#Kara struggles with her sexuality

[natalievoncatte]

“What’s wrong with me, Alex?” Kara asked, swinging her feet in a childlike, nervous way as she sat on the exam table.

Kara watched her sister putter around the room. She’d activated the red lamps and taken blood samples, and the tubes were currently spinning away in centrifuges awaiting the various tests she would run. She’s listened to Kara’s lungs and checked her pulse and waved instruments about and taken her blood pressure.

Everything about her was well within Kryptonian norms. Her pulse was running around a hundred and ten at rest, which would be alarming for a human but was a tad slow for her, and her body temperature was at a perfect one-oh-one, again just right for the last daughter of Krypton. There was no issue with her processing of sunlight and no signs of radiation exposure, which had been her fear.

Specifically Kryptonite of the red variety.

Kara had been having intrusive thoughts. They’d started here and there months ago but she’d ignored them, writing them off as some odd byproduct of fatigue or stress.

“You can go for now, kiddo,” said Alex. “I’ll let you know when the results come in.”

Alex looked more bemused than anything- probably because Kara showed no signs of actual sickness and had been cagey and indirect about her symptoms. There was a reason for that.

It became unbearable for her yesterday when Lena dropped by her office. Lena had been dressed in Kara’s favorite work ensemble, a green sweater that bared deep cleavage, a pencil skirt, and sheer silk stockings. She’d had her hair up in a meticulous bun and wore a rich plum red lipstick and smoky eyes, looking more sexpot than CEO.

Kara had barely been able to keep a straight face and make conversation. The mere presence of the other woman in the room made her heart pound and created an unbearable tension in her belly and between her thighs. Her eyes kept falling back to the pale inviting column of her throat or the lush inner curves of her breasts. Kara couldn’t stop imagining a bead of sweat rolling down between them. She couldn’t stop thinking about pressing her tongue to the flesh there and catching it, tasting the pearly bead and following its slick trail up to Lena’s throat while her chest heaved against her.

That was a problem, because those were not normal Kara thoughts. Those were not normal Kryptonian thoughts. Kryptonians did not think about those things, especially with members of the same gender. It had come with that same aching feeling between her legs that Kara had been fighting since she arrived on Earth and was dealing with now, just thinking about thinking about Lena.

Worse, Lena would be there tonight at movie night. It was an all girl’s night so it would just be Alex and Nia watching movies with them; Brainy was busy and Kelly was out of town for an academic conference and they were really just keeping Alex company.

Kara’s mind was a train wreck. She couldn’t stop thinking about Casual Lena. When she dressed down in her big sweaters and leggings and let down her hair in soft waves, she was so tiny and cute and small and Kara just wanted to eat her all up and… feel her from the inside, listen to her cries of ecstasy as Kara got creative and *relieved that fucking pressure between her legs*.

Ack! Stop it!

She had to be sick, or infected with a transdimensional parasite, or under a magic spell, or microdosed with red Kryptonite because KRYPTONIANS DID NOT HAVE THESE THOUGHTS.

So, she went for a fly to clear her head.

She ended up going hypersonic and landing at the Fortress, where she picked up the fifty thousand ton key and let herself in. Thankfully, Clark wasn’t there, so she had the vast place to herself.

The Archive here had a simpler interface, she wouldn’t have to ask a holographic version of her mother why she wanted to know what Lena’s sweat tasted like and pin her down on the sofa in her office and do things to her.

“Greetings, Kara Zor-El. How may I assist you?”

Kara looked at the hovering holographic sphere and described her symptoms, holding nothing back. It hovered there all hovery for a moment.

“What you describe sounds similar in principle to afflictions that affected ancient Kryptonians, especially under a yellow sun. Our ancestors often embraced perverse and hedonistic lusts before embracing the perfection of logic and self-discipline. However, you cannot be experiencing these unnatural and incorrect attractions, as they had been bred out of our people by the breeding program. Attraction to members of the same sex and metamorphic reproductive capability have been deemed eradicated by the Science Guild.”

“Metamorphic capabilities?!”

“Some of the ancestors possessed the ability to adapt physically to their preferred partner with the aid of yellow solar wavelengths. This is no longer possible.”

Kara chewed her lip.

The words rang in her skull. Unnatural. Illogical. It made her sound like some… like some abomination, a monster from ancient times. A tightness formed in her chest tears welled in her eyes. Was she like this? Was she broken? An aberration? Some crude vile thing with the instincts and lusts of a Daxamite? Was she broken?

She left the Fortress in a tearful rush and again she flew, too fast. Her phone started going off in the hidden pocket on the flank of her suit and she lighted on a building in Seattle to answer.

“Kara, where the hell are you?” said Alex. “Lena showed up at your place and you weren’t there and we’ve both been panic calling you.”

“I’m sorry, I was at the Fortress, trying to figure out what’s wrong with me.”

Her voice was high and pained.

Alex’s reply was soft. “Come home, Kara. We need to talk.”

Kara nodded to no one. “I’m on my way.”

She made the trip back a bit slower, honing in on Alex’s heartbeat to find her at the DEO, still in the lab. When she walked in, Alex gestured to the exam table and Kara sat down.

“What is it?” Kara almost pleaded. “Alex, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Kara, listen to me,” said Alex, taking both of Kara’s hands. “Look at me, okay.”

Kara looked at her.

“There is nothing wrong with you. I shared the results of the test with Eliza and we went over it in detail. You’re completely fine.”

“I can’t be,” Kara protested. “There has to be a reason why I’m having these thoughts, Alex!”

Pulling her hands free, she jolted to her feet and began to pace.

“There has to be. I have to be sick or messed up somehow. Kryptonians don’t have feelings like this!”

Alex closed her eyes and sighed.

“Kara, listen to me, okay? You’re not sick. You’re not broken. Your best friend is a stunningly beautiful woman and adore each other. There’s nothing wrong with having a crush on her.”

“It’s not a crush!” Kara almost shouted. “It’s more than that and it’s scaring me. What if I can’t control myself? What if I hurt her? What if she sees me looking and she thinks I’m a monster that wants to prey on her?”

Alex’s expression softened. She took a few steps, arrested Kara’s pacing, and pulled her into a bear hug.

“I know how it feels, Kara. I promise you you’re not a predator and there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Kryptonians can’t be gay.”

“Says who?”

“Everybody! The computer! The rules! I don’t know,” The last words came as a broken whimper, and Kara sagged against her sister.

“What about this, Kara. You’re Supergirl. You can do anything.”

Kara pulled back in a daze, staring at nothing. Since she came to Earth, she’d embraced it with her whole self. As loath as she was to admit it, she loved it here. This world was so free, full of wonders and majesty for all its problems. Kara had never once questioned her love for her sister. If Alex could be gay, why not Kara? There was no science council here, no one to ordain who she must marry and breed with.

Why not?

She felt dizzy, and strangely relaxed, as if she’d just heaved a massive weight off her shoulders.

Alex offered her a tissue and she dried her tears.

“Go get the girl,” said Alex. “I’ll call Nia and tell her you need some alone time.”

Kara nodded, and felt half in a daze as she left the infirmary. She stepped out onto the balcony and texted Lena, can I come over?

Lena replied immediately, Yes.

Kara’s heart hammered her ribs as she landed on the balcony. Lena rushed to the door and threw it open, ushering her inside. Kara stepped into the living room of the penthouse and stumbled to a stop.

