#i wish i knew how lawsuits happened better to write this kind of au...

[where-is-vivian]

rosekiller but barty, instead of rejecting the path his father laid out for him, goes to law school and becomes a lawyer.

one day he has to defend a man who's accused of the most heinous crimes, and when he meets him, he comes face to face with pretty-face evan. And, despite having called barty to defend him to avoid jail, the first thing he says to him is "I did all of it".

[satrangee-ray]

The Snack of a Lifetime

Book: Open Heart 3 and beyond.

Pairing(s): Ethan × NB!MC {Dr Inara Hepburn (she/they)}.

Rating: Teen+

Summary: Inara barges into the DT room with some obnoxious snacks to force Ethan into taking a break. But is that all they have in mind, or will their brilliant plan saved for later take him by pleasant surprise?

Category: Fluff, banter, life decisions and celebrations 🎉😁✌.

Trope: Weddings and Proposals.

Warning(s): one or two swear words, mention of a sex act.

Writer's note: By the time this starts, Ethan and MC have already said their 'I love you's, are in a committed relationship, and more or less everyone knows about it. In my original HC for Inara and Ethan they don't get married this early, so this is kind of an AU cause I really wanted to write a proposal fic. Also the whole lawsuit drama didn't happen, cause I said so, and most sane people would agree.

Ethan wasn't used to receiving.

It was apparent in the way he interacted with the world, immediately getting suspicious of anyone who would remotely extend some sort of courtesy towards him. 

He knew if he ever wanted to have something for himself, no one but he would have to take initiative to go get it. And for two-way processes like relationships, he had no belief whatsoever on the legitimacy of such things.

That was until Inara waltzed into his life, and amazed him with the possibility that he could be on the receiving end of good things without having to worry about any strings attached. Be it love, or a blowjob, or "care", as he previously liked to call it– the best things life ever had to offer were simply falling into his lap, and he couldn't find himself complaining.

Inara cared, in the truest sense of the word.

She cared enough to take off his glasses and cover him up in warm blankets, whenever he would fall asleep with an open medical journal in his hands. She cared enough to know just how he liked his coffee, or to school his scotch habits whenever they would get a little out of hand. And presently, she cared enough to let him work overtime, by agreeing to grab lunch with Tobias instead.

Ethan couldn't afford to take breaks. These days, he had to work even in between shifts, to finish editing his second medical book decently before it's approaching release date.

.

.

(One month before Inara's board exams)

.

The diagnostics office sat deserted, except for one doctor. A wooden desk, with papers sprawled all around. Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose, as he kept his glasses aside.

Suddenly the office door swung open, and three figures strolled in. Two practically tumbled, giggling overenthusiastically. The third one was Harper, who calmly walked in holding a tray, and shook her head with an amused expression.

Ethan looked up, and saw Tobias and Inara, each triumphantly holding up all their 10 fingers at him.

"Ring Chips!" Inara squealed, running towards Ethan. "Si baked these last night, and brought them as extra snacks for her fourteen hour shift today, but of course, we managed to hog some. So dig in!"

Ethan cautiously eyed the bright yellow crisps looped through Inara's fingers, and said, "you're not expecting me to eat those atrocities, are you?"

"Did you just call Sienna's baked goods an atrocity? That's wrong on so many levels E, lemme just get her on the phone..."

"NO", Ethan replied on high alert.

"That's what I thought. Cause bold words for someone who struggles even with a pancake."

Tobias and Harper chuckled, struggling in vain to stifle it.

"Fine, give me one here", Ethan said, extending his hand towards Harper's tray which contained the particular baked snacks.

"Nope, that's not the way", Inara stopped him, slapping his hand. "If you're doing this, you gotta do it right."

A loud exhale escaped Ethan. "What now, Rookie?"

"E, you can't just pick one chip and eat it, okay? You gotta slip it through your finger, and try to grab it with your mouth, the childhood nostalgia way. Like this."

Inara brought their hand to their mouth, and swallowed one whole finger, sucking on it until the chip looped through it flew backwards into their mouth. They proceeded to chew on it, staring straight into Ethan's eyes. 

He was so screwed. 

Turning away from Inara's gaze with tremendous effort, he wordlessly picked up a chip loop from the tray and tried to slip it into his finger.

"Too small", Tobias remarked, and handed him another. "Try a bigger one."

This time the ring effortlessly slipped through his finger, sitting perfectly at it's base. Ethan stared at it, perplexed, for a few moments.

