#It’s cos I’m liking so many aro posts

[billionsofrats]

2500 likes!

it’s my aro ally milestone now

🐦‍⬛🐺🐁🍀🌲

[angieblogging]

yelena belova is aroace.

Yelena Belova is canonically aroace.

Lately people dismissing that has been getting on my nerves VERY much, so I’m making this post lol.

First the terminology:

Aromantic — an individual who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.

Asexual — an individual that doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

AroSpec — spectrum that includes different aromantic identities, from aros who don’t feel romantic attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

AceSpec — spectrum that includes different asexual identities, from aces who don’t feel sexual attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

*note that some aroace’s choose to use only asexual to define their sexual orientation. not both are and ace, kinda like bisexuals don’t say biromanic, bisexual, just bisexual.*

So first thing i will put here is this;

This in my humble opinion should be enough of a proof, but apparently it is not.

First this part of an interview, the person speaking is a creator/co-creator of Yelena. She says she is most likely to identify as asexual than to follow Nat’s romantic path. Hinting at both aro & ace.

So in the comics Yelena shows no interest dating, as far as i am aware she has no romantic interest in the comics. She is repulsed by sex, she calls herself „nothing” referring to her sexual identity.

As much as many like to say she is a lesbian, she is not, how fucking stupid you sound, honestly. She says it herself, if I said I’m not a lesbian, would you question it? No? Then don’t question her, she says she is not a lesbian, she has no wlw storyline. Drop the fucking lesbian hc.

Some possible foreshadowing in the MCU

1. When she is talking with a widow and a former Ana (show: Hawkeye), there is a line said by the widow accompanying her: „…you and Natasha can be reunited again and live your sex in the city fantasy”.

^ Yelena leaves the room, as soon as the word „sex” is mentioned her face drops, then we have this scene where she’s looking at herself in the mirror.

2. When talking about kids and family (movie: Black Widow) she mentions she wants a dog.

3. When describing „fake story” of her life she made up because her birth certificate was burnt she says Natasha has a husband and talks about her parents, but mentions nothing about her husband or possible spouses or children. (movie: Black Widow)

4. Yelena tends to wear a lot of aro/ace flag colors.

green coat & purple lipstick (green = aro | purple = ace)

yellow & blue colors = aroace flag

Overall Yelena wears a lot of green and white and black together, aromantic flag colors.

^^ can you call that „over the top?” yeah sure… let me remind yall something else:

when enid wore this sweather yall went WILD.

but when Yelena is wearing aroace colors all the time it’s called „reaching”…?

I will continue this with even more, because while you can agree with me and say she is aroace, still there will be people who claim she is aroace, agree, but then this fucking argument comes into place:

„AROS CAN DATE”

„ACES CAN FUCK”

„QPRS EXIST”

Do you see what’s wrong with those sentences? Nothing.

There’s a „but” thoooo…

There is nothing wrong with those, but using those arguments to totally ignore her sexuality ship her and treat her like suddenly she is allo is not it.

Yelena has shown no interest in dating or sex, we can assume she is sex-repulsed as she has shows repulsion to sex and she is to me at least implied to be romance-repulsed.

And we’ve found the problem.

Sex Repulsed Aces are as you can imagine repulsed by sex. Romance Repulsed Aros are repulsed by romance… So how is someone repulsed by said things engaging in said interaction and is not repulsed by them???

I think it’s a great idea to write her into said situations to show she is repulsed and to show it’s okay, because her life, my life, the lives of other uninterested in such thing aro/ace, our lives don’t end here.

Using how some people navigate through their sexuality to justify this is wrong.

You wouldn’t write a lesbian with a man, because bi lesbians exist and she may be a bi lesbian, right?

^ just an fyi, that’s an example, the term bi-lesbian is extremely harmful to both bisexuals and lesbians. check out this for more.

The QPR dilemma is that you don’t understand what a QPR is… it’s not more than friends…it’s not in the middle, it’s out of the regular binary of relationships. Relationships I actually think are QPRs:

Friends with benefits — purely platonic, but you fuck.

Situationship — just friends that do romantic stuff together, unless you call it a romantic relationship, with the other person agreeing on that, it is not one.

QPRs are amazing and beautiful, but it’s not always about fucking and kissing and „acting like a couple” but being a QPR. It can be being friends and living together, not temporary. It can be being friends and co-parenting. It can be many things.

But as I said Yelena is repulsed, why would someone repulsed by sex/romance engage in said thing happily with no doubts, fears, negative feelings just because it’s a qpr, so it’s suddenly fine…?

This is for now all I have to say about this.

As an AroAce, who desires no romantic relationship or a sexual one please please please let us have this representation, for once in our fucking lives.

MORE OF MY POSTS ON YELENA BEING AROACE AND ARO/ACE LINKS LINKED HERE:

asexual/aromantic yelena panels

even when a character is canonically/confirmed aroace there will still be allo romance and allo sex/smut written by them

answering an anon-ask.

more talk about the comic panel.

harmful aro stereotypes.

shipping aroaces + yelena belova.

rant on yelena being aro.

another rant about thunderbolts & yelena.

[ghostly-penumbra]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag, @summerssixecho!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Thirty-six as of now! Most of them are still from events (I put all the filled prompts in one work per event, don’t @ me), but when I really like one of these I post it as a stand-alone :) and I have a few fics outside events too! Woo!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

132,746 as of right now, but I’ll still finish Ectober so that’ll change quickly. (and as I said before, some fics I post "twice", in the event's work, and as a stand-alone)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Danny Phantom almost exclusively, the exception are the CrossOvers :p

I love The Sandman and Supernatural ones. I’m into DPxDC as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Seven Ways to Summon the Ghost King (1,187 kudos): Seven different ways in which a tired, stressed and sleep-deprived King of Ghosts can be summoned!

Results may vary.

Holiday Gift 2022 (439 kudos): ALL ghosts need to honour the truce. Including those who don't know they're considered part ghost.

Poison Blood and Weighted Crowns (408 kudos): The Justice League asked for help to the Ghost King.

The King demanded Jason Todd in exchange.

Jokingly, Robin accepted.

King Plasmius had the deal be honoured.

Ectober Week 2021 (365 kudos)

DannyMay 2021 (243 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments?

YUP. Sometimes I forget and only see it years later tho. But I do like answering comments so I try my best! If I don’t answer is ‘cause I can’t think of anything else to say but I still try! (I don’t really answer in FFN anymore tho, because I forget if I’ve already answered and I don’t remember how to check that, and I don’t want to accidentally answer twice lmao)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhh… not a big fan of angst, and even though I tried my hand at it in the past don’t remember where I put it anymore

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dragon :') Danny gets dental! (lol ok, I can’t really tell, idk)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My fics ain’t popular enough to get hate I believe lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

LOL. I WROTE LEMON ONCE. YEARS AND YEARS AGO (almost ten year now. I was fourteen). After that, I haven’t, but I have an idea for a fic and if I actually get to write it I know it would be explicit.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

asdfghjjklñ I fucking love CrossOvers so much. I’ve written some "niche" ones but I believe the craziest/crackiest was Doors :))

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

None that I know of. (Again, not popular enough lol)

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Other than ramble with the discord buddies, nope I haven’t.

13. What's your all-time favourite ship?

None tbh, I do like some ships but I’m aro and I don’t really have an OTP.

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Not much in the way of WIPs but I do have several plot bunnies I entertain before discarding.

On DPxDC I had a demon twin AU where Damian killed Danny as a kid with pressure from Ra’s al Ghul, and they met again after many years, with Damian as Robin and Danny as the Ghost King… and Danny didn’t forgive Damian. I had a lot planned and wanted to include a lot of worldbuilding, but ultimately I decided I couldn’t give Damian’s character justice as I was projecting heavily on my broken relationship with my abusive brother, and Damian deserved better than to be compared to my brother.

