#Jason is a little shit

[nelkcats]

Wrong Date

After years of Val trying to kill him as Phantom, Danny finally got fed up and took Sam's advice, arranged a whole package full of flowers, chocolates, and even stuffed ghosts and apologized for being a jerk, asking if wanted to talk and confessing that he was Phantom, he wasn't being particularly romantic but he supposed all those package would soften the blow.

The problem arose when the mailman took his package and saw "addressed to Red H." Danny's luck was really bad because the poor man got confused and sent the package to Gotham, towards Red Hood's lair.

You can imagine Jason's surprise when he found the whole reveal of a secret identity in a package full of flowers and ghost bears. It didn't come with a photo, but the creator was very obvious, he didn't even need the Batcomputer to search the boy's social media and realize he was cute, but absent-minded or stupid.

In the end, Val meet Danny in a fight to the death, both were tired when the halfa told her the whole story, and although his ex understood the situation, she admitted not having received any packages.

Danny panicked when a week later Red Hood sent him a picture winking at him that said "Wrong receiver Phantom, but if you want to talk I'll take a date."

[betterthanbatman1]

THEYRE SIBLINGS YOUR  HONOR

[nenehyuuchiha]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, mostly - Freeform, Gotham's Lowkey Bloodfeud with Bludhaven, They're not Happy Nightwing left, Jason's a Craftmom, Jason-typical Death Jokes Summary:

He's not sure where the banners came from. They just slowly started creeping up on various balconies and now... Well, he's not sure what to make of Jason's living room...

[adeva-eira]

Mari/Jason mini comic: how did mari end up getting the cat miraculous and not the ladybug? How did she end up in Gotham. who fell for the other first. And, is it Jason? Lol

It's a AU I thought of where Jason and Damian have to run from the League of Assassins (Jason was Damians Bodyguard after he came back. The other Bats don't know about either of them). Talia helps them get to Paris because it is the only Place where the League just can't get them. There they meet the Heroes Red Beetle (Luka, not Adrien. Adrien is Serpent here uwu) and Stray Cat (Marinette).

How she got the Cat Miraculous....well...the good ol' switcheroo xD she just...got it.

As for who fell first for the other...Jason first fell for Stray Cat (Badass good girl. She could kick his ass and he's into it), then Damian got a childish crush on Mari (again, badass good girl xD), then Jason falls for Mari because Damian tells Jason that he's stupid for NOT falling for her (Luka and Adrien Agree) and ya...somewhere along the line Mari falls for Jason xD

[phoneduk]

Headcanon that when Duke becomes comfortable with the family he instantly starts pulling the Black Card to win an argument.

The first time it happens is when Batman asks him to stay late in the cave to go over some reports but Duke is tired Damnit and B isn't listening to his protests so he pulls his best sad face and asks "Is it because I'm Black?" When Bruce says that Duke can't ask his siblings to cover for him. Cue the biggest panic that any of them have seen in a long time as Batman switches to Bruce and starts assuring him and telling Duke to go relax.

From there Duke has realised he's gotten a get out of jail free card that he uses carefully (Re: to get out of a gala early, to get his favourite food for dinner a couple of times.)

Using it on his siblings only works once or twice before they start on the orphan card that rarely works as they're all orphaned one way or another.

One time he used it on a villain and they almost instantly stopped beating him up to protest the accused racism.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Healing Factor

Danny Fenton is a little shit, everyone knows that. Now, consider he is medically inaccurate, but on purpose, and it makes everyone question their life.

Because he has an accelerated healing factor. He is also a ghost and his bones are nonexistent half the time. He may look like a human, he may act like a human, but he is not really one, and he forgets about it sometimes. Or maybe he's just fucking with everyone.

So imagine he got caught up in a fight in Gotham, Crime Alley to be exact, and he fist fought some robbers or muggers or whoever. Then Red Hood comes to save the day, and when he asks this teenage scrawny boy who looks like he doesn't even know what taxes are, is he okay, Danny just

Spits a bloody clot on the floor, looks at it for a moment, and goes, "Oh. That's a tooth," with little to no emotion to it. Jason is now concerned because it kind of looks like the boy is concussed. But that's definitely a tooth on the floor, yes.

"Shouldn't you be more worried about it?"

Danny shrugs nonchalantly, "Why should I? It's gonna grow back."

"What?"

"You know how when you are a baby, your teeth fall out, and then you get new teeth? So since I lost one, a new one's gonna grow out," Danny explains, and Jason is not even sure what to say because, first, no, that's not how it works, and second, who the fuck doesn't know that at fifteen? Has this boy ever been to dentist?

"Kid, no, you only get two sets of teeth," he carefully tells him, "Baby teeth and adult teeth. That's it, no more teeth, you're not a shark."

Danny blinks at him slowly. Then, he reaches inside his mouth with his fingers, touches his teeth, and shrugs, "How come it's back already then?"

Before Jason can ask anything, the boy opens his mouth to reveal a perfect set of teeth. Nothing is missing. He looks back to the floor, and, yup, that's a tooth there.

But no teeth are missing.

What the fuck.