"Yes! Now consume it with your mouth", Inara's excited cheers continued.

Harper couldn't hold in a scoff, while the youngest doctor in the room remained blissfully unaware of the implications of their phrase.

Ethan's mouth opened in protest, but he realized it's futility immediately and decided to close it. Scrunching up his entire face, in disbelief that he was actually doing this, he lowered his head, and slowly raised his hand to his face.

When his finger holding the chip was well within his reach, he opened his mouth once again to grab it. But just when he was about to take the bite, Inara acted quickly and slipped the chip out of his finger, causing Ethan to bite into his own skin instead. 

"Aahh, Nars what the hell! Are you nuts?"

The three other doctors in the room unabashedly cracked up now, not bothering to hide their glee in Ethan being tortured like that.

Inara began stroking his beard softly, before leaving a quick kiss on his cheek.

Shades of light pink took over it in response.

"You should have acted faster, honey", Inara said, taking his hands into theirs. Another gentle peck landed on his lips.

"Now I'm already running late, there's this patient I have to check on, gotta yeet. But you better finish the rest of those snacks, along with the real food we brought you for lunch, and for God's sake, please look up from those damn papers for five minutes, and take a freakin' chill pill!" 

The last words were shouted as they rushed out the door.

Ethan and Tobias sighed.

"They're the best thing that has ever happened to you"

"Indeed", Ethan said in earnest. "I'll be very inclined to agree."

.

.

(Four months after Inara's board exams)

.

The gorgeous venue sparkled with chandeliers and boujee people in expensive suits. Small round tables, aesthetic chairs, congratulations in order everywhere. No, it wasn't the medical industry's 'it' couple getting married, it was the 'it' doctor, and the chief of medicine's second book getting launched instead. 

Ethan had walked into the Edenbrook atrium that morning like it was a war zone. His expression still spelt terror, as he uneasily shifted his glance between some of his guests, shooting small, forced smiles their way.

"Why do we always have to do this?", he had asked Naveen. "Why couldn't we just release the damn book in stores? Why host a useless social gathering with forty thousand rich snobs who are only any good at showing off and draining your energy?"

Naveen had shook his head and hit him with an assertive "it's necessary."

So currently, Ethan stood awkward to his bones, in the middle of this necessary evil. Until, a certain presence near the door cued him to look up.

It was them.

Pantsuit in a sinful vermillion, the colour glowing bright against their skin. Red bottom wedges, that only aided their boss status. Brunette locks framing their face, so impeccably contrasting the emerald eyes looking affectionately back at him. Those, which never failed to take his breath away.

Inara Hepburn.

His giver, his lover, his Rookie.

And Ethan couldn't be more mesmerized, or reassured.

"Need some help picking your jaw off the floor, Ramsey?" Inara quipped, as they strode towards Ethan, torturously slow.

"I– well…", he stammered, before clearing his throat. "Is that look the reason why you chose to arrive 'fashionably late', and drive separately to my book launch from our own apartment?"

"Yeah, definitely the look, but I daresay some other things as well", they said, placing a playful hand on Ethan's chest. "You'll soon find out."

He smiled warmly at them. "Is that a challenge?"

"Have you ever backed down from one?"

A reckless mistake of letting his eyes slip to their lips, and Ethan couldn't wait any longer. He wrapped his arms around their waist, kissing them hard and deep. Drinking in their mouth, their warmth, their sensations. Aching to draw as much energy as he could to power through this event, from his greatest source of confidence, his only constant supporter. 

"I love you so much, Rookie", he panted, after the kiss broke off.

"Some brand new information there", teased Inara, bumping their nose into his. "You know I love you too, E. Now tell me what's bothering you."

Ethan pulled back swiftly at that, and stared at them in astonishment.

"What?"

"What 'what'? It was all over your face when I entered, and you still don't look quite alright. What's wrong, love? I don't recall you being afraid of public speaking!"

"I'd address an audience in my dreams! I just don't understand what's up with these people who come up individually to congratulate me, and purposefully try to expand those two lines into a whole one-on-one conversation. Scandalous!"

Inara nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Such a mood, b*tch, such a mood."

Peels of laughter were shared again, at their effortless mutual understanding, and at the usage of Inara's all time favourite nickname.

"All the best", they wished, shaking him by the lapels of his coat. "Get out there, and kill it!"

.

.

.