Also DPxDC, the aforementioned explicit work, which would be Danny/Valerie/Jason, with them dealing with being ecto-entities with the ecto-acts in place, Danny dealing with being King and trying to be an astronaut, Valerie coping with her feelings on her nature and her Wayne scholarship, and Jason being a crime lord with a family of vigilantes, and their broken yet existing relationships. As they navigated the complex ensuing dynamics, they dismantled the GIW and took down the Ecto-Acts.

I would also like to do more for Dragon, but I really don’t feel like it rn

16. What are your writing strengths?

Instrospection and mindscapes, if I can say so.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything that isn’t introspection and mindscapes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto :)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

aughdabdsufsda, I don’t really know, I love several of them for different reasons, but maybe Father and Sons? I love Clockwork and I love my Sandman crossovers, so I liked mixing both.

I’m not tagging anyone, but I encourage anyone to try! It was really fun!

[reconstructwriter]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions

Thank you @charmwasjess for tagging me, I feel so loved - spreading the love @panther-os, @s-c-g-s-c-g, @ankahikoibaat

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

Twenty four. Huh. I need to import more of my stuff from fanfiction.net

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

How do I find this out… ohh statistics sounds handy. 265k

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Currently Star Wars, I've also written for Order of the Stick, Percy Jackson, Final Fantasy 7 and Danny Phantom

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Underestimated, Standing Above the Blood, May the Force be Taxed, A Supreme Chancellor to Kill, A Phantom Christmas Carol.

5. Do you respond to comments? 

ohh yes, responding to comments is a reward, one I let myself have once I've gotten the next chapter of the story ready. This motivates me to get a chapter ready for posting faster!

but I usually write out my thoughts first in anticipation of getting to post them

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

So far: ‘Yet Each Man Kills the Thing He Loves’. A suicide fic starring a Sith Apprentice who has a Dooku-inspired Sith Master so its toxic relationships: the Fic. I went with non-romantic flower disease in this for extra toxicity plot and while the ending isn’t totally tragic because its implied (1) person lives that’s it.

However ‘Will the Wolf Survive’ may well outstrip it if I go with my knife-twister!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Probably Palpatine’s Jedi Holiday. It starts and ends with a holiday and Palpatine is exposed as a Sith in one of the more humiliating ways possible.

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Yes, the Anakin/Consequences fics I’ve written involving the Tusken Massacre have gotten a certain subset of fans whining about Anakin being characterized as a whiny asshole and/or defending his genocide of an entire tribe down to the babes in arms and their Space-puppies.

I’m salty about it but I’ve managed to hammer out a few chapters running purely on spite.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Eh, I’m ace/aro and on the indifferent/repulsed side of the spectrum so in the rare case when I’m writing romance that leads to sexytimes I tend to dance around the actual physical acts, generally going for M rated instead of E rated.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

I’ve read them more than written them but I love crossovers. My craziest published one is over on fanfiction.net: Dresden Files x Predator Series featuring the titular protagonist facing off against a Predator out to hunt down the mythical ‘human wizard’.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope, though that’s a Writer Goal ™

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Nope, though I might not mind later on.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? 

This is cruel making me pick just one. I tend to go for vibes on a ship more than specific pairings – foe-yay + hurt/comfort – so if the pairing fits the vibes I’m fine with just about any if at least one is a blorbo. Hypothetically Jaster Mereel/Ferus Olin pairing with those vibes would probably be my greatest wish. Rex/A’Sharad Hett and Jaster/Feemor are very close runners up.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

My strength is finishing posted WIPs. I’ve yet to post anything and later abandoning it (yet). However on the flip-side my hard drive is stuffed with WIPs from many a fandom where my interest has waned. They will likely never see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

Sheer determination. I can consistently word vomit thousands of words/a dozen pages of work every day (don't tell corporate) and usually have at least a finished rough draft of a story before I post. If not, come hell or high water I will finish my posted WIPs.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Focus. Often those thousands of words are on an unrelated project or ten. Also sometimes what I mean in writing is perfectly obvious to me but not to the reader, resulting in occasional misunderstandings.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I'm also gonna go with: does sign language count? I find it interesting and I read this post about this one show with lots of characters who sign and how their signing shows their characterization – I grabbed ahold of that idea and ran with it!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Justice League, Back in the olden days when the animated series was out and my biggest obsession and I hadn’t found fanfiction.net or ao3. Was ao3 around?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

of all time…that’s hard but narrowly May the Force be Taxed! I actually got to do the thing where I use my real-world work knowledge and experience for a realistic fanfic. I based the Galactic Republic Tax Law on US Tax Law, Palpatine’s move to change tax law in the middle of tax season is based on President Biden doing the same thing (though of course Palpatine’s decision was considerably more assholish for all parties involved), etc.

It was such fun to write and so relieving – since I wrote this during tax season I got to take out a lot of stress from irl clientele, co-workers and stupid politicians/bankers who really should know better and insert it in this fic. Qui Gon being a terrible record-keeper, Darth Sidious having not nearly enough clues about how taxes worked and the IRS auditors were definitely not my co-workers…

Plus I got to give Palpatine and the Sith in general a fitting fate in the form of a tax bill with nigh-unending zeros that they and anyone else in any way affiliated with the Sith is charged with. The Sith Order Dies because no one is willing to get near the Galaxy’s largest tax bill!

[felixschokehold]

I saw a theory that Sam killed Felix and I am at my breaking point over this frickin vision-

Edit: I do want to say, this battle scene is the best scene imo in the entire series and I love it, my problem is just what lies below lol

Before going into this, I wanna say that I understand this vision was not real in the books. The thing that bothers me is that so many people believe the vision’s results  would be real if a fight broke out between the Volturi and the Cullen coven and co. 

My first problem I will knock off this list is just a theory, as stated above, but to believe that Sam, a barely seasoned werewolf, could take out and destroy a millenia old vampire whose special skill is combat/fighting, is ridiculous. Now, of course I may be biased. But even before I was a Felix stan, I did not believe this was possible in any capacity. Most of the wolves are young and untrained and there is no way that they would have been able to take Felix down. 

My second source of irritation I want to make is Santiago and Demetri also being taken out so easily. In the movies they are not as tall/foreboding as Felix, but in the books they’re also quite large and have thousands of years of experience of executing and committing mass murder. 

I cannot say it is unfair to assume Jane and Alec would have died as their powers lie solely in psychic/mind attacks and they very likely have no fighting experience. They are also children. The only way I see them surviving is staying within range of Renata, whose power is to confuse any incoming attackers and she’s bound to Aro by Chelsea, so tightly that she’d die before seeing him die. 

There is no canon or not if Bella’s power would cancel out Renata’s, but since Bella is so special and a little OP, I could see it happening. In which case, yes, the twins would be rendered useless and would die without knowing how to physically fight. 

Caius’ death may be satisfactory as well, but he goes on so many execution and punishing trips that I find it hard to believe he could also be taken down easily. He has no special power, except his unusually deep love for cruelty.

Marcus? Well, yeah. I can see it happening just how it did in the movies, to be quite honest. He may be bound to Aro by Chelsea, but I think his suffering would outweigh that during a fight. 

Aro I feel like would have his own self-preservation kick in and attempt to end the fight before he or any of his special guards would die, or at least take too many losses.

Speaking of which, the amount of Volturi that are present vs the amount of Cullen and co. is quite large. I cannot believe, still, that the Volturi would bring so many inexperienced fighters and lose so badly. 

Although, in the end of the vision as Aro’s body sets on fire, you can see a huge amount of Volturi guards descending upon Bella, so perhaps the Cullen coven and co. would get defeated. They just somehow would bring down all the big guns with them. 

ANYWAYS, sorry for the long-ish post. I just do not see unseasoned fighters winning in any capacity like in the vision. The wolves are too inexperienced and most of the Volturi guard are far too old and experienced to have eaten absolute shit like that. 

I’m always up for discussion in chat, reblogs, or asks!! 

