#IT REALLY DOES SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND SPECIAL

[screamlet]

08x06 fix-it fic: break and be mended

not connected to that excerpt i posted before, just something completely different. 4.5k, read on the ao3

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Another hospital room. Buck takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again, letting it out and hoping he gets back to sleep. It doesn't happen, though, because his brain catches up to his eyes:

Maddie, wearing a yellow paper hospital mask, a hand anxiously on her belly, sitting in the chair next to him with that too-familiar oh-thank-god-you're-finally-awake face… and Tommy leaning in the doorway.

He takes another deep breath and opens his eyes again.

"You're okay," Maddie says patiently, slowly, as Buck tries to slam the door shut or set the doorway on fire with his brain. "It's just the turkey flu, it hit you hard."

That breaks Buck's concentration. "Wait, is this a dream? Another coma dream? Turkey flu has to be something I made up."

Maddie raises her eyebrows and looks over her shoulder at Tommy before turning back to Buck. "Another one?"

"No, no, don't look at him," Buck interrupts. "He's not supposed to be here, not when I have turkey flu, not ever. He broke up with me, remember?"

In the doorway, Tommy shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He's wearing the dark blue LAFD t-shirt and pleated pants, a special Air Ops patch on his shirt sleeve. They always lurked under his flight suit, under his turnouts when they were on the same scene, but Buck didn't get to see them often. It was for the best, he thinks now, because the shirt fits perfectly across Tommy's chest and shoulders, the pants belted low. His shirt is tucked in better than Buck's ever is. He almost never got to see him like this so it feels like some new Tommy he's seeing, a Tommy that hangs around Harbor long enough to take off his flight suit but doesn't peel the rest of his work self off. He doesn't get off his shift, put the pilot away, shower and go home.

Buck looks away. He's looked too long.

"I'm actually here, you know." Tommy raps his knuckles on the door like that's proof of anything except a very strong poltergeist. "I can hear you."

Buck watches something that he hasn't seen in years sweep across Maddie's face (mostly her eyebrows, because of the mask).

She turns around and snaps, "I let you come within ten feet of my brother and you think bitchy fun Tommy was invited, too? He was not." Tommy looks shocked and abashed; Buck loves her so much.

"Why was he invited at all, Maddie?" Buck asks. "And you're both real, right? Like I'm not hallucinating both of you. Is that a turkey flu symptom? Can I have my phone? I need to look up turkey flu."

"It's a strain of avian flu, you just happened to get it from a turkey farm. Hen said you had a call to one of those last week," Maddie explains. "And you kept giggling when I said the words turkey flu so, you know, why not?"

"It's pretty funny," Buck admits. "Hey, why's he here?"

Maddie turns around and looks at Tommy expectantly. Buck still knows his face, still knows him, and can see the quip that wants to escape past his lips. He can see the work it takes to hold it back and look sincere, really sincere, for them.

"You collapsed at a scene and I flew you over," Tommy says. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Buck stares at him as he presses his lips into a fine line. "I'm okay. Thanks."

Tommy nods, then asks, "Can we talk? Alone?"

It's taken four months, almost as long as they were together, but Buck's finally hearing the words he's wanted to hear since Tommy walked out his door. I'm sorry, I was scared, I love you, yes let's take the next step together, from now on let's take every step together—that was Buck's first choice. Can we talk as a jumping off point for all those other things—that was Buck's second choice. Was.

Buck glances at Maddie and knows his face does something dumb. "I'll be outside," Maddie says. "And I'm not far, if you want me to throw him out." She looks over her shoulder at Tommy. "I'll do it."

Tommy nods. "Wouldn't doubt you for a second."

She squeezes Buck's hand and lingers for a beat, one long look at him like she's waiting for him to say actually, wait, don't, stay, but he doesn't. He hates that he doesn't. He hates that he wants to hear what Tommy has to say.

She and Tommy swap places; he takes the chair next to Buck's bed and she leaves, shutting the door behind her. Tommy doesn't see the way she passes by the window like a shark, watching, but Buck laughs. When Tommy looks back, she's gone.

"Your sister's changed a little," Tommy says casually. "Her sense of humor, I mean."

Buck licks his lips. "Yeah, well, when you were my boyfriend, you were her friend. Now you're neither."

"Yep, got it," Tommy says. He sits back in the chair, but looks so uncomfortable that someone would think he'd never sat in one before.

"Are you okay?" Buck asks. "Why are you here?"

"This chair is so weird."

"Tommy, what do you want to talk about?"

It startles Tommy, and it should. He only got soft and smitten, totally-in-love (even if he couldn't admit it out loud) Evan Buckley, cute and bratty Evan Buckley. He doesn't get that Evan anymore. No one has.

Tommy sits with his feet flat on the floor and his hands folded in his lap. He takes a minute, a long minute, of staring at the floor before he looks up and stares at Buck. "You asked me to move in with you."

Buck blinks. "I did."

"You asked me to move in with you."

"You said that. I mean, I said that, but you—"

"Evan," Tommy interrupts.

"I thought I was Buck now," Buck interrupts.

Bitchiness lurks on Tommy's tongue, but he holds it back. "You asked me to move in with you. Into the loft."

Buck tilts his head. "Yeah?"

Tommy shuts his eyes hard and shakes his head before he looks at Buck again. "Evan, I own a house."

"... okay?"

"Did you ask me to move in with you and expect me to give up my house?"

"What, no—" Buck says, then stops himself. "I don't—I didn't think—"

"Did you even think about that?" Tommy asks. "Like when you talked about moving in together, getting married, the future, all of that—did you even remember that I own a house?"

"You know," Buck interrupts. "Four months ago, you could have said, haha, wow, that's moving pretty fast, also I own a house, maybe when we're ready, we could move into MY HOUSE and make it OUR HOUSE, but you needed to run out the door so why would you say any of that?"

"Yeah! I was freaked out! Because here was this guy I—this guy I really liked, and he asked me, a 40-year-old man, to move into his loft?"

"What's wrong with it? Why do you keep saying it like that?"

"It's downtown! Downtown is loud and filthy and did I mention it's noisy? It was hell sleeping there in the summer because even with your central air, heat rises and it rises right into the bedroom. I saw your electric bill, Evan, it was unforgivable."

Buck wants to throw something at him. "And we could have been at your house, quiet and with better temperature control, but we weren't because…?"

"I'm just saying," Tommy continues. "Yeah, all that's true, but I realized you wanted me, wanted a future with me, and you didn't even remember that when I wasn't working or with you, I was at my house."

"I get that," Buck says. "Now how many times did we hang out at your house?"

Tommy sighs. "It's out of the way, your place was always closer to the 118 and to Harbor, and I kept—I was going to, okay? Like maybe after our anniversary, we'd take a week off together and we'd actually be at my house, or take a trip somewhere—"

"You got me basketball tickets," Buck snipes at him.

Tommy stops completely.

"For our six month anniversary, remember?"

"How the hell am I going to forget that?"

"You got me tickets to see the Lakers. Really good tickets."

Tommy rolls his eyes. "Alright, well, that's the last time I call that guy I know in the press office for anything."

Buck thinks he's getting closer to setting something on fire with his mind. "I hate basketball."

Tommy stares at him. "What the hell are you talking about? We met because of basketball."

