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*Silent footsteps approaching.*

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when my SIL was pregnant with her little one a good few months ago she was pretty bored/frustrated cos she likes to get out and about/do stuff but ofc she wasn't really able to do all that much and she said to me like ohhhh you'll be fine during your pregnancy cos most of your hobbies are "sit down" hobbies like games/writing etc etc and i was totally like yeah! it'll be fine........ but i don't think i've ever played or written less lmao i can barely string a regular coherent sentence together, never mind write any and i feel so brain dead that the thought of playing games just makes my singular brain cell spontaneously combust.. this is me 90% of the time now

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Party

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[phone vibrating] Archie: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone on social media when they don’t post any pictures of themselves and have a completely random username? Wren: yeah, it keeps weirdos like you away Archie: Well, it failed. Wren: good for u Archie: I thought persistence was an admirable trait? Wren: stalker behaviour tbh.. bye … [Wren locked her phone, hesitating slightly; maybe she should’ve tormented the guy a little more before blocking him completely, or maybe he’d just wanted to apologise and she shouldn’t have been so impulsive-.. oh well, it was too late now] … Archie: What the-.. ugh! Madison: Did someone catfish you again? Archie: You can talk, slathering mountains of that nonsense on your face every day. [Madison snickered as Archie huffed and tossed his phone across the coffee table carelessly, sending it clattering to the floor; her cousins’ ridiculous outbursts never failed to amuse her] Beverly: Archibald! Archie: Oh, be quiet. Beverly: [tuts] Your attitude is foul, mister. … Wren: Meh. Oscar: [yelling] Wren, what the hell are you doing up there?! Wren: COMING!

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i haven't played much recently.. but at least Oscar is still living his best life 💦

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Alex: Isn’t prom supposed to be the best night ever? Robin: I think the movies just kinda romanticise it, to be honest. Alex: Let’s go poke around backstage or something… … Robin: Let’s go. Alex: Why, what’s wrong? Robin: I just need some air… … Alex: Is he okay? Robin: He’s just having a panic attack. Levi: [pants] Just?! Robin: You’re alive, aren’t you? Levi: I thought I was having a fucking heart attack. Robin: Yeah, they’re super fun like that. Levi: I knew I shouldn’t have come. Robin: We were just saying the same. Alex: What happened? Levi: Doesn’t matter-.. cat’s out of the bag, I guess. Alex: Oh, maybe it’s for the best? Levi: Maybe, but I was kinda banking on the football team for a scholarship one day… Robin: Let’s worry about that later, wanna get outta here? Alex: Ugh.. yes, please. Levi: Okay.

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[stairs creaking] Levi: What’re you doing? Wren: I could ask you the same-.. this is my house, after all. … Wren: Love the fact that dad shared his insomnia with me. … Wren: What’s up? Levi: Nothing. Wren: If you say so… [tv chatter] Levi: Penny kinda broke up with me… Wren: Only kinda? That’s a shame. … Wren: Don’t you think you could do better..? Levi: Than Penny? It’s a miracle she even acknowledges me.

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[dogs barking] Penny: So, you don’t live in a gated community that doesn’t allow guests? Levi: No. Penny: And your dad’s not a banker? Levi: No. Penny: You’re not rich then? Levi: We’re barely hanging onto middle class, our water got shut off the other week. Penny: And you’re seriously friends with that weirdo, Robin? Levi: He’s not a fucking-… Penny: [huffs] Whatever! Is there any part of your life you haven’t lied about? Levi: Uh, I guess I still like school stuff, y’know? Like science and math or whatever. Penny: Wait, you don’t even like football? Levi: No, I’m just sorta good at it. I can play the piano though, but I’d rather learn guita-… Penny: I don’t care! Levi: I never meant to lie for so long, I just didn’t think you’d wanna talk to me if you knew the truth… [Penny paced back and forth; her features tainted with disgust whenever she glanced at Levi] Penny: You’ve literally lied about yourself the whole time I’ve known you-.. I don’t even think I do know you! How am I supposed to decide if I want to talk to you or not if I don’t know who you are?! Levi: We could start over, if you want? Penny: Or, you could find someone who likes dweebs that never cut their gross hair or wash their face and smell of grease and lie all the time! Levi: You don’t think that about me-.. do you? Penny: Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, who knows?! Isn’t it fun being lied to? Levi: You’re a fucking hypocrite-.. don’t act like you’re perfect, ‘cause you’re not! [Penny scoffed; she wasn’t about to let Levi turn the tables on her, this was about what he’d lied about, not her] Levi: Please don’t go, I’ll-… Penny: I don’t even want to look at you right now, or ever. Levi: Penny, please… … [Levi swallowed the lump in his throat as his mother hastily took Penny’s spot in the doorway. She didn’t even try to hide the fact she’d been listening] Nadia: Well, that was a disaster-.. self-inflicted, by the sounds of it. Levi: Get out. Nadia: Aren’t you going to go after her? Levi: Get out. [Levi’s voice wobbled unsteadily, failing to sound half as assertive as he wanted to] Nadia: You forget whose house this is, sweetheart. Levi: Whatever. [Nadia rolled her eyes with a dismissive titter as Levi easily gave up and slithered past her] Nadia: You’re just like your father, pathetic and unsuccessful as a result.

