#ITS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT EVER ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY

[triglycercule]

i love that the murder time trio all have dangerous little greetings. horror has his little hand drill thing. killer puts a knife up his sleeve and then does a little switcharoo. dust INSTINCTIVELY shoots whoever he sees with a bone. no greeting whatsoever. so just imagine how things go on a first meeting or whatever. immediately horror and killer have to dodge bones from dust and horror's like hey wtf man. mildly irritated but he just met these guys so he's willing to forgive. he's not gonna lose his cool in front of these two random ass guys even though one just tried to kill him. killer just has that dumbass smile on his face like always (but he was intrigued when dust did that. like who tries to kill someone on first sight?? he's curious now :3)

and then theyre all just standing together and staring for a moment and horror sticks out his hand. killer takes the bait but then he just points a knife to horror's stolen eye once he realizes that he got duped and his other hand is now currently being drilled into. dust didn't shake either of their hands because he could see the drill and tell that killer had something off about him in general. but he does give a tiny smile when he sees the state that the two r in rn with the drill and knife. it's an eensy bit funny in his eyes

least violent mtt interaction

[wu-wakfu-undertale]

Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???

dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"

[jacklesraised]

my gift is being annoying, see, i can hate myself and be so horrendously anxious that i think trying to make being alive easier for myself is somehow offensive to others bc thats how so many people online act like literally any accomodations not made by the doctors that dont care abt you at all are somehow unnecessary and ‘fishing for attention’ to the point i ruin myself and destroy my body avoiding accomodations bc i dont want to ‘seem like a bad person’ for quite literally needing help. but give me a tv show and 30 seconds with new information and i will either give you the most thought provoking theory or the most wildcard theory ever and always be correct.

[yuri-is-online]

Ok so jadeyuu! Jadeyuu? Jade is an eel. Jade has never been in a relationship- never even got the urge. So he's kinda panicking when he finally snaps out of his little domestic daydreams only to realize. He has no idea how to actually get to those daydreams.

How do humans court? Fuck humans for a second how does his own species court??? He only know surface level (ha) shit he never paid attention beyond that cause it was "irrelevant" (he wants to go back in time and punch himself so bad. For several reasons).

So now he's trying to figure it out but heres the thing, he only has super cheesy media to work with. Bro is taking it so seriously but some of the stuff is just???

Why is sharing clothing so important?

Are flowers really that big of a deal?

Why do all these couple fight all the time? He doesn't want to fight with yuu he just wants to feed them mushroom dishes and cuddle and "cuddle" He doesn't want to fight! Why do couple always fight in these movies is it necessary?? Is it a love language??

What's a one night stand?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WITH SOMEONE YOU JUST MET???

... has yuu had any? They told him once that most of their past relationships were "situationships" and he had to laugh and pretend he wasn't about to simultaneously raise hell and profusely thank your exes for fumbling so hard.

What's this about your father's consent? Does he need to get your father's consent? Would any parent work or just your father? Do you even like your father- shit you haven't even seen your father since you've been here and he's a literal world away. ....shit.

Someone stop him he's about to create an entire world wide scheme to invent otherworldly communication just to ask his not-parners dad if he can even court them in the first place-

Oh it's not that important in modern day?? Oh. Thank goodness.

At what point in this can he ask you to be his officially?

At what point can he start indulging himself in all his somewhat ugly jealous urges in public without scaring you off?

Would it be considered a "red flag" to ask you to only talk to him? He knows it is he's just holding out hope that maybe you'll agree to be kept in a large terrarium of his and be completely his and-

You would never agree to that. Oh well, an eel can dream. If Ace gets all clingy with you again he's going to break his arm off.

How long does he have to wait until he can show you to list of names he's already thought about giving your future children?

CAN HE PLEASE JUST HOLD YOU??? PLEASE!!!

Idk where I'm going with this I just got the mental image of jade watching titanic (something something convenient potion accident) and hurriedly scribbling down notes every time something romantic happens and I wanted to share that image.

I like the idea of Jade doing research about human courtship. I really really like it I think it's so stupidly funny to picture Mr. Suave, one hell of an eel butler reading human x merfolk fanfiction and going O: that's me (˶ˆᗜˆ˵) Or watching romcoms and taking notes that's hilarious. He watches titanic and nods "yes this would never happen with us, I would simply drag them into the sea and then we would live together happily ever after while everyone else drowns- ah or is that too fatalistic?"

But yes he doesn't know much about courtship in general. He can "flirt" but its not intentional on his part, he's just being snarky. But with you he has no idea what to do. The clothing thing makes no sense to him, is it to stake a claim? Then why not bite you? That would get the point across faster... is it a him thing to want to do that or is it a mer thing? One night stands are too complicated, there's too many ways for that to go wrong the only reason Jade could think to have one is if someone has information you want to steal and he's not interested in obtaining things that way. They don't owe you anything that way.

Jade with soft yan! urges he tries to tamp down because he knows they're not healthy but he just wants to protect you form the dangerous that exist in the coral sea. Even if you become a merfolk you still used to be human, soft, fragile, and so naive... really there's no end to the things that could steal you away from him. Like Ace! Now if you could please look the other way while he disposes of this pest- he jests. He would never rob you of your friends, everyone needs them and he needs you to need him the same way humans need air.