Buck sits up so quickly and angrily he starts wheezing and that turns into a coughing fit. Tommy's immediately there, sitting on the edge of his bed with water, getting him to take a small sip as he rubs his back. When Buck realizes what's happening, he covers his mouth with his blanket and shoves Tommy away, coughing even more.

"Sorry, I was just—"

"I have turkey flu!" Buck yells through the blanket covering his mouth.

"The doctor said you're not contagious anymore."

Buck points at a small paper box across the room. Tommy, so put-upon, grabs a pale yellow mask and slips it on before he sits in the chair again. "Sorry."

"It's—" Buck halts because Tommy had grabbed two masks and was holding one out to him expectantly. Tommy motions to it again and Buck can see how he wants to make a bitchy comment about not having this conversation through a hospital blanket, but he doesn't. That's what makes Buck reach out and put the mask on. The icy fist around his heart thinks about melting.

"We didn't meet because of basketball, we met because of Bobby and Athena and the cruise ship," Buck corrects. "I wanted to see you again after that tour at Harbor but I couldn't think of another reason—"

"I gave you the widest of openings," Tommy interrupts. "Hello? Flight lessons? When you finally offered to buy me a beer, I almost dropped to my knees right then and there."

"But you never called me! You're the one who left to hang out with Eddie!"

Tommy throws up his hands. "Ball was in your court! Speaking of basketball."

Buck sighs, exasperated. "We weren't, like, running into each other, I didn't have a reason to call you—don't say the beer—so finally I saw Eddie was going to that pick-up game with you and I dragged Chimney along."

"Right," Tommy says. "And you played basketball with us. We kicked your ass in a way that made me think you were pretending to be bad at it to make me feel good or something? And then there was the whole thing with Eddie's ankle."

"I hate basketball!"

"You brought your own ball!"

"I same-day ordered a basketball so that when I showed up you'd be like, wow, that guy's ready for basketball, what a cool guy!"

"So you're mad that your basketball ruse worked on my dumb ass, and worked so well for six months that I got you Lakers tickets for our anniversary."

Buck's so annoyed that he put it like that. Maybe that's true, but he didn't have to say it. "I don't like basketball! It was a ruse but I didn't hide it after. You watched games with Eddie and I never came along because I don't like basketball."

"You said you wanted us to have our Eddie-Tommy friend time!"

"Why do you make me sound and feel like a five-year-old? Eddie-Tommy friend time? Seriously?"

Tommy folds his hands together like he's in prayer and shuts his eyes. "Okay, listen, I just. I wanted to get the house thing off my chest, alright? Because it's—it's bothered me so much."

Buck could argue about the basketball thing for about another 500 years, except that Tommy has said what he said. "Has it?"

Tommy puts his hands in his lap again, folded politely as he looks at Buck. "I meant what I said. You were so swept away in how new and exciting everything felt, that I felt like you forgot who you were talking to. Like… I'm not a guy who's going to move in with you. I'm a guy who has a house with a home gym and a car lift, and—and the winter was so mild that I put in this little patio space in the backyard. I bought furniture for it. I took this corner of my front lawn, too, and started to plan a pollinator's garden because they sounded really interesting after those three days of bee hell. Evan, I have a house."

"You keep saying that," Buck says. His ears are burning, but he's listening too intently to feel embarrassed about it (much).

"I freaked out, alright? Because I heard: give up your house to live in this downtown loft with a couch that has a faded but GIANT blood and placenta stain on the other side of the cushion, and then the words engaged and married got thrown in there, too? All in the same breath?"

Buck stares flatly, then nods. "Yeah. I get it. Sorry." He clears his throat and grabs his water before Tommy can offer it to him. He takes a sip, looking at Tommy before he nods at the closed door. "Are we done here?"

"And I'm not a gay rights hero," Tommy adds. "You said that, too." Tommy looks away, and looks so miserable. "I'm just a guy, Evan. I've been burned before by younger guys who thought I was everything that their first gay boyfriend should be, and then—and they didn't see who I was. It's always—" Tommy holds out his hands like he's balancing scales. "Not straight enough to fake a life with a woman, not gay enough to have a real life with a man."

Buck hasn't done this in so long that his throat almost aches with it. He sighs, pained and breathless, the word crinkling against the mask: "Tommy." He swallows again and asks, "Did you really think that was me?"

Another long pause. It ends with Tommy saying, "I thought you were too good to be true."

"I'm not, though, I'm—I'm just me," Buck says. "And I did have a lot to figure out, but not about you."

Tommy laughs suddenly. "Really? Because you forgot I was a homeowner and I didn't know you hated basketball. Did you even go to that game?"

Buck coughs. "I gave the tickets to Karen and she took one of her brothers. They're nuts about the Lakers."

"Huh," Tommy says. "Well. I'm not mad about that."

The two of them are quiet until Buck says, "Seems there's a lot of things we don't know about each other."

Tommy glances at him; Buck can see the shape of his smirk beneath the mask, and the very specific way it makes his eyes crinkle. "And just when we thought we knew everything about each other."

"Yeah, I thought that, too, and then you dropped that you were engaged to my first serious girlfriend at our six month anniversary dinner." Buck raises his eyebrows. "Do you land helicopters that smoothly, too?"

"I got you here, didn't I?" Tommy bites back, then catches himself with a laugh. "Okay. Fair point."

It's so easy, it's so easy, it's so easy, it's so easy and Buck hasn't had it easy for months. He hasn't had these quips, this back-and-forth, this person who got him until he didn't, who—Buck rubs at his eyes. Tommy made it easy. He made everything easy. Not perfect, not effortless, but easy. Easier.

"So, uh." Buck fusses with the blanket in his lap. "What have you been doing for the past four months? You, uh…"

"Am I seeing anyone?" Buck nods. "I was, yeah. Didn't last that long."

Buck can't help himself: "Neither did we."

"Ouch." Tommy looks back. "And you?"

"Yeah," Buck says. "I liked them but I broke up with them because it just—it wasn't going anywhere."

"And what's wrong with that? Staying in one place? Isn't that what you wanted for us?"

It's not, but Buck can't articulate it, so he says, "Do you think that's the same?"

A beat, and then Tommy says: "No. No, I don't."

"Tommy," Buck says quietly. "How many people do I have to be with before you decide I've figured it out?"

Tommy's eyes widen. "What? I never said that."

"Tell me what you said, then." Buck swallows painfully, that turkey flu kicking his ass harder than he thought. "Tell me what you meant when you said I didn't know what I wanted. Because I told you what I wanted. I told you I was ready for something and all the things we did together, I thought that you believed me. I guess you didn't, so tell me how many bodies it'll take before you believe me."

Tommy doesn't say anything.

"God, and you know what really sucks?" Buck asks. "That we were together long enough to talk about who we'd been with so we could get tested and be safe. We talked about all that, but I never told you how many times I'd had my heart broken and you never told me yours."

"Three," Tommy eventually says. "Shawn, who was like… all of 25. He was all-in, knowing for sure that the first time was the charm, and I was old enough and steady enough to be That Guy. I believed the hype even though I was barely out of the closet. I shouldn't throw stones at Abby's House of Himbos when I set up my own on the other side of town. And then there was Raúl, my Army buddy who came out to his family and immediately moved to LA to get away from them. Everything felt like a fresh start for him, but… not quite for me."

