'll fuck you even harder once he's alone with you. As payback

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

No❤️

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's average of The demon kings but still excellent for regular demons, He doesn't last as long as say Satan, Mammon or God forbid Asmodeus/Beelzebub. Your body will only be sore for a couple days when he's done with you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No❤️ He's so petty he'll get toys modeled after his own dick. And still get jealous of them. He has found your vibrator or dildo and flushed it or threw it out.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Hes teasing is not goofy with naughty words that will make you shudder like Beel, His teasing is borderline punishment because it is. stop thinking of other men >:(.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His room is soundproof because he is loud. He has to remind himself to hold back but recently he's been neglecting that entirely only quieting his moan so he could hear yours.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Not NSFW bear with me: you'll never know how often he romanticizes his relationship with you. His heart pumps in his chest as his mind wanders off when he's doing paperwork about him being the only man in your life giving you flowers taking you out on dates doing all the other useless romantic stuff that couples do.How he aches to feel that wholesome, innocent experience of love.

He's jealous that other devils, especially kings, could experience such innocent gestures. He doesn't know how to show love how traditionally devils show love... And he hates a certain human he'd rather not utter their name that he experienced childhood and innocent love with you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His cock is so beautiful What the fuck, too bad his dick size is canonically the smallest of the kings lmao. (And the only one we can safely take ish)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Yes, His sex drive is the third highest tying with Beel The second being Lucifer and Asmodeus obviously being the first

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

No, He has a country to run, so he doesn't have the luxury to cuddle up next to your small body and fall asleep with you in his arms. Still, he will be there to order his subordinates to clean you up, not before putting one of his robes around you after doing a few things he will be back for either a second round or something a little more wholesome.

[thatbirdrestaurant]

ʚ fairy tail headcanons ɞ

ʚ these all range from canon-compliant to pure fanfiction lala land ɞ

ʚ this ended up being so much longer than i planned ɞ

ʚɞ

the b team from the gmg hang out regularly and are all very good friends. mirajane, cana, and juvia have special "making fun of laxus" privileges that not even bickslow has.

laxus is genuinely embarrassed about how he used to talk about erza and she uses it against him very often. "oh, yes, because how can i - a mere woman - possibly accomplish this task myself?" "fine! i'll open the pickle jar!"

cain instinct is strong in the fairy tail guild. everyone is resisting the urge to smack each other, and most of them aren't very good at it. even laxus can be a target, especially after he chilled out. the most surprising display was when levy smacked him square in the head with one of her books, and he just yelled at her, or when cana stared at erza for a few seconds before smacking her across the face.

sex education was, probably, the worst thing to happen to those who grew up in the guild hall. either makarov didn't give enough details or he gave way too many.

lucy and gray are the biggest gossipers in the guild. they know everyone's secrets and while they don't blackmail people, they never hide something from the other. if they're staring at you and whispering, they are talking mad shit or they found out something about you.

juvia and natsu get along alarmingly well. they're not even sure how it works, just that they're so different that it kind of makes them perfect for each other (as friends).

natsu is sting's celebrity crush and he thinks he's doing a great job at hiding it. he's not. everyone knows. rogue knows, lector knows, all of sabertooth knows, all of fairy tail knows, sorcerer weekly knows, natsu knows. no one has the heart to tell him.

juvia doesn't have romantic feelings for lyon but she wants them to be friends so badly. not to get closer to gray, just because she thinks he's really cool and easy to talk to. lyon is so smug about it and gray wants to throttle him for it.

erza and mira's rivalry is alive in the tiniest of ways. they're always having small contests like "i bet i can wash this cup faster than you," or "i bet lucy says hi to me first." there's no hard feelings involved, they just can't help but be a little competitive with each other.

erza was illiterate for a really long time, way longer than she should have been, and makarov felt awful for not realizing it sooner. she was just looking at the reward numbers and going with the flow. on top of that, she has really bad dyslexia, something that somehow went under the radar.

related to the previous headcanon, lucy eventually realizes that the reason natsu has such bad grammar and reading comprehension is because he was tutored by erza, and erza's so bad at writing and understanding big words because she has undiagnosed dyslexia. so takes the time to slowly teach them how to read more complicated things, showing erza ways to read with her dyslexia, and giving them handwriting lessons. the first time erza writes a comprehendible letter is to jellal, and she's absolutely ecstatic about it. natsu is thrilled that he can finally read lucy's book without feeling stupid.

gray teaches wendy a lot about social cues and how to survive in a city as big as magnolia. she grew up very sheltered in a tiny village, so it makes sense that she struggles with "big city living." she's very appreciative and gray is just happy he can be of use.

gray stopped smoking because he heard lucy say she finds smokers unattractive. (gray, in the manga, smoked for a bit, and it's explicitly stated that, at least for the first handful of arcs, he was interested in lucy).