Also the sheer irony of Yuu complaining all of their past relationships being situationships when that's what they have going on with Jade right at that very moment. Maybe that was intentional huh Jade ever think of that? Maybe the pretty human was huffing at you and batting their eyes because they are frustrated that history is repeating itself and the sketchy guy their friends don't approve of is being unclear about his feelings again. He figures that out once he finally finds out the definition and he feels so so stupid

[kenzan-brainrot-mp4]

More pirate yakuzer ending ranting (I have been so unwell literally all day over this fuckass game it's not even funny)

It's so fucked up to me that pirate yakuza technically had a "perfect ending". Like you literally have one of the most upbeat endings to a yakuza game I can think of; everyone won, none of the protagonists' allies/friends/family had to die to make it happen (INSANE concept for a yakuza game I know, rgg should be proud of themselves for that one), they found the damn treasure and kept it all without tearing each other apart over it, Noah got to fulfill his dream without getting traumatized, the Rich family's relationship is. Well idk if it's completely fixed but it's certainly better now. AND Majima got payback on that fuckass squid that made him lose his memories. And Majima Construction's getting back off the ground to help wrap up the whole ex-yakuza conflict as a neat little bonus.

Like, in terms of conflict resolution, this is as good as it's gonna get like ever. Straight up fairytale "the real treasure was the friends we made along the way" levels of success right there. Pretty much Any other Yakuza game would Never give you an ending this clean without any heartbreak to agonize over. Or at least that's how it Seems, for like 98% of the ending sequence, and then the game throws some of the most gut wrenching shit ever at you.

Majima was literally able to (again, without ANY losses) accomplish everything he could've possibly wanted in Hawaii. Except the One Thing he sought out to find when he left for Hawaii in the first place, before the game even started. He ran off to chase after a fantasy, and you know he did basically find what would be a fantasy to anyone else, but it wasn't the one he was looking for.

The hard dose of reality in the last few minutes of the game was a Crazy move. Pyih as a whole lowkey felt like a fever dream, but that last scene, the dawning realization of Why Majima was going to Hawaii in the first place was like waking up and realizing that things still kind of suck in the real world.

Also just like. The theme of dreams in general? (Oh my god it's like yakuza 5 all over again no way). Noah's dream to see the world, Jason's dream to finally find that treasure, Rodriguez's too while we're at it, etc. Literally everyone got their dream fulfilled on that fuckass adventure despite how hopeless it all seemed at the start. Or at least, almost everyone's. Majima's dream before he got amnesia was equally as hopeless and absurd if not more, because he, technically, should know better. In any other circumstance if someone told Majima Goro that there was some magical treasure that could make you live forever and Also hopefully cure cancer he'd laugh in their face, but the way Saejima described his actions made it seem like he was, really, dead serious (or just desperate. Definitely desperate) on trying to find it. And well, we all know how that turned out. Hell its even worse because basically according to Saejima, Majima's dream was so much bigger than just that treasure, it was Kiryu himself. And we all know how hopeless That's been for who knows how long at this point. (Something something "guys our age are supposed to be smart enough not to go chasin' legends." something something Kiryu constantly bring referred to as the "legendary yakuza/dragon")

(On a sidenote, it's so fucking funny to me that everyone on Nele Island (including Majima if he hadn't gotten amnesia on the way there) was basically going "*rubs hands together* I'm going to look for this secret ancient treasure behind the others' backs and Not tell anyone else about it" all at the same time. That's pretty fucking hilarious, if I ignore the absolute agony of the Majima Implications. I love you pirate yakuza you were such a game)

And then as if all that wasn't enough, the game makes sure to give you an extra kick in the dick by basically telling you that the "eternal life elixir" that everyone was looking for was under their noses the Entire Time. They were literally All There where it was, and now it's at the bottom of the ocean, and the only man who knew about it is dead.

Not that it really mattered by then, for the mostpart. Everyone who was after the treasure had basically made their peace that the legend they were hunting after wasn't gonna be there. Jason and Noah, most notably, decided that they ultimately didn't need it, because Noah would be fine, and his condition wouldn't hold him down. Like he said, it could be a lot worse. But considering Majima's. Dubious amounts of peace he's made with Kiryu, and the fact that he, out of everyone in the crew, was left in the dark about those final clues about where the "treasure" really was? Damn. That's crazy. That shit hurted.

Also the fact that they literally made Majima encounter a whale too when that's where the "Heart of the Dragon" originated from? Bro was so close to finding what he was "truly" looking for so many times. And he basically Just missed every step of the way. And I just think that's a little fucked up.

Like idk, just the fact that rgg can pack so much bittersweetness into such a generally joyful game in the span of like 10 minutes is insane. The way that they can cast the whole game in a different light, by revealing Majima’s true intentions for his Hawaii trip, by having his last line of the game basically take it all back to the beginning (woah re-playability) but in what feels like almost an entirely different, far more depressing context, was genius. (Do you think that Kiryu ever got to know that Majima went to Hawaii for him or do you think that Majima plans to keep that part in the dark forever? I mean he was willing to die for Haruka once because he knew that she was one of the only joys in Kiryu's life and he sure as hell didn't get to know about that soo...). Just. Damn rgg. They really had me thinking this would be their one game that was almost entirely feel-good (for the mainstory at least), only to me serve the most insane gut punch I've felt in a While. Good job guys.