Lena was dressed down and so soft, from the mop of her wavy hair pulled into a low ponytail to her cashmere sweater down the length of her toned legs to her bare feet.

“What’s wrong?”

As Lena asked, she darted forward, offering a hug. Kara gingerly let herself be pulled into the embrace, hesitant at first. Lena dove into her, throwing herself into the hug as if she wanted to climb inside Kara. Kara wrapped her in her arms and drew her cape around them both. She couldn’t stop thinking about Lena’s feet being cold, about wanting to make her warm.

Before she answered, Kara buried her face in Lena’s hair and breathed deep. Lena’s scent hit her like a train. It was like swallowing a mouthful of alien rum, filling her chest with a spreading warmth and making her head swim.

“I’ve been trying to work some things out, and I was scared, so I ran off to the Fortress. I’m sorry.”

Lena pulled back gently and looked up at her. They were so close. Lena’s big, pretty blue-green eyes were full of worry but dark, her pupils blown.

“What’s bothering you? I’ll throw money at it until it goes away.”

Kara swallowed, hard. “I don’t want it to go away.”

Lena arched a brow. “Oh?”

Kara licked her lips and as she did, Lena’s eyes darted and followed the motion of her tongue. Kara was suddenly away of Lena’s hands resting just above her hips now, the way that her hugs and touches always seemed to trend lower, the casual way that Lena leaned into her as she looked up.

She bit her lip and Kara almost died.

“I think I like girls,” Kara blurted out.

“You certainly like my girls, Kara Danvers. You can’t stop looking.”

“You noticed?” Kara squeaked.

“Kara, darling, you’ve been staring at them for thirty seconds just now.”

Kara’s gaze snapped up.

“I’m sorry, I, oh Rao oh God, Lena.”

Lena curled her fingers around Kara’s chin and tilted her head back down.

“Did you really think I didn’t notice? The day we met you paid more attention to my boobs than my business card.”

“You gave me a business card?”

“See what I mean?”

Kara swallowed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Lena’s thumb grazed her jaw and Kara thought her heart might go off like a bomb in her chest. She shuddered and her toes curled in her boots.

“I’ve been teasing you for years,” she said, “I’d almost given up hope. I wouldn’t be the first disaster bisexual to nurse a futile crush on her best friend.”

Kara swallowed hard. “So should we like go on a date?”

Lena’s fingers traced down her neck, then along the ridge of her collarbone.

“I was thinking more Netflix and chill. I know and trust you, Kara. You’ve saved my life more times than I can count, I’m ready now if you are.”

“Ready?” Kara squeaked.

“So are you, I think,” said Lena.

She rolled her hips and Kara immediately realized what she meant and what the Archive meant by her body adapting.

“Ohshit,” Kara chirped. “Oh God Lena I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing, I didn’t mean to-“

Lena lunged and suddenly they were kissing. Lena’s lips were so soft and she was intoxicating. Kara pulled her into an embrace, almost lifted her off the floor as she kissed her back. Lena threw one leg up and hooked it wound her hip, and Kara instinctively scooped her up and felt a jolt through her body as Lena then wrapped both legs around her waist.

“Fuck, you’re strong,” Lena panted. “Oh God, Kara. Bedroom. Now. Please.”

“You want…”

“Yes! What are you fucking waiting for?”

Later, hours later, Kara lay in Lena’s bed, while Lena slept blissfully next to her, head resting on Kara’s shoulder, smiling contentedly. She looked over at her and tucked the sheets and blankets up close around her chin and smoothed stray strands of hair back from her eyes. Lena made a small sound, and curled around Kara’s side.

Kryptonians, it turned out, could be very good at being gay.

[chaifootsteps]

Kara and Tuca kindve remind me of the stoliz relationship. Too many expectations and demands too fast, one person uses gaslighting and soft spoken guilt tripping, to force the other to change who they are. The other person Tuca/Blitzø, has many failed romantic endeavours in the past, and blames themselves for being ‘too much’, too sexual or too loud, so they let the other person change them however they want. As long as they aren’t alone. Even if it means making themselves small. Heck Tucas two best friends are also a newly married couple. And she lost her mom at a young age.

I think the image of Tuca in long pants was a brilliant way to showcase Karas impact. Tuca even speaks differently. ‘Proper’ like Kara wants. I remember the moment where fizz shows Blitzø obsidian beads, he says “Wow, Beautiful. but stolas never seemed into them” it made me a little sad. From now on he’ll probably do that all the time.

“Stolas thinks this” “stolas says that” “He says horses are stupid animals and I should read novels instead.” “Stolas doesn’t like turtlenecks, he wants me to wear low collar shirts with the buttons down” He’d probably make fun of Blitz for struggling to spell, like that time to Stella, he looks down at her for not reading much. Unlike him. He chooses complicated words to confuse Blitz. What Blitzø calls “fancy rich people talk”

Like with the hand waving motion—When Blitzø makes the slightly silly comment “we don’t do words we do sex” Stolas mocks him “shocking as it may seem blitz I don’t want to ✌️do sex ✌️or even do words with you. How about you respect that?” “Oh and your memory is so great?” Who’s to say he won’t use that line again. It’s all very Kara.

Blitzø would say change is good, and Moxxie would ask “Just tell me, is he changing for you too, or is it all just one sided?”

It's so Kara, and that's heartbreaking. What's even more heartbreaking is there's no awareness, so we'll never get a variant of this absolutely gorgeous, powerful, beautiful moment but with Fizz or M&M in place of Bertie.

[fallenrocket]

One of my favorite genres of character is Guy Who's Friends with the Straight Heroine in a Love Triangle or Long-Running Will-They-Won't-They. Someone who's there for her in moments when her love interest(s) struggles to, someone who always has her back and is rooting for her. Someone who treats her fully as the person she is because he has no romantic expectations of her--big fan of that guy.

Finnick with Katniss in The Hunger Games

Birkhoff with Nikita on Nikita

Brainy with Kara on Supergirl (the live-action TV show, anyway--I know they have a long romantic history in the comics and other media)

Sayid with Kate on Lost

Maybe it's the aroace in me talking, but I often prefer these relationships to the ones the heroine has with her love interest(s). To me, they're often less cliched, they give the heroine less grief, and they frequently show the heroine and her friend doing badass and/or fun stuff together. I love it so much!

I love to lap up a good female friendship too! But when straight men and women in stories so often relate to each other purely in terms of their potential for sexual/romantic chemistry, seeing a tight male/female friendship is such a balm to me.

[fazedlight]

THIS POST IS NO LONGER MAINTAINED

Please refer to my ficlet tag or this work on AO3 for my complete ficlets!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

FazedLight Ficlets

(Would rather read on ao3? I'm importing them here.) (Looking for something longer? Check out my fic lineup!)

💝 = start with one of these 🍁 = supercorptober

Idiots in Love

Scent - On moving on and unanticipated powers 💝

Tattoos - A story about a funny misunderstanding

Stargazing - A moment on the roof of the Tower 💝

Glance - Kara wants to protect Lena from Nyxly

Enchanted - Lena can't understand magic with science 🍁

Power Girl - Karen Starr pays a visit, and Kara's not ready for the revelations

Flying - Lena doesn't realize she's getting over her fears.

Confusion - William is also an idiot, but in a useful way!

Bouquet - Why didn't Lena jump?