natsu started having romantic feelings for lucy during their fight against kain, but he didn't realize he was in love with her until he watched future lucy die. lucy didn't realize she had feelings for natsu until she realized she was in love with him, which was after the events with the eclipse gate. (the specific moments i'm talking about: kain | future lucy | post-eclipse gate)

between her and gajeel, juvia is the older one. she doesn't give it much thought but gajeel sees her in a big sister role, and has found himself accidentally referring to her as his older sister. which he would rather die than let her find out about.

when asked who she would go after if gray wasn't in the picture, most people expect juvia to say she could never picture a world without gray, but she will look you dead in the eye and, without any hesitation, say, "erza."

gray and loke had something very gay going on before loke went back to the celestial spirit world. the sexual tension between the two of them in this scene is too strong, they've fucked, kissed at least.

when gray realized he liked juvia back, he had a full mental breakdown for several reasons. a fear of intimacy, a fear of losing her like he has every single woman he's ever cared about, and because he just couldn't believe her very weird and very aggressive flirting tactics worked.

in the same vein, evergreen was inconsolable for days when she realized she was in love with elfman. laxus, freed, and bickslow have never been more worried about her mental well-being.

all of crime sorciere have a betting pool on when jellal and erza will get their heads out of their asses. they've had to place new bets several times because they're still dancing around each other. at this point, the betting pool is getting tense, and someone is going to lose so much money.

cobra and jellal kissed once because they were both extremely drunk and extremely sad about their respective crushes. neither of them remember it but the rest of crime sorciere can never forget watching cobra shove his tongue down jellal's throat.

makarov has said "you're like the son i never had" way too many times for it to be an accident.

elfman wants to be a girl dad so bad. he absolutely loves having sisters and he's obsessed with the idea of having a daughter to spoil and dote on.

gray and juvia have a kid before getting married...whoops.

going against the grain and literally what mashima has said, and saying that natsu and lucy have a son before having a daughter. he's a lot like lucy while their daughter is almost exactly like natsu.

yukino is a raging lesbian and is endlessly distressed by how many people think she's in love with sting. her month was ruined when minerva congratulated them on their relationship. completely ignoring the fact that sting is a gay man and is openly down bad for rogue.

rufus and orga have been dating for almost three years and literally no one knows.

lucy cried for three hours when she found out about anna and ichiya.

laxus and freed are in a queer-platonic relationship. laxus is aroace and has no interest in being romantically involved with someone, but he likes the dynamics of dating someone, and freed just likes having someone to spoil (back massages, compliments, all the things freed does in canon).

natsu has ended up in so many situations where he's put in feminine clothing, that he's actually started to kind of like it. he really doesn't mind the idea of wearing a skirt or letting lucy do his makeup. lucy is obsessed with it, and they sometimes do each other's makeup.

romeo is a trans boy and canon is my enemy. macao is extremely supportive and is always introducing romeo as enthusiastically as he can. "this is my son, romeo. isn't he so handsome? just the most handsome boy out there. i'm so proud of my son. he's the best." it's as embarrassing as it is endearing.

gray gets really bad joint pain after using his demon slayer magic, because the demon ice is so cold that it hurts him. thankfully, juvia is always happy to give him massages and crack his back.

natsu had the fattest crush on laxus from the age of thirteen to the very end of the battle of fairy tail arc. everyone just thought he had too much faith in his guild mates, but it was actually because he was so horrendously down bad for laxus that he couldn't accept that he was kind of a psycho.

gray tries so hard to seem cool and nonchalant that he accidentally flirts with basically everyone he interacts with. he thinks he's being cool and mysterious, instead he's making people fall in love with him.

loke tells lucy she's beautiful all the way into her sixties, and he means it every single time.

jude, technically, didn't take layla's maiden name, they just had the most unbelievable coincidence in the world where layla's last name was "heartfilia," while jude's was "heartphilia," so neither of them really saw a point in changing their last names.

juvia and gajeel were not only introduced to the wonders of genuine friendship and family after joining fairy tail, but also the amazing world of weed by cana and bickslow. laxus will never forget walking into his apartment with the thunder legion for the first time in years, and being met with juvia, gajeel, and cana on the couch, passing a blunt, while bickslow was raiding the kitchen.

gajeel and levy elope, only bringing lily and juvia with them as their witnesses. lucy was a little (a lot) insulted by it, but she eventually understood why levy did what she did when her and natsu decided to do the exact same thing, and only bring along their team. basically, elfman and evergreen, and gray and juvia are like the only couples to have a ceremony.

fairy tail has a lot of lawsuits and property damage bills, and freed, levy, and lucy almost had collective aneurysms trying to get through and organize them all. the guild has never spent more money on coffee.

lucy eventually takes advantage of the fact she has a very powerful kick and gets a black belt in taekwondo, a type of martial art that focuses mostly on kicking. her raw leg power combined with knowing what she's doing AND her heels? deadly.