[rotten-zucchinis]

Call for submissions (zine): harm in non-normative relationships (deadline extended: Jan 2023)

There’s been some interest in a new issue of “Rotten Zucchinis zine” about harm non-normative relationships. So I’m extending the deadline to January 30, 2023 and inviting people to share the call for submissions!

Inviting submissions:

personal stories, reflections, poetry, art, etc. (i.e., basically anything other than fiction)

What do you mean by “non-normative relationship”?

Basically any personal or intimate relationship that is NOT romantic, NOT a “couple” (or a romantic/sexual triad), and not a “standard” friendship: a personal relationship that is somehow “outside the box” and not adequately or properly described by the term “friendship”– especially relationships for which there are no good specific labels. (The people involved do not have to be arospec and/or ace even though almost everyone who contributed to the first 2 issues was.)

These could include queerplatonic** (QP) relationship but they also might include relationships people don’t typically think about when we talk of “non-normative relationships”– for example, organising/comrade relationships insofar as they are personal relationships, chosen family, roommates in a community house, etc. They might include cross-generational relationships between adults that are not typical in a particular cultural context, or co-parenting situations of multiple parents who aren’t romantically or sexually involved, etc. Could even be relationship in the context of accountability work gone wrong... So many possibilities.

More info:

In terms of context, this might be helpful:

So many of us have been doing our important relationships without any road maps or “how-to” guides— these relationships aren’t romantic relationships, but they aren’t typical friendships either. And we’ve been fighting for years to get our friends, families and communities to take these relationships seriously. We finally have some language to talk about these “non-normative” relationships existing…

But we don’t have the tools to talk about when our “non-normative” relationships are unhealthy or go wrong. Often we don’t even have the space to admit that sometimes they do. Rotten Zucchinis is a zine about violence / abuse and harm and destructiveness in “non-normative” relationships. This relational territory is messy. Some forms of harm are about power and control and have a perpetrator wielding that power and control on another. Some forms of harm are not about power/control, and can be mutual (or going in more than 1 direction).

Some optional guiding questions:

What does harm or violence or abuse look like in non-normative relationships, and what are your stories? How did you make sense out of this? (and what is non-normative about the relationship in question?)

How do the problems we have in our non-normative relationships play out with other parts of our identities and lives?

How do things like power, oppression and social expectations matter?

When it comes to non-normative relationships, what do we still need to keep quiet about… and why?  

Please include a contributory bio 

Submissions / questions, etc.: rotten [dot] zucchinis [at] gmail [dot] com

_____________________________

** Note: The term queerplatonic was coined and adopted with particular intentions of expressing relationships that were not romantic but that otherwise could not be named (also along with the word “zucchini, hence the title of this zine).

Increasingly (and for a long time now), people have been reshaping the language of queerplatonic in practice, deploying it for (aro) assimilationist purposes, undermining its radical potential, etc. and categorically erasing its ace-specific roots. [In 2019, Coyote wrote a couple posts presenting “A Genealogy of queerplatonic” and discussing (and fact-checking) the political mess of false-history claims in the non-ace aro world, while attempting to make sense of their political context “QPR misinformation is not an appropriate avenue for aro advocacy”.]

In short, people have been using the word “queerplatonic” to mean a lot of things that don’t necessarily have a much to do with non-normative relationships.

I’m not going to get into an rant about neoliberalism here. I just wanted to note that indeed these days, language of QP relationships is often used to refer to relationships that are “just like most people’s partnerships except not romantic or not as romantic”. (That’s not the meaning of queerplatonic in which the “zucchini” in the title of this zine was grounded.)

This zine is about non-normative relationships, under any name. By “non-normative”, I mean by definition relationships which are NOT “just like most people’s partnerships”-- instead, they are basically *anything* else.

[vintage-bentley]

If David were giving "wait and see" style answers I'd have a bit more hope but he was talking to the Radio Times which is a reputable publication in the UK so I don't feel like he'd outright lie to them about the nature of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship.

To be honest, both he and Michael have been pretty clear on this being a ~secret background story~ or whatever, and have repeatedly said it's up for interpretation, and I'm worried everybody's doing another Johnlock where they ignore what the people involved are saying and have convinced themselves they're getting confirmation that will never come. The difference is this would be even WORSE because of the marketing campaign for season 2 and Neil's baity comments.

I honestly don't think Neil would be affected by this either because the second anybody expresses disappointment the asexuals in fandom are going to make it all about them and about how society ignores and invalidates their kind of love etc. I think he'll be successfully shielded. There will be pissed off people (especially olds like me who were book fans first and have lived through this shit a billion times) and I'm sure a huge part of the fandom will be quietly seething but we simply won't be allowed to call it bait because "Neil has always said it's a love story and therefore canon uwu" (even if it's plausibly deniable to homophobes and eludes the casual viewer 🙄).

I also think it's very telling that Neil only drew attention to the fake spoilers circulating when a post appeared saying the season was "500% gay" and that Az and Crowley had many romantic scenes. He has also said that while the marketing dept at Amazon clearly love the show he would've advised them to do things differently were he not on strike.

I know we've all been interpreting David and Michael's tight-lipped squirming when asked about a romantic subplot as an attempt not the give EVERYthing away, but it could also be that they know they're not going to deliver what the audience wants (including, apparently, every single interviewer on press day lol) so have been ordered not to say anything that sets themselves up.

IF all of this does turn out to be bait I am going to become a fic writer just to spite Neil lol. Trust I will be writing the smuttiest fic and finding the nastiest NSFW Ineffable Husbands art imaginable and it will be gay, gay, GAY 😂

I still HOPE we're getting what we want because I'm an optimistic fool. I'm just not sure it's guaranteed in the way the fandom thinks it is.

(btw if this doesn't go through anonymously please message me rather than publishing? Unfortunately I have co-workers and real life friends following me on my main 😬)

Sorry anon I couldn’t help but publish these together, it’s very funny to me 😂

Now, I know you’ve done a complete turnaround, but I do see where you were coming from with your first ask. It’s fun to imagine that the squirmy tight-lipped attitude is them doing their best not to spoil…but it’s sadly true that it could also be them feeling like they’re walking in a minefield, knowing that fans are anticipating something they didn’t deliver.

And I agree with you about fan reception to Neil. Like I’ve said before, spicy straights thinking they can call themselves “queer” has been absolutely disastrous to our ability to talk about queerbaiting. Because that term is really supposed to mean gaybaiting. It refers to the specific trend of shows teasing a gay relationship to get viewers hooked, but never taking it anywhere to ensure they don’t loose the viewership of homophobes. But now since everyone and their mother calls themselves “queer”, they seem to think the term queerbaiting applies to them, too. Which has led us to the point where people say “actually this show isn’t queerbaiting, because they don’t show physical affection which is aro/ace representation! Not everything has to be gay!” (In other words, “this show is gaybaiting but I’m happy about that so you can’t get upset about it”).

So, even if the show ends up being perfect textbook queerbait…we can’t say that, because of how the term has been appropriated. And we’ll have to deal with spicy straights whining about how they’re oppressed by gays wanting representation.

But as I’ve said before, I’m very optimistic about it not being bait! Let’s hope we’re right!

[camthesolemnone]

Everyone else is posting their merc sexual orientation/gender identity headcanons for Pride Month so I’ll give it a spin!

Scout: He saw himself as straight his whole life, but then he started having mixed feelings after joining Mann Co. He initially used homophobia as a defense mechanism, but nowadays Scout has accepted that he is Bisexual, even if he won’t readily admit it to the others.

Soldier: Soldier is transgender! That’s why he was rejected from every branch of the military, his name is Jane, and is why he acts the way he does. He has masculinity issues, so he makes it a point to be strong and commanding in front of his teammates to prove himself internally.

Pyro: I know some people aren’t going to like this, but Pyro is Non-Binary and Aro/Ace. I’m not infantilizing him, he simply would much rather take a lovely stroll through the candy park with his friends and burn people have a picnic as opposed to engaging in a relationship or sex. It just isn’t his thing.