Other fluff

Write - Lena's got an alien detector device. Too bad Kara is solar flared 💝🍁

Hazy - A season 3 reveal, based on Lena's misinterpretation of Reign 🍁

Character Study

Irish - On Lena's connection with her mother

Sunrise - What sunrise means to Kara 💝

Mercy - On a difference between Kara and Kal

Hiding - Musings from Cat Grant

Interlude - Max & Cat at the radio station during Myriad

Identities - A companion ficlet to my Worldkiller Kara AU

Asynchronous - Not sure where to slot this, but I promise it's less angsty than the gif implies!

Hero - On Kara's struggles as she figures out how to have hope.

Awakening - On Kara realizing her sexuality.

Heights - Lena character study, angsty

Reflection - Kara comes out to Nia

Burn - Kara seeing Lex during Crisis

Angst (hopeful or canon-compliant endings only!)

Do-Over - A rewrite of the ending of the 100th episode

Control - Lena activates Myriad 💝🍁

Borrowed Time - Kara's last thoughts in the season 1 finale as she carried Fort Rozz into space

Kaznia - Lena panics that Kara died in the explosion, but Supergirl emerges instead.

Listening - Kara should know better than to eavesdrop. And yet.

Dread - Rewriting Lena's experience with the Phantom in Fear Knot

Gone - Alex tells Kelly the truth about Kara, near 6x01

Other:

Plus One - Kara takes Lena to Barry's wedding

Phonecall - A call between Cat & Andrea near 6x01

Rings - Kelly character study

Oath - Alex character study

[bigbangsanvers]

The Keeper

written by DebM

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: None

Summary:

Paranormal Investigator Alex Danvers, and her sister Kara, rush to help Maggie Sawyer her daughter Jamie against the evil forces that terrorize their home and threaten their lives. When Alex and Maggie connect deeper than they anticipated, the line between reason and insanity blurs. Can love flourish in such darkness? Or will that darkness consume them all?

Additional tags: Horror, mention of witchcraft, mention of suicide, Mention of Black Magic, Demons, mention of religion, Struggle with Faith, Sanvers Endgame, Sexual Content

With art by @softdetsawyer

These works were part of Sanvers Big Bang 2021 and were revealed on November 5.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Tell me why Kara Zor-L is one of my your favs! I'm been meaning to make the jump from the CW show to the comics. Any recommendations?

- @cicero-in-gotham

@cicero-in-gotham oh i would LOVE to!! Kara Zor-L is my darling beloved.

firstly for suggestions, i'll be honest Kara can be... a hard character to read for. you have to slog through a lot of really shitty "male gaze" content to get scraps of interesting stuff. the top comics i'd recommend are

Power Girl: Power Trip

Power Girl Returns

Power Girl (2023)

some people like Harley Quinn & Power Girl. i'll be honest... i did not. and Power Girl (2009) has... ups and downs, is the nicest way i'll say it. but it's also solid for what it is. certainly better than her New-52 content so i can't really complain.

anyhow, i always am enamoured by characters who are disconnected from their "family", especially due to trauma. bc no one really counts Power Girl as part of the Superfamily. and even within the Superfamily if people are talking about the "outcast" of the family, they always say Kon. (which, eh? maybe New-52!Kon but i wouldn't say the main Kon is an outcast, his issues are internal) but to me, Kara far better suites that role. it's one thing to be one of the last survivors of Krypton. it's another thing to be one of the last survivors of your entire *universe* as well. she lost everyone, *twice*.

i adore characters who feel like imposters and Kara is *peak* imposter syndrome. everything about her identity is constructed around not feeling like a "real" Super, or a "real" Zor-L. she has to live with knowing she's on an earth that has Supergirl, meaning they don't need her. she didn't wear the S crest for so long even on her own earth, because she felt like she didn't server it.the only thing she feels like she has going for her is her sexual appeal and so it's so amped up she lacks a personality outside of it. she has been isolated again and again by her trauma and she struggles to face her grief, masking with humor and oversexual appearances. i find that to be so interesting. she lost *everything*, twice. and now she's an imposter who will always hold herself at a distance from the Supers because she doesn't want to make them uncomfortable with her existence. she has to live on an Earth and know everyone is... slightly off. she has Clark, but it's not *her* Clark. she has the Justice Society of America, but it's not *her* JSA. and she doesn't have her best friend, Helena Wayne at *all*, because this earth has Helena Bertinelli as Huntress. (unless you count New Golden Age stuff but that's future timeline nonsense)

i find Kara's lack of identity interesting, and the way she just sort of drifts. she has done a lot of things, but lacks a sense of self importance bc she will never view herself as a "real" Kryptonian of this universe. she's just so neat to me. i also love the JSA personally, they're one of my favorite superhero teams, so i love any character connected to the JSA, they're always so underrated.

the Power Girl Special (which is collected in Power Girl Returns) is like, genuinely one of my favorite single issues ever. that comic just lives in my bones. it also has one of the *best* internal monologues i've ever read. something something comics are art. this is cutting some stuff out but just to show you have beautiful the writing is, this is an excerpt from that comic

people tend to think of hatred as love's opposite. but i disagree- i think hatred is just love's sharpened edge. it's the same passion. the same potency, the same intensity. just a different flavor. so no, hatred isn't love's opposite. grief is. grief is the void left behind after something you once loved was violently ripped away. grief is what happens in love's sudden absence. love is when your cup runneth over. but grief is hollow. a chasm. there is no negotiating with grief. it does what it wants to you, when it wants. you will never outgrow or outrun it. but... you can find ways to grow around it. i never got to say goodbye. i was loved, once. i was once loved so much that my life was prioritized above all else. i will never feel worthy of that love or sacrifice. but i'm realizing now that to freeze or falter in the shadow of that love is the only way to fail their sacrifice. i have to live in the light. i can step out into the sunlight, and still carry them with me.

like that is??? so Character to me. she is Everything. i'm just. so unwell over her internal struggles and how she faces the world, i cannot recommend her enough. she means the world to me and that comic has stuck with me since i read it for it's conversation about handling grief. i am begging everyone to be a Power Girl fan i know she's confusing but once you get the hang of her backstory she's so cool i swear-

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Domestically, ribu was born through the contradictions of the radical political formations of the '68 era, including the anti-Vietnam War, New Left, and student movements. Many ribu activists had experienced the radicalism of the student movements and sectarian struggles of the New Left. As defectors from existing leftist movements, ribu activists were conversant and in critical dialogue with the ongoing struggles such as those of the Sanrizuka, Shibokusa, Zainichi, and Buraku liberation activists, the politics of occupied Okinawa, and other movements including immigration, labor rights, and pollution. Following other radical movements of Japan's '68, horizontal relationality was privileged in reaction to the rigid hierarchies of the established left and many New Left sects. The movement involved a decentralized network of autonomous ribu groups that organized across the nation, from Hokkaido to Ayashi; with no formal leader, its leading activists were Japanese women in their twenties and early thirties.

Ribu's birth was traumatic and exhilarating. Having experienced a spectrum of sexist treatment and sexualized violence while organizing with leftist men, from verbal abuse to sexual assault and rape, ribu activists revolted against the myriad ways that sexism and misogyny were endemic across leftist culture. Women typically supported male leadership through domestic labor, by cleaning, cooking, and other housekeeping duties. There were instances when young women activists were referred to as public toilets [benjos] and assaulted and raped by leftist male activists. In some cases, the rape of the women of rival leftist sects became part of the New Left's tactics of uchi geba [internal violence or conflict]. In 1968, Oguma Eiji describes such incidents of sexual violence. Ribu activists spoke, wrote, and testified about their experiences of sexism, assault, and rape at the hands of leftist male activists. Given such forms of sexual violence that were hidden, too often, in the shadows of Japan's 1968, how did ribu women respond?

