#It's about time someone said it
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do you even remember the lives that you threw away like trash
continuation of this
#stay down here and watch garbage like you burn#its all youre good for!#transformers one#transformers#elita one#tf one darkwing#maccadam#i just wanted to draw elita beating someone up LOOL#do i tag bumblebee#this comic is like#about him#but he isnt actually here#errm#hc that darkwing was the one who threw bee down there#i know some people have said that sentinel did it but i really dont think hes waste his time on him#im guessing darkwing threw bee down there like he did to orion and dee#and bee REALLY takes it seriously#oh watching garbage burn is my job then#i dont think darkwing would remember him#it was so long ago too
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sure, "I'm part of this marginalized group that I'm writing about" isn't a get out of jail free card for all bigotry, but if someone says "I'm portraying an exact experience I've had, this literally happened to me" and your response is "okayyy but think of the optics of showing that that happens? maybe keep that to yourself?" it might be time to reconsider your approach.
#thinking about a time I saw someone tell an artist of color that they clearly didn't look at enough reference images of their own ethnicity#what. they said that this character's look is semi based on their own appearance. What.#marina marvels at life
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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading
#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot#i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself#just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal#my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos#but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time#portal#chell#GlaDOS#GlaD0S#my art#og post#1k#5k#10k#20k#30k#yuri#shipping#edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place#and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing#i didn't think it would gain much attention#i was Wrong#anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline#EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going “oh this is JUST an ISAT reference”#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#“op you played isat” yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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FORGETTABLE-AU (page 82-85)
THAT LAZYBONES!!
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#So sorry it took me almost 2 weeks to post these#I was busy irl but ALSO I had too much fun doing extra art and forgot to work on these for like 3 days lmao#NOW THIS TIME I DO HAVE SOME THING TO SAY#YAY RIVERPERSON! SO MANY PEOPLE GUESSED CORRECTLY!#It wasn't that hard#We know Papyrus knows the river person#are they friends? idk BUT I PERSONALLY THINK THEY ARE#I just LOVEEE looking at the dialogue and making connections#I referenced one of the lines from the river person here...sometimes they'll ask you if you know any game you can play with a dog...#They said they were “asking for a friend...”#And I couldn't help but think about Papyrus' problem with the annoying dog LMAO#+ Papyrus seems very excited to know if the river person is there when you call him nearby that area#Okay so... now ...some comic thing that I made up but also didn't...#“FLOWEY DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE RIVER PERSON IS?”#okay so...#I feel like#It's not very common for them to be there...#When talking with Undyne around that area it's kind of *unclear* if she knows about the river person being there....#She tells you about the river connecting different areas and that you should “jump in”#She then clarifies that's the only thing they got for public transport#AND LIKE? It's unclear if she's telling you to jump in the boat (OR IF SHE KNOWS THERE'S SOMEONE WITH A BOAT) or is she's literally telling#you to jump in the river?????#Anyways...so...that's that#HEHE Flowey and Papyrus finally arrived at the house! WOHOO#Sans is too lazy to bring his old stuff to the surface! (or does he still think he'll end up back in the underground eventually?)#undertale#undertale comic#forgettable-au-comic#papyrus#flowey
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Social anxiety level: Chatting with someone experiencing a schizophrenic episode and becoming increasingly self-concious of how I'm just saying "That sounds really stressful", "I've never heard of that but it sounds scary", and "You must be pretty worried about that" over and over again
#They needed someone to wait with them while their friend came to pick them up#And the whole time I was waiting for them to call bullshit#Like YOU HAVENT SAID ANYTHING MEANINGFUL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS#I'm sorry I'm making this one about me ma'am I'm just terrified that everyone I talk to is gonna give be a bad grade#I don't understand or beleive most of what you're saying but from the legit science you're quoting I can tell you've done some research#The research stuff I appreciate we can totally talk about that#Please God let me talk about Chordata or HTML instead of the thing I can't see or hear wouthout encouraging your delusion#I'd get SUCH a good grade at discussing invertebrates with you
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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Heh...Literally nothing personal, kid.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#sect leader yao#This episode has a lot of scenes I know people are excited for and starting here seems odd but here me out:#The sheer hilarity of this opening scene was too good to not give a highlight to.#Dare I say it? I think this is THE most underrated scene in the whole series.#You have one guy flashing WWX his prosthetic leg. Another complains about his dead parents.#And the third guy? He has no personal grievances at all. He's just here to be included.#You cannot get better comedic timing than that. Sect leader Yao you will always be famous to me.#There is also something to be said about how this scene is about shifting blame and holding a false trial.#And we also have the main theme about rumours vs truth in how Sect leader Yao is only here based on what he's been told to beleive.#And WWX is so exhausted by the blame! He was one breath away from saying 'form a queue and I'll take your complaints one by one'#WWX (overall) didn't do those things directly but he's the one the responsibility falls on.#Despite the fact that the first siege was *not* incited by him. It's like hitting someone and getting mad your fist got hurt.#What a brilliantly frustrating scene!#Anyways next up are the long awaited pheonix mountain flashabck scenes. We finally made it.#and AHH Season 3!!! The last stretch! Thank you all for rooting me on up until this point!