(cw for child abuse on this one, skip if needed) minerva has such a massive appetite because jiemma would starve her both as punishment but also to "make her stronger." her body just never feels full, like the food will be taken away from her again.

sabertooth members calling minerva "m'lady" started as a serious thing to show respect, but now it's a running joke where everyone is trying to be as obnoxious as possible with it.

it's kind of implied that rogue is (at least) sexually attracted to minerva, and the fact larcade's "find out who's a virgin" spell hits him right after seeing minerva being affected by it, makes me think he lost his virginity to her. it was awkward and objectively bad but he's still glad it happened. sting drank an entire bottle of tequila when he found out about it.

getting 1 v. 2-d by natsu was the biggest ego crash sting and rogue have ever, and will ever experience. they will never be able to live it down. it will follow them to their graves. please never talk about how egotistical they used to be, they will cry from embarrassment.

minerva calls everyone's boyfriend their "boy toy" because, and i quote, "i don't respect men."

juvia is the best gift giver you will ever meet. she just has a way of always knowing what's perfect for someone, and it's a mutual agreement to always make her go last for gift giving so everyone else feels better about their gift for at least a few minutes.

natsu is the kind of guy to remember something someone said to him once in passing and randomly bring it up weeks or months later. his brain is a library of miniscule information about the people around him.

gajeel talks trash about levy's romance novels but will also be sneaking peeks over her shoulder and trying not to react to various moments. he is deeply invested in the plot twists and the main characters' romance.

while he's traveling, gildarts will buy cana a gift from every town his visits, which results in him having about a pound of knickknacks, clothes, and alcohol for her when he comes back. she pretends to be embarrassed about it but she secretly loves being spoiled by him.

gildarts and cana go on daddy-daughter dates and she'd rather drink bleach than let other people find out about it. gildarts is just happy to be there.

natsu and cana have had this conversation: "so, are we, like, siblings now?" "excuse me?" "because, like, gildarts is basically my dad, and he's your dad. so..." "we are not siblings, natsu." "okay, didn't know you liked being an only child so much." "go fuck yourself."

gildarts knows lucy is going to be his daughter in law. he doesn't know if it's going to be from her marrying natsu or from her marrying cana.

wakaba would sneak teenage gray cigarettes. erza, mirajane, and makarov almost killed him when they found out about it.

mira is aroace, feeling absolutely no romantic attraction and being sex repulsed, but she is absolutely obsessed with other peoples' love lives. she thrives on it.

lisanna is fairy tail's resident lesbian and is a little in love with every girl she meets.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Successful Hunt in Heaven | React | Spoilers | Full Summary

Alright ya'll here I am.

And it's bad news from me.

I...did not particularly enjoy the story whatsoever.

TLDR if you don't wanna read my entire react: Don't waste your seals, just wait the three months

Now, some of ya'll may like it cause you're that big of a Satan stan, but he has a ship with my OC and a fankid and I'm STILL shaking my head at this. Like why ya'll do him like this, PB?

What I will do different for this react is, basically bullet summary as most of this card is what it is and then give ya'll some highlight screenshots that I found mildly amusing.

What goes down from the prologue(part 1):

MC is feeling cocky about being in Gabriel's body and almost fucks it up but saves themselves. Because of that cockiness though, they are literally just brain mush the entire story.

Things to note, that Satan was in restraints, those restraints were tight but not tight enough to where he could still speak and move enough. He was cussin' MC out ya'll like how he should cause he hates Gabriel.

I would want to say that this is a good revenge potential but it wasn't. Essentially MC didn't disclose that it was them who was disguised. The entire time Satan believed it was Gabriel who was touching him, jacking him off, and allowing lower angels to touch his dick. Even if it's just the tip.

MC even went as far as to punch him in the stomach? Punched him good until he was close to coming.

MC wanted to take off the chastity belt, which to me? Nah. You wouldn't even know how to use Gabriel's dick, let's not. Couldn't even properly cum or jack off.

Turns out though that Gabriel is not conscious this entire time. He has no idea what's happening.

Long story short, Satan is getting molested, punched, and traumatized in front of an audience thinking he had feelings for Gabriel and that's why he was aroused and reacting. I don't even feel like the specifics here because it was just that rushed and bland of writing for this. What happens in the end, mind you this is very last part of the story. Satan finally realizes it's MC. The spell breaks, they go home on his motorcycle, and he only went there because there was an angel with MC's hair color.

Ya'll. Satan is not that fucking dumb. Sorry not sorry, but like he can be a goof ball, but he'd never mistake an angel for MC in his entire life time. That wasn't Satan, that was his lost twin Sam or something.

What I expected:

I honestly thought this was going to be similar to Levi's story. Satan got captured due to being weakened by something, perhaps a new trap the angels set up, the restraints being so good he couldn't escape, and he and MC roleplaying in front of the angels and they get so lost in it that's what breaks the spell.

I wanted Satan to be like "MC looks like Gabriel, which pisses me the fuck off but I know it's them so I'm fucking horny as hell and I just want to feel good. This is how it would feel being teased and licked by an angel..."

But nope. Got MC being badly written, pretty much going in on Satan and playing into their own weird kink of pretending to be a high rank angel while punching, and jacking off Satan. There wasn't really any point to it half the time, if Satan hadn't of clocked them in the end, he would have never known it was them at all even though MC was being very sloppy on acting like how Gabriel would torture someone.

