#Letter to Self

[leavemeslowly]

I hope you will never experience the heartbreak I am describing. I hope you will find someone who compliments you and cherishes your personality and is not ripping you apart. I hope your heart is light in your chest and you often marvel at the wonderful world surrounding you. I hope you are actively involved in your life and not a mere observer. I wish you all the best. I am writing things down, hoping that you had never experienced these feelings and brokenness that followed. I hope you love and you laugh. You make the world a better place.

[danae-inprogress]

A letter/a gentle reminder to myself

Dear self,

You have the power and the ability to create the life you want to, intend to, and dream of. You are the creator of your reality and you know it.

It’s finally time to step out of your misery for good. For once and forever.

You have potential. You are young. You are healthy. You have money. You are socially acceptable. You are beautiful and you have a personality that constantly improves.

Identify what you don’t like about yourself and accept it. Then, fight it. Then, take it down. Day by day. Step by step. Be patient. Be disciplined. Be hard working. It’s the only way this year.

Do it for yourself. Not for others. Show only what you’re comfortable with. Fuck the rest. It’s truly your time.

Each day find a few things you don’t like and work against them. Become a better person, a better partner, and a better friend. Also, find your strengths.

Finally, and for good… conquer your fucking world. It’s time.

PS. I wrote this short letter to myself on March 13 - a day I felt particularly low and disappointed regarding my goals and manifestations. It oddly helped, and I thought of sharing it here as well.

[old-daylight]

Hold on!

Look how many poems you are yet to write. Look how many beautiful moons you are yet to see. Look how many beautiful pieces of music you have yet to listen. Look how many soothing letters you have yet to write to yourself. Look how many unfinished writings are looking for you to lift your pen for them. Hey, you are yet to dream the most beautiful dream of your life. You are yet to dream of living a life. You are yet to explore the beautiful adventures lying in between life and death. Hold on for a while. Hold on life unfolds itself beautifully. Hold on for a while until you realize that life is too beautiful to miss living it. You will no longer be trapped in this tough feelings for life. Hold on, you will be able to dream of living a life again. You will be able to go into the wildest imaginations of your thoughts again. Just hold on for a while.

HOLD ON, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DREAM AGAIN. PERIODT. 

[dustedmagazine]

SPRINTS — Letter to Self (City Slang)

“This is an exploration of pain, passion, and perseverance.”

Karla Chubb, SPRINTS

After three years of playing during which they released two EPs, the Dublin-based band SPRINTS has issued their first full-length recording, Letter to Self. Rather than reaching for the catharsis of relatively nonspecific raucous vitriol, which typified their inception, SPRINTS uses the LP to zero in on emotional illness and feminist issues: bodily autonomy, shaming and sexual assault among them. Karla Chubb, the band’s singer, guitarist and principal songwriter has crafted songs that capitalize on the band’s capacity for noise-laden yet often melodically memorable music-making, and on her own ability to bellow lyrics with harrowing emotionality. She isn’t the only one shout-singing, and one of my favorite parts of the record is when what seems like one moment to be a chorus of howls will move seamlessly into harmonized, if rough hewn, vocalizing. Guitarist Colm O’Reilly, bassist Sam McCann and drummer Jack Callan are a tight unit that unerringly support the charged rhythms and distressed harmonies that exemplify SPRINTS’s sound.

“Adore, Adore, Adore” has a slow burn with sprechstimme from Chubb in the verse followed by a plaintive chorus,”They never call me b-b-beautiful, they only call me insane.” Like the best of Letter to Self, amid a thicket of distortion, and with the edge of a scream, lies a memorable hook. Another standout is “Heavy,” for which Chubb discusses emotional illness, with the lyrics, “And I can’t sleep, And I can barely breath … Do you ever feel that the room is heavy?” Double-tracked vocals give the chorus a vertiginous demeanor appropriate to the mood, as does the sliding, soaring lead guitar riff on the verse. Similarly, “Shadow of a Doubt” describes an isolated person in unrelenting nervousness. It erupts into a chorus begging for a respite from a siren in their head: “Can you help me stop the screams?”