Never before in the records of Japanese history had ink sprayed such rage-filled declarations of revolt against Japanese heteropatriarchy and sexist men. The slogans of the movement, like the "liberation of sex and the "liberation from the toilet" [benjo kara no kaiho], unleashed an unprecedented flurry of militant feminist denunciations. With minikomi (alternative media] titles such as Onna no hangyaku [Woman's Mutiny] and art evoking images of vaginas with spikes, ribu activists raised a political banner that had never been so explicit and bold in its declaration of sexual oppression and sexual discrimination.

Ribu activists reacted to the counterculture movement of the 1960s and the sexual revolution. Some of its earliest activists, such as Yonezu Tomoko, criticized the "free love" espoused by male activists even while they emphasized the importance of politicizing sex. Along with her student comrade Mori Setsuko, Yonezu named their cell "Thought Group SEX," and painted "SEX" on their helmets the first time they disrupted a campus event at Tama Arts University in Tokyo. Sex and sexuality emerged as key concepts in ribu's manifestos for human liberation. The politicization of sex was a revolt against the sexism in mainstream society and the Japanese left. Heralding the importance of liberating sex also distinguished ribu from former Japanese women's liberation movements, Tanaka Mitsu, a leading activist and theorist of the movement, harshly criticized previous women's movements, saying that the "hysterical unattractiveness" of those "scrawny women" was due to their having to become like men. The brazen and contemptuous tone of their manifestos was a stark departure from past political speech about women's liberation.

This emphasis on sexual liberation evinced ribu's affinity with US radical feminist movements that also exploded in 1970." Ribu activists recognized their shared conditions when they heard news of women's liberation movements emerging in the United States. Information about these movements flowed into Japan via news and alternative media, as documented by Masami Saitō. Japan's largest newspapers, the Yomiuri and Asahi Shimbun, printed photos of thousands of women protesters in the streets of New York City for the August 26, 1970, Women's Strike. Anti-war posters with defaced US flags decorated the walls of ribu communes and organizing centers." Activists from the United States and Europe visited ribu centers." This cross-border exchange among activists also characterized the internationalist spirit of '68 and a common desire for liberation.

Like so many others around the world, ribu activists were also inspired by the Black Power movement and attempted to follow its lead. This passage from a ribu pamphlet evinces how ribu activists were emboldened by Black Power struggles - as were radical feminists in the United States - and drew new lines of departure and separation from the leftist men with whom they had been organizing.

By calling white cops "pigs," Blacks struggling in America began to constitute their own identity by confirming their distance from white- centered society in their daily lives. This being the beginning of the process to constitute their subjectivity, whom then should women be calling the pigs?... First, we have to strike these so-called male revolutionaries whose consciousness is desensitized to their own form of existence. We have to realize that if we don't strike our most familiar and direct oppressors, we can never "overthrow Japanese imperialism"... Those men who possess such facile thoughts as, "Since we are fighting side by side, we are of the same-mind," are the pigs among us."

For leftist women to be calling leftist male revolutionaries pigs constituted a kind of declaration of war against sexism in their midst and their newfound enemy-sexist leftist men. When women of the left began to identify this intimate enemy, this moment of dis-identification with Japanese leftist men constituted a decisive epistemic break. Their conflict with sexist male comrades forced these women to recognize that they had to redefine their relationship to the revolution from the specificity of their own subject position."

- Setsu Shigematsu, "'68 and the Japanese Women's Liberation Movement," in Gavin Walker, ed., The Red Years: Theory, Politics and Aesthetics in the Japanese ���68. London and New York: Verso, 2020. p. 79-82

[transpidergwen]

Underrated dynamic: Starbuck and Helo.

They're buds. They go way back. They're completely platonic on a show with multiple love triangles. Not once is Helo's devotion to Sharon called into question. Not once are his scenes with Kara framed as anything sexual or romantic. They understand each other, they have each other's backs, they share a deep trust that I don't even think she has with Lee. He tries to to talk to her about Anders after their failed hookup and she can't, but she easily opens up to Helo about it at the end, and he gets it. Part of that is because he was there, but mostly he's just known Starbuck for so long that he sees how this has changed her in a way that Lee just hasn't been able to. Helo laid down his life when he gave up his seat on Caprica because he considered his life disposable, and then he found love and suddenly had something to live for, and he understands when Anders does the same thing for her. They're growing together while Lee continues (especially after the Blackbird) struggling to find himself.

Her relationship with Lee is a beautiful chaotic disaster and neither of them ever truly knows where they stand, but Helo is her friend and a rock that she can rely on. They can shoot the shit, they can open up, they can sit in silence and listen to music on a crappy old radio. Their scenes are always a stealth highlight of any episode and I just really really love them.

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: Kara Killmer

full name: Lynn Browning (née Coltrane)

nickname(s) / goes by: Lynn

pronouns & gender: She/her pronouns, cis woman

sexuality: Heterosexual

birth date: June 14th 1984

birth place: Merrock, Maine

arrival to merrock: Local

housing: The Coast & Pier

occupaton: Historian for Merrock Government

family: Two younger brothers (between 32 and 36), one son (Riley - May 9th 2010) and one daughter (Lilly - February 6th 2012)

relationship status: Married to Theo Browning

PERSONALITY

Lynn is a woman who has a big heart. Family is the most important thing to her and she cares a lot. She can be a bit naive by seeing the best side of people even though the bad sides show more. She’s smart, happy and social but also stubborn and impatient.

WRITTEN BY: Myr (she/her), gmt+1

BACKGROUND / BIO

The Coltrane family is one with their roots deeply settled in the town and it is a common name to come across. Heath and Patricia Coltrane gave birth to their baby girl in June 1984, with two sons to follow. The girl had a normal youth. Lots of teasing from her younger brothers, struggling in school to get some good grades but in the end she did well. She always helped out her parents in the family restaurant when she came of age. High school was normal, as normal high school can be of course.

While growing up, Lynn was part of the mathematics team but history was the one thing she adored the most. She loved to learn about the past and maybe even more about the history of their own little town even more. Becoming an archeologist had been her dream but in the end, it would’ve meant that she would have to move away from Merrock for both study and job eventually so the job of a historian was the next best thing.

So Lynn graduated from both Merrock High School and Merrock Community College with good grades. She applied for the job at the townhall in town as historian and she got the job. And that job changed her entire life.

Yes, of course Lynn had known the Browning family for a long time. It was a familiar name in town, just as the Newmans and the Hartmans, to give an example. But the fact that she got to work at the townhall, where also the firehouse was located, changed her life. Near the start of her job, she had visited the firehouse with a box of donuts to introduce herself. It was where she got to know Theo Browning. There was an immediate connection between the two and more common trips were made to the firehouse during her breaks whenever he was on duty. A first date was planned, a relationship was formed. Within a year of meeting him, Lynn got married to Theo and she became a part of the Browning family. Two years into their marriage she became the mother of a baby boy named Riley. Their baby girl Lilly followed two years later. Their family was completed with the arrival of two dogs, named Duke and Luna.