Tl;dr That ending ruined my entire day. It was perfect. Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii is a love story guys pack up and go home.

[v1bri]

i use tiktok mostly just to post my own edits and see my mutuals stuff now bc im sick of the fandom on there. most of them clearly watched the show with their head up their ass or smth because they’re manage to come up with the most simultaneously hilarious and horrible takes ever.

also because not a single one of them can take bertholdt’s character seriously without rehashing the exact same name jokes i’ve heard since i joined the fandom in 2021. like sure some are funny but it gets so old so quickly, and when you make a post actually going into his character and being a bit more serious the comments are just “poor [some word beginning with b]” like PLEASE SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT!!!

literally had to put in the caption of one of my bert videos “stfu about his name for once” bc i knew the kind of comments i’d receive if i didn’t.

this fandom rather completely forgets his character (who is extremely important to the plot and towards the entire character of reiner but that’s a whole other thing), hates him for what he did even tho they love reiner/annie, or they treat him like a joke and never bother to go past surface level with his character.

he is the most interesting warrior imo because he was the first to openly admit and see that all the fighting was stupid and pointless. that the paradis eldians were no different from him and him killing them wasn’t personal, it was what had to be done to save his father. there’s alot more to him but im worried this will become like 3k words if i dont stop but most of the fandom can’t even comprehend that its actually ridiculous.

people treat him like absolute shit because he died first and he was weak when firstly shut the fuck up?? he was not weak in the slightest and had the most powerful titan ability bar the actual fucking founding titan. like oh my god. and other people say “oh he was too attached to reiner” dog that’s the point. of his character. oh my god.

idk i think im just sick of the fandom treating him like this. he and connie are imo the most overlooked characters in the entire animanga.

and don’t even get me started on how shit both him and connie are treated in official arts and stuff bc. wow

[tokiwarcube]

I have a funny thought ! How would the boys react to their s/o meeting their parents. I feel like this would be hilarious or uncomfortable for the s/o (because they may get to see pictures of the boys when they were babies/kids or some of them talking about weird topics) but downright mortifying for the guys, because they’re parents are embarrassing at times, lol !!

And it’s okay if you don’t do this one, have a nice day or night :) 

I swear, I went into this with silliness and joy in my heart. But alas, not all of our boys had... passable parents. Not angst, but some of our boys are tinged with it.

Nathan Explosion

Maybe if he smashes the photo frames, he can gouge out his eardums so he doesn’t have to listen to this anymore. He regrets ever introducing you to them, and worse, he’s wishing death unto whoever created the fucking camera. How do they have this many photos of him? How do they remember such weird shit about his childhood? How does he not remember that phase, and how did they even get that photo? He hates every moment of this. I mean really, with how quickly Rose pulled out the baby albums, its like she’s been waiting for this moment her entire life. Maybe she has. And he knows his dad has too, with how readily he’s jumping on to add details to every little story. He knows you’re never gonna let him live any of this down.

He would like a copy of him, age 10, punching Donald Duck though. Now that, that was brutal.

Pickles the Drummer

If the stories that Molly remembered weren’t so damn embarrassing, he might feel happy that she remembers so much of his toddling years. But then she’s pulling out her phone to show you the old family photos she “sent to the clouds,” and she’s zooming in on one of his baby photos, and good God, he’s about to walk into the woods and never come back. He hates that stupid polo shirt.

He chooses not to comment on how she doesn’t talk about his teenage years, and he bites his tongue when the garage discussion comes up. Place a hand on his thigh to quell his bouncing leg before he loses it, please.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

This could go one of two ways — either A.) She sets her sights on you, or B.) She doesn’t. The former is just about the most uncomfortable situation you could possibly be in, and no amount of reminders that you’re dating her son will dissuade her. When Servetta is over, Skwisgaar has learned to just keep his head down, ignore everything, and just practice his scales. But the moment she starts flirting with you? It’s the only time you’ve ever heard him miss a note.

In the latter case though, she does actually try to regale you with stories from Skwisgaar’s childhood… but they’re tinged with a sadness that frankly, I don’t think she entirely grasps. Stories of him holding her hair back in the morning, that time he punched one of her dates, or that time he walked home in the snow because he thought she forgot him at school… not all of the stories are like that, mind you, but they’re interspersed so casually with the normal ones that really, it leaves a rather heavy impression.

Toki Wartooth

He’s catatonic, and for better or for worse, doesn’t recall much of the meeting once they leave. He’s left with very faint memories, ghost-like in nature, of Anja silently encouraging you to go out on the town with her… but it’s all very foggy.

William Murderface

Now surely, murder has to be warranted in this case. How the hell Stella keeps finding him, he’ll never know — what he does know, however, is that he’s about to lose his fucking mind. Rationally, he knows that the stories she’s telling shouldn’t be that embarrassing — he still pisses in the apple bins at the grocery store, who gives a fuck? — but it’s the way she says it that just makes his anger boil and his face flush in embarrassment. You have to be the voice of reason for him, otherwise he might actually kill her this time.

[fuckitpossumorb]

I know everyone and their mother has made fun of how out of all the LoA campaigns Uprooted is the one with the increasingly growing crime list. The body horror campaign is about the power of friendship meanwhile the cartoon woodland critters are talking about overthrowing the government and encountering terrible horrors. Its hilarious.