“A Wreck (A Mess)” is about domestic abuse, in which the female narrator blames herself for being the target of male aggression. But Chubbs’s songs never sound preachy or opine easy bromides as answers for societal ills. The song is filled with nervously repetitive rhythms, gearing up to a chorus in which the narrator loses her moorings. The sentimentality found too often in the media is drenched from the song, leaving its victim isolated, with quiet feedback lulling to end it with a sense of foreboding. “Cathedral” addresses “Catholic guilt,” with a young woman being shamed about relationships and sexuality. Once again, the narrator fights back, unrepentant and willing to call out hypocrisy where she sees it.

The recording closes with the title track, which details the perseverance necessary to survive the previously detailed traumas. “I gave it all, But you were never happy ... If I took my life, would you be happy?” Chubb screams. But the outro is, from a musical standpoint, surprisingly gentle, even hushed. It closes, “I’ve always had the willing, Now I’ll find the way, Any habit can be broken, Any night can become day.” The narrator’s desire for transformation reveals a hopeful, but tenuous ending to an emotionally fraught and musically ironclad journey. One wishes more concept albums were so authentic.

Christian Carey

[shelovesskiez]

To self,

Dear me I hope you'll learn new things, explore the world, don't take things too seriously, spend your time wisely, enjoy your life while livin'. I want you to cherish your loved ones and accept that maybe no one's gonna accompany you forever yet the memories you have are precious and worth keeping. Watch more sunrises,sunsets, spend more time with your loved ones, go to beaches and travel more in future. Don't hold yourself back say what you want, do whatever you like, enjoy the process while being in it. What's the point of having a hurt if you end up being cold? So never lose the warmth you hold if possible,share it. I've many more things to mention but I think learning by experiencing is much better, I hope you'll experience everything. As a quote says - "Men have their weal and woe, parting and meeting and the moon has her dimness and brightness, waxing and waning" .

At one point your shadow will eventually leave you but your soul won't.

[chaunceyandchumleysdad]

I'm kicking off the weekend with my new favorite band from Dublin, Sprints, from their recently released debut album, Letter To Self.

"Can I please be an Up and Comer!"

[deshommesetdesmots]

Parfois, rester immobile, ça signifie surtout ne pas reculer.

Blanche, coincée ici.

[yesimtrashforit]

I graduate high school tomorrow, so I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self.

Dear 13-year-old me,

Hi. It's your senior year self. We made it, kid. We did it. That's the first thing I want you to know. As of me writing this, we are 1 day away from graduating high school and 41 days away from turning 18 years old. I know you would probably have so many questions. That's normal. I know that you are terrified of what the future brings, and that's okay. I just wanted to write to you, because without you, I wouldn't be here. I mean, obviously I wouldn't be here, but you get my point.

I know that, at this moment, you feel so worthless. Your shoulders hurt from carrying all this pain. It is just so heavy. You feel like everyone is mad at you. You need to know that it is no one's fault. I know this sounds cliche, but life just happens that way sometimes. I'm going to answer the questions of yours that I can, but as always, we still don't have the answers to everything.

Firstly, yes, you're going to be okay. Your definition of okay is different than mine, but that's to be expected. You're alive. You are physically on this planet. That seems impossible, but I swear it's true. No one believes me when I tell them that you genuinely didn't think you would make it to 17. (I really didn't.) That's not surprising, considering that nobody knows what you're going through right now. There's a couple people in your life right now who are taking it upon themselves to brainwash you into thinking you are all these terrible things. That you're selfish, ugly, stupid, hated, whatever horrible insults that I, honestly, don't even remember much of anymore. I wanted to tell you that the biggest shock of all, despite all these wonderful and less wonderful surprises in your life, is that you are worth something. You, yes, you, the young lady who is, for better or for worse, so emotional that it destroys you. You, the girl at the back of the class who is just so overwhelmed by everything. You, the girl who has tried so hard and tripped up so many times that it feels like your whole life is one big error. You, the girl who feels like being friends with you should come with a warning sign, "caution: this is not a stable person." And most of all, you, the girl who tears herself apart to justify mistreatment from others. You are worth something. I wish I could hug you and be there for you. In a way, I am there, deep inside your soul, just.. waiting.