Lynn can definitely say that she had the life she has always wanted. A family of her own, the job she wished for, a husband who is the love of her life and she wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[the-musings-of-a-manga-reader]

Koko wa Ima kara Rinri desu

"Koko wa Ima kara Rinri desu" or "From Now on We Begin Ethics", is a psychological, philosophical drama series following an ethics teacher and the students in his ethics class. Each chapter focuses on one of the students and a conflict they are struggling with. The cast of characters changes every few volumes as the old cast moves up a grade or graduates, allowing for brand-new characters with different beliefs and struggles.

This series deals with a lot of different topics and struggles. Ranging from rape to self-harm, to bullying, to female masturbation. It truly has a wide arrange of topics being discussed. Each of these affects a specific student and Mr. Takayanagi tries his best to help the student in whatever way he can, usually applying what they had learned in the ethics class to the situation.

However, it isn't just the students we see struggling. We watch Mr. Takayanagi, himself, struggle, knowing that he can only do so much for these students. He can only provide help if they are receptive to it and even then how much is he able to do? He’s only an ethics teacher. He’s not a therapist or their parents. He must still keep an appropriate barrier between them and himself as their teacher, as an adult with authority.

I think this conflict is best shown in chapter 7. 

(Spoilers for chapter 7)

We have a male student who is clearly struggling. His home life isn’t good, dealing with abuse and most likely neglect. He does not receive love and affection so he seeks it from those who are nice to him, the people he feels he can trust. One of those people is Mr. Takayanagi. We watch him cling to Mr. Takayanagi's arm, and grab his hand. He also displays these behaviors around the nurse who he's also close with. He isn’t doing this out of romantic or sexual intentions. Instead, he is seemingly using these touches as a source of comfort.

The nurse sees no issue with this but Mr. Takayanagi points out two main problems with allowing these interactions.

1. Is it fair? We allow one student to be physically affectionate with a teacher, but then not allow the others. How would that look? Would it be seen as showing favoritism? 

2. What if the student was a girl instead? How would it look if a female student was clinging and touchy with her older male teacher? How would outsiders view it? Would it be seen as inappropriate? Is this situation only seeming okay because it’s a male teacher and a male student?

But of course, what happens if you avoid the affection? Mr. Takayanagi tries just that with not-so-great results. First evading the student when he tries to grab his arm. The student noticing this gets upset and runs away crying. Later, there’s a moment between Mr. Takayanagi and the student, where the student is visibly upset. Crying, maybe having a panic/anxiety attack, and simply asking for a hug. Mr. Takayanagi hesitates and this makes everything even worse, upsetting the student further, as they likely see this as a form of rejection and assume it's their fault.

How should Mr. Takayanagi have handled the situation? In the end, he did hug the student but was that the appropriate response? The teacher is shown to be in inner turmoil and visibly upset in the last few pages, questioning what he should have done. 

It's situations like this, that we see take place in the series. Making you question what the best or most ethical solution would have been.

Another point that this manga showcases and which I think is very important, is that Mr. Takayanagi knows when something is out of his realm. He knows that in certain cases he isn’t the best person to help a student. 

In chapters 27-28 (Spoilers for those chapters), we have a student who is violent, has a lack of empathy, loves the sight of blood, and wants to kill. The student even asks Mr. Takayanag, “Why is murder wrong?”. After witnessing the aftermath of the student’s brutal assault on an upperclassman, Mr. Takayanagi realizes that this isn’t something that he should handle, so he takes the student to a counselor. Someone whose job it is to help people like him. Getting the kid some professional help. I think that it takes a lot for a person to acknowledge that they aren’t the best person for a situation and to seek help from someone else. 

Who knows what would have happened if he had tried to solve the situation himself. One wrong word and it could have ended in someone's death

Overall I think this series delves into some important topics and really shows how ethics is used in real-life situations. Something to also note is that while each chapter covers a character, we don’t always see the end result. However, in this case, I find that to be fine, it makes sense to not see the resolution to these conflicts. In some cases, this could take a very long time and as we're seeing this through Takayanagi and his ethics class, it makes sense for us the readers to not know how something ends, as Takayanagi himself doesn't know either.

If you're someone who can handle darker topics I really do recommend this series. I think it brings attention to some important topics and makes some great points. However please be aware that it could possibly be triggering for some people.

[afaims100arrowversefavs]

16.  Female Friendships

Many ensemble shows treat us with outstanding male friendships, but not all of these shows are „Friends“, who have Joey and Chandler but also Monica and Rachel. Most shows have to fight for their female characters (mainly because their numbers are fewer) to have a relationship with each other. So it is an accomplishment to actually see a postive female relationship outside of familial bonds and sexual interest flourish. While some Arrowverse Shows did struggle with that aspect, in the end most of them managed to produced more than a couple of strong female friendships over their run. Bookclub matters, and so does the fact that, no, Kara does not want to pounce her female friends, that Ryan is not ready to give up on Mary, or even that Allegra would go so far to - yes - vote for someone else to die in order to get her best friend back. As wrong as this last one is, it shows that women actually care about each other. Something that especially male writers often tend to forget.

[hexentanzenigma]

Thank you for this. I'm truly grateful, especially considering that this beautiful insight comes from someone who doesn't like him.

What we call "Cazador Nation" does exist, most part of us is probably on Twitter and we are mainly dark fiction appreciators and yes, we love the toxic, abusive dynamics between them and like to explore it through dark tropes.

We have a huge range of headcanons about him, about Astarion's past with him, even between him and Vellioth (for example, how entombing Astarion for a year might have been seen as soft, considering he was impaled for 11 years for -failing- in killing Vellioth).

We have a lot of headcanons even about his possible birthland (Kara-tur in general and Kozakura specifically, an abandoned setting of an older version of D&D. Not very successful at the time and not aged well speaking of narrating a fantasy Asian setting).

We like him as a villain, how terrible he is without being forced to be really big or imposing. Everyone was expecting the classic huge, fearsome vampire lord with the deep baritonal voice and the mad look. Instead we have a fine and aristocratic creature, probably a Patriar who, we know it through the only insight we can access to in the game, he suffers . And he shows how a monster has nothing to do with the look, that everyone, out there, could be a saint or a monster within their house walls.

So many people, especially Asian or of Asian-descent ones, have seen in him their parents and felt seen in their traumatic family struggles with them, and consider him a very well-written villain for this. In the same way many other like Gortash or Raphael for the same reasons.

Unfortunately there is SO MUCH cut content about him: he had a whole questline, player would have had the chance to recruit him as an ally for the final battle like Lorroakan, Ethel or Sarevok, he hates the Absolute. But Larian cut the Upper City completely (where there was the other half of his palace) and The Pale Elf is the only quest with NO links to the main questline, so nor him or Astarion have ties regarding the Absolute before the game. Or so it seems.

And, it's true, he's an abuser if we see him through the human, IRL, morality lens and people hate him so much because he hurt Astarion and because peoplet think he SAd his spawn due to a EA dialogue between Tav and Astarion that, personally, I've never translated as such a thing.

However BG3 is a dark fantasy game and he's a vampire lord. Not a human, not our world/reality, not our IRL morals. The way he treats his spawns is nothing abnormal among them: vampires are wretched creatures in D&D, spawns are minions that DMs send against players to be killed. They live violently and die violently because adventurers want to slain them. In D&D vampires don't live for too many centuries, let alone millennia, like it happens in books/movies. They are considered enemies. Even Astarion, would have been. So, they're all monster and as monsters they have their natural hierarchy: spawns are natural-born slaves to their sires and vampire lords creates spawns as servants because it's a cheap solution and they're disposable. All they must do is to bury their last meal for 24 hours and that is.