Good Parts:

Satan's expressions, and Satan cussing MC out thinking that they are Gabriel.

Satan questioning his attraction, he just can't place why "Gabriel's" touch is arousing him and he can't understand why this angel he hates so much looks so turned on by this moment.

Satan pretty much saying at the end that he's going to go in on MC's ass when they get home. Like I'm pretty sure all holes will be s o r e because MC insulted him, punched him, slapped him, choked him, made him cum forcefully like three times from both dick and horns.

Satan's dick looked pretty in the position he was in and I liked his little red underwear. Click here for the goodies~

The okay?? why?? parts:

MC allowing the angels to touch him. Gabriel for one if he was in character would never allow them to touch his "prey". Like? What and who was this for?

Satan not being able to tell who it was for the majority of the story. He's a King tbh, so he should have seen through the spell.

Satan being a dummy dum and getting himself kidnapped because he thought MC was captured by mistaking an ANGEL that looks nothing like them....

Being robbed of the Satan's potential in the roleplay scenario. Imagine if you will-

Satan knowing that it's MC, and he's trying so hard to make it believable that he doesn't like any of what's going on. At the same time, MC is doing an impersonation of Gabriel so well he can't help but get upset. Why is MC so good at this? Do they actually like Gabriel enough to mimic him? Fuck that. And fuck being kidnapped and in these restraints. He wants MC so badly. To pull off that charade and to get fucked so deep there's nothing but rage flowing from the both of them. And did he really find some attraction to the angel? FUCK THAT. What a stupid thought, so stupid it pisses him off too. Only MC can make him feel a series of rage and jealously swirled so deliciously he wants nothing but that in his veins.

MC's personality being even more unsavory than usual. If ya'll compared to how they act in Levi's torture card you'd swear they were just suddenly taking on some odd sadistic personality that has nothing to do with them nor Gabriel. Er'body was confused.

The audience, the angels, Satan, just...lol

Overall Rating:

4.5/10

Like...idk ya'll the fourth Satan card was just a let down. The other three he has were so much better. Even the adore mode was ass. I wanted to see him moving, cussin' and spitting. The VA put his entire foot in this and it doesn't match Satan's energy in secret club at all. Might as well just play it on SFW mode if you wanna hear his VA moan some fierce in your ear.

Nice homage to Hellraiser, could have used a cooler name imo but OH WELL. Pinhead would be shaking his head rn.

NOW don't get me wrong, some of ya'll may like this. And if you do, please don't @ me or come for me as it's not that serious. I was frankly bored ya'll. IMO It's not worth wasting your seals just wait for it to be available in the regular banner. My expectations for how Satan would react in this moment was downplayed. Even if I felt like shipping the angels with the kings, this just didn't hit.

Live photo of one of Ronove's cats disapproving.

OKAY Screenshot time~

He is legitimately so pissed off ya'll I was like OH

Yeah because you were just goin' off the rails....it's a good thing you at least had the angels hang in the back otherwise they would have clocked you MC.

I just like his face here. Mhm mhm.

Apparently ya'll that is the face of a sinner. Satan is a filthy filthy sweat covered sinner (laugh with me because lmao)

I'm crying. So it's just shrinking, growing, shrinking, growing, just being confused as fuck the poor wang noodle.

Oh Satan....he's so angry the poor bby. This would be hotter if he was irritated by something I truly did. Lol

At the same time, I feel these lines would be good for that roleplay...

I'm crying because Gabriel doesn't talk like this and yet Satan still hasn't caught on yet.

Now Satan, don't discredit virgins...some of them be knowin' a lot more than you think. (right now tho "MC/Gabe" is kissing him through the gag)

again. gimmie dis face. he does the eye roll orgasm so well.

here we go again with that fishy smell thing

Gabriel in his sub conscious rn

He can get away with calling us a bitch. I'm a bad bitch. A baddie. I'll insult you any day Satan just because. He'd call it foreplay.

LMAOOOOOOO

So that ends with the screenshots ya'll. You see how there wasn't really much to show because it's basically just what I said in the summary? But anyways, I did get a peek at a couple things that bumps the rating up for me to a 4.5....(note the changes)

Date Story/Chat Summary:

This time around Satan sustained more damage and the marks left behind are staying longer than usual. Sitri thinks this is a problem, Satan don't give a shit because MC gave them to him.

Satan getting jealous of MC requesting him to get healed because he thinks they learned it from another healing devil is cute.

He's very cuddly, we knew this but it's just nice to see this again.

MC and Satan have a talk about what happened up in Heaven and well it's also nice to see him be serious about his feelings and how MC should feel, etc. Mature Satan is mature.

He can smell when MC is horny btw. Idk this is so hot of him. But I also always had a HC that all devils could smell just about anything. When your cycle is coming, ovulation, other bodily things.

He likes the fact that MC was confident enough to insult him so boldly even though he pointed out they were in Gabriel's body.

He can't stand it that Paimon sews his decapitated teddy bear heads, the cotton is supposed to leak. At the same time he likes that Paimon adds sparkly beads for the eyes so it looks like they "glow"

His hand are so pretty with those sharp nails.