Buck thinks to ask, but Tommy beats him to it. "Do I need to say the third?" Buck shakes his head. "What about you?"

"Abby, and you." Buck looks at Tommy as he says, "It's not just ending things with someone because it doesn't work. It's heart break. Something's gotta break and be mended."

"I don't think I did that part. You've one-upped me there."

Buck wouldn't have believed that 20 minutes ago, but he believes it now.

"So Bobby's been there, watched me since I was Abby's himbo and helped me to grow into the person who wanted that stuff with you. Once he, kinda, told me that if I care about how people see me, then I haven't learned a damn thing," Buck says. "And that is and isn't true, here. I can't live hoping I meet people's expectations of what they think I should be. I want people—I wanted you—to see me as I am. I thought you did but you didn't, and I didn't either because I didn't see how scared you were. I've made my peace with that. We had something really special and made each other feel really good but, in the end, I guess we were saying all the right things to people we didn't know."

Tommy listens, considers, and nods. "Whole lot of past tense, there."

Buck glances at him and doesn't want to look away, but he does. He doesn't meet Tommy's eyes. He's scared, too. He's done enough today: said a lot of things he's been thinking about for four months and said them very calmly and thoughtfully, but this is gonna hurt. It hurt Buck to realize it and it's gonna hurt Tommy to hear it.

"You got what you wanted, right?" Buck asks. "You got to keep your heart, and I don't feel new and excited anymore." Buck inhales deep; it hurts. "I feel like I did before, like I'm short one piece of being whole. Now the ocean I have to search is so much wider and deeper. So thanks for that, I guess."

"Evan—"

"I let you into my family," Buck interrupts sharply. "Because I cared about you and because you fit. I fit because they're mine and that's my family I made, and you fit there right next to me. With us."

"You're absolutely right."

Buck watches him, tries to see behind the sunshine yellow and white mask on his face, but all he sees are his eyes that, like always, make Buck feel too much, like laser beams disintegrating him.

"Were you really that scared?" Buck can't help the way his voice cracks. "You were that scared of me?"

Tommy looks up again, lasers in place. "I was that in love with you." He shakes his head like he did that last night in the kitchen, and looks up like he'll tip the tears back into his eyes. "And those heartbreaks—you'd leave them light-years behind if I let you. You'd leave me light-years behind."

Buck nods, then says, "Could you leave, please." His wet breathing crinkles grossly in the mask. "Thanks for telling me all this, thanks for the closure, but I don't need to see what someone looks like after they've walked away from me."

"You collapsed at a scene three days ago and I was the closest pilot to medevac you here," Tommy says slowly. "You were delirious and told Shreya, Don't tell Tommy I'm sick, he doesn't care anymore."

Tommy clears his throat. "I do care. I never stopped."

Buck sits back in his hospital bed and pulls the blanket up to his neck, the only comfort he's got right now. "If this is a turkey flu dream, I'm gonna be so pissed at you, real you," Buck says.

Tommy laughs quietly, sadly, then hesitates for a moment. "Can I ask you something? Can I ask you the scariest thing I've ever asked anyone in my entire life?"

Buck doesn't move, doesn't breathe. "What is it?" he finally asks.

"Will you give me a second chance?"

Buck, hearing what he's quietly dreamed of hearing for four months, doesn't feel the euphoria he thought he would. He feels something else, though: a strange kind of wonder that someone wants him again. Again. He swallows hard, feeling the pain right in his turkey-flu-ridden throat. Someone knew him. Someone left him. Someone came back—came back for him.

Tommy left. Tommy came back. Tommy wanted him then. Tommy wants him now. Tommy's wanted him all along.           

Buck asks, "Will you invite me to your place more than once every six months?"

Tommy's half-smile is still wide enough for Buck to see behind the mask. It falls, though, back into something serious. "Will you forgive me when I'm not a paragon of queer virtue?"

"Will you believe me when I tell you I've fucked around and found out enough for a lifetime?"

Tommy raises his eyebrows ever so slightly. "Will you believe me when I tell you I've fucked around and found out enough for a lifetime?"

Buck thinks he smiles a little behind his mask, but it doesn't stay. "Are we gonna break up again?"

"I don't know," Tommy admits. "But maybe next time we can stop each other and hit the brakes. I love romcoms, but maybe we don't do that again: you don't propose fixing a problem with marriage and a baby, and I won't run out the door."

Buck raises his eyebrows, too. "Who said anything about a baby?"

Tommy sputters. "I mean, you were the one raising the stakes before."

Buck laughs. "Right, right."

The quiet stretches out between them. They look at each other and don't look away. The stubborn, proud, cocky side of Buck feels annoyed that this feels like—like he can't get out of this. Like all roads lead back to Tommy, like he doesn't have a choice. Like if he wants to be happy, it's with this person.

A part of him wants to run and throw himself into the hunt again. He wants to thrive in the search for someone who makes him feel that euphoria and fondness and love that he felt with Tommy. He tries to imagine someone else, some vague smoky figure that isn't Tommy's height, Tommy's build, Tommy's arms crossed over his chest and that tilt of his head. The problem is that Buck feels more looking at that furrow and arch of his eyebrows than he's felt for anyone he's met in the past four months, maybe even longer.

Not all roads lead to Tommy—only the ones he wants to take.

"Say it again?" Buck asks.

Tommy nods ever so slightly. "I'm in love with you." He pauses and a smile reaches his eyes. "I love you."

Buck can't help the way his eyes water; neither can Tommy.

"Ask me again," Buck says.

"Will you give me a second chance?"

"Yeah." Buck wonders if his own smile reaches his eyes. He hopes it does. "Yeah. Will you?"

Tommy chokes out a laugh behind his mask. "Yeah, god, of course. Of course. You sure?"

"About you?" Buck asks. "Yeah. I mean, I want to be. Don't make me regret it."

"Don't make me give up my real estate."

"Don't make me go to any sports events."

"Seriously? Not even baseball?"

"God," Buck moans. "The sleepiest one of all."

"Hockey's good."

"You hate the Kings."

Tommy scoffs. "Of course I do. You always hate your local teams—you just hate visiting teams more. Can't let management get comfortable."

Buck attempts to take a deep, exasperated breath, but he forgets that he has the fucking turkey flu. He chokes and starts to cough and wheeze, but Tommy's there again. He freely, lovingly pushes Buck further to the other side of the hospital bed so he can sit and take care of him: water, tissues, hand on his chest to steady him, eyes worried and on him.

"It's not official until you kiss me," Buck says. "I'm not contagious."

"I mean, not with turkey flu," Tommy says. "Your Buckness? That I'm not so sure."

"Don't call me that anymore," Buck says.

Tommy puts his cup of water on the table next to Buck's bed, then shifts so he and Buck are closer, face-to-face, head on looking at each other. "How'd you get even brattier in only four months?"

"How'd you forget I was this bratty?"

"At my age, well, everything's starting to go."

Buck laughs, then coughs and wheezes. "Stop making me laugh."

"How'd you forget I was this funny?"

Buck tilts his head. "I didn't. I didn't forget a thing."

Tommy searches his face, then cups his jaw with one hand. Buck doesn't lean into it, just lets Tommy hold him as he tips Buck's chin up ever so slightly.