Demoman: Demo is pansexual! This man loves everyone! I also headcanon that he--completely platonically of course--gives his teammates big smooches when they’re feeling down. He especially loves sharing physical affection with Soldier and Sniper.

Heavy: Heavy is a Gay Bear of course, but not many people know that he is also Demisexual. He highly values strong connections and will defend the people he truly loves with everything he has. He’s closeted, but only out of fear that revealing his sexuality will put his family in danger.

Engineer: The Engineer is Engiqueer. Another Gay fella here, and he’s loud and proud about it. Super respectful towards all of the other areas of LGBTQIA+ and is probably the most approachable guy on the team if you have any questions regarding finding out your own identity.

Medic: Plain and simple, this mad doctor is Gay. The male body is fascinating to him and he loves to explore it, both on his operation table and in the bed. He slept around with his other teammates for a while, but then he settled down with Heavy and has been content ever since.

Sniper and Spy are both Bisexual but fall on different ends of the spectrum. Sniper is male leaning and Asexual, and Spy is female leaning and is Aromantic. Spy is also additionally Gender Fluid. They’ve had their quarrels about which lifestyle is better, but they eventually dropped it in favor of agreeing, “Yeah, both men and women are pretty hot.”

[thewolfofthestars]

Very happy and excited to announce that I made a new picrew! This picrew will allow you to create personalized pride flags!

This picrew is free for everyone to use and edit as they so desire. You don’t have to credit me for it. My one rule is that this is not to be used for any commercial purpose whatsoever.

Here’s how it works:

The top row is for sexuality flags. The left side has flags for many different identities, and the right side is for asexual spectrum identities in particular. If you don’t identify as being on the ace spectrum, you don’t have to include a flag on the right–the flag you select on the left will cover the entire top row. This is true for all of the flags in this picrew.

The heart in the middle is for romantic orientations. The left side has lots of different flags for romantic orientations, and the right side has flags for aromantic spectrum identities. If you don’t experience split attraction, you don’t have to include this heart.

The bottom row is for gender identity flags. The left side has flags for many different genders, and the right has more obscure or specific genders, as well as a few other miscellaneously queer options.

The semicircle at the top is for pronouns. This part is also optional.

I’ve tried to include many different flags, but of course there’s lots out there that I don’t know and haven’t included. If you have a flag you’d like added to the picrew, feel free to let me know!

However, do be aware that picrew has an upper limit on how many options I can include, so if I don’t have any more space then I may not be able to add it in, unfortunately :( currently there is still space for flags for all of the parts; if that changes at any point, I will edit this post to let y'all know. Also, it will take be a little while to get a new flag added in, so please do be patient.

These are the currently available options, in order of appearance:

Top Left–rainbow pride, alternate rainbow (black and brown stripes), another alternate rainbow (pink and turquoise stripes), lesbian, gay male, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, asexual, quoisexual, abrosexual, ceterosexual, heterosexual, queer, questioning, trixic, toric

[MORE!] sapphic, achillean, diamoric, Sappho lesbian, demisexual, gray asexual, enbian, jaspian, gynesexual, androsexual, multispec, oriented aroace, angled aroace, aroace, iridian, opalian, unlabeled, homoflexible, heteroflexible, mspec lesbian

[MORE+] mspec gay, bi lesbian, bi gay, pan lesbian, pan gay, polysexual lesbian, polysexual gay, omni lesbian, omni gay

Top Right–asexual, gray ace, demisexual, aceflux, abrosexual, quoisexual, reciprosexual, lithosexual, apothisexual, nebulasexual, acespec questioning, inactsexual, cupiosexual, fraysexual, aegosexual/autochorissexual, placiosexual, lamvanosexual, oriented aroace

[MORE!] angled aroace, aroace, malasexual, acevague

Heart Left–rainbow pride, alternate rainbow (black and brown stripes), another alternate rainbow (pink and turquoise stripes), lesbian, gay male, biromantic, panromantic, polyromantic, omniromantic, aromantic, quoiromantic, abroromantic, ceteroromantic, heteroromantic, queer, questioning, trixic, toric

[MORE] queerplatonic, sapphic, achillean, diamoric, Sappho lesbian, gray aromantic, enbian, jaspian, gyneromantic, androromantic, multispec, oriented aroace, angled aroace, aroace, iridian, opalian, unlabeled, homoflexible, heteroflexible

[MORE+] mspec lesbian, mspec gay, bi lesbian, bi gay, pan lesbian, pan gay, polyromantic lesbian, polyromantic gay, omni lesbian, omni gay

Heart Right–aromantic, gray aro, demiromantic, aroflux, abroromantic, quoiromantic, recipromantic, lithromantic/lithoromantic, apothiromantic, nebularomantic, arospec questioning, queerplatonic, polyamorous, inactromantic, idemromantic, cupioromantic, frayromantic, aegoromantic/autochorisromantic

[MORE!] placioromantic, lamvanoromantic, oriented aroace, angled aroace, aroace, malaromantic, arovague

Bottom Left–cisgender, transgender, transfeminine, transmasculine, nonbinary, genderqueer, agender, neutrois, genderflux, genderfluid, demigirl, demiboy, deminonbinary, bigender, quoigender, aporagender, gender questioning, fluidflux

[MORE!] girlflux, boyflux, rainbow pride, multiflux, abinary, greygender, gendervague, pangender, unlabeled, butch, femme, futch

Bottom Right–nonbinary, trigender, polygender, maverique, genderfae, genderfaun, xirl, xoy, xenogender, neurogender, egogender/charagender, systemgender, intersex, polyamorous, drag pride, kink pride, queer chevron, alternate polyamorous (infinity heart)

[MORE!] androgyne, gender non-conforming, lunarian, solarian, stellarian, singularian, aurorian, autigender, parsgender, genderfaer, genderfaunet, genderflor, genderqueer, genderfluid, nebulagender, leather pride, catgender, snarlgender

[MORE+] dragongender, pupgender, demifluid/demigenderfluid, agenderfluix, aesthetigender, ambiamorous, vaguegirl, vagueboy, vaguefluid, vagueflux, foggender, foggirl, fogboy, fogfluid, gendernimius, paramegender, butch, femme

[MORE 2+] futch, spacalian, novarian, nebularian, cometian, phoenixian, pistolian, galaxian, meteorian, penumbrian, siderealian, universian, celestian, constellian, dawnian, duskian, daenixian

[MORE 3+] duenixian, equinoxian, hafian, solstian, twilightian, umbrian, wanian, waxian, atmospherian

Pronouns–she/her, he/him, they/them, she/they, he/they, he/she, ey/em, fae/faer, ze/zir, xe/xir, ze/hir, xe/hir, nounself, any/all, he/she/they, it/its, none, ???, she/it, he/it, they/it, kit/kits, xe/xer, xe/xim, xey/xem, dei/deim, ask for pronouns, nya/nyan, she/he, xe/xem, ae/aer, co/cos, cy/cyp, cy/cym, voi/vil, lyx/lyx, ro/ros, ri/rin, cy/cyber, ce/cir, bug/bugs, they/bug, ne/nym, she/neos, he/neos, they/neos, ne/nem, e/em, ve/vers

*brackets indicate that the flags in that section have overflowed into the next item in the list–they’ll be found in the options labeled “MORE”.

Plans for the Future:

-fun patterns! The patterns I have planned so far are bubbles, triangles, stars, paw prints, honeycomb, and bowling alley carpet. If any of you are particularly interested in seeing one of these patterns, feel free to let me know–I’ll move it to the top of the list. And I’m open to more suggestions about patterns, as well!

-of course, I’m always open to more flags and pronouns being added, too. At the moment all panels have open slots for new additions. Shoot me a message if you have a suggestion!

[the-kk-crow]

Ghost Timeline Index

The “Ghost Timeline” is a specific variant of Dreamtale that I use for my Preincident Nightmare Ukagaka. An Ukagaka is an intractable desktop buddy, and sometimes they are called “Ghosts” instead.