"Wanna keep it to offer to the tooth fairy? No one said she only takes your teeth," the boy asks him.

Later, Danny calls Jazz with a single purpose of telling her he is now a shark and hanging up on her.

[d-1hater]

honestly one of the main reasons I like dc is that they can’t keep a storyline straight for shit. anything I don’t like is just *not real*. that’s different storyline babes what are you talking about???

like at this point I can consider shit like wfa and hell even well written fanfics as canon bc who knows what’s going on with those funky little people?? certainly not the dc writers

[fanaticalthings]

I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

----

Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

[lalaooopsie]

Jason having his priorities straight fr

The most based character of all time

[ahfrickenfrick]

dick: i just think it’s really funny how you call tim pretender

jason: why

dick: roy and kori were MY friends first :(

jason: get over yourself

dick: and now tim has a speedster best friend too :(

dick: heh, guess you can’t beat the original blueprint 😙

jason: you really jumped from being upset to accepting that

dick: to be fair the one thing that bruce really taught us was to compartmentalize our emotions

jason: yeah that was really the only thing that has really stuck for me, huh?

dick: really pisses alfred off

[craftyexpertchild]

Jason knows also because he's met the "Ghost Meta" before, in fact Danny lives in his territory... Not that he's going to try and stop it.

And if Jason starts slipping Danny Twenties in exchange for photos and videos? Well that's their secret.

DP x DC AU where Danny is in Gotham for an extended time for whatever reason and ultimately decides that haunting Tim/Red Robin is a good way to pass the time. How did he come to this decision? It MIGHT have something to do with Tim stealing his coffee 'on accident. '

Danny started with standard ghost stuff, some haunting noises, flickering lights, but that didn't get a big reaction out of Tim. So now he's progressed to poltergeist level haunting, messing with furniture and kitchenware, causing technology to glitch, and even whispering in Tim's ear about how he needs to repent.

Tim's first thought is that he's hallucinating... Until it starts affecting the other members of the batfam

[spicy-apple-pie]

Jason brings up the fact that he's changed Damian's diapers as often as possible.

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

[on-the-clear-blue]

Jason felt like he was going insane, there was a flicker just outside of his vision and it was following him...

And it was getting closer and closer each time he noticed it.

A flash of white...a black so dark it sucked in shadows...a chill that left him feeling like he would never be warm again.

He couldn't shake it no matter what he did, his coms went dark an hour ago, and all his tech died not long after, his grappling hook felt heavy in his hand as he ran around another corner, his chest pounding.

God, he needed to get away. He needed to get back to the bats... Batman could help... Bruce always helped...

---

Danny couldn't help but hold back a giggle as he saw Red Hood shoot off onto yet another roof top, his whispy tail flicking back and forth as he gave chase! He was having so much fun! Gotham was turning out to be such a fun city!

---

Jason's heart stopped as he saw toxic eyes blink out at him from the shadows, slitted pupils blinked wide into pure black orbs, matching the darkness.

He had faced aliens, new gods, crisis on a scale to erase reality itself but this? He had never felt more afraid.

Fear toxin couldn't even touch this...

---

Danny's eyes grew wide like a fiesty feline snorting catnip.

His prey! His pretty and very handsome prey! All the delicious energy pouring off him was intoxicating!

Unknown in his limited brain power, Danny started to match his play partners energy, letting fear roll off him like a tidal wave.

---

Time seemed to halt, all hope of losing what was hunting Jason seemed to evaporate.

Forst glazed over the rooftop before jagged unearthly blue ice sprang out of it, spiked and sharp stalagmites jutted out all along Jason, an utter cold that made him forget what warmth felt like.

His hands shook from both fear and from the cold, but they still tightened around his guns, but he couldn't pull the trigger, even as he saw a shimmering outline of something, a shape that was far less monstrous than he had assumed.

---

Danny couldn't help but giggle as he finally caught up with his playmate, floating up to the Reverants face, his small hand wacked right where Hood's nose would be if not for the helmet.

"Boop! Ur It!" He screeched with joy, and started to fly away, snickering as he did, he had yet to loose a game of tag with any of the bats!

[ducktu]

Duke: WOW, how can you even say that about my people-

Jason: Hold on, being black doesn't have anything to do with it-

Duke: BLACK? MY PEOPLE ARE BAT VIGILANTES, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?, CAN YOU ONLY SEE RACE?

Jason: *screams*

[phoneduk]

[Jason panic searching his room]

Jason: "WHERE IS IT?!"

Tim : "what is *it*?

Jason: "You would know if saw it! Just help me look!"

Dick: "Hey, let's just calm down. What are we looking for?"

Jason: "I bought home an injured snake yesterday on patrol and I was planning on dropping it off at the vet today."

Dick: "that's not so bad."

Jason: "If Damian finds it we're going to have a pet snake. And you're the only one he would trust to feed it."

[Jason, Dick and Tim frantically searching the manor.]

Meanwhile

[Damian in the cave full Robin costume with snake around his shoulders - Maniacal laughter.]

Bruce suddenly sits straight up in his seat in the watch tower, a full body shiver taking over him.

Bruce: "Somethings wrong"