About an hour later, applause sounded from every corner of the atrium. Ethan beamed, as he finished reading the last line of a snippet about his latest research from his book.

Clapping proudly from the crowds was Inara, a lover on a mission.

"Thank you everyone, for joining me here today", Ethan said, amongst cheers and buzzing words of encouragement from fellow doctors and other esteemed medical personalities. "I hope I will be able to add value to patient-care through my efforts behind this book. There are some people I would like to specifically thank for being of immense help on my journey till here, so let's begin. Dad, thank you so much for coming to support me. Means a lot. Maybe because of my personal outlook, I could never comprehend your brand of unconditional love, which you so freely offer without actively needing me to work for it. I know now how valuable and rare that is, and how it has helped me grow into the man I am today. For that I will always be grateful. Naveen, thank you so much. You know if I start listing 'what for', I won't finish."

A lighthearted chuckle spread among the crowd.

"You always keep saying my success is my own, but I firmly believe there was no way I would have been the doctor I am without your help and guidance. Thank you for being the excellent mentor and leader by example that you are, you still motivate me to become better everyday. And, last but not the least… Inara."

All eyes in the audience shifted towards one young attending, who was clutching her glass out of giddiness.

"I really want to say thank you, but those two words will never be able to express the amount of gratitude I hold towards you. Before you, my life was only ever about blacks and whites. Giving my everything into medicine, working late nights and coming back to an empty apartment with scotch in my hand, I thought I was doing it all right. But when I met you, got to know you, I… you left me in utter awe of who you are, both as a professional and as a person. I couldn't stop myself from falling in love, and in respect, with your brain, your mind, and your soul. I am so glad you were patient with me while I was busy trying to deny it. You continued to show that patience even until recently, when I was all cranky with writer's block. Now I know the great Dr. Inara Hepburn is also a published novel writer, so of course that bit might have come out of empathy, but nonetheless, I'm thankful for it. Today, I'm about to release a book I put my all into, the information in which might hopefully change the face of what I'm most passionate about – public healthcare, for the better. And I'd rather not share this moment with anyone else. So Inara, would you please honour me by coming up on stage to receive the first ever copy of 'Prognosis and Evaluation'?"

Inara couldn't speak, stunned into silence for a bit. They had no idea Ethan would be the one for emotional public speeches, and here they were, utterly moved, in for another surprise. So would he be, soon, they reasoned in their head, and gathered themselves. Keeping their drink aside on a table, they strode towards the stage, eyes shining with pride, love, and determination.

Determination to get this right.

Ethan took their hand as soon as they stepped on the first stair, and led them upstage. 

A copy of the book, new and shining, was lying, all theirs to hold.

'Prognosis and Evaluation: A comprehensive study.'

Their heart swelled at the words written on the first page of the book.

Typical Ethan's handwriting, somehow neat and gibberish at the same time.

'My love, my north star, I promise to never let you down' - Dr Ramsey Ethan <3.

Tears. Instantly, a whole lot of them rolled down their cheeks. They clutched the book hard and hugged it to their chest, holding on tight. Ethan held them in turn, locking their shaking frame in his embrace, as the crowd broke into a unanimous applause.

"E, I don't know what to say", Inara began, on being handed over the mic. "Si would have cried so much if she were present here, Naveen's already crying."

Their grandmentor smiled back at them through his tears.

"The thing is, I love success. I love standing in the spotlight, having my own life, and earning my own achievements. Despite that, there is always a deeper warmth in standing next to someone you love, when they accomplish great things, and shouting "my person!" Today, you've given me that opportunity, and I'm so grateful to you for it. I'm proud of you for believing in yourself, and speaking your voice not as a "mechanism of coping with the means of this corrupt world", but as a means to bring genuine change because you believe you can. I've always seen you try so hard to never let your loved ones down, and that effort is what I'm so here for. People like you are rare, and I'm glad I got one to myself, to constantly cheerlead for, now and as long as you'll have me. I'll never leave your side, Ethan. I'd love us to forever be each other's hype person. Not just in practice, but also… officially."

Three distinct gasps were heard in the room.

Alan, Naveen and Tobias let their pinkies lock into each other.

Ethan's eyes widened, as he took in the meaning behind their words, starting to sense what might be coming.

Doubt. Disbelief. Shock. Anticipation.

In the next moment, they were down on one knee.

"Ethan Jonah freaking Ramsey, will you marry me?"