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If you're only commenting on a fic to ask for an update or worse, to be passive-aggressive about wanting an update, then please do both yourself and the writer a favor and don't comment at all.
Saying things like "Can't wait for the next update!" as part of a comment about how you enjoyed the chapter is one thing, but just going into the comments and being like "Where's the update?" or "You haven't finished writing the next chapter yet?" or something similar is not only rude, but also I ASSURE you it only serves to make the writer anxious about writing at all.
Fic writers are not content creators. We're not robots. We're real people with careers, families, and other irl responsibilities. Writing is something I do in my thirty minutes before I go to bed to wind down from the day. Whatever I want to write that evening is what ends up getting written.
So by making me anxious and putting pressure on me to update a fic, especially in that passive-aggressive way that so many people do, all you've ensured is that when I open up my folder that evening to see what I feel like writing, my eyes will completely skip over that WIP that I got the rude comment on that day because I Feel Bad about it and now I don't want to even look at it.
So please, just follow the golden rule of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
#i have a few fics that every few months get a comment like this#it really just sets me off from even attempting to go back to them#actually rn I have them yeeted in a different folder because I just get so anxious just looking at their titles#I honestly am close to straight up deleting one of them off ao3#because every other time I get a notif that someone commented on it#all the comment is is some passive aggressive BS about wanting an update#it makes me just...not want to read any comments on that fic#i really dont mind people gently nudging updates on fics that i'm actively updating#because like i said i have a life outside of this#and sometimes i genuinely don't realize that it's been 5 months since a fic has been updated#but like just don't be passive aggressive about it#fanfiction#ao3#danny phantom#yes im tagging the phandom i write for because apparently some of u need to read this
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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Also have another “first words spoken to you are on your skin” soulmate AU idea where Kara is a journalist assigned to shadow the controversial CEO of L-Corp for the day. It’s a big deal for her to get this assignment, so of course she trips the second she’s near the other woman and tries awkwardly to redeem herself.
The CEO stares at her almost in shock, and then says nothing. At all. Ever, for the entire day.
Kara spends hours following Lena Luthor around trying to fill the silence, but no amount of questions get her to talk. Lena almost seems to be running away at some points - like she’s trying to lose her? - and the few times she’s managed to catch her actually talking to someone she goes silent the second she sees Kara.
She asks around if Miss Luthor is usually like this and everyone looks at her like she’s crazy. Apparently she’s the only one who gets the silent treatment. By the end of her first day shadowing she’s walking away with half a page of observations and not a single quote. Miss Grant is going to kill her.
But that’s okay. It’s fine, this isn’t over. She has four days of shadowing ahead of her and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t finish this with a quote from the woman herself. It’s only a matter of time.
#what if you were an over stressed billionaire who feels like your existence must be a constant apology for the sins of your family#and you’re about to be followed around and studied by some no named baby reporter sent from a fashion magazine#you’re battling the migraine of a century you have five crises to settle all at once and also that baby reporter just said your words#the ones you’ve carried for the last decade - the ones you’ve feared and hoped for ever since#and it’s wonderful probably - this is what people dream of - but the problem is you just don’t have time for this#you can’t have your big soulmate moment#not right now. definitely not with this reporter. it’s not the right time#so I guess those words will just have to wait until it is time#if you can someone manage to resist. it’ll be hard#she does seem like someone it’d be really easy to talk to after all#good luck to you both#soulmate AU#Supercorp#fun shenanigan that I shan’t be writing#mine
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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hey brennan what the fuck
#the emotional whiplash of this episode was genuinely insane i think i was about to burst into tears at some point and then they cut to the#fucking commercial. vic michaelis and brennan lee mulligan i ADORE you brennan you did not have to go as hard as you did on this one#this felt like a literal fever dream#like i don't even know if i fully understand it rn the last bit w vic and the radio was a bit open to interpretation#ALL of it felt open to interpretation but like. in an insane way#someone suggested host vic has dreams of/hallucinates these guests to escape from the mundanity of her real job and they try to teach smth#i dont like the dream trope but that would be v interesting#someone also said they were in a time loop which would be. intriguing#anyways i will miss this show so much someone said it was greenlit for s2 too so i'm crossing my fingers thats legit#vip spoilers#very important people spoilers#very important people#dropout#vic michaelis#brennan lee mulligan#vip
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Hmmm just gonna spit this headcanon out in text post form since A. I don't think I could exposit it well enough in image form and B. It's not actually textually/thematically substantiated and I don't like actually staking my stuff on just vibes alone*
But anyway. I'd say it's pretty evident that all the islanders forgot their names, right? King obviously. Because why the hell else would he do that, but also Siffrin No Middle Names No Last Name.