They're not human, in the same way Raphael isn't and Raphael has even more direct reference about how he might have sexually tortured Hope or made her been sexually tortured by someone else.

Gortash, instead, is a human. A human who sold other people, his peers, friends too, for his own gain, because he was a traumatize child and now a traumatized adult who don't know affection (and I like both Gortash and Raphael, as villains. Their stories are interesting. Ketheric too, so tragic. I don't like Orin, but it's just my taste, she's a nice character too).

Astarion himself, before Larian watered him down so much of his most nasty, cruel and freakish sides was problematic. During EA we Astarion fans were labeled as "red flags, "abuser apologists", and he was often staked at camp because "he's a cruel, racist, sexually deranged asshole and he shouldn't be in the party". I fell in love with him because, FINALLY, we had a very morally-grey if not evil main character in a RPG party. Not so far from what it's now Marazhai in Rogue Trader.

=================================== Anyway, beautiful is the insight about him in the game (with detect thoughts when opening his coffin where he's sleeping/recovering, if Astarion is not with the party), that, to me, is half of Cazador's charme: Narrator: *The great vampire lord looks peaceful, recovering in his coffin. There is no trace of the fury that you fought against.*

Cazador Szarr: These deathless dreams hold memories of a mortal life once-forgotten. Of the boy I was, the man I became, the monster that will not end. Cazador Szarr: I sleep, but cannot rest. I live, but cannot die. I am eternal, and I grieve. Narrator: *His dreams have the form of an endless ocean of blood, vast and unknowable.* And this unlock a whole new interpretation of why he might have searching for the Ascension, together with what Raphael tells Astarion about his scars:

he probably wanted to be as human as possible again, keeping the strength of vampires but enoying being somehow "alive" again at the same time. Suffering the painful thirst for blood never again and being able to taste again normal food, even just for pleasure and not to survive. Stay under the sun.

We don't know how or why Vellioth sired him. Maybe it was against his will. Is it really so strange he searched a way to re-gain what it might have been stolen from him, while being forced to live as a vampire (and being a vampire twist what you were in life, like it or not. You become a monster, like it or not)?

=================================== So, thank you again for your thoughts! <3

i love bg3, and i love being in the fandom but also. i have never felt more alone as someone who also happens to be chinese like.

i don’t like cazador. i don’t think the majority of bg3 fans do. but the fact that i’ve never seen the same amount of grace given to cazador that is given to gortash or even raphael, by fans or in the game, just fucking hurts.

consider gortash and cazador: both gortash and cazador have been hurt, and choose to perpetuate this cycle of hurt. gortash is widely crushed on and shipped with durge. in game, karlach (gortash’s victim, no less) expresses sympathy when she realises what was done to gortash. nothing remotely resembling this sympathy is given to cazador, regardless of in game or in fandom.

i’ve always gotten upset seeing people hate on cazador without allowing space for nuance, and haven’t been able to explain why until now—

characters like raphael and gortash can be loved, regardless of / including all the atrocities they commit. they’re pined after, and shipped, and loved. anytime someone likes cazador, on the other hand, fingers are pointed and everyone goes ‘but he’s an abuser!!’

and that’s just it: cazador is just ‘the abuser’. hatred towards the only memorable asian character never goes challenged or questioned, because he was quite literally written to be the most evil, most abusive character of all.

yes, he’s a terrible person, yes, he’s an abuser, yes, asian people can be abusive just like every other person on earth. it’s understandable why one would hate him, because he’s literally written to be, but the fact that he’s the only asian character i can name in bg3 just really fucking hurts.

fans who love raphael (me included) or gortash (me not included) are much more likely to be ‘excused’ or accepted, whereas any fans who even express an ounce of love for cazador immediately get shut down. why do you think this is. think about the implications of the only memorable asian in the game being the most abusive and most evil. (no, asian side characters and npcs with two lines of dialogue don’t count. no, the one asian face option for tav also doesn’t count)

again, i love bg3, and its changed my fucking life, but its just deeply upsetting to me that this character was written specifically to be hateable with no room for grace or remorse or empathy. nobody questions the blind, pure hatred for him. nobody questions why this hatred isn’t expressed quite as strongly for literally any other evil white character in the game.

i’m not asking for people who sympathize with / relate to astarion’s storyline to like cazador at all— that’s not the point of all this. i’m not telling you which characters to like or dislike. but racist beliefs / predispositions / inclinations do not magically become less racist when the character of color in question is written to be abusive, not to mention the fact that he’s the only asian character in bg3 that i can even name or remember.

growing up, i’ve always wanted to see myself in the fantasy stories that i loved. i’ve given up hoping that i will, but i’m really sad and disappointed that the one character who remotely looks like me in this game that i love with my whole heart is just evil. not nuanced, not tragic, not even a fucking person to most fans or even the creators, regardless of his canon backstory and his morally wrong similarities to other characters that are loved like gortash and raphael.

i love this game and this community so much, but i just feel so . i don’t know, stupid? LMAO maybe i’m just reading too much into it, but i just feel terribly alone in feeling this way

[qippabtch]

Scutelliphily

Scutelliphily. Noun. From the Latin scutellus, meaning "little shield," and Greek phileein, to love or enjoy. "The hobby of collecting insignias, patches, medals, and the like."

The main reason I studied linguistics in college is because I love words. I love how powerful language is, how ubiquitous and how fundamental to human nature. At face value, language is simple. So simple, in fact, it's among the first benchmarkable skills acquired in early childhood. But beneath the surface, language is an infinitely complex and versatile mechanism, the inner-workings of which we have only begun to understand. This structure, so pervasive in application yet elusive in comprehension, as much a mystery as the deep sea or outer space, is made up of words. Language is a structure, so pervasive in application yet elusive in comprehension, as much a mystery as the deep sea or outer space. And yet it is made up of simple words. 

In a vacuum of context, words are nothing. Arbitrary sounds, simple utterances formed by the lips and tongue and breath, are given meaning by their contexts, by the associations we make between them and the real-world ideas they represent.

There are a lot of words for lovers of things. The suffix -philia, from Greek philios (the word for a fraternal sort of love), denotes somebody is a lover of something. Many of these terms refer to paraphilias, and the most commonly-known of these are the sorts of things we don't often like to talk about. 

But not all -philias are sexual in nature, and there are far more of these terms than the few you might hear on Dateline. I myself am a logophile and a bibliophile, a lover of words and collector of books. I am a pluviophile, a lover of rainy weather, and a ceraunophile, because thunder is the best part of a storm. 

Gabe is, definitionally, an ergophile: one who loves to work. I don't know if ergophile covers people who are wholly and utterly infatuated with their jobs or simply refers those addicted to labor in general, but either way Gabe seems to qualify. Whenever something even remotely dangerous happens, he makes the inevitable EMT joke: "Don't make me work on my day off!", I usually counter by pointing out this fact, then playfully accusing him of wanting nothing more than for his professional services to be called upon in the middle of an otherwise mundane circumstance.