Dead silence in the entire room, everyone taking in what just happened.

Ethan's hands flew to his mouth.

Minutes passed.

One… two… and five...

No one said a word.

Eventually, the entire audience burst into cheers and jubilation. Even in such a formal event as that, quite a few wayward whistles were heard.

And then there was the man of the hour, standing centre stage, shell shocked. Still trying to process everything.

"Inara... Rookie, I–"

He couldn't. Form words or coherent sentences. His entire focus was on the person and the tiny blue box in front of him.

"There's a ring in there for real?"

'Shit', he cursed internally. What a ridiculous question.

Of course this was real. Their love was real, they were real. He was to get married. What? Wow. Really?

Of course there would be a ring for real.

"Depends", Inara said with a wink. "On whether or not you say yes."

"Come on Ethan!" 

Encouragements burst from his acquaintances in the crowd, imploring him to say yes. His three musketeers, however, were heard the loudest.

'Yes', Ethan thought to himself. 'Yes.'

He had to say it.

"Yes", he tried whispering under his breath.

A first time, then a second.

"Yes. YES OF COURSE I’LL MARRY YOU!"

He exclaimed those words in ecstacy before dropping down on his knees as well, and pulled his lover in against him. He engulfed her in his arms, holding her so tight, it could knock the breath out of his chest. 

"Yes Inara, it would mean the world to me if I could marry you", he whispered again into her ear.

"Good thing I asked then, E", Inara whispered back, before squeezing him one last time and pulling away. 

"Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!", the crowd chanted.

The widest smile ever was shot their way, as Inara once again took hold of the navy box. She waited for both of them to steady themselves, and Ethan found himself holding his breath. 

At last, the cover of the ring case slowly lifted, to reveal… 

A bright yellow ring chip sitting right into the slit of the fabric in the case. 

Confused noises of varying degrees filled the room. Only Naveen, Tobias and Alan watched the whole scene unfold with a twinkle in their eye.

Meanwhile, Ethan's expression progressed from utter cluelessness to gradual realization.

Oh! That ring.

"Wait, how did– how come that snack didn't rot in all these days?"

"Of course it did, love. Our original measuring tape probably decomposed long ago in some trash bin outside a gold shop, after having done its job. This is merely a replica, but you can call it a token."

"Nars… what do you mean?"

"I mean…", Inara said, inserting her hand into her suit pocket, to pull out a sparkling golden band, complete with five little diamonds on top. "May I have your hand?"

"Readily, Rookie… you already have my heart. Always, for as long as you'll have me."

Ethan placed his shivering palm on Inara's steady hand, and she took the opportunity to slip the golden band through his ring finger.

A perfect fit. 

With tears in his eyes, Ethan agreed.

"I'm getting married to you."

"I'm getting married to you!"

Inara squealed at the prospect, and Ethan decided on sealing their joyous sentiment by crashing his lips onto hers in a searing kiss.

The audience went wild, but they were all forgotten in the minds of the lovebirds.

"I can't believe I get to call you fiancé", Ethan wondered in amazement.

"Me neither", said Inara, joining their foreheads together. 

"Say what, we should ask Sienna to bake our wedding cake. Three tier, with a big old fondant ring chip on top."

"What? Ethan Ramsey wants a huge a** fondant snack on the top of his wedding cake! Are you sure he's okay?"

"Yes, he is, and he would do anything for his fiancé!"

With moist eyes and full hearts, they buried themselves again in each other's holds.

This time, with a mutual promise of a forever.

F I N.

Oukay so this happened. I kinda posted it. Shh, I need to breathe.

Thank you so much for reading, if you've made it this far. I hope I haven't damaged too many of your braincells.

Thank you @gaeipsstuff for naming Ethan's book. I would have never, seriously! Thanks for proofreading and giving a detailed analysis, it came extremely handy during the my edit sessions. Thank you @adiehardfan, @jeetushmannfeelz, you know if it wasn't for the both of you, this wouldn't be up on my Tumblr.

This is my first proper OH fic, with an actual story and shenanigans, so I've been super apprehensive about this. Hence, it would mean a real lot to me if you could tell me how you found it. Stay safe, do what you love, stan pixelated characters, and take hugs. Peace✌.

Tagging: @adiehardfan @irisofpurple @barbean

Others kindly let me know if you wanna be tagged!