He has so many photos of his motorcycle he has two phones. He loves his bike that much to where he refers to it as his lover.

He doodles when he's bored at meetings.

That does it folks!!!! As per usual, if you've made it to the end thank you thank you to my dear moot/friends who help fuel my delusions and ramblings. Without ya'll my blog would just be...whelp a bunch of Astra in your face lmao (honestly tho she should be she's great)

Stay lovely, love up on your bois, -your lovely admin💖💕

[sempredomingo]

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

i literally have no idea what this is, or where it came from but here's a thing:

pairing: steddie | word count: 2,043 | rated: M (will be E in next part)

Eddie Munson was not Steve’s bi awakening, okay? He wasn’t.

He just happened to be standing in the middle of Family Video dressed like his bi awakening (and it didn’t help that he already had an embarrassingly huge crush on the guy).

Steve had come out of the back none the wiser to what he was about to see, glancing up from the tape he was carrying for someone who’d called earlier. His eyes met big, clunky, worn-in cowboy boots, long lean legs (and very nice ass–damn, they’ve got one of those stupid bandanas in their back pocket too) in classic Levis so tight they looked like they were painted on, the back of leather jacket (--hold on), and the back of a head of long, wild-looking, sun-kissed, yet still dark hair.

After his seconds-long oogling, Robin, who was chatting with Bon Jovi’s twin at the counter, glances behind him at Steve. 

Bon Jovi tries to turn and look back without taking himself off the counter, but when that insane hair of his gets in the way, he shoves up off the counter and spins on one heel.

“Munson? Where the hell’ve you been?” Steve thanks whatever it is up there that the surprise of seeing Eddie again temporarily suspends his frazzled ‘hothothothothot’ thoughts about his friend enough to respond normally.

“Damn, Stevie, been gone all summer and all I get is a ‘The hell’ve you been’?”

“Of course, asshole, you’ve been gone All. Summer.” Steve says, finally getting to the counter himself and dropping the tape on it. He scoops Eddie up in a tight hug, one long won from their month of recovery post-Vecna.

Everything went fine, Vecna was dead, the upside-down sealed away, but they hadn’t all left unscathed. Specifically Steve and Eddie, both of whom ended their spring break from hell nursing bat wounds, and closer than ever before. 

Then, after finally graduating, being hailed a hero for “saving” Max and Dustin from the real killer (thank you, suspicious government people), Eddie was hauled out of Hawkins by his Uncle, the former of whom got just enough time for a quick ‘Gotta go, Wayne wants me helping out at the farm this summer,’ before he was gone.

“I told you I would be, Harrington,” Eddie says once Steve sets him back down on his own two feet.

“So what happened? Where’ve you really been?”

Eddie raises a brow, “At the farm. Like I said.”

“Okay, well, excuse me for thinking it may have been the same 'farm' my parents said my childhood dog was sent off to.”

“You think my Uncle was gonna take me upstate to shoot me dead?”

“Obviously not, dumbass, but what other goddamn reason would you, Eddie Munson, have to be on a farm. Like with cows and stuff?”

“Though the sun did you some favors,” Robin cuts back in.

And isn’t that the truth. Up close now (and letting himself look), Steve could see how Eddie’s normally dark hair and pale complexion were now sun-kissed and so well be-freckled that it sent his stomach for another rollercoaster ride.

“Yeah, Munson, you planning on keeping the blond around?” Steve teases, picking up a strand of sun-lightened hair off Eddie’s shoulder and giving it a short tug.

“I don’t know, I’m not really used to how light��”

Whatever Eddie says after that is completely drowned out by ringing in Steve’s ears because Eddie stretches an arm up to paw at the top of his head and he’s wearing a crop top.

He’s wearing a goddamn crop top under his jacket, some band tee that looks like he’d hacked off himself..and are those abs?? God damn he is so fine. It’s not fucking fair. Who does he think he is running around like Steve’s own personal wet dre–

“Holy shit.”

He couldn’t help it. The words just fell out of his mouth.

“H-holy shit, you’ve got abs, Eddie!”

‘Thank you, Robin.’ Steve thinks at her absently since his brain is completely preoccupied..

“Wha–? Oh! Yeah! Check me out, huh?!” Eddie grins wide, lifting his shirt just a bit more to show off the toned expanse of stomach. 

Steve’s mouth goes bone dry.

“And that’s not all,” Eddie says. He drops his shirt and shucks the jacket off his shoulders.

His very well sculpted shoulders.

And arms.

And oh god those hands. Steve could hear the soft scrapes of rough callouses against the leather when Eddie threw the garment onto the counter beside him and his only thought was about how they might feel against his skin..

Still beaming, Eddie flexes one, then both arms, his biceps bunching under more tanned skin. “I got a lot of ‘lifting heavy things and putting them back down again’ in over the summer.” he continues, “I’m probably stronger than you now, Harrington.”

“Ha haha, right..yeah. Robin, can you excuse us for a second?”