Then Tommy kisses his forehead and his birthmark, and wraps his arms around Buck. It's the warmest Buck has felt all winter. It finally feels like spring.

---

read on the ao3

[seraph5]

Now that I've listened to Re: Dracula I feel like I've been weirdly spoiled for a lot of other Draculas. Like don't get me wrong there's a lot of Dracula's out there to like but there was something really beguiling about:

a) Mina and Lucy's quite modern musings about their place in the world, the beginnings of wonderings about what they might like or could like as people not just as what society demands

b) Mina and Lucy's relationship. I just adore that they are surprisingly different characters and interact in a very realistic interesting way that you don't see a lot in media that depicts this time period. I also love how intelligent Mina is.

c) The absolute intensity of the bond and duty our heroes find themselves drawn into when put in this horrific situation. It really surprised and struck me the way that all these people with not extremely deep connections in a lot of cases closed ranks together in a silent fight to protect not just themselves but to break the cycle of evil. They, all of them, really showed a tremendous amount of care and kindness towards each other in this insane mission. Obviously it would have been nice if the boys had been less dumb about including Mina in things but their follies in that area were clearly a result of the time they lived in and not a fundamental personal lack of respect for mina.

d) I know everyone does not see this interpretation but I like that there is a quasi-homoeric undertone to Dracula and Johnathan's whole thing. Of course Johnathan is there under duress and I'm certainly not saying that there is something consensual or reciprocal going on but Dracula being so possessive of him especially with the brides gives an interesting undertone to some of the earlier parts of the book. There is a real sort of fascination Dracula seems to have for him as a conduit for information about his next conquest and he really tries to connect with him through the guise of society.

I haven't really ever seen all these points illustrated very strongly in other retellings or if it's there it doesn't communicate that feeling that makes these missed points so special. Worse it seems like a lot of the time they make really weird choices like merging characters or swapping characters or cutting characters for brevity or excitement. Which on one hand I kind of understand but when given the space the characters all have their own interesting points and perspectives and are interesting to experience.

I'd love to see a retelling that balanced all these things a little more and cut less. Maybe even have it be a mini series rather than a movie.

[undeadentropy]

The trick is to watch these things like a hawk. This recipe actually does work, since peanut butter acts as your flour and your oil all at once. Egg is leavening, and sugar is sugar. That's a cookie. It's really pure and good, no need to make it complicated. But the difference between raw, cooked, and burnt is about 3 minutes total. Follow both the time and your nose, it's pretty precise. Oh, and you can spice it up too with cocoa or whatever. But this cookie base stands on its own and works every time. I know it by heart. I love you too. Enjoy cookies in their primal form. Something cobbled together as a special treat from things you likely have lying around. Oh, and now your house smells good too. :)

Want to bake delicious Peanut Butter cookies but aren’t good in the kitchen/don’t have flour?

SO DID I

B Dylan Hollis’s Magic Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup peanut butter

1/2 cup sugar

1 egg

Preheat oven to 350

Mix

Make cookie shapes or whatever

Bake for 10 minutes

Boom. You got cookies. Enjoy. I love you.

[tesseractingrey]

After seeing TIT in Philly, I’ve been pondering on the power of “light entertainment,” as Phil defines it, and why we all watch Dan and Phil. It’s one of the main messages of the show, and so maybe this is all obvious to everyone else, but I would like to yap more on the subject and so I will.

They explore in the show if they should be doing what other content creators do and come to the conclusion that no, that doesn’t work for them. And through their solo monologues they reveal that they aren’t really looking to grow significantly and have mainstream appeal, they really just are happy with us and where they’re at. Their content sometimes is quite funny and as much as we enjoy seeing the parts of the relationship that they want to show us, it’s so much less about whether the truth of their relationship is what we Want it to be or not and more about the fact that they feel comfortable sharing any amount of truth with us. We enjoy their relationship not because we want them to be any sort of way, but because they are happy and that happiness fills their videos these days. Their content is safe and happy, it’s that “warm feeling inside,” and the community they’ve cultivated is the same.

Something we teachers talk about sometimes is who has That Thing. There’s some indefinable Thing that some teachers have and some don’t. When you have it, kids just naturally listen better and trust you quicker and form stronger relationships with you. It sounds crazy spelled out like that, but I know some very experienced and smart teachers who don't have That Thing, and see how kids behave with them versus with a teacher who does, and the difference is palpable, if logically inexplicable.

Whatever That Thing is, Dan and Phil have it for content creation. There's something magnetic about them that draws us in and makes us feel warm and safe and we've built an amazing community together around that. I think That Thing is part of why they are where they are where they are, even though their content is mainly just gay banter with some light gaming mixed in these days. It’s not a perverse and invasive fascination with their personal lives that draws us to them, it’s just them, as they truly are, that makes their content special. As much as we do enjoy seeing their relationship, it’s more in a “providing enrichment in our enclosure” way than a “this is what drew me in and the only reason I’m here” type thing, especially these days. I love their love, but I love their happiness even more.

I’m glad that they are so happy and comfortable now with their lives and continuing to make content, because I look forward to continuing to watch it, in whatever form it may take. I don’t know how I ever lived without this warm feeling inside, and I hope to keep enjoying it for a while. It’s light entertainment and there IS value in that, not everything has to be insanely deep or emotionally devastating to be worthy of our love, but it’s not JUST light entertainment, it matters that They are the ones doing the entertaining. Maybe it’s just parasociality, but I do think we’ve got something special here, and I think they’re something special.

[suffarustuffaru]

Genuine question do you think there's a chance that Julius could be into Subaru? Because I only really hear about Subaru being into Julius when it comes to Juilsuba

(no arc 5+ spoilers in this post)

short answer: yes, i think there’s a chance. a pretty good chance. but whether you want to interpret julius as being Romantically into subaru is up to you. however theres no denying that subaru is special to julius and that julius Loves this guy.

long answer: so i will give the following disclaimer to this, which is that i can only really speak for my own interpretations of the text. for this ask i talked a bit with a few different mutuals about this (bc while i really enjoy julius and julisuba A Lot i wouldnt consider myself an Expert so—peer reviewing it is :3) but—yes im speaking for my opinions here, so in general i recommend looking over the text/media yourself to see what you think too 👍👍

and i think in general like. i wish we saw more subaru ships from the non-subaru lens of it!! :o speaking as someone whos made shippy content from both subarus pov and the other pov, while im not perfect with it either, i just think that it’s always important to get that other pov. and sometimes its kind of a forgotten part !! :< i just think its interesting 1. seeing someone fall in love from subaru, 2. getting that outside pov of subaru, and 3. it makes the dynamic truly equal to focus on the other side of it too 👍 i dont have a lot of julisuba content atm (this will change eventually) but in the past ive rambled a bit about julius’s side of julisuba in one of my….. bdsm……………… posts :3 but anyway ill summarize what i think is going on with julius’s side here:

for julius, his prim and proper knightly persona is pretty like. i get the vibe that hes really Cultivated himself into this over time, especially bc he wasnt involved with nobility until his parents died and his uncle took him in and joshua started trying to shape julius too into what he is now. julius used to be a bit of delinquent (dont know How delinquent he was exactly but just that he was) and of course theres a big switch into julius learning noble and knightly ways and norms, julius trying to keep that armor around his heart, according to subaru. it’s learned behavior and now he struggles a little taking it off. being a knight is entrenched into julius’s familial and personal values, and julius Always strives for perfection. julius seems so put together that we kinda forget he too has his flaws but similar to subaru, he can be a bit pushy, a bit oblivious, a bit reckless. looking at the world in slight rose colored tint. pushing for More. accidentally stepping over others, maybe, but striving for strength in their own ways. Greedy. they’re kindred spirits in that way.