[onewfantaesy]

Yes! Give me all of the old goodies! I want the good, the bad, and the cringe.

u asked for it!!! it’s terrible and horrible but if literally anyone wants me to go more into it i’d be so down to just starting writing shit for it. i’m straight up just gonna copy and paste it from the message i sent like literally 4 years ago also it’s long as hell so it’s almost all going under a readmore there were no line breaks i had to go put in every line break omfg

okay so this is both a bandfic sort of idea but it's also a high school sort of idea so just bear with me pls 

 so like,,,u know how taemin and kai went to the same arts high school??? what if,,,,and this is a big fun fanficy what if 

 but what if okay so taemin and kai are in one class yes because same school year if i remember correctly, then sehun and krystal are in the year below them i'm like pretty sure so they're also both in the same class just for fics sake lmao 

and like,,,they're all just doing their school thing, and taemin and jongin sit sort of next to each other in their class, and by that i mean taemin sits in like the 3rd row by the window and jongin sits in the seat directly behind him so taemin's always turned around during breaks talking with him and playing like rock paper scissors and all that bullshit 

 and okay so lets just saaaaaay there was like an new reality-ish show, like that one show where taemin went to high school again with all those other idols and it was at an arts school, but like this show is for older idols to do other jobs and lmao this is why i don't wanna put it on tumblr or anything because it's so fanficy it's gross but it's so fun to imagine in my head and i wanna just headcanon it with someone who also likes the idea 

 but like so jaejoong ends up being taemin and kai's teacher for like a week or 2 for this show, and then fuck idk Rain is the teacher for sehun and krystal's class and when taemin finds out he's SO JEALOUS 

 "WHAT THE FUCK NO I LOVE HIM MAKE HIM SWITCH TO OUR CLASS" 

"and get stuck with jaejoong, fat fucking chance lee taemin go dance to rising sun or some bullshit why don't you" 

 and also just because why not add more fanficy shit with something that's already so ridiculously fanficy and let's say taemin used to be fairly close with jaejoong before the whole ~lawsuit~ thing happened, and he used to maybe see him and the other dbsk members like once a week because he was close with them and they helped him with dancing, singing, etc whatever cute bonding shit

 and then one day taemin went to go see them and jyj were just gone and taemin was so confused and changmin was upset and yunho was upset but just like "they left the band taemin they're gonna leave the company" and taemin's this lil freshly debuted kid and he just "but they didn't say goodbye?????" 

 and taemin's been so upset with jaejoong since that day because like he feels very hurt about them just leaving and not saying goodbye to him 

 so when jaejoong shows up as his teacher that morning, everyone in their class thought it was just a normal day, and there were cameras in the classroom but they also just assumed that it was something taemin or jongin related because idols in their class and all that so taemin's just turned around playing rock paper scissors with kai, and then the door opens and it's another camera and then a man walking in but it's right after the bell and no one's really looking so they just assume it's their teacher so everyone just "goodmorning teacher" in monotone voices because they have to, and jongin pushes taemin forward so he's facing forward and everyone just 

 "what's going on" 

"taemin what is this!" 

"jongin!! is this a new reality show??" 

 and taekai are just what the fuck because jaejoong is standing at the front of their class and that's definitely not their teacher where the hell is Mrs. Kim 

 and jaejoong explains that it's a new reality show, and he'll be their teacher for the next week or so, and everyone is kind of excited except for taemin and jongin who are like well SHIT because once their company gets a load of this, they're gonna be in a load of shit 

 and jongin just leans forward and whispers in taemin's ear "this is a load of barnacles" like that guy from spongebob, and taemin absolutely SNORTS so of course everyone and the cameras and jaejoong turn to him, and jongin immediately falls back into his seat and taemin tries to put on a straight face and jaejoong just 

 "taemin, jongin, is there something you'd like to share with the class?" 

 "no, nothing," taemin says, sending a very annoyed smile at jaejoong. 

 and then when jaejoong isn't looking (but a camera is still pointed at them), jongin leans back forward and just "we're good noodles" and taemin fucking SNORTS SO LOUDLY and slaps jongin away from him and jaejoong just 

"taemin. stay after class, won't you?" 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH”

 everyone immediately just is like lmao u know how high school students are when someone gets in trouble lmao and taemin just huffs, and when jaejoong turns back around, taemin turns quickly to hit jongin on the shoulder and turn back around before jaejoong can see it 

 and like, taemin and jongin quickly become so annoyed with all the cameras, and like they're honestly just trying to do their work at one point and taemin is slumped over his desk trying to do the work with the person who sits next to him, and he just turns to the cameraman and just 

 "can u get that thing out of my face pls i'm not a cast member on this show"

 "but you're in the class!!!" 

