#Jarro the Starro

[writingpoorly]

This could go so many fun ways!

Ramble under the cut <3

Dick with Harley? (You could also play off of Joker jr for the angst) peak chaos circus vibes (the joker has disappeared under mysterious circumstances and not even Batman can prove that Dick did anything). Maybe he could be called Jester and do a lot of exposing the upper-class in Gotham. Since Jesters are traditionally the ones that would call out the king etc.

Barbara with Ivy? Killer combo. (I've also written her as a grey hat hacker in one of my fics before, but that feels a little uninspired. Plus in my proposed scenario Joker gets killed early on so even as smart as Babs is, she wouldn't be forced into an admin position, so likely wouldn't be as likely to take one.) One of the Batman cartoons has the two of them be friends before Ivy gets mutated and I love the idea of Babs putting her mega brain toward saving the earth. Pollution would have ended. (I'm also a sucker for DickBabs and HarlIvy and the comedic potential my scenario presents? hilarious.)

Jason with Selina? (Honestly any of the kids could go to her but I like mama's boy Jay I've also seen him go to Ivy, but I don't really see that for him?) he'd be such a good thief pupil. Just scrappy street kid Jason turned international thief Stray that still goes back to the Alley to help the kids as much as he can. He'd be more cynical in this version when e finds out about his birth mom and wouldn't be as trusting so likely no Jay death.

If Tim was a rogue he'd be his own i think. Very unsocialized genius vibes (stalking as a form of affection, gets angry w bruce for any perceived unheroic behavior) Shutter or Timothy Jackson Drake totally honest business man (Chess master?)(naturally he takes over a lot of Penguin's enterprises, or perhaps others in an absolute brutal and sudden takeover). Though I do also like Riddler taking him in and them trying to outsmart each other (it's not really a contest, but Eddie gives Tim more positive attention from a parental figure than he's ever gotten in the rest of his life.) I think Myst, the creator and solver of mysteries could be a cool name for this version.

Stephanie would NOT be Cluemaster's pupil. She became Spoiler for good reason! (maybe goes to Riddler just to be petty) If she's nit a straight up vigilante, ruining the plans of the rogues, I'm not sure she'd be involved in the hero/villain dynamic at all. Maybe she shoes up on one of their doorstops and demands they train/take her in, but she just so independent I think she'd be Spoiler again. Maybe someone else can figure out how to flavor that as not a vigilante. I mean, if she's still stopping the rogues who's to say who's a vigilante and who's an anti-hero?

Cass and Damian (make me very sad) were both raised to be assassins/weapons (albeit differently) so in a universe where the kids don't become vigilantes I think they'd continue on those paths. Maybe Cass gets taken in by Lady Shiva, maybe she never escapes David Cain, maybe Cass kills her birth father (trainer, abuser) and lives the rest of her life as a shadow. In the same vein Damian has a lot of maybes surrounding him. I do think in a world where Bruce doesn't have to temper himself by caring for a kid that he wouldn't necessarily be as kind, which is crazy to think about. Maybe Talia wouldn't feel Damian would be better with his father. Maybe when she feels it's unsafe for Dami in the shadow of his Grandfather she kills her father instead of sending her son away for a (hopefully) safer life. Maybe Damian Grows up as his mother's right hand and eventual enforcer of her will before he takes over or his heir(s) take over their empire.

Duke is interesting in my proposed universe, I've killed off the Joker so Duke's parents would be fine. Maybe his powers wouldn't awaken because he's under less stress? He'd still be charismatic and a magnetic leader, though I think that gets glassed over. Capitalizing simply off of that, maybe he takes over for Sionas one day. In such a way that no one even protests the change. His organization gains a better reputation, though the shadows of it's past are just barely hidden behind Duke's magnetic light.

Jarro never breaks off of Starro :(

I don't know enough about the others to speculate, but feel free to add to this or respectfully tell me why I'm wrong. ^v^

I’m definitely an au where some of the bat kids are villains or anti heroes and raised by various rogues instead of Bruce but I need some ideas

[incorrectbatfam]

[hehether]

Power of rainbow 🌈

[superbat-love]

Clark: So between the two of us, we have… a lot of kids together.

Bruce: A thousand and twenty-three kids, to be exact.

Clark: According to the last official count, anyway. And, umm, this is kind of embarrassing to admit…

Therapist: Whatever you say here stays within this room, Clark.

Clark: Sometimes, it gets confusing. Last weekend, I took the kids to the beach, but… I accidentally left one of them behind.

Bruce: Is that why there was an actual starfish lying on the couch instead of our alien starfish son?

Clark: I-I found him and brought him back! It was an honest mistake.

Therapist: ...I see. [jots down notes]

Clark: And yesterday, it was Jarro 101’s and Jarro 102’s birthday, so I bought two pairs of boots. But then I realized it was also Jarro 103’s and Jarro 104’s birthday, so… the four of them ended up with just one boot each! [sniffles] I messed up.

Bruce: I told you it wasn’t an issue, Clark.

Therapist: And how did the kids react?

Bruce: I told them that only an elite few would receive one Boot, and they’re thrilled. They haven’t stopped bragging about their “exclusive presents.” Although, in hindsight, it might not have been the best idea. I had to fend off a few calls from someone named Ronaldo. Those kids can be very competitive.

