#Jarro the Starro

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

All of Batman's kids

For those who still haven't realised how big Bruce's problem is

(Note: some of these are in alternate universes)

Biological

Talia Al Ghul's Children

Damian Wayne

Ibn al Xu'ffasch (in Elseworlds he's Damian)

Athanasia Al Ghul

Tallant Wayne

Janan Al-Ghul

Saif Al-Ghul

Taj Al Ghul

Selina Kyle's Children

Helena Wayne

Tivali Wayne

Echo Wayne

Aion

Diana Prince's Children

Kull

Unnamed Batman

Unnamed Batwoman

Other Mothers

Kiki Wayne

Bruce Wayne Jr (either born by unname or Kathy Kane)

Birthed By Bruce*

*Jokes guys he made it/DNA cloning

Robin the Toy Wonder

Terry McGinnis

Matt McGinnis

Yet to Sort

Ryan Wayne

Bruce Wayne Jr

May Wayne

Adopted:

Dick Grayson

Lance Burner

Cassandra Cain

Jason Todd

Tim Drake (Technically he refuses to be adopted and is a ward)

Duke Thomas (Technically his uncle has custody of him but people keep telling me he’s adopted so maybe i missed something)

Jarro

Alina Wayne

Turner Hayes

Kal-El

Nyesha Burroughs Wayne

Roger Burnim Jr

Jackie Napier

Bryce Napier

Stephanie Trevor

Mentored (aka basically his kids)

Stephanie Brown

Barbara Gordon

Carrie Kelley

Jean-Paul Valley

Claire Clover

Henry Clover

Maps Mizoguchi

Harper Row

Cullen Row

Joker's Son (unnamed)

Anita Jean/Jenny Wren

Drake Winston

Rui Aramiya

Barbara Wilson

The Kid count: 51

otherwise known as Bruce's coping method is "become father"

[ineveryfandom]

@mxmortea 🫡

part 1

-

Steph, just getting home after a long day of school and work: im home mom…is there food in the fridge?

Steph:

Steph, going to the kitchen: mom?

Bruce, guiltily standing to the side while Crystal attempts to save their burning dinner:

Steph:

Steph: i told you not to let him cook

Crystal: i folded the moment he looked at me with those eyes

Bruce: 🥺

Crystal: he only visits once a week

Crystal: i haven’t grown immune yet

Bruce, perking up: i can-

Steph: no.

Bruce, immediately deflating:

Steph:

Steph: …twice a week. that’s it.

Bruce, perking up again: thank you, angel 🥹

Crystal: looks like you aren’t immune either

Steph, embarrassed: mom!

Duke, in the principal’s office after getting into a fight:

Principal: i am aware of the situation with your parents

Bully, smirking:

Principal: …do you have anyone else i can ca-

Bruce, bursting in: im here!

Principal:

Bully: *pales*

Bully’s parents: *pales*

5 minutes later

Duke, shyly: thanks bruce

Bruce, squeezing his shoulder: no problem, sunshine

Barbara:

Jim:

Bruce:

Barbara: …bruce. what are you doing here.

Bruce: family dinner

Barbara:

Jim:

Bruce:

Bruce: i brought pizza

Barbara:

Jim:

Bruce:

Barbara: …just go get a plate. and grab me a drink.

Bruce, running off with a smile: sure

Jim:

Barbara:

Jim: i should just let him have you

Jim: im feeling sorry for the guy

Barbara: wow dad, im really feeling the love

Bruce, back again, holding Barbara’s favorite smoothie: here you go, honey

Barbara:

Barbara: where did you even get this

Bruce: the smoothie place

Jim: that’s two blocks away

Bruce: i know

Jim: you were gone for thirty seconds

Bruce: i know

Jim:

Jim: so do you want ketchup with that or-

Jarro: 😄

Bruce: i’d kill myself for you, love

Jarro: …😧

Wally West-Grayson: so this means you’re our dad now huh

Bruce:

Koryand’r West-Grayson: you are the father!

Bruce:

Dick: guys what have you done

Wally: ?

Kory: ?

Dick: now you’ll never escape…

Wally & Kory: ???