 "i'm not the only one in this class!!" 

taemin is so exasperated like man i'm trying to learn i didn't sign up for this shit and then during a break someone like

 "oh u know those things we sign at the beginning of the year that say we can be on media and shit for the school?? this must file under that, we must be one of the classes where everyone's guardians signed yes" 

 and then at lunch, taemin and jongin go see if sehun and krystal have this same problem and they just walk up to the classroom because it's lunch time and usually the teachers all leave right away and taemin just pushes the door open so dramatically like

 "sehunnie!! you'll never believe who our teacher is this week holy shit!!" 

 and he just runs smack into Rain and just

 "oh my god" 

looks up at him with these wide ass eyes and he's having such a fanboy moment he loves rain so much omg and jongin has to like hold onto him to hold him up because rain just 

"oh, shinee. big fan" 

and walks away and taemin practically fucking FAINTS

 "BIG FAN!! HE SAID HE'S A BIG FAN!! OF ME!!!!" 

 "he said shinee u dipshit"

 "I AM SHINEE!!! I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF!!" 

 "who's your teacher though don't leave us hanging" 

 and the other three come over and taemin immediately sobers up and just "ugh that fuckhead jaejoong i can't fucking believe this you know who's gonna get in toruble for it?? US. un-fucking-believable" 

 "you know, you never had a mouth like that when i knew you. also, if i recall correctly, i asked you to stay after class" 

 and taemin turns and sees jaejoong and a camera and he just "shit" because dammit he hopes he didn't get caught cursing on camera and now he's gotta have some fake heart-to-heart with jaejoong and he's none too pleased and jaejoong pulls him aside but there's still a cameraman following them and taemin is so uncomfortable and just

 "please i'm serious get that thing out of my face" 

 "taemin it's just for a couple minutes." 

 "what do you want?"

 taemin is just so upset and like he's so on edge because at school he can be somewhat normal but no now he's got an idol teacher and cameras following him around and dammit he just wants to go eat his lunch 

 "i wanted to talk to you about what happened when i left"

 "no, sorry, i'm not doing this" 

taemin just cuts him off and walks away, but jaejoong follows him and just 

 "why not"

 "because!! that's a personal thing, and if you're only gonna talk about it because you're being filmed, then you really don't care at all and i don't wanna hear it. now can i go eat my lunch please, i'm hungry" 

 and jaejoong just sighs and looks at taemin, and taemin's just this sad kid right now looking at him with these big eyes and he looks so upset and jaejoong just 

"okay. go. but no more disturbing the class, got it?" 

 "that wasn't even my fault" taemin grumbles "jongin was the one saying shit not me" 

 "don't let it happen again" jaejoong warns him, but taemin just walks off and goes to look for his lil friends. 

 also!!! kwonho is his friend from school right?? that's the guy taemin sits next to in class lmao i just remembered that, and kwonho is part of their lil group and!!! probably also moonkyu!!! moonkyu can sit next to jongin lmao so that's like the general gist of it i'm sorry this is so long lmao but i've had this idea in my head for probably a year now and it flows a lot better in my head than in writing but yeah i just!!! really wanna talk about it

and also another part of this au deals with a manager and is like mm three or so days into jaejoong being their teacher and maybe fuck idk kang hodong is a lil first year class teacher who taekai barely realize is there until they hear him crashing down the hall on day 2 and everyone in the classrooms goes up against the windows to look outside and see what's going on only to find kang hodong leading a bunch of firsties down the hallway as some form of prank or lesson or no one really knows what's happening, but everyone wishes hodong was their teacher after that 

 and anyways a manager comes one day to pick taemin up for a schedule and taemin completely forgot about it so he's absorbed in the lesson that jaejoong is teaching, and so the manager has to go straight up to the classroom to collect taemin because he forgot to go down to the office to get picked up and the manager just knocks once and opens the door and just

"taemin, come on" because this happens rather often but then he sees who's teaching 

 and taemin "shit" and gathers up his things really quickly and just tries to get out of there without some sort of weird fight thing happening and just "sorry hyung sorry sorry i'm coming!!"

 "what is going on" 

 "what?" 

 "why is HE in your classroom?? and cameras???" 