However, I think the funniest part is how much the uprooted crew doesn’t want to deal with NPCs. Every other crew is (for some reason) incredibly trusting of most characters they know until they either get fucked over it or they see said character make a terrible act.

The most vivid example of my mind rn is when the CoS crew gets robbed and they all believe is Esmeralda and start talking about how they should stop being so trusting, then, when it’s revealed it wasn’t actually Esmeralda but rather the dusk elf Sarnax says that there is a lesson to be learned here and Kana goes “We shouldn’t jump to conclusions”

Like, baby, no, what.

But the uprooted crew doesn’t trust anyone as far as they can throw them, the only npc character they have put on for a long time has been Nestor who they only wanted to help for their own personal gain. They couldn’t give less of a shit about the woodland alliance, they only helped Booker’s dad because he’s Booker’s dad and their patience was running thin.

Ever since the bear they have slowly and slowly grown more bitter towards everyone around them and I think it’s actually a very funny detail.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Aahh your addition to actually girl sanji was amazing ✨ thank you

Its so funny to have them realising all the way to WCI/Wano, theyre all so silly. ALSO CHOPPER- He's new to the crew and giving them all a check up to get up to date with their physicals and he's all like 'dont worry Sanji your secret is save with me!! I wont tell anybody!!' And sanji thinks he's actually talking about the nr 3 burnmark (hc of mine that judge labeled all his children) so she's very thankful to him

Omg and the ship options... To many possibilities to choose from... Luffy going 'HES NOT A PRETTY BUT SHES A PRETTY GIRL?!!' Literally no fucks given nothing changes but he looveess the clothes and makeup nami gives sanji to wear (the liploss tastes like fruit and the dress fabric is so softt!!!)

Or sanami... Nami feeling attracted to sanji even though she's a lesbian and heaving a sexuality crisis cause is she bisexual??? But no she's still a major lesbian (or even funnier no attraction until its 'stupid guy -> stupid girl??!!!'

Honestly east blue poly would be funny as hell, so many possibilities

Also (sorry im rambling) SHES ZEFFS LITTLE GIRL 💥💥when she left with luffy, zeff 100% threatened the shit out of him (he also did this in canon but with his mind UvU) idk i fucking adore zeff and sanji protective of each other

And lastly??? All the regulars knowing??? Amazing, show stopping, ground breaking. Theyre coming to the baratie not seeing the cute waitress and when asked the staff says she has become a pirate cook of the strawhats

But whenever there's news its always talking about a guy and the wanted pictures are not so helpfull... So many possibility...

Have a nice day! Hope you had/have fun at your con :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed them! Fem!Sanji is fun to write, especially when no one knows she's a girl because how can you not know? She is Zeff's little girl! The dumb brat he gave up a leg for on a rock! She is his pride and joy, and everyone knows this!! Also, I love the idea of the burn mark and the confusion therein for Sanji because Chopper thinks she's trans masc when she's not, she's just waiting for her mom's genes to kick in more. Also the shipping, I agree with East Blue Polycule because you can fit all that in together in one go and no one is going ask questions. But I'm getting ahead of myself and skipping to the regulars first so that I can get some funny scenarios out of my head first.

First, Mihawk has watched this girl grow up and probably saw the fall out after shortly after Zeff butchered her hair. When he asked about it, he gave Zeff the most unimpressed look Zeff has ever received because good fuck he could have just braided it until they got into town? That's all he says about that because Sanji is still upset her hair is gone. Then some years later he's calling Zeff and asking when Sanji changed her gender and Zeff is confused because she hasn't but anyone and everyone are calling her a boy, even that crew she set off with. Mihawk is staring out of his office with the denden with an empty gaze as the greenhaired moron he almost slaughtered on the deck of Baratie is in his castle with one of his fellow warlords first mates and he's having a time but at least that hasn't changed.

Buggy is also probably really confused about 'Black Leg Sanji' and "his feats" and when Garp is arresting him they're debating whether or not Sanji would be a good marine until Garp calls her a boy and Buggy corrects him. Garp is staring down at the clown who looks back and is like 'wait, wait. Zeff's called her "princess" and you never questioned why he would call his son that?' to Garp's non-committal shrug of 'He's Zeff.' which, okay yeah, sure. It's Zeff but Zeff never used it in a derogatory manor. Sanji is quite literally his princess. She is the princess of the Baratie that Buggy used to do card tricks for because Zeff had no idea what the hell to do with kids.

Now onto the hilarity because East Blue Poly would be exceptionally hilarious. They all start dating and Sanji thinks Nami is going through a sexuality crisis because she's a girl where as Nami thinks Sanji's a boy and it's never cleared up. Sanji looks particularly butch because it made her life easier at Baratie, and she doesn't want to ruin dresses and skirts and blouses with cooking or blood. She also just never really wore make up unless Baratie was closed for some celebration or something, when she had a reason to doll up because she was so busy. Also she wakes up and goes to bed before and after everyone else so no one catches she's a girl. I think the hilarious exception of Ace clocking it in Alabasta and telling Luffy he's got the prettiest girl and the best cook wrapped in one is an amazing thing and Luffy goes with it but still asks why Ace called Sanji a girl and Ace is confused now. They never clear it up.