Along with being a workaholic, Gabe is also a self-proclaimed scutelliphile. I'm not sure if that is the proper subject variation of scutelliphily, but it suits him all the same. His surplus of first responder patches made up a few of my first, and one in particular went on to take on especially significant meaning for me. First responders, like soldiers or E.R. doctors, tend to be superstitious creatures. At the height of my struggle at Reg, my good luck charm was a shoulder patch from Gabe's first EMS uniform, a token of friendship he gave me when we first started getting close.

Whenever I felt the doubts about my ability to succeed as a dispatcher start to creep in, threatening my focus and developing within me a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure, I would instead slip a hand into my pocket. As my fingers grazed the tough embroidery and cracked remnants of iron-on backing, I was reminded that somebody believed in me. Somebody with far more experience than I had believed in me, as he had believed in Kara. He believed in her and she made it, just as he said she would. Now he was telling me that he believed in me too, and there was no reason I couldn't do the same.

Gabe is far from the only one out there collecting patches. I've known avid hikers and outdoorsmen who collect rangers' patches from the National and State Parks they've traversed. Historic military enthusiasts often seek out the uniform insignias from whatever era they specialize in. And of course, every police station I've ever visited had some kind of display, often a glass case or shadowbox filled with patches from other departments. It's a sign of interoperability and cooperation, and archive meant to honor their cooperative efforts.

It's also not an uncommon practice for LEOs to personally exchange patches, and sometimes they'll extend the tradition to civilian dispatchers like me. We swap  with the fire departments and with paramedics from private EMS companies, and of course we trade amongst ourselves, too.

My first exchange happened at Reg, with the training coordinator. the interaction began when I asked her how she ended up where she was. She told me about her journey from private security to law enforcement, from law enforcement into dispatch, and from there up to Regional 911 management. She told me about one of her security jobs, working for Dunkin' Donuts Asset Protection. 

"They had these great patches," she told me. "Really funny-- they said: Defend & Serve the Donuts."

Naturally, this sent me. I'm a sucker for a good cops-love-donuts joke. "That's too perfect."

She sighed wistfully. "It's a shame I lost that patch." 

I thought so too, and so a week later, I received in the mail the $13 impulse buy I made that day. 

"This can go on my wall," she said when I presented it to her, studying the bulletin board where hung the evidence of her own scutelliphily. There wasn't a lot of room for new additions, so after a moment she reached up and took one down and replaced it with the donut patch. 

"Here," she said, offering me the one she had taken down from the wall. "I'll trade you for it."

When I saw that what she now pressed into my hand bore the insignia of the job I was so proud of, I choked. I thanked her, then bounded off like I used to as a kid, after scoring from Andy a sweet Pokémon card trade. That night, I took it home and added it to the clothesline where I pin up treasured photographs between my many bandanas.

"You have a patch wall!" Gabe commented later, gesturing to where the Regional patch hung beside the good-luck one he had given me so long ago. "That's one of the signs that you really like working in this field."

He was right. I love this field, and I was realizing now that I, too, had a nerdy little scutelliphile in me, too. I was hooked. Like with the Pokémon of my childhood, I wanted to catch 'em all. And that shouldn't be hard-- I feel like I meet a lot of cops these days.

Elle's boyfriend, for example, is a cop in a nearby city. When he comes over to see Elle, we usually find something to talk about. Even though we don't have a lot in common aside from work, that's enough. 

And just this week, I also had the privilege of meeting an officer from yet another city. He was the instructor of a cert class I was taking, and I was the only one in the class who had a direct association with law enforcement. As a result, we spent the breaks swapping stories and comparing life from behind the desk to behind the wheel of a cruiser.

Regional serves six towns at a combined population of around 50 thousand. My current town is less than 10 thousand. My experiences as a small-town dispatcher is wildly different than theirs, with populations of 115 thousand and 80 thousand respectively. Yet, both of them saw fit to honor me with patch trades, and my wall now brags representation from both of their cities, the assortment of sizes and shapes and designs growing in variety with every interaction.

It's not really about the patches, though. Like words, the insignias aren't intrinsically meaningful. The honor of the stripes comes not from the value of the thread, but from the recognition by others of the rank of the solider who dons them. In the same way, the patches themselves are all but meaningless without the context, the connections made.

I was not friends with the former before he started dating my roommate. Up until a week ago, I didn't know the latter from Adam. But now, I have a connection with each of them. 

When Elle asks me if we can dog-sit during her boyfriend's trip, it is as much out of the dispatcher-to-officer loyalty as it is love for Elle that I agree, even though I'm allergic to dogs and he chews on the furniture. I take my Benadryl and wrap the kitchen chair legs in twine not because I like the dog (which, admittedly, I now do), but for the same reason that the cert instructor gave me his cell number after class, in case I ever needed anything. It's the same reason that, after I admitted I was pushing fifty hours without sleep, that he gave me a coffee, no charge:

"You're part of the first responder family."

That has to be the best feeling in the world. Working in this field, even as "just" a civilian dispatcher, I'm part of a team that spans the entire nation. My officers know that I've got their backs from behind the desk. And I know that, on or off the clock, they've got mine too.

[ao3feed-kiribaku]

The Bakugo twin

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/DIP5Yn3 by Ray_is_Tori While Kara has always been in her twin brother Katsuki's shadow, she finds it hard always watching from the sidelines of her brother's actions and people's assumptions of her. And her best friend Izabelle Midoriya always acrossed the world in america doesn't help much either. But she's not alone, because she's got her older sister Himiko, or at least she did. Now while struggling with the pain of the past; Kara makes her way into UA highschool with her twin brother and her two childhood friends. She comes across struggles with other people, school and even love. Words: 1700, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Characters Relationships: Asui Tsuyu/Original Female Character(s), Todoroki Shouto/Original Female Character(s), Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu/Uraraka Ochako, Jirou Kyouka/Yaoyorozu Momo, Hagakure Tooru/Ojiro Mashirao, Iida Tenya/Sero Hanta, Kaminari Denki/Shinsou Hitoshi, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff, Identity Issues, Fluff and Angst, Mental Health Issues, Sexuality Crisis, I'm Bad At Tagging, Cupioromantic Ashido Mina, Pansexual Kaminari Denki, Bisexual Midoriya Izuku, Gay Bakugou Katsuki, Gay Kirishima Eijirou, Lesbian Asui Tsuyu, Aromantic Asexual Tokoyami Fumikage, Lesbian Yaoyorozu Momo, Everyone Is Gay, Cussing read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/DIP5Yn3

[rainbowxocs]

TW: Child Abuse and Addiction.

Name: Kagayaki Tekikya (輝き滴下) (카가야키 테키캬)

Special Titles: Former Wakagashira (ワカガシラ) of the Tekikya Family, Shikomi (仕込み), Jen DaBen (ジェン ダベン.), Quarterback.

Username: @JDwannabe

Nicknames: Onee-Kaga (お姉加賀), Kaga-Kun (加賀君), Himbo, Trophy Husband, Onee-Jen (お姉ジェン), Jen-Chan (ジェンちゃん), Tough Guy (タフガイ), Normal Ass Guy (普通の尻男).

Age: 23

Pronouns: He/Him. (in English) (But he doesn’t really care what pronouns you call him.) (Goes by She/Her at some of his jobs.)

I Pronoun: Oira (俺ら) (A masculine I pronoun that’s very casual, invokes a sort of country bumpkin sort of vibe.)

