#JAIL FOR HIM

[fortheloveofaussiegrit]

Mark Webber interviewing Sebastian Vettel after qualifying at the 2017 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

[mossy123302]

Yeah, so Phil is just homophobic (/j )and a bastard-

He knew. He knew what he was doing and purposely put "MY" Missa. He watched us with amusement as every single crow in chat lost their mind. He knows how much we need the Missa crumbs.

HE KNOWS

I need Ender King to come back and punt this guy for me. Strangle Phil or whatever. I need this bird gone.

Aughhh....

I honestly do wonder what Ender King's end goals were though. Like, if he somehow won, to some degree because obviously Phil would be fighting back every once in a while. How would the Ender King like..even navigate the QSMP life, deal with a certain wet cat who just appears and immediately figures out that he isn't Phil. (The way Missa was quick to realize that Roier wasn't... himself) If Missa doesn't figure out- would-

Like- would Ender King simply keep Missa, Chayanne and Tallulah simply because they're something unique and is what keeps Phil tame? Would he just play along in this...platonic relationship and family vibe with this family or immediately strike them down and just find a way to overtake the Federation. (o7 to federation because a god is not on their bucket list)

Also I've been hearing that "Silly Billy" over TikTok and honestly? I feel like it could potentially fit O!Smp Philza with Q! Missa

Or maybe D!Smp Philza?

Those two different variants are so different, but when you place them with Q! Missa. It's such a shocking difference because while Missa would treat them with kindness and respect, he'd never treat them the same as Q! Philza. They're not his platonic spouse, and are different variants. So do you think...they get a little desperate to get that type of same love/affectionate from Missa?

Yes, I'm aware D!Smp Philza is canon to Philza- so this is probably something even more funny cause Q! Missa probably got tossed into the past somehow and must try to avoid changing everything (ends up changing everything). This is like some isekai trope idea-

Missa: This is fine, just avoid everyone and live peacefully and find a way back home

Philza: Hm. I like this strange skeleton. He isn't mean and treats me with respect and kindness, he even ate Techno's potatoes.

Missa, internally: OH NO

[anitalianfrie]

My irl friend is a Costcappen girlie... He will never see the greatness of my princess 😔

[shiningshard]

Stop side-eyeing me you goddamn rapscallion.

[fiasco95]

Sirius: Regulus got arrested at 2 in the morning. Guess who he called?

Sirius: Oh, James? His fiancé, logical choice right? No.

Sirius: Oh? Then, me. His brother, the most obvious choice at this point! No.

Mary: I’m confused, who the fuck did he call then?

Sirius, pointing at Remus: Him. And they got maccies right fucking after!! Instead of letting James and I know!

Regulus, nodding: Brother-in-law.

Remus, nodding back: Brother-in-law.

[excali8ur]

When you meet your past lives but they're all ignoring you and freaking out over this one guy?

I've seen a few versions of this floating around with the different Leos and I wanted to have a go at doing one for Mikey. They're all collectively realising what a bus sized bullet they dodged by not ending up as messed up as Ronin

[yeyinde]

thinking about Simon who just gets out of prison for murder after he's been locked up since he was 18, and starts working at a slaughterhouse for his parole. a big, scary dog who has bloodstains all over him, permanently crusted in the crease of his nails because he prefers field dressing over dragging the carcass inside the shop. who always smells of iron and sweat, and looms over you like he was trying to keep everyone else from looking at you. possessive, but you only know him from rumours and blog posts. his stare, the intense, hungry way he looks at you always gives you the creeps.

he's bad news. and he tries to woo you by feeding you meat from the animals he butchered (getting angry whenever you buy cuts from someone else), and won't go away even when you tell him to leave you alone. you've heard the rumours. read the news articles. nothing about this man is any good—

but he won't, of course. the thing about prison is that you need to hold onto the things that you have and take the stuff that you don't. a sort of cutthroat survival that has raised him better than his own mother. so, when he finds you (something he doesn't have, but wants), it's just in his nature to take.

[unknownmads]

CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT INMATE TOJI AND CUTE LITTLE Y/N WHOS SO NAIVE TO BIG BAD TOJI

CW: Slight smut (mentions of his pp🤭)

☆☆☆

thinking about Prison toji who you met when your college has you do a little project in your criminal psychology class. The project was make a penpal get to know them ask why they are in prision, what their lives before was like, do they regret what they did etc. basic questions of course all you had to do was get the most information out of the penpal about their personal lives as you could.

Prison Toji who only signed up for the program because it was part of his latest court order saying he ‘needed more understanding’ so a penpal would give him a friend while they stay safe😭 he ofc hated the idea and thought it was the dumbest shit ever. until he got his first letter, from you (duh).