When Sanji is training and everyone is talking about forcing her into dresses Sanji is like 'I don't need to be forced, I love dresses! I just don't like ruining them with blood.' and coming back to Sabaody with a few dresses, skirts, blouses, more fem clothing and everyone is like 'you don't have to wear those if they make you uncomfortable' is sending some weird messages to her so she just doesn't wear them still. For the wrong reasons and everyone is confused. Like WCI when Sanji's in her wedding dress and fighting and mourning the blood on the dress and Luffy and Nami are asking her why she's in one because she doesn't wear that stuff and Sanji says she thought they didn't like them on her and the very quick explanation of 'we thought you were a boy!' is Sanji going 'How?' as Nami complains she had a sexuality crisis for nothing until Luffy asks about him, Zoro, and Usopp; Nami concedes that the crisis wasn't for nothing then.

Nami makes sure she's in a kimono like she and Robin are as an apology because they didn't realize that Sanji was a girl and was just dressing for convenience, she's not a boy and was a princess and she is loved.

Also my con was lovely but I'm so glad it's over.

[some-stars]

god this is so fucking funny, i'm trying to rewrite a sex scene i wrote several weeks ago where i tried to have Logan be dominant and toppy, because the first time when I wrote it in his POV it somehow wound up as anxious service topping. so i pulled out the dialogue and blocking and rebuilt it from Wade POV, but i only made it a couple paragraphs further before the dirty talk got derailed into logan saying mean shit about himself and wade being sternly nice to him.

wade wilson is literally the most overwhelmingly bottomy character i have ever encountered in my fucking life!! i would not have thought anyone could out-sexually-submissive this man?? but apparently you don't need to be more of a bottom, you just need to be less of a top. which i guess logan is. fuck my life.

(i don't feel this way at all when reading, to be clear; i require zero convincing to see either of them in almost any role if someone else is writing it. but this seems to be what my brain does when left to its own devices, and i am NOT happy about it, but it IS hilarious.)

[luvchrltts]

dating mondo owada headcanons !! (sfw + nsfw)

ship : mondo x reader 🫡

— warnings : breeding kink, dimensions and measurements of his dick 😭😭, cccccunnilingus, dominant mondo (most of the time ….), erm js sex in general FOR THE NSFW AREA . no warnings in the sfw :3

reader : female anatomy in nsfw areaaaa

SFW:

love language is spending time with u <3 he stands on BUSINESS when it comes to being with u no matter what it is

takes u to the gym and shows him his routine (REOWWW 😻😻)

lazy af when inside tho 🤷🏼‍♀️

he lets u borrow his jacket that’s like 5x bigger than u — forgot to say that he is most likely towering over u

not shy or anything but he genuienly forgets to show affection . he thinks of u as a best friend

reallllyyyyy comfortable with u but u’ll never ever catch him lacking

u love to play with his long hair after hes just showered and hasnt styled it yet

more loyal than anyone ever could be . he thinks having ONE partner is enough LET ALONE TWO . and also he just wouldnt choose to be a cheater he doesnt see the point and believes its tooo much effort

mondo doesnt tease a lot he’s just kind of sly

he finds it downright hilarious when u say something that sounds dirty and he gets to make a joke about it 😭😭. hes got smth wrong with him

would do anything to prevent u from breaking up with him. he’s already lost his brother let alone the lohl ☹️ give him a BREAKKKK

nsfw under the cut 🙈

NSFW:

he’s so loud omfg

wants u to sit on his face .

no joke he literally gets off even to the thought of eating u out …..

goes pussydrunk

he loves ass im sorry

as long as you have SOMETHING for him to grab onto no matter the size he’s satisfied

………….. thick dick

alr just hear me out on this

shaft #AD8484 tip #97575F — 8 inches long and 5 inches thick ………. it doesnt feel right writing this x

if he feels like shaving he will if he doesnt he wont ✌️ he doesnt care what u do with ur pubes as long as u dont care abt what he does with his

he wants to be gentle he really does but he cant bring himself to be sometimes

not necessarily kinky but he’ll do whatever the fuck u want 😇😇 as long as ur happy pookie !!!!

as i said at the start he’s very vocal.. literally pants like a dog 🙇🏼‍♀️

his voice breaks when he orrrrgasssmmmmssss

his stupid hair bounces up and down when he thrusts inside u 😭😭😭😭 i find myself VERY funny 🫡

hear me out . he wraps his arms around ur thighs to hold u still as ur laying down and eats u out 🙏

u cuuuummmmm on his weird ass hair sometimes and he gets pissed ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS A GOOD HAIR DAY

maybe just MAYBE would he let u take control . but only if its a birthday treat or smth as i said u’ll never catch him lacking like that

toys are useless in his opinion … why a fake cock when hes got a real one waiting for u with open arms 🤗

'attagirl’ 'take it like a champ’ 'doing so well f’me..’ ……. I MIGHT TEML A JOKE BUT I NEVER TELL A LIE

bbbbbreeeeedinnnngggg kink maybe …… as long as ur alr w it

would laugh recklessly if u ever mentioned piss or shit or anything like that (as he should. as he fucking should)

erm thats it i hope it was alr for my first thingy evaaa lolz 🫡

[grifff17]

Audiodrama Sunday 2/9/2025

Happy Audiodrama Sunday! So much good stuff this week. Ylelmore season finale, Courier's Call season premiere, a great reveal in Unend, and Lost Terminal is back!