on the flipside of that, subaru inspires imperfection out of julius. repeatedly. subaru inspires julius to get that part of him from his childhood where he was this earnest overzealous passionate little kid and let it out again instead of being prim and proper 24/7. “juli”.

julius steps in to save subaru during arc 3 also bc julius sees himself in subaru—a passionate kid who fumbles in every single direction but that heart is there, and subaru is a walking whirlwind bc unlike julius, he can’t slap a prim and proper persona over it. he wears everything on his sleeve. he’s misguided, in the wrong, but still. his Heart is a tempting sight, and it hits julius a little personally. subaru was a mirror of julius, the part of julius that julius tried to hide a little all while subaru Offends the knights and says shit like how the knights cling to their father’s names (when julius almost kinda does cling to his family name and his knightly ideals to make himself into something Bigger and Grander), but of course julius has Morals and cant let subaru get hurt to the other knights. and sacrifices his reputation in the process—

(these are from the Arc 3 interlude that shows Julius’s side of the duel aftermath)

“did you find his tarnishing of your knightly pride unforgivable to that extent”…… and of course julius readily accepting punishment 👀👀

“the very symbol of his pride as a knight”…. yeah that duel meant several things to julius, and it sets up the entirety of julisuba from here on out. julius treasures idealism—

(hooray juliemisuba crumbs!!) but… julius noting how this duel wasn’t enough to break subarus spirit 👀👀 “It would not be such a bad thing to trade swords with a fool full of idealism once more.” “As for an annoyance… perhaps he was that, a little bit.” fucking hilarious but also so true—bc julius himself is Also a fool full of idealism. naturally, he takes a liking to subaru quickly which then leads to him declaring subaru his friend in later arc 3 <3

“It is truly in Lady Emilia’s nature to cause pain in others…. That very nature is what allows her to live as nobly and beautifully as she does. I do not deign to wish her to change. Thus, all I can do is hope that she lives more righteously, more genuinely, without anything to be ashamed of.” / “Does that go for the boy, too?” / “It goes for everyone…. It is for that very reason I wield a sword.”

It goes for everyone, julius says. these are values he treasures most in himself and in others, and once he sees it in others, he finds himself drawn to them. (though def interesting how julius doesnt 100% answer ferris’s next question on subaru straightforwardly…) julius comments on emilia here, but its also like. why does julius, the upstanding picture of a knight, follow anastasia, a cutthroat business woman? (other than her being the absolute coolest and the ana camp being a whole family <3)

its bc of greed and ambition. the strive for something greater, to dedicate your life to your passions and devotions. theres a whole ss about how julius is told by ana that she wants the best knight possible and bc of his own insecurity assumes she Must mean reinhard—but no. julius is the finest knight for a reason—bc he painstakingly shapes himself to be that way. of course he sees a similar sort of trait in subaru, how subaru shapes himself to be something greater too, and julius finds himself a littleeee starry eyed. perhaps. pun intended.

anyway. this is my long winded way of saying—yeah, julius is drawn to subaru for a lot of reasons. julius quickly finds himself attached to subaru in arc 3, and subaru coaxes out julius’s imperfection while encouraging julius’s passions.

as far as i know (of course feel free to add onto this if im missing stuff), there isnt anything in canon that reads as particularly homoerotic about subaru from julius’s pov. at least not to the same level as subaru repeatedly checking out julius’s body and saying julius is oh so handsome LMFAO. (though julius’s rainbow spirits are super cool.) so i cant definitively go “julius is 100% romantically into subaru”. especially as im asexual myself so personally romance is fun to me but not always a requirement for every ship’s depiction (or at the very least i Love exploring ships having different dynamics across different iterations of them)—so this is more so me going “theyre so intimate with each other in their own ways !!! i love viewing them from multiple angles !!!” <3 but their friendship and what they have in canon is extremely good foundation for romance. and julius likes subaru a Lot!! theyve gone through quite a bit together and theres More to come !!

[heartofbusan]

I’m new to the fandom, I found the show on Disney and couldn’t look away. Jimin and Jungkook are so cute I had to know more about them. I found my way here to tumblr, it’s been a while since I’ve been involved in a fandom, but I do love their music and they seem to be such a cute couple!

I Read on here though that some people think these two were distant in the past year? I came across it looking for the way the travel show came to be, not that I found anything about that other than what was said on the show. I was just wondering why they made it and not fully with the group? I know some were enlisted at the time? Anyway, the take I found on a blog shocked me. This person saying they are either Fwb, they broke up or were just distant? But how can that be when they made this show? They seem so in tune with each other and domestic? And to enlist, which I learnt hadn’t been done before for an idol?

I just See commitment and got weirded out by said comments by people supposedly supporting them. I’ve never seen that in a fandom space before. I found some of your posts and you seemed level headed and I just wanted to ask your pov?

Thank you

Hi, and welcome to the fandom. Are you a BTS fan as well or just jikook? I'm so curious 😅 maybe they'll be your gateway drug to BTS and that would be WILD. Bcs shipping, or in jikook's case supporting, is usually something that happens once you look deeper into certain interactions or vibes.

And Jikook have vibes to spare! So it doesn't surprise me that you pick up on that.

When it comes to jikook I think the best way to approach them as you travel in these spaces is to just enjoy them for what they present to you. What you see, is what you get. Now, tbh some people look SO closely they think they're seeing things that aren't even there. They think they can infer motivation and emotions and whole backstories cut from cloth all from A LOOK, usually from a three second clip heavily slowed down 😂. I think it's much simpler than that. You see it. You put 2 and 2 together when you said 'they enlisted together'.

That's everything right there.

Jimin and Jungkook chose to be together. They've been choosing eo since they were teenagers. They're the ones who are most often seen together. No matter the setting. Jikook speak the same language, one borne of love and respect. They see the other, truly see, flaws and all and still love and support. They know things about the other they themselves can't know or see about themselves.

I'll be honest and say that I, too, thought at a certain point thar they might have cooled it down at a certain point. They are humans, after all, and relationships aren't always easy. In my eyes, they are mature enough to be able to revert back to friendship if that were to ever happen. Yet, I don't think they'd be able to stay away from each other. They really have something special going, and why would you deny yourself such a thing?!

I need to say, though, that jikook are not the first idols ever to enlist in the buddy program. Though I can't tell you who did.

It’s noteworthy because once again, jikook chose to deviate from what the other BTS members were doing. Defying everyone: their haters, solos, and the general fandom. But...jikook gonna jikook. No matter the eyerolling and haw clenching. And that, that takes some real guts.

The reason jikook did the travel show together and not with the group is because the others are not a part of their symbiosis. Easy as that. Jikook have something else going on. Something that makes them want to spend extra time together. This, however, does not threaten the group, nor the other friendships within, nor the special bonds they each have with other people. But it is different. And whomever doesn't see that is just being wilfully ignorant.