Prison toji who got mail for the first time and it was a little white envelope with a cute little sticker sealing it. He deadpanned *is my penpal an idiot these letters are for a prison not a daycare* he silently judges examining every detail as he opened the letter. i read the letter taking in every little personal detail you shared with him, your cute little name, how you loved your cat, how you’re new to the city only just moving for school, of course the boring questions for him as well. But at the very end of the letter he noticed an extra little note.

Ps. i left a few photos of myself along with some of my cat! i think it’s only fair since i got to see your photo on the website

Prison toji who grabs the envelope he previously had thrown to the side and pulls out 3 polaroids. One of you and probably your cat you’re dragging it into the photo with a big grin on your face. the second is a photo of your face a soft smile on your lips meant for whoever took the photo but Toji couldn’t help but wonder if that little smile was for him. Until he pulls out the third photo it’s a full view of you, you’re out in the city dressed all out, and Toji couldn’t help but know you chose that photo just for him.

Prison Toji who can’t wait to finally get some alone time so he can truly appreciate your pretty photos. And immediately goes to write you back answering all your cute little questions. Telling you where he lived before, how he ended up there, telling you what he did for work before (Surprise he sold drugs😍), telling you what he does to occupy his time here (he works out he just wanted an excuse to tell you how strong he is), and he asks you some questions.

Prison Toji who has been relentlessly flirting with since you started writing to him, asking if you had a boyfriend, how your school was going, why you moved to the city, how a cute lil thing like you is still single. You had been writing each other for a few weeks now which is a lot less than you think when you know how long mail takes. But your letters to each other are long. answering every little thing each other asks, learning about one another more and more. You had really connected so you finally ask him the big question he read the words as clear as day.

~Do you think i could come pay you a visit? ~

Prison Toji who had to immediately write back answering the most important question first.

~ And doll, you can come visit me anytime id love to finally meet you and see your pretty face in person~

he wanted to be nonchalant.

Prison Toji who was sitting in bed looking at your photos when he was called

“Zenin, you’ve got a visitor. away from the door.”

Prison Toji silently followed standing on the other side of the cell while the guard came in to handcuff him and bring him to the visiting area. Once he was in the room his cuffs connecting him to the table he waited. until he heard the door open again. He felt his cock twitch in his pants as he saw the guard guide you in. You were wide eyed taking in the new environment until they landed on him.

Prison Toji was large, you knew he was tall and muscular thanks to his letters and photo but nothing could have prepared you for the real deal. Eyes widening even more when you fully take him in. seated At the grey metal table his hands on the table as the guard had told him to. his hair poking at his eyes which were staring drinking you in. his lip in a smirk helping you notice the scar on it which you couldn’t really see from the grainy prison photos. His shirt stretched against his muscles showing off a few tattoos hidden along his skin. the view making you squeeze your thighs together to release some of the pressure building.

Prison Toji who took in as much of you as he could as he watched you shuffle into your seat across from him, enjoying how you squirmed slightly within his gaze, his smirk growing into an almost full smile.

“hey doll it’s good to finally meet you.”

[bertoyana]

#ship so good they (accidentally) gave each other abandonment issues

[royalarchivist]

Etoiles:

Etoiles: [Less than 30 seconds later]

[jakei95]

My sister's baby is not letting me work tonight 😭

[userarmand]

Speaking of things that might surprise you, did you know about Armand's betrayal or was that something you just read in the script?

Assad: What betrayal? What betrayal?

[multiverse-singularity]

He's gonna get ya some day old man!

[grimfantas]

10 years in the future for Nanako-chan

[foxflamingo]

I learned something new about fairies

Omg I almost killed Peri with this>

More fairies being fairies>>

[pangur-and-grim]

Belphie is such an interesting kitten, compared to the other two.

baby Grim presented some challenges, because she loved to destroy property (mostly climbing various shelves and mantles and knocking everything she could to the floor), she was mildly aggressive toward Marmaduke the family cat (she felt that at the ripe age of 4 months, she deserved to be king), and she was fairly aloof for a kitten, more into running about than cuddling. in most ways, she was like a tiny mafia boss.

Pangur I instantly soul-bonded with, because she was so sickly and pathetic. and neurotic, too - everything was scary to her, people, places and animals. she’d explore the house and play, but there was always an ‘expecting an eagle to swoop down and grab her’ energy.

now Belphie! he’s a healthy active boy with zero fear, and zero aggression, but (fortunately or unfortunately) someone cranked his Play button to maximum and then broke off the handle. he is either fast asleep, and the cutest kitten on earth, or racing about and flailing and climbing and pouncing. which means that he can’t be let outside the kitten room unsupervised yet, because his baby willpower is only so strong, and he will eventually break and start jumping on Pangur and Grim. so in a way, he’s the healthiest happiest cat I’ve ever had, but he’s also the most complicated, because he still has to spend most of his time jailed in the kitten room.