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Manager: Levi, tills! Levi: But-… Manager: They’ll wait ‘til later, move your ass! [Levi sighed wearily, tossing his greasy rag upon the counter with a classic amount of teenage enthusiasm] Levi: I barely know how to work the tills. Manager: Well, you’re the only one on shift with half a brain and Mel called in sick, so today’s your lucky day-.. again. … Bianca: I promise it’s not as bad as it looks… [Penny grimaced, she’d smell like burgers for a week if she so much as stepped foot in such a disgusting place] Penny: I can’t eat carbs, Bianca. Bianca: I literally saw you eating waffles for breakfast the other day. Penny: Do we have to? Bianca: My sister insisted on having her dumb party here and it was actually pretty good, I swear! … [overlapping chatter] Bianca: [giggling] Hi, stranger. I’ll have… [Levi stared straight through Bianca; his gaze locked on Penny’s look of utter horror and contempt. How was he supposed to talk his way out of this one-.. what on earth was she even doing here?] Penny: This is where you work? Levi: No, I’m just-.. I, uh-… Penny: Ew. Levi: Wait! Penny: Don’t touch me. Levi: I can explain, okay? I-… Manager: Levi! Levi: One second! Manager: Erm, no-.. leave those poor girls alone and get back to work, there’re people waiting. [Levi remained rooted to the spot, impervious to the chatter around him and his managers impatient yelling] Levi: I’m gonna throw up… Manager: Oh, for god’s sake-.. not there! … Levi: Penny! Penny: Go back to work, Levi. Levi: My parents just wanted to teach me the value of money or whatever-.. I don’t want to work here. [Levi wrung his hands together awkwardly, even he didn’t believe his own words anymore. Sure, the Grease Trap was disgusting and the hours sucked, but at least it got him out of the house. His co-workers were kinda fun too, and he got free food most nights; hell, even his manager treated him fairly and somewhat appreciated him] Penny: I know I’m not the cleverest person ever, but if you think I’m stupid enough to believe that… Levi: You’re not stupid. Penny: And since when did you need glasses?! Levi: [sighs] Can you just give me a chance to explain everything? Penny: Why, so you can carry on lying and avoiding me? I think I’m over-… Levi: Trust me one last time, then you can decide, please..?

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Alex: Uh, hey… Harry: What do you want? Alex: Nothing, I just-.. we haven’t really spoken since the party, so… Harry: Yeah, ‘cause you told me to leave you alone. Alex: I know, but maybe you should just ignore everything I say. [Harry raised an eyebrow in compliant confusion, saying nothing more] Alex: I didn’t mean… [Alex trailed off, making a nervous noise half between a squeak and a laugh] Alex: Not literally, y’know? Alex: Okay, so don’t ignore everything I say, more like-… [Harry slammed his locker shut and clutched his head restlessly as Alex rambled on] Harry: Ugh, you confuse the hell outta me, Alex-.. I don’t want anything to do with you! [Alex flexed her sweaty palms fitfully, growing hot with a mixture of rage and embarrassment as Harry stormed off. Why did she always make such a mess of every social interaction beyond small talk, why did she have to think so hard before uttering a single word to anyone? No one else had to] [It wasn’t fair…] [A few scattered gasps echoed throughout the now quiet corridor as Alex slammed her fist into Harry’s locker] … Robin: Wait! Alex: Leave me alone. Robin: Alex, stop! Alex: I said, go away! It’s not safe to be around me, okay? Robin: What’re you talking about? Alex: I just… [Alex held back a sigh, she should’ve known Robin wouldn’t be dissuaded so easily-.. she wasn’t sure whether to be frustrated or grateful that her words had no effect on him] Robin: Everyone lashes out sometimes, it’s not a big deal-.. I don’t care. Alex: But it’s different with me. Robin: I don’t see how. Alex: I don’t either…