NEW SHOW ALERT At the Bottom of the Garden - Interesting show, I’m not sure I’ve ever listened to an audiodrama quite like this. I’m still unclear how much of this show is fiction, which I think is by design.

@storiesfromylelmore - the hard cut from Elas’s drama to Keryth and Rion in complete chaos with the river monster was incredible. Loved the sneaky little post credit scene. A character in the universe of a podcast listening to the podcast is such a funny premise. I'm sad the season is done already, it feels like it just started.

@midstpodcast - Oh shit some remnants of the Trust are still around. Great worldbuilding in this episode. The naturalist is Tziela???? That's such a crazy thing to reveal so casually.

Skyjacks: Courier’s Call - The kids are back together! Kieran’s haircut being a reminder of Alba is actually heartbreaking. I'm curious to see what happens when June meets back up with her parents, they did not part on good terms.

@campaignskyjacks - Random thoughts as I continue to listen through this show: I love Captain Orimar but he’s truly terrifying. Gable is a fallen angel? The scars on their back are from their wings! I really want to learn more about the Church of the Slain God. It’s insane that Dref is the most normal of the PCs.

Starwhal: Odyssey - “Have you ever fucked a Hydra” is such a great hard ending to an episode. I'm so excited to see the Usegoni try to capture and transport a living Hydra.

Find Us Alive - back from the hiatus! I would absolutely attend Hole!. Building a scale model of the place you’re trapped in in Minecraft is hilarious. And holy shit they’ve made contact with the outside! I had theorized that the memetic effect somehow prevented the outside signal from coming through while Harley was in the room, but I guess not.

@lostterminalpod - Its back for a new season! What is this weird cyborg monster? This has become a comfort shot for me and it's so nice to be hearing from Seth again.

@breakerwhiskey - I finally caught up on last 2 listener messages and responses. It makes me want to submit one. I never got around to submitting a question to either of the fictional advice shows I listen to, though, so I doubt I ever will.

I'm realizing that I listened to 3 different One Shot Podcast Network shows this week. They just make exactly the style of APs that I enjoy: narrative heavy, rules light, collaborative, audio only, and not DnD.

[greml1nb0i]

Hi there! I just stumbled upon your cozy blog thanks to a post mentioning that Viv will be working on a new series. ^^"

If it's true, then I'm worried just how she might do a terrible job especially since writing doesn't seem to be her specialty (like she's giving me Mindy Kaling vibes). She even announced planning to work on several more seasons of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Shouldn't she at least finish both shows before even moving to other projects? 🤔

I also think in my opinion that she'd work best as a t-shirt graphic artist for Hot Topic 'coz most of her projects felt like a random showcase of her OCs from high school. They're also overly designed and her humor is rather too juvenile than hilarious.

Sorry for the ramble, I just like to share my thoughts out there.

Dont worry about rambling Anon, ive done my fair share and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

I agree on so many aspects of what you said.

Viv shouldnt be making anything new without finishing the already tanking series' she has. Hazbin is only going to get worse [as seen from the leaks] and Helluva is losing the most diehard of fans, attention. she's sinking her career quicker and quicker. She can't write, and even admits that herself several times. She steals from smaller artists, refuses to credit her artists and employees, is constantly into controversy after controversy, She cant grow up.

Its funny how you mention she gives a Mindy Vibe and i TOTALLY see it. Mindy went on a tirade about how people were shitting on Velma and Viv does the exact same thing, istg those 2 must be sharing a braincell.

Also yes the Hot Topic thing, i have my own 2 cents to put in there.

i swear this has a point to it just stick with me here. If it doesnt make sense to you im sorry, im not the greatest at explaining things.

I grew up in the early 2000s and 2010s, so Hot Topic and Spencer's were major hot spots for me, and lemme tell you. In those times, HT and Spencer's wouldve laughed at Viv for wanting to sell her cheap ass merch there. In fact, most merch sold there now, wouldnt have been, but ever since the big boom of indie creations; these stores ended up with different purposes.

HT never used to be a online merch store for indie creators, it used to be an actual punk store for punk and alt teens. Same with Spencer's but it was more for adults. You couldnt find things that werent punk or alt in regular stores thats why you'd go to HT or Spencer's.

Thats where youd get your AOT merch, Black Butler, Supernatural, Addams family, Jack Skellington, Band shirts like Korn, MCR, BVB, and Splitknot were sold there.

But now, its HH and HB merch. Fnaf, [im a fnaf fan before anyone comes for for that] and sparkle bs.

You cant find the punk merch you want, cuz its being switched out for Vivs bullshit and being buried in the back storages until they start having major sales to just get rid of it.

Now Spencer's' is being turned into the New HT, and HT is being turned into the kiddie emo version of Claires. its so fucking sad to watch.

My point to all this is.

Viv didnt need to sell her merch in HT.

HT doesnt need to be selling her merch to kids.

Viv shows are not made for kids, but yet she sells her merch at a teen based punk store.

HT doesnt need to be pandering to every indie creator that calls them to collab or sell their shitty 40$ t-shirts.

Viv doesnt need more money.

HT and Spencer's need to get their shit together before they go fucking bankrupt and we lose the only 2 punk-alt stores to exist physically.

Last i checked, BlackCraft Cult doesnt have an in person store.