 "we're on a show hyung can we go please i'm gonna be late" 

 taemin's just got his backpack slung over his shoulder and he's so anxious to just leave because oh no this is the angry manager and he's getting that angry look and oh no "get in the hall"

 and he just grips taemin's arm and shoves him outside and FUCK it kind of hurts and fuck everyone saw and the cameras saw and just fuck 

 "jongin, get out"

 "what, i don't have a schedule today!" jongin is seriously like annoyed like no today is a day off until like 6 pm fuck that "jongin, NOW" and jongin is so freaked out and he just "sorry okay i'm coming" 

and he gets his things and he's hurrying outside and he just "how long has this been goig on??" 

 "what??" 

 "how long have you two been on a show without telling anyone!!" he's getting so angry and taekai are so freaked out holy shit they didn't think it was that big of a deal

 "hey, do you have permission to take jongin out of class?" jaejoong is like worried like is this even legal 

 "you stay out of this" the manager Does Not like jaejoong. not one bit. and the manager like gets so angry and he's yelling at taekai in the hall and another teacher hears it and peaks out to see what's going on and he like grills them for not telling anyone that they were on a show and that jaejoong was their teacher and blahblah 

and he asks if sehun and krystal have been ont he show too and they both just "yeah" and he makes them go get them and so they hurry down the hall to their classroom and knock on the door and they're so nervous when rain looks at them like 

"excuse me what the fuck you're interrupting my lesson" 

 and taemin just "um, we have to, um, a manager is here and, we sort of, have to have sehun and krystal come with us right now, now, like right now"

 and he's so obviously extremely nervous and the other two immediately know which manager it is just by how nervous taemin is and they start packing their shit up and they all hear the manager yelling for them to hurry up, and rain just "you two stay in here. everyone stay in here, you two come with me, you're going back to class" 

 and taemin just pipes up as rain puts his arm around the two of them to guide them back to class and he just 

 "i actually have a schedule right now i'm actually supposed to be leaving" 

 "then kai will go back to class and you can call another manager"

 "um actually, rain, sir, i go by jongin when i'm at school"

 "then jongin will go back to class, and taemin can call another manager to come pick him up" 

 "yes sir, rain, sir, okay, yes" 

 and by now jaejoong and the manager are outside of the classroom arguing, and a cameraman is out recording the whole thing and then rain joins in like

"hey can we just let this one go back to class and let the other go to his schedule why do we have to fight and get the children involved"

 and then the bell rings but it never fucking stops and after a moment of confusion, taemin and jongin just look at each other like 

"holy shit holy SHIT is this real holy shit HOLY SHIT"

 and all the classroom doors close and lock and the blinds on the windows get shut and jaejoong, rain, the manager, and the cameraman have no idea what's going on but taemin and kai run up to their classroom and start banging on the door and just 

 "HEY LET US IN LET US IN OMG OPEN THE DOOR" 

 but their classroom president just "sorry we can't open the door for anyone until the lockdown bell rings again or until the principal says over the intercom that lockdown is over" 

 "hey kids what's going on??" rain is so confused and the camera is going between the boys and the adults

 and taemin just "WAS THERE A LOCKDOWN DRILL TODAY" 

"what??"

 "YOU'RE THE TEACHERS OMG WAS THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A LOCKDOWN DRILL TODAY YES OR NO"

 "i don't know???"

 "OH MY GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE USELESS"

 taekai are just freaking out holy shit because if they're on lockdown that's like serious they never go on lockdown unless it's a drill and they go back to banging on the door begging for their classmates to let them back in but their classroom president keeps saying no despite the fact that many other people are saying they should let them in 

 and taemin just "JAEHYUN YOU PANSY SON OF A BITCH OPEN THE DOOR" 

 "WHY DON'T YOU GO HIDE IN THE BATHROOM, IDOL" 

taemin just "THIS IS WHY I VOTED FOR [insert girl's name here] INSTEAD OF YOU" 

 and the girl just "wait taemin you really voted for me???" 

 "yeah you're WAY BETTER THAN THIS PANSY PIECE OF SHIT" 

 "WHY DON'T YOU TELL THAT TO THE BATHROOM YOU'RE GONNA GO HIDE IN"

“WHO DIED AND MADE YOU KING?”