They're 'pretty sure' they've 'always' been 'Just Siffrin' 'as long as they can remember'. It's a pretty cruel twist of the knife to say that they don't even get to keep their birth name as a memento, which is why I'm saying as such.
My utterly unsubstantiated claim is I think it'd be cute to say that Sisyphus *is* the name Siffrin initially picked, assuming the myth of King Sisyphus is recontextualised as idk, just a play or something in the setting. But I like the idea of Siffrin going 'oh shit 🫵 he's just like me fr' at a tortured fictional character long before the irony kicks in.
As for how Sisyphus -> Siffrin. I think that chronic mumbler and emotional doormat Sif just did not correct people who misheard the name during their time travelling, and went through enough places with incompatible phonologies (pronounceable sounds in the language) without ever really writing it down that it just got kinda. Changed until it was unrecognisable, and Siffrin just went with it until the earlier pronunciations slipped out of their swiss-cheese brain. And they just kinda don't remember any of that.
Also, something something the horrid realisation that Siffrin also named themselves after a King. Just not as blatantly.
*(though I think there's something here about Siffrin, a guy from a belief system that seems to thoroughly disincentivise autonomy and self-motivated choice continuously having their hand forced to make changes/choices they don't want but have no choice but to... It's not solid enough to really back this up tbh, but it informs it.)
Anyway.
#theres also something one of my french-speaker friends said about siffrin's official pronounciation being the feminine way to pronounce -in?#which i dont know enough about to really corroborate and theyre busyyyy and havent started the game yet so i cant really ask#im sure someone else has already voiced this easy-to-come-up-with headcanon anyway but just in case nobody has i decided to post it#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat loop#i also personally picture sif (and loop especially) being more hostile to the concept of changing themselves after The Encounter#both of them being big grudge-holders and that 'want' to control your own destiny being clearly against how they interpret the universe#as for whether they should be so hostile? probably not! but they appear to be anxious in fear of some kind of divine retribution should#they like. ever even dare to Want. and uh. well. that certainly went well for Loop. not sure they'd be gung-ho to do it again#so Loop being able to go 'oh well it wasn't my REAL name' as a salve for having to make a new identity AGAIN....#while sif is explicitly clinging to it as an anchor for Who They Are If Nothing Else.. they can upset each other and also mirabelle i think#lucabytetalks
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Time travel fail in which Stan goes back to not break Ford's project, but gets bored waiting for the science fair and decides he might as well give the footbot another try.
He's no McGucket but he knows enough technical mumbo jumbo to make it move at least. If it goes well maybe they let him graduate high school this time around!
Enter the West Coast Tech judges
Genius kid doing genius kid things?
BORING
Worst student the school has ever seen building a fully functional talking robot? The stereotypical dumb boxer kid always overshadowed by his nerdy brother being a secret neglected undiscovered genius?
THEY CAN SELL THIS! THEIR PR DEPARTMENT WILL LOVE THIS! A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY!
Before Stan has time to process anything he’s already being shipped off California with a full scholarship to be West Coast Tech's new poster child.
Filbrick: I don’t care how you convinced them you’re worth anything. Don’t fuck this up and earn us millions or you’re not welcome in this house anymore!
Ford is convinced Stan cheated his way into West Coast Tech so they won't get seperated. Ford doesn’t apply to West Coast Tech out of spite. And he's definitely not believing Stan's ridiculous time travel explanation for a second.
Ford becomes obsessed with proving that Stan’s a fraud instead.
At least they’re still talking. Even if talking means listening to Ford finding flaws in the newest paper Stan was forced to write.
Poor Stan just wants to go home to Gravity Falls and reopen the Mystery Shack
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#stan failing his college courses? oh no our star student is bored! he needs something more challenging!#Ford losing his mind everytime someone recognised him west coast techs genius Stan pines#you know from tv. what is he doing here at backupsmore??#but also ford eventually forgetting about trying to proof that stan is a fraud and genuinely enjoys their discussions#even if stan refuses to use the correct science terms and keeps claiming to be time traveler#stan finally graduatig and moving to gravity falls#arriving there the same time as ford did#the mystery shack already standing there for them and waiting#the locals claiming it just turned up one day#ford-speechless for a minute before excitement takes over and he pulls out his journal#SO#time travel you said?
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