*Kory’s baby pictures suddenly appear everywhere in the mansion*

Kory: 😧

*Wally’s first paycheck is framed next to Dick’s*

Wally: wtf

*Kory’s first tooth is found and displayed with the rest*

Kory: 😧

*Wally’s Kid Flash costume spawns in the batcave*

Wally: wtf

Bruce, pulling Wally into a hug: welcome home, precious

Bruce, kissing Kory’s forehead: welcome home, princess

[puppetmaster13u]

Continuing This Idea with sketches

Like to think the slugpup batkids have a few different abilities. Like Duke still having his light abilities, but something more similar to being a living flashbang especially at the tail. Jason able to fire projectiles from his tail, Barbara with a pattern similar to a vulture mask preventing most things from attacking from behind, etc. Also decided Harley will be a yellow lizard, and Damian might be half Scavenger. Yes this implies the League are a tribe of Scavengers. (I am open to more ideas)

[hehether]

Power of rainbow 🌈

[littlefankingdom]

The best thing about Jarro is how it shows that if someone calls Bruce "dad"/"father"/any parent related terms, he accepts his new role immediately. No debate, the alien calls him "dad" so he is his dad. Random kid calls him "dad", he brings him home. That's his, now.

Jokingly calling Batman "dad" or "mom"? Jokes on you, you're his child now.

And we don't use that enough in this fandom.

[incorrectbatfam]

[wtungsten]

i was inspired by this post to try to make a somewhat coherent guide to the Robins ^^

you can find the full slideshow here :D

[superbat-love]

Clark: So between the two of us, we have… a lot of kids together.

Bruce: A thousand and twenty-three kids, to be exact.

Clark: According to the last official count, anyway. And, umm, this is kind of embarrassing to admit…

Therapist: Whatever you say here stays within this room, Clark.

Clark: Sometimes, it gets confusing. Last weekend, I took the kids to the beach, but… I accidentally left one of them behind.

Bruce: Is that why there was an actual starfish lying on the couch instead of our alien starfish son?

Clark: I-I found him and brought him back! It was an honest mistake.

Therapist: ...I see. [jots down notes]

Clark: And yesterday, it was Jarro 101’s and Jarro 102’s birthday, so I bought two pairs of boots. But then I realized it was also Jarro 103’s and Jarro 104’s birthday, so… the four of them ended up with just one boot each! [sniffles] I messed up.

Bruce: I told you it wasn’t an issue, Clark.

Therapist: And how did the kids react?

Bruce: I told them that only an elite few would receive one Boot, and they’re thrilled. They haven’t stopped bragging about their “exclusive presents.” Although, in hindsight, it might not have been the best idea. I had to fend off a few calls from someone named Ronaldo. Those kids can be very competitive.

Clark: [wiping his eyes] I just wanted to get proper gifts for the kids, you know? It’s hard sometimes because they keep self-replicating, and my wallet’s taking a serious beating. But… I can’t even be upset when Bruce looks so happy about it. Am I… Am I a bad dad?

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

If I had a nickel for every time a member of the Justice League adopted a baby alien starfish as his sidekick...

I'd have two nickels.

[dying-isnt-good-for-your-health]

This is every Robin to ever hold the title

[pkmn-lillie]

thinking about Batman saying "Robin, report." and every Robin, past and present, starts talking.

[kyxhiin]

Halloween special!

The JL are hosting a Halloween party for some whatever reason, but who cares? It's fun! The Bats are, well the bats but they switched their costumes. Batman was forced into an early days robin suit by his kids (If you know you know) , Nightwing was Red hood, Spoiler and Black bat did a switcharoo, Red Hood was regrettably Red Robin (there was no one else to take ans he would rather DIE before wearing Batmans costume), Red Robin was regrettably Red hood (same situation with Red hood, but he just doesnt fit in the Batman costume right), Robin was Nightwing. Signal happily wore the Batman costume as Jarro wore signals.

The supes was a bit more creative Superman was kryptonite (no joke, he painted a diamond costume green and just wore that.), Super boy(Kon) was Santa Claus and no I will not elaborate on that, Super boy(Jon) is casper the friendly white ghost and I will also not elaborate on that it just is. Kara had a French fry costume and I will also refuse to elaborate on that.

Wonderwoman went as herself because, why not?

Shazam fam was a tad bit strange Captain Marvel had a big old baby onesie on(how did that man find his size), complete with a Bonnet. Mary Marvel had a grandma costume complete with a thrift store grandma sleeping gown, curly grey wig, and a rolling pin. Captain Marvel Junior could only be described as an overworked mom. When they were asked what they were they only replied with "Dysfunctional family."