Steve doesn’t wait for her response before he grabs Eddie around one of those absolutely delicious biceps and hauls him through the store and out the back door.

He lets a grinning Eddie go as soon as they’re through the back door, taking a couple steps away towards the woods behind their building, and trying to calm down with measured breaths.

When he does turn around, Eddie’s stood away from the door, one hip cocked out and his arms crossed across his chest.

The grin on his face has melted down into a smirk though, and the look in his eyes is less teasing and more cautious.

Steve steps back up close to the other man, and literally starts to circle him like a shark. Scanning his eyes up and down Eddie’s body as he does.

“What’s goin’ on Stevie? Looking for some style tips?” he jokes.

Steve doesn’t answer, and starts his second cycle around his friend.

“You know, maybe get rid of some of those polos?” Eddie sounds just a bit more unsure this time.

Steve’s behind Eddie’s right shoulder when he speaks again. “You think you can barge back in after all this time, looking like that,” Steve comes around to stand in front of Eddie again, “And not expect me to react?”

Eddie grins wickedly again, and steps back at the same time Steve steps forward.

“Expect me to not want to devour you whole?”

“You expect me to want that, big boy?” Eddie says as he’s pressed between Steve and the closed back door.

Steve rears back immediately, “Shit, Eddie, I’m sor–”

“‘Cause I do.” Eddie grabs hold of Steve and spins them around, pressing the younger man back against the door instead. “Ohhh boy, do I want that.”

Steve groans as Eddie slots their hips together, “You really are a big boy, aren’t you sunshine?”

“The things I’m gonna do to you..” Steve growls out, Eddie’s jaw snapping open with his words.

They’re both startled away from the back door when Robin bangs on it, “You’ve got five minutes to get back in here before I drag you back in! It’s Friday and we’re about to get busy!” she yells through the door.

He hears her converse squeak on the tile inside the door as she heads back to the front, then chances a look at Eddie.

He looks as red as Steve feels, from the bit of his face he can see from behind the hair he holds over it.

“Eddie–”

“It’s cool, Harrington,” he wheezes out a dry laugh, glancing over at him, “Better get in for the rush before Robin comes back.

He reaches for the handle again, but is stopped short by a hand on his wrist.

“Listen, Eddie.” Steve says, giving the other man’s arm a soft tug to get him to turn around. “I may have gotten a little…over enthusiastic…”

Eddie’s face scrunches up in a weird way.

“No! Not in a bad way, unless you weren’t as into it as I was–doesn’t matter! Point is, I may have gone a little crazy, but I wasn’t faking it.”

“I don’t think guys can fake it, Steve-o.” Eddie jokes softly, a small smile on his face.

Steve chuckles just as soft, “Shut up man, you know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“I think you do.”

“I dunno Steve," Eddie shrugs sarcastically, "You’re quite an enigma.”

“Okay, fine, here’s it spelled out for you: I am super into you.” Steve puts up a finger to stop whatever it is Eddie was about to say, “Hold on– I am bisexual, have been for a while and would like to try this..with you. If you want.”

“You gotta be more specific on what ‘this’ is, sunshine.” Eddie steps close to him once again.

Steve smirks, walking Eddie backward to the door again with both hands on his waist. Once he’s got him pressed back against the warm metal, he scoops the hair away from Eddie’s ear and holds it out of the way with a hand on the back of his neck.

He leans in, whispering right into Eddie’s ear. “I want to take you apart, Eddie.”

Eddie sucks in a sharp breath and Steve can feel the man’s heart hammering against his own chest.

“I want to suck you down, eat you out, and fuck you into next Tuesday.” He states, nipping on his earlobe for good measure before pulling back. 

Steve takes in Eddie’s flushed face, his eyes blown out they’re almost completely black, his chest heaving.

“I’d also like to totally romance you and date the fuck out of you, but…” he shrugs, grinning as Eddie smacks his chest lightly with a laugh of his own.

“I’m serious though, Eddie. I want this.”

Eddie’s smile falls slightly. “You sure about the whole dating thing, Harrington? You know you can’t date me for real..like in public and shit.”

Steve shrugs, “I know, but… I don’t think I’d survive something casual with you, Eddie.”

Eddie lets out a breath like he’d been punched.

He takes back in a deep breath, then pulls Steve flush to him again.

“I think that sounds amend—-”

Eddie’s forehead smashes into Steve’s nose when Robin shoves the door open behind Eddie.

“Damn! I knew the door was a bad idea.” Steve says, his voice coming out nasally from where he’s pinching at the bridge of his nose.

“Time’s up, Dingus, get your fruity butt inside.”

Eddie chuckles after her, leading Steve inside. “You shouldn’t tip your head back, lean forward and let it drain out.”

“Ugh, you sure? I’ll get blood all over me,”

“I’m sure, sweetheart, I’ve had a few bloody noses in my time.”

“Here,” Robin says once they reach the counter.

Steve takes the offered tissues, and soaks up the small trickle of blood.

“You still wanna date me if my nose is crooked?” he asks Eddie, who’s (sadly) shrugging his coat back on.