[hijackalx]

GALE SFW HEADCANONS:

finally we got our lover boy here. its not a secret that he like gets super easily attached. i kind of hate that they patched that out bcz it fit his character so much. but yeah in my mind its canon he gets attached suppperrr easily also kind of the type of guy to love bomb tav. not in the manipulative way tho like he genuinely thinks hes in love.

he gives everything he has in relationships too like tav IS his everything. he can be pretty clingy but thats just cuz he loves them so much ❤️ ok yandere vibes hold on. not really but imagine.

the type of dude to draw pictures of him and tav holding hands in his diary (they are not drawn good) also definitely talks to himself a lot, or maybe to his cat (sometimes abt tav)

hands down the funniest mf at camp like hes the type thats just naturally funny he doesnt even try to be. its hard to take him serious sometimes bcz of it😭😭 he gets mad af about it too. like his funnyness is a blight on his existence he just wants to be taken seriously. also feel like he has the worst luck too like fucked up things always happen to him and thats also hilarious LMAO constantly has the camp in stitches

he has bad spatial awareness so hes always triggering traps and tav gets so mad 😹😹😹

love language:

giving= words of affirmation and quality time

always wants to be with tav. also loves to compliment them but he does it in his corny ass wizard way lol like in the most extra way possible. he cant just say "ur eyes look beautiful today" hes got to say some shit like "ur viewing orbs are looking most ravishing this eventide". i bet he would write poetry abt tav but he wouldnt give it to them bcz hes lowkey embarrassed 😔 like insecure in his ability not embarrassed by the action itself. he just wants to do tav justice and he doesnt think he can.

receiving= quality time

as long as tav wants to be with him too hes happy. he worries abt being too clingy so sometimes he'll distance himself and if tav closes that distance on their own itll make him so happy. like thats the best thing ever to him. to have somebody that wants to be in his presence and listen to him ramble.

i feel like gale is similar in height to astarion so like 5'11/6' hes probably closer to 5'11. like that is the most gale height to me. also hes a little thicker with some muscle. hes def got a lil belly 🤭❤️ his pecs are rlly smthng too like thats where most of his muscle goes. those look heavy let me carry them for u king 🤲🏻😼

GALE NSFW HEADCANONS:

A FREAKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAN IS A FREAK. WHAT was that shit in the sky ?????? THE FUCK ??? like he is THE MOST kinky mf here he will do almost anything. ONLY with ppl hes comfortable with tho. otherwise hes vanilla af. i honestly feel like hes mostly submissive tho just cuz hes chill like that. equally gives and receives. like straight up tav is his BABY he will do ANYTHING for them. probably introduced to most of his kinks thru tav (and mystra....... unfortunately.....)

loves to give head. like dear god. will beg tav to let him for real. hes very good at it too

incorporates sooo much magic. will make fake!gale fuck tav so he can watch. will use hot and cold magic and all that. electricity. the thunder stuff or whatever its called. literally anything u can think of to spice it up. he has thought of it. will also do freaky shit like using magic to mess with tav in public if u know what i mean

doesnt have a high body count i lowkey feel like mystra was his first. and he hasnt smashed anybody since. until tav.

exhibitionist AND humiliation kink. so these work hand in hand bcz like i said he doesnt do kinky shit with ppl hes not comfortable with so doing it where strangers might see is ultimate humiliation for him. but also likes to humiliate tav with it too.

will say a lot of nasty shit. this i feel he doesnt go super overboard with but its nasty compared to how he usually is. mostly when hes begging.

im gonna say gale has a solid 5 on him. and hes got hair i feel like most of the companions do but it works rlly good on gale lol. like hes got a happy trail and everything 🤤 nice hairy armpits too so u know hes got that manly ass MUSKK 💦💦💦 anyway i think his pp is pretty straight. like a wand lol. its a pretty normal pp.

aftercare with gale is the best yo like he makes sure tav is taken care of first and then cleans up on his own unless tav offers which he usually tells them to rest lol. hes just so sweet.

[yellowocaballero]

One of the many things that I've been doing instead of writing are these damn manwha binges and Villain To Kill is literally so funny. The comic premise is straightforward action, think Tokyo Ghoul meets Solo Leveling - local Genetically Superpowered Superhero Cop working for corrupt Hero Organization gets #betrayed and #murdered and is reincarnated into the body of a Genetically Superpowered Villain Teenager so now he has to join up with all the other villain superpower people to get justice.

It's so 5/10. Cassian is extremely OP and the story isn't well-written enough to pull that off well. The worldbuilding is so incredibly nonsensical and weak that it falls apart if you think about it for more than five minutes (tried to write fic for it and failed because I would have had to rework the entire world - which, I could have, but that's a lot of effort for Villain to Kill). The plot is mostly any OP action hero plot where guy gets increasingly powerful by fighting increasingly powerful guys. Cassian himself has almost nothing going on internally, to the point of elegance. And it is somehow the gayest manwha I've ever read.