[yellowballoondogs]

Bat kids

[sanguinesmi1e]

DPXDC Scum Villain Self-Saving System crossover prompt:

Dash Baxter's Self Saving System

Danny Phantom exists in the DC universe. . . as a TV show. Robin grew up watching Danny and identifies strongly with the young hero. It’s fun escapism! One night after patrol while ranting online about how stupid Phantom Planet is as a finale, how many dropped plot threads there are, how so much of the rich worldbuilding is just throwaway lines that are never explored again, Robin triggers the Transmigration System and gets isekai-ed into Amity Park. 

Now Robin is trapped in the role of Schoolyard Bully Dash Baxter and must fix the plot and avoid OOC behavior in order to return home.

Which Robin is it? I can see this going several ways: 1) Tim Drake: Already canonically a huge nerd and would absolutely hate being stuck in the role of mean dumb jock. Would manage to become best friends with the everlasting trio as soon as he got the OOC function turned off. Tucker would love geeking out with Tim over tech, and Sam would pick up on his gothic Bat vibes. He transmigrates because a combination of sleep deprivation, untreated injuries from vigilantism, compromised immune system from lack of spleen, and an unhealthy dose of caffeine cause him to keel over and die like Shen Yuan. With Dash’s natural athleticism and Tim’s ingenuity he could either cobble together or get his hands on some anti-ecto weaponry and become Hunter to Val’s Huntress. Would definitely trigger a whole new plotline around clones. Meanwhile back in Gotham Batman is going off the rails after a second Robin dies on his watch. 2) Jason: Gets isekai-ed during the explosion in Ethiopia. His revival is predicated on him completing the plot in Amity Park. UTRH is subverted by his quest to get back to Danny/bring Danny to Gotham. He's learned better coping strategies from Jazz. Sneaks into Fentonworks and steals a bunch of weapons immediately. Shoots Spectra in the face with the Fenton Bazooka the second she shows up. He'd love having Mr. Lancer for English. 3) Dick: Recently took up the mantle of Nightwing and broke away from Bruce. Does not enjoy being a teen again in high school (with normie parents! ugh!!). Actually doesn’t have a difficult time adjusting to Dash’s social life since he’s a natural leader and very charismatic, and unlike Dash isn't cruel and violent. Absolutely has a difficult time adjusting to Dash’s physique because it is *not bendy enough* and he keeps on pulling muscles. Returns to Gotham to discover Jason’s death and calls in a favor from Danny to find his brother’s wandering spirit. 4) Stephanie: Trans Dash Baxter with Stephanie’s personality actually sounds amazing. I think she’d still pursue Jazz like Dash did, but with a much higher rate of success. Not sure if it would be fair to drop someone as hot as a trans version of Stephanie in Amity though, she would become the main character and everyone would forget the ghost boy. 5) Damian: not sure where I’d go with this, but it could be fun. He’d probably stab Vlad, which I would enjoy. Might also stab Star and Paulina, which would get him nerfed by the System. Would probably first seek out Vlad to obtain weaponry comparable to Huntress' and manipulate him into believing they shared a common goal, then betray him at a key moment. He has lots of experience dealing with megalomaniacal rich men from his time with Ra's and the League. Would get on great with Dani. 5) Jarro: Please please please someone write this I have no idea how, but it would be hilarious and Jarro would be seriously weirded out by having a human body. Whether this is a ship or platonic relationship depends on the pairing I think.

[steph-the-4th-robin]

Results from Worst Batman, Batgirl, and Robin

The lists go from who had the least amount of votes to who had the most.

Worst Batman:

Dick Grayson - 1.7% Terry McGinnis - 2.7% Damian Wayne - 2.7% Helena Wayne - 3.7% Jace Fox - 7% Bruce Wayne - 7.4% (man couldnt even make top 5, couldnt make the bottom 5 either) Thomas Wayne - 8% Jason Todd - 12.4% Tim Drake - 13.7% Jim Gordon - 15.4% Jean Paul Valley - 25.4%

Total Votes: 299

Worst Batgirl:

Cassandra Cain - 0% Stephanie Brown - 2.9% Tiffany Fox - 5.8% Barbara Gordon - 7.7% Nissa - 8.7% Helena Bertinelli - 15.4% Bette Kane 26.9% Charlie Gage Radcliffe - 32.7%

Total Votes: 104

Worst Robin:

Dick Grayson - 0% Duke Thomas - 0.8% Jason Todd - 2.9% Damian Wayne - 3.3% Stephanie Brown - 3.8% Tim Drake - 8.8% Maps Mizoguchi - 10.5% Matt McGinnis - 10.5% Helena Wayne - 13% Carrie Kelley - 15.9% Jarro - 30.5%

Total Votes: 239

[artbytaz]

The Batty Bunch!!