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Aren't they cute..? 🤢

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Preston: Nonsense. Archie: I’m telling you; it works every time. Preston: Okay-.. so, what do you do again? Archie: The trick is making look like an accident, right? I’m just minding my own business, all nonchalant-.. then bam! Preston: Bam? Archie: Fall over, play it up, act all dramatic. Preston: Then they just give you their number? Archie: No-.. you’ve gotta work up to that part, dumbass. Preston: Oh. Archie: You’re beyond fucking stupid, aren’t you? That cheerleader is rubbing off on you. Preston: Hey-… Archie: Tell you what, I’ll give you a live demonstration. … [Archie lay where he’d fallen, splayed on his side like a poor, wounded puppy] Wren: Watch were you’re going, fuckwit! Archie: Ow, ow, owwww-… Wren: Are you kidding me? [Archie turned up the theatrics and writhed in “pain”, clutching his wrist as though it might fall apart if he didn’t] Wren: Some of us actually have a brain, y’know? Archie: Wha-… Wren: This is a skate park, not a walk around like a gormless moron and get in the way on purpose park. Archie: Erm, excuse me. Wren: Excuse yourself and get out of the wayyyy, dickbag. … [Preston bit his lip and battled to keep his features neutral as Archie traipsed back over with a scowl] Archie: Shut up. Preston: Maybe next time. Archie: I said, be quiet.

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[clattering – yelling] Levi: WREN! Wren: Having fun? Levi: Always-.. you got any smokes? Wren: Not many. Florence: You look old enough to get your own! Levi: Well, I’m not. Wren: Dad’s gonna notice if I keep stealing ‘em too often. Levi: Just one? Wren: Oka-… Florence: Only in exchange for a free burger. Levi: [sighs] One second. Florence: What? … Wren: You won’t get fired, will you? Levi: I’ll just pay for it if anyone notices. [Wren squinted, lamely grasping the pilfered burger she didn’t even want] Levi: It’s fine-.. I should get back though. Wren: Yeah, see ya. Florence: Later. … Florence: Ohhhh, wait-.. you’re totally diggin’ him, aren’t you? Wren: What, no! Florence: C’mon. Wren: I’m not! He’s just my brother’s stupid friend, I’ve known him since forever. Florence: So? Wren: So, he’s practically family. Florence: But you’re not blood related, right? Wren: Obviously not, but that doesn’t automatically mean I have a crush on him, Florence-.. god! Florence: Okay, okay! Geesh.

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Robin: So, you wanna go to prom? Alex: As in together, or in general? Robin: Erh, either..? Alex: Do you wanna go? Robin: I dunno. Alex: I love that we’re so decisive. Robin: I just thought it’d be kinda shit, but at the same time I don’t wanna regret not going. Alex: Yeah, same. Robin: So..? Alex: Wanna go together? Robin: Do you? Alex: Robin! Robin: [laughs] Why do I have to make the decision? Alex: ‘Cause I’m making you. Clementine: What is prom? Alex: I guess it’s like a school dance. Clementine: Oh, then you should certainly attend together-.. how precious! Alex: Well, if you insist… [Robin and Alex exchanged a glance, trying not to laugh. He hadn’t really thought about the fact that he wouldn’t much privacy when he’d agreed to move into the attic, but at least Clementine usually kept to herself near her favourite window] [Still, Robin made a mental note to figure out how he could encourage her to roam a little bit further, or at least put up a curtain in the meantime…]

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"y'all better be happy, 'cause my back's fucked" Oscar.. probably

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[screaming] Wren: DAAAAAAAAAD! Oscar: Jesus-.. what?! Wren: Byrd’s doing stuff to his thing in my room! Byrd: Our room-.. and I wasn’t! Wren: Whatever, you’re fucking nasty-.. do it in the shower. Oscar: Don’t do it in the shower. Byrd: Wait, why not? Oscar: Oh my-… Wren: I want my own room. Courtney: We don’t have enough rooms, honey. Ava: Woah, woah! Family meetings are forbidden to commence without me. Wren: This doesn’t concern you, squirt. Ava: You are so rude, everything concerns me. Oscar: What about the attic? Wren: I’m not moving up there, it’s creepy as fuck! Byrd can go up there and be disgusting on his own. Byrd: I’m not going up there either! It’s heebie-jeebie central and full of spiders. Robin: I don’t mind moving to the attic. Ava: DIBS ON THE BIG ROOM! Wren: Yeah, me n’ Ava have always wanted to swap. Byrd: I could have Robin’s room. Oscar: So, literally everyone wants to swap rooms? [Oscar pinched the bridge of his nose as a chorus of “yes’s” assaulted him] Courtney: [laughs] That’s that then. Oscar: Fine, but every single one of you is helping me lug furniture here there n’ fucking everywhere… Ava: Okay, I’ve lost count of how much you and Wren owe the swear jar, so I’ll just take a tenner from you both. Wren: She still owes me a fiver for breaking-… Ava: Shhhhh, gosh!!