He pretends to think for a moment. “Sorry Stevie, that’s a dealbreaker. Even if it was my forehead what done it.”

“Ugh you’re such a dweeb, I don’t know what you see in him, Steve.”

“He’s hot, okay? And he’s still hot even after he rejected me just now.” Steve states matter-of-factly while shoving a wad of tissue into the one nostril still bleeding.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Very.”

“No, you’re gross. You guys are both gross.”

“Oh Birdie, you should've heard the things he was saying to me outside; all ‘Ooh Eddie, your muscles are so big and so is your hair and also your di—’”

“OKAY! That’s enough of that!” Steve cuts him off, pushing the still grinning Eddie toward the door, then, a softer: “Yours or mine after I’m off?” once they’re at the door.

“Definitely yours, unless you want Wayne to be privy to our shenanigans.”

“Yeah, that’s a no. Also, shenanigans? Really? You’re a super dweeb.” Steve smirks, pushing his boyfr— frien— Eddie out the front door. “I’m off at four, see you at five?”

Eddie fumbles backward over the curb but manages to catch himself, “It’s a date, Steve.”

He watches Eddie climb up into his van, and follows its path down the road and out of sight with a dreamy sigh.

“You still have tissues in your nose, Dingus.”

part 2/2 here | and on AO3!

definitely inspired by this post from @sparrowtapes

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Levi: Thanks for letting me think you’d died. Robin: I left my phone in my locker. Levi: What happened? Robin: I ended up in A&E for an asthma attack-.. I think I’ve had it for a while n’ blamed anxiety or whatever. Levi: Did you get an inhaler n’ stuff? Robin: [sighs] Yeah.. so cool. Levi: It’s not a big deal though, right? Robin: I don’t know, it can be? [Robin and Levi shrugged in tandem, neither particularly interested in dwelling on such things] Levi: C’mon, all you’ve done is sulk recently. Robin: Yeah, well… Levi: Let’s go out. Robin: I’m not allowed tonight-.. and I have homework. Levi: Since when do you care about homework? Robin: Since mom n’ dad saw my last report card? Levi: I’ll do it for you. Robin: Yeah? Levi: Yeah, don’t get used to it though. … Levi: You’ve gotta start showing how you work stuff out or they’re gonna keep taking marks off you. Robin: Why does it matter if the answer is right? Levi: They’ll think you’re cheating. Robin: Maybe I am. Byrd: Just checking you’re still alive! Robin: Obviously. Wren: I bet that’s Robin’s homework. Levi: Mind your own, squirt. Byrd: You’re not gonna die, are you? Wren: No, stupid-.. that girl in our class has had asthma for ages and she’s fine. Byrd: Oh, does that mean you’ll get out of doing PE too? Robin: Maybe. Byrd: I guess it’s not all bad then, you’re rubbish at that. Levi: [snorts] See? Silver linings. Robin: Uh-huh, thanks guys…

[leaping-laelaps-art]

The archeocete Perucetus colossus dives through a coastal bloom of jellyfish in the Pisco Basin (southern Peru), some time during the Eocene (with bonus multiview).

I originally intended to add epibionts to this reconstruction (reflecting the specialized communities found on many living whales, especially baleen whales). Yet, interestingly, it appears that most animal epibionts and ectoparasites of modern cetaceans, such as whale barnacles (Hayashi et al. 2013) and remoras (Friedman et al. 2013), only appeared in the Neogene or late Paleogene, or have a poorly known (co-)evolutionary history, like whale lice (Pfeiffer 2009, Iwasa-Arai & Serejo 2018) and pennellids (large parasitic copepods) (Hermosilla et al. 2015). So, no epibionts* for big lad Perucetus!

References and notes about the reconstruction:

*animal epibionts. Unicellular eukaryotes like diatoms were most likely present on early cetaceans, given their prevalence on modern large marine animals (Ashworth et al. 2022). Of course, it is possible that other animals (i.e., early, less specialized representatives of modern groups, or different taxa altogether) were also already exploiting the surfaces offered by these early whales; however, this remains entirely speculative.

The reconstruction of Perucetus proposed in its original description (Bianucci et al. 2023) includes some rather odd (if interesting) choices about soft tissues, including limbs with webbed and distinguishable fingers, and a manatee-like tail. While these choices might be defendable in light of the rather basal status of Perucetus among cetaceans, I opted for a more derived look based on the assumption that fully marine cetaceans like basilosaurids would have probably rapidly acquired hydrodynamically favorable adaptations, pushing them towards a more familiar Neoceti-like appearance (even though Perucetus itself was likely a poor swimmer (Bianucci et al. 2023), it seems likely to me that this was a secondarily acquired trait, given the less extreme morphology of other basilosaurids).

Reconstruction in the multiview scaled to ~18 m in length after the estimations of Bianucci et al. (2023).