In this timeline, Nightmare eats a dark apple, but it didn’t turn immediately hostile. “Mare” lives inside of Nighty’s head and the two end up forming a secret bond.

AO3 - Black Apple Blues [Series/Compilation]

Sometimes abbreviated to "BwB". This is the main content of the ghost timeline, co-written by me, @wyrm-in-the-apple, and Dragon. The fics, originally published as anachronic vignettes, explore Night's relationship with Mare in more detail, and include snapshots of their life in the village and perspectives from Dream.

[Apple Rules Document]

Multi-page document about apples and the various ways they kill people. I’m quite fond of it.

The Art

I happen to post.... A LOT of drawings. Colored or not, I post it all. Most of this Index will be my attempts to keep this updated.

The Tags: Colored, Sketches (most by popularity), All by chronology.

Chronological Order

Separated by what fic they’re after/during. This is NOT currently up to date OR a comprehensive list.

Crushing - Scene from "Puberty is hard when you’re an immortal tree guardian and a magic apple lives in your head” about Night’s intrusive feelings! One of the earliest BwB sketches. Naming - Does the black apple get a name? [Colored] Put It Back - A colored comic about getting caught being bad. Hangin’ out - Just a cute picture [Art] Fanfiction - Night writes fanfiction ??? [Art] Scary Ladybug - Night likes bugs! Dream doesn’t. [Art] Worry - Night stays on user’s desktop a bit too long [Fic] Ukagaka Silliness - DTS and Gaster hanging out on the user’s desktop.

[Fic] Look Who Decided to Show Up - Fic that acts as an expansion of Worry.

[Fic] Reading - Dream has issues reading. Not QUITE as involved but written with the intent of being in the same universe.

The Audacity - Mare can’t read MareNight - Shipping WOW I used to not know if this would be canon

[Fic] Arrow - Dream fic! Bunch of internal monologuing by them showing their point of view of the situation.

[Fic] Why Couldn’t I? - Can a dark apple feel love?

[Art] Faces - Lack of identity is attractive [Art] Petting - Is it ok to pet Mare idk [Art] Translator - How does Gaster talk to people without the translator? [Art] Ribcage - shirtless skeletons ??? [Art] Comfort Item - Sometimes Dream is sad. [Art] You What - Mare can separate himself from Night if he wants! [Art] Together Cuddles - More vaguely Marenight cuddles [Art] Mwah - Night can give cuddles too!!! [Art] Magic - Mare eats Nighty’s excess magic to sustain himself, so that means that Night can’t do his own anymore. [Art] Do You Care - Negative route ukagaka jokes [Art] Group Hugggg - he wanted to be invited! [Art] Comfort - Night is hurt. Dream cuddles. [Fic] Not Hanahaki - The tree has the apples die out and grows flowers in their place once a year. Turns out, Mare, being an apple, also grows flowers. [Pic] [Other Pic]

Joke stuff Non canonical funny stuff that doesn’t ACTUALLY take place in the canon timeline. Misc Collection - a bunch of my first drawings about the timeline. Amazing. Ignore That - Mare says hi to Gaster Kinda Counts? - Me discussing Gaster and Venus (the twins mom) knowing each other. Not really related to the AU, but it was brought up because of the AU. The WHOLE Time?! - Turns out, Dream already knew about Mare and has for a while. Aro/Ace - Mildly connected to Crushing, Night hates feelings, Dream is LUCKY What is Fanfic For - How many fanfic tropes can we hit guys Perceive Dream - How is Dream seen by people, I wonder. Really? - Mare meets main timeline Nightmare

BwB Extras

There are a lot of side stories and AUs spinning off of it. There’s a SEPARATE series about it!

Coup Timeline - In which Dream and Night take over the village.

Appleswap - Dream eats a dark apple instead of Night.

Prequel? Stuff from before Black Apple Blues and could be seen as normal Preincident. Flower Outfits - For ceremonial reasons, funny looking outfits are required.

[xactodreams]

hi, I hope you're having a good day!! I've been reading the tags on my post about asexuality bc I love seeing that so many ppl feel seen & because a few people have sent me corrections. I saw yours re: the term aspec and wanted to reach out. I updated the original post to change aspec to acespec a few weeks ago but the version with aspec had already been reblogged enough that it hasn't been disseminated much :\\. I wasn't aware that aspec was taken from the autistic community, just that it's used to represent the intersection of ace/aro people (like aphobic being against both ace and aro ppl). I wanted to apologize for misusing aspec and thank you for tagging it with your comments!! I don't have much of a community so I really appreciate the information <33

oh my gosh, Hello!

First, I want to thank you for making such a lovely infographic, it’s important information to have and share, and I am glad you did!

Second, let me apologize for essentially being an old dude yelling at clouds in your tags! I’m so used to just yelling into the void there without anyone caring about my input, but that’s no excuse to be rude, so sincerely, I am sorry. It’s not that I didn’t take good faith into account, I just genuinely didn’t think anyone would read or care about my tags.

I do understand why in the last year or so the ace/aro community has decided to abbreviate into aspec, I truly do. And I wouldn’t have any issues with it if the autistic community hadn’t already been using that as a term for themselves for several years now, Much longer than I have seen it used for queer folk.

I do think it is important to recognize, though, that aspec was used originally to abbreviate Autism Spectrum Disorder, which is the official medical diagnosis for autism. As opposed to asexuality and aromanticism which do also exist on a spectrum, but do not actually have “spectrum” in their title.

Both communities are pretty small, and I suspect there’s a lot of overlap, even. So I don’t necessarily think the new use of “aspec” by queer people is inherently malicious at this time. But I would like to let people, in my circles at least, know that we should be careful about co-opting existing terms by other marginalized groups.

Thank you so much for reaching out to me, it genuinely means a lot, and I will go reblog your corrected post. 💜

[asexualone]

Signs I should have known I was aro: Marriage edition

My aunt got married last weekend. It had been a dream of mine ever since I was 10, to have a married aunt (and with kids) like everyone else. Almost a decade later, I don't particularly care anymore. It was a childish dream anyway, it doesn't affect me in any way. I do hope my aunt is happy, though. I want what's best for her.

BUT her wedding had me thinking — or rather, remembering — how much I don't want to get married.

As a child, I used to daydream of my own wedding day. Not in detail, just the idea of it. As I grew up, that idea started loosing its appeal to me. To the point where I just couldn't see myself married one day, let alone with kids *shudders*

At the age of 15, I decided I wouldn't marry at all. The possibility that I might find someone special and change my mind is something I never dismissed entirely, of course. I still used to get "crushes" back then, which I thought meant I could get a partner some day.

Less than 5 years later, I still don't want to get married. That decision is now dabbed up by my aroace identity. But it also serves as a living proof that no one is "too young and immature" to discover such things or make such decisions about oneself. I didn't "change my mind as I grew up" like adults say, and I doubt I'm ever going to.

I haven't told my family, though. Just like I haven't come out to them and probably never will. But I'm constantly slipping my distaste for a partner into our conversations. My relatives probably brush me off, but they'll remember my words when I truly don't get myself a spouse. Hopefully, they won't be as surprised or disappointed. I don't care, as long as they don't make me feel like shit about it and force me to distance myself from them.

If you are from Eastern Europe or know a few things about our culture, then you know exactly what kind of wedding I attended. Marriage is veryyyy important where I'm from. As such, everyone who congratulated my aunt's marriage to me, always managed to add a wish or two about my supposedly future wedding. Saying things like, "It's your turn now" or "I hope you too find someone special" and similar crap to that.

It's just how things are in my country. Everyone likes to play matchmaker. And not the cute "can I introduce you to someone" version. The one where the matchmaker slips your name, age and address to a suitor they are acquainted with and next thing you know, that man is in your house for a "visit", checking you out like a cow for sale in the market and seeing if you'd make a good wife or not.