Second, these terrible days do nothing other than proving that you're human and you will make mistakes. Look, kids in middle school are idiots. That's just the simple truth. Everything feels so important. What you look like, what you say, what movies you watch, who you like, who you don't like. The thing is that this stuff doesn't matter. Who you are, right now, at thirteen, is not going to change anything important in your life, except what lessons you learn. It's so cliche at this point, but it is absolutely true that mistakes become lessons learned. However, these lessons often have to be learned over and over again until they really stick. It is detrimental to try and apologize and fix mistakes that haven't been made yet. That's what you're doing now and you need to know that no one, absolutely no one, is ever going to justifiably hate you for it. In life, it's not about whether or not someone hates you or criticizes you. It's whether or not they are justified in this criticism. Hint: most of the time, they aren't. Now, what will you do about it? Will you let it define and puncture every moment you think to yourself that you're pretty, you're smart, etc.? The answer is, for next couple years of your life, yes, we will and we did. Oh, boy, did we. Yes, spoiler alert: what you're going through right now affected your life in a pretty bad way for about three years. I wish I could've prepared you for that. But then again, we wouldn't be as strong today. Are we still emotional as heck to the point where we can sometimes be moved to tears by a video of a cute puppy? Yeah. Are we still so petty that we've had spirals of planning revenge to get back at the people who hurt us? Yeah. Do we still have moments of doubt, regret, guilt, and shame? Absolutely. But can we take an insult or criticism by people whose opinions don't matter? Most of the time, yes. Like a champ. You are much more vulnerable today, but you have at least some wisdom and strength. You're stronger emotionally and I think that's all we wanted at 13.

Third, adults are right except for when they're not. Right now, the adults in your life who are trying their best to help you? They have barely any clue of what it is like to be a thirteen-year-old girl in early 2020. A shocking thing I realized is that the adults in your life are not always right. Especially when it comes to bullying. Oddly, the things adults told me that I thought were wrong were right and vice versa. "Just ignore them. They'll get bored eventually." That may have worked for them, but the kids of today have the determination of a bull chasing the color red. "Fight back. They'll leave you alone after that." We tried, in our own way at least. It didn't do anything. It doesn't do any good to stoop to someone else's level. In the words of a film you haven't seen yet, but will love with all your heart: "The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don't know what's going on." I know it sounds insane. Being kind to the people who try their hardest to put us down. But what I've learned is that standing down is better than fighting back. In the words of a Taylor Swift song you have yet to hear: "Sometimes giving up is the strong thing. Sometimes to run is the brave thing. Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing." It sounds pathetic and sad, but not fighting the fire and letting the flames consume you instead is the best decision when you've tried everything else. You just have to let time do its thing. Time is the most effective medicine.

Fourth, and this is one of the most important lessons you'll learn in life: having no friends will be the greatest thing to ever happen to you in your teenage years. Let's be honest, most of your friends have not been great. Even if they didn't outright insult you or put you down, they were often still not good for you. Don't just settle for anyone who wants to be your friend. Being alone and wallowing in your feelings and sitting by yourself at lunch for several months teaches you a lot. You learn about yourself and who you want to be. Being alone is okay. It's going to be okay. Have standards for who you surround yourself with.

Finally, what now? You got really into cartoons. Taylor Swift is still your role model in everything you do. You got really into movies. You watch a lot of sad ones. You read books when you have the time. You made really great friends. Yeah, you did. These people are the sweetest, funniest, and smartest people you know. You proved everyone wrong. You are smart. You are loved. You are worthy. And I know you're me, but I'm still so proud of you. I'm proud of us. It took a couple years for us to feel okay with ourselves, to love ourselves, but we do. I love our weirdness. I love how meticulously we analyze movies and books. I love how passionate and creative we are. I love how ridiculous excited we get to play trivia games. I love how we have to resist the urge to dance in public to the music in our headphones. I love how obsessed we get with our favorite shows and podcasts to the point where it's all we can think about. I love our awkwardness in social situations that we'd rather not be in. I love how much we try to act all tough and angsty, but we're really just a big heart on the inside. I love the moments we have when we realize how life is good to us. Those moments when we are talking to the kiddos at church and realizing just how small and beautiful the world seems to them. Those moments when we listen to a song that really resonates with us and my heart swells with love for the piece of art I have the privilege of experiencing. Those moments where we look around at everyone and everything in our lives and think "this is enough. It is enough to just be here." We're certainly not perfect. We are messy and crazy sometimes, but there are people who love us despite that.