Clark: [wiping his eyes] I just wanted to get proper gifts for the kids, you know? It’s hard sometimes because they keep self-replicating, and my wallet’s taking a serious beating. But… I can’t even be upset when Bruce looks so happy about it. Am I… Am I a bad dad?

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

If I had a nickel for every time a member of the Justice League adopted a baby alien starfish as his sidekick...

I'd have two nickels.

[wtungsten]

i was inspired by this post to try to make a somewhat coherent guide to the Robins ^^

you can find the full slideshow here :D

[pkmn-lillie]

thinking about Batman saying "Robin, report." and every Robin, past and present, starts talking.

[kyxhiin]

Halloween special!

The JL are hosting a Halloween party for some whatever reason, but who cares? It's fun! The Bats are, well the bats but they switched their costumes. Batman was forced into an early days robin suit by his kids (If you know you know) , Nightwing was Red hood, Spoiler and Black bat did a switcharoo, Red Hood was regrettably Red Robin (there was no one else to take ans he would rather DIE before wearing Batmans costume), Red Robin was regrettably Red hood (same situation with Red hood, but he just doesnt fit in the Batman costume right), Robin was Nightwing. Signal happily wore the Batman costume as Jarro wore signals.

The supes was a bit more creative Superman was kryptonite (no joke, he painted a diamond costume green and just wore that.), Super boy(Kon) was Santa Claus and no I will not elaborate on that, Super boy(Jon) is casper the friendly white ghost and I will also not elaborate on that it just is. Kara had a French fry costume and I will also refuse to elaborate on that.

Wonderwoman went as herself because, why not?

Shazam fam was a tad bit strange Captain Marvel had a big old baby onesie on(how did that man find his size), complete with a Bonnet. Mary Marvel had a grandma costume complete with a thrift store grandma sleeping gown, curly grey wig, and a rolling pin. Captain Marvel Junior could only be described as an overworked mom. When they were asked what they were they only replied with "Dysfunctional family."

[yellowballoondogs]

Bat kids

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

All of Batman's kids

For those who still haven't realised how big Bruce's problem is

(Note: some of these are in alternate universes)

Biological

Damian Wayne

Athanasia Al Ghul

Helena Wayne

Ryan Wayne

Bruce Wayne Jr

Terry McGinnis (These guys are weird cause it's technically his DNA but like)

Matt McGinnis

Tallant Wayne

Kull

Echo Wayne-Kyke

Janan Al-Ghul

Saif Al-Ghul

Taj Al-Ghul

May Wayne

Robin the Toy Wonder (no clue where to put him under because he's one of the robots, but batsy programmed him so that counts as childbirth)

Adopted:

Dick Grayson

Lance Burner

Cassandra Cain

Jason Todd

Tim Drake (Technically he refuses to be adopted and is a ward)

Duke Thomas (Technically his uncle has custody of him but people keep telling me he’s adopted so maybe i missed something)

Jarro

Alina Wayne

Turner Hayes

Mentored (aka basically his kids)

Stephanie Brown

Barbara Gordon

Carrie Kelley

Jean-Paul Valley

Claire Clover

Henry Clover

Maps Mizoguchi

Harper Row

Cullen Row

Joker's Son (unnamed)

Anita Jean/Jenny Wren

The Kid count: 35

otherwise known as Bruce's coping method is "become father"

[littlefankingdom]

The best thing about Jarro is how it shows that if someone calls Bruce "dad"/"father"/any parent related terms, he accepts his new role immediately. No debate, the alien calls him "dad" so he is his dad. Random kid calls him "dad", he brings him home. That's his, now.

Jokingly calling Batman "dad" or "mom"? Jokes on you, you're his child now.

And we don't use that enough in this fandom.

[artbytaz]

The Batty Bunch!!

[junespriince]

if you orphan a batfam work you are literally orphaning orphans, unless it an orphan fic then it orphaning an orphaned orphan fic which is okay!

[skidkiid]

[jarro-stan-account]

Jarro (starfish son in a Robin costume) sitting on Bruce’s shoulder issuing a declaration of war is crackier than half of all fic and the best of all comics

[steph-the-4th-robin]

Results from Worst Batman, Batgirl, and Robin

The lists go from who had the least amount of votes to who had the most.

Worst Batman:

Dick Grayson - 1.7% Terry McGinnis - 2.7% Damian Wayne - 2.7% Helena Wayne - 3.7% Jace Fox - 7% Bruce Wayne - 7.4% (man couldnt even make top 5, couldnt make the bottom 5 either) Thomas Wayne - 8% Jason Todd - 12.4% Tim Drake - 13.7% Jim Gordon - 15.4% Jean Paul Valley - 25.4%

Total Votes: 299

Worst Batgirl:

Cassandra Cain - 0% Stephanie Brown - 2.9% Tiffany Fox - 5.8% Barbara Gordon - 7.7% Nissa - 8.7% Helena Bertinelli - 15.4% Bette Kane 26.9% Charlie Gage Radcliffe - 32.7%

Total Votes: 104

Worst Robin:

Dick Grayson - 0% Duke Thomas - 0.8% Jason Todd - 2.9% Damian Wayne - 3.3% Stephanie Brown - 3.8% Tim Drake - 8.8% Maps Mizoguchi - 10.5% Matt McGinnis - 10.5% Helena Wayne - 13% Carrie Kelley - 15.9% Jarro - 30.5%

Total Votes: 239