Messed up, I know. To those relatives and their wishes, I only gave a pinched smile, trying to keep my disrespect levels at a minimum. Usually, I don't think ill of their words. But when they get repetitive, they tend to hurt because they imply that a spouse means ultimate happiness. And that's just NOT TRUE. I can be happy and complete just fine on my own. I can't explain this to them — it'd be like talking to a rock.

Anyway, to recap my opinion on marriage: unnecessary. I see no need for anyone to get married. It seems like an excuse people in failing relationships use to stay together. My aunt married that man after knowing him for less than two years, without so much as trying to co-live with him for a while and especially after they had many fights that were never truly resolved. I don't know how their marriage will turn out, but I just hope for the best. Either way, it's not my problem.

I've despised the idea of marriage for a while now. And not just because I've always been surrounded by people in unhappy, failed marriages. There are many other reasons, some of them aforementioned.

But what I didn't see is that it wasn't marriage. It is the idea of a partner I didn't like. The idea of being tied to someone like that, while freedom is something I've been craving ever since I realized how shitty and suffocating my life was. I should have realized my romantic orientation wasn't all that "normal", for lack of a better word.

P.S This post is NOT meant to invalidate the institution of marriage, nor the people who love it or are married and content. I adore it when I see couples, happily married and in love. It makes me feel like happiness is real and can be achieved in all forms. If you want to get married, good for you. I hope you find your happiness. This post is meant to be relatable to aros like me. To us who think that a relationship would be restricting instead of liberating.

Also, not wanting to get married doesn't necessarily mean one is aromantic. There are many allos who chose to avoid marriage, it isn't solely an aro thing. But, as all my aro/ace editions are, this too depicts one more way that helped me on the discovery of my orientation.

[burst-of-iridescent]

hey, i hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way, but i saw some of the posts you recently reblogged about yelena. i’m not very well informed on the aroace community and i have some genuine questions i was wondering if you could answer.

i thought yelena was only confirmed to be asexual not aro? so in that case what would be wrong with shipping her with someone romantically just not sexually? but if i am misremembering and she is aroace- does being aroace mean she would never enter a relationship with someone? can you be aroace and still marry and/or have a long term partnership with someone even if you don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction? could an aroace ever be in a relationship for someone if they only like them platonically but that other person likes them romantically?

sorry to dump such a long ask on you, feel free to ignore it if you want, it’s just hard to be to wrap my head around being aroace since i’m allo

hi! no worries at all anon, i'm more than happy to answer questions about being aromantic/asexual so long as they're in good faith. sorry it took me so long to get to this!

now, there have been claims that yelena is not aroace because she never explicitly says so in canon. but i think this is easily explained given the fact that the comics that introduced her came out in 1999, and asexuality and aromanticism is still so misunderstood and underrepresented today. the evidence for yelena being aroace is as follows:

1. in the comics, yelena is asked about being a lesbian and replied "i'm not a lesbian. i'm not...anything." i've seen people say that this could just be her being bi or pan or not having the words to describe her sexuality, but were this actually the intention, the writers could've just written yelena's lines as "i'm not just a lesbian. i'm...more than that" or something to that effect. it's disingenuous to argue that the words "i'm not...anything" fit being bisexual or pansexual more than it fits aromanticism & asexuality, which are the only sexualities with no attraction.

2. the writer of her comics, and co writer of the black widow movie, devin grayson, stated that yelena was "more likely to identify as asexual than to follow nat's romantic path". yelena being aroace comes from his use of "romantic" when referring to natasha, as many people use aroace and asexual interchangeably. i admit that this is vague, so yelena may very well be alloromantic; her asexuality, however, cannot be disputed.

3. yelena is confirmed as an asexual character in the LGBT characters Wiki and Wikipedia itself. given the amount of fact checking that goes into Wikipedia, i find it incredibly hard to believe that yelena's page would state that she is asexual if it's simply a headcanon. for comparison, the Wikipedia page on Albus Dumbledore (who was only said to be gay by R*wling in an interview) does not confirm his sexuality as gay; rather they have an entire section where they specify this was only mentioned by JKR and list the controversy regarding it. if yelena being ace were simply a personal author headcanon, it would have received similar treatment, but instead she is called "the first confirmed asexual character in the marvel universe". idk about you but i'm pretty sure headcanons don't make it into Wikipedia pages.

i thought yelena was only confirmed to be asexual not aro? so in that case what would be wrong with shipping her with someone romantically just not sexually?

now, you're right that yelena has only been confirmed to be asexual, though the hints at her romance repulsion in the black widow movie do indicate that she's likely aromantic as well. but technically, since she's not confirmed aro as yet, it is fine to ship her with someone romantically, so long as her asexuality is respected.

but if i am misremembering and she is aroace- does being aroace mean she would never enter a relationship with someone?

this is really up to the individual. some aroaces never want to enter relationships, others want queer platonic partnerships, yet others do want romantic relationships and marriage. in my case, for instance, i'm fairly sex repulsed so if someone is sexually attracted to me and expects sex in a relationship, that would be a dealbreaker. but i am okay with actions like kissing/cuddling/snuggling etc, all of which are a staple of romantic relationships, so i would be fine with doing all that with a partner. it's different for everyone, and all aroaces are valid no matter what they choose.

can you be aroace and still marry and/or have a long term partnership with someone even if you don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction?

you absolutely can! remember that being aroace defines your romantic/sexual attraction, not your actions. it is absolutely possible to kiss/marry/have sex with someone even if you're not attracted to them, and i'm sure even allos can relate to this. you could do it because you want to make your partner happy, because you don't mind the act itself and your body still has biological reactions, because you just want to spend your life with someone.

for allos, most of the time attraction and action go together, and i think that's why it's confusing to understand aromanticism/asexuality. aroaces might be fine in partnerships or having sex; they just don't feel the "pull" or the "draw" to this one specific person that allos do. i would liken it to eating even when you're not hungry; you don't need to, but it still makes you happy!

could an aroace ever be in a relationship for someone if they only like them platonically but that other person likes them romantically?

definitely. this would have to be discussed between both parties, of course, and i'm not sure it would work in all situations, but it can. again, it simply depends on the individual and their partner and what they're comfortable with.

the reason that aroaces are uncomfortable with yelena being in romantic/sexual relationships is because most of this shipping is done by allos, who use the "but aroaces can still be in a relationship and have sex!" card to disrespect yelena's sexuality. very few people seem to consider the opposite: well, what if yelena doesn't want to be in a relationship or have sex? what if she's romance/sex repulsed (as hinted at in the BW movie)? why is the defining perspective the first side, and not the second?

in real life, aroaces can absolutely be in a relationship, marry, and have sex. but in fiction, if that's the primary way that major aroace characters are represented, then maybe think about why that seems to be only way of writing aroace characters and how coincidental it is that it ties into existing societal norms of amatonormativity and hypersexuality.

[rudjedet]

Hello new followers, welcome to this Egyptologist's random blog! Here I yell about Egypt, my novel, and life as mum of a precocious toddler, all the while sharing bullshit memes and making lettuce shitposts. This is a personal blog, so don't expect purely Egyptological content. I also swear a lot.

For personal health reasons I'm currently not taking Egyptology research questions.

You can check out the FAQ instead, which I'm working on updating with 2 years of material. You're still welcome to send writing-related asks, silliness about Egypt or anything else, personal messages, etc. Just no longer answering asks that would require me to do cross-referencing, research, all that stuff (I might answer in brief if I have the pertinent knowledge at the ready). I'm still going to make bitchy little posts about ancient Egypt though, don't worry.

My official field of expertise is ancient Egyptian medicine, subspecialty head trauma/surgical treatment (particularly in the Edwin Smith Papyrus). I’m also the unofficial Seth expert by virtue of this apparently being a void that had to be filled on Egypt-interested Tumblr. Other than that I'm a Middle Kingdom and art history fangirl through and through.