There are so many questions I wish I'd known the answer to in middle school, and the scary thing is that we still don't know some of those answers. But, the most important thing from now on is that we try our best at everything and we don't judge ourselves for not living up to every single expectation. To quote that same film I mentioned earlier, "Every rejection, every disappointment has led you here to this moment. Don't let anything distract you from it." I've realized recently that my motto is this: failure is the best teacher and you can only define helpful failure when it happens. What I mean is that failure is not the rude voice in the back of your mind that could give Fletcher from Whiplash a run for his money. Failure is the voice that says "ok, that happened how it did. Let's pick ourselves up and try again." The only person you need to prove yourself to is you. The proud version of you. The best version of you. The true version of you.

And so I leave you with this: do everything in and with love. Carry yourself with love and the knowledge of how it surrounds you. I love being us and everything that comes with it.

[dk-wren]

A Letter to the Me I Was Four Years Ago Today

Hey Dakota,

Or, perhaps, I should address you as *****. I don't think we were Dakota quite yet.

In a few weeks, your whole life is gonna change. Okay, maybe a bit hyperbolic compared to the situations other people are also about to experience. But, take your time and enjoy today.

Its leap day, an extra day to do something, so take advantage of this supposedly "extra day of magic." I know you worked hard to get your homework under control so we could see the new Magic Happens parade on its opening weekend.

I remember the joy of getting to text our good friend "Happy birthday" on their actual birthday and not figure out if I should text them on the 28th or the 1st. The anticipation of waiting in a crowd of people to see this new parade, which could possibly run for the next decade like its predecessor. And sharing the specialty sundae at Gibson Girl and some of the dishes at this year's Food and Wine Festival with Dad. That chicken in a waffle taco was so good.

Smile and take your mind off of the pile of work you know you still have waiting at home, the APs you should be studying for, not to mention your upcoming SAT. That Coco float is more beautiful than anything you could have imagined and the Moana float is just beautiful.

You don't know it, but this will be your last trip to Disneyland as an annual passholder, or really your last normal day off for a while. In two weeks the world's gonna shut down, and no amount of optimism we try to muster will keep that initial two weeks as two weeks. But before that, take my advice, you should definitely apply to that Life is Strange fanzine you saw on Twitter. Then, you'll finally know who Dakota is. And who knows what else you may discover on this path.

Also, what took you so long to start writing for you? I know junior year of high school is not known for students having a lot any free time, but if this is what you wanna do for the rest of your life, you gotta start sooner than later. And hey, call me a hypocrite, I know I'm still trying to find a good work/life balance. But we're getting to use our free time in a way that makes us happy and productive. Just keep writing.

Over the next four, really two, years, you're gonna lose contact with a lot of friends. But the two who you do stay in contact with, let's just say you wouldn't wanna be (occasionally) texting with anyone else. They are gonna make you feel safe to be yourself and introduce you to some future obsessions. One of them will be the inspiration for the first piece you write truly for you and for fun. And they're gonna be so supportive when you tell them about what you've been up to/asking their help for.

There's gonna be a lot of rough nights and disappointments before you graduate. And the decision of what to do about college, let those tears fall. There's no need to keep holding those emotions in. It's a tough choice and while I'm still in the middle of it, who's to say I made the right decision. But, I can tell you this, you are gonna be so much happier when you start college. Maybe it's not the experience your sibling had or you dreamed of, but you are gonna fall in love with a whole new city with so much to do (and so little time!). And not to be narcissistic, but I know how proud you would be to see all the things I've done so far in my coursework.