So, there it is. Plain and simple. By enlisting together, jikook are once again not hiding the (to some) obvious. It's just another step towards that something they've been nurturing. They've been doing it for years. No matter the cost. And that is not something you'd do with a fuck buddy 😌🙂‍↕️ right?

Thanks for your ask! 💜

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Time for a long Aylin ramble, because I haven't indulged in a while.

I'm actually really invested in Aylin being an aasimar! I do not think it is a misnomer or mistake, as I've seen people suggest. She was referred to as a celestial explicitly in some older builds of the game, but this was changed at some point during development. And I noted aasimar enjoyer Oath, quelle surprise prefer it this way for a variety of reasons. Primarily, I think, because it lets her be larger than life, have a touch of that other-worldliness and otherness, while keeping her very much "of this world" still, very (physically and otherwise) present and part of the prime material plane, and ultimately far more human than I believe even she herself would sometimes like to be.

To bring up the most basic and rules/mechanics-bound "creature type" level of categorisation, as an aasimar she is a humanoid, and not a celestial - outsider. Her outsider status is absolutely there and a goldmine of things to explore, but that's a different post sitting in my drafts for far too long that I'll get around to one of these days (but for now you should read this post that I love). Yes, she is in a very real sense above it all, she will outlast everyone around her and whatever she gets involved with. We also get to see her dramatic poetic archaic speech idiosyncrasies (Ho!), her odd sense of the passage of time, and, of course, her oft-discussed and joked about apparent lack of filter or regard for current social graces.

(Endlessly amused at her just going: I'll do it when my mum tells me to.)

All things combined, Aylin feels more like a being of two worlds to me than a guest visiting this one, even as she is called the emissary of a goddess. She embodies a blending and an odd balancing act between the lofty divine and the mundane, duty and preordained purpose and personhood, and touches on the many ways this balance can be tipped. A classic D&D aasimar struggle, really, and a well I am happy to keep returning to.

Balthazar: She was a unique specimen even before I began my work. Aasimar. A god's blood united with mortal flesh.

She honestly isn't even that far from a regular aasimar stat- and ability-wise - Aylin does have several special abilities, but these are flavoured as blessings from her divine mother instead of an inherent property of her as a creature - though, notably, Aylin herself at one point claims she is always reborn because "it is [her] nature".

“Blessed with the favour of a goddess, Nightsong cannot be permanently killed. When unconscious, at the start of her turn she recovers 1 hit point.” “Nightsong will be resurrected by the powers of Selûne whenever she dies.”

Importantly, she does not get to reincarnate, or get a new body, or flit away to her "home plane" or anything like what celestials get to do. She is anchored to this one physical existence (again, very human of her), tied and limited to this one body as it painstakingly repairs itself over and over and over (to a sometimes extreme extent, e.g. the all but outright stated regrowing of amputated body parts in a frankly horrifying context), insistently and indomitably but ultimately imperfectly. And I think that's part of why the kintsugi design drives me utterly wild, why her immortality setup is more interesting to me than, say, a mutant healing factor, or something like the characters in The Old Guard. Her history is pretty literally engraved on her skin, and when she, in the role of a power-granting artefact and the object of a ritual sacrifice, tells you she will feel every wound you inflict upon her, it is so easy to believe her. And I'm not even that invested in physical suffering, just that it means it's all still very palpably there, forever, and she doesn't get to magically restart with a clean slate in this sense, nor does she get to forget past lifetimes as some creatures like devas do. It's just a flavour of immortality I personally find far more engaging than most.

(I mean, yes, I am also a known hurt/comfort sucker and if you're going there in order to set up a scene where she's, I dunno, getting doted on by Isobel who's invented new scar tissue pain relief massage techniques, you know I'm going to be all over that.)

I'm also not sure I'd say she can just pop over to Argentil to hang out with her mum at will. I mean, planeshifting is not that hard to achieve, and also she can just… ask Selûne, ultimately, I guess. But I wouldn't say she has spent much time there, and I think she takes her role as Selûne's champion and representative in the Realms too seriously and too much to heart to be away from them for very long.

Which also calls to mind the issue of the obvious and "simple" answer to Isobel's eventual death - namely that with Isobel picked up as a petitioner soul they'll all just go live out the better part of an eternity in Selûne's realm. Probably in some form they will - it's never guaranteed, but this time, yeah, probably something like that will happen, and there will be, as Melodia says, no loss, only temporary separation. But I'm really not into just handwaving or stripping away most of the mortal/immortal pairing issues inherent in the relationship. If we're going for the "hang out in a different plane of existence forever" option, I think at one point Aylin would have to "complete" her duties and lay down her sword, in a way, and pick between Faerûn and the Gates of the Moon - meaning she herself is effectively moving on to a completely new phase of her existence as well.

And while Selûne carving a lovely marble statue and bringing it to life and similar takes are fun and beautiful and interesting, I'm very invested in an Aylin who was born, raised, and had to actually grow up and learn and be trained. I have a ton of headcanons of Aylin being a weird glowy baby at some point (with all the Disney's Hercules jokes I've seen folks make, of course), being entrusted to a series of Selûnite enclaves and temples and cloisters, hounded by Shar and her agents pretty much all her life.

(Neither here nor there, but Aylin also comes off as a fairly "young" immortal to me - note that I am basing this on absolutely nothing but a general impression and there's no actual hint anywhere about how old she really is. Just vibes.)

To finish up, I'd like to shout out Isobel, and the big humanising factor she is presented as. For instance, a very concrete bit of motivation for Aylin to eventually "humanise" her perception of time, if nothing else.

Aylin without Isobel is horribly depressing to me mostly because she seems to distance herself from her humanity and err on the side of holy duty (see: her epilogue letter, ouch). And Isobel is definitely the person who (invaluably, imo) explicitly and consistently insists on Aylin's humanity and personhood, who cares for her as a woman and not a divine weapon, who actually treats her well-being as a priority, and who understands her so very well and so deeply. Who does acknowledge the gloriously resplendent Dame Aylin, daughter of the Moonmaiden herself in all her awe-inspiring presence and occasionally amusing foibles, but who never fails to look past the titles and fronts even Aylin herself is so keen to put up, and focus on what lies behind it all.

A moment that sticks out to me in particular is her bemoaning Aylin's disregard for her own safety, then actually getting very angry if you suggest Lorroakan can't hurt Aylin:

Isobel: Even after all she's been through, she thinks herself unstoppable - invincible. It all feels like recklessness to me. Player: Lorroakan can't harm her. Have faith. Isobel: He can harm her. Just as Ketheric did. She'll survive it, but she can suffer like any of us - and for longer.

Using Isobel's words verbatim is a good conclusion to my thoughts here, I think: the truth of Aylin being "singular among us all" coexisting with all the ways Aylin is "just like any of us".

And now I'll pay the cute Aylin screenshot tax one last time.