It's the fucking character designs. And like its narrative but it's the fucking 100/10 character designs. The entire cast's design and characters slam. There's not that much depth but we don't care. You know if we don't like somebody if they look vaguely straight, and you know that we like somebody if they look like they were set to tumble dry in the queerness washing machine. The (great!) women are high femme or hard butch. The corrupt institution assassinated a man Cassian loved and framed & murdered him, at which point he was adopted by a rag-tag bunch of flamboyant homosexuals deemed unacceptable and undesired by society who all teamed up and decided to villainize society in exclusively funny ways and spend most of their time gossiping or hacking the Pentagon. An AFAB character dresses as a man and goes by he/him pronouns half the time for no good reason. Cassian is physiologically incapable of thinking about anything but violence so the heartwarming found family scenario's going over his head, but his Painfully Het Hero Foil Indoctrinated Into Homophobia caught the found family ball and now he's dancing in their gay bars and dressing in drag. There's only a few characters who are explicitly gay but this is gayer than that.

I talked a while back about how important a decent supporting cast is to a good story, and this is yet again good proof. Looking at this, I think I'd go further and say - it's an action manwha, we're reading it for a reason, we don't need character-driven story arcs or really complex characters. I think it's just charisma. A story can go really far on characters with charisma.

TV Shows that are carried on the lead actor (Columbo I love you) - it's because the actor has charisma. You watch it to see the actor hang out being himself. That's way way harder to do in fiction, but I think that "a complex character" isn't necessarily a "charismatic character". I'd rather have a cast of only charismatic characters rather than only complex ones. A story of any genre needs a strong cast of charismatic characters. They can be deep or they can just be chaotic lesbians. Charisma invests the reader in the story and the characters. It's simple but it's really powerful. And it is fucking hilarious how sometimes all you need to do on that front is "Rupaul this shit".

I can't genuinely recommend Villain to Kill and this is not a recommendation. But random stuff always interests me like this, and I really had no idea that I would read 120ch of a manwha bc the designs fuck so hard. Also, like, this is queerest manwha I've ever read. Somehow. Fucking somehow.

[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

FINALLY caught up on TV shows I follow and watched new ones I’ve been meaning to check out…

Only Murders in the Building, season 4 (Hulu) – a perfect blend of crime, mystery, comedy, and heart: this is a certified comfort show. I don’t know how it keeps managing to expand the universe of such a niche podcast, but four seasons in, it’s still at it. And it doesn’t feel like a hasty expansion—something created out of popularity and demand—because all this time it’s actually been laying the ground for a much bigger arc. Steve Martin and Martin Short together are comedic gold—that’s a given; but Meryl Streep and Martin Short?? That’s an on-screen and off-screen pairing I didn’t know I needed.

Disclaimer* (Apple TV+) – this one’s difficult to discuss without spoilers but all you really need to know is it’s a psychological thriller written and directed by Alfonso Cuarón with Cate Blanchett at the helm. Parts of it feel clunky, with decisions made to force a narrative and serve a specific number of episodes, but if you can suspend your disbelief for that, it’s a meaty watch—heavy and triggering but also has you looking inwards and questioning your own prejudices. There is a gut punch of a line in the finale that will haunt you for the rest of your days, but it is worth watching the entire miniseries for.

Nobody Wants This, season 1 (Netflix) – here’s where they’re wrong: EVERYBODY WANTS THIS… everyone who was a teenager around 2005, anyway. My teen idol, Veronica Mars, with my teen crush, Seth Cohen, in a television rom-com?? 17-year-old me would have imploded from sheer joy and jealousy. Apparently, this isn’t the first time Kristen Bell and Adam Brody have played romantic partners, but since I didn’t reach the fifth season of House of Lies, this is the first time I’m seeing them together. And they are as adorable and as sexy together as you would expect them to be. The biggest surprise was how sharp the script is—this breed of rom-com is rare in this day and age.

The Franchise, season 1 (HBO Max) – this is a satirical comedy that pulls the curtain on the crazy shit a film crew—if they’re as unlucky as the Tecto team—has to put up with in the making of a superhero franchise. Would I have watched this if Daniel Brühl wasn’t in it? Maybe not. But I wouldn’t keep watching it if it wasn’t worthwhile. Created by the people behind Veep and Succession, it’s wickedly funny in a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of way. So, yeah, best watched with subtitles on.

Slow Horses, season 4 (Apple TV+) – in some ways this is your typical British spy thriller that has nail-biting action, an unexpected mole, and a tragic death but, in many ways, it isn’t. The spies are losers who aren’t easy to root for, but against all odds, they somehow always save the day. It’s ridiculous and brilliant and hilarious and I love it so much. On its fourth season, it proves that it still has much to offer—might be its strongest yet—with little seeds they’ve planted early on finally bearing fruit. Easily the most underrated show on this list.

The Day of the Jackal, season 1 (Peacock) – you know that episode in The Office (US) where they’re debating if Hilary Swank is hot or not? I had a similar one in my mind the entire time watching this—but with Eddie Redmayne on stand. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always liked him, I think he’s a phenomenal actor, but the most I would have ever described him was cute. This role had me seeing him in a whole new light though—not too different from when Benedict Cumberbatch took on the role of Sherlock. I don’t know if they’ve cast the new 007 yet but this could be the audition tape that puts him in the running. He’s SO GOOD that it’s easy to forget you're rooting for the villain. Redmayne’s Jackal has the steely precision of Jason Bourne, the disguises of Ethan Hunt minus the camp, and the sharp fashion and globetrotting lifestyle of a young and contemporary James Bond—what’s not to like? And, fuck yes, he’s hot.