References:

Ashworth, M. P., Majewska, R., Frankovich, T. A., Sullivan, M., Bosak, S., Filek, K., Van de Vijver, B., Arendt, M., Schwenter, J., Nel, R., Robinson, N. J., Gary, M. P., Theriot, E. C., Stacy, N. I., Lam, D. W., Perrault, J. R., Manire, C. A., & Manning, S. R. (2022). Cultivating epizoic diatoms provides insights into the evolution and ecology of both epibionts and hosts. Scientific Reports, 12(1), Article 1. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-19064-0

Bianucci, G., Lambert, O., Urbina, M., Merella, M., Collareta, A., Bennion, R., Salas-Gismondi, R., Benites-Palomino, A., Post, K., de Muizon, C., Bosio, G., Di Celma, C., Malinverno, E., Pierantoni, P. P., Villa, I. M., & Amson, E. (2023). A heavyweight early whale pushes the boundaries of vertebrate morphology. Nature, 620(7975), Article 7975. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-023-06381-1

Friedman, M., Johanson, Z., Harrington, R. C., Near, T. J., & Graham, M. R. (2013). An early fossil remora (Echeneoidea) reveals the evolutionary assembly of the adhesion disc. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 280(1766), 20131200. https://doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2013.1200

Hayashi, R., Chan, B. K. K., Simon-Blecher, N., Watanabe, H., Guy-Haim, T., Yonezawa, T., Levy, Y., Shuto, T., & Achituv, Y. (2013). Phylogenetic position and evolutionary history of the turtle and whale barnacles (Cirripedia: Balanomorpha: Coronuloidea). Molecular Phylogenetics and Evolution, 67(1), 9–14. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ympev.2012.12.018

Hermosilla, C., Silva, L. M. R., Prieto, R., Kleinertz, S., Taubert, A., & Silva, M. A. (2015). Endo- and ectoparasites of large whales (Cetartiodactyla: Balaenopteridae, Physeteridae): Overcoming difficulties in obtaining appropriate samples by non- and minimally-invasive methods. International Journal for Parasitology: Parasites and Wildlife, 4(3), 414–420. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijppaw.2015.11.002

Pfeiffer, C. J. (2009). Whale Lice. In W. F. Perrin, B. Würsig, & J. G. M. Thewissen (Eds.), Encyclopedia of Marine Mammals (Second Edition) (pp. 1220–1223). Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-373553-9.00279-0

[20-th-centurygirl]

nsfw alphabet

charles leclerc x reader

a/n: you all loved my levi one so i thought i'd do one for charles 🤭 i have also never written for an f1 driver so pls be nice ☹️

navigation masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

king of aftercare idc ! literally will not rest until he's pampered you and you're asleep. he could be falling asleep but would still make sure he's helped you shower, cleaned up and got you something to eat :(

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Charles is the boob man ! always has to be touching them in some way, falls asleep either lying on them or holding them idc

on him it's his arms and hands ! he knows how much you love them so he's always flexing them or showing off the veins on purpose bc he's annoying like that. he loves it when he catches you just staring at his hands or absentmindedly playing with his fingers.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

loves finishing on your boobs or in you 🤭

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

secretly really wants to catch you touching yourself, preferably in one of his t shirts

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he knows what he's doing but he's also not super experienced

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary or cowgirl. he's a simple man. if he can see your face when he's fucking you he's happy

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

depends on his mood. if he's stressed from a race he's super serious but if it was just super lazy soft sex he'd be all giggly bc he can't believe your his and you make him super giddy

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

honestly i think he'd have very little to no hair

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

so so romantic it's ridiculous. i'm talking holding your hand, kissing all over you, telling him he loves you and that you're beautiful every 5 seconds

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

very rarely gets himself off when you're both at home bc you're almost always ready to help him. if he's away he'll facetime you or go through the photos he has of you 🤭

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

charles seems quite vanilla. i think he'd be into letting you take control though

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

always at your own house bc he knows it's private but he wouldn't say no to car sex 🤭

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything. you could just smile at him and he needs you straight away

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything super rough bc there's no way he's gonna hurt his girl

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

charles leclerc created the term munch idc. he literally cannot get enough of being between your thighs and it just sends him crazy knowing he can turn you into a complete mess with just his tongue

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

normally just so so soft and loving. Charles always makes sure to take his time so you know just how much he appreciates and loves you

but if he's had a bad race he's so rough and will just casually manhandle you. you always wake up the next morning covered in hickies and bruises

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a quickie before and after a race 🤭

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's not a big risk taker bc he knows his career could be ruined and he also doesn't want to embarass you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think he'd have 1 or 2 rounds a few times in the day instead of loads of rounds in one day

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

in the start of your relationship he was completely against them but after a few months he changed his mind bc he knows how long you're actually apart and he needs to make sure his girls always getting the best treatment 🤭

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

always cracks super early when he's teasing you bc he ends up feeling bad ☹️

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

isn't dead silent but he also doesn't make loads of noise so he can focus on the noises you're making

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

is obsessed with marking you up ! loves leaving hickies on you and he goes crazy when you give him some

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

massive.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

soo high he literally can't ever get enough of you

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

this man loves a nap so once he knows you're okay and comfortable he's snoozing straight away