"IM IN CHARGE WHEN THE TEACHER IS ABSENT"

 "YPU ONLY WON FROM LIKE 3 VOTES NO ONE LIKES YPU" 

 and taemin and kai just scream a little bit out of frustration before kicking the door one last time but when they realize that the supposed adults in charge aren't doing anything they just 

 "fuck this we're hiding in the bathroom until this is over have fun ARGUING IN THE HALLWAY"

 and they run down the hall to go hide in the bathroom and lock the door and then over the intercom the principal just 

 "there is a man trying to take our student idols without authorization. the proper law enforcement officers have been notified, but do not let any of your student idols go with a man who says he is here to pick them up. this is not a drill. teachers, lock your doors, and keep your students away from the windows." blahblahblah 

 and taemin and kai are int he bathroom just laughing out of both frustration and a little bit out of disbelief that the school is actually calling the cops on their manager and then someone in shinee calls taemin, probably key, and taemin ends up facetiming with them and the other four see that taemin and kai are int he bathroom at school and just 

 "what the hell taemin you're so late for this recording where are you???" 

 "so long story short, manager hyung got the whole school put on lockdown and me and jongin had to hide in the bathroom because our stupid pansy fuck of a class president wouldn't open the door for us to go back inside of our class"

 "what the hell are you talking about" 

 so taemin and jongin explain the whole reality show thing with jaejoong being their teacher for a week and jinki probably just 

"you're saying jaejoong was your teacher all week and you didn't tell anyone" 

"basically yeah and then the manager u fucks sent to pick me up BLEW UP AT US and it was not pretty can you please tell the NOT ASSHOLE MANAGER that i'm going to be late because THE ASSHOLE MANAGER is probably in the process of being arrested ~~thank you~~ COME GET ME. I'M LITERALLY LOCKED IN A BATHROOM. THIS IS NOT FUN."

 and idk other people they were supposed to be on the show with that are just lingering about are giggling at the misfortunes of the young idols and lmao idk the asshole manager probably gets fired literally all our lil high school idols babies get in trouble for not telling anyone they were being filmed at school for a tv show and taemin makes up with jaejoong yay happy ending i just wanna talk about this so bad 

Tbh I mostly just enjoy the image of taemin and Kai being followed by a cameraman as they run through the halls in their school uniforms to the bathroom because their asshole class president won't let them in because of a technicality and just shouting "This is BULLSHIT" and scrambling to lock the door to the second floor boys bathroom

Also just taekai and their two other friends goofing off before class and forgetting a camera is there and they're talking about a new movie or something and taemin just

 "IT! WAS! SO! KICK! ASS" and alternating between fists to punch the air in front of him and they all like re-enact scenes they liked or whatever 

 And they're just being dumb boys u know and then the teacher and jaejoong come in and they all immediately scramble to sit down in their seats and just It's a really funny contrast to what they act like as Exo/shinee u know

And then Kai just "wait when did you go see that movie??" 

 "I went with kwonho on Sunday" 

 "WHY WASNT I INVITED??" 

 And moonkyu just "OR ME??" 

 "I'm sorry but you knew going into this 4-person relationship that I would have to split my time up between the three of you" 

 "Taemin fuck off" 

 Taemin is just unphased and continues "and that sometimes one might get more attention than the other" 

 "You are the worst" 

 "Thank you I'm taking that as a compliment" 

 And just uwu the four of them being smart asses together

And taemin just shakes his head and closes his eyes and shrugs like "I am a busy busy man" 

 And Kai just scoffs like "hey busy man, did you finish the math homework?" 

And he waves around the paper that has half of his homework done 

 And taemin just Pauses 

 "I am a busy busy man who forgot there was math homework" 

 And he leaps forward and takes a piece of paper of moonkyu and a pencil and just "lemme see lemme see lemme see!!" 

Because they have math first and fuck he totally forgot and there's only 5 minutes before class starts 

 And moonkyu lets them copy his homework and then the class president comes over and just "Excuse me IDOLS are you CHEATING?" 

 And taemin just makes a face at him and goes back to it, but before anyone can really say anything about, another classmate comes over and just "Oh shove off asshole, you copied my history homework at lunch yesterday" 

 And everyone just snorts, and he goes shuffling off to his desk 

Everyone hates the class president because right after he won he became a dick about it and everyone regretted voting for him 

 And the girl who ran against him just "I told you to vote for me" 

 And taemin turns to his friends and just "I told you to vote for her" 

 "Taemin shut up"

 "Never trust a man who only wears glasses in class!!!" 

 Kwonho just Shoves taemin closer to the window