Keep listening to that voice telling you to go for it. You're gonna start writing for some of your favorite fandoms (including ones that you'll meet down the line - I'm so excited for you to watch BD and TS for the first time). Then you're gonna join Tumblr, then AO3, and who knows what's next. Some incredibly sweet people will interact with the things you made (yes, you!) and you'll be introduced to so many talented writers and artists on here! Literally, every day I come across multiple fanarts and fics that I can't help but stare at cause they are sooo good!

I know I skipped over a lot of exciting (and not so exciting) things, but that's for you to discover and enjoy in the moment. Enjoy this moment of happiness, and don't let yourself get too consumed with all the things out of your control. I think the parade is just about to start over at It's a Small World. Take care. We'll meet again soon.

Love,

Dakota Wren 💜

[chrisssea-blog]

long time no talk..

its been almost 10 years since i have ACTUALLY posted on this account. I honestly thought i lost it. no one will prob see this but i wanted to update little me on all the things we have accomplished in the last 8 years:

you graduated high school (2014) even though it didnt seem like you would

you fell in love many times over although you didnt think anyone would ever see your beauty

you moved to NYC (and found the boy from 2011, y'all are still friends. no y'all didnt get married but he def did lol)

you moved back home, fell in and out of love again

you got so many cool, meaningful tattoos lol

you found community in places where you did not think you would

you accepted the fact you are queer ( this wasn't a word fr when you were younger, it was just LGBT)

you didnt let the thoughts get to you and stayed strong

you reminded yourself you are bigger than what has happened to you.

you've made enemies and you're so ok with it (stand on business)

you made it to CSU East bay and moved to the Bay Area, even though you forgot it was your dream school at one point

YOU FINALLY CUT YOUR HAIR! creating a new neural pathway about your self image and hair, cutting those negative thoughts, behaviors and generational curses you may have created with hair.

you survived a pandemic, went to therapy and really poured into your mental health ( can you believe you stopped smoking weed fr?!)

you told ppl about what happened to you and felt loved and supported

YOU MOVED BACK TO THE BAY ON YOUR OWN, got your own apartment and you're doing way better than any person that tried to pray on your down fall

you found community again and this time in ther LGBTQ space and my God do you love them so deeply

you fell in love with yourself so many times over, fell in love with fitness and fell in love with life itself (esp. after some dark times we had)

YOU SAW PARAMORE!!!!!! LIKE OMFGGGGG THAT WAS A BIG FUCKING DEAL!!!!

you cut your hair again! this time 4 months before graduation.

you'll soon be celebrating your 28th birthday with so many ppl its actually crazy to think you might actually have a party

lastly, you have graduated in the Class of 2024, from CSU East Bay with your BS in Kinesiology.

You didnt think you could accomplish all these things when you keep in mind all the roadblocks and obstacles you had to endure. You were never lacking and it may feel as if so much happened to get you here but you learned so much along the way! I say " little me is so proud of me" and omg it feels so good to sit and relish in all i've done. here i am saying it again:

Little brown girl who wants to conquer the world. The one with the love for learning and a heart of gold. You have accomplished so many things in your life and you will accomplish so much more. So many ppl love you and so many more are coming. You have aspired to be great in many spaces and look at your doing just that! The world is really yours. I am forever proud of me

congratulations me! you've blossomed more than you ever thought you could!!!

[leavemeslowly]

as i grow older, i realise more and more that emotions that have been ripping me apart all these years were never really mine. they belonged to my family members, my friends, or to people i have met just in passing. i thought i was a blank canvas. not mine but theirs. i did not know who i was. never knew it was possible to learn about myself.

there was never any point in pretending. i only learned about it after such a long, long time.

the dam had to be broken. i had to be torn apart by what was always there. splitting me open, flooding me and swallowing. i had to be destroyed to understand who i am.

i sometimes think i am not truly me anymore. that person from before stayed on the other side, and i had never gotten to know her. i had never let her live her life the way she deserved to. i wish i could wave at her. Smile, at least.

if she had stayed, maybe we would have been in a different place. maybe, instead of separating, we would have connected and been whole.