If you like my Egyptology content and want to leave a tip (which is in no way required or even expected, but always greatly appreciated!), you can do so here:

The book I'm writing is a historical fantasy set in Ancient Egypt, about an infamous thief with the powers of the desert looking for her own identity in all the wrong places. When her hubris finally catches up with her, she must help the harsh general who has his own reasons for not trusting her defeat a magician with more heka than any mortal should possess. In her search for who she is, she decides to involve herself with many more cosmic powers than might be healthy - certainly more than would be smart. I yell about this thing a lot, you'll get used to it. If you see a random post or tag talking about D, that's ma'am miss thief. Not to be confused with C, who is my 4 y/o daughter.

NB. This blog is a trans-supportive space. Trans women are women and trans men are men, straight trans people are as valid as queer ones, you don't need to be dysphoric to be trans, and although in general I may still make honest mistakes when talking about these things I am always open to be corrected. TERFs here to co-opt our explanations about Hatshepsut in order to invalidate the trans experience can fuck off or it's on sight.

And while I'm here, aro/ace people belong in the queer community because they are queer. Biphobes can also stuff it. I don't care who you love or how you love them, your heart is not anyone's to pass judgment on. If they do, tear theirs out and feed it to Ammit.

[arofili]

aI was tagged to do this fic writer game by @crownlessliestheking and @tol-himling! thanks!

how many works do you have on AO3?

366!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

1,235,059  woahhh :0

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

25 - my top 5 are the Silm (243 fics), the Hobbit (54 fics), LOTR (34), Les Mis (16), and TAZ (11), with Lockwood & Co at sixth with 7 fics.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Love and Fear” (290 kudos) - Gigolas oneshot for TRSB19

“Half-brother, half-hatred” (274 kudos) - Feanor & Fingolfin fluff

“Free from the ties that bind” (264) - a goddamn Fast and Furious oneshot I wrote for my irl friends jdhfkdjh

Wedding Blues (215) - aro Kel + Dom fic from the Tortall universe, still quite proud of this one!

“Eru’s Last Grace” (also 215) - Elros visits Maedhros in Mandos before he leaves to accept the Gift of Men

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes absolutely!!! I may take some time to get around to them, but it’s very important to me to respond to comments! commenting fosters community in fan spaces and I want to show my gratitude to the people who are kind enough to engage with me <3

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

it took me awhile to pick one, because I really don’t write angsty endings all that often? I love some good angst, but I need comfort with my hurt. that being said, there are a couple, and I think of all of them the angstiest is probably “out of reach,” a Kidnap Dads fic set right after the Kinslaying where Maglor watches Maedhros absolutely fall apart. though there’s a couple other good candidates, too.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

on occasion! I don’t really count intra-Legendarium crossovers as “crossovers,” though (and neither does AO3 if you sort by only crossovers, apparently!). the ~craziest~ is probably that MarioKart/Hunger Games crossover fic I wrote for a friend as a joke. it is very old and I will not be linking it, lmao.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah, every now and again. usually it’s someone being upset that I’m not as much of a Feanorian apologist as them?? which is wild bc I am definitely a Feanorian apologist, lmao. MayaMarkova my nemesis </3

do you write smut? if so what kind?

yep! mostly lovey-dovey Russingon stuff, but I’ll branch out into other ships now and then. and I love writing trans smut <3

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, twice! one was this Bilbo Dies AU and the other was this Findrahil piece; both were translated into Russian. and I think I’ve gotten requests for translations into Chinese of some of my Russingon fics, but either they’re hosted off-site or they haven’t been finished yet, because I don’t see them linked in AO3.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

a couple times, and almost always with my bff @buffintruder​ <3

what’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean - Russingon!

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

uhhh probably something saved in the bowels of my Google Drive that has never seen the light of day. I try really hard not to post things I don’t intend on finishing. but right now I guess I’m most worried about not following through on Roads Go On and Moonlight, just because I’ve shifted focus to the Silm and it’s harder to get inspiration to write for LOTR and the Hobbit!

what are your writing strengths?

I definitely feel confident writing dialogue and emotion!

what are your writing weaknesses?

action scenes are difficult, I just don’t know what to say!! and I can get so caught up in the ~feelings~ of it all that I forget to describe anything else...

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

ok wow so I DO have opinions on this. if the character is shifting into another language, I’ll sometimes put the dialogue into italics (aka, if a native Quenya speaker switches to Sindarin for a few sentences, or just a word or two, the Sindarin will be in italics). other times I’ll just mention the language change in the dialogue tag. BUT if I’m writing a native Quenya speaker who uses a word in Quenya, that will NOT be italicized, because for the character the language has not changed. so like, I wouldn’t write, “Thank you, vanimelda,” because it’s implied that the “thank you” was also in Quenya, and I as the writer was just ~translating~ it to English for the reader’s benefit. It would be “Thank you, vanimelda.” The Quenya word would just be “untranslated.”

BUT if the character was speaking English and then called someone a nickname in Quenya, i.e. in a Maglor-in-the-modern-day story, then I WOULD italicize it. “Thank you, mellon.” - because mellon is a shift out of the “base” language. does that make any sense???

it’s also a matter of aesthetics, tbh.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

..........warrior cats. do NOT ask me how many words of warrior cats fic I’ve written.

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I like a lot of my fics, but my favorite is probably the Russingon Fake Dating AU (Finno’s POV is still in the works!!), although I’m also very fond of Revelations in my modern AU series.

I tag @buffintruder @thatfeanorian @arrivisting @admirablemonster @elesianne and @naryaflame ! (no pressure ofc!)

[mcrmadness]

This is just me talking about (my) asexuality and aromanticism and mainly about how I figured I'm aroace. I'm from Finland and recently turned 30 so my experience and "lgbt+ history" might not be what you know it as, especially if you are not from Europe, or if your native language is English.

Also this is highly personal, so I doubt anyone here will have 100% same experience. But that's fine because remember: we're all individuals here and these are NEVER universal. You're still valid even if you wouldn't relate to what being aspec is to me.

It might be IS a long post so beware, but I've just been feeling like writing down some thoughts so here we go...

What I have been able to track is that I was 17, in 2008, when I first stumbled upon the term "asexuality". I don't remember exactly how, but I just remember reading about it and immediately going "yeah that's me". But what I do remember is that no one talked it being about sexual attraction. Basically how understood it was: asexuality = sex-repulsion.

I was 17, and somehow I knew I was sex-repulsed, but at the same time also thought I'm just a minor, so it's normal to be sex-repulsed. But even after turning 18, I don't recall ever feeling sexual attraction. I didn't think of myself as a "late bloomer" but just as someone who just has no interest towards sex. At some point I became really anxious of men, however. Nothing has ever happened to me* but still I, for some reason, developed terrible fear of men. I'm afab and just did not want to be seen as an object, and it made, still makes me, terrified to think someone might look at me and have Emotions. I know that we can't control our brains, I mean, I can't look at someone and force myself to feel attraction - just like those who do feel attraction, can't force themselves to stop feeling attraction. They can only control their actions. But yeah, I also had horrible (sexual) intrusive thoughts due to my generalized anxiety disorder at some point, which did not really help. They got a bit better when I came into terms with my asexuality and aromanticism, but sometimes they still come at me and it's never fun, but at least they're not as strong as what they used to be.

*(Unless if you can count that as sexual harrasment when, CW, I was 11 and a classmate was "into" me and tried to touch my face and talk "sweet things" to me but made it into a show despite me being uncomfortable and usually crying cos as a neurodivergent I didn't know how else to react.)