[dipperscavern]

about to go to bed, but this post got me thinking… cregan x reader w strange interests.,… walk with me here

people have always been a bit… unaccepting, when it comes to you and the things you like. they’ll enjoy your personality well enough, laugh with you at feasts, treat you courteously at gatherings, but decide they don’t enjoy your company the moment you show a different part of yourself.

one that takes a special interest in poisonous plants, knows how to prepare a body after death, collects bones and feathers, charts astrology… and your pets are usually quite successful in labeling you as completely mad.

you understand to some extent. different is strange, and people reject the things they don’t understand. such is the games of highborns (a rather cruel dance, really.) but you found you couldn’t find it within yourself to try and change. after all, comparison is the thief of joy, as your beloved old maester would say.

you were alright with solidarity, if being alone meant being yourself — but the old gods have always been said to have a sense of humor.

it seems cregan stark is not so off put by such oddities. quite the opposite, in fact.

your pet spider doesn’t repulse him, like it does the others. while he would’ve been most content to allow you the sole responsibility of spider-handling, it didn’t take much convincing on your part. only a simple statement of reassurance, a small smile, a warmth of your cheeks at his interest, and cregan finds himself sat on the bed as you retrieve your eight-legged friend.

whatever doubts he harbors instantly vanish as you sit across from him, un-cupping your hands to reveal a much bigger spider than he previously thought. tarantula, he’s heard the maesters say (with horror.)

while one holds the maesters’ worst nightmare, your other hand reaches for his. he takes note of your warmth, the softness of your hands in comparison to his own. people usually don’t touch him without permission, and, perhaps strangely, he wishes you to never hesitate when doing so.

he uncurls his palm for you, and before you transfer the creature, you softly ask for him to “please don’t scare him.” — and cregan’s heart skips a beat, because he knows at that very moment, he would heed your every request. anything you ask of him, it is yours.

perhaps this revelation would produce a greater affect on lord stark if he wasn’t so encapsulated with staying still while your creature begins to crawl from your palm to his own.

its great work to not tense himself or pull away when it happens, but you watch him so intensely, waiting to pull your creature to safety at any indicator. so he stills. you ground him, even if unaware.

once your creature is fully in his palm, it seems comfortable. sitting itself, abdomen flush to cregan’s palm to encompass the warmth he offers. you sit like that in silence for a moment, cregan observing it’s markings, and you waiting for the warden of the north’s assessment of you and your creature.

after some time, cregan speaks, tone different from the usual one of lord stark.

“Does he have a name?”

you can’t help but smile at his words, and he can’t help the way your expression makes one of his own tug at his lips. “Bones.”

“Bones?” he repeats, face relaxing in his surprise. his words don’t contain any malice, only a question in its tone.

you nod tentatively, as if awaiting judgement. “When found in the kitchens, a cook tried killing him with a chicken bone.”

his gaze momentarily flickers to the spider as he nods his head, a sort of understanding passing between the wolf and the arachnid. something else is there, too. a fondness for you unfurling in his chest — how you can find beauty in such things; things deemed unwanted by most people.

cregan’s gaze finds you again, and you look at the spider in his hands with such reverence it makes his lips part in silent adoration.

you’ve captured him, he thinks. he’s damned.

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

SVT helping a partner with chronic pain/fatigue

Requested? Yes! (and they are still open!)

Genre: Comfort

A/N: I received two requests, one for chronic pain and one for chronic fatigue. I feel that these kind of go hand in hand, if only because pain can lead to fatigue or vice versa, so I’ve combined these requests to avoid too much repetition between posts. 

A/N #2: I grouped members by specific aspects for this one. That’s not to say that any of them wouldn’t do any or all of the items listed (plus more), but they’re grouped by what I think they're most suited for or would do naturally, regardless of your condition.

Helps you stay active - Seungcheol, Woozi, Seungkwan, Chan

This list kind of started as the gym rat line, but I thought better of it, so hear me out. These guys strike me as ones that really enjoy being physically active, albeit in different ways. When you tell him the doctor recommends regular exercise but you just can't bring yourself to do it, his immediate response is, “I’ll do it with you, baby.” He’ll go to the gym with you and stick with you through whatever workout you’re feeling up to today, even if it’s not quite what his workout would usually look like. He’ll ask you to go to the park to play a sport casually with lots of breaks in between, if only to reframe it as something fun rather than exercise. He might even try to teach you some choreography, not with the goal of you really learning it or being good at it, but to find some stress-free, lower-impact ways to move your body. 

Helps you find ways to get quality sleep - Hoshi, Wonwoo, Vernon

You might think one of these things doesn't belong, but I have yet another ‘hear me out’ (I’m full of them!!!). Wonwoo and Vernon both seem to value sleep and having a regular routine around it. They’ll find ways to help you relax - be it a hot shower before bed, some light reading (Wonwoo’s voice reading to you, hello??), or things like heating pads or special pillows to make sleep something that is more likely to happen for you. Now, I think Hoshi needs those things just as much as you do, if only because he needs the opportunity to recharge. Those little habits make it easier to sleep and get restorative rest. 

Helps you manage symptoms - Joshua, Mingyu, Minghao

When you tell him that your doctor recommends cutting or limiting certain things from your diet, he’s totally on board and will absolutely do it with you. The processed foods stop appearing on the grocery list. The sugary dessert after dinner is replaced by a big bowl of fresh fruit. The caffeinated drinks are replaced by non-caffeinated options or different fun substitutes entirely. He’ll never deny any of those things for you if you’re really craving them, but if eliminating and trying new things might help you then he’ll have your back. He’s also got the heating pads, massages, and pain meds on lock for when a good diet just doesn’t cut it. 

Helps you manage stress - Jeonghan, Jun, DK

He sees the cycle. You get stressed with work, school, family life, whatever. On the heels of that stress is fatigue, quickly followed by pain. He’ll do all the things mentioned above when the fatigue and pain is unavoidable, but he really likes to do things that help manage the stress to begin with. The chores are done so you don't have to dread them all day for when you get home. He’s helping you stay active, if only to work off that stress before it consumes you. He’s packing your lunch so you can get a few extra minutes of sleep or just simply take your time getting ready for the day. It’s the little things that you might not even notice he does all the time, but when you remember you needed to do something and find that it’s already been done, you get a moment to sigh in relief and just rest. 

[nattikay]

So apparently it's now been officially confirmed that the "Mangkwan" clan briefly mentioned at the end of The Next Shadow comics IS indeed the "ash clan" that will be featured in Fire and Ash (a lot of people speculated this before but it wasn't confirmed until now).

...which is all fine and dandy, except that kw is still not a valid consonant cluster, Karyu Pawl plz explain, the language nerds are crying 😭 Was this perhaps a typo of Mangkuan or Mangkawn? Or a new dialect that allows for more clusters? Or something else?

Right now my theory is that it's gonna be Mangkuan and the Mangkuan vs Mangkwan spelling difference will essentially be the same as Omatikaya vs Omaticaya (the first one being the technically "correct" one per Na'vi phonetics but the second still showing up in some canon material).

Part of the problem here, I think, comes down to what I'm gonna call the Cameron Paradox. James Cameron didn't create the Na'vi language; he created a small list of words, as well as all the character names (from the movies at least, idk about the comics and games), then hired linguist Paul Frommer (Karyu Pawl) to do the rest. Cameron's grammatical/phonetic/etc understanding of the language Frommer built, from what I can tell, seems to be pretty limited; those details are Frommer's realm. So it's very possible that Cameron chose the name Mangkwan because it sounded cool and simply had no idea that it's technically invalid within the sound system Frommer set up.