[stellarumm00]

Selene

The moon is beautiful.

Is it not?

And yet even the moon has its craters and imperfections.

So why do you worry yourself about your flaws?

Why do you insist on changing what you perceive as faults?

When they are the very thing that makes you beautiful.

[owlmoonboi]

Dear future self,

I am writing you this letter hoping that you live to see the day when you not only read this letter but write a response.

Let me tell you a few things about ourselves. We are an eighteen who’ll be turning nineteen in June. I am suffering with depression and an eating disorder but hopefully by the time you read this I am better.

We are waiting to attend an acting course we’ll start in June but first we have to attend classes for a course in April. It’s exciting the idea of acting. We are also interested in modeling. Kind of funny the idea of someone with an ED wanting to model but it happens all the time. We have always loved attention and being dramatic. If you have to live life at least make it interesting. Hopefully one day someone will be happily watching me on the big screen. I think it’s possible. I like to believe in myself, my goals and dreams. Dreams or goals which some people like to call them are a good thing to have. They are the steps you climb to get to the top. Dreams are like clouds they may shift but that doesn’t stop you from seeing a clear picture.

Our favourite song at the moment is out of a few songs. We love Mars by YungBlud, Beautiful Things by Benson Boone, End of Beginning by Djo and Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. Iris is such a banger.

At the moment our hair is dyed alight brown/dark blonde or a sandy blonde. The colour is kinda nice. It’s cut short but we like short hair. I used to prefer a long floppy front but that is just no longer it. I wonder what colour it will be by the time you read this. I’m thinking next time I dye my hair I might dye it red since it is Autumn but I haven’t made up my mind. It’s not only making up my mind but also I tend to be lazy when it comes to dying our hair. I mean I always get my older to dye it which isn’t the point but we have been known for having terrible roots. It’s not completely our fault. Usually about two weeks after being dyed the roots are already noticeable but that’s how it is when you have dark brown hair. Dark hair does have advantages such as if we ever want laser we can get it. Not that we mind body hair. I mean it’s just hair on your body. I know it literally says that in the name but still that is all it is.

I hope by the time this is read I am happy and living a good life. I want to save some more money since I want you to travel. I think it would be nice to go overseas. Of course home is nice but I don’t want to stay in Australia forever. I want to see the rest of the world. America specifically Hollywood is where all the movie magic happens do I’ll have to end up moving there. I also hope that by the time you read this I am doing the acting course. I hope to be going well with it. We like the idea of getting an internship so remember that. We have to build a good resume. At the moment it is not very good. I as do want you to start doing some volunteer work since I think it’s important to give to the community. It also helps to build that resume like I was just saying.

Most of all I just hope you get the chance to read this. Remember no matter what our family is always there for support no matter his much you may argue with our father. I think children are made to argue with their parents or at least fathers no but he is honestly a good man.

I write this with lots of love. It is very important to love ourself and always be kind to ourselves.

Sincerely

You know who you are

[turnupthevolumebelgium]

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

SPRINTS

[ohkarlita]

Sometimes the camera accidentally goes off in the right moments ♥️

Dear little Karlita,

I’m sorry that I’ve developed into someone I put down consistently. I remind myself of all the gaps I have daily; including those I have absolutely no control over. I’m sorry for the faces I make at your future body in the mirror and the spirals I venture with such dedication, to damage your mentally and physically. I’m sorry that I gaslight you into feeling like it’s your fault and putting yourself first is a selfish act. I’m sorry to act as a supporting character in your own story.

I want to tell you I truly love you and am reprogramming myself to show you. I want to hug you and tell you it wasn’t okay for the longest time and even though misfortune happens I am going to fight for you starting now. I’m going to make you smile and laugh and surround you with beautiful genuine people who care. I’m sorry for the mishandling of your emotions and self esteem. I love you ♥️ and I want you to see me with tears in your eyes of self love instead of hate.

It wasn’t ok before it might not 💯 percent be ok but what I can guarantee is that it will be in the future.