But anyway, back to the topic. So for years I understood asexuality as sex-repulsion, but I guess it's because I, well, am a sex-repulsed ace. So if I'm sex-repulsed, why would I then look at someone and feel something if I'm repulsed by the thing anyway? Like, it probably can't get any simpler than this :D And I know today that it's not as simple anymore. But that was 2008, at school (in ~2005) they only talked about gays a little, on one page in a sex.ed. book that otherwise was maybe 100 pages long. Only one page. About gays. And it was basically "Some boys like boys or some girls like girls and it's totally fine." and that was it, but the overall assumption was that everyone likes someone. And also there were no romantic orientations. Liking someone = both sexually and romantically. Not liking = not a thing except when you were depressed or otherwise mentally ill, or autistic or mentally disabled (which is a SUPER ableist take btw). I don't remember teachers ever talking about this, but it could also just be my adhd, maybe they did mention, but I just don't remember. At least in my notebooks there is no mention of this, everything was very much heteronormative and amatonormative, and also there was only two genders. I don't remember ever hearing about transgender people, apart from foreign documentaries and in them they were always portrayed as some shocking freaks of the nature, and loads of wrong terms were used. And this is still the mid and late 2000s we're talking about!

So this takes us to the other part aka aromanticism. Back then asexuality was not only sex-repulsion but also merged together with aromanticism, because people didn't talk about romantic orientations yet. So asexuality was not only sex-repulsion, but also you simply just not wanting a relationship. Again, nothing about attraction, just someone who did not care about sex nor relationships. A "forever single", if you will.

This was already annoying me a lot back then because I was really annoyed by sex "running the world". I was so angry because why is asexual the only sexuality that doesn't like sex? All the other sexualities had the assumption of them always wanting to have sex. Like, even think about someone who is straight, you hear that someone is straight, and you automatically assume(d) that oh they're into sex too cos why wouldn't they be. This was really driving me nuts because I was sure there are people who want to have a partner, but never want to have sex! I was still experiencing crushes, and I knew for sure it was nothing sexual, so it annoyed me that just because I'm asexual, it means I can't have crushes. That's why I actually called myself as "asexual bi" for a while, because "bisexual" indicated I would have not been sex-repulsed and I wanted to point out that I'm NOT into sexual things, at all - and remember that this was still the late 2000s or early 2010s and I had not heard of romantic orientations yet! So I was up to something, there just were no terms for that yet! Today that would be called bi-/panromantic asexual.

I haven't been able to track the exact date or even year when did I figure out I'm aromantic, or when did I hear about romantic orientations for the first time. From the messages I've been able to find, I was already in my early 20s. Aka somewhere around maybe 2011-2013. In those, I have still been wondering what I am or if I even want to have a relationship, not being really able to tell what I wanted or didn't want. Again, no one told me romantic orientations are about ATTRACTION and not about whether you have commitment issues or not (this as a half-joke, cos I have severe commitment issues with everything :D I need to feel free!).

Anyway, I do remember my key moment with aromanticism, or the "aromantic awakening" as you could call it too, was when I was 17 or 18. Or maybe I was older? I don't know, I have time blindness. Anyway, I had this one online friend I had a "crush" on (I think it was just undiagnosed adhd's person hyperfixation) and I even told her about it. Everything just is super shady, from those years, I was not really on my best and there are so many overlapping memories that feel like different alternative universes instead of memories on a same timeline. Anyway, I just remember at some point thinking about this girl and I thought about some "romantic" stuff, like kissing, and I just remember my brain going "NOOOOOPE!" I had wanted to meet with her some day so bad, but when I started thinking about actually meeting with her, I started to nope the fuck out. All I had in my head was awkward embarrassing "first kiss" scenarios from movies and I just was not having it! I basically went "lol I guess I'm aro too, then XD" but I still don't remember when did I have this realization. Was I 17? Or was I, say, 22? I guess I need to go through my old MSN Messenger and Skype convos some day to investigate this further because I really want to know. I couldn't even find anything from my Tumblr from those times (I registered here in 2011), but I don't know if that's just me not tagging or Tumblr search functioning normally (aka it never finds anything).

But yeah, I am touch-repulsed. And kiss-repulsed, and romance-repulsed, too, (unless it's my OTP we're talking about). I'm still not exactly sure if I'm touch repulsed because I'm aromantic, or if I'm aromantic because I'm touch-repulsed. I only know that because of my sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent), I have never liked touching nor being touched. Even as a little kid I hated hugs and never liked sitting on anyone's lap. I only tolerated my parents, mainly my mom, because they were my safe place as an extremely shy baby/toddler/kid, who was especially wary about men. I can't explain the latter, but there was something about adult men that caused me (as a baby) to hide my face against my mom's shoulder if they talked to me. I did that to everyone I didn't know, but especially to men I didn't know. No idea why.

I also remember how my siblings loved to sit on people's laps and were always climbing onto their laps, and I didn't like this. And once my (late) grandma was so touched when she asked me if I want to sit on her lap (I was maybe 5-7?) and I agreed just to make her happy. I still remember how it felt, and I did not like it at all, but it still made my grandma so happy that I THINK she almost cried when she told my mom I actually agreed to sit on her lap. I'm not sure how real this last part of the memory is because I was so young. But I do remember thinking I do that for a change because I knew my grandma would be happy.

So yeah, my touch-repulsion is not exactly a new thing but just something that has been a part of my personality forever. But is that the core reason for why I only feel aesthetic attraction? I never look at people and feel like I wanna touch. More of the opposite, the idea of having to touch them or them touching me makes me go "eeewww". If you have seen that video of a gibbon shaking their whole body after seeing a rat in their exhibit? That's what I feel like when I think about touching or being touched, in just any way, also platonically.

The only time I feel "sensual attraction" is when I see photos or videos of animals. The urge to pet a tiger is insane. But the feel of another human's skin or muscle (or hair or whatever) is very repulsive to me.

I still remember how disgusting it felt to e.g. sit on a cousin's lap. We sometimes used swings like this, and somehow I was aware of it not feeling nice, but still not doing anything about it cos it also was okay? Only later I have realized I really, really loathe the texture of human skin. Or the warmth and overall feeling of a human body. For example, I was at least 7 or younger when I sat on my cousin's lap while we were sitting on a swing and STILL, after over 20 years, I have that all in my body memory. I remember how the thigh bone felt under my legs and how freaking disgusting the muscles felt inbetween. Also at school, on the 1st grade, we often had to walk in a line of twos after the teacher and hold the pair's hand so no one gets lost. My then-friend had so ridiculously dry skin that the only thing I could think of was how I felt like throwing up because the skin on her palm felt so damn disgusting. I still can feel that in my hand when I think of it. That's one of my "core memories" from 1st grade - how disgusting the human skin can feel like.

I don't think I have ever felt actual romantic attraction towards anyone. It's really difficult to differentiate because as I mentioned, I get those people hyperfixations easily. I guess it's the same hormones but I never really want to do anything with them? I guess it's the emotional intimacy that "attracts" me and what gets me excited, but I'm still not exactly sure what emotional intimacy means to me. I don't exactly fall into the QPR category either, in a way I wish I had a best friend whose best friend also I would be, and that neither would have anyone else who is "better" than the other one. But the only intimacy there would be emotional intimacy, nothing else. And I need my freedom so I wouldn't move in with any human being, either.

Sometimes I've thought my "ideal partner" would be a robot because if I get annoyed, I could just turn it off and stuff into a closet and leave there, and if I felt like not having a "relationship" anymore, I could just remove the harddrive and destroy the robot, or both. That way I would be the only one with the memories, and I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there knowing things about me, things that only the closest can know, and I'm really afraid of letting anyone close in case it won't work (also with regular friendships) because I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I had that MIB memory cancelling device so that they would again know almost nothing, or at least much much less about me. There's already one friendship that ended a few years ago and I still keep thinking about how I wish I could take everything back and how I wish they delete(d) all the files and drawings and stuff I sent them. There are so many things about me I wish I never told them, now as we are no longer friends. Back then it felt like "of course this is gonna last a lifetime!" but turns out that nope, not all friendships will.

I guess it's time to stop rambling. This post is really long already. If you read it all the way here: congrats. And thanks. You probably just wasted your time but... that's on you I guess :DDD But yeah, some thoughts from a 30-years-old aroace who has been aware of their identity for at least or almost 10 years now.