However...while Cameron himself isn't the one who created the Na'vi language, he does technically own it. It's a commissioned work and therefore Cameron, as the commissioner, has the power to override Frommer if he wishes. If Cameron has his heart set on "Mangkwan", Frommer doesn't really have a choice but to work around that. He might end up doing that by hand-waving it as a special spelling variation of "Mangkuan" (again like the explanation of c vs k in Omatikaya), or he might end up doing it by incorporating some sort of special new dialect rules for the Ash People. Or maybe some other solution that I haven't thought of. We just don't know yet.

...and Karyu Pawl might not actually be legally allowed to address it until after the movie's release date, so we might be waiting for a quite a while to find out ;w;

[whiteboi-inferiority]

Hey Mister 🙈✨

You’ve got a very intriguing blog… I’ve enjoyed much of what you’ve posted 🤭

Wonder if you feel the same about me?

I think I bring a little more to the table than the average fangirl, but I’m eager to see if you agree 😌 I sense that you’re an intelligent man so I really respect what you have to say 😘🙈

Long story short, in 2021 I committed to being an exclusive bottom and had an amicable split with my girlfriend (we’re still good friends 🥰). After a few years of self exploration and hard thinking, I decided to access my state’s gender affirming healthcare and began a hormone plan with my doctor 🥳

Gender has always been a struggle for me. I’ve known my whole life that I’m not a man, but I’ve never really felt like I’m a trans woman either. Over time I’ve grown to accept myself for who I really am & how I feel - not the labels that society puts on me 💖🌸

Thats why I’m proud to be a beta boi 🎀✨ A femmie, a fairy bottom, a boudoir belle 💋 Something in-between… unique and special. I am valued and loved because I’m soft and weak, not in spite of those things ❤️

I’ve accepted that I will never fit the mold of a big strong man - I renounce any privilege I was accidentally given due to my mistake of having been born with this sad imitation of a penis 🥺 I refuse to continue my micro aggressions against the women of society 😭 to burden them with the task of affirming my pathetic performance of masculinity. I reject the toxicity of my birth gender, and swear to always champion the causes of feminism & social justice 🎀🏆✨

Hope to hear back from you soon 🥰

https://www.tumblr.com/metamourmatador/766601075700662272/dont-let-them-get-you-down

(P.S. I’ve been trying for some time now to muster up the courage to say hello, and I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that my gal pal @karlie-xox was insistent I stop by… 🤭)

Attagirl, being brave. @karlie-xox does have a way of motivating you bitches to get in touch huh?

I've seen your content before, of course. I can appreciate the technical skill, creativity and sentiment even if I'm not the target audience. You do good work, and even as you focus more on encouraging effeminacy and making being a sissy girly girl appealing, whether you realise it or not this helps further propagate the BNWO. So thank you for your service, however unintentional.

Reframing your characteristics in a more positive way is hugely beneficial to your mental health, happiness and sense of purpose. Why continue being miserable as a second rate man when you can be so much happier being a first-rate hyper-femme sissy girly? Its not a life of no expectations, but a life of different expectations to which you might be better suited. Well done doing the work to realise that and more importantly acting upon that realisation; you certainly seem to be in a good place with friends, admirers, status, and a sense of purpose as a result. I'm sure your story will be relatable and inspiring to others, so happy to give it a boost.

[rukakaru-u]

DGM 253 thoughts and questions

1) Apo not understanding the nature of the helix further emphasized that Innocence is amoral

It is established that Innocence is sentient, but all the fragments are subordinate to the Heart. Most don’t have free will; they are either dormant or try to attract accommodators because the Heart needs them to. Since they are stuck in a crystalized form, all they can do is cause strange phenomena to signal people. It seems like they can interact with most things in this world, not just living beings, but they don’t know limitations. Lavi saying that Apo doesn’t understand the helix implies that even though he can learn, react to, and mimic human behavior, he can’t comprehend human nature, by extension morality either. It makes him an interesting antagonist and contextualizes his obsession with Allen. Apo thinks he is superior to people and only views them as energy sources, but Allen’s existence challenges this. So far, it seems like Innocence(s) are reactionary creatures that can learn from and evolve through people but have limitations when it comes to emotional intelligence.

2) The Heart’s conditions for choosing an accommodator are related to their fate, or rather Innocence forces them to be stuck in a bad one

Fate is interpreted in different ways in the story. For Allen, it is a choice, to Cross, it is something you create, to Mana it is something you can't escape and for the Heart, something to control. It is unclear if people’s fate is determined or if there are several different outcomes for everyone, but Innocence can sense that someone is on a bad path.* I assume, they can detect strong emotional responses, but they also must be in the right place. With the affirmation that accommodators are sacrificial lambs, the Heart’s method of trapping people in their misery is particularly cruel and still, questionably efficient. If the Heart wants to go against the Earl, I wonder if quality can battle with quantity. One miserable accommodator is that much more powerful?

*Side note: Does Innocence accept Bookman as accommodators, because their job is miserable by default? Can they get rid of Innocence after they are done recording? If a Jr. is a chosen one, does that mean that some people’s fate is indeed determined?

3) Does the Heart eat souls too?

All living things have a soul, and after death, they return to their origin: the helix. Humans have the most powerful helix energy; their emotions bring forth evolution and their bonds connect them through time and space. This natural power is exploited by the Earl and the Heart. The Earl can imprison (=contain and control) souls and then use their despair to evolve Akuma, while the Heart seeks out specific people to slowly drain out their life energy for reasons, again, unknown. Through Allen’s eye, we see that Akuma souls don’t have free will and probably can’t go back to the helix until an exorcist sets them free. Even though the Heart only deals with life energy, what if the twist is that exorcised souls end up in it? It is kinda stupid but also fun. (Will there be a Madoka Magica twist too??)

4) How could Lavi sacrifice himself?

So, the "magic" rules of this universe aren’t that clear to me still; there is rarely ever an explanation for why things happen the way they are. (But it could be that I’m an overthinker too). The Bookman are also the cheaters of this world (special blood, ancient knowledge, inhuman strength, etc.), but really, all it takes is a decision to be part of somebody’s soul. Is the price that Allen must suffer in the future? Like they must pay back to the universe? Or must he suffer, because there was something wrong with Lavi?* DGM, explain.

This chapter had more confirmations than questions, which is nice. :))

*Side note: The "child of calamity" can either refer to his failure as a Bookman or that he was born with misfortune. White hair seems to be a bad omen, but Allen's only turned white after the curse. Did it trigger remains of Lavi inside him? It is also a fun detail. (this one is for @tetitous who gave some pespective after I wrote this originally)

[k1tty5]

Hey! If you feel like thanking a doodle request, maybe a lil Gem? Perhaps in her scientist outfit?

Thank you in advance, and I hope life gets better soon! [:

a gem for you <3

[jicklet]

Elemental (2023)

[gracemarkss]

this exchange goes crazy...dana "i worship the sea he sailed on" "i did it because i knew if he found out he would kill me" "part of me likes it, needs it, wants the approval" " along the way there are other fathers" "i thought you'd be pleased" "he was my instructor at the academy" "he must have been a wonderful teacher...yes, he's remarkable man" "your fear of failing him?" scully would know a thing or two about THAT...

[winteriron-trash]

rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo

This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.

I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.

This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.

I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.