Sexuality: Bisexual (Ryōtōdzukai)(両刀使い)

Gender: Genderpunk, X-Gender (Ryosei). (Xジェンダー)(遼生)

Species: Human.

Disorders: Suicide Ideation, Depression, Bipolar 2, CPTSD, Insomnia, ADHD, Schizophrenia.

Physical Conditions: Has an amputated pinky finger.

Recovering Addictions: Alcohol, Weed, Cigarettes, Cocaine, Meth, Heroin, Mushrooms, MDMA.

Religion: Buddhism

Job: 7/11 Worker, Actor, Shikomi, Onnagata, Crossdressing “Just Chatting” Streamer, Drag Queen.

Major: Acting.

Lives in: Okutama, Japan, 2024.

Languages: Japanese, Korean, English.

Height: 6’4”

Race: Asian.

Ethnicity: Japanese, Korean.

Accent: Shitimashi.

Vehicle: Black Motorcycle.

Voice Claim: Thoma from Genshin Impact (JP Dub)

Powers: Calmness Aura, Shadow Magic, Teleportation.

Weaknesses: Basic Human Weaknesses.

Weapons: Pistols, Brass Knuckles, Baseball Bats.

Alignment: Chaotic Good.

Text Color: Black

Main Hobbies: Piano, Guitar, Acting, Hanafuda.

Favorite Drink: Cherry Slushy, Cherry Coke, Strawberry Frappuccino.

Favorite Fruit: Oranges.

Favorite Meals: Onigiri, Gimbap, Kimchi, Tea Eggs, Jjajangmyeon.

Favorite Snack: Oreos.

Favorite Dessert: Songpyeon, Mooncakes, Cookie Dough Taiyaki Icecream, Icecream Cake, Vanilla Cake.

Favorite Flower: Roses.

Scent: “SHREK FOR BOYS” Cologne.

Handedness: Right Handed.

Blood Color: Red.

Awareness: Aware (Effect: Neutral.)

Birthday: February 8th 2001 (Aquarius, Snake, O)

Theme:

Playlist:

Fun Facts: Is immune to cyanide.

Comfort Object: His Jacket, it has an enchantment on it, so when he reaches in he can summon whatever he’d like.

Stims: Black Tangle, Black Fidget Cube.

Stimboard: LINK

Moodboard: LINK

Fashionboard: LINK

Extras:

The Slushee Code: Depending on the flavor of slushie it can determine Kagayakis mood or emotions.

Cherry = Happy.

Orange = Stuck in his head.

Lemon = Annoyed.

Green Apple = Anger.

Blue Raspberry = Sad.

Grape = Confused.

Rainbow/Every Flavor = Not Sober.

Family: Tae Tekikya, Igarashi Tekikya (Birth Parents)

Daisuke Hashimoto, Haruka Hashimoto (Adoptive Parents)

Kara Tekikya (Daughter)

Friends: Keh and Are (BFFS), Hana, Uru, Atsu, Ryu, Joji, Otoko, Boru, Theo.

Romance: Kakikomi Tekikya (Wife)

Pets: Brutus (ブルータス)(Bull Dog), Slushy (スラッシー.) (Hamster), Buddy (バディ)(Grey Parrot.)

Brief Personality: Kagayaki is a sweetheart, he’s the epitome of a dumb blonde/golden retriever. He can make friends with basically anyone. You wouldn’t ever guess that there is allot of darkness behind that smile. He’s been through allot of trauma and is just trying his best to live a life he’s happy with now.

Brief Backstory: Kagayaki had a pretty normal childhood at first, his mother was a famous musician and his father was a successful businessman. His mother would teach him how to play the piano and other musical instruments. His mother struggled with depression her entire life and it finally caught up to her and she ended up committing suicide.

Kagayaki was devastated, and his father went down an incredibly dark path. His father fell into the wrong crowd, and began a life of crime, mostly selling drugs, The Tekikya Family quickly became one of the top 3 crime families in Okutama and Kagayaki was his fathers second in command. Kagayaki had to do.. horrible things.. he was terrified of his father.. He had a very high body count from an incredibly young age. He was an incredibly good shot.

As Kagayaki got older he started getting into drugs, very heavily, It was the only thing for him to cope with everything that happened in his life. Kagayaki basically had done every drug available to him, it didn’t matter what.

When he was 16, he was the epitome of Highschool bad boy, with his piercings and tattoos, smoking in the hall ways, he made sure that his persona was spikey so nobody could get close to him.

Except, then he met Kakikomi. Kakikomi was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his entire life. She was, allot smarter than him, but he was determined to be her friend no matter what.

And that one action sent Kagayaki down an incredibly good path.

[winn-schott-throughtheheart]

listen. listen. listen. I could rant for so fucking long about how much I despise Lyra and James but I'll try keep it brief.

James is routinely manipulative towards Winn. in season ONE he hits him with the "do you really want Kara to find out that YOU let me do this alone??" as if he isn't responsible for his own fucking actions and also deliberately jeopardised Winns relationship with Kara for his own sake. I also have reason to firmly believe that James KNEW Kara didn't like Winn that way, but he pushed him to confess his feelings to her in 1x08 ANYWAY, knowing she'd reject him and therefore removing the competition.

Lyra is literally physically abusive, and I'll never understand the people in this fandom that like her and can excuse it. She smashes a bottle in Winn's face and destroys the gift he got for her, in a PUBLIC SPACE, purely to embarrass and scare him. HE FLINCHES BACK. it wouldn't surprise me at all if Winn deliberately chose to have that meeting in a public space because he knew she would react like that when he tried to let her down as gently as he possibly could. She's also sexually domineering, coming onto Winn very quickly and suddenly on their very first date and completely ignoring all the plans that HE had made, and he also literally says that she leaves bruises on him. and whether these are hickeys or not, something tells me she didn't fucking ask if he was okay with it.

I will add that James actually witnesses Lyra smash a bottle and scream in Winn's face, and then tries to get them back together anyway. Many of you will know the analogy about cats being a lesson of consent, and if someone openly hates cats, then it's pretty telling that they're a major asshole who can't respect boundaries.

Lyra eats cats.

On another note, James is repeatedly dismissive of Winn's struggles. In 3x14, when Winn's mother has just returned after abandoning him 20 years prior, James gives him a lecture about how when HIS dad died, he blamed his mum, even though she was still doing her best to take care of him and Kelly. Winn very rightfully looks extremely uncomfortable and unimpressed here, because James is insinuating that Winn is overreacting to the fact that his (also abusive) mother just walked back into his life, bringing back all of his past trauma, and actually implying that WINN IS TO BLAME for the state of their relationship. James is incapable of having a conversation that doesn't draw back to himself in some way.

Also, he literally sees Winn get attacked and held at fucking gunpoint, and then expects him not to be bothered about it and be absolutely fine to go back into the field the day after. He doesn't check up on him, he doesn't ask if he's okay. James also discovers Winn has fallen asleep on the job, because, you know, he works a very taxing and emotionally draining job already, and James is making him give up hours of his free time to help him achieve his dreams of becoming a superhero because he can't stand to not be in the spotlight for a single second, but I digress- he discovers him asleep on the job, and instead of calling it a night because his right hand man is so fucking exhausted to the point he's passed out, he makes him stay out even later.

I said I'd try to keep this brief but clearly I lied. tldr I fucking hate these two characters. the issue of Winn's parents is a whole new can of worms that I will get into another day but for now enjoy my rantings